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(The Smoking Gun)   19-year-old busted for stealing a "Super Sucker." That would be embarrassing even it were just a lollipop, which it is not   (thesmokinggun.com) divider line 90
    More: Asinine, sex toys, job applications  
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22856 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jan 2013 at 5:20 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-14 05:22:11 PM  
Sucks to be him.
 
2013-01-14 05:22:25 PM  
What a super sucker may look like:

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-14 05:24:31 PM  
"While inside the business, Perez took the "adult pleasure device" from its packaging and placed it in his pants pocket"

Is that an adult pleasure device in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
 
2013-01-14 05:25:05 PM  
That read more like a product ad than an article about a shoplifting.
 
2013-01-14 05:26:24 PM  
And then he had to go sit on the Group W bench with all the rest of the mother rapers and father rapers, etc...
 
2013-01-14 05:27:16 PM  
A model D83 Swedish sure-grip suck machine?
 
2013-01-14 05:27:24 PM  
I hope he gets a stiff sentence.
 
2013-01-14 05:28:47 PM  
"I'm gonna go find me one of those girls who can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch."

Willie Nelson
 
2013-01-14 05:28:48 PM  
DON'T JUDGE ME!

Him, I mean. Don't judge him.
 
2013-01-14 05:29:27 PM  
So he was caught red handed?
 
2013-01-14 05:29:53 PM  
It would be a real shame if this were leaked to his local TV news stations with live coverage and reporters at the scene of the crime.
 
2013-01-14 05:31:44 PM  
Spencer's is still around? I haven't seen one of those places in 25 years.
 
2013-01-14 05:31:59 PM  
s12.postimage.org
 
2013-01-14 05:33:16 PM  
 
2013-01-14 05:33:33 PM  

blatz514: What a super sucker may look like:

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 297x400]


quirkymarketingcalendar.com

And the name of that goddess is ???
 
2013-01-14 05:34:01 PM  
I have a feeling he's gonna be a Super Sucker in the holding cell
 
2013-01-14 05:34:27 PM  
I highly doubt he would have stole this if men who enjoy the pleasures of a sex toy weren't publicly mocked and treated as pariahs.

/But anyway, the idiot stole a pocket pussy.
 
2013-01-14 05:35:21 PM  

Glancing Blow: "I'm gonna go find me one of those girls who can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch."

Willie Nelson


Or a golf ball through a garden hose.
 
2013-01-14 05:36:16 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-01-14 05:36:43 PM  
omahype.com

what supersuckers may look like.
 
2013-01-14 05:37:02 PM  
Amish prostitutes?
 
2013-01-14 05:37:57 PM  

halfof33: [i.qkme.me image 500x412]
pics on Sodahead
j/k


Leave your douchebag posts on Politics tab, moran.
 
2013-01-14 05:38:11 PM  

indarwinsshadow: blatz514: What a super sucker may look like:

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 297x400]

[quirkymarketingcalendar.com image 296x327]

And the name of that goddess is ???


Here ya go (SFWish)
 
2013-01-14 05:39:31 PM  

Maud Dib: Leave your douchebag posts on Politics tab, moran.


We don't want him either.
 
2013-01-14 05:40:05 PM  

blatz514: What a super sucker may look like:

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 297x400]


Here's another:

farm5.static.flickr.com
 
2013-01-14 05:40:41 PM  

cig-mkr: Glancing Blow: "I'm gonna go find me one of those girls who can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch."

Willie Nelson

Or a golf ball through a garden hose.


Or suck-start a Harley.
 
2013-01-14 05:40:46 PM  
He stole Paris Hilton?
 
2013-01-14 05:41:26 PM  

Maud Dib: halfof33: [i.qkme.me image 500x412]
pics on Sodahead
j/k

Leave your douchebag posts on Politics tab, moran.


Ya, only leftist douchebags can snark on the main page.
 
