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(Evansville Courier Press)   HOA president: You may not use our name in any article. Evansville Courier & Press: Stonecreek, Stonecreek, Stonecreek   (courierpress.com) divider line 504
    More: Dumbass, HOA, Vanderburgh County, common areas, small claims court, covenants, Evansville Courier, Roch Dupre  
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27299 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jan 2013 at 3:05 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-14 01:38:00 PM
It's showwwwwwwwwwwwtime!
 
2013-01-14 01:45:32 PM
Step one: let the petty tyrants sue you.
Step two: seek attorneys fees when you bounce their frivolous suit right out of court.
Step three: record the judgment for attorneys fees and slap a lien on their house.
Step four: LOL.
 
2013-01-14 01:47:34 PM
I swear to god HOAs are lawyers collective attempt to become ruler of their own little country. And people BUY INTO IT!

/you could pay me to live in an HOA
//it would have to be a lot of money, but you could pay me.
 
2013-01-14 01:55:56 PM
If we find/discover you have mentioned Stonecreek in any legal matter their (sic) will be action toward yourself as well as any print paper you represent in the media article.

Lulz.

My mom's HOA is pretty bad.  Not the rules, but the leaders.  It's been a succession of little dictators pretty much since she's been there.  But, I have become tone deaf to her complaints.  She won't get involved - go to meetings, attempt to vote out the Napoleons, etc.  And she's pretty much fully retired now.  I agree they're terrible, but if she won't even try do to anything I just can't get all exercised over it.
 
2013-01-14 01:59:36 PM

ajgeek: And people BUY INTO IT!


That's the real puzzling part.  I don't get what the upshot is.  I suppose if you REALLY loved conformity and wanted to live in a neighborhood where the houses all look the same.  Can't really see why it would appeal to anyone.  I've got a pickup truck without plates in my yard just for driving around on my property, I've got two septic tanks still in the ground, I cut my grass when the mood strikes me.  I wouldn't last a week in an HOA environment.
 
2013-01-14 02:00:27 PM
I've lived in an HOA, it was an outrage! My property value didn't go down, my neighbors weren't allowed to park their broke down cars on the front lawn and I wasn't even able to call the cops on my neighbors for them not blasting music into the wee hours of the morning.
 
2013-01-14 02:05:47 PM

nekom: ajgeek: And people BUY INTO IT!

That's the real puzzling part.  I don't get what the upshot is.


I don't know what it's like elsewhere, but here in Central Florida (and I believe the majority of the rest of the state) you can't avoid them.  You'd never find a house if you won't accept an HOA.

Mine is OK.  Which is surprising because we have alot of cranky old folks.
 
2013-01-14 02:08:51 PM

Diogenes: I don't know what it's like elsewhere, but here in Central Florida (and I believe the majority of the rest of the state) you can't avoid them. You'd never find a house if you won't accept an HOA.

Mine is OK. Which is surprising because we have alot of cranky old folks.


You seriously can't, even in rural areas?  It's much the opposite here, I've never heard of any HOAs here, at least not in any of the old towns, maybe some newer developments have them.

Elzar: I've lived in an HOA, it was an outrage! My property value didn't go down, my neighbors weren't allowed to park their broke down cars on the front lawn and I wasn't even able to call the cops on my neighbors for them not blasting music into the wee hours of the morning.


The alley behind my house is strewn with vehicles in various states of operation and disrepair.  What's so offensive about broken down cars?  Typically they get cut up and sold for scrap in short order anyway, what with the price of scrap iron through the roof these days.  I'll take my freedom, thanks anyway.  No one gets to tell me what to do with my property.
 
2013-01-14 02:20:07 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com

STONECREEK! STONECREEK! STONECREEK! STONECREEK!
 
2013-01-14 02:26:58 PM
Hess, who identifies himself as president, treasurer and legal agent of the Stonecreek HOA

That seems like a conflict of interest...

My parent's HOA wasn't too bad. They sure pissed my mom off when she apparently didn't paint her mailbox an "approved color", but she was happy when they made the people down the street re-paint the trim of their house after deciding to go with a godawful pink color. And they also made the guy a couple streets down take down his Christmas decorations cause it was early April. Apprently his wife left him after the holidays or something and that was one of the few things that made him happy. But it was a little excessive (like 5 giant inflatables). He moved 'em into his garage and still inflates them.
 
2013-01-14 02:30:21 PM

nekom: You seriously can't, even in rural areas?


Consider the state.  It's possible, but "rural" means "swamp".  And it's probably a biatch to get hooked up to utilities, services, etc.

I grew up in the sticks in NJ.  That was different.
 
2013-01-14 02:32:03 PM
HOA's are a fantastic example of the idea that power corrupts.
 
2013-01-14 02:33:06 PM
"You stop this article immediately, because I will sue you just like I sue the people who don't pay their dues," he said.

'A powerful tool'


Well, I don't know about powerful, but yes, pretty obviously a tool.
 
2013-01-14 02:35:53 PM
Is Stephen Hess short? I'll bet he's shorter than a great dane.

napoleonireland.com
 
2013-01-14 02:39:11 PM
Who knew Dino MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMM Zaffina became a HOA President?
 
2013-01-14 02:39:24 PM
"You stop this article immediately, because I will sue you just like I sue the people who don't pay their dues," he said.

'A powerful tool'

Heh heh. Got the tool part right.
 
2013-01-14 02:40:37 PM

CapeFearCadaver: Is Stephen Hess short? I'll bet he's shorter than a great dane.

[napoleonireland.com image 418x550]


Napoleon was actually 5'7", quite normal for that day.
 
2013-01-14 02:41:21 PM
Looks like he graduated from the "You can make anything stick in court simply by declaring it to be so in writing!" school of law. He's perfect for an HOA president.
 
2013-01-14 02:44:05 PM

GAT_00: CapeFearCadaver: Is Stephen Hess short? I'll bet he's shorter than a great dane.

[napoleonireland.com image 418x550]

Napoleon was actually 5'7", quite normal for that day.


Lighten up,antspiderbee.net
 
2013-01-14 02:45:29 PM

CapeFearCadaver: GAT_00: CapeFearCadaver: Is Stephen Hess short? I'll bet he's shorter than a great dane.

[napoleonireland.com image 418x550]

Napoleon was actually 5'7", quite normal for that day.

Lighten up,[antspiderbee.net image 721x893]


Lighten up, bacon?  I don't get-....

Oh.
 
2013-01-14 02:56:13 PM
I like how the news site's very next line after reprinting the "don't use the name Stonecreek" email was:

'A powerful tool'

LOL.
 
2013-01-14 03:07:09 PM
Stonecreek, H.O.A. Stonecreek, Hoa Stonecreek HOA
Stonecreek, H.O.A. Stonecreek, Hoa Stonecreek HOA
Stonecreek, H.O.A. Stonecreek, Hoa Stonecreek HOA
Stonecreek, H.O.A. Stonecreek, Hoa Stonecreek HOA
Stonecreek, H.O.A. Stonecreek, Hoa Stonecreek HOA
Stonecreek, H.O.A. Stonecreek, Hoa Stonecreek HOA
Stonecreek, H.O.A. Stonecreek, Hoa Stonecreek HOA
 
2013-01-14 03:09:40 PM

scottydoesntknow: They sure pissed my mom off when she apparently didn't paint her mailbox an "approved color", but she was happy when they made the people down the street re-paint the trim of their house after deciding to go with a godawful pink color.


So your mom is a hypocrite?
 
2013-01-14 03:09:46 PM
Stonecreek, Stonecreek, Streisand...er, Stonecreek.
 
2013-01-14 03:10:55 PM
This needs to be made a proper meme. All nine of you that are on twitter need to hashtag everything #stonecreek
 
2013-01-14 03:11:22 PM

dahmers love zombie: I like how the news site's very next line after reprinting the "don't use the name Stonecreek" email was:

'A powerful tool'

LOL.


Yeah, I love that little "coincidental" heading. Hess does appear to be an appalling pissant of a person.

However, that's what you get when you sign into an HOA - the very real possibility of being forced not just to keep your property in a certain manner, but actually told how you should live portions of your life, too.

If you're stupid enough to sign onto an HOA, you deserve everything you get, honestly. I find it bizarre that HOAs are still prevalent enough, given their abuses over the last two decades, to warrant regular Fark postings about some new petty tyranny related to them.
 
2013-01-14 03:11:49 PM
To do what I please.
To ride the breeze.
I can't stay,
Gotta gotta gotta get away
 
2013-01-14 03:12:19 PM

Diogenes: nekom: You seriously can't, even in rural areas?

Consider the state.  It's possible, but "rural" means "swamp".  And it's probably a biatch to get hooked up to utilities, services, etc.

I grew up in the sticks in NJ.  That was different.


Sticks as in "everything below New Brunswick" or sticks as in "Sussex/Warren county"? Very different type of sticks.
 
2013-01-14 03:13:01 PM

nekom: ajgeek: And people BUY INTO IT!

That's the real puzzling part.  I don't get what the upshot is.  I suppose if you REALLY loved conformity and wanted to live in a neighborhood where the houses all look the same.  Can't really see why it would appeal to anyone.  I've got a pickup truck without plates in my yard just for driving around on my property, I've got two septic tanks still in the ground, I cut my grass when the mood strikes me.  I wouldn't last a week in an HOA environment.


The benefit is that all that conformity causes the property values to go up, or at least not down so much when bad things happen. When your neighbor can't take care of his shiat, it drives down the value on the whole block, so they go after members who drag the carcasses of late model cars up onto their yards and the ones who let their grass get a little shaggy.

I'm not saying that it's worth it, but if you're the kind of person who wants absolute control over every aspect of your life, it might be.
 
2013-01-14 03:13:32 PM
Stonecreek, Stonecreek, Stonecreek, Stonecreek, Stonecreek, Stonecreek, Stonecreek, Stonecreek, Stonecreek, Stonecreek, Stonecreek, Stonecreek, StoneRoses, Stonecreek, Stonecreek, Stonecreek, StoneHammer beer, Stonecreek, Stonecreek, Stonecreek, Stonecreek...


This is fun.
 
2013-01-14 03:13:40 PM

GAT_00: CapeFearCadaver: Is Stephen Hess short? I'll bet he's shorter than a great dane.

[napoleonireland.com image 418x550]

Napoleon was actually 5'7", quite normal for that day.


This is the origin of the short Napoleon myth...

www.napoleonguide.com

It's a cartoon from that era.
 
2013-01-14 03:13:43 PM
HoA's tend to be ran by Tea Party types that get off on their micro-fascist power trips.
 
2013-01-14 03:14:40 PM
I've never lived in an HOA neighborhood. After hearing all these stories I don't think I want to.
 
2013-01-14 03:14:51 PM

Citrate1007: HoA's tend to be ran by Tea Party types that get off on their micro-fascist power trips.


Umm, no. HOAs are liberals, they want to control everything, tax everything, run everything.

Liberals LOVE HOAs. They want to turn the country into a giant HOA.
 
2013-01-14 03:15:34 PM

gilgigamesh: "You stop this article immediately, because I will sue you just like I sue the people who don't pay their dues," he said.

'A powerful tool'

Well, I don't know about powerful, but yes, pretty obviously a tool.


Came to comment on this little part of the article. Masterful work by the editor or writer. Bravo. +1 and all that jazz.
 
2013-01-14 03:16:28 PM
www.nuova.com.hk
 
2013-01-14 03:16:37 PM
In general, I don't like dealing with rules of any kind when I'm in my own home.

I put up with them in school; I put up with them when I'm out in public; I put up with them at work all day...That's enough being told what I can and can't do, as far as I'm concerned.

If it's my property, I'll do what I want.

Screw the HOA!
 
2013-01-14 03:16:53 PM
"Furthermore, this notice also requires you not to at any measure mention anything regarding my name, any resident of Stonecreek, NOR will we ALLOW any of your printing in any article regarding Stonecreek at any time in any publication,"

lol
 
2013-01-14 03:17:21 PM

Elzar: I've lived in an HOA, it was an outrage! My property value didn't go down, my neighbors weren't allowed to park their broke down cars on the front lawn and I wasn't even able to call the cops on my neighbors for them not blasting music into the wee hours of the morning.


You know you can do this literally anywhere, genius.
 
2013-01-14 03:17:43 PM
www.adnkronos.com
 
2013-01-14 03:18:46 PM
FTA: Homes are selling in Stonecreek for generally no more than $155,000, while it is not uncommon for homes at Keystone to sell for $200,000 or more.

Yeah, I'd consider paying a 30% surplus to live in a relaxed 'hood, too.
 
2013-01-14 03:18:49 PM
The rule of Stone Creek is never talk about Stone Creek.
 
2013-01-14 03:19:00 PM
I live in a village within a town, and Village Hall enforces various code violations where they make sense, but are not dicks about it.

They actually do a better job than HOAs. I've snickered out loud at HOA members in Village Hall meetings, even glared at once by one of them over something extremely stupid the HOA was charging him for.
 
2013-01-14 03:19:34 PM

Thunderpipes: Citrate1007: HoA's tend to be ran by Tea Party types that get off on their micro-fascist power trips.

Umm, no. HOAs are liberals, they want to control everything, tax everything, run everything.

Liberals LOVE HOAs. They want to turn the country into a giant HOA.


Guess it depends on what part of the country you live in. Either way they often attract farkwads to their leadership.
 
2013-01-14 03:19:41 PM
Alright, which member of the Douche Hall of Fame also did this? Was it JFP or Dino Zaffina or what?
 
2013-01-14 03:19:53 PM

CapeFearCadaver: Is Stephen Hess short? I'll bet he's shorter than a great dane.

[napoleonireland.com image 418x550]


blogs.laweekly.com
A contender appears!
 
2013-01-14 03:20:02 PM

Elzar: I've lived in an HOA, it was an outrage! My property value didn't go down, my neighbors weren't allowed to park their broke down cars on the front lawn and I wasn't even able to call the cops on my neighbors for them not blasting music into the wee hours of the morning.


I know I mean who wants to get to know their neighbors? To discuss with them like rational adults about neighborhood concerns like broken down cars and loud music. No better to sign away your rights and have other people enforce codes so you can continue to be the farking coward you are.
 
2013-01-14 03:20:21 PM
Screw ALL HOA's. I'll never live in one, period.

/I'll put my dish anywhere I damn well please
 
2013-01-14 03:20:49 PM
i0.kym-cdn.com

Stonecreek, H.O.A.
Stonecreek, H.O.A.
Stonecreek, H.O.A.
Stonecreek, H.O.A.
Stonecreek, H.O.A.
Stonecreek, H.O.A.
Stonecreek, H.O.A.
Stonecreek, H.O.A.
Stonecreek, H.O.A.
Stonecreek, H.O.A.
Stonecreek, H.O.A.
Stonecreek, H.O.A.

 
2013-01-14 03:21:00 PM
Stonecreek. Stonecreek. Stonecreek.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-01-14 03:23:00 PM
I just got done with a fight with my HOA. I get a letter from them telling me that my back gate (which I never use) is broken and to fix it. Now week prior to that the HOA had a big siding project where all the roofs and siding were replaced. Well the crew they hired left a mess in my yard and broke the fence which caused the hinges to bend and the door to fall off. I didnt really give 2 shiats about the door since the wood is mostly rotten anyways and I just propped it up since I never use it. There were lots of phone calls and letters exchanged. I did get an apology from them about the mess left in my yard (woopty doo), but I still had to rehang the door since I had no proof the contractors did it. I filled the screw holes with an epoxy and damn if it is holding better than before. Gotta find the lil nazi that keeps crying about this shiat.
 
2013-01-14 03:23:50 PM
FTA:

"You stop this article immediately, because I will sue you just like I sue the people who don't pay their dues," he said.

'A powerful tool'

assets.diylol.com
 
2013-01-14 03:23:52 PM
These HOA horror stories are largely the exception, not the rule. Most HOAs are run by decent people, and they're set up to ensure that the common areas are maintained and that the mutually-beneficial and agreed-upon covenants are enforced.

We hear these reports and we like to think that all HOAs are run by fascist busybodies in an attempt to create a Stepford Wives neighborhood, but that's by and large just an Internet fantasy.

Having lived in both an HOA and non HOA community, I think that for suburban/town living, I'd go with the HOA 100% of the time, but for rural/country living, no way.
 
2013-01-14 03:24:01 PM
Heh. Poor stupid bastards who live there.

Honestly surprised we don't hear about more HOA guys like that being murdered by a lynch mob.
 
2013-01-14 03:24:14 PM

MisterLoki: "Furthermore, this notice also requires you not to at any measure mention anything regarding my name, any resident of Stonecreek, NOR will we ALLOW any of your printing in any article regarding Stonecreek at any time in any publication,"

lol


He might as well just said "I'm a powerful tool in my own little HOA pond, and I think my perceived authority extends into the real world, so I'm going to issue silly orders to you."

Oh, and, Stonecreek, featuring what I believe to be the dulcet dictatorship of Stephen Heß...excuse me, Hess. Like this is the first time a Hess has issued silly orders.
 
2013-01-14 03:24:37 PM

Fluorescent Testicle: Dino Zaffina


You dropped something, here, let me get it for you...

mairedubhtx.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-01-14 03:25:13 PM
media.giantbomb.com
 
2013-01-14 03:25:30 PM

Lawnchair: FTA: Homes are selling in Stonecreek for generally no more than $155,000, while it is not uncommon for homes at Keystone to sell for $200,000 or more.

Yeah, I'd consider paying a 30% surplus to live in a relaxed 'hood, too.


1) Buy a whole bunch of $155k houses
2) Vote Hess out
3) ???
4) Profit
 
2013-01-14 03:25:33 PM

groppet: Gotta find the lil nazi that keeps crying about this shiat.


www.grindhouse.it

Come at me, biatch!

/seriously, go after him. Use of a brand is not only recommended, but encouraged.
 
2013-01-14 03:25:37 PM

groppet: lil nazi


you live in IL?
Cause I HATE those lil il nazis.
 
2013-01-14 03:25:41 PM

FormlessOne: dahmers love zombie: I like how the news site's very next line after reprinting the "don't use the name Stonecreek" email was:

'A powerful tool'

LOL.

Yeah, I love that little "coincidental" heading. Hess does appear to be an appalling pissant of a person.

However, that's what you get when you sign into an HOA - the very real possibility of being forced not just to keep your property in a certain manner, but actually told how you should live portions of your life, too.

If you're stupid enough to sign onto an HOA, you deserve everything you get, honestly. I find it bizarre that HOAs are still prevalent enough, given their abuses over the last two decades, to warrant regular Fark postings about some new petty tyranny related to them.


it's best to keep the dooshbags all in one hen house. if we could keep them out of the supermarket life would be bliss.

/ big fat shopper
 
2013-01-14 03:25:50 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: These HOA horror stories are largely the exception, not the rule. Most HOAs are run by decent people, and they're set up to ensure that the common areas are maintained and that the mutually-beneficial and agreed-upon covenants are enforced.

We hear these reports and we like to think that all HOAs are run by fascist busybodies in an attempt to create a Stepford Wives neighborhood, but that's by and large just an Internet fantasy.

Having lived in both an HOA and non HOA community, I think that for suburban/town living, I'd go with the HOA 100% of the time, but for rural/country living, no way.


Your anecdotal advice is no more valid.
 
2013-01-14 03:25:58 PM

CapeFearCadaver: You dropped something, here, let me get it for you...


Nope, that was deliberate. He gets no resmpect from me. :)
 
2013-01-14 03:26:21 PM

Koalaesq: Diogenes: nekom: You seriously can't, even in rural areas?

Consider the state.  It's possible, but "rural" means "swamp".  And it's probably a biatch to get hooked up to utilities, services, etc.

I grew up in the sticks in NJ.  That was different.

Sticks as in "everything below New Brunswick" or sticks as in "Sussex/Warren county"? Very different type of sticks.


Hunterdon County.  Alexandria Township.  I used to hunt in my back yard.
 
2013-01-14 03:27:43 PM
4.bp.blogspot.com
RIGHT.... who threw that?

"Well, he DID say 'Stonecreek'..."
 
2013-01-14 03:27:56 PM
Wait . . . is this article about STONECREEK?
 
2013-01-14 03:28:32 PM
i171.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-14 03:28:43 PM
the100.ru

♪♫ Stonecreek do what I pleasee
Stonecreek I can't stay
Stonecreek I got to I got to get away ♪♫
 
2013-01-14 03:28:47 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: These HOA horror stories are largely the exception, not the rule. Most HOAs are run by decent people, and they're set up to ensure that the common areas are maintained and that the mutually-beneficial and agreed-upon covenants are enforced.

We hear these reports and we like to think that all HOAs are run by fascist busybodies in an attempt to create a Stepford Wives neighborhood, but that's by and large just an Internet fantasy.

Having lived in both an HOA and non HOA community, I think that for suburban/town living, I'd go with the HOA 100% of the time, but for rural/country living, no way.


Me? Not a friggin' chance. An HOA is a deal-killer for me. The problem is that the HOA may be all decent and useful now, but later, when houses change hands and suddenly the nastiest folks in the neighborhood have staged a 'coup', for lack of a better term, and are now running the show, the HOA can become a problem later.

Much easier to buy into a non-HOA community and not worry about it, than buy into an HOA community knowing that you'll have to participate in an ersatz local government just to ensure it doesn't get taken over by the neighborhood Nazi.
 
2013-01-14 03:29:17 PM

ajgeek: I swear to god HOAs are lawyers collective attempt to become ruler of their own little country. And people BUY INTO IT!

/you could pay me to live in an HOA
//it would have to be a lot of money, but you could pay me.


So apparently like 49/300 didn't pay their dues...

Well, correct me if I'm wrong, you can simply vote to DISSOLVE the HOA, right?

LOL but you'd probably have to pay your dues to it first, to be able to vote against it...
 
2013-01-14 03:29:18 PM

Diogenes: Koalaesq: Diogenes: nekom: You seriously can't, even in rural areas?

Consider the state.  It's possible, but "rural" means "swamp".  And it's probably a biatch to get hooked up to utilities, services, etc.

I grew up in the sticks in NJ.  That was different.

Sticks as in "everything below New Brunswick" or sticks as in "Sussex/Warren county"? Very different type of sticks.

Hunterdon County.  Alexandria Township.  I used to hunt in my back yard.


Dang. Hunterdon makes Sussex County look like the Bronx. It's gorgeous, though. I love traveling out there for clients.
 
2013-01-14 03:30:11 PM

Fluorescent Testicle: CapeFearCadaver: You dropped something, here, let me get it for you...

Nope, that was deliberate. He gets no resmpect from me. :)


Car at my work parking lot has one of those "Respect" bumper stickers, about respecting all religions/spiritualities... every time I see it I think "ResMpect" and get a little giggle :)
 
2013-01-14 03:30:12 PM
 
2013-01-14 03:30:16 PM
"Furthermore, this notice also requires you not to at any measure mention anything regarding my name, any resident of Stonecreek, NOR will we ALLOW any of your printing in any article regarding Stonecreek at any time in any publication," the message stated. "You will be held liable for any violations of this letter and notice/request in this email. If we find/discover you have mentioned Stonecreek in any legal matter their (sic) will be action toward yourself as well as any print paper you represent in the media article.

Bite my ass and choke on it, you deranged control freak.

"You stop this article immediately, because I will sue you just like I sue the people who don't pay their dues," he said.
- HOA President and professional douchbag Stephen Hess, Stonecreek Arbors Homeowners Association.
 
2013-01-14 03:30:17 PM
I don't mind our HOA.  We're a neighborhood of townhouses and the HOA takes care of mowing, watering, and aerating our front lawns (and maintain any front yard trees or bushes).  This year they repainted all the homes and check our trim and roofs every year for damage.  The HOA also maintains a few little parks for the kids and picnic shelters.

Our HOA also belongs to a larger professional group that runs dozens HOAs around the city, so maybe that protects us from them turning into mini-fiefdoms and instead they get shiat done?
 
2013-01-14 03:30:38 PM

nekom: Diogenes: I don't know what it's like elsewhere, but here in Central Florida (and I believe the majority of the rest of the state) you can't avoid them. You'd never find a house if you won't accept an HOA.

Mine is OK. Which is surprising because we have alot of cranky old folks.

You seriously can't, even in rural areas?  It's much the opposite here, I've never heard of any HOAs here, at least not in any of the old towns, maybe some newer developments have them.

Elzar: I've lived in an HOA, it was an outrage! My property value didn't go down, my neighbors weren't allowed to park their broke down cars on the front lawn and I wasn't even able to call the cops on my neighbors for them not blasting music into the wee hours of the morning.

The alley behind my house is strewn with vehicles in various states of operation and disrepair.  What's so offensive about broken down cars?  Typically they get cut up and sold for scrap in short order anyway, what with the price of scrap iron through the roof these days.  I'll take my freedom, thanks anyway.  No one gets to tell me what to do with my property.


That's your right, then. But if you are buying into a HOA community you are choosing to waive some of those rights for certain securities, such as ensuring your property value in relation to those in the area (which typically results in stable, or increasing, values) along with assurances that most nuisances are able to be addressed in a reasonable fashion. Most successful HOAs also are able to negotiate for lower costs for many things, from utilities to lawncare, simply by representing a larger share of land. In some cases, HOAs can petition to prevent local townships from annexing them and remain County Land, which can keep taxes down substantially while ensuring a similar quality of local planning than they would have had under a local ordinance from the township.

The problem with HOAs is a lot like the problem with Monarchies. A benevolent Monarchy is the most effective and productive government there is. It is also the easiest to become a petty tyranny (and often does).

That said, where possible I would avoid HOAs in the post 2007 recession world because now that the majority of houses are underwater or empty in Suburbia those fees are going to go up and tensions will increase with them.
 
2013-01-14 03:30:50 PM
My previous house was in a HOA neighborhood of epic proportions, we're talking 11,000+ residents. On the upside the sheer size of the thing insured it ran more as a local government entity than a petty fiefdom. My current neighborhood is much smaller scale and the only drama of late was when the tight-fisted HOA president refused to approve funds for a bouncy castle at the Fall picnic.
 
2013-01-14 03:30:59 PM
My take on HOAs when they actually serve a real purpose, like my current home, where the dues pay for all exterior maintenance, landscaping, community pool, and tennis courts, they are a good idea. When they serve no purpose , like my last home, where the dues paid for landscaping the entrance and nothing else and sending you a letter stating your mailbox is faded, they are a haven for neighborhood tyrants.
 
2013-01-14 03:31:22 PM

Nabb1: Step one: let the petty tyrants sue you.
Step two: seek attorneys fees when you bounce their frivolous suit right out of court.
Step three: record the judgment for attorneys fees and slap a lien on their house.
Step four: LOL.


The website you got your law degree from, do they let you print the diploma from the site or do they email it to you?
 
2013-01-14 03:31:37 PM
My HOA has taken me to court three times to get me to take down my "prohibited" DirecTV dish.  FCC law specifically prohibits homeowner's associations from banning DSS dishes.  HOA: "FCC laws do not apply to us."  Court: "Uhm, yes they do."

Well, long story short, I've won all three times, but can't get the court to award me legal fees. So, every couple of years, I'm out $3k in legal fees to keep my DirecTV dish.

//gotta have NFL Sunday Ticket
///go Steelers
////next year
 
2013-01-14 03:31:40 PM
So the paper mocks these knuckleheads for saying they're not allowed to comment on them, yet they disable comments on their own article, doing to the public what the HOA tried to do to them?

Did I miss anything?
 
2013-01-14 03:31:47 PM
I know it's not fashionable but for every anecdote about a bad HOA there's probably a thousand or more HOAs that are perfectly fine. I like mine. They keep my neighbors from being trailer trash. Once mine sent me a letter telling me I should get my trim repainted, but I knew it was starting to look like shiat and was planning to do it anyways. I'm cool with that.
 
2013-01-14 03:31:57 PM

DanZero: It's showwwwwwwwwwwwtime!


Damn, I didn't realize it was Done in One.
 
2013-01-14 03:32:03 PM

Thunderpipes: Citrate1007: HoA's tend to be ran by Tea Party types that get off on their micro-fascist power trips.

Umm, no. HOAs are liberals, they want to control everything, tax everything, run everything.

Liberals LOVE HOAs. They want to turn the country into a giant HOA.


I'm a Liberal, and I wouldn't join an HOA to save my life.
 
2013-01-14 03:32:06 PM

Thunderpipes: Citrate1007: HoA's tend to be ran by Tea Party types that get off on their micro-fascist power trips.

Umm, no. HOAs are liberals, they want to control everything, tax everything, run everything.

Liberals LOVE HOAs. They want to turn the country into a giant HOA.


oh, no's!
 
2013-01-14 03:33:06 PM
HOAs are only trying to protect the greater good.
 
2013-01-14 03:33:34 PM

machodonkeywrestler: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: These HOA horror stories are largely the exception, not the rule. Most HOAs are run by decent people, and they're set up to ensure that the common areas are maintained and that the mutually-beneficial and agreed-upon covenants are enforced.

We hear these reports and we like to think that all HOAs are run by fascist busybodies in an attempt to create a Stepford Wives neighborhood, but that's by and large just an Internet fantasy.

Having lived in both an HOA and non HOA community, I think that for suburban/town living, I'd go with the HOA 100% of the time, but for rural/country living, no way.

Your anecdotal advice is no more valid.


I wasn't really giving advice. Maybe the vast majority of HOAs are horrible, and I and everyone I've known who has ever lived in one has just lucked out? It's possible, but in my opinion it's more likely that HOAs serve the interests of their residents well, and their Internet reputation is largely a myth. I could be wrong.
 
2013-01-14 03:34:27 PM

GAT_00: CapeFearCadaver: Is Stephen Hess short? I'll bet he's shorter than a great dane.

