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(CNN)   Dopestrong   ( divider line
    More: News, on deck, Tour de France, United States Anti-Doping Agency  
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22890 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jan 2013 at 8:07 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-01-14 08:08:19 PM  
42 votes:
That took some ball to admit.
2013-01-14 08:09:44 PM  
22 votes:
So? Its not like they can take away his moon landing.
2013-01-14 08:09:25 PM  
9 votes:
Apparently he'd give his left nut to win the Tour De France.
2013-01-14 10:04:52 PM  
8 votes:
YOU get an asterisk!   YOU get an asterisk!   YOU get an asterisk!
2013-01-14 08:25:07 PM  
8 votes:
Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you dope.
2013-01-14 08:12:10 PM  
7 votes:
Oprah probably forced him to eat some more Crow.
2013-01-14 08:52:58 PM  
6 votes:

After all this time, after he already got away with it, why the fark would he admit it now? Farking moran, if you're going to cheat, the at least be consistent about it.

"Admitting he cheated at this point is like the Duke of Wellington admitting on his deathbed that he was going to lose to Napoleon at the Battle of Waterloo and the only reason he won was because he had the Prussian 4th corps to outflank General Lobau at Frichermont thus turning the tide of the whole battle and saving his ass."

2013-01-14 08:14:42 PM  
5 votes:
So he:

1) cheated.
2) covered up that he cheated.
3) lied about cheating.
4) lied about covering up that he cheated.
5) Got caught.
6) Continued to lie.
7) Got caught again.
8) Realized he couldn't lie his way out of it.
9) Got banned and expunged from the record books, so he had nothing left to lose.
10) Decided to admit to everything in a final cash grab.

Do I have that right?  One hell of a ten step program there, Mr. Armstrong.
2013-01-14 08:15:45 PM  
4 votes:

aerojockey: CokeBear: So? Its not like they can take away his moon landing.

Wrong Armstrong.  The guy who landed on the moon was Louis.

No that was Apollo Creed.
2013-01-14 08:15:06 PM  
4 votes:

CokeBear: So? Its not like they can take away his moon landing.

Wrong Armstrong.  The guy who landed on the moon was Louis.
2013-01-14 08:09:48 PM  
3 votes:

the_foo: When are they going to realize that no one cares?

When people stop taking the time to post how little they care in online discussion threads about it.
2013-01-15 11:34:16 AM  
2 votes:
You should be thanking Lance Armstrong and Livestrong. Most of you wouldn't even know about cancer had it not been for his foundation raising awareness of cancer. So what if they didn't raise money for treatment, research, or prevention. That pales in comparison to raising awareness that cancer exists. Before Lance it was often debated like global warming or Jesus. But Lance proved cancer was real and could be defeated! Livestrong!
2013-01-14 09:26:02 PM  
2 votes:

chumboobler: He did all that. I will not deny it. He will no longer deny it. His foundation has helped thousands of people. Do good deeds that bring a greater good not outdo a failure of the past? In spite of what the outcome now may be, for years his story has inspired many with cancer to fight. It has given hope to many. Yes he cheated to win at an ultra high level sporting event multiple times. That was wrong. Denying it was also wrong. The level of good his foundation has done should not be forgotten. His fame was based on cheating but he used that fame in the right way. He helped people with it. He helped himself too but he has helped thousands of cancer sufferers and their families. That should not be forgotten. Overall the effect has been a positive one for many many people. To deny that is not right.

Rob a bank, create a lucrative human trafficking, prostitution and drug ring with the funds, take your earnings and donate half of them to St. Jude's, and keep the other half and retire a millionaire. Yeah those first two things were bad, but look at the awesome cancer research being done with your illicit gains! Don't forget that! To deny that is not right. Not right, I tell you! Wear your Cheatstrong rubber band with pride.
2013-01-14 08:18:27 PM  
2 votes:
I blame his father:

2013-01-15 01:39:20 PM  
1 vote:

Ex-Texan: It's ok to hte on Armstrong, given the fact He's vehemenly denied it for so long, then fesses up after he's made a boatload of cash Whoring him self out, then discreetly sayinghe may repay the USPS for some of their sponsorship money.
And for those myopic/uneducated folk, get the d*ck out of you ass/mouth/both, put down your closeout Walmart Camos, and get some exercise. I'm surprised a lot more of you haters don't get winded using the remotecontrol.
/Just bought a 29" mountain bike
//Don't ride anywhere near the miserable, hating, Homo fat farks.
///Doing a 7day,700 mile ride in Colorado come summer. Your Hoverround doesn't have the batteries to carry Hating, obese fat farks like you.
2013-01-15 04:05:59 AM  
1 vote:
2013-01-15 02:02:37 AM  
1 vote:

moefuggenbrew: Don't care, never did.