2013-01-14 05:42:02 PM  

CygnusDarius: blatz514: What a super sucker may look like:

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 297x400]

Here's another:

[farm5.static.flickr.com image 333x500]


YES, YES, & YES!!!
 
2013-01-14 05:43:10 PM  
RIP Sucker Punch

/too lazy to google the image
 
2013-01-14 05:44:24 PM  
Penetrating journalism. He'll get a whack from the penal system and probably early release. I'm sure things will be looking up again in no time.
 
2013-01-14 05:44:46 PM  
Tried to steal subbys mom?
 
2013-01-14 05:45:53 PM  
www.ericstapelist.com

That guy had some good taste
 
2013-01-14 05:46:00 PM  
FlashHarry

jpeg.

work done, etc.
 
2013-01-14 05:47:10 PM  
Ha Ha on this guy, but did you see this in the Mug Shots?
i.cdn.turner.com
 
2013-01-14 05:47:55 PM  
Please let it be the same guy!
www.wyff4.com
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2013-01-14 05:48:56 PM  
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com

in a row?
 
2013-01-14 05:49:10 PM  

TXEric: cig-mkr: Glancing Blow: "I'm gonna go find me one of those girls who can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch."

Willie Nelson

Or a golf ball through a garden hose.

Or suck-start a Harley.


Until your head caves in
 
2013-01-14 05:49:26 PM  
Today's deeply embarrassing arrest comes from a Spencer's store in Florida, where a 19-year-old was collared for trying to steal a $16.99 "super sucker" sex toy.

The "Super Sucker," seen at left, is manufactured by the Doc Johnson sex toy company, which describes the device as "the masturbator with a real-mouth sensation!"


Wow, I haven't been in Spencer's in years, but when did they drop the euphemisms like "muscle massager" and go straight for the throat, so to speak?
 
2013-01-14 05:50:03 PM  
halfof33:

Exactly WTF are you trying to accomplish with that? Seriously, do you think even one person here will see your completely unrelated political threadshiat and decide that they admire you because of it?
 
2013-01-14 05:50:24 PM  

majestic: He stole Paris Hilton?


That's a "Subpar Sucker". Common mistake.
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2013-01-14 05:52:46 PM  
farm4.staticflickr.com

Some people have good lives...
 
2013-01-14 05:53:28 PM  
No, THIS is a SuperSucker.

I drove one in university ...

www.superproductsllc.com

... so to speak.
 
2013-01-14 05:53:59 PM  

FlashHarry: [omahype.com image 360x243]

what supersuckers may look like.


Yeah...18 years ago. They're still rockin', but Spaghetti & Bolton are the only 2 originals left.
 
2013-01-14 05:58:04 PM  
This guy's job prospects are already sunk... for life. He will never pass the google-search background check, even when he's 65 and broke.

"Do you want fries with that?" might be something he says more than most.
 
2013-01-14 05:59:51 PM  
THREADJACK: To all the other Supersuckers fans on here, if you didn't know, Eddie Spaghetti was just diagnosed with Bell's Palsy. He has been keeping fans updated via FB. :(
 
2013-01-14 06:01:22 PM  

indarwinsshadow: blatz514: What a super sucker may look like:

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 297x400]


And the name of that goddess is ???


That's what Jenna Jameson looked like before Tito Ortiz's kids used her umbilical cord to repel out of her vagina.
 
2013-01-14 06:04:56 PM  

Clint_Torres: THREADJACK: To all the other Supersuckers fans on here, if you didn't know, Eddie Spaghetti was just diagnosed with Bell's Palsy. He has been keeping fans updated via FB. :(


That sounds noisy.

/Too soon?
 
2013-01-14 06:05:26 PM  
For a moment I wondered why the guy would have stolen my ex-wife, and why was she so expensive?
 
2013-01-14 06:07:02 PM  
Who the hell buys a pocket pussy at Spencer's Gifts? You can get them way cheaper at actual specialty shops.

...So I've heard
 
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