[napoleonireland.com image 418x550]

Napoleon was actually 5'7", quite normal for that day.


You sound short.

/and not at all normal
 
2013-01-14 03:35:22 PM
"Furthermore, this notice also requires you not to at any measure mention anything regarding my name, any resident of Stonecreek, NOR will we ALLOW any of your printing in any article regarding Stonecreek at any time in any publication," the message stated. "You will be held liable for any violations of this letter and notice/request in this email. If we find/discover you have mentioned Stonecreek in any legal matter their (sic) will be action toward yourself as well as any print paper you represent in the media article.

"You may contact any HOA in the County of Vanderburgh, the State of Indiana, but Stonecreek will not PERMIT OR ALLOW YOU our legal name in any future article."


assets.flavorwire.com

Truly, you have a dizzying intellect...

"violations of this letter"?? Since when has your letter been capable of establishing law?

I'll violate your letter. I'll tear off your letter's envelope and throw it to the ground, and ravish it over and over and....
 
2013-01-14 03:36:15 PM
I am the president of my building's HOA. I think I do a pretty good job here, and I don't even live in the building (converted our condo to an office for my CPA practice). The association pays me a monthly stipend because my wife and I act like part-time managers. In the entire 15 year lifespan of our HOA, no one has ever run against me. Not everyone likes me because when you have a bunch of different people that have differing opinions about the way things should be done, disagreements are inevitable. But I believe everyone here thinks I'm fair, which I am. Not all HOAs are run by petty, vindictive people.
 
2013-01-14 03:37:13 PM

LaraAmber: I don't mind our HOA.  We're a neighborhood of townhouses and the HOA takes care of mowing, watering, and aerating our front lawns (and maintain any front yard trees or bushes).  This year they repainted all the homes and check our trim and roofs every year for damage.  The HOA also maintains a few little parks for the kids and picnic shelters.

Our HOA also belongs to a larger professional group that runs dozens HOAs around the city, so maybe that protects us from them turning into mini-fiefdoms and instead they get shiat done?


Your experience falls in line with mine, and everyone I've ever known who has lived in an HOA. I think most people who malign HOAs have little first hand knowledge of them outside of Internet threads. That or they had one bad experience and decided that all HOAs were mini dictatorships.
 
2013-01-14 03:38:08 PM

miltoncharles: My HOA has taken me to court three times to get me to take down my "prohibited" DirecTV dish.  FCC law specifically prohibits homeowner's associations from banning DSS dishes.  HOA: "FCC laws do not apply to us."  Court: "Uhm, yes they do."

Well, long story short, I've won all three times, but can't get the court to award me legal fees. So, every couple of years, I'm out $3k in legal fees to keep my DirecTV dish.

//gotta have NFL Sunday Ticket
///go Steelers
////next year


Dude......really? Is this a separate lawsuit where you tried to recoup your money, or is it the legal action by the HOA that doesn't give you the money?
 
2013-01-14 03:38:17 PM

Tom_Slick: My take on HOAs when they actually serve a real purpose, like my current home, where the dues pay for all exterior maintenance, landscaping, community pool, and tennis courts, they are a good idea. When they serve no purpose , like my last home, where the dues paid for landscaping the entrance and nothing else and sending you a letter stating your mailbox is faded, they are a haven for neighborhood tyrants.


2.bp.blogspot.com

SEMPER FIDELIS TYRANNOSAURUS!!!
 
2013-01-14 03:39:02 PM

Zarquon's Flat Tire: I've never lived in an HOA neighborhood. After hearing all these stories I don't think I want to.


It's about the same as the danger of letting your kids walk down the street to a friend's house by themselves. They won't get kidnapped, but if you listen to the media reports of child abductions, it seems like the craziest thing to let your kids walk around on their own.

We've been living in an HOA for 12 years, and I prefer it. The homes don't all look the same -- maybe 1:15 ratio of shared elevations in small sections of the neighborhood, but still different materials and colors. Streets all curve, so you can't see far down any of them. The construction crews left large numbers of native oaks during construction, so we have a nice canopy that covers much of the neighborhood.

One year, they asked us to move our trash cans out of sight of the street when it wasn't trash day.

The horror.
 
2013-01-14 03:39:22 PM

nekom: ajgeek: And people BUY INTO IT!

That's the real puzzling part.  I don't get what the upshot is.  I suppose if you REALLY loved conformity and wanted to live in a neighborhood where the houses all look the same.  Can't really see why it would appeal to anyone.  I've got a pickup truck without plates in my yard just for driving around on my property, I've got two septic tanks still in the ground, I cut my grass when the mood strikes me.  I wouldn't last a week in an HOA environment.


Farkers that defend hoas typically tell you that if you don't have an hoa, all your neighbors will let the grass get ten feet tall, leave rusting cars and dead dogs on their front lawn, and paint their house plaid with a middle finger pointed at your bedroom window.
 
2013-01-14 03:39:43 PM
If the idiots don't want to pay HOA fees, the idiots shouldn't have bought a house in the subdivision in the first place. Maybe they should go and build their castle in a swamp.
 
2013-01-14 03:39:45 PM

miltoncharles: Well, long story short, I've won all three times, but can't get the court to award me legal fees. So, every couple of years, I'm out $3k in legal fees to keep my DirecTV dish.


A few years ago when people were making the switch to HD with Directv the installer came through and add the new dish to the homes that had it, they did not take down the old round dishes, we all got letters stating, "All Satellite Dishes not in use must be removed by X date the HOA will have a contractor in the area to remove the dish if the homeowner would like assistance on X date." I thought wow seems reasonable, but someone took them to court and apparently you can't force people to remove dishes not in use even when paying for the labor. They never tried again.
 
2013-01-14 03:40:22 PM
"Furthermore, this notice also requires you not to at any measure mention anything regarding my name, any resident of Stonecreek, NOR will we ALLOW any of your printing in any article regarding Stonecreek at any time in any publication," the message stated. "You will be held liable for any violations of this letter and notice/request in this email. If we find/discover you have mentioned Stonecreek in any legal matter their (sic) will be action toward yourself as well as any print paper you represent in the media article."

Is it just me, or does this read like some sort of Sovereign Citizen derp?
 
2013-01-14 03:41:08 PM

Satanic_Hamster: Honestly surprised we don't hear about more HOA guys like that being murdered by a lynch mob


Does anyone have any extra bags?
 
2013-01-14 03:41:08 PM

Oznog: ajgeek: I swear to god HOAs are lawyers collective attempt to become ruler of their own little country. And people BUY INTO IT!

/you could pay me to live in an HOA
//it would have to be a lot of money, but you could pay me.

So apparently like 49/300 didn't pay their dues...

Well, correct me if I'm wrong, you can simply vote to DISSOLVE the HOA, right?

LOL but you'd probably have to pay your dues to it first, to be able to vote against it...


The way most of these things are typically structured, you need a majority of everybody in the neighborhood, not just everybody that shows up to a meeting to do that. And developers often retain a 51% share in the association even after the properties have been sold, just so they can control if absolutely necessary- like some asshole who wants to get rid of the HOA, destroying their good name as a builder by allowing people to park on the street.

Basically, the developers have their lawyers make dissolving an HOA practically impossible. You can overthrow the leadership, but there really aren't any legal protections for average homeowners.
 
2013-01-14 03:41:18 PM
Hey, whats going on in.....hold on a sec

*runs outside, pees off the porch*

Sorry, had to run to the bathroom

/conserving water
//country livin'
 
2013-01-14 03:41:51 PM

Zarquon's Flat Tire: I've never lived in an HOA neighborhood. After hearing all these stories I don't think I want to.


It's all about the people who run the HOA. My house is in a very small HOA (
I think problems would be more likely, however, with larger HOAs, where it's more likely to run into the "dictator" types and where you lose the personalization and "everyone knows everyone" that you have with smaller neighborhoods.
 
2013-01-14 03:42:06 PM

FormlessOne: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: These HOA horror stories are largely the exception, not the rule. Most HOAs are run by decent people, and they're set up to ensure that the common areas are maintained and that the mutually-beneficial and agreed-upon covenants are enforced.

We hear these reports and we like to think that all HOAs are run by fascist busybodies in an attempt to create a Stepford Wives neighborhood, but that's by and large just an Internet fantasy.

Having lived in both an HOA and non HOA community, I think that for suburban/town living, I'd go with the HOA 100% of the time, but for rural/country living, no way.

Me? Not a friggin' chance. An HOA is a deal-killer for me. The problem is that the HOA may be all decent and useful now, but later, when houses change hands and suddenly the nastiest folks in the neighborhood have staged a 'coup', for lack of a better term, and are now running the show, the HOA can become a problem later.

Much easier to buy into a non-HOA community and not worry about it, than buy into an HOA community knowing that you'll have to participate in an ersatz local government just to ensure it doesn't get taken over by the neighborhood Nazi.


Pretty much this.

While I do realize that HOA's do serve a purpose for people who want to live in a controlled environment, they are pretty much a crap shoot that can ruin the enjoyment of your home. First of all you really can't be sure what you are getting into with one until you after you have purchased your home and have had official contact with them. Also just like FormlessOne said your HOA can go from being a nice non intrusive entity into being a bunch of Nazi in the blink of an eye.

So for me, I'd rather just live in a non HOA area and just cut the potential for any of that type of drama completely out. There are plenty other things to have to deal with and worry about regarding home ownership, rather or not your HOA is making or will make your life hell in the future shouldn't be one of them.
 
2013-01-14 03:42:25 PM
Saw this article earlier today and wondered how long it would take to show up on fark...

Our house has deed restrictions because we're not in a city or town. The reason deed restrictions are superior to an HOA is because they can never be changed. Ours has set restrictions such as no livestock, no turning your single family home into a duplex, no hoarding pets, ask the review board before you add on or do something crazy to the exterior of your house (paint colors excluded, as some of our neighbors' houses attest to). That's basically it, IIRC. No petty dictator can take over and make everybody's landscaping have purple flowers or something, and they don't have the power to foreclose or charge fees. It's more about making sure that the property use stays the same rather than worrying about how high the grass is or if your garage doors are an approved color, much as a city or town has zoning laws.

I have a friend who has monthly battles with his HOA, but he seems get a perverse level of enjoyment out of it. I have no interest in ever dealing with that.
 
2013-01-14 03:42:42 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: LaraAmber: I don't mind our HOA.  We're a neighborhood of townhouses and the HOA takes care of mowing, watering, and aerating our front lawns (and maintain any front yard trees or bushes).  This year they repainted all the homes and check our trim and roofs every year for damage.  The HOA also maintains a few little parks for the kids and picnic shelters.

Our HOA also belongs to a larger professional group that runs dozens HOAs around the city, so maybe that protects us from them turning into mini-fiefdoms and instead they get shiat done?

Your experience falls in line with mine, and everyone I've ever known who has lived in an HOA. I think most people who malign HOAs have little first hand knowledge of them outside of Internet threads. That or they had one bad experience and decided that all HOAs were mini dictatorships.


the HOA of my condo complex is pretty good, including doing things like negotiating for a second recycling station (still working on that), amortizing roof repairs and building repainting over several years, and getting rid of farking ugly 16' high banana plants and motorized inflated cats in common spaces.

/Your ugly plants and yard art, take them inside.
 
2013-01-14 03:42:47 PM
Someone named Hess with delusions of grandeur and a penchant for the tyrannical? Colour me shocked.
 
2013-01-14 03:43:13 PM
I'm glad our HOA is inactive. Neighbors take care of their stuff and I take care of mine. Nice and friendly.
 
2013-01-14 03:44:41 PM

jamesmusik: They put up a phone call with the guy. It's pure genius.

http://www.courierpress.com/videos/detail/a-conversation-with-stonec re ek-hoa-president-steph/


Holy crap, I would have ripped into that idiot HOA guy after about 60 seconds of that crap. Or at least laughed at the idiot.
 
2013-01-14 03:45:23 PM

Koalaesq: Diogenes: nekom: You seriously can't, even in rural areas?

Consider the state.  It's possible, but "rural" means "swamp".  And it's probably a biatch to get hooked up to utilities, services, etc.

I grew up in the sticks in NJ.  That was different.

Sticks as in "everything below New Brunswick" or sticks as in "Sussex/Warren county"? Very different type of sticks.


Hey, c'mon. There's plenty of sticks in Hunterdon County as well. The road I grew up on didn't get paved until I was in high school.
 
2013-01-14 03:45:37 PM
I've owned houses in two areas without HOAs, and one with them. The one with an HOA (the current one) is a much nicer place to live.

Without an HOA, I've dealt with neighbors who:

- had a garage sale every Fri, Sat and Sun.
- one who built a stone monstrosity in their backyard and topped it with a full sized Teepee
-people who so badly maintained their outbuildings that the termites collapsed them
-even people who expressed their creativity by painting trippy murals on their fence
-and, of course, loud music, yelling, parties, etc at all times of day and night.

I'm sure every homeowner has their own nightmare neighbor stories. Yes, an HOA can be missued by petty tyrants (Stonecreek) but with decent people, they protect the interests of the decent people.
 
2013-01-14 03:46:37 PM

jamesmusik: They put up a phone call with the guy. It's pure genius.

http://www.courierpress.com/videos/detail/a-conversation-with-stonec re ek-hoa-president-steph/


Wow.

Stonecreek HOA president Stephen Hess is lividly pissed that they have betrayed his request.

Stonecreek HOA president Stephen Hess is an ignorant jackass.
 
2013-01-14 03:46:40 PM

Diogenes: nekom: ajgeek: And people BUY INTO IT!

That's the real puzzling part.  I don't get what the upshot is.

I don't know what it's like elsewhere, but here in Central Florida (and I believe the majority of the rest of the state) you can't avoid them.  You'd never find a house if you won't accept an HOA.

Mine is OK.  Which is surprising because we have alot of cranky old folks.



Plenty of non-HOA land left in Central FL. We just left a HOA hellhole in Clermont and purchased five acres in Polk City. Hell, I have a free standing workshop now that I can use at 4 am, the kids can play baseball, football and soccer without the HOA complaining their in the street. I can even shoot on my property whenever the mood strikes. And guess what? There aren't trash piles and cars on blocks at the neighbors. Everyone keeps their property up. Most of us have animals such as horses and cows. Suck it HOA goons. Never again!
 
2013-01-14 03:47:02 PM

Private_Citizen: I'm sure every homeowner has their own nightmare neighbor stories. Yes, an HOA can be missued by petty tyrants (Stonecreek) but with decent people, they protect the interests of the decent people.


In most cases, the tyrants are easy to depose - it isn't as if any of the other homeowners like them. Just go to meetings and usurp them.
 
2013-01-14 03:47:04 PM

MmmmBacon: Thunderpipes: Citrate1007: HoA's tend to be ran by Tea Party types that get off on their micro-fascist power trips.

Umm, no. HOAs are liberals, they want to control everything, tax everything, run everything.

Liberals LOVE HOAs. They want to turn the country into a giant HOA.

I'm a Liberal, and I wouldn't join an HOA to save my life.


Likewise. Liberals tend to dislike petty authoritarian dickheads.
 
2013-01-14 03:47:16 PM
I have a dream that one day I will buy the lot next to a planned community with a HOA. They will have white houses with black doors and mailboxes in the same shade of brown all 34.25 inches from the ground. My house will be painted two colors and the door will have large polka dots and the mailbox will be something I made while learning to weld. When they look at me the will see the freedom they can never taste
 
2013-01-14 03:47:23 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: These HOA horror stories are largely the exception, not the rule. Most HOAs are run by decent people, and they're set up to ensure that the common areas are maintained and that the mutually-beneficial and agreed-upon covenants are enforced.

We hear these reports and we like to think that all HOAs are run by fascist busybodies in an attempt to create a Stepford Wives neighborhood, but that's by and large just an Internet fantasy.

Having lived in both an HOA and non HOA community, I think that for suburban/town living, I'd go with the HOA 100% of the time, but for rural/country living, no way.


I agree. Especially for single-building places like downtown condos, someone has to take care of the common area maintenance, the bookkeeping, the improvements, and all that. It's 98%* tedium for the people who do it, but it keeps the place from devolving into a shiathole.

* 2% excitement, like finding ankle-deep sewage in the boiler room due to a clogged pipe (don't flush tampons pls), or having to call the fire dept and cops due to a dead and decomposing body of one of the residents that no one's seen in a while.
 
2013-01-14 03:47:32 PM
Its simple folks.

If you are buying a home, always ask up front if there is a HOA. If there is, don't buy it. Period. Don't even consider it.

The only thing that gets to say what you can and cannot do on your own property is what the lot is zoned for. Beyond that, what you do on your own property is your own damned business (long as its legal).
 
2013-01-14 03:47:41 PM
HOA. No. Farkin'. Way.

When I was house shopping early spring 2012, I (well, my realotor) did find a very reasonably priced, well kept, good neighborhood, etc etc home that I really, really REALLY liked. Made the appointment and went to look at it , and bless the seller, right there on the kitchen table was a copy of the HOA rules as they stood for 2012. I didn't even read them, didn't waste any more of the realtor's time, just an "I'm sorry I'm no longer interested". No HOA.


/purchased an adorable 2 bed/2 bath ranch for the cats
//I thought it was mine, but it's theirs really.
 
2013-01-14 03:47:44 PM

Diogenes: nekom: ajgeek: And people BUY INTO IT!

That's the real puzzling part.  I don't get what the upshot is.

I don't know what it's like elsewhere, but here in Central Florida (and I believe the majority of the rest of the state) you can't avoid them.  You'd never find a house if you won't accept an HOA.

Mine is OK.  Which is surprising because we have alot of cranky old folks.


Depends on where you live. We live in unincorporated Lee County, FL and we've looked at many houses without HOAs. We've also looked in the Kissimmee/Poinciana area and it seems there that the whole county is one big HOA.

Our previous home was in an HOA and the restrictions there were typical HOAish, but our house was in the bottom of a small valley at the end of a cul-de-sac so you would have had to actually come onto the property, go through locked fences, and go around the house to see my "illegal" antennas.
 
2013-01-14 03:48:15 PM
Time to look into the next election of Home Owner Association officers.
 
2013-01-14 03:48:16 PM

OBBN: Plenty of non-HOA land left in Central FL. We just left a HOA hellhole in Clermont and purchased five acres in Polk City. Hell, I have a free standing workshop now that I can use at 4 am, the kids can play baseball, football and soccer without the HOA complaining their in the street. I can even shoot on my property whenever the mood strikes. And guess what? There aren't trash piles and cars on blocks at the neighbors. Everyone keeps their property up. Most of us have animals such as horses and cows. Suck it HOA goons. Never again!


HOAs aren't because neighborhoods suck right now (why buy there if it does?)
HOAs are because no neighborhood remains the same.
 
2013-01-14 03:48:19 PM
My dad lives is one and Christ the stories. "WAA! My precious properties will go down if your grass is a centimeter high! No I can't tell but let me get my ruler".
 
2013-01-14 03:48:21 PM

Fano: nekom: ajgeek: And people BUY INTO IT!

That's the real puzzling part.  I don't get what the upshot is.  I suppose if you REALLY loved conformity and wanted to live in a neighborhood where the houses all look the same.  Can't really see why it would appeal to anyone.  I've got a pickup truck without plates in my yard just for driving around on my property, I've got two septic tanks still in the ground, I cut my grass when the mood strikes me.  I wouldn't last a week in an HOA environment.

Farkers that defend hoas typically tell you that if you don't have an hoa, all your neighbors will let the grass get ten feet tall, leave rusting cars and dead dogs on their front lawn, and paint their house plaid with a middle finger pointed at your bedroom window.


Really? Seems kinda like the opposite to me, where you have a few people saying "You know, my HOA is actually pretty decent, but to each his own" and the rest of the people saying "fark HOAs! I've never lived in one and I never will! God damn nazis!"

If anyone seems to be exaggerating for dramatic effect, it's the anti-HOA folks.
 
2013-01-14 03:49:26 PM

Fano: Farkers that defend hoas typically tell you that if you don't have an hoa, all your neighbors will let the grass get ten feet tall, leave rusting cars and dead dogs on their front lawn, and paint their house plaid with a middle finger pointed at your bedroom window.


Hey, my grass only gets to about 1.5 feet tall at the most!

And that car isn't rusted, and it still runs, it just needs some work (actually trying to sell it).

Plus, it's not my fault the dogs want to drag deer carcasses into the front yard and chew on them. I use the bones to make totems to ward of evil spirits.

And I will fix my mailbox eventually, after I get my neighbor to admit that he hit it with his combine and pay for it!

/this is all true, except for the totems part, but I am thinking about using them in a Halloween costume next year. Other then that, I keep the place pretty tidy.
//has no visible neighbors
 
2013-01-14 03:49:30 PM

Elzar: I've lived in an HOA, it was an outrage! My property value didn't go down, my neighbors weren't allowed to park their broke down cars on the front lawn and I wasn't even able to call the cops on my neighbors for them not blasting music into the wee hours of the morning.


I don't pay an HOA, and that happens to me all the time. My property has appreciated, my neighbors are so quiet it's almost spooky, and if anyone can hear music, it's me.
 
2013-01-14 03:50:25 PM
What do anti-HOA people have against local government?
 
2013-01-14 03:50:31 PM
When you take title to the property, you take title subject to everything of record regarding that property, and those covenants and restrictions would be an item of record," Frank said. "Bylaws are voted on by lot owners, so if they already are implemented at the time you buy your lot, then you know there's an association and you can get a copy of those before you purchase it. It's just due diligence."

The information is available in the Recorder's Office in Room 231 of the Civic Center in Downtown Evansville.


You can't miss the room, it's a disused lavatory with a sign on the door reading "Beware of the leopard."
 
2013-01-14 03:50:34 PM

Private_Citizen: Without an HOA, I've dealt with neighbors who:

- had a garage sale every Fri, Sat and Sun.
- one who built a stone monstrosity in their backyard and topped it with a full sized Teepee
-people who so badly maintained their outbuildings that the termites collapsed them
-even people who expressed their creativity by painting trippy murals on their fence
-and, of course, loud music, yelling, parties, etc at all times of day and night.


Well I'm glad you moved out of the ghetto but all non-HOA neighborhoods are like that.
 
2013-01-14 03:50:41 PM
Wow, the Stonecreek HOA president is a colossal douchebag.
 
2013-01-14 03:51:09 PM

Private_Citizen: I've owned houses in two areas without HOAs, and one with them. The one with an HOA (the current one) is a much nicer place to live.

Without an HOA, I've dealt with neighbors who:

- had a garage sale every Fri, Sat and Sun.
- one who built a stone monstrosity in their backyard and topped it with a full sized Teepee
-people who so badly maintained their outbuildings that the termites collapsed them
-even people who expressed their creativity by painting trippy murals on their fence
-and, of course, loud music, yelling, parties, etc at all times of day and night.


And none of that is your business except for the last one, which you deal with by calling the cops and filing a noise complaint.

If somebody wants to paint their house neon pink with mint green polkadots, its their house and thats their right.
 
2013-01-14 03:51:10 PM

miltoncharles: My HOA has taken me to court three times to get me to take down my "prohibited" DirecTV dish.  FCC law specifically prohibits homeowner's associations from banning DSS dishes.  HOA: "FCC laws do not apply to us."  Court: "Uhm, yes they do."

Well, long story short, I've won all three times, but can't get the court to award me legal fees. So, every couple of years, I'm out $3k in legal fees to keep my DirecTV dish.

//gotta have NFL Sunday Ticket
///go Steelers
////next year


How do they keep getting to take you back to court? I'd hand them a copy of the last three rulings along with the FCC rules and tell em to fark off..

You should be a dick and put a big old uhf/vhf antenna on your roof too, those are covered under the same FCC laws. :)
 
2013-01-14 03:51:50 PM
A homeowners association is unnecessary (for the most part). Home owners can agree to restrictive covenants that are attached to deeds and hire an attorney to enforce them. Each homeowner pays a small fee into a fund to retain the attorney. A homeowner in violation of the covenants must pay the attorney's fees for any action he/she must take. Homeowners can get together and vote on variance requests and changes to the covenants. They don't need elected leaders. HOAs are not even needed in municipalities with good zoning and land use regulations, but they can be a blessing in places where such regulations are weak or non-existent. All it takes to understand this is to live next to some fool who refuses to take care of his house and fills his yard with garbage and there's nothing you can do about it.
 
2013-01-14 03:52:17 PM
If you buy a home covered by an HOA you deserve to be abused.
 
2013-01-14 03:52:30 PM

Edymnion: Private_Citizen: I've owned houses in two areas without HOAs, and one with them. The one with an HOA (the current one) is a much nicer place to live.

Without an HOA, I've dealt with neighbors who:

- had a garage sale every Fri, Sat and Sun.
- one who built a stone monstrosity in their backyard and topped it with a full sized Teepee
-people who so badly maintained their outbuildings that the termites collapsed them
-even people who expressed their creativity by painting trippy murals on their fence
-and, of course, loud music, yelling, parties, etc at all times of day and night.

And none of that is your business except for the last one, which you deal with by calling the cops and filing a noise complaint.

If somebody wants to paint their house neon pink with mint green polkadots, its their house and thats their right.


Unless they bought a house under an HOA covenant, in which case they never had that right to begin with. Which is the entire point.
 
2013-01-14 03:52:49 PM

mjones73: miltoncharles: My HOA has taken me to court three times to get me to take down my "prohibited" DirecTV dish.  FCC law specifically prohibits homeowner's associations from banning DSS dishes.  HOA: "FCC laws do not apply to us."  Court: "Uhm, yes they do."

Well, long story short, I've won all three times, but can't get the court to award me legal fees. So, every couple of years, I'm out $3k in legal fees to keep my DirecTV dish.

//gotta have NFL Sunday Ticket
///go Steelers
////next year

How do they keep getting to take you back to court? I'd hand them a copy of the last three rulings along with the FCC rules and tell em to fark off..

You should be a dick and put a big old uhf/vhf antenna on your roof too, those are covered under the same FCC laws. :)


Antenna mast less than 12', doesn't even need a permit. Just sayin'
 
2013-01-14 03:53:19 PM

Elzar: I've lived in an HOA, it was an outrage! My property value didn't go down, my neighbors weren't allowed to park their broke down cars on the front lawn and I wasn't even able to call the cops on my neighbors for them not blasting music into the wee hours of the morning.


My home value has doubled since purchase in 1999. I don't have your problems and I don't have to ask anyone what color I can paint my house or what my front garden looks like.

Solution: don't live near hillbillies.
 
2013-01-14 03:53:29 PM

mainstreet62: groppet: Gotta find the lil nazi that keeps crying about this shiat.

[www.grindhouse.it image 448x299]

Come at me, biatch!

/seriously, go after him. Use of a brand is not only recommended, but encouraged.


guides.gamepressure.com
/It works for Overseers.
// It is a criminal offense to offer aid, shelter, or solace to anyone who bears the Brand.
 
2013-01-14 03:53:38 PM

ph0rk: motorized inflated cats


Where do I sign up?
 
2013-01-14 03:54:11 PM

lohphat: Elzar: I've lived in an HOA, it was an outrage! My property value didn't go down, my neighbors weren't allowed to park their broke down cars on the front lawn and I wasn't even able to call the cops on my neighbors for them not blasting music into the wee hours of the morning.

My home value has doubled since purchase in 1999. I don't have your problems and I don't have to ask anyone what color I can paint my house or what my front garden looks like.

Solution: don't live near hillbillies.


You have no control over how your neighborhood may chance 10, 15 years from now.

Unless you have an HOA and participate in it, of course, then you do.
 
2013-01-14 03:54:21 PM

miltoncharles: My HOA has taken me to court three times to get me to take down my "prohibited" DirecTV dish.  FCC law specifically prohibits homeowner's associations from banning DSS dishes.  HOA: "FCC laws do not apply to us."  Court: "Uhm, yes they do."

Well, long story short, I've won all three times, but can't get the court to award me legal fees. So, every couple of years, I'm out $3k in legal fees to keep my DirecTV dish.

//gotta have NFL Sunday Ticket
///go Steelers
////next year


Simple, fight fire with fire. Deliver a registered letter to your HOA that includes the FCC law and the outcomes of the last three cases. Clearly inform them that if they come to you with it again you will file a harassment suit against them.

And when they do it again, pull out the fact that you sent them the registered letter and file the damned suit.
 
2013-01-14 03:54:32 PM

Ed Finnerty: jamesmusik: They put up a phone call with the guy. It's pure genius.

http://www.courierpress.com/videos/detail/a-conversation-with-stonec re ek-hoa-president-steph/

Wow.

Stonecreek HOA president Stephen Hess is lividly pissed that they have betrayed his request.

Stonecreek HOA president Stephen Hess is an ignorant jackass.


THERE WILL BE A LEGAL LAWSUIT.  AND SLANDER!  NO SOLICITATION!

EVERYONE KNOWS WHO I AM
 
2013-01-14 03:54:48 PM

NutWrench: "Furthermore, this notice also requires you not to at any measure mention anything regarding my name, any resident of Stonecreek, NOR will we ALLOW any of your printing in any article regarding Stonecreek at any time in any publication," the message stated. "You will be held liable for any violations of this letter and notice/request in this email. If we find/discover you have mentioned Stonecreek in any legal matter their (sic) will be action toward yourself as well as any print paper you represent in the media article.

Bite my ass and choke on it, you deranged control freak.

"You stop this article immediately, because I will sue you just like I sue the people who don't pay their dues," he said.
- HOA President and professional douchbag Stephen Hess, Stonecreek Arbors Homeowners Association.


Oops! I accidentally copypasta'd that all over the place. Darn.
 