Good thing you told us that, otherwise we wouldn't have known. This changes everything.
2013-01-14 11:38:56 PM  
1 vote:

whatshisname: Nothing To See Here: fatalvenom: hbk72777: So what?

There isn't a 100% clean sport today.



Championship Darts?
Or is beer considered doping?

Not at all. Any sport where you can drink beer and calm your hand to make you a better athlete is pretty damn sweet.

/ I wish drinking vodka and banging chicks 15lbs overweight would be considered a sport.
2013-01-14 11:16:14 PM  
1 vote:

whatshisname: fatalvenom: Hell, who gives 1/64th of a shiat about these idiots PERIOD?!?!!??

Watch the Tour de France next July.
There's more to life on Earth than what happens in the US.

It doesnt matter where it takes place. Road bike scum are one of the biggest piece of shiat demographics of human beings.

Get on one of these:

Get the fark off my roads. You twinks on your bikes dont pay taxes and licensing fees to use my roadways.

Go find a cock and somewhere else to ride and not piss off everyone else because you just happen to be a douchebag.
2013-01-14 10:25:19 PM  
1 vote:
2013-01-14 10:18:24 PM  
1 vote:
It's ironic that Lance Armstrong never took a single drug in his entire life until the World Anti-Doping Agency pumped his body with mind-altering drugs, which forced Armstrong to "admit he was a cheater".
2013-01-14 08:56:29 PM  
1 vote:
Eventually through a series of even more tragic professional and personal relationship collapses, Lance will find himself sharing support with a group of men with similar problems. This will eventually lead to an unfortunate mishap during a special project when he loses his own life and then becomes his old self again.

His name was Lance Armstrong.

His name was Lance Armstrong.

His name was Lance Armstrong.
2013-01-14 08:54:40 PM  
1 vote:
I just realized something: Obvious tag looks just like the News tag, when on dope.
2013-01-14 08:43:50 PM  
1 vote:
Boy, Lance really dropped the ball this time. Now I can stop holding my breath waiting for the other ball to drop. Admitting what he did really took some brass ball. The constant lying must have drove him f*cking nut.
2013-01-14 08:43:11 PM  
1 vote:

Solid State Vittles: Oprah probably forced him to eat some more Crow.
2013-01-14 08:39:42 PM  
1 vote:
And he still was faster than everybody else who was cheating. Winner in my book.
2013-01-14 08:35:08 PM  
1 vote:

"Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat!"
2013-01-14 08:34:22 PM  
1 vote:

All_Farked_Up: ilikeracecars: Millions of people are left wondering: where is Oprah's channel?

Millions are wondering: that fat whore has her own channel?

Whoa dude, dial it down a notch.
2013-01-14 08:34:06 PM  
1 vote:
So what are all those people who claimed he was being persecuted for doing nothing wrong going to be saying?
2013-01-14 08:31:02 PM  
1 vote:

ilikeracecars: Millions of people are left wondering: where is Oprah's channel?

Millions are wondering: that fat whore has her own channel?
2013-01-14 08:30:39 PM  
1 vote:

wholedamnshow: Good. No one likes a snitch. It's not like the people that ratted him out were any cleaner than him.

"But HE'S cheating too! Waaaaaaaaaaaaah!

It's like Lonnegan from The Sting: "What was I supposed to do - call him for cheating better than me, in front of the others?"
2013-01-14 08:26:51 PM  
1 vote:

Of course, everyone else did it too, and he still won, so that's something.
2013-01-14 08:22:37 PM  
1 vote:
It's nice to see that he grew half a pair, and fessed up.
2013-01-14 08:21:19 PM  
1 vote:
2013-01-14 08:17:41 PM  
1 vote:
Oh great. Another cyclist with an axe to grind trying to ruin Lance's career. The man never tested positive! Let him have his wins!

2013-01-14 08:13:02 PM  
1 vote:
And the number of f*cks given haven't changed.
2013-01-14 08:12:59 PM  
1 vote:
No way! Next you're going to tell me Barry Bonds is on steroids!!
2013-01-14 08:11:34 PM  
1 vote:
The truth shall set you free.

Morpheus 1999
2013-01-14 08:08:48 PM  
1 vote:
Obvious tag busy getting a transfusion?
2013-01-14 08:08:22 PM  
1 vote:
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