2013-01-14 03:55:07 PM

lohphat: My home value has doubled since purchase in 1999. I don't have your problems and I don't have to ask anyone what color I can paint my house or what my front garden looks like.


The property value thing is a bullshiat excuse to control people.
 
2013-01-14 03:55:30 PM

Lethargic_Apathy: ph0rk: motorized inflated cats

Where do I sign up?


Not as cool as it sounds:

www.meijer.com
 
2013-01-14 03:56:07 PM
Probably a good thing I'm too poor to even consider buying a house. It must be a sad existence, constantly obsessing over how much its worth. I always thought a home was a place to live, not an investment.

And is the color of your neighbors mailbox REALLY going to drive down the value of your place?
 
2013-01-14 03:56:17 PM

Private_Citizen: - had a garage sale every Fri, Sat and Sun.
- one who built a stone monstrosity in their backyard and topped it with a full sized Teepee
-people who so badly maintained their outbuildings that the termites collapsed them
-even people who expressed their creativity by painting trippy murals on their fence
-and, of course, loud music, yelling, parties, etc at all times of day and night.


- Lots of local regs for these ala, "No more than 4 a year"
- Probably against permits/zoning already
- Obviously against safety code
- It's their fence, fark off
- Already against city regs, no doubt

So, in summary, you like your HOA because you don't like the one guy's taste in fence painting. Everything else is redundant.
 
2013-01-14 03:56:58 PM

Mugato: lohphat: My home value has doubled since purchase in 1999. I don't have your problems and I don't have to ask anyone what color I can paint my house or what my front garden looks like.

The property value thing is a bullshiat excuse to control people.


Buying a home in a place with restrictive covenants, then ignoring said covenants while also failing to participate in the local government body (HOA) is a bullshiat excuse to complain.
 
2013-01-14 03:57:01 PM

ProfessorOhki: mjones73: miltoncharles: My HOA has taken me to court three times to get me to take down my "prohibited" DirecTV dish.  FCC law specifically prohibits homeowner's associations from banning DSS dishes.  HOA: "FCC laws do not apply to us."  Court: "Uhm, yes they do."

Well, long story short, I've won all three times, but can't get the court to award me legal fees. So, every couple of years, I'm out $3k in legal fees to keep my DirecTV dish.

//gotta have NFL Sunday Ticket
///go Steelers
////next year

How do they keep getting to take you back to court? I'd hand them a copy of the last three rulings along with the FCC rules and tell em to fark off..

You should be a dick and put a big old uhf/vhf antenna on your roof too, those are covered under the same FCC laws. :)

Antenna mast less than 12', doesn't even need a permit. Just sayin'


Right you are.

OTARD is a great thing.
 
2013-01-14 03:57:26 PM
Tom_Slick:
A few years ago when people were making the switch to HD with Directv the installer came through and add the new dish to the homes that had it, they did not take down the old round dishes, we all got letters stating, "All Satellite Dishes not in use must be removed by X date the HOA will have a contractor in the area to remove the dish if the homeowner would like assistance on X date." I thought wow seems reasonable, but someone took them to court and apparently you can't force people to remove dishes not in use even when paying for the labor. They never tried again.

They should have tried the "honey" approach. I'm sure if they'd called the old dish removal a "free service courtesy your HOA" everyone would have taken them up on it. But that doesn't scream "Respect mah authoriteeeee."

Footnote to my story. When the HOA had the streets resurfaced they skipped over the segment in front of my house. I tell the pizza guy, "When the street suddenly goes to shiat, then you're here."
 
2013-01-14 03:57:26 PM

Klom Dark: jamesmusik: They put up a phone call with the guy. It's pure genius.

http://www.courierpress.com/videos/detail/a-conversation-with-stonec re ek-hoa-president-steph/

Holy crap, I would have ripped into that idiot HOA guy after about 60 seconds of that crap. Or at least laughed at the idiot.


I'll sue you for slander! Slander! I am in legal rights there within! Slander!

Hess needs to watch Spiderman. (And stop sounding like a rabid Hank Hill)

www.soundonsight.org

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XscaGDxuQqE
 
2013-01-14 03:57:42 PM
"He don't have any professional skills talking to people, and if he had been in my yard talking to me the way he wrote me an email, the law would have been out there because I would have knocked him out," Dupre said.
 
2013-01-14 03:57:50 PM

JackieRabbit: A homeowners association is unnecessary (for the most part). Home owners can agree to restrictive covenants that are attached to deeds and hire an attorney to enforce them.


You do know the real reason for HOA's right? The government doesn't want to pay for the common infrastructure (roads, wires etc.). The builder doesn't want it adding to the list price of the house, so it gets dumped onto the HOA.
 
2013-01-14 03:58:06 PM

Fano: nekom: ajgeek: And people BUY INTO IT!

That's the real puzzling part.  I don't get what the upshot is.  I suppose if you REALLY loved conformity and wanted to live in a neighborhood where the houses all look the same.  Can't really see why it would appeal to anyone.  I've got a pickup truck without plates in my yard just for driving around on my property, I've got two septic tanks still in the ground, I cut my grass when the mood strikes me.  I wouldn't last a week in an HOA environment.

Farkers that defend hoas typically tell you that if you don't have an hoa, all your neighbors will let the grass get ten feet tall, leave rusting cars and dead dogs on their front lawn, and paint their house plaid with a middle finger pointed at your bedroom window.


Interestingly enough, the city that I live in has a number of ordinances that mirror typical HOA rules: no cars on the street from 2am to 6am, trash cans out of sight except for trash day, lawn mowing regulations, etc. Some of them are a little silly but I'm sure it's all to maintain property values.

I've never been cited for a violation, but then there aren't any of the ridiculous rules like mailbox type and color, etc.
 
2013-01-14 03:58:18 PM

mjones73: ProfessorOhki: mjones73: miltoncharles: My HOA has taken me to court three times to get me to take down my "prohibited" DirecTV dish.  FCC law specifically prohibits homeowner's associations from banning DSS dishes.  HOA: "FCC laws do not apply to us."  Court: "Uhm, yes they do."

Well, long story short, I've won all three times, but can't get the court to award me legal fees. So, every couple of years, I'm out $3k in legal fees to keep my DirecTV dish.

//gotta have NFL Sunday Ticket
///go Steelers
////next year

How do they keep getting to take you back to court? I'd hand them a copy of the last three rulings along with the FCC rules and tell em to fark off..

You should be a dick and put a big old uhf/vhf antenna on your roof too, those are covered under the same FCC laws. :)

Antenna mast less than 12', doesn't even need a permit. Just sayin'

Right you are.

OTARD is a great thing.


Wow, how did I never notice that was the acronym; that's awesome.
 
2013-01-14 03:58:28 PM
Homeowners' Associations aren't secret, are they? I mean, as soon as you start drawing up a list of houses you'd like to buy, whether any given house is in an HA should be quickly knowable, right?

I wouldn't live in one, but I can see how certain people who have had a bad experience with trashy neighbors would be attracted.


Stonecreek Stonecreek Stonecreek. (Oblig.)
 
2013-01-14 03:59:00 PM

ph0rk: Edymnion: Private_Citizen: I've owned houses in two areas without HOAs, and one with them. The one with an HOA (the current one) is a much nicer place to live.

Without an HOA, I've dealt with neighbors who:

- had a garage sale every Fri, Sat and Sun.
- one who built a stone monstrosity in their backyard and topped it with a full sized Teepee
-people who so badly maintained their outbuildings that the termites collapsed them
-even people who expressed their creativity by painting trippy murals on their fence
-and, of course, loud music, yelling, parties, etc at all times of day and night.

And none of that is your business except for the last one, which you deal with by calling the cops and filing a noise complaint.

If somebody wants to paint their house neon pink with mint green polkadots, its their house and thats their right.

Unless they bought a house under an HOA covenant, in which case they never had that right to begin with. Which is the entire point.


Except that, you know, the quoted bit was "Without an HOA I've had to put up with:". The entire point was that its not in a HOA, and that nothing listed there is anyone's business but the owner's, except for the noise complaints.

Fark HOAs.
 
2013-01-14 03:59:23 PM

jamesmusik: They put up a phone call with the guy. It's pure genius.

http://www.courierpress.com/videos/detail/a-conversation-with-stonec re ek-hoa-president-steph/


Listening to this guy try to threaten the reporter with horribly mangled legalese was worth turning off adblock. How the reporter managed to not at least giggle, I'll never know. What a maroon.
 
2013-01-14 03:59:46 PM
Jehovah! Jehovah! Jehovah!
 
2013-01-14 04:00:16 PM

Edymnion: ph0rk: Edymnion: Private_Citizen: I've owned houses in two areas without HOAs, and one with them. The one with an HOA (the current one) is a much nicer place to live.

Without an HOA, I've dealt with neighbors who:

- had a garage sale every Fri, Sat and Sun.
- one who built a stone monstrosity in their backyard and topped it with a full sized Teepee
-people who so badly maintained their outbuildings that the termites collapsed them
-even people who expressed their creativity by painting trippy murals on their fence
-and, of course, loud music, yelling, parties, etc at all times of day and night.

And none of that is your business except for the last one, which you deal with by calling the cops and filing a noise complaint.

If somebody wants to paint their house neon pink with mint green polkadots, its their house and thats their right.

Unless they bought a house under an HOA covenant, in which case they never had that right to begin with. Which is the entire point.

Except that, you know, the quoted bit was "Without an HOA I've had to put up with:". The entire point was that its not in a HOA, and that nothing listed there is anyone's business but the owner's, except for the noise complaints.

Fark HOAs.


I think an unmanaged termite infestation next door will very quickly be the OP's problem, HOA or no.
 
2013-01-14 04:00:28 PM

jamesmusik: They put up a phone call with the guy. It's pure genius.

http://www.courierpress.com/videos/detail/a-conversation-with-stonec re ek-hoa-president-steph/


wow ... what a ty-rant
props to the reporter for not laughing at him
 
2013-01-14 04:00:30 PM

ph0rk: What do anti-HOA people have against local government?


We don't need to be micro-managed.
 
2013-01-14 04:00:54 PM

ph0rk: Mugato: lohphat: My home value has doubled since purchase in 1999. I don't have your problems and I don't have to ask anyone what color I can paint my house or what my front garden looks like.

The property value thing is a bullshiat excuse to control people.

Buying a home in a place with restrictive covenants, then ignoring said covenants while also failing to participate in the local government body (HOA) is a bullshiat excuse to complain.


I'm not arguing that. If you buy a place with a HOA and as long as they don't change it up on you, it's you're fault. I'm just saying for a last majority of the rules, the property value thing is bullshiat.

/and what's with calling them a "covenant"? Do you carry them around in an Ark?
 
2013-01-14 04:01:32 PM

CheekyMonkey: ph0rk: What do anti-HOA people have against local government?

We don't need to be micro-managed.


If people didn't need to be micromanaged, there wouldn't be so many HOAs.


/People need to be micromanaged.
 
2013-01-14 04:01:35 PM
Rob and Laura Approve...

www.geektress.com
/X-Files Arcadia
 
2013-01-14 04:01:40 PM

Edymnion:

If somebody wants to paint their house neon pink with mint green polkadots, its their house and thats their right.


You sound like someone who still lives at home.
 
2013-01-14 04:01:43 PM
I'm president and queen of my HOA.

My kingdom consists of myself and the gay couple who owns the upstairs flat in our old Victorian. We don't really do much except pay the bills and make EXCELLENT Manhattans at our bi-annual HOA meetings. It's a great setup.
 
2013-01-14 04:02:16 PM
Thunderpipes: Citrate1007: HoA's tend to be ran by Tea Party types that get off on their micro-fascist power trips.

Umm, no. HOAs are liberals, they want to control everything, tax everything, run everything.

Liberals LOVE HOAs. They want to turn the country into a giant HOA.


i3.kym-cdn.com
 
2013-01-14 04:02:27 PM

jamesmusik: They put up a phone call with the guy. It's pure genius.

http://www.courierpress.com/videos/detail/a-conversation-with-stonec re ek-hoa-president-steph/


Comedy Gold!

What's the over/under for number of times he says "sue"?

"Sir, my name isn't Sue. It's Richard. Could you please stop calling me Sue.".
 
2013-01-14 04:02:31 PM

lohphat: Solution: don't live near hillbillies.


True hillbillies won't live near you anyway. You are thinking of white trash wannabe hillbillies, also known as rednecks.

/knows some sophisticated, progressive, and intelligent people who could be classified as "hillbillies" and just want to have privacy
//but yeah, rednecks suck
 
2013-01-14 04:03:07 PM

Mugato: ph0rk: Mugato: lohphat: My home value has doubled since purchase in 1999. I don't have your problems and I don't have to ask anyone what color I can paint my house or what my front garden looks like.

The property value thing is a bullshiat excuse to control people.

Buying a home in a place with restrictive covenants, then ignoring said covenants while also failing to participate in the local government body (HOA) is a bullshiat excuse to complain.

I'm not arguing that. If you buy a place with a HOA and as long as they don't change it up on you, it's you're fault. I'm just saying for a last majority of the rules, the property value thing is bullshiat.

/and what's with calling them a "covenant"? Do you carry them around in an Ark?


Thats the name for the type of rule - it isn't a law, it isn't an ordinance, it is a covenant.

/not a lawyer.
//If you grant that anyone that buys an HOA and complains after is a tard, what's the problem?
///just makes two tards in this story, instead of one.
 
2013-01-14 04:03:12 PM
All the comments about the FCC protecting satellite dish installations reminds me of another fact. They can't regulate over the air TV antennas, either. If I lived in Stonecreek Stonecreek Stonecreek, I would install a big Rangemaster with a noisy rotor to get their pants in a wad.
 
2013-01-14 04:03:23 PM

ProfessorOhki: mjones73: ProfessorOhki: mjones73: miltoncharles: My HOA has taken me to court three times to get me to take down my "prohibited" DirecTV dish.  FCC law specifically prohibits homeowner's associations from banning DSS dishes.  HOA: "FCC laws do not apply to us."  Court: "Uhm, yes they do."

Well, long story short, I've won all three times, but can't get the court to award me legal fees. So, every couple of years, I'm out $3k in legal fees to keep my DirecTV dish.

//gotta have NFL Sunday Ticket
///go Steelers
////next year

How do they keep getting to take you back to court? I'd hand them a copy of the last three rulings along with the FCC rules and tell em to fark off..

You should be a dick and put a big old uhf/vhf antenna on your roof too, those are covered under the same FCC laws. :)

Antenna mast less than 12', doesn't even need a permit. Just sayin'

Right you are.

OTARD is a great thing.

Wow, how did I never notice that was the acronym; that's awesome.


I'm surprised I remembered the acronym off the top of my head like that.

As an ex Direct customer, I was pretty active on dbstalk.com and avsforum.com, they constantly had people complaining they were told they couldn't have a dish because of their HOA and we were more then happy to inform them of the laws protecting them.
 
2013-01-14 04:03:45 PM

Fluorescent Testicle: Alright, which member of the Douche Hall of Fame also did this? Was it JFP or Dino Zaffina or what?


You forgot the "M".

Expect a lawsuit.
 
2013-01-14 04:03:48 PM

Diogenes: My mom's HOA is pretty bad. Not the rules, but the leaders. It's been a succession of little dictators pretty much since she's been there. But, I have become tone deaf to her complaints. She won't get involved - go to meetings, attempt to vote out the Napoleons, etc. And she's pretty much fully retired now. I agree they're terrible, but if she won't even try do to anything I just can't get all exercised over it.


My house is in an HOA because the builder created one so he could sell the houses in the development, then turned the thing over to the residents after X% were sold.

The covenants were sort of dropped on us. We didn't get to vote on them because they existed as the builder's scheme from before any of us moved in. We need 30% homeowner attendance at a meeting to have quorum to amend the covenants. We can't manage to get more than 8 households out of 80 to show up at a meeting, and that includes the 4 board members.

My answer was to get on the board. If there was ever a circumstance that called for libertarians to get off their high horses and get involved, it's the boards of HOAs.

Also, we don't do liens. We chose to do small claims court for anything under the SCC limit. That means no lawyers for either side, thus reducing costs, the homeowner gets a fair showing before a neutral party, and any court judgements are attached to the person rather than the property so the house itself isn't at risk.

Myself, I'd rather dissolve the thing and turn the public ares over to the city as parks, but apparently under our state law that would take agreement from all the stakeholders to sever the association, and that includes all the lienholders that own the mortgages. Possible, but not much chance.
 
2013-01-14 04:04:28 PM
I'm the left-est most liberal of liberal of liberals. My heart bleeds blue. I worship Obama as the next coming of Jesus Christ. I'm an atheist, a tax-payer, and I love the gays.

I would never, ever live in a house that has an HOA.
 
2013-01-14 04:04:50 PM

mjones73: ProfessorOhki: mjones73: ProfessorOhki: mjones73: miltoncharles: My HOA has taken me to court three times to get me to take down my "prohibited" DirecTV dish.  FCC law specifically prohibits homeowner's associations from banning DSS dishes.  HOA: "FCC laws do not apply to us."  Court: "Uhm, yes they do."

Well, long story short, I've won all three times, but can't get the court to award me legal fees. So, every couple of years, I'm out $3k in legal fees to keep my DirecTV dish.

//gotta have NFL Sunday Ticket
///go Steelers
////next year

How do they keep getting to take you back to court? I'd hand them a copy of the last three rulings along with the FCC rules and tell em to fark off..

You should be a dick and put a big old uhf/vhf antenna on your roof too, those are covered under the same FCC laws. :)

Antenna mast less than 12', doesn't even need a permit. Just sayin'

Right you are.

OTARD is a great thing.

Wow, how did I never notice that was the acronym; that's awesome.

I'm surprised I remembered the acronym off the top of my head like that.

As an ex Direct customer, I was pretty active on dbstalk.com and avsforum.com, they constantly had people complaining they were told they couldn't have a dish because of their HOA and we were more then happy to inform them of the laws protecting them.


I should add we had the same issue with people complaining they couldn't put up antenna's for OTA broadcasts.
 
2013-01-14 04:05:44 PM

jamesmusik: They put up a phone call with the guy. It's pure genius.

http://www.courierpress.com/videos/detail/a-conversation-with-stonec re ek-hoa-president-steph/


And this is being recorded!
 
2013-01-14 04:07:22 PM

ciberido: jamesmusik: They put up a phone call with the guy. It's pure genius.

http://www.courierpress.com/videos/detail/a-conversation-with-stonec re ek-hoa-president-steph/

And this is being recorded!


Lol.  Odds on him suing them for also recording it?
 
2013-01-14 04:07:34 PM
My HOA is awesome. They never bother anyone, our dues are super low, we have two very nice neighborhood pools and they organize parties on a regular basis. They are nowhere near evil. I'm totally sorry some of you had to go through the things with HOAs you have gone through. That kind of thing totally sucks, dudes.

/HOA prez in the article needs a good beat down
//microchip a dog or else? really?

Stonecreek Stonecreek Stonecreek!
 
2013-01-14 04:07:36 PM
Just paid my annual HOA dues. $30 (down from $35 last year, as they so happily note in the invoice letter). Basically all mine does is maintain the landscaping at the entrances, run the annual 'hood garage sale, and remind people not to leave their trash cans at the curb all week. BFD.
 
2013-01-14 04:07:45 PM
mjones73:
How do they keep getting to take you back to court? I'd hand them a copy of the last three rulings along with the FCC rules and tell em to fark off..

I do that, but, since it usually happens when there's a new HOA board, it's "not recognized."  So, back we go.

You should be a dick and put a big old uhf/vhf antenna on your roof too, those are covered under the same FCC laws. :)

Way ahead of you.  And it's big enough to pick up stations 100 miles away.  Oddly, they've never mentioned it, though they took a lot of pictures of it a couple months back.
 
2013-01-14 04:08:54 PM
Firstly I hate HOAS and would never purchase a house in one. even if i would consider it , i would not do so if i was not permitted to see the rules/bylaws of the HOA before making my choice and even if i found them acceptable ( which is fairly unlikely) I would want to go out and talk to some of the people living near the housei am considering buying to get an idea how the HOA is run.

also
Stonecreek, H.O.A.
Stonecreek, H.O.A.
Stonecreek, H.O.A.
Stonecreek, H.O.A.
Stonecreek, H.O.A.
Stonecreek, H.O.A.
 
2013-01-14 04:09:19 PM
Where I live is part of an HOA.

My main complaint is that we pay landscapers to come in and make things worse. Hey, I have an idea, how about not weed-eating the ground a full foot away from any structure causing that part to turn into a desert, and instead, water the FARKing plants. Idiots.

The other thing is that this HOA is all old people, not hip on the whole idea of, you know, freedom of expression, and community standards dictating what is legal attire. Oh, and they aren't big on the whole guys living together thing, or the privacy thing, or the...whatever. It's funny to see that their rules have gone from 20+ to 14, and half of those are unenforceable because they are contrary to federal law. The latest thing is the animals thing related to ADA and FHA. What is also bad is that the governing language is so vague and poorly worded, it could mean anything.

But in the end, when it finally comes down to it...they don't do anything, except file a lien when you don't pay your dues...as well they should.
 
2013-01-14 04:09:33 PM

ph0rk: //If you grant that anyone that buys an HOA and complains after is a tard, what's the problem?
///just makes two tards in this story, instead of one.


I simply question the motivations and frankly the attitude of a lot the HOA Nazis I'm met. And it limits the neighborhoods you can move into if you want to avoid such Nazis. And they bust my Dad's balls something terrible even though he's a meticulous neat freak. Never actually find any violations, even though they do violate his property looking for them. So based on my experience, no, I don't care for them.
 
2013-01-14 04:09:41 PM

JackieRabbit: A homeowners association is unnecessary (for the most part). Home owners can agree to restrictive covenants that are attached to deeds and hire an attorney to enforce them. Each homeowner pays a small fee into a fund to retain the attorney. A homeowner in violation of the covenants must pay the attorney's fees for any action he/she must take. Homeowners can get together and vote on variance requests and changes to the covenants. They don't need elected leaders. HOAs are not even needed in municipalities with good zoning and land use regulations, but they can be a blessing in places where such regulations are weak or non-existent. All it takes to understand this is to live next to some fool who refuses to take care of his house and fills his yard with garbage and there's nothing you can do about it.


Exactly. If you have any common areas toss in a fee to to pay for a management company to handle it. Just have a vote on renewing the company's contract versus opening a bidding process in search of a cheaper management company every year. All you need this is a HOA Secretary to pass around copies of the bids. About the only acrimonious fight I can recall was some of the people wanted to pay to get a deal where snow removal on all sidewalks was handled, others didn't like that idea.

/whereas a more formal HOA can go straight to hell when the stay at home mother with a lust for power becomes the VP and gets a stick up her ass about enforcing every rule ever
 
2013-01-14 04:09:41 PM
and my HOA could give a flying damn where people put their sat dish. So that's a plus.
 
2013-01-14 04:10:02 PM

Matthew Keene: All the comments about the FCC protecting satellite dish installations reminds me of another fact. They can't regulate over the air TV antennas, either. If I lived in Stonecreek Stonecreek Stonecreek, I would install a big Rangemaster with a noisy rotor to get their pants in a wad.


Learn to refresh comments first, retard.
 
2013-01-14 04:10:26 PM

The Slush: ciberido: jamesmusik: They put up a phone call with the guy. It's pure genius.

http://www.courierpress.com/videos/detail/a-conversation-with-stonec re ek-hoa-president-steph/

And this is being recorded!

Lol. Odds on him suing them for also recording it?



Man that was hilarious.
 
2013-01-14 04:10:33 PM
111 comments on the newpaper's site, now disabled. Darn.
 
2013-01-14 04:10:52 PM
In our first townhouse in Virginia, we put a large (I think 10') OTA antenna on the roof. THe HOA wrote me and told me to take it down.

I sent them a letter and nicely told them to fark off, quoting the FCC regulation that specifically allowed for an antenna to be placed on the roof.

Then they wrote me another letter, telling me to move the antenna to the other side of the house. I sent them another letter and nicely told them to fark off again, as the HOA bylaws had no "enforceable placement preferences".

They shut up about it after that.

My 2nd HOA (in Colorado) sent me letters about my lawn (I was known as "dead lawn guy" even though I had sprinklers). I promptly installed new sod (which died, but...whattya gonna do...). As I was selling the property, they threatened to file a lein for dead trees.

I told them to fark off, and request that their "inspectors" make careful note of where property lines end for any future issues with those trees.

They shut up about it after that.

My curretn HOA is pretty cool. It's an established neighborhood, so I think that has something to do with it.

\\CSB
 
2013-01-14 04:11:02 PM

ph0rk: Edymnion: ph0rk: Edymnion: Private_Citizen: I've owned houses in two areas without HOAs, and one with them. The one with an HOA (the current one) is a much nicer place to live.

Without an HOA, I've dealt with neighbors who:

- had a garage sale every Fri, Sat and Sun.
- one who built a stone monstrosity in their backyard and topped it with a full sized Teepee
-people who so badly maintained their outbuildings that the termites collapsed them
-even people who expressed their creativity by painting trippy murals on their fence
-and, of course, loud music, yelling, parties, etc at all times of day and night.

And none of that is your business except for the last one, which you deal with by calling the cops and filing a noise complaint.

If somebody wants to paint their house neon pink with mint green polkadots, its their house and thats their right.

Unless they bought a house under an HOA covenant, in which case they never had that right to begin with. Which is the entire point.

Except that, you know, the quoted bit was "Without an HOA I've had to put up with:". The entire point was that its not in a HOA, and that nothing listed there is anyone's business but the owner's, except for the noise complaints.

Fark HOAs.

I think an unmanaged termite infestation next door will very quickly be the OP's problem, HOA or no.


Really, though, HOAs exist for poor (or middle class) people to feel rich. That's their only purpose. If the houses and lots in your neighborhood were expensive enough, you'd be able to keep the riff-raff out with the sheer price of purchase, and not need an HOA. And for combined services (landscaping, pools, ball massager), these are all setup by the HOA to allow poor people to afford things they wouldn't normally need through sharing-the-wealth.
 
2013-01-14 04:12:31 PM

nickerj1: jamesmusik: They put up a phone call with the guy. It's pure genius.

http://www.courierpress.com/videos/detail/a-conversation-with-stonec re ek-hoa-president-steph/

Comedy Gold!

What's the over/under for number of times he says "sue"?

"Sir, my name isn't Sue. It's Richard. Could you please stop calling me Sue.".


Clearly King Emperor HOA is a Johnny Cash fan.
 
2013-01-14 04:13:16 PM
I was the president of a condo HOA once. Didn't want the job, really... but I was already on the board as VP when the president of 12 years quit in a huff.

Some dumbass actually called me in the middle of the night because there was a raccoon on his back steps. I advised him to throw things at it and make loud noises.
 
2013-01-14 04:13:37 PM

Mugato: ph0rk: //If you grant that anyone that buys an HOA and complains after is a tard, what's the problem?
///just makes two tards in this story, instead of one.

I simply question the motivations and frankly the attitude of a lot the HOA Nazis I'm met. And it limits the neighborhoods you can move into if you want to avoid such Nazis. And they bust my Dad's balls something terrible even though he's a meticulous neat freak. Never actually find any violations, even though they do violate his property looking for them. So based on my experience, no, I don't care for them.


nickerj1: Really, though, HOAs exist for poor (or middle class) people to feel rich. That's their only purpose. If the houses and lots in your neighborhood were expensive enough, you'd be able to keep the riff-raff out with the sheer price of purchase, and not need an HOA. And for combined services (landscaping, pools, ball massager), these are all setup by the HOA to allow poor people to afford things they wouldn't normally need through sharing-the-wealth.


The problem in both cases isn't HOAs, it is napoleonic "respect mah authoritah" types. In the absence of an HOA, they'll just get on the town council and fark you in the ass even harder.
 
2013-01-14 04:13:40 PM

jamesmusik: They put up a phone call with the guy. It's pure genius.

http://www.courierpress.com/videos/detail/a-conversation-with-stonec re ek-hoa-president-steph/


Wow. That guy would not shut up.

About half way through:
Hess: "I'll give you the floor now."
Reporter: "Ok, I'll let you talk to my Bo..."
Hess: "Now, you've just violated my trust and I have 5 residents that say you are harassing them..."

And on and on. He keeps telling the reporter that he's done, and as soon as the report speaks, he interrupts him and keeps talking.

Reporter: "Ok, let me get..."
Hess: "Let me tell you that I am not happy with your tone and your words. I'm am going to sue you and I am in legal right to do so...."
 
2013-01-14 04:14:15 PM

ProfessorOhki: Private_Citizen: - had a garage sale every Fri, Sat and Sun.
- one who built a stone monstrosity in their backyard and topped it with a full sized Teepee
-people who so badly maintained their outbuildings that the termites collapsed them
-even people who expressed their creativity by painting trippy murals on their fence
-and, of course, loud music, yelling, parties, etc at all times of day and night.

- Lots of local regs for these ala, "No more than 4 a year"
- Probably against permits/zoning already
- Obviously against safety code
- It's their fence, fark off
- Already against city regs, no doubt

So, in summary, you like your HOA because you don't like the one guy's taste in fence painting. Everything else is redundant.


I've noticed that when given total freedom, there's a certain type of person who just goes crazy, becomes a complete ass and generally runs their Freak Flag up the ole flag pole. The internet is a classic example (See John Gabriel's "Greater Internet Dickwad Theory").

An HOA prevents that douchery from crossing over into the real world. Sure, if you live in a rural area, where you have to take a drive to see your nearest neighbor, no one cares if you have a front yard decorated in late Junkyard - or that your trying to rust that old car into the dirt by ritualistically pissing on it every morning. But if you're in a modern neighborhood, you may be happy you have an HOA - because the police could care less about your nasty, weird, spitefull troll of a neighbor.

/But make sure the nasty, weird, spitefull troll isn't the only guy to attend the HOA meeting - that's how Stonecreek happens.
 
2013-01-14 04:14:19 PM

Matthew Keene: Matthew Keene: All the comments about the FCC protecting satellite dish installations reminds me of another fact. They can't regulate over the air TV antennas, either. If I lived in Stonecreek Stonecreek Stonecreek, I would install a big Rangemaster with a noisy rotor to get their pants in a wad.

Learn to refresh comments first, retard.


Have you considered switching to decaff?
 
2013-01-14 04:15:07 PM
I know Tom Langhorne; he really is a pretty cool guy. Oh, and I sent Stephen Hess an email, thanking him for providing much-needed lutz today.
 
2013-01-14 04:15:24 PM

Thudfark: Someone named Hess with delusions of grandeur and a penchant for the tyrannical? Colour me shocked.


At the risk of 'godwinning' this thread, I'd say he had the perfect name for an HOA president. (Along with Eichmann, Speer and Goebbels)
 
2013-01-14 04:16:57 PM

Day_Old_Dutchie: Thudfark: Someone named Hess with delusions of grandeur and a penchant for the tyrannical? Colour me shocked.

At the risk of 'godwinning' this thread, I'd say he had the perfect name for an HOA president. (Along with Eichmann, Speer and Goebbels)


I'm waiting for him to steal a plane and fly to England in the hopes of negotiating an unofficial peace with the newspaper.
 
2013-01-14 04:18:50 PM

Edymnion: Private_Citizen: I've owned houses in two areas without HOAs, and one with them. The one with an HOA (the current one) is a much nicer place to live.

Without an HOA, I've dealt with neighbors who:

- had a garage sale every Fri, Sat and Sun.
- one who built a stone monstrosity in their backyard and topped it with a full sized Teepee
-people who so badly maintained their outbuildings that the termites collapsed them
-even people who expressed their creativity by painting trippy murals on their fence
-and, of course, loud music, yelling, parties, etc at all times of day and night.

And none of that is your business except for the last one, which you deal with by calling the cops and filing a noise complaint.

If somebody wants to paint their house neon pink with mint green polkadots, its their house and thats their right.


Actually, it's not. There are considerable legal land use provisions allowing local municipalities and organizations to limit nuisances to property of various kinds. HOAs are able to to so by those buying into them, and in many cases they are a wise investment. A neighbor who builds a stone tower in their backyard lowers the privacy, light, and likely property value of those surrounding it. The thing with the "MAI LAND, I DO WHAT I WANT" mindset is that no actions upon your land will possibly have adverse effects upon your neighbors (and vice versa), which is horribly incorrect. Most actions we take in development, be it making a new residential tower to adding a shed, have some sort of effect on the surrounding population (from loss of light to a rat infestation). Happily, the US has considerable laws stretching back over the last 120 years keeping that sort of mindset limited in function from totally wrecking the rights of everyone surrounding an irresponsible homeowner.

If HOAs aren't really your cup of tea, and they aren't mine, then don't live there. Those who do want those protections pay for it in some fashion or another, but as we've seen in this thread most HOAs are pretty non-issue aside from one or two problems on an infrequent basis.
 
2013-01-14 04:19:08 PM

miltoncharles: I do that, but, since it usually happens when there's a new HOA board, it's "not recognized." So, back we go.


If it's addressed to the HOA, leadership shouldn't matter. Send it registered, and when they try again, hit 'em with that harassment suit. $200k or so ought to get their attention (Actually, make it the average home price in the neighborhood for lulz). Courts don't care if the leadership of the organization has changed- it's still the same entity.

Think of it this way: would a court allow Bank of America to get out of a $2 Billion lawsuit over the financial crisis if they hired a new CEO? That would be laughable, right?

It really does sound like a nice harassment suit is in order.
 
2013-01-14 04:19:21 PM
Hess? That has a certain Aryan/Nazi ring to it. Stonecreek isn't a Polish neighborhood I hope. If it is, I do not see good things happening.

/Be careful, Helen Keller
 
2013-01-14 04:19:34 PM

Thunderpipes: Citrate1007: HoA's tend to be ran by Tea Party types that get off on their micro-fascist power trips.

Umm, no. HOAs are liberals, they want to control everything, tax everything, run everything.

Liberals LOVE HOAs. They want to turn the country into a giant HOA.


The word you both are looking for is 'Authoritarian'. Authoritarians can be on the right or left.
 
2013-01-14 04:19:44 PM
Hey guys, HOA's can also provide security for your apartment complex or neighborhood.

2.bp.blogspot.com

By friendly residents in your community!!!!
 
2013-01-14 04:21:04 PM

99.998er: Hess? That has a certain Aryan/Nazi ring to it. Stonecreek isn't a Polish neighborhood I hope. If it is, I do not see good things happening.

/Be careful, Helen Keller


YEW BETTER MICROCHIP YER ATTIC JEW GIRLS ER IMMA GONNA SUE YOU, EVICT YOU, THEN SUE YOU AGAIN! IT IS MY LEGAL RIGHT!
 
2013-01-14 04:22:57 PM

Thunderpipes: Citrate1007: HoA's tend to be ran by Tea Party types that get off on their micro-fascist power trips.

Umm, no. HOAs are liberals, they want to control everything, tax everything, run everything.

Liberals LOVE HOAs. They want to turn the country into a giant HOA.


Tough call. I was on an HOA board and the pres would've probably considered himself conservative. However, he did want to control every little aspect of the neighborhood, which is why I tried getting him voted out. Turns out his successor was even worse, now I'm not even sure we have a board anymore, but shiat still gets done.
 
2013-01-14 04:23:49 PM
Ourr subdivision has mostly 3200-3800 sq ft homes. The only time the HOA helped me was when one of my neighbors about 4 houses up was working on his car in the street, and there was, it appeared to a lot of transmission fluid on the street, they had the car jacked up witha long handled floor jack. The handle was pointing in the street, and I swerved to avoid it. On the way home, I had my Nikon w/me, so went slowly by, snapping a few pics. Next week, at the HOA meeting, I mentioned it. The neighbor was adamant they didn't spill anything. I emailed the HOA the pics, and they must have threatened him w/fines, because they hired someone to clean the mess. While I expect everyone to try to maintain the integrity of the neighborhood, sometimes you get residents whose standards are lower, and just lucky to be here (renters).
If you're going to spend almost 300k on a house, you expect a neighborhood to be better. I have a 3 car garage, and a driveway to accomodate 6 more. If your drivewa is too small for 9 cars, get rid of some.
 
2013-01-14 04:24:18 PM
My mom lives in an HOA controlled community, but her house was built (and she bought it) before the HOA/Covenants existed. They try all the time to push her around (they don't like her non-brick mailbox), and they were upset when she had her driveway re-done without their permission (asphalt instead of brick or concrete). They've gone as far as trying to file a lien on her house (for dues non-payment).. that was about a 5 minute hearing wherein the HOA was billed for her legal fees after the case was dismissed, as she could prove she was not part of the HOA and not subject to paying dues to them. Basically, I perceive HOAs, despite their ostensible purpose of protecting home values, as a bunch of bored old people who are depressed, so they want to make everyone else as miserable as they are.
 
2013-01-14 04:24:20 PM
What the fark does he think he's going to sue over. Slander ... good luck with that. No solicitation ... hahahaha.
 
2013-01-14 04:25:12 PM
If the newpaper's link to the phone call 'interview' with that jackass is as farked for you as it is for me, here is a Youtube link
I found it by searching for Stonecreek HOA president Stephen Hess
 
2013-01-14 04:25:26 PM
♫♪ Every time I HOA
Them jerks keep takin my rights away
Makes no difference that theys all a clown
They gotta quit kickin my rights around ♪♫
 
2013-01-14 04:25:49 PM

cptjeff: miltoncharles: I do that, but, since it usually happens when there's a new HOA board, it's "not recognized." So, back we go.

If it's addressed to the HOA, leadership shouldn't matter. Send it registered, and when they try again, hit 'em with that harassment suit. $200k or so ought to get their attention (Actually, make it the average home price in the neighborhood for lulz). Courts don't care if the leadership of the organization has changed- it's still the same entity.

Think of it this way: would a court allow Bank of America to get out of a $2 Billion lawsuit over the financial crisis if they hired a new CEO? That would be laughable, right?

It really does sound like a nice harassment suit is in order.


They always word it differently. First time was "Take it down." Second time was "move it to the back of the house" (trees make that impossible). Third time was "architectural preservation." Which doesn't apply to cookie-cutter, 20-year-old homes.  My lawyer included a not-very-vague threat of a harassment suit to the last go 'round.  It's been 2 years, which is the average length between incidents. A new round of letters went out to all the homeowners promising "more aggressive" dish rules enforcement went out right before Christmas.
 
2013-01-14 04:25:51 PM

ph0rk: lohphat: Elzar: I've lived in an HOA, it was an outrage! My property value didn't go down, my neighbors weren't allowed to park their broke down cars on the front lawn and I wasn't even able to call the cops on my neighbors for them not blasting music into the wee hours of the morning.

My home value has doubled since purchase in 1999. I don't have your problems and I don't have to ask anyone what color I can paint my house or what my front garden looks like.

Solution: don't live near hillbillies.

You have no control over how your neighborhood may chance 10, 15 years from now.

Unless you have an HOA and participate in it, of course, then you do.


Your dog whistle is blaring.

I'd rather have my freedom than worry about blah people.

In fact, my neighbors were tow elderly blah people while the value increased. They maintained the house, as do I, as do my other neighbors.

I don't need a covenant of idiotic conformity.

I choose not to live in fear of the future.
 
2013-01-14 04:26:34 PM

Ex-Texan: Ourr ...


You rolled your R.
...sees what that did there.
 
2013-01-14 04:26:50 PM

firefly212: My mom lives in an HOA controlled community, but her house was built (and she bought it) before the HOA/Covenants existed. They try all the time to push her around (they don't like her non-brick mailbox), and they were upset when she had her driveway re-done without their permission (asphalt instead of brick or concrete). They've gone as far as trying to file a lien on her house (for dues non-payment).. that was about a 5 minute hearing wherein the HOA was billed for her legal fees after the case was dismissed, as she could prove she was not part of the HOA and not subject to paying dues to them. Basically, I perceive HOAs, despite their ostensible purpose of protecting home values, as a bunch of bored old people who are depressed, so they want to make everyone else as miserable as they are.


In the extremely rare cases where that happens (towns get incorporated in places where there were no towns before, too) she almost certainly had a chance to participate in the HOA, and didn't.

There isn't some elite ninja squad that comes in and covenants up the place.
 
2013-01-14 04:27:01 PM

LordJiro: Thunderpipes: Citrate1007: HoA's tend to be ran by Tea Party types that get off on their micro-fascist power trips.

Umm, no. HOAs are liberals, they want to control everything, tax everything, run everything.

Liberals LOVE HOAs. They want to turn the country into a giant HOA.

The word you both are looking for is 'Authoritarian'. Authoritarians can be on the right or left.


Every single thing doesn't have to be liberal or conservative. Although I find the idea of conservatives in the minority in HOAs laughable.

Property values!
 
2013-01-14 04:27:13 PM
FTA: He don't have any professional skills talking to people...

Boy do I have some bad news for you...
 
2013-01-14 04:28:45 PM

lohphat: I choose not to live in fear of the future.


Unless it is fear of draconian HOAs taking yer rights, right?

/You sound plenty fearful to me.
 
2013-01-14 04:28:55 PM
STONECREEK! Where the demons dwell
Where the banshees live and they do live well!
STONECREEK! Where a man is a man
And the children dance to the pipes of Pan!

And you my love, won't you take my hand?
We'll go back in time to that mystic land
Where assessments are due, and they're due right now
I will sue your ass, I will show you how!

And where are they now...the l'il children of STONECREEK?
And where would we be, if we were here...tonight?
 
2013-01-14 04:29:48 PM
I live in Evansville, the C&;P likely disabled comments because certain users where posting Mr. Hess' private information, including his address and every legal action he has been a party to. After reading it over, I can assure Mr Hess is just as reasonable as he sounds on that recording. Also, I'm willing to bet those 49 households in Stonecreek that didn't pay their HOA dues, didn't do so because they didn't want their HOA dues to be used to sue their neighbors over shiat so trivial as a non-mircochipped dog.
 
2013-01-14 04:29:51 PM

miltoncharles:  A new round of letters went out to all the homeowners promising "more aggressive" dish rules enforcement went out right before Christmas.



I know... preview is my friend.
 
2013-01-14 04:30:20 PM

oh_please: jamesmusik: They put up a phone call with the guy. It's pure genius.

http://www.courierpress.com/videos/detail/a-conversation-with-stonec re ek-hoa-president-steph/

Listening to this guy try to threaten the reporter with horribly mangled legalese was worth turning off adblock. How the reporter managed to not at least giggle, I'll never know. What a maroon.


I thought it sounded like some sort of Legal Mad-Libs. Hess seems to know a handful of legal terms, but not their meaning or how to use them. Without listening to the recording again, I can't recall what term he used instead of "defamation" when he's trying to talk about defamation of character. Maybe it was Norm Crosby trying to punk the reporter. One thing is for certain, this douchebag doesn't know the difference between libel and slander....
 
2013-01-14 04:31:16 PM
I'm the current president of our building's HOA, and I've done damn near everything in my power to make sure the stupid stays out.

"Her drapes aren't the right color! The building front isn't uniform!"
"While we're on the subject ma'am, you're the only one who uses vertical blinds. If you want her to replace her drapes, I want you to replace yours."

"Her girlfriend parks out front! Overnight! It's not moral!"
"Her fiancee parks out front overnight. Just like yours did. Welcome to Iowa."

"The driveway is blocked! What are you going to do about it?"
"It's the middle of a blizzard. I think I'm doing it right now."
 
2013-01-14 04:31:43 PM
News flash: americans feel entitled to be freed of their contractual obligations when they decide that the person enforcing them is a jerk.
 
2013-01-14 04:32:40 PM
Absolute best way to make a newspaper run with a story they're doing on you? Tell them you'll sue and demand that they don't print it.

After we're done picking ourselves up from the newsroom floor from laughing at you, we generally rearrange the page to give it more space, because 99.9 percent of the time your legal threats prove you a) don't know your ass from a hole in the ground, and b) are trying to cover up the story so you don't look bad.
 
2013-01-14 04:32:52 PM

miltoncharles: My HOA has taken me to court three times to get me to take down my "prohibited" DirecTV dish.  FCC law specifically prohibits homeowner's associations from banning DSS dishes.  HOA: "FCC laws do not apply to us."  Court: "Uhm, yes they do."

Well, long story short, I've won all three times, but can't get the court to award me legal fees. So, every couple of years, I'm out $3k in legal fees to keep my DirecTV dish.

//gotta have NFL Sunday Ticket
///go Steelers
////next year


I think after the third time you can hire a lawyer and go after them for harassment or some such thing. If they keep getting the case thrown out and the facts haven't changed each time, the only thing they can reasonably expect to do is waste your time and money.

Harassment and Extortion, in other words.
 
2013-01-14 04:33:05 PM
My little CSB:

A year after I bought my first home, a new housing development went in across the road, complete with their own asinine HOA.

These people were so uptight and controlling, they kept trying to go after me and my neighbors for supposed infractions of their HOA bylaws. Never mind we were not part of the development. Never mind that our houses and properties existed 50 years before the development was ever put in. Their claim was, that since our properties were adjacent to the development, we were subject to their bylaws, because our properties were "affecting the value of the houses in the development".

We scoffed them away at first, so the HOA leaders shot back (figuratively) by making frequent and repeated complaints to the township for supposed property violations. Everything from noise complaints to complaints that my hedges were 1" too tall. YES, they called the township on me because someone from the HOA came over and measured my hedge, the day before I do my weekly yard-work, and found it was exactly 1" over township regulations.

Even though the township inspectors found no evidence of township violations, me and my neighbors were still fined for being "nuisance properties", due to the sheer volume of complaints. Not once was the HOA cited for all the false claims they made to police and the township.

Thanks to this, I now know that even if you do find a house without an HOA, if one ever moves in near your home, they WILL find a way to lord over you.
 
2013-01-14 04:33:49 PM

sid244: Hey guys, HOA's can also provide security for your apartment complex or neighborhood.



By friendly residents in your community!!!!


The thread has officially been Zimmermanned
 
2013-01-14 04:34:43 PM

Elzar: I've lived in an HOA, it was an outrage! My property value didn't go down, my neighbors weren't allowed to park their broke down cars on the front lawn and I wasn't even able to call the cops on my neighbors for them not blasting music into the wee hours of the morning.


Where I'm from, those things are all against city ordinances. No need for a HOA
 
2013-01-14 04:34:49 PM

Fano: nekom: ajgeek: And people BUY INTO IT!

That's the real puzzling part.  I don't get what the upshot is.  I suppose if you REALLY loved conformity and wanted to live in a neighborhood where the houses all look the same.  Can't really see why it would appeal to anyone.  I've got a pickup truck without plates in my yard just for driving around on my property, I've got two septic tanks still in the ground, I cut my grass when the mood strikes me.  I wouldn't last a week in an HOA environment.

Farkers that defend hoas typically tell you that if you don't have an hoa, all your neighbors will let the grass get ten feet tall, leave rusting cars and dead dogs on their front lawn, and paint their house plaid with a middle finger pointed at your bedroom window.


In short, HOAs stop you from having fun neighbors.

/What happens in the ten-foot-tall grass, stays in the ten-foot-tall grass
 
2013-01-14 04:35:13 PM
I don't care what you have to say about HOA's, you know everything you need to about THAT one from that article. The fact that the a-hole decided to try and threaten a farking newspaper in to not running a story tells you pretty much everything you need to know about Mr. "Drunk With Power" Hess. That he tried to threaten them not to even use their NAME, the name on the damn sign which is a matter of public record. Seriously, fark that guy.
 
2013-01-14 04:35:26 PM

mainstreet62: groppet: Gotta find the lil nazi that keeps crying about this shiat.

[www.grindhouse.it image 448x299]

Come at me, biatch!

/seriously, go after him. Use of a brand is not only recommended, but encouraged.


Actually I hear a knife is pretty effective.

t2.gstatic.com
 
2013-01-14 04:35:46 PM
I just bought a house over the summer with an HOA. In the beginning I said I would never live in a place with an HOA but I ended up softening my stance. My wife did not care about having an HOA and there seem to be two types of HOAs. One generally charges at least a few hundred a year and is run by the home owners themselves, and the other, like mine, that charge very little and are run by an "HOA" management company. We avoided looking at houses with a home owner run HOA because the realtor said that is the type that is more likely to be a-holes. Of course ours could become a nightmare if the wrong person complains but the HOA company does not have an incentive to be a-holes because the community could just find a different management company, and they have tens or hundreds of other communities to look after.

We could not put in a chain link fence which was a little annoying, but that not that big of a deal. Basically I was not going to look my wife in the eyes and say we cannot buy this house because of an HOA that was not of her concern and may not cause issues. The people that would choose death over an HOA seem like the same people that get divorced five times because they cannot compromise with their spouse. I will pick my HOA battles as I pick battles with my wife. I chose an HOA that was less likely to be crazy just as I picked a non-crazy wife.

And finally, there are enough local ordinances that if someone wants to be a dick, they can even without an HOA.
 
2013-01-14 04:37:27 PM

Bomb Head Mohammed: News flash: americans feel entitled to be freed of their contractual obligations when they decide that the person enforcing them is a jerk.


News flash: Americans get upset when dictorial assholes with small penises start implementing stupid rules to prove their importance.
 
2013-01-14 04:38:02 PM
This is why I never even look at a home if it's in a HOA.
 
2013-01-14 04:38:51 PM

ph0rk: What do anti-HOA people have against local government?


Whenever "local government" starts sounding attractive and logical and commonsensical, one only has to think of an acrimonious HOA board meeting. So it's the other way around, really.

/The mayor may be an a-hole, but at least he won't issue a ticket for painting my front door the wrong shade of red.
 
2013-01-14 04:39:54 PM
I have an HOA. I think it costs like $120 a month (but we pay quarterly). For that I get trash pickup twice a week, recycling pickup once a week, and access to a clubhouse with a swimming pool, hot tub, and tennis courts. They also cut the grass, blow the leaves, etc. The best part about an HOA however, is that it tends to keep undesirables out of the neighborhood. Absolutely 0 ghetto thugs or white trash in my entire community. And that alone is something I would gladly pay double my HOA fee for.
 
2013-01-14 04:40:09 PM

Elzar: I've lived in an HOA, it was an outrage! My property value didn't go down, my neighbors weren't allowed to park their broke down cars on the front lawn and I wasn't even able to call the cops on my neighbors for them not blasting music into the wee hours of the morning.


I don't live in a HOA and I have none of these issues. Sorry you have to pay for the "privilege" in your neighborhood.
 
2013-01-14 04:41:07 PM

Ed Finnerty: 99.998er: Hess? That has a certain Aryan/Nazi ring to it. Stonecreek isn't a Polish neighborhood I hope. If it is, I do not see good things happening.

/Be careful, Helen Keller

YEW BETTER MICROCHIP YER ATTIC JEW GIRLS ER IMMA GONNA SUE YOU, EVICT YOU, THEN SUE YOU AGAIN! IT IS MY LEGAL RIGHT!


It isn't like I mentioned Stonecreek or anything. Oh damn, I did mention Stonecreek. I could just kick myself for mentioning Stonecreek.
 
SH
2013-01-14 04:41:10 PM
I was truly amazed when I ctrl+F'ed this thread and saw zero mentions of the HOA's website.

http://stonecreekhoa.org

Unfortunately you need to be logged in to "contact us".
 
2013-01-14 04:41:25 PM
I live in a gated community and my HOA has hired police to come and harass residents if they drive 3 mph over the speed limit or they don't count to five Mississippis at stop signs. They even leave tickets on cars that are partially blocking the sidewalk at 2 a.m. on a Saturday morning. Is like a police state.
 
2013-01-14 04:41:28 PM

OgreMagi: Bomb Head Mohammed: News flash: americans feel entitled to be freed of their contractual obligations when they decide that the person enforcing them is a jerk.

News flash: Americans get upset when dictorial assholes with small penises start implementing stupid rules to prove their importance.


Yeah we do
www.history.com
 
2013-01-14 04:42:32 PM
HOAs and me are incompatible.

I like to weld, burn shiat and blow crap up.

If I could fire guns in my backyard I would.

I like to let my grass grow long sometimes for the hell of it.

My Christmas decorations were all UV based this year, it was creepy.

That Stonecreek dick can bite me.
 
2013-01-14 04:44:12 PM
New title for the aritcle - When Hall Monitors Age Ungracefully
that and-
 Homes are selling in Stonecreek for generally no more than $155,000
Only when the stakes are so small is the fight so bitter . . . h.kissinger
 
2013-01-14 04:44:41 PM

SH: I was truly amazed when I ctrl+F'ed this thread and saw zero mentions of the HOA's website.

http://stonecreekhoa.org

Unfortunately you need to be logged in to "contact us".


Wrong one
 
2013-01-14 04:44:45 PM

SH: I was truly amazed when I ctrl+F'ed this thread and saw zero mentions of the HOA's website.

http://stonecreekhoa.org

Unfortunately you need to be logged in to "contact us".


True, but we can still crash the server.
 
2013-01-14 04:45:19 PM
"Property values"? They mean "expected resale prices" for people who want to flip houses, not live in them. The value of a property lies in what you are able to do with it. What they want is high prices but low value.

When you give someone the power to make other people do what you want them to, you're giving that person the power to make you do what other people want you to.
 
2013-01-14 04:45:52 PM
The HOA guy knows that he's only in charge of HOA stuff, right? He does know that he can't supersede the First Amendment?

(reads douchey email from HOA guy to newspaper)

Guess not ...
 
2013-01-14 04:46:06 PM
I have a buddy who for about 7-8 years dealt with an HOA:

He lives next to an HOA, he is not part of an HOA.  Apparently YEARS back when the set of track homes was being built, it was built against a large piece of property owned by a single owner.  So this enterprising owner builds like 20 houses that look almost exactly the same as the adjacent track homes, but with bigger lots and not part of any HOA and sells off the homes.  So he more or less broke up his property right...

So my buddy buys one of these homes and the first year he is there, he gets a letter from the HOA saying he owes them money and that he has all kinds of violations.  So he writes them back stating that he is not part of the HOA and they can take his violation letter and shove it up their ass.

You can guess what happens next

They put a lien against his house and start to go down the path of foreclosure.  So he sues them to get it stopped and wins, plus lawyer fees.  Next year goes around, nothing happens.  Year 3, he gets a letter from the adjacent HOA and they are demanding dues for the last 3 years, threatening a lien and a laundry list of violations.  So he has his lawyer write up a nice "fark you, go away" letter.

They go back to court to get the lien removed again, rinse and repeat 2 more times over the course of 8 years.

He went back to court again this Summer and asked the Judge is there was anything that she could do to stop this HOA from continuing to do this.  I guess the Judge looked at the HOA President and his team of lawyers and chewed them out and threatened that if they tried to do this again, that someone was going to go to jail for continuing to attempt to commit fraud.

The HOA voted in another new president.  New president comes over to my buddies house with a 6 pack of nice craft beers and apologizes on how the HOA has treated him.  I guess one of his first acts was to specify in the official by-laws that this block of homes is not part of the HOA and will never be part of the HOA, so leave them alone.

As for the other 19 homes - they have dealt with similar situations.

I cannot begin to imagine just how much money the HOA has wasted on this idiocy over the years.
 
2013-01-14 04:46:49 PM

SH: I was truly amazed when I ctrl+F'ed this thread and saw zero mentions of the HOA's website.

http://stonecreekhoa.org

Unfortunately you need to be logged in to "contact us".


Wrong one, dummy. The one being discussed is in Indiana. The one you are linking to is in Florida. In case you didn't know, those locations are far from each other.

But thanks for playing...
 
2013-01-14 04:46:55 PM
Wait a sec. Isn't this thread about who keeps the electric car down?
 
2013-01-14 04:48:36 PM

FormlessOne: dahmers love zombie: I like how the news site's very next line after reprinting the "don't use the name Stonecreek" email was:

'A powerful tool'

LOL.

Yeah, I love that little "coincidental" heading. Hess does appear to be an appalling pissant of a person.

However, that's what you get when you sign into an HOA - the very real possibility of being forced not just to keep your property in a certain manner, but actually told how you should live portions of your life, too.

If you're stupid enough to sign onto an HOA, you deserve everything you get, honestly. I find it bizarre that HOAs are still prevalent enough, given their abuses over the last two decades, to warrant regular Fark postings about some new petty tyranny related to them.


Kind of a dilemma choosing between HOA and non-HOA housing. Yes, HOAs can be populated by tyrannical assholes (although the "told how you should live" bit is generally not actually in the HOA rules, and so you can tell the little despot to piss off when he tries to pull that particular stunt) but non-HOA neighborhoods can be populated by all sorts of crap in the yard that makes it hard to sell your house.

If you were shopping for a house, would you be willing to pay more for a place you were looking at when you saw that the neighbor had 49 pink flamingos in the yard, a bright green house with pink trim, and a rusty old truck up on blocks in the tall grass? Neither would anyone else, but without an HOA, you have to hope that city ordinances prevent such things. If they don't, it's very hard to get that stuff tossed out.
 
2013-01-14 04:48:49 PM

Five Tails of Fury: Absolute best way to make a newspaper run with a story they're doing on you? Tell them you'll sue and demand that they don't print it.

After we're done picking ourselves up from the newsroom floor from laughing at you, we generally rearrange the page to give it more space, because 99.9 percent of the time your legal threats prove you a) don't know your ass from a hole in the ground, and b) are trying to cover up the story so you don't look bad.


Page? Space? How much space do you need for text and a few ima- oh... physical print? That's still a thing?

/I'm sorry.
 
2013-01-14 04:49:00 PM

pgh9fan: Wait a sec. Isn't this thread about who keeps the electric car down?


www.pivisuals.com

We do!
 
2013-01-14 04:49:31 PM

Gough: oh_please: jamesmusik: They put up a phone call with the guy. It's pure genius.

http://www.courierpress.com/videos/detail/a-conversation-with-stonec re ek-hoa-president-steph/

Listening to this guy try to threaten the reporter with horribly mangled legalese was worth turning off adblock. How the reporter managed to not at least giggle, I'll never know. What a maroon.

I thought it sounded like some sort of Legal Mad-Libs. Hess seems to know a handful of legal terms, but not their meaning or how to use them. Without listening to the recording again, I can't recall what term he used instead of "defamation" when he's trying to talk about defamation of character. Maybe it was Norm Crosby trying to punk the reporter. One thing is for certain, this douchebag doesn't know the difference between libel and slander....


Yes! I was trying to think of his name when I posted, but couldn't remember. That's him.

And the fact that he's SO angry and SO serious and threatening makes it 10x as hilarious.
 
2013-01-14 04:49:31 PM
I just listened to the recording of the phone call with the HOA president. He mad. Real mad. Is he supposed to be a lawyer? Because it doesn't sound like half of the things he is threatening to sue the paper for he can even sue for. And how much you want to bet that the five people he claims that were being harassed by the reporter are five people from the HOA board that the reporter contacted to request an interview with. I would love to see a follow up on this story.
 
2013-01-14 04:50:05 PM

SH: I was truly amazed when I ctrl+F'ed this thread and saw zero mentions of the HOA's website.

http://stonecreekhoa.org

Unfortunately you need to be logged in to "contact us".


Wrong StoneCreek. That one is in florida
 
2013-01-14 04:50:07 PM
After listening to the recorded phone conversation, I believe this clown is a Sovereign Citizen and doesn't fully understand the 1st Amendment at all.

/currently live in an HOA
//hate it
///will actually be moving to the Evansville area in the future
////NOT Stonecreek!!
 
2013-01-14 04:50:30 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: These HOA horror stories are largely the exception, not the rule. Most HOAs are run by decent people, and they're set up to ensure that the common areas are maintained and that the mutually-beneficial and agreed-upon covenants are enforced.


None of this matters. Your "nice" HOA can always be turned into one of the "bad" ones after you have been living there for years. The only way to be sure you won't end up in a bad one is to never join any of them.
 
2013-01-14 04:50:38 PM

jamesmusik: They put up a phone call with the guy. It's pure genius.

http://www.courierpress.com/videos/detail/a-conversation-with-stonec re ek-hoa-president-steph/


Best part was all the "if you write an article about us we'll sue you" interspersed with "you'd better put this information about us in your article!"
 
2013-01-14 04:50:43 PM
Yay. Phone call between the reporter and Hess:

Link
 
2013-01-14 04:51:04 PM

OtherLittleGuy: Who knew Dino MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMM Zaffina became a HOA President?


Jebus Cripes, man! Do you wanna get sued? It's Dino M. Zaffina!

You better hope he isn't lurking here today!

What a Dino M. Zaffina might look like:
i995.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-14 04:52:19 PM
HOAs can't be described as liberal/conservative because they exist on a different political "axis". It's a question of authoritarian/libertarian.
 
2013-01-14 04:52:33 PM

Endive Wombat: Apparently YEARS back when the set of track homes was being built, it was built against a large piece of property owned by a single owner. So this enterprising owner builds like 20 houses that look almost exactly the same as the adjacent track homes, but with bigger lots and not part of any HOA and sells off the homes.


Cash in on the new construction AND troll a HOA in one fell swoop? Brilliant.
 
2013-01-14 04:53:59 PM
That is a fantastic phone call. Do listen to it.
 
2013-01-14 04:54:27 PM

ShadowkahnCRX: If you were shopping for a house, would you be willing to pay more for a place you were looking at when you saw that the neighbor had 49 pink flamingos in the yard, a bright green house with pink trim, and a rusty old truck up on blocks in the tall grass?


How would you pay more? Wouldn't you just pay what the value of the house is? Those who buy an HOA house have to pay more. Monthly.
 
2013-01-14 04:54:32 PM
Sigh. Should have read all the comments.

But seriously this is is like the textbook example of a shiatty manager.

Just stupid enough to not realize how stupid he is and a fanatical desire for power.
 
2013-01-14 04:54:51 PM

the_celt: After listening to the recorded phone conversation, I believe this clown is a Sovereign Citizen and doesn't fully understand the 1st Amendment at all.

/currently live in an HOA
//hate it
///will actually be moving to the Evansville area in the future
////NOT Stonecreek!!


That's one the best things about Evansville, You can still find a nice house in a nice neighborhood without an HOA. Inbox me, I can get you the name and info of a good realtor.
 
2013-01-14 04:56:40 PM

Private_Citizen: I've owned houses in two areas without HOAs, and one with them. The one with an HOA (the current one) is a much nicer place to live.

Without an HOA, I've dealt with neighbors who:

- had a garage sale every Fri, Sat and Sun.
- one who built a stone monstrosity in their backyard and topped it with a full sized Teepee
-people who so badly maintained their outbuildings that the termites collapsed them
-even people who expressed their creativity by painting trippy murals on their fence
-and, of course, loud music, yelling, parties, etc at all times of day and night.

I'm sure every homeowner has their own nightmare neighbor stories. Yes, an HOA can be missued by petty tyrants (Stonecreek) but with decent people, they protect the interests of the decent people.


As long as they didn't do any of those things on MY property, I'd have problems with absolutely none of them. What they do on their own property is their own business.

Still, I suppose busybodies will be busybodies.
 
2013-01-14 05:01:10 PM

ShadowkahnCRX: If you were shopping for a house, would you be willing to pay more for a place you were looking at when you saw that the neighbor had 49 pink flamingos in the yard, a bright green house with pink trim, and a rusty old truck up on blocks in the tall grass?


Me.

Because if nobody cares if the neighbor has 49 lawn flamingos and terrible taste in colors (or at least nobody can legally stop him) then nobody is going to be playing petty dictator over my property, either. Freedom is worth a lot to me.
 
2013-01-14 05:01:30 PM

umad: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: These HOA horror stories are largely the exception, not the rule. Most HOAs are run by decent people, and they're set up to ensure that the common areas are maintained and that the mutually-beneficial and agreed-upon covenants are enforced.

None of this matters. Your "nice" HOA can always be turned into one of the "bad" ones after you have been living there for years. The only way to be sure you won't end up in a bad one is to never join any of them.


Yeah, lots of theoreticals could happen in all facets of life but fretting over each one is kind of a shiatty way to live IMO
 
2013-01-14 05:03:39 PM

ph0rk: lohphat: I choose not to live in fear of the future.

Unless it is fear of draconian HOAs taking yer rights, right?

/You sound plenty fearful to me.


I don't seek out HOAs for the same reason I don't seek out tiger attack insurance.
 
2013-01-14 05:04:05 PM
Remember, people who run HOAs aren't actual human beings. They don't feel like a human or have any sort of sentience. So you can't really deal with them like you're dealing with a person.
 
2013-01-14 05:05:46 PM

ModeratelyProfane: the_celt: After listening to the recorded phone conversation, I believe this clown is a Sovereign Citizen and doesn't fully understand the 1st Amendment at all.

/currently live in an HOA
//hate it
///will actually be moving to the Evansville area in the future
////NOT Stonecreek!!

That's one the best things about Evansville, You can still find a nice house in a nice neighborhood without an HOA. Inbox me, I can get you the name and info of a good realtor.


I actually work with someone that has lived there since they were born. They have offered to be of service when the time comes.
I would love to get a fellow Fark members input but alas, you have no EIP.
I however, do have EIP.

/currently live in Owensboring... :-(
//nice to see a fellow Farker living nearby..
 
2013-01-14 05:05:50 PM

ModeratelyProfane: SH: I was truly amazed when I ctrl+F'ed this thread and saw zero mentions of the HOA's website.

http://stonecreekhoa.org

Unfortunately you need to be logged in to "contact us".

Wrong StoneCreek. That one is in florida


No, Charlottesville, Via.

HOAs are the blessed crucible of self-rule, direct democracy, and good citizenship.
 
2013-01-14 05:08:31 PM
My parents brought me up in a house with an HOA.

Given the choice between living in another one and living in an RV by the river, I'd choose something with a Toyota or Ford engine and upgrade the interior lights to LEDs.
 
2013-01-14 05:09:52 PM
I eagerly await the results of the Evansville Courier & Press anonymous poll of Stonecreek residents regarding the size of Stonecreek HOA President Stephen Hess' genitalia.

Most similar to:
(A) two eggs and a banana.
(B) two grapes and a plantain.
(C) two peas and a cashew nut
(D) smaller than all the above.
 
2013-01-14 05:09:52 PM
I dont think HOAs would be such a problem if instead of lording over people they actually tried to work with them. Instead of a threating letter right off the bat how about a phone call or stop by. Small things like that would probably help in the long run.
 
2013-01-14 05:11:48 PM
"If (realtors) cared about this, which they don't, they would be establishing policies....

The idea likely would encounter resistance.


Of course it would be resisted. It would mean an agent might actually have to do some work beyond copy & pasting listing text "classic finishes, plenty of natural light, well manicured lawn" and posting some iphone pics she took that morning onto MLS.


/PS - put me into the "death before HOA" camp. no thanks.
 
2013-01-14 05:12:22 PM

ArgusRun: Yay. Phone call between the reporter and Hess:

Link


This is absolute comedy gold. Take a shot every time the HOA guy says 'sue' or gets a legal term wrong.
 
2013-01-14 05:12:50 PM
Meh, my house isn't in an HOA and I'm not bothered by anything my neighbors do.  Admittedly I'm more likely to be the person that bothers them,  though.

That shed on my property?  Yes, it's an eyesore.  No, I don't know what's in it.  I figure the termites will just finish it off in a few years, and then, hey, problem solved.
 
2013-01-14 05:13:21 PM

SpiderQueenDemon: ArgusRun: Yay. Phone call between the reporter and Hess:

Link

This is absolute comedy gold. Take a shot every time the HOA guy says 'sue' or gets a legal term wrong.


Most people would be dead within the first minute.
 
2013-01-14 05:13:30 PM

Slaves2Darkness: Elzar: I've lived in an HOA, it was an outrage! My property value didn't go down, my neighbors weren't allowed to park their broke down cars on the front lawn and I wasn't even able to call the cops on my neighbors for them not blasting music into the wee hours of the morning.

I know I mean who wants to get to know their neighbors? To discuss with them like rational adults about neighborhood concerns like broken down cars and loud music. No better to sign away your rights and have other people enforce codes so you can continue to be the farking coward you are.


Both of you sound angry.
 
2013-01-14 05:15:06 PM

grimlock1972: Stonecreek, H.O.A.
Stonecreek, H.O.A.
Stonecreek, H.O.A.
Stonecreek, H.O.A.
Stonecreek, H.O.A.
Stonecreek, H.O.A.


Nothing happens here.
 
2013-01-14 05:17:44 PM

Cornelius Dribble: Private_Citizen: I've owned houses in two areas without HOAs, and one with them. The one with an HOA (the current one) is a much nicer place to live.

Without an HOA, I've dealt with neighbors who:

- had a garage sale every Fri, Sat and Sun.
- one who built a stone monstrosity in their backyard and topped it with a full sized Teepee
-people who so badly maintained their outbuildings that the termites collapsed them
-even people who expressed their creativity by painting trippy murals on their fence
-and, of course, loud music, yelling, parties, etc at all times of day and night.

I'm sure every homeowner has their own nightmare neighbor stories. Yes, an HOA can be missued by petty tyrants (Stonecreek) but with decent people, they protect the interests of the decent people.

As long as they didn't do any of those things on MY property, I'd have problems with absolutely none of them. What they do on their own property is their own business.

Still, I suppose busybodies will be busybodies.


If someone is having three "garage sales" a week they are basically running at thrift store out of their garage. You'd really be ok with that next door to you? With cars parked in front of your house all day every weekend and lots of foot traffic? Sure, it wouldn't be the end of the world but I would not want that next to me.

What you do on your own property is only your business until it impacts your neighbors. The world is not as black and white as that statement implies IMHO.
 
2013-01-14 05:19:24 PM

Mr_Fabulous: I was the president of a condo HOA once. Didn't want the job, really... but I was already on the board as VP when the president of 12 years quit in a huff.

Some dumbass actually called me in the middle of the night because there was a raccoon on his back steps. I advised him to throw things at it and make loud noises.


As long as you don't keep chickens and the raccoon doesn't have a key to your house, the proper response to seeing a raccoon is "Oh. A raccoon. Now I'll go back to what I was doing."

//if you have an HOA you probably don't keep chickens
 
2013-01-14 05:20:55 PM

ph0rk: lohphat: Elzar: I've lived in an HOA, it was an outrage! My property value didn't go down, my neighbors weren't allowed to park their broke down cars on the front lawn and I wasn't even able to call the cops on my neighbors for them not blasting music into the wee hours of the morning.

My home value has doubled since purchase in 1999. I don't have your problems and I don't have to ask anyone what color I can paint my house or what my front garden looks like.

Solution: don't live near hillbillies.

You have no control over how your neighborhood may chance 10, 15 years from now.

Unless you have an HOA and participate in it, of course, then you do.


There's no HOA where I live but we do have these wacky things known as "ordinances". "Ordinances" are pretty neat, they address many of the same issues that HOA regs do but I don't have to pay twice (property taxes and HOA fees). And I get the added bonus of legal recourse, not b.s. arbitration decided by an arbitrator chosen by your HOA board.
 
2013-01-14 05:21:10 PM

lohphat: ph0rk: lohphat: I choose not to live in fear of the future.

Unless it is fear of draconian HOAs taking yer rights, right?

/You sound plenty fearful to me.

I don't seek out HOAs for the same reason I don't seek out tiger attack insurance.


You had better seek out fresh fruit attack insurance.
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2013-01-14 05:22:11 PM

Jument: If someone is having three "garage sales" a week they are basically running at thrift store out of their garage. You'd really be ok with that next door to you? With cars parked in front of your house all day every weekend and lots of foot traffic? Sure, it wouldn't be the end of the world but I would not want that next to me.


If this is happening there is no HOA action needed. Municipalities have laws that require licensing of Garage Sales and limit the number to three or so a year (at least here in Indiana). That's because garage sales can be an end run around retail laws. If it is a real problem just rat them out... those laws are there to deal with garage sale abusers.
 
2013-01-14 05:23:42 PM

FormlessOne: dahmers love zombie: I like how the news site's very next line after reprinting the "don't use the name Stonecreek" email was:

'A powerful tool'

LOL.

Yeah, I love that little "coincidental" heading. Hess does appear to be an appalling pissant of a person.

However, that's what you get when you sign into an HOA - the very real possibility of being forced not just to keep your property in a certain manner, but actually told how you should live portions of your life, too.

If you're stupid enough to sign onto an HOA, you deserve everything you get, honestly. I find it bizarre that HOAs are still prevalent enough, given their abuses over the last two decades, to warrant regular Fark postings about some new petty tyranny related to them.


They're common because they're a solution to a fundamental American problem. No one in America wants to live near poor people, but no one in America wants to openly prevent poor people from moving to good neighborhoods either. So Americans use ownership of low density housing to implictly prevent poor people from moving into their neighborhoods and via land use rules prevent high density housing from moving into low density neighborhoods.

However it's expensive to provide all sorts of services to low density neighborhoods, so to prevent the lucky SOBs who got to low density housing first (because they have the political power in these areas) the political jurisdiction forces developers of later housing to provide the services that would normally be provided by the jurisdiction (and the mechanism to provide these services is typically an HOA). That they provide a suitable job for the lay-about brother-in-law of the developer is a bonus (and the developer rarely cares about enabling little dictator or not.
 
2013-01-14 05:23:46 PM

"He don't have any professional skills talking to people,..."

Payton agreed, saying Hess "talked awful to me..."

"Furthermore, this notice also requires you not to at any measure mention anything regarding my name, any resident of Stonecreek, NOR will we ALLOW any of your printing in any article.... If we find/discover you have mentioned Stonecreek in any legal matter their (sic) will be action..."


Bunch of geniuses in this neighborhood.
 
2013-01-14 05:25:01 PM
I like that the HOA guy keeps using the world "slander" in his conversation.

indigoMontoyadoesthinkitmeanswhatyouthinkitmeans.jpg.
 
2013-01-14 05:25:17 PM

ph0rk: Lethargic_Apathy: ph0rk: motorized inflated cats

Where do I sign up?

Not as cool as it sounds:

[www.meijer.com image 400x400]


I am totally buying an inflatable motorized cat for next Halloween. That looks awesome.

/I'm sure there are reasonable people running HOAs somewhere
//I'm also not going to take a chance living in one because my fondness for tacky lawn decor is just a bit too strong
 
2013-01-14 05:27:17 PM

MikeMc: ph0rk: lohphat: Elzar: I've lived in an HOA, it was an outrage! My property value didn't go down, my neighbors weren't allowed to park their broke down cars on the front lawn and I wasn't even able to call the cops on my neighbors for them not blasting music into the wee hours of the morning.

My home value has doubled since purchase in 1999. I don't have your problems and I don't have to ask anyone what color I can paint my house or what my front garden looks like.

Solution: don't live near hillbillies.

You have no control over how your neighborhood may chance 10, 15 years from now.

Unless you have an HOA and participate in it, of course, then you do.

There's no HOA where I live but we do have these wacky things known as "ordinances". "Ordinances" are pretty neat, they address many of the same issues that HOA regs do but I don't have to pay twice (property taxes and HOA fees). And I get the added bonus of legal recourse, not b.s. arbitration decided by an arbitrator chosen by your HOA board.


HOA's add ticky tack shiat on top of ordinances at the boards discretion.
 
2013-01-14 05:27:58 PM

HammerHeadSnark: OtherLittleGuy: Who knew Dino MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMM Zaffina became a HOA President?

Jebus Cripes, man! Do you wanna get sued? It's Dino M. Zaffina!

You better hope he isn't lurking here today!

What a Dino M. Zaffina might look like:
[i995.photobucket.com image 500x375]


He's certainly not mellowing as he ages
 
2013-01-14 05:28:02 PM

Cheron: I have a dream that one day I will buy the lot next to a planned community with a HOA. They will have white houses with black doors and mailboxes in the same shade of brown all 34.25 inches from the ground. My house will be painted two colors and the door will have large polka dots and the mailbox will be something I made while learning to weld. When they look at me the will see the freedom they can never taste


I would SO post a pic of peewee's playhouse if i could from my phone...
 
2013-01-14 05:28:03 PM
Sec. 121-22. - Storage of junk, refuse and disabled or damaged motor vehicles.

The open storage of junk, refuse, scrap, disabled or damaged motor vehicles, whether awaiting repair or not, is declared to be a public nuisance and is prohibited in all zoning districts.


Look at that, didn't even need an HOA to prohibit my neighbor from parking a junk car on his lawn.
 
2013-01-14 05:28:28 PM

Guadior42: Rob and Laura Approve...

[www.geektress.com image 480x220]
/X-Files Arcadia


Yup. First thing I thought of, too. Especially after the line about the basketball hoop in the driveway.

i40.tinypic.com
 
2013-01-14 05:30:04 PM

Jument: Cornelius Dribble: Private_Citizen: I've owned houses in two areas without HOAs, and one with them. The one with an HOA (the current one) is a much nicer place to live.

Without an HOA, I've dealt with neighbors who:

- had a garage sale every Fri, Sat and Sun.
- one who built a stone monstrosity in their backyard and topped it with a full sized Teepee
-people who so badly maintained their outbuildings that the termites collapsed them
-even people who expressed their creativity by painting trippy murals on their fence
-and, of course, loud music, yelling, parties, etc at all times of day and night.

I'm sure every homeowner has their own nightmare neighbor stories. Yes, an HOA can be missued by petty tyrants (Stonecreek) but with decent people, they protect the interests of the decent people.

As long as they didn't do any of those things on MY property, I'd have problems with absolutely none of them. What they do on their own property is their own business.

Still, I suppose busybodies will be busybodies.

If someone is having three "garage sales" a week they are basically running at thrift store out of their garage. You'd really be ok with that next door to you? With cars parked in front of your house all day every weekend and lots of foot traffic? Sure, it wouldn't be the end of the world but I would not want that next to me.

What you do on your own property is only your business until it impacts your neighbors. The world is not as black and white as that statement implies IMHO.


Why would you need an HOA to get involved with that? Simply call the police and tell them they've established a store without a license
 
2013-01-14 05:31:33 PM

vudukungfu: Satanic_Hamster: Honestly surprised we don't hear about more HOA guys like that being murdered by a lynch mob

Does anyone have any extra bags?


Heh, loved that scene. Jonah Hill was awesome. Only way that scene could have been better is if they also had Seth Rogen.
 
2013-01-14 05:32:01 PM

mgshamster: ShadowkahnCRX: If you were shopping for a house, would you be willing to pay more for a place you were looking at when you saw that the neighbor had 49 pink flamingos in the yard, a bright green house with pink trim, and a rusty old truck up on blocks in the tall grass?

How would you pay more? Wouldn't you just pay what the value of the house is? Those who buy an HOA house have to pay more. Monthly.


This. if your HOA is $120/mo (going off one of the only numbers in this thread), that's an extra $21.6k on a 15 year. Even if NOT for the busybody aspect, you'd be an idiot not to take the additional cost into account.
 
2013-01-14 05:35:05 PM
The last thing I noticed the HOA doing in our neighborhood was re-landscaping the medians to be more drought-tolerant. Oh, and they bought $1000 worth of exercise equipment for the year-round swim team to use for dry-land exercises (I have two kids on that team).

Horrifying.
 
2013-01-14 05:35:41 PM

cameroncrazy1984:
Why would you need an HOA to get involved with that? Simply call the police and tell them they've established a store without a license


In many municipalities across the U.S., funding for the police departments has undergone significant cutbacks. If you complain about a store without a license, they'll take your information and put it at the very bottom of the priority list, which essentially means that it will never be seen again.
 
2013-01-14 05:37:11 PM
I'm the Resident Manager (glorified maintenance man) of some condos with an HOA, and most of the time, it's quite casual: common sense, logical stuff. Of course, it's multifamily vacation condos, so they KNOW they're getting into an HOA.

We did have one Chairman who got a bit Napoleanic, but his neighbors talked him into quitting. Stopped by for a few drinks and a good talking-to, was all it took.

Every time we do this thread on HOA horror stories, we get lots of HOA residents who are perfectly OK with theirs. I guess it depends on the people---both residents and board members. I got lucky; sucks to be Stonecreek!
 
2013-01-14 05:37:34 PM

Atomic Spunk: In many municipalities across the U.S., funding for the police departments has undergone significant cutbacks. If you complain about a store without a license, they'll take your information and put it at the very bottom of the priority list, which essentially means that it will never be seen again.


Heh. I've seen the opposite; with tax revenue down, they REALLY like to go after people like that. See, THOSE types of criminals are denying the cities/states their fees and tax revenue.
 
2013-01-14 05:37:59 PM

Atomic Spunk: cameroncrazy1984:
Why would you need an HOA to get involved with that? Simply call the police and tell them they've established a store without a license

In many municipalities across the U.S., funding for the police departments has undergone significant cutbacks. If you complain about a store without a license, they'll take your information and put it at the very bottom of the priority list, which essentially means that it will never be seen again.


And who will stop the rouge garage sale menace if not the fearless HOA board I ask you?
 
2013-01-14 05:38:35 PM
I'm the dreaded lawn guy you all live near. My yard is weeds and during the summer it turns brown as I don't water. I keep it trimmed after the first mowing, although I tend to let it get a little tall before the first mowing. I even think dandelions look cool ... well the yellow part at least. I just don't understand or care about that. So there is no way I'd fit into a HOA.

So I made sure to not get into a house that had one. I might consider it if they did the lawn of all homes, but still unlikely. The city has rules that several people have mentioned in this thread, such as grass height, noise, fences, buildings, etc so don't really see the purpose there either.

Personally I think people should just mind their own business and be a little more accepting of others differences. Yes the neon blue house at the end of the block is ugly IMHO, but it's unique. It also makes directions super simple. Just go down the main street until you see the glow in the dark house and turn right.
 
FNG [TotalFark]
2013-01-14 05:42:49 PM
I live in a community with an HoA, and it's pretty hard not to if you live 3 miles from DC.

Our HoA fees are pretty high, but generally they keep to themselves. Mostly people completely ignore them in terms of doing your own landscaping or home improvements.

The only time I've had an issue with them was when the dual colossal snow storms hit a couple years ago. We weren't plowed for several days, and I really let the president have it. He retorted (in a public forum) that they spend 13k a year just to have a plow service on retainer, and it's another 30k to have them actually plow and shovel the sidewalks. I told him for 43k I would plow and shovel out the entire neighborhood and he never replied.

They do a great job of keeping things tidy, the lawns clipped, and responding to other problems. Other than the plowing thing, they're ok, especially compared to this DB.
 
2013-01-14 05:47:12 PM

Meepzoid: Every time we do this thread on HOA horror stories, we get lots of HOA residents who are perfectly OK with theirs. I guess it depends on the people---both residents and board members. I got lucky; sucks to be Stonecreek!


I think it's generally accepted that while the vast majority of HOA's aren't farking retarded, there's enough that are or that a current one *could* turn retarded that get people to distrust them. For most people, purchasing a house is the biggest financial transaction of their life and people don't like the idea of their 80 year old retarded neighbor having veto power on the color of your drapes.
 
2013-01-14 05:50:13 PM

waterrockets: The last thing I noticed the HOA doing in our neighborhood was re-landscaping the medians to be more drought-tolerant. Oh, and they bought $1000 worth of exercise equipment for the year-round swim team to use for dry-land exercises (I have two kids on that team).

Horrifying.


And what about the households without team members? Why should the HOA be funding an elective activity not related to property maintenance?
 
2013-01-14 05:50:43 PM
Just to repost it because it's soooooooooooooooooooo much better than the article

http://www.courierpress.com/videos/detail/a-conversation-with-stonecr e ek-hoa-president-steph/

Absolute must listen
 
2013-01-14 05:52:38 PM

fruitloop: [i171.photobucket.com image 146x188]


+eleventy
 
2013-01-14 05:55:22 PM

MikeMc: There's no HOA where I live but we do have these wacky things known as "ordinances". "Ordinances" are pretty neat, they address many of the same issues that HOA regs do but I don't have to pay twice (property taxes and HOA fees). And I get the added bonus of legal recourse, not b.s. arbitration decided by an arbitrator chosen by your HOA board.


In Colorado you can't build a development unless it is controled by an HOA anymore.

In reality it serves the same function as ordinances but the local cops or code enforcement aren't needed to enforce them, they get people to do it for free!

Mine isn't too bad. Includes snow removal and landscaping (grass watering) for the common areas and trails plus access to the community center which has a pool (with lifegaurds) and a workout room. I can understand why some people would be opposed to it but in some areas you don't have a choice unless you want to live in farmville.
 
2013-01-14 05:55:44 PM

fusillade762: Guadior42: Rob and Laura Approve...

[www.geektress.com image 480x220]
/X-Files Arcadia

Yup. First thing I thought of, too. Especially after the line about the basketball hoop in the driveway.

[i40.tinypic.com image 840x486]


My first thought as well.

/There's Glade under the sink
 
2013-01-14 05:56:10 PM

Atomic Spunk: cameroncrazy1984:
Why would you need an HOA to get involved with that? Simply call the police and tell them they've established a store without a license

In many municipalities across the U.S., funding for the police departments has undergone significant cutbacks. If you complain about a store without a license, they'll take your information and put it at the very bottom of the priority list, which essentially means that it will never be seen again.


If it's as much of a nuisance as that then you won't be the only one calling in. If you're the only one who has a problem with it, perhaps they aren't the problem?
 
2013-01-14 05:59:07 PM

MikeMc: Atomic Spunk: cameroncrazy1984:
Why would you need an HOA to get involved with that? Simply call the police and tell them they've established a store without a license

In many municipalities across the U.S., funding for the police departments has undergone significant cutbacks. If you complain about a store without a license, they'll take your information and put it at the very bottom of the priority list, which essentially means that it will never be seen again.

And who will stop the rouge garage sale menace if not the fearless HOA board I ask you?


Hey, if they're selling makeup, who am I to judge them?
 
2013-01-14 05:59:48 PM
The only thing that would have made TFA better:

"Stonecreek HOA President Stephen Hess - whom we will refer to as Mister Nanny Nanny Boo-Boo - ... ... ..."
 
2013-01-14 06:00:46 PM

nekom: ajgeek: And people BUY INTO IT!

That's the real puzzling part.  I don't get what the upshot is.  I suppose if you REALLY loved conformity and wanted to live in a neighborhood where the houses all look the same.  Can't really see why it would appeal to anyone.  I've got a pickup truck without plates in my yard just for driving around on my property, I've got two septic tanks still in the ground, I cut my grass when the mood strikes me.  I wouldn't last a week in an HOA environment.


So what you are saying is that you are the reason for HOAs. People just don't want you living next to them. HOAs are what you get when you have "collective" busybody control. People who complain about HOAs yet still live in them are only complaining because they aren't in charge. But having someone in charge and enforcing the rules is just fine.

/Live in a townhouse with a HOA
//Don't complain about it. No problems with the officers in 14 years.
///Like the commercial insurance we share, have a nice repair budget for future expenses like replacing the roof on all the units, redoing the sidewalks, etc...
////Not sure what that says about me - maybe I'm a latent communist.
 
2013-01-14 06:04:25 PM

MadHatter500: nekom: ajgeek: And people BUY INTO IT!

That's the real puzzling part.  I don't get what the upshot is.  I suppose if you REALLY loved conformity and wanted to live in a neighborhood where the houses all look the same.  Can't really see why it would appeal to anyone.  I've got a pickup truck without plates in my yard just for driving around on my property, I've got two septic tanks still in the ground, I cut my grass when the mood strikes me.  I wouldn't last a week in an HOA environment.

So what you are saying is that you are the reason for HOAs. People just don't want you living next to them. HOAs are what you get when you have "collective" busybody control. People who complain about HOAs yet still live in them are only complaining because they aren't in charge. But having someone in charge and enforcing the rules is just fine.

/Live in a townhouse with a HOA
//Don't complain about it. No problems with the officers in 14 years.
///Like the commercial insurance we share, have a nice repair budget for future expenses like replacing the roof on all the units, redoing the sidewalks, etc...
////Not sure what that says about me - maybe I'm a latent communist.


There's a wee bit of difference between a townhouse where you have a common structure and areas and a single-family dwelling where the guy on the other side of the block visibly shakes when beige paint is a little too beige.
 
2013-01-14 06:05:27 PM

Jument: Cornelius Dribble: Private_Citizen: I've owned houses in two areas without HOAs, and one with them. The one with an HOA (the current one) is a much nicer place to live.

Without an HOA, I've dealt with neighbors who:

- had a garage sale every Fri, Sat and Sun.
- one who built a stone monstrosity in their backyard and topped it with a full sized Teepee
-people who so badly maintained their outbuildings that the termites collapsed them
-even people who expressed their creativity by painting trippy murals on their fence
-and, of course, loud music, yelling, parties, etc at all times of day and night.

I'm sure every homeowner has their own nightmare neighbor stories. Yes, an HOA can be missued by petty tyrants (Stonecreek) but with decent people, they protect the interests of the decent people.

As long as they didn't do any of those things on MY property, I'd have problems with absolutely none of them. What they do on their own property is their own business.

Still, I suppose busybodies will be busybodies.

If someone is having three "garage sales" a week they are basically running at thrift store out of their garage. You'd really be ok with that next door to you? With cars parked in front of your house all day every weekend and lots of foot traffic? Sure, it wouldn't be the end of the world but I would not want that next to me.

What you do on your own property is only your business until it impacts your neighbors. The world is not as black and white as that statement implies IMHO.


So you're not only against private property, you're also against free enterprise. Again, as long as they're not using my garage and their customers are not parked in my driveway, I don't see the problem. My father ran a fishing tackle repair and sales business out of his home for years, and he got along perfectly fine with the neighbors.
 
2013-01-14 06:05:52 PM
"Furthermore, this notice also requires you not to at any measure mention anything regarding my name, any resident of Stonecreek, NOR will we ALLOW any of your printing in any article regarding Stonecreek at any time in any publication," the message stated. "You will be held liable for any violations of this letter and notice/request in this email. If we find/discover you have mentioned Stonecreek in any legal matter their (sic) will be action toward yourself as well as any print paper you represent in the media article.

"You may contact any HOA in the County of Vanderburgh, the State of Indiana, but Stonecreek will not PERMIT OR ALLOW YOU our legal name in any future article."


/HAHAHHAAHAH....fark YOU you ignorant rule nazi. First of all, a microchip in a dog has NOTHING TO DO with property value at all, and thus you can stick that one up your ass with all the other rules you pulled out of it. And I'm not even going to address the freedom of speech violations. They are free to say whatever they want, as long as they can back it up, which it looks like they can do. It's not slander if they can prove you are a jackbooted nazi stormtrooper high stepping around the hood like Herman Goering waving your rules around like a little replacement for your obviously sub standard whang . Your arbitrary rules aren't enforceable, and you are a power hungry moran. Go suck a fat donkey pipe.
 
2013-01-14 06:06:32 PM

Oznog: ajgeek: I swear to god HOAs are lawyers collective attempt to become ruler of their own little country. And people BUY INTO IT!

/you could pay me to live in an HOA
//it would have to be a lot of money, but you could pay me.

So apparently like 49/300 didn't pay their dues...

Well, correct me if I'm wrong, you can simply vote to DISSOLVE the HOA, right?


No, not really. Although I got rid of the tin-pot clowns in the first HOA I lived in by threatening to do the same thing. It cost me about $50 to print up "HOA Meeting to convert HOA board to grounds maintenance committee" flyers and an hour to stick one in every mail box. I got outrage from the HOA board, laughs from the neighbors, and the next election every single HOA board member was voted out.

And that is the key to this farking story. This clown was elected. These people got what they asked for, so fark them.
 
2013-01-14 06:06:34 PM
Having lived in 2 HOA communities and my current non-HOA one, I have to admit that the annoyance from something one my current neighbors might do has yet to ever come close to the anger generated by a letter from the HOA informing me of a minor infraction.
 
2013-01-14 06:07:09 PM
This just in,

The people who WANT to run HOAs are the same people who WANT to be congresspersons, who WANT to be abusive cops and who WANT to be the president of the [enter any given structured organization here] and for the same reasons.

So, lets go back to 101. How do you kill a leviathan? You starve a leviathan. That's how.

Stop signing up for Bergen Belsen and expecting Martha's Vineyard. Nobody ever had their "lifestyle improved" by sitting in their living rooms under a microscope with some busybody, dime store Mussolini peering into the other end.
 
2013-01-14 06:09:59 PM
If you pay my mortgage, you can tell me what to do with my house.
If not, f*ck off and die. Mind your own goddamn business.
 
2013-01-14 06:10:13 PM
Stonecreek HOA President Stephen Hess sounds like a real Nazi.


Stonecreek, H.O.A.
Stonecreek, H.O.A.
Stonecreek, H.O.A.
Stonecreek, H.O.A.
Stonecreek, H.O.A.
Stonecreek, H.O.A.
Stonecreek, H.O.A.
Stonecreek, H.O.A.
Stonecreek, H.O.A.
Stonecreek, H.O.A.
Stonecreek, H.O.A.
Stonecreek, H.O.A.
 
2013-01-14 06:11:37 PM

rewind2846: If you pay my mortgage, you can tell me what to do with my house.
If not, f*ck off and die. Mind your own goddamn business.


This just in: Regardless of the existance of an HOA, there is someone telling you, to some degree what you can do with your house.
 
2013-01-14 06:14:43 PM

JuicePats: HammerHeadSnark: OtherLittleGuy: Who knew Dino MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMM Zaffina became a HOA President?

Jebus Cripes, man! Do you wanna get sued? It's Dino M. Zaffina!

You better hope he isn't lurking here today!

What a Dino M. Zaffina might look like:
[i995.photobucket.com image 500x375]

He's certainly not mellowing as he ages


I think that's because "moronitude" isn't like the flu. You can get over the flu, but being a maroon is something that can't be cured by modern medical science.

I'm pleased he appears to be getting his panties all bunched up though it's a bit dangerous to even mention his name in a public forum. When he first became a fark target if you went to his website and said something that ruffled his feathers, he'd put you on his "I'm suing you" list.

Some farker did just that . . . and hilarity did *not* ensue.
 
2013-01-14 06:14:47 PM

Atomic Spunk: cameroncrazy1984: Atomic Spunk: cameroncrazy1984:
Why would you need an HOA to get involved with that? Simply call the police and tell them they've established a store without a license

In many municipalities across the U.S., funding for the police departments has undergone significant cutbacks. If you complain about a store without a license, they'll take your information and put it at the very bottom of the priority list, which essentially means that it will never be seen again.

If it's as much of a nuisance as that then you won't be the only one calling in. If you're the only one who has a problem with it, perhaps they aren't the problem?

I answered a question that someone else asked. All I did was comment that most police departments don't really give a crap about complaints of neighbors running a store without a license. I didn't complain about my neighbors, you stupid idiot. Kindly take your ridiculous question and shove it up you ass.


"There's a lot of people coming and going from my neighbor's home. Some of them are walking around with cash."
 
2013-01-14 06:15:02 PM
upload.wikimedia.org

RIH Rudolf Hess and all other Nazischweine.
 
2013-01-14 06:16:22 PM
What's funny is I live in this city (seriously). I know exactly where Stonecreek is - it's on the north side, full of upper middle class yuppies who want to live close enough to city limits for all the services, but just outside the city for tax reasons.

Fark every one of those little pricks.
 
2013-01-14 06:19:06 PM

Citrate1007: HoA's tend to be ran by Tea Party types that get off on their micro-fascist power trips.


I'm sure you love to inject politics into everything, and I'm sure it works out for you. And since a liberal mind is very fragile, ill be very gentle.

Despite a tea partier being bat shiat crazy, they enjoy their crazy because there is LESS government to rule over them, not more. To have more government so that you can stop thinking for yourself and recuse yourself of personal responsibility; that is a Liberal disease.
 
2013-01-14 06:22:04 PM

Citrate1007: HoA's tend to be ran by Tea Party types that get off on their micro-fascist power trips.


.
Want to know how I know you have never left your parent's house?
 
2013-01-14 06:22:34 PM
UPDATE: Stonecreek HOA god's home burned down by flaming bag of poo on front porch.
 
2013-01-14 06:23:23 PM
sseH nehpetS sounds like a real jackass. I'd hate for him to be my teacher, father, etc. I bet he's a lousy father, too.
 
2013-01-14 06:24:54 PM

Fade2black: Citrate1007: HoA's tend to be ran by Tea Party types that get off on their micro-fascist power trips.

I'm sure you love to inject politics into everything, and I'm sure it works out for you. And since a liberal mind is very fragile, ill be very gentle.

Despite a tea partier being bat shiat crazy, they enjoy their crazy because there is LESS government to rule over them, not more. To have more government so that you can stop thinking for yourself and recuse yourself of personal responsibility; that is a Liberal disease.


Stop that. It's silly.
 
2013-01-14 06:26:59 PM
HOAs aren't just a nuisance. They are a lethal menace.

I recall an incident about ten years ago where some HOA bigshot visited a new homeowner's house. Saw that he lived alone and had a large collection of Disney videos and Disney toys.

To the average person, you'd think the guy was likely just some fanboy neckbeard nerd who really liked Disney stuff, but to the HOA Despot? Oooooooooh no! The guy was immediately branded as a CHILD MOLESTER!

This began years of nonstop and merciless harassment by the HOA. From smear campaigns around the neighborhood that he was a child snatcher and god knows what else, and eventually the poor guy finally snapped when the HOA tried to take possession of his house and evict him. He sealed himself up inside, the SWAT team was called in, and several hours of standoff later, he set fire to his own home and blew his brains out.

All this, because of some vile little HOA Sh*thead.

I used to think that debt collectors were the worst of the worst, but HOA Despots really do seem to give some serious competition for "who deserves this bullet more?".
 
2013-01-14 06:28:11 PM
www.claremontportside.com

It takes a nation of douchebags to hold us back!
 
2013-01-14 06:28:30 PM

TV's Vinnie: I recall an incident about ten years ago where some HOA bigshot visited a new homeowner's house. Saw that he lived alone and had a large collection of Disney videos and Disney toys.

To the average person, you'd think the guy was likely just some fanboy neckbeard nerd who really liked Disney stuff, but to the HOA Despot? Oooooooooh no! The guy was immediately branded as a CHILD MOLESTER!

This began years of nonstop and merciless harassment by the HOA. From smear campaigns around the neighborhood that he was a child snatcher and god knows what else, and eventually the poor guy finally snapped when the HOA tried to take possession of his house and evict him. He sealed himself up inside, the SWAT team was called in, and several hours of standoff later, he set fire to his own home and blew his brains out.


Sounds like bullshiat.
 
2013-01-14 06:29:23 PM
Mt gf's old rental had a HOA. They left her notes about everything. I should say one guy did. I figured out who it was and over the course of several weeks did some reverse renovations to his home. Pink and purple paint. Broken down mailbox and gutters. Moved cars with dollies in the night, had a friend ( who happened to work for the contracted agency ) tow them and impound them.  Miraculously things stopped being so naziesque and it became a friendly neighborhood.

We moved to a non HOA house anyways.
 
2013-01-14 06:33:12 PM

Fade2black: Citrate1007: HoA's tend to be ran by Tea Party types that get off on their micro-fascist power trips.

I'm sure you love to inject politics into everything, and I'm sure it works out for you. And since a liberal mind is very fragile, ill be very gentle.

Despite a tea partier being bat shiat crazy, they enjoy their crazy because there is LESS government to rule over them, not more. To have more government so that you can stop thinking for yourself and recuse yourself of personal responsibility; that is a Liberal disease.


Much as it's "conservative" to move Federal responsibilities back the states, wouldn't it logically be conservative to move the City's responsibilities to the Neighborhood.

I'm curious, would you consider it conservative or liberal to dissolve the states and hand everything to the Feds? The final entity would have wider reach than any today, but there would only be one government instead of 51, which is arguably a reduction in the scope of the bureaucracy, right? Or do you agree that the trend of moving governing to local, smaller (and by virtue of size, more easily corrupted) smaller governments is generally a conservative stance?
 
2013-01-14 06:33:51 PM

TV's Vinnie: HOAs aren't just a nuisance. They are a lethal menace.

I recall an incident about ten years ago where some HOA bigshot visited a new homeowner's house. Saw that he lived alone and had a large collection of Disney videos and Disney toys.

To the average person, you'd think the guy was likely just some fanboy neckbeard nerd who really liked Disney stuff, but to the HOA Despot? Oooooooooh no! The guy was immediately branded as a CHILD MOLESTER!

This began years of nonstop and merciless harassment by the HOA. From smear campaigns around the neighborhood that he was a child snatcher and god knows what else, and eventually the poor guy finally snapped when the HOA tried to take possession of his house and evict him. He sealed himself up inside, the SWAT team was called in, and several hours of standoff later, he set fire to his own home and blew his brains out.

All this, because of some vile little HOA Sh*thead.

I used to think that debt collectors were the worst of the worst, but HOA Despots really do seem to give some serious competition for "who deserves this bullet more?".


When and where did this happen?
 
2013-01-14 06:35:18 PM

ProfessorOhki: Or do you agree that the trend of moving governing to local, smaller (and by virtue of size, more easily corrupted) smaller governments is generally a conservative stance?


I'm pretty sure that the present day "conservative" stance is "whatever let's me do as I please, pay no taxes and get rich and everybody else can go blow a dog." I could be mistaken.
 
2013-01-14 06:36:15 PM
minus the apostrophe
 
2013-01-14 06:36:24 PM

bunner: ProfessorOhki: Or do you agree that the trend of moving governing to local, smaller (and by virtue of size, more easily corrupted) smaller governments is generally a conservative stance?

I'm pretty sure that the present day "conservative" stance is "whatever let's me do as I please, pay no taxes and get rich and everybody else can go blow a dog." I could be mistaken.


You forgot "shiat on women, minorities and the gays."
 
2013-01-14 06:39:06 PM

ph0rk: firefly212: My mom lives in an HOA controlled community, but her house was built (and she bought it) before the HOA/Covenants existed. They try all the time to push her around (they don't like her non-brick mailbox), and they were upset when she had her driveway re-done without their permission (asphalt instead of brick or concrete). They've gone as far as trying to file a lien on her house (for dues non-payment).. that was about a 5 minute hearing wherein the HOA was billed for her legal fees after the case was dismissed, as she could prove she was not part of the HOA and not subject to paying dues to them. Basically, I perceive HOAs, despite their ostensible purpose of protecting home values, as a bunch of bored old people who are depressed, so they want to make everyone else as miserable as they are.

In the extremely rare cases where that happens (towns get incorporated in places where there were no towns before, too) she almost certainly had a chance to participate in the HOA, and didn't.

There isn't some elite ninja squad that comes in and covenants up the place.


You are correct, they asked (when forming the HOA) if she would join... she saw no particular benefit to it and declined... they continued to harass her up until they got hit with her lawyers bills every time he had to go to court to prove that she never joined the HOA.
 
2013-01-14 06:39:26 PM

bunner: ProfessorOhki: Or do you agree that the trend of moving governing to local, smaller (and by virtue of size, more easily corrupted) smaller governments is generally a conservative stance?

I'm pretty sure that the present day "conservative" stance is "whatever let's me do as I please, pay no taxes and get rich and everybody else can go blow a dog." I could be mistaken.


And they only like "small government" in theory. In practice, they want a massive government that intrudes into every aspect of your personal life, including who and how you fark.
 
2013-01-14 06:41:03 PM
Stonecreek HOA President Stephen Hess
 
2013-01-14 06:41:37 PM

bunner: minus the apostrophe


No, I'm pretty sure they'd include the apostrophe :)
 
2013-01-14 06:42:49 PM
Holy crap, the phone call they posted with this guy is pure gold.

Link
 
2013-01-14 06:43:21 PM

jst3p: TV's Vinnie: I recall an incident about ten years ago where some HOA bigshot visited a new homeowner's house. Saw that he lived alone and had a large collection of Disney videos and Disney toys.

To the average person, you'd think the guy was likely just some fanboy neckbeard nerd who really liked Disney stuff, but to the HOA Despot? Oooooooooh no! The guy was immediately branded as a CHILD MOLESTER!

This began years of nonstop and merciless harassment by the HOA. From smear campaigns around the neighborhood that he was a child snatcher and god knows what else, and eventually the poor guy finally snapped when the HOA tried to take possession of his house and evict him. He sealed himself up inside, the SWAT team was called in, and several hours of standoff later, he set fire to his own home and blew his brains out.

Sounds like bullshiat.


If you say so. Come up with proof that it didn't happen.
 
2013-01-14 06:44:12 PM

TV's Vinnie: jst3p: TV's Vinnie: I recall an incident about ten years ago where some HOA bigshot visited a new homeowner's house. Saw that he lived alone and had a large collection of Disney videos and Disney toys.

To the average person, you'd think the guy was likely just some fanboy neckbeard nerd who really liked Disney stuff, but to the HOA Despot? Oooooooooh no! The guy was immediately branded as a CHILD MOLESTER!

This began years of nonstop and merciless harassment by the HOA. From smear campaigns around the neighborhood that he was a child snatcher and god knows what else, and eventually the poor guy finally snapped when the HOA tried to take possession of his house and evict him. He sealed himself up inside, the SWAT team was called in, and several hours of standoff later, he set fire to his own home and blew his brains out.

Sounds like bullshiat.

If you say so. Come up with proof that it didn't happen.


I am God. Prove I'm not.

/ Moran.
 
2013-01-14 06:45:38 PM

ElBarto79: Holy crap, the phone call they posted with this guy is pure gold.

Link


It's been posted at least 3 times, and it needs to be posted 3 more, because it's farking hilarious.
 
2013-01-14 06:46:08 PM

TV's Vinnie: jst3p: TV's Vinnie: I recall an incident about ten years ago where some HOA bigshot visited a new homeowner's house. Saw that he lived alone and had a large collection of Disney videos and Disney toys.

To the average person, you'd think the guy was likely just some fanboy neckbeard nerd who really liked Disney stuff, but to the HOA Despot? Oooooooooh no! The guy was immediately branded as a CHILD MOLESTER!

This began years of nonstop and merciless harassment by the HOA. From smear campaigns around the neighborhood that he was a child snatcher and god knows what else, and eventually the poor guy finally snapped when the HOA tried to take possession of his house and evict him. He sealed himself up inside, the SWAT team was called in, and several hours of standoff later, he set fire to his own home and blew his brains out.

Sounds like bullshiat.

If you say so. Come up with proof that it didn't happen.


Are you really this stupid? You are asking me to prove a negative?

Now I am sure it is bullshiat.
 
2013-01-14 06:47:33 PM

Rent Party: I am God. Prove I'm not.


Well, I believe you're God. Where do I send money?
 
2013-01-14 06:48:08 PM

jst3p: Are you really this stupid? You are asking me to prove a negative?


Are YOU really this stupid? You don't have TV's Vinnie on ignore yet?
 
2013-01-14 06:49:37 PM

oh_please: jst3p: Are you really this stupid? You are asking me to prove a negative?

Are YOU really this stupid? You don't have TV's Vinnie on ignore yet?


Well played.
 
2013-01-14 06:50:31 PM

Huck And Molly Ziegler: Rent Party: I am God. Prove I'm not.

Well, I believe you're God. Where do I send money?


I am a better God, I will let you eat pork. I accept pay pal. EiP.
 
2013-01-14 06:50:37 PM

oh_please: jst3p: Are you really this stupid? You are asking me to prove a negative?

Are YOU really this stupid? You don't have TV's Vinnie on ignore yet?


Maybe we could form some sort of governing body and vote on which posts should be allowed. You know, for the community.
 
2013-01-14 06:51:24 PM

jst3p: TV's Vinnie: I recall an incident about ten years ago where some HOA bigshot visited a new homeowner's house. Saw that he lived alone and had a large collection of Disney videos and Disney toys.

To the average person, you'd think the guy was likely just some fanboy neckbeard nerd who really liked Disney stuff, but to the HOA Despot? Oooooooooh no! The guy was immediately branded as a CHILD MOLESTER!

This began years of nonstop and merciless harassment by the HOA. From smear campaigns around the neighborhood that he was a child snatcher and god knows what else, and eventually the poor guy finally snapped when the HOA tried to take possession of his house and evict him. He sealed himself up inside, the SWAT team was called in, and several hours of standoff later, he set fire to his own home and blew his brains out.

Sounds like bullshiat.


Sounds like the guy was a child molester who got found out.
 
2013-01-14 06:51:58 PM

tortilla burger: HOAs can't be described as liberal/conservative because they exist on a different political "axis". It's a question of authoritarian/libertarian.


And liberal/conservative are not a political axis "per se", because there are different types of liberal/conservative, and people can be liberal on some issues while being conservative on others...and some people can be conservative on an issue while acknowledging and allowing others to be liberal about it ("I would not choose abortion for myself, but I would rather the option be open to those that need it.")
 
2013-01-14 06:52:16 PM

GAT_00: HOA's are a fantastic example of the idea that power corrupts.


Pretty much this.

There's not too much wrong with the IDEA of an HOA, or the C&Cs that go along with them--who wants their neighborhood to look like crap? And in most cases, they work fine. The problem is when some petty tyrant uses them to bludgeon his neighbors into compliance with what HE thinks is right (like here), or when a bunch of residents use them to drive one person out of the area because his skin is the wrong hue (like a case I mediated recently).

Not surprisingly, in these cases you'll find that the tyrant knows his small-claims and contract law inside-out and uses it to his advantage; or has the wherewithal to hire some fourth-rate law firm to do the filings for him for a share of the recovery. And always you'll find that these douchebags NEVER want to negotiate or mediate about the cause of the problem--they want their money and they want it now; unless it's a case where they're just being truly petty and its a case of discrimination, like the case I mediated where they were dunning the guy because his wooden fence was painted the wrong shade of white.
 
2013-01-14 06:54:09 PM

Warthog: Sounds like the guy was a child molester who got found out.


Or, you know, just was all arsed up about Disney movies. Did anybody ASK the guy?
 
2013-01-14 06:54:11 PM
 
2013-01-14 06:56:34 PM

Gyrfalcon: There's not too much wrong with the IDEA of an HOA capitalism, socialism, communism, organized religion, juvenile social clubs, fatty foods or an absolute monarchy


FIFY
 
2013-01-14 06:57:05 PM

Rent Party: jst3phark And Molly Ziegler: Rent Party: I am God. Prove I'm not.

Well, I believe you're God. Where do I send money?

I am a better God, I will let you eat pork. I accept pay pal. EiP.

Hey, you can do all of that with Me, too, and I'll even throw in a set of knives and a toaster!


God doesn't botch simple HTML. My children! Rise up and put the heathan imposter to death!
 
2013-01-14 06:57:52 PM
Welcome to the civilized world. It is a clusterf*ck of hypocrisy, shenanigans and user application errors. Avoid people who proffer authority postures.
 
2013-01-14 06:58:06 PM

Mr_Fabulous: I was the president of a condo HOA once. Didn't want the job, really... but I was already on the board as VP when the president of 12 years quit in a huff.

Some dumbass actually called me in the middle of the night because there was a raccoon on his back steps. I advised him to throw things at it and make loud noises.


You should have fined him for having an unauthorized pet.
 
2013-01-14 06:59:40 PM

bunner: Warthog: Sounds like the guy was a child molester who got found out.

Or, you know, just was all arsed up about Disney movies. Did anybody ASK the guy?


What's that going to get you?  The guy is going to say "no, I'm not a child molester" either way.  I would have given him the benefit of the doubt, until the whole suicide thing.  It shows he was guilty.  If he'd peacefully agreed to leave his home like a rational person, he could have shown he was innocent in his new community.
 
2013-01-14 07:01:16 PM

jst3p: Rent Party: jst3phark And Molly Ziegler: Rent Party: I am God. Prove I'm not.

Well, I believe you're God. Where do I send money?

I am a better God, I will let you eat pork. I accept pay pal. EiP.

Hey, you can do all of that with Me, too, and I'll even throw in a set of knives and a toaster!

God doesn't botch simple HTML. My children! Rise up and put the heathan imposter to death!


It was a test! Tie that HTML up and sacrifice it, or I will know you do not truly love Me.
 
2013-01-14 07:01:21 PM

Warthog: bunner: Warthog: Sounds like the guy was a child molester who got found out.

Or, you know, just was all arsed up about Disney movies. Did anybody ASK the guy?

What's that going to get you?  The guy is going to say "no, I'm not a child molester" either way.  I would have given him the benefit of the doubt, until the whole suicide thing.  It shows he was guilty.  If he'd peacefully agreed to leave his home like a rational person, he could have shown he was innocent in his new community.


The story is bullshiat as told because if the guy running my HoA was going around and telling people I was a child molestor and harassing me for years my lawyer would make it such that I owned his house.
 
2013-01-14 07:01:28 PM

Warthog: If he'd peacefully agreed to leave his home like a rational person, he could have shown he was innocent in his new community.


: |

Seriously? Or do I give you a 0/10?
 
2013-01-14 07:02:03 PM

Shirley Ujest: Mr_Fabulous: I was the president of a condo HOA once. Didn't want the job, really... but I was already on the board as VP when the president of 12 years quit in a huff.

Some dumbass actually called me in the middle of the night because there was a raccoon on his back steps. I advised him to throw things at it and make loud noises.

You should have fined him for having an unauthorized pet.


"Is the raccoon wearing a collar? Oh, it's too dark? Well, just feel for it then."
 
2013-01-14 07:02:07 PM

doczoidberg: In general, I don't like dealing with rules of any kind when I'm in my own home.

I put up with them in school; I put up with them when I'm out in public; I put up with them at work all day...That's enough being told what I can and can't do, as far as I'm concerned.

If it's my property, I'll do what I want.

Screw the HOA!


The best neighborhood in my city has an HOA. The HOA fee pays for all the neighborhood parks, and community room. The HOA enforces front yard landscaping and sprinkler system. The HOA enforces common colors, architecture, and up keep. It is a very nice, well kept neighborhood, and a highly desirable place to live.

No one forced me to buy here, I wanted to buy here. I fully understood what I was buying into, and I do not regret it.
 
2013-01-14 07:03:18 PM

Rent Party: jst3p: Rent Party: jst3phark And Molly Ziegler: Rent Party: I am God. Prove I'm not.

Well, I believe you're God. Where do I send money?

I am a better God, I will let you eat pork. I accept pay pal. EiP.

Hey, you can do all of that with Me, too, and I'll even throw in a set of knives and a toaster!

God doesn't botch simple HTML. My children! Rise up and put the heathan imposter to death!

It was a test! Tie that HTML up and sacrifice it, or I will know you do not truly love Me.


My children! If you weigh Rent Party you will see he weighs the same as a duck! Don't be fooled!
 
2013-01-14 07:05:32 PM

Harry_Seldon: It is a very nice, well kept neighborhood, and a highly desirable place to live.


I've read that art is subjective.
 
2013-01-14 07:07:29 PM

ProfessorOhki: Fade2black: Citrate1007: HoA's tend to be ran by Tea Party types that get off on their micro-fascist power trips.

I'm sure you love to inject politics into everything, and I'm sure it works out for you. And since a liberal mind is very fragile, ill be very gentle.

Despite a tea partier being bat shiat crazy, they enjoy their crazy because there is LESS government to rule over them, not more. To have more government so that you can stop thinking for yourself and recuse yourself of personal responsibility; that is a Liberal disease.

Much as it's "conservative" to move Federal responsibilities back the states, wouldn't it logically be conservative to move the City's responsibilities to the Neighborhood.

I'm curious, would you consider it conservative or liberal to dissolve the states and hand everything to the Feds? The final entity would have wider reach than any today, but there would only be one government instead of 51, which is arguably a reduction in the scope of the bureaucracy, right? Or do you agree that the trend of moving governing to local, smaller (and by virtue of size, more easily corrupted) smaller governments is generally a conservative stance?


Here's my personal take on this.  Note, this is "theory" as opposed to practice.

You move government to the lowest level that can effectively get the job done.  Thus, you want schools and garbage collection handled by the city because they will handle it efficiently.  It also means your say in how things are done has some meaning since your vote isn't swamped by a 100,000,000 other votes.  If you take it to too low of a level, such as neighborhoods or blocks as you sugguested, there is an increased likelihood of a small handfull of assholes making your life a living hell.  On the other end of the spectrum you need things handled at the national level since it wouldn't be feasible to handle national defense any other way.  Well, it was mostly done at the state level until the Civil War, but things changed after that (but I digress).  The downside is your say has effectively no meaning at all.

As for the corruption possibilities.  I think the politicians at the higher levels are much more corrupt, but it's a whole lot easier for them to hide their corruption.  Skimming money in a local government is easier to catch because a few thousand dollars is no longer a simple rounding error and there's much less red-tape to hide behind.

As for moving everything to the Federal level.  We've effectively done that with education.  That isn't exactly working out all that well.
 
2013-01-14 07:09:22 PM
There's a huge difference between "WITHOUT THE HOA, EVERYBODY WOULD PAINT THEIR HOUSES 12 DIFFERENT PRIMARY COLORS AND BURN CARS IN THEIR FRONT YARD!" and "Sorry, that's the wrong shade of khaki. Huge fine. Correct it or you lose your house." And most of this crap seems to be about the latter. So, to sum up, if you don't like my small bed of annuals by my front porch, why don't you go tell it to somebody who cares, Mr. Eichmann? Cause f*ck you. That's why."
 
2013-01-14 07:15:10 PM

nekom: ajgeek: And people BUY INTO IT!

That's the real puzzling part.  I don't get what the upshot is.  I suppose if you REALLY loved conformity and wanted to live in a neighborhood where the houses all look the same.  Can't really see why it would appeal to anyone.  I've got a pickup truck without plates in my yard just for driving around on my property, I've got two septic tanks still in the ground, I cut my grass when the mood strikes me.  I wouldn't last a week in an HOA environment.


In many areas HOAs are the norm, not the exception.
 
2013-01-14 07:16:10 PM

oh_please: jst3p: Are you really this stupid? You are asking me to prove a negative?

Are YOU really this stupid? You don't have TV's Vinnie on ignore yet?


Well, who is the one that called it bullshiat without any proof? I'm not gonna go digging through ten years of news articles just to placate some total stranger. I know what I read, and I said that I recalled it. If that's all it takes for you to put someone on ignore? Well, bye.

images.whatmap.multiply.com
 
2013-01-14 07:17:08 PM
christ1: just as I picked a MOSTLY non-crazy wife.

And finally, there are enough local ordinances that if someone wants to be a dick, they can even without an HOA.

FTFY
/they're ALL a **little** crazy....
// I keed not....
 
2013-01-14 07:18:04 PM

Shirley Ujest: Mr_Fabulous: I was the president of a condo HOA once. Didn't want the job, really... but I was already on the board as VP when the president of 12 years quit in a huff.

Some dumbass actually called me in the middle of the night because there was a raccoon on his back steps. I advised him to throw things at it and make loud noises.

You should have fined him for having an unauthorized pet.


Nice, but I was thinking something more like "Operating a petting zoo without the proper permits...."
 
2013-01-14 07:19:31 PM

bunner: There's a huge difference between "WITHOUT THE HOA, EVERYBODY WOULD PAINT THEIR HOUSES 12 DIFFERENT PRIMARY COLORS AND BURN CARS IN THEIR FRONT YARD!" and "Sorry, that's the wrong shade of khaki. Huge fine. Correct it or you lose your house." And most of this crap seems to be about the latter. So, to sum up, if you don't like my small bed of annuals by my front porch, why don't you go tell it to somebody who cares, Mr. Eichmann? Cause f*ck you. That's why."


In 2011 there were 837,622 homes covered by HoAs in Colorado

There were 477 complaints lodged.

That means that ~%.005 of HoA homeowners had issues that were worthy of registering a complaint.

Also: "We also noticed a trend that most of the complaints came from low income mid-rise condominium associations and was surprised to see that large single-family home communities did not have many complaints."


I will take my chances.

Link
 
2013-01-14 07:20:38 PM

TV's Vinnie: If you say so. Come up with proof that it didn't happen.


www.disbeliefnet.com
 
2013-01-14 07:26:04 PM

Private_Citizen: I've noticed that when given total freedom, there's a certain type of person who just goes crazy, becomes a complete ass and generally runs their Freak Flag up the ole flag pole.


"Nearly any man can withstand nearly any amount of adversity. If you truly want to test a man's character, give him power." -- A. Lincoln
 
2013-01-14 07:36:29 PM
HOA's are why i love my house

Zoned pure commercial, i can do what i want, when i want, as load as i want, as Bright as i want and no one can tell me different (well up to health and safety laws)

I know my neighbors who built there nice new homes love me after the police informed them they are not on residential property and i am in my legal rights to rebuild my bike at 3am

///when i got my house i and trees on three sides, and one old dude across the street. Then he died and his children sold all the land around me.
 
2013-01-14 07:39:24 PM

thenumber5: I know my neighbors who built there nice new homes love me after the police informed them they are not on residential property and i am in my legal rights to rebuild my bike at 3am


So it requires zoning laws to have simple respect for others?

It's clear that cities need no-rules anarchic asshole zones so that they can save on fire and police services.
 
2013-01-14 07:39:35 PM

thenumber5: I know my neighbors who built there nice new homes love me after the police informed them they are not on residential property and i am in my legal rights to rebuild my bike at 3am


So, basically, you are a sociopath?
 
2013-01-14 07:45:02 PM
If you care whether or not your neighbor has a satellite dish on his roof, you do need to kill yourself.
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2013-01-14 07:46:47 PM

Private_Citizen: I've noticed that when given total freedom, there's a certain type of person who just goes crazy, becomes a complete ass and generally runs their Freak Flag up the ole flag pole. The internet is a classic example (See John Gabriel's "Greater Internet Dickwad Theory").


Some go into school administration, too...
 
2013-01-14 07:53:03 PM

bronyaur1: If you care whether or not your neighbor has a satellite dish on his roof, you do need to kill yourself.


Of course, the neighbor could also ask the satellite dish installer to place the dish in the least visible place possible. Win, win?
 
2013-01-14 07:53:38 PM
I'm curious to see the followup tag to this one. I'm fully expecting large amounts of tequila, smashed windows, and one hell of a Smoking Gun mugshot.
 
2013-01-14 07:56:01 PM

jamesmusik: They put up a phone call with the guy. It's pure genius.

http://www.courierpress.com/videos/detail/a-conversation-with-stonec re ek-hoa-president-steph/


Lol apparently the paper is in "legal legal LEGAL" violation. I wonder if that's worse than double-secret legal violation.
 
2013-01-14 07:56:56 PM

Harry_Seldon: bronyaur1: If you care whether or not your neighbor has a satellite dish on his roof, you do need to kill yourself.

Of course, the neighbor could also ask the satellite dish installer to place the dish in the least visible place possible. Win, win?


Or how about you place your dish in the best position for reception or wherever the fark you want, and then it's win-whogivesafarkwhatsomeoneelsethinks
 
2013-01-14 08:00:28 PM

The All-Powerful Atheismo: Harry_Seldon: bronyaur1: If you care whether or not your neighbor has a satellite dish on his roof, you do need to kill yourself.

Of course, the neighbor could also ask the satellite dish installer to place the dish in the least visible place possible. Win, win?

Or how about you place your dish in the best position for reception or wherever the fark you want, and then it's win-whogivesafarkwhatsomeoneelsethinks


Sometimes I always wonder if I am talking to little spoiled children. Unlike you, I prefer to live in a community, not Thunder Dome.
 
2013-01-14 08:04:42 PM

Harry_Seldon: The All-Powerful Atheismo: Harry_Seldon: bronyaur1: If you care whether or not your neighbor has a satellite dish on his roof, you do need to kill yourself.

Of course, the neighbor could also ask the satellite dish installer to place the dish in the least visible place possible. Win, win?

Or how about you place your dish in the best position for reception or wherever the fark you want, and then it's win-whogivesafarkwhatsomeoneelsethinks

Sometimes I always wonder if I am talking to little spoiled children. Unlike you, I prefer to live in a community, not Thunder Dome.


And you should have no say on where someone else places their satellite dish no matter what community you live in.
 
2013-01-14 08:06:05 PM
www.johnnyvelvet.com

Satellite dishes? Dear me, no. It wont do. Breaks up the roof lines and looks like a clown nose. While we're at it, buying and regentrifying a home in an older neighborhood? Those terrible looking "clotheslines" of power cables and telephone poles will have to be torn out. And I mean the whole block. And license plates? On MY M class? I should say not, oh state government revenue person. It's absolutely ruinous to the swept aesthetics of the body lines and clashes with the pewter metallic. Furthermore, ladies, do we REALLY need those gaudy and cumbersome strollers for the little ones? They look like you'e trotting your child off to be sold in an action in Baghdad. And get rid of those dungarees. Looking at your fat ass whilst enjoying the pristine qualities of my manicured to within 1/8" tolerance lawn is not conducive to my sense of beauty. Now, about those two toned flower beds.. it seems obvious to me that...
 
2013-01-14 08:08:51 PM

JakeStone: I'm curious to see the followup tag to this one. I'm fully expecting large amounts of tequila, smashed windows, and one hell of a Smoking Gun mugshot.

I'm glad I reloaded the comments before posting, so a nice big THIS for you...
 
2013-01-14 08:09:15 PM

Harry_Seldon: The All-Powerful Atheismo: Harry_Seldon: bronyaur1: If you care whether or not your neighbor has a satellite dish on his roof, you do need to kill yourself.

Of course, the neighbor could also ask the satellite dish installer to place the dish in the least visible place possible. Win, win?

Or how about you place your dish in the best position for reception or wherever the fark you want, and then it's win-whogivesafarkwhatsomeoneelsethinks

Sometimes I always wonder if I am talking to little spoiled children. Unlike you, I prefer to live in a community, not Thunder Dome.


You don't know how satellite works, do you?
 
2013-01-14 08:10:19 PM

miltoncharles: My HOA has taken me to court three times to get me to take down my "prohibited" DirecTV dish.  FCC law specifically prohibits homeowner's associations from banning DSS dishes.  HOA: "FCC laws do not apply to us."  Court: "Uhm, yes they do."

Well, long story short, I've won all three times, but can't get the court to award me legal fees. So, every couple of years, I'm out $3k in legal fees to keep my DirecTV dish.

//gotta have NFL Sunday Ticket
///go Steelers
////next year


You should check out those prepaid legal plans.
 
2013-01-14 08:10:51 PM

thenumber5: HOA's are why i love my house

Zoned pure commercial, i can do what i want, when i want, as load as i want, as Bright as i want and no one can tell me different (well up to health and safety laws)

I know my neighbors who built there nice new homes love me after the police informed them they are not on residential property and i am in my legal rights to rebuild my bike at 3am

///when i got my house i and trees on three sides, and one old dude across the street. Then he died and his children sold all the land around me.


You're why HOAs exist, basically. Thanks for making HOAs have a reason for existence. You're the best.
 
2013-01-14 08:12:06 PM

Elzar: I've lived in an HOA, it was an outrage! My property value didn't go down, my neighbors weren't allowed to park their broke down cars on the front lawn and I wasn't even able to call the cops on my neighbors for them not blasting music into the wee hours of the morning.


Whereas I bought enough land to where I don't give a shiat how many old cars my neighbors have piled up. There's quite a few retired mechanics in the area, so you can imagine how many there are, but I can't see a one of them from my place, so who cares?

\Plus, I can do some of my grocery shopping at my neighbor's farm stand.
\\I've started saving the seeds of my favorite heirlooms from her stand.
 
2013-01-14 08:19:42 PM
land.allears.net

Where HOA Nazis think they live.

unitedblackamerica.com

Where they think everybody else lives.

drymartino.com

Where most home owners actually live.
 
2013-01-14 08:31:40 PM
We live in a fairly old area of our city. Once upon a time, a neighbor tried to start a "Neighborhood Association"

We all laughed.

Still laugh.
 
2013-01-14 08:34:42 PM
I remember the last time I caught the city inspector taking pictures of my 'weeds'. "you know, that's the state flower of Nebraska, right? Now should we talk about all the various plants considered noxious by the Iowa DNR that are freely growing on city property? What shall we do about this?"

I believe I also threatened to half-bury an '80 Caprice in my front yard, paint in bright pink, and dub it "The Majesty of Detroit". Art, you know. Protected, even.

I had many lulz.

Ain't seen that guy around my 'hood lately.
 
2013-01-14 08:35:04 PM
Here's my 2-cents: I don't live in a neighborhood controlled by an HOA; I live in a neighborhood where most people agree to have an informal HOA which has zero authority but which tries to keep things clean and tidy and reminds, for instance, the "loud people" that they chose to live here for a reason. And that reason is that we're clean and tidy and don't party too loud or too late. Yet at the same time, *gasp*, no one minds at all when parties and such do happen now and again! I guess it's called something along the lines of "courtesy"---i.e., no man is an island, kind of. We pay $100/year, voluntarily, for that privilege. No ones hand is forced but I'll admit that our non-HOA neighborhood is about as comfy and pretty as can be. People live that way because they want to.

And strange as it may sound, things work out pretty well. And for the occasional (and thankfully rare) folks who like to pile truck tires in thei rfront yard or put derelict boats in their driveway, well, the towns code-enforcement or the police will take care of that sort of thing quickly enough.

There are folks who just like to move into a neighborhood and fark things up. Screw them.

Having said all that---this Hess guy is an incredible asshole.
 
2013-01-14 08:37:49 PM
Did anyone mention the recording yet?

Sounds like the GED in law is gonna call the cyber police pretty soon.
 
2013-01-14 08:42:58 PM

MelGoesOnTour: Here's my 2-cents: I don't live in a neighborhood controlled by an HOA; I live in a neighborhood where most people agree to have an informal HOA which has zero authority but which tries to keep things clean and tidy and reminds, for instance, the "loud people" that they chose to live here for a reason.


If you listen to enough Fark Freedom Fetishists, they make it sound like any community cooperation is the equivalent to Animal Farm.
 
2013-01-14 08:44:08 PM

bhcompy: thenumber5: HOA's are why i love my house

Zoned pure commercial, i can do what i want, when i want, as load as i want, as Bright as i want and no one can tell me different (well up to health and safety laws)

I know my neighbors who built there nice new homes love me after the police informed them they are not on residential property and i am in my legal rights to rebuild my bike at 3am

///when i got my house i and trees on three sides, and one old dude across the street. Then he died and his children sold all the land around me.

You're why HOAs exist, basically. Thanks for making HOAs have a reason for existence. You're the best.


if some ones wants a nice quite neighborhood, don't build your home on commercial property

I got my house because it was zoned commercial and not in a neighborhood
 
2013-01-14 09:02:24 PM
Not taking the HOA's side or anything here but if you dont get a pet microchipped youre pretty much a douchebag retard...
 
2013-01-14 09:15:06 PM

bunner: [www.johnnyvelvet.com image 612x900]

Satellite dishes? Dear me, no. It wont do. Breaks up the roof lines and looks like a clown nose. While we're at it, buying and regentrifying a home in an older neighborhood? Those terrible looking "clotheslines" of power cables and telephone poles will have to be torn out. And I mean the whole block. And license plates? On MY M class? I should say not, oh state government revenue person. It's absolutely ruinous to the swept aesthetics of the body lines and clashes with the pewter metallic. Furthermore, ladies, do we REALLY need those gaudy and cumbersome strollers for the little ones? They look like you'e trotting your child off to be sold in an action in Baghdad. And get rid of those dungarees. Looking at your fat ass whilst enjoying the pristine qualities of my manicured to within 1/8" tolerance lawn is not conducive to my sense of beauty. Now, about those two toned flower beds.. it seems obvious to me that...


Ah. You've met my constituency.
 
pla
2013-01-14 09:28:40 PM
Lizardking : Not taking the HOA's side or anything here but if you dont get a pet microchipped youre pretty much a douchebag retard...

What?

I consider myself a pretty big fan of treating pets right, but WTF does "always" chipping them have to do with that?

If my cat vanishes, the coyotes won't stop to scan him to make sure he doesn't have an owner before they shred him and eat him. But hey, you can probably send the scat in for a confirmation scan if it makes you feel better.
 
2013-01-14 09:30:59 PM
If you say the HOA's name three times, does it go away?
 
2013-01-14 09:32:35 PM

Cornelius Dribble: Jument: Cornelius Dribble: Private_Citizen: I've owned houses in two areas without HOAs, and one with them. The one with an HOA (the current one) is a much nicer place to live.

Without an HOA, I've dealt with neighbors who:

- had a garage sale every Fri, Sat and Sun.
- one who built a stone monstrosity in their backyard and topped it with a full sized Teepee
-people who so badly maintained their outbuildings that the termites collapsed them
-even people who expressed their creativity by painting trippy murals on their fence
-and, of course, loud music, yelling, parties, etc at all times of day and night.

I'm sure every homeowner has their own nightmare neighbor stories. Yes, an HOA can be missued by petty tyrants (Stonecreek) but with decent people, they protect the interests of the decent people.

As long as they didn't do any of those things on MY property, I'd have problems with absolutely none of them. What they do on their own property is their own business.

Still, I suppose busybodies will be busybodies.

If someone is having three "garage sales" a week they are basically running at thrift store out of their garage. You'd really be ok with that next door to you? With cars parked in front of your house all day every weekend and lots of foot traffic? Sure, it wouldn't be the end of the world but I would not want that next to me.

What you do on your own property is only your business until it impacts your neighbors. The world is not as black and white as that statement implies IMHO.

So you're not only against private property, you're also against free enterprise. Again, as long as they're not using my garage and their customers are not parked in my driveway, I don't see the problem. My father ran a fishing tackle repair and sales business out of his home for years, and he got along perfectly fine with the neighbors.


Yes, I guess I am. I don't want random people walking and parking in front of my house. I like living on a quiet street. I would have called the cops on your grandfather if his business had intruded upon that (which it easily might not have, depending on volume).

Re: the comments above about calling the cops: you are right. I was more responding to the "your property, your business" sentiment but we've established that we don't agree on that. :)
 
2013-01-14 09:34:23 PM

Harry_Seldon: Sometimes I always wonder if I am talking to little spoiled children. Unlike you, I prefer to live in a community, not Thunder Dome.


You're right, anyone who would throw a fit because they can see a satellite dish on my house really is a spoiled child. I've learned to ignore children throwing fits, as the attention just encourages them to keep doing it.

/I don't tell my neighbors what to do with their homes, and expect the same treatment
 
2013-01-14 09:43:23 PM
Wow. There are so many people posting here crying "if it's my property, I'll do what I want with it" it's clear that MOST of those people don't actually OWN property! Seriously, stfu if you don't actually own a house in a nice area. Sucks to be you, I guess. Just quit biatching about stuff you have no clue about to begin with. Sheesh!

/dang arm-chair realtor experts, I tells ya!
 
2013-01-14 09:50:08 PM

MelGoesOnTour: Seriously, stfu if you don't actually own a house in a nice area.


Bonus, he said seriously.
 
2013-01-14 09:56:54 PM

pla: Lizardking : Not taking the HOA's side or anything here but if you dont get a pet microchipped youre pretty much a douchebag retard...

What?

I consider myself a pretty big fan of treating pets right, but WTF does "always" chipping them have to do with that?

If my cat vanishes, the coyotes won't stop to scan him to make sure he doesn't have an owner before they shred him and eat him. But hey, you can probably send the scat in for a confirmation scan if it makes you feel better.


No, the coyotes wont but a nice person who finds the animal before a coyote gets to it might take him to get scanned and get him back to you alive. So unless youre one of those assholes who consider pets disposable entities I see no good reason not to microchip a pet
 
2013-01-14 10:02:44 PM

MelGoesOnTour: Wow. There are so many people posting here crying "if it's my property, I'll do what I want with it" it's clear that MOST of those people don't actually OWN property! Seriously, stfu if you don't actually own a house in a nice area. Sucks to be you, I guess. Just quit biatching about stuff you have no clue about to begin with. Sheesh!

/dang arm-chair realtor experts, I tells ya!


Seriously. Anyone who has invested hundreds of thousands of dollars for a place to live (or to invest) really has a strong incentive to make sure their investment holds its value. Of course, some HOA boards can go too far, as exemplified in the article, but for nearly all people who own property, we want to take care of it, and we want our neighbors to take care of theirs. Anyone who deals with the general public knows that there are plenty of really inconsiderate assholes in the world, and HOAs, if operating as they should, help protect us from them.
 
2013-01-14 10:10:08 PM

MelGoesOnTour: Wow. There are so many people posting here crying "if it's my property, I'll do what I want with it" it's clear that MOST of those people don't actually OWN property! Seriously, stfu if you don't actually own a house in a nice area. Sucks to be you, I guess. Just quit biatching about stuff you have no clue about to begin with. Sheesh!

/dang arm-chair realtor experts, I tells ya!


That was irony, wasn't it?
 
2013-01-14 10:10:10 PM

Citrate1007: Thunderpipes: Citrate1007: HoA's tend to be ran by Tea Party types that get off on their micro-fascist power trips.

Umm, no. HOAs are liberals, they want to control everything, tax everything, run everything.

Liberals LOVE HOAs. They want to turn the country into a giant HOA.

Guess it depends on what part of the country you live in. Either way they often attract farkwads to their leadership.


Simple test, how many conservatives would ever make someone take down an American flag? How many HOAs do that? They are all liberal.
 
2013-01-14 10:10:35 PM

Harry_Seldon: MelGoesOnTour: Here's my 2-cents: I don't live in a neighborhood controlled by an HOA; I live in a neighborhood where most people agree to have an informal HOA which has zero authority but which tries to keep things clean and tidy and reminds, for instance, the "loud people" that they chose to live here for a reason.

If you listen to enough Fark Freedom Fetishists, they make it sound like any community cooperation is the equivalent to Animal Farm.


No. We just can coordinate a civil peaceful existence without having to throw a bureaucracy (often led by petty tyrants) and bleed several hundred dollars a month for it. We have city code enforcement and zoning which take care of things by existing statutes. Why throw more governance at a non-existent problem?
 
2013-01-14 10:17:35 PM

Atomic Spunk: Anyone who has invested hundreds of thousands of dollars for a place to live (or to invest) really has a strong incentive to make sure their investment holds its value. Of course, some HOA boards can go too far, as exemplified in the article, but for nearly all people who own property, we want to take care of it, and we want our neighbors to take care of theirs. Anyone who deals with the general public knows that there are plenty of really inconsiderate assholes in the world, and HOAs, if operating as they should, help protect us from them.


Why did you need the cost and regulatory overhead of an HOA to maintain property values? I talk to my neighbors and the city enforces code. No one tells me what color to paint my house or what my mailbox looks like. My property value has not decreased. Maybe you should chose better company who self-regulate and share pride of ownership and have a modicum of social skills.
 
2013-01-14 10:24:09 PM

Thunderpipes: Simple test, how many conservatives would ever make someone take down an American flag? How many HOAs do that? They are all liberal.


Flags are like the least of the concerns with any HOAs. Those complaints do exist but way to cherry pick issues to fit your bullshiat political agenda.
 
2013-01-14 10:41:09 PM
I would rather cut off my own balls and shove them down my throat, then shove a red hot iron poker up my ass, than live in an HOAville.
 
2013-01-14 10:42:55 PM
"We're taught in appraisal courses that maximum value is achieved through homogeneity of some sort," Matthews said.

I just puked in my mouth a little. Yay, Conformity = value. Feh.
 
2013-01-14 10:44:20 PM
HOAs are part-owners of the property.

If you don't want the use of your property to be partially controlled by an HOA, don't buy property that is partially owned by an HOA.

Pretty simple.
 
2013-01-14 10:44:42 PM
After listening to that recording again, it sounds like that HOA Furher has a Legal terminology variation of Tourettes....
 
2013-01-14 10:46:23 PM

Phinn: HOAs are part-owners of the property.

If you don't want the use of your property to be partially controlled by an HOA, don't buy property that is partially owned by an HOA.

Pretty simple.


Thanks broken record, that's only been repeated like 1,000 in this thread.
 
2013-01-14 10:47:54 PM

bunner: There's a huge difference between "WITHOUT THE HOA, EVERYBODY WOULD PAINT THEIR HOUSES 12 DIFFERENT PRIMARY COLORS AND BURN CARS IN THEIR FRONT YARD!" and "Sorry, that's the wrong shade of khaki. Huge fine. Correct it or you lose your house." And most of this crap seems to be about the latter. So, to sum up, if you don't like my small bed of annuals by my front porch, why don't you go tell it to somebody who cares, Mr. Eichmann? Cause f*ck you. That's why."


And those are the ones you hear about. It's not that everyone would paint their houses weird colors and disassemble nuclear bombs in their yards or slaughter cattle in the garage on weekends...and where they do, most people do what normal people do, they walk across the street and talk about it. It's these two or three petty dictators who comb through the C&Cs and go Aha! the regs say your house has to be BONE white and not DAISY white! And old Mrs. Cavenish has been bugging me for 20 years! Time for paybacks! And off they go to the courts.

What's funny, or not really so funny, is that in some states, like California, the overuse of courts and the underabundance of money has caused many areas to limit their small-claims courtrooms. Judges won't hear these cases unless they go to mediation first, and so these fools are finding themselves more and more in negotiations with their neighbors anyway. Karma's a mean biatch.
 
2013-01-14 10:50:33 PM

Ima4nic8or: I just puked in my mouth a little. Yay, Conformity = value. Feh.


What if the value if a home is the warmth, safe haven and space in which to love, live, laugh, learn and enjoy being alive and the company of family, and not what color the siding is? What if the value isn't hoping you can dump the joint for 20,000.00 more than you paid for it in 40 years to some other tightassed wanker who wants to lie on his deathbed pretending he lived and died in an 1890's dream world of pluperfect societal bliss through conformity? It's not the stupidest idea put forth, surely.
 
2013-01-14 10:53:23 PM

bunner: There's a huge difference between "WITHOUT THE HOA, EVERYBODY WOULD PAINT THEIR HOUSES 12 DIFFERENT PRIMARY COLORS AND BURN CARS IN THEIR FRONT YARD!" and "Sorry, that's the wrong shade of khaki. Huge fine. Correct it or you lose your house." And most of this crap seems to be about the latter. So, to sum up, if you don't like my small bed of annuals by my front porch, why don't you go tell it to somebody who cares, Mr. Eichmann? Cause f*ck you. That's why."


No way. It's like the nanny-statists. Either you allow micromanagement of some trivial aspect of your life, or you end up living in Somalia. There is no in-between.
 
2013-01-14 10:59:53 PM

Mugato: Phinn: HOAs are part-owners of the property.

If you don't want the use of your property to be partially controlled by an HOA, don't buy property that is partially owned by an HOA.

Pretty simple.

Thanks broken record, that's only been repeated like 1,000 in this thread.


I didn't even read the article. What makes you think I'm going to read the inane drivel of a bunch of shut-ins, spergs, and Obama voters?
 
2013-01-14 11:01:25 PM
Boy I miss circumcision threads.
 
2013-01-14 11:04:29 PM

Ima4nic8or: "We're taught in appraisal courses that maximum value is achieved through homogeneity of some sort," Matthews said.

I just puked in my mouth a little. Yay, Conformity = value. Feh.


Ima4nic8or: I would rather cut off my own balls and shove them down my throat, then shove a red hot iron poker up my ass, than live in an HOAville.


lohphat: Harry_Seldon: MelGoesOnTour: Here's my 2-cents: I don't live in a neighborhood controlled by an HOA; I live in a neighborhood where most people agree to have an informal HOA which has zero authority but which tries to keep things clean and tidy and reminds, for instance, the "loud people" that they chose to live here for a reason.

If you listen to enough Fark Freedom Fetishists, they make it sound like any community cooperation is the equivalent to Animal Farm.

No. We just can coordinate a civil peaceful existence without having to throw a bureaucracy (often led by petty tyrants) and bleed several hundred dollars a month for it. We have city code enforcement and zoning which take care of things by existing statutes. Why throw more governance at a non-existent problem?


What are you talking about? An HOA that charges you "several hundred a month" is spending that money on something? I pay $45/month for landscaping and water. I also pay $160 twice a year for the common areas (parks, playgrounds, gazebos, conference room). I get services for the money I spend. There is certainly management overhead, and that is a cost.

You don't want to live in a neighborhood with an HOA. That's cool. Why would I care? However, liking the HOA in my neighborhood doesn't make me or my neighbors some sort of closet fascists. My neighborhood is actually a model development that is being closely watched nation wide. I had a choice where to buy my home, but I also bought into the idea of this neighborhood. It works for me. There has been trade offs, but it works.

Orenco Station
 
2013-01-14 11:07:22 PM

Phinn: I didn't even read the article. What makes you think I'm going to read the inane drivel of a bunch of shut-ins, spergs, and Obama voters?


WTF does this has to do with Obama? Why does every farking thread have to be partisan bullshiat?
 
2013-01-14 11:11:32 PM

CapeFearCadaver: "You stop this article immediately, because I will sue you just like I sue the people who don't pay their dues," he said.

'A powerful tool'

Heh heh. Got the tool part right.


I admit, I snorted when I got to that line. Well played, reporter.
 
2013-01-14 11:12:25 PM
We all should have figured this out by now.

HOAs do not preserve value. They destroy value. They give developers a lot of control and a great revenue stream. Lots of these HOAs are managed externally, and simply are for revenue generation.

Of course in Stonecreek's case, plenty of home buyers are going to see this article and avoid buying there, which will depress values as well.

Even in HOAs that are merely wasted of money, you are always at risk of a jerk eventually using it to control you or your neighbors. Also, I've noticed that many HOAs stiffle improvements (like planting trees), and over the long term, the neighborhoods just don't age well. If you have to run everything by the Architectural committee, you're going to wait until you have a lot of improvements... but you might never get there. You might even move first. Over time, that means fewer trees and gardens and nice patios, etc.

HOAs are pathetic.
 
2013-01-14 11:15:25 PM
Whether they know it or not, homeowners agree to the regulations

i14.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-14 11:20:38 PM

Harry_Seldon: What are you talking about? An HOA that charges you "several hundred a month" is spending that money on something? I pay $45/month for landscaping and water. I also pay $160 twice a year for the common areas (parks, playgrounds, gazebos, conference room). I get services for the money I spend. There is certainly management overhead, and that is a cost.


Yes, that's all cool. We used to have that in our housing tract in to '70s and were paid for by things called "taxes". No additional layer of management required.

If that's all they did then I would have no problem with it -- it's the "unconforming" paint and mailboxes etc. which I can do without.

In Irvine CA there were (don't know if it's still current) housing tracts you can be fined by parking your car in the driveway overnight. God forbid you have guests.
 
2013-01-14 11:21:16 PM

Phinn: I didn't even read the article. What makes you think I'm going to read the inane drivel of a bunch of shut-ins, spergs, and Obama voters?


Which one are you?

0/10
 
2013-01-14 11:22:04 PM
I don't know why people still want to live in a HOA neighborhood, must be the same people that still think that them colored are out to get 'em.
 
2013-01-14 11:22:21 PM

mgshamster: ShadowkahnCRX: If you were shopping for a house, would you be willing to pay more for a place you were looking at when you saw that the neighbor had 49 pink flamingos in the yard, a bright green house with pink trim, and a rusty old truck up on blocks in the tall grass?

How would you pay more? Wouldn't you just pay what the value of the house is? Those who buy an HOA house have to pay more. Monthly.


In other words, the value of the house goes down because if the neighbor's place looks like a dump, people won't pay as much for the house as they otherwise would have.
 
2013-01-14 11:24:08 PM

Harry_Seldon:

What are you talking about? An HOA that charges you "several hundred a month" is spending that money on something? I pay $45/month for landscaping and water. I also pay $160 twice a year for the common areas (parks, playgrounds, gazebos, conference room). I get services for the money I spend. There is certainly management overhead, and that is a cost.

You don't want to live in a neighborhood with an HOA. That's cool. Why would I care? However, liking the HOA in my neighborhood doesn't make me or my neighbors some sort of closet fascists. My neighborhood is actually a model development that is being closely watched nation wide. I had a choice where to buy my home, but I also bought into the idea of this neighborhood. It works for me. There has been trade offs, but it works.

Orenco Station


How do you get that deal? The only place that I lived in with an HOA was $165/month when I moved in in 1989 and was $235/month when I left in 2003. I cant imagine what it is now.

I have no problem with folks that are willing to live under an HOA, just like I have no problem with folks cutting off their own balls. My issue is more with the prevalence of them and how it is becoming harder and harder to find a place without one. I would like to see a simple rule enacted: whatever property you move into you can join the HOA or not, your call. If you join then you get the pain and the benefits (as miniscule as they may be). If you chose not to join, well, awesome for you.
 
2013-01-14 11:25:52 PM

ShadowkahnCRX: In other words, the value of the house goes down because if the neighbor's place looks like a dump, people won't pay as much for the house as they otherwise would have.


Yeah but we're not talking about a "dump". That's the logical leap these people come to. We're talking about a new plant or grass that's 1cm longer or an unapproved paint job. We're not talking Sanford and Son. The property value thing is largely horseshiat.
 
2013-01-14 11:28:14 PM

Lizardking: No, the coyotes wont but a nice person who finds the animal before a coyote gets to it might take him to get scanned and get him back to you alive. So unless youre one of those assholes who consider pets disposable entities I see no good reason not to microchip a pet


I don't think that's the point. Of course getting your pet microchipped is smart. The point is that your HOA doesn't have any business ordering you to do it.

/pets are indoor only
//not microchipped
///in theory, they probably should be
 
2013-01-14 11:29:14 PM
The $165 to $235 at the place I lived at covered the lanscaping, common area maintenance, exterior painting, roofing repair, trash collection, water, exterior lighting and the natural gas used to heat the water. Oddly it did not cover the natural gas used by the furnace.

I always thought about playing a bit with that last one. I always wanted to hook up one of those old fashioned radiators to the hot water supply on my kitchen sink and heat the place that way. Never did it though since I thought they might just notice.
 
2013-01-14 11:30:10 PM

ShadowkahnCRX: If you were shopping for a house, would you be willing to pay more for a place you were looking at when you saw that the neighbor had 49 pink flamingos in the yard, a bright green house with pink trim, and a rusty old truck up on blocks in the tall grass? Neither would anyone else, but without an HOA, you have to hope that city ordinances prevent such things. If they don't, it's very hard to get that stuff tossed out.


2.bp.blogspot.com

Median house value Haight-Ashbury, SF = $1,003,700 Nov2012
 
2013-01-14 11:31:48 PM

lohphat: Harry_Seldon: What are you talking about? An HOA that charges you "several hundred a month" is spending that money on something? I pay $45/month for landscaping and water. I also pay $160 twice a year for the common areas (parks, playgrounds, gazebos, conference room). I get services for the money I spend. There is certainly management overhead, and that is a cost.

Yes, that's all cool. We used to have that in our housing tract in to '70s and were paid for by things called "taxes". No additional layer of management required.

If that's all they did then I would have no problem with it -- it's the "unconforming" paint and mailboxes etc. which I can do without.

In Irvine CA there were (don't know if it's still current) housing tracts you can be fined by parking your car in the driveway overnight. God forbid you have guests.


At my parents-in-law's house, you will get fined for having a car parked on the street over night. When ever anyone stays overnight, they just have their guests park in front of a neighbor's house.

Their HOA also classifies all boats as an "RV." They had a boat in their driveway for a week while they were waiting to transport it. The HOA left notices saying they would be fined for having an RV in their driveway. They ignored them because they didn't have an RV, they had a boat. After three notices, they got their first fine and then called to complain. That's how they found out that a boat was classified as an RV, even though that's not what an RV is.
 
2013-01-14 11:31:52 PM

Jument: Cornelius Dribble: Jument: Cornelius Dribble: Private_Citizen: I've owned houses in two areas without HOAs, and one with them. The one with an HOA (the current one) is a much nicer place to live.

Without an HOA, I've dealt with neighbors who:

- had a garage sale every Fri, Sat and Sun.
- one who built a stone monstrosity in their backyard and topped it with a full sized Teepee
-people who so badly maintained their outbuildings that the termites collapsed them
-even people who expressed their creativity by painting trippy murals on their fence
-and, of course, loud music, yelling, parties, etc at all times of day and night.

I'm sure every homeowner has their own nightmare neighbor stories. Yes, an HOA can be missued by petty tyrants (Stonecreek) but with decent people, they protect the interests of the decent people.

As long as they didn't do any of those things on MY property, I'd have problems with absolutely none of them. What they do on their own property is their own business.

Still, I suppose busybodies will be busybodies.

If someone is having three "garage sales" a week they are basically running at thrift store out of their garage. You'd really be ok with that next door to you? With cars parked in front of your house all day every weekend and lots of foot traffic? Sure, it wouldn't be the end of the world but I would not want that next to me.

What you do on your own property is only your business until it impacts your neighbors. The world is not as black and white as that statement implies IMHO.

So you're not only against private property, you're also against free enterprise. Again, as long as they're not using my garage and their customers are not parked in my driveway, I don't see the problem. My father ran a fishing tackle repair and sales business out of his home for years, and he got along perfectly fine with the neighbors.

Yes, I guess I am. I don't want random people walking and parking in front of my house. I like living on a quiet street.


Wow. You really object that much to people walking on the sidewalk in front of your house, or parking?

You sound sociopathic.
 
2013-01-14 11:33:02 PM

ShadowkahnCRX: mgshamster: ShadowkahnCRX: If you were shopping for a house, would you be willing to pay more for a place you were looking at when you saw that the neighbor had 49 pink flamingos in the yard, a bright green house with pink trim, and a rusty old truck up on blocks in the tall grass?

How would you pay more? Wouldn't you just pay what the value of the house is? Those who buy an HOA house have to pay more. Monthly.

In other words, the value of the house goes down because if the neighbor's place looks like a dump, people won't pay as much for the house as they otherwise would have.


Perfect! I can get a good house at a lower price!
 
2013-01-14 11:33:50 PM

mgshamster: Their HOA also classifies all boats as an "RV." They had a boat in their driveway for a week while they were waiting to transport it. The HOA left notices saying they would be fined for having an RV in their driveway. They ignored them because they didn't have an RV, they had a boat. After three notices, they got their first fine and then called to complain. That's how they found out that a boat was classified as an RV, even though that's not what an RV is.


A boat is a Vehicle used often for Recreation, thus RV.
 
2013-01-14 11:34:12 PM

ShadowkahnCRX: mgshamster: ShadowkahnCRX: If you were shopping for a house, would you be willing to pay more for a place you were looking at when you saw that the neighbor had 49 pink flamingos in the yard, a bright green house with pink trim, and a rusty old truck up on blocks in the tall grass?

How would you pay more? Wouldn't you just pay what the value of the house is? Those who buy an HOA house have to pay more. Monthly.

In other words, the value of the house goes down because if the neighbor's place looks like a dump, people won't pay as much for the house as they otherwise would have.


See I don't get this mentality.

My housing value is NOT determined by neighbors homes because they are NOT comparable to mine. When I had the assessment done before I bought, the assessor used three other houses in the general neighborhood but none of them were on the same street because none of the other houses on this street had the same features as mine.

Is this not the case everywhere?
 
2013-01-14 11:34:22 PM

Jument:
Without an HOA, I've dealt with neighbors who:

- had a garage sale every Fri, Sat and Sun.
- one who built a stone monstrosity in their backyard and topped it with a full sized Teepee
-people who so badly maintained their outbuildings that the termites collapsed them
-even people who expressed their creativity by painting trippy murals on their fence
-and, of course, loud music, yelling, parties, etc at all times of day and night.
.


1) Why would you care if a neighbor has a garage sale every day? As long as its not on my property its not my business.
2) the Teepee impacts you how?
3) people who so badly maintained their outbuildings that the termites collapsed them - sucks for them but how does it hurt you?
4) even people who expressed their creativity by painting trippy murals on their fence - my neighbors can paint whatever they want on their fence as long as they dont paint on mine.
5) and, of course, loud music, yelling, parties, etc at all times of day and night. - That is some annoying crap but that is why we pay property taxes to the county, for police service.
 
2013-01-14 11:36:20 PM
Oh, evansville. I lived within your city for over 13 years. Outside of getting married and having kids and the fun stuff that comes along with that, one of the happiest days of my life was the day I left that great unshaven armpit of America behind me. You are the city that has lead the nation in both suicide and obesity. For all that, the obesity would be even worse if it weren't for the raging meth problems you have going on as well. If only a few family and friends didn't live there, would never have to go back to see you again. That town fits me the same way a shirt from middle school fits so many of your obese citizens and is just as stylish as that shirt that i wore to your subpar schools over 20 years ago.

Many people who get older and move away from this town they grew up in will happily say their old town is a great place to be from. I can't even say that about you. The best I can say is you make it easy to never be homesick for the town I became a man in.

In short, fark you.
 
2013-01-14 11:39:13 PM

lohphat: mgshamster: Their HOA also classifies all boats as an "RV." They had a boat in their driveway for a week while they were waiting to transport it. The HOA left notices saying they would be fined for having an RV in their driveway. They ignored them because they didn't have an RV, they had a boat. After three notices, they got their first fine and then called to complain. That's how they found out that a boat was classified as an RV, even though that's not what an RV is.

A boat is a Vehicle used often for Recreation, thus RV.


Not in America.
 
2013-01-14 11:40:55 PM

MelGoesOnTour: Wow. There are so many people posting here crying "if it's my property, I'll do what I want with it" it's clear that MOST of those people don't actually OWN property! Seriously, stfu if you don't actually own a house in a nice area. Sucks to be you, I guess. Just quit biatching about stuff you have no clue about to begin with. Sheesh!

/dang arm-chair realtor experts, I tells ya!


I cant speak for everyone else in the thread who has a property rights slant but I do own a house. I think its in a pretty nice area but that is a subjective call. Its not a matter of being a realty expert but of wanting some amount of freedom and being willing to give your neighbors the same. I really dont care if a neighbor paints his house purple with pink polka dots or parks his car in his yard. It changes not one molecule of my property. I dont live under the illusion that my house is some sort of rare keepsake investment that must remain sterile and untouched. Nor do I think that its purpose is to be worth more later. It is a home. I fart in it, paint it whatever color I want and take care of the lawn the way I damn well please. If that costs me a bit when I go to sell someday, or more likely after I die in it, then so be it.
 
2013-01-14 11:42:14 PM

lohphat: A boat is a Vehicle used often for Recreation, thus RV.


Yeah, so is a jet ski.
 
2013-01-14 11:45:00 PM

mgshamster: lohphat: mgshamster: Their HOA also classifies all boats as an "RV." They had a boat in their driveway for a week while they were waiting to transport it. The HOA left notices saying they would be fined for having an RV in their driveway. They ignored them because they didn't have an RV, they had a boat. After three notices, they got their first fine and then called to complain. That's how they found out that a boat was classified as an RV, even though that's not what an RV is.

A boat is a Vehicle used often for Recreation, thus RV.

Not in America.


I beg to differ.

In some municipalities they are -- and also includes aircraft.
 
2013-01-14 11:50:57 PM

lohphat: mgshamster: lohphat: mgshamster: Their HOA also classifies all boats as an "RV." They had a boat in their driveway for a week while they were waiting to transport it. The HOA left notices saying they would be fined for having an RV in their driveway. They ignored them because they didn't have an RV, they had a boat. After three notices, they got their first fine and then called to complain. That's how they found out that a boat was classified as an RV, even though that's not what an RV is.

A boat is a Vehicle used often for Recreation, thus RV.

Not in America.

I beg to differ.

In some municipalities they are -- and also includes aircraft.


Fair enough.
 
2013-01-14 11:54:18 PM
From googling "rv definition"

Noun 1. R.V. - a motorized wheeled vehicle used for camping or other recreational activities

Stretching the definition to include boats is screwy. If it is just any vehicle that can provide recreation then that would include bicycles, skateboards, scooters, any car or truck, boats, aircraft, a kids big wheel, debatably even shoes.
 
2013-01-14 11:56:53 PM

Ima4nic8or: From googling "rv definition"

Noun 1. R.V. - a motorized wheeled vehicle used for camping or other recreational activities

Stretching the definition to include boats is screwy. If it is just any vehicle that can provide recreation then that would include bicycles, skateboards, scooters, any car or truck, boats, aircraft, a kids big wheel, debatably even shoes.


But those smaller items rarely require licensing. Boats and aircraft do.

Also common daily usage often differs from legal definitions.
 
2013-01-15 12:32:01 AM
H to the izz-O
V to the izz-A

Wait... Wut?
 
2013-01-15 12:53:08 AM

lohphat: Atomic Spunk: Anyone who has invested hundreds of thousands of dollars for a place to live (or to invest) really has a strong incentive to make sure their investment holds its value. Of course, some HOA boards can go too far, as exemplified in the article, but for nearly all people who own property, we want to take care of it, and we want our neighbors to take care of theirs. Anyone who deals with the general public knows that there are plenty of really inconsiderate assholes in the world, and HOAs, if operating as they should, help protect us from them.

Why did you need the cost and regulatory overhead of an HOA to maintain property values? I talk to my neighbors and the city enforces code. No one tells me what color to paint my house or what my mailbox looks like. My property value has not decreased. Maybe you should chose better company who self-regulate and share pride of ownership and have a modicum of social skills.


"Share choose better company who self-regulate and share pride of ownership"? Perhaps you can offer a reasonable suggestion on how I can "choose" the people who buy properties around me?

That said, I am a president of the condo where my office building is. It's zoned for mixed use. Several years ago, a teenage boy who lived in the building put a bunch of posters on his window facing outwards. The pictures were gruesome. Photos of dead bodies piled up during WW2. The famous photo of the POW during the Vietnam war getting his temple shot. A bunch of really sickening anti-black and anti-Asian posters too. These posters were large enough to see clearly and read from all the way down the street.

I spoke to the boys father and I asked him calmly, "Can you ask your son to remove the posters? Residents have complained, and the messages on the posters make our building a target for someone who takes offense.". That idiot said, "He's just a kid. He'll take it down when he grows up a little more." "So you're not going to force him to take it down?" "No, I already told you'll he'll take it down when he's ready.".

So I drafted up a note telling him the rules he violated, the fine if he doesn't comply, and the costs he'll pay if he doesn't pay the fine. I also reminded him that a failure to pay the fines could lead to foreclosure. I delivered the letter that evening, directly to the father. The next morning, the posters were gone. Were it not for our HOA and the rules we decided on living by, those posters might still be up. The father wasn't willing to do jack (which is probably one of the reasons his kid was so farked up). The cops would have been powerless to do anything. HOAs can protect people from assholes like that kid and his dad who didn't give a crap about offending people, lowering property values and making our building a possible target.
 
2013-01-15 01:00:12 AM
The HOA of my subdivision is actually pretty nice in that there are safeguards in place to prevent petty fines. There has to be a verbal notice of an infraction(at least 2 attempts must be made on a Saturday during daylight hours, when most people are home). If they can't be warned verbally, there are 3 letters mailed. After that, if there is still no response, a certified letter from a lawyer is served to the homeowner. If there is still no response, a lien is taken on the house. The HOA has no power to foreclose on property, thankfully. The notice has to provide exactly which part of the agreement was violated and who witnessed the violation, etc.

We did at one point have a busybody who was practically forced to resign after sneaking into people's houses to take pictures of work they were having done (with all necessary city permits) or refused to leave someone's property when told. She didn't have anything better to do while her kids were off at school, I guess.

Any new regulations introduced have to get at least 80% approval from the residents (not just those attending the annual meetings). There is also a 90-day waiting period before they can go into effect.

I've been here for 11 years and there has only been one new ordinance put into place. It was regarding who pays the legal fees to collect past-due fines and dues: by the neighborhood, or tacked onto the lien on the deadbeats' houses.

Our HOA fees are $112 a year to take care of landscaping and utilities for the common grounds. That's expected to go down since the brother of one of the board members was arrested and lost his landscaping business.

I did receive a letter from the city a few years ago regarding a juniper bush that had grown into the "sight line" of the intersection in front of my house. "Fair enough," I thought, "I hate the thing anyway so I'll just take a chainsaw to the base of it and let one of my farmer friends use it in his pond." Since the bush was over 5' tall, I got a letter (no verbal warning even though I had been home 3 Saturdays in a row) informing me of a $500 fine for not having a "certified arborist" (whom they wanted to hire and make me pay for) determine the best course of action for trimming the "tree" (their word) back from the sight line. After telling them that trimming was not an option, it was a bush, not a tree, and that the city told me to do it, they withdrew their fine.

Since they couldn't get me on the bush, they griped about the rusty OTA antenna I had next to my garage and threatened another $500 fine (max fine is $100 per infraction on pretty much anything). They shut up after I showed them the FCC rules. I haven't seen or heard anything from any of them in the last 6 years, though.
 
2013-01-15 01:05:47 AM

Elzar: I've lived in an HOA, it was an outrage! My property value didn't go down, my neighbors weren't allowed to park their broke down cars on the front lawn and I wasn't even able to call the cops on my neighbors for them not blasting music into the wee hours of the morning.


That's funny, mine didn't go down in the worst housing economy on record yet there are HOA subdivisions left vacant all over the country. As far as broken down cars, you can't leave those out front here either, but you CAN work on a project car in the back yard if you want. Anyone who wants to call the cops on their neighbors either lives too close to em or is a douche of the highest order. They say fences make good neighbors, I prefer a couple hundred feet, much more effective.
 
2013-01-15 01:31:06 AM

Ima4nic8or: Jument:
Without an HOA, I've dealt with neighbors who:

- had a garage sale every Fri, Sat and Sun.
- one who built a stone monstrosity in their backyard and topped it with a full sized Teepee
-people who so badly maintained their outbuildings that the termites collapsed them
-even people who expressed their creativity by painting trippy murals on their fence
-and, of course, loud music, yelling, parties, etc at all times of day and night.
.

1) Why would you care if a neighbor has a garage sale every day? As long as its not on my property its not my business.
2) the Teepee impacts you how?
3) people who so badly maintained their outbuildings that the termites collapsed them - sucks for them but how does it hurt you?
4) even people who expressed their creativity by painting trippy murals on their fence - my neighbors can paint whatever they want on their fence as long as they dont paint on mine.
5) and, of course, loud music, yelling, parties, etc at all times of day and night. - That is some annoying crap but that is why we pay property taxes to the county, for police service.


1) Depends on the area and location of the garage sale and local zoning restrictions. Our CITY (not HOA) has regulations that say you can only have one garage sale per month; so our neighbor who was having one every Friday and Saturday was in violation. She was also blocking the alley that is used for parking and access by the entire block.
2) Probably doesn't.
3) Termites migrate from building to building, so if one person has lots of termites, soon the entire neighborhood does. That, believe it or not, hurts everyone who doesn't want to have to fumigate for termites every year.
4) Trippy murals on the fence actually does have an impact on property values. I don't care, myself, since I rent, but homeowners might have an interest in not seeing their property values go down because other peoples' idea of creativity is unusually radical.
5) In normal places, people are considerate and tell their neighbors they are going to have loud parties in advance. Those same people also end their parties at a reasonable hour and don't have loud parties on Wednesday nights. Unfortunately, in our entitled, "I got mine so f*ck you," personal-rights age, many people consider it their inalienable right to play music at 120 decibels 24/7 and will not care if it bothers the neighbors--why don't you move someplace else?--so HOAs are formed to prevent this BEFORE it becomes a problem, rather than having to call the cops six times a night AFTER it becomes a problem.

Now, I admit that #5 especially could be solved if only people were a little more considerate of their neighbors; but in the last decade or so, being considerate seems to be about the last thing anyone has on their tiny minds. It's all about HEY IT'S MY RIGHT TO DO THIS GO F*CK YOURSELF!!! and then it spirals down the toilet from there. People, like Congress, seem to think that compromise and negotiation are dirty words, so HOAs and cops have become everyone's solution instead.
 
2013-01-15 01:32:30 AM

Atomic Spunk: "Share choose better company who self-regulate and share pride of ownership"? Perhaps you can offer a reasonable suggestion on how I can "choose" the people who buy properties around me?


By scouting the neighborhood and looking for well kept homes. Even in SF you get one beater house on the block. So what? It's not my problem unless it's a fire hazard and the city enforces that.

Atomic Spunk: The cops would have been powerless to do anything. HOAs can protect people from assholes like that kid and his dad who didn't give a crap about offending people, lowering property values and making our building a possible target.


So it comes down to imaginary fear of some hypothetical event and worrying about what other people might think.

I choose to not live my life that way. No HOA for me, my house increases every year in value, I don't spend a moment thinking about how my neighbors can screw me despite having a certified mentally ill woman next door who occasionally screams some really odd stuff from her room which is opposite mine across the stairs by 12 feet or so. It's a detached home subdivision.

They take care of her and the house and we share common maintenance costs when they arise about once every 5 years when the stairs need repair.

We don't need some $120 monthly fee, bylaws, and a board. And I didn't have to approve their house paint color and vice versa.
 
2013-01-15 01:38:28 AM

lohphat: No. We just can coordinate a civil peaceful existence without having to throw a bureaucracy (often led by petty tyrants) and bleed several hundred dollars a month for it. We have city code enforcement and zoning which take care of things by existing statutes. Why throw more governance at a non-existent problem?


This is pretty much what my neighborhood does. We have one older gentleman who's beginning to 'slip' in his mind a little who really likes to see things maintained the way they were in the old days, so when my husband and I bought our house, our other neighbors quietly came and explained that 'Bob' might tell us to maintain things a certain way, and if we basically agreed and did it the first few times, he'd wind up just coming and doing them "since young people are so busy these days." So we did, and so he does.

He's just at a place in his life where the need to feel control over something, anything, is less important than anything else in his empty, retired-guy schedule, and since the neighbors have this tacit agreement that when you come home and find 'Bob' mowing your lawn, you order him a pizza, send him home with a batch of brownies or offer him a ride to one of his two appointments a week now that he doesn't drive, he feels valued and liked despite the fact that he really has very little else to enjoy in life. I've really gotten to like him despite his need for control, as he tells wonderful rambly stories and is a nice old guy. The ladies my mother's age on the street take turns going and talking with him as he plants everyone's flower beds, we all chip in for the flowers informally (we pass a literal hat to do so,) and each year we get a Christmas wreath or something for 'Bob' and make a big fuss about how he keeps the neighborhood beautiful. And that kid two doors down with all the piercings helped him with the Christmas lights on his house, which was adorable to see.

Given an HOA, 'Bob' would be King of the Assholes.

Given a neighborhood of quiet reasonable people and tacit understanding, 'Bob' is a local character whose mild eccentricity makes him beloved.

I wouldn't mind HOAs so much if I didn't see places without them doing the same things better, cheaper and with less kerfuffle.
 
2013-01-15 01:56:55 AM

jst3p: rewind2846: If you pay my mortgage, you can tell me what to do with my house.
If not, f*ck off and die. Mind your own goddamn business.

This just in: Regardless of the existance of an HOA, there is someone telling you, to some degree what you can do with your house.


Paying property taxes to keep the streets and sidewalks repaired and the lights on with police making sure you're not running a met lab in your garage is not the same as some asshole who insists that your house numbers, grass height and mailbox be of a certain size dictated by them.
Fail.

/HOAs, by assholes, for assholes
 
2013-01-15 02:08:04 AM

SpiderQueenDemon: I wouldn't mind HOAs so much if I didn't see places without them doing the same things better, cheaper and with less kerfuffle.


I have you favorited for a reason. I think it's for using kerfuffle in a sentence.

We all need less kerfuffle.
 
2013-01-15 02:45:12 AM

Dougie AXP: My housing value is NOT determined by neighbors homes because they are NOT comparable to mine. When I had the assessment done before I bought, the assessor used three other houses in the general neighborhood but none of them were on the same street because none of the other houses on this street had the same features as mine.

Is this not the case everywhere?


Yep. Doesn't stop the NIMBY nazis from worrying about whether or not the satellite dish on your roof might devalue their home.
 
2013-01-15 02:50:59 AM
Has anyone mentioned Stonecreek yet?
 
2013-01-15 02:58:04 AM

lohphat: Atomic Spunk: "Share choose better company who self-regulate and share pride of ownership"? Perhaps you can offer a reasonable suggestion on how I can "choose" the people who buy properties around me?

By scouting the neighborhood and looking for well kept homes. Even in SF you get one beater house on the block. So what? It's not my problem unless it's a fire hazard and the city enforces that.


You didn't understand what I was asking. You told me "choose better company". How do I choose when I owned the place years before the offenders moved there? In case you weren't aware, bad people can find their way into good neighborhoods.

lohphat:
So it comes down to imaginary fear of some hypothetical event and worrying about what other people might think.


No. It comes down to people being able to take pride in knowing that an asset that they've sunk hundreds of thousands of dollars into isn't going to be sullied because a father is incapable of controlling his stupid, threatening little punk kid. Our HOA had the power to change, for the better, something wrong with the appearance of the building that would not have been fixed by any other means, including neighborly requests and intervention by the powerless police.
 
2013-01-15 03:47:56 AM

Thunderpipes: Citrate1007: HoA's tend to be ran by Tea Party types that get off on their micro-fascist power trips.

Umm, no. HOAs are liberals, they want to control everything, tax everything, run everything.

Liberals LOVE HOAs. They want to turn the country into a giant HOA.


Your mom's a giant HOA.
 
2013-01-15 04:00:02 AM

FormlessOne: dahmers love zombie: I like how the news site's very next line after reprinting the "don't use the name Stonecreek" email was:

'A powerful tool'

LOL.

Yeah, I love that little "coincidental" heading. Hess does appear to be an appalling pissant of a person.

However, that's what you get when you sign into an HOA - the very real possibility of being forced not just to keep your property in a certain manner, but actually told how you should live portions of your life, too.

If you're stupid enough to sign onto an HOA, you deserve everything you get, honestly. I find it bizarre that HOAs are still prevalent enough, given their abuses over the last two decades, to warrant regular Fark postings about some new petty tyranny related to them.


Media artifact.

"HOA runs well, board responds to member's complaints, keeps neighbors happy" doesn't sell a lot of newspapers.
 
2013-01-15 04:15:56 AM

pippi longstocking: I don't know why people still want to live in a HOA neighborhood, must be the same people that still think that them colored are out to get 'em.


HOA board member here; I'll ask my black neighbor, the Hispanic tenants, and the Lebanese couple in the next building what they think of your theory.

/not really going to ask
 
2013-01-15 04:52:15 AM

Atomic Spunk:
No. It comes down to people being able to take pride in knowing that an asset that they've sunk hundreds of thousands of dollars into isn't going to be sullied because a father is incapable of controlling his stupid, threatening little punk kid. Our HOA had the power to change, for the better, something wrong with the appearance of the building that would not have been fixed by any other means, including neighborly requests and intervention by the powerless police.


We are talking about two different scenarios. One where there are tenants in common vs a neighborhood of detached houses.

Shared, inseparable facilities? Sure. You have shared maintenance and building needs to be painted the same color. So a local contract and board is a necessity depending on your property rights.

Stand alone houses? Not so much. My house is mine. Yours is yours. I have never needed the service of an HOA in the latter and my house holds its value thankyouverymuch. I don't live in a state of fear as to who might move in at some undefined time in the future. That's just life. You are not entitled to restrict the freedom of others to legally act in their own self interest to protect your sense of entitled home value.

If that we're true then successful neighborhoods without HOAs would be rare. They're not.
 
2013-01-15 04:57:08 AM

CapeFearCadaver: Is Stephen Hess short? I'll bet he's shorter than a great dane.

[napoleonireland.com image 418x550]


Napoleon wasn't short, he measured 5 feet 2 inches in French units which is 5 feet 7 inches in modern international inches. 5'7 at a time when the average was 5'5 is not short.
 
2013-01-15 05:20:42 AM

Atomic Spunk: Seriously. Anyone who has invested hundreds of thousands of dollars for a place to live (or to invest) really has a strong incentive to make sure their investment holds its value.


Is there any evidence for the claim that houses with curtains of the wrong colour cause surrounding house prices to plummet?
 
2013-01-15 07:05:04 AM

Jument: Cornelius Dribble: Private_Citizen: I've owned houses in two areas without HOAs, and one with them. The one with an HOA (the current one) is a much nicer place to live.

Without an HOA, I've dealt with neighbors who:

- had a garage sale every Fri, Sat and Sun.
- one who built a stone monstrosity in their backyard and topped it with a full sized Teepee
-people who so badly maintained their outbuildings that the termites collapsed them
-even people who expressed their creativity by painting trippy murals on their fence
-and, of course, loud music, yelling, parties, etc at all times of day and night.

I'm sure every homeowner has their own nightmare neighbor stories. Yes, an HOA can be missued by petty tyrants (Stonecreek) but with decent people, they protect the interests of the decent people.

As long as they didn't do any of those things on MY property, I'd have problems with absolutely none of them. What they do on their own property is their own business.

Still, I suppose busybodies will be busybodies.

If someone is having three "garage sales" a week they are basically running at thrift store out of their garage. You'd really be ok with that next door to you? With cars parked in front of your house all day every weekend and lots of foot traffic? Sure, it wouldn't be the end of the world but I would not want that next to me.

What you do on your own property is only your business until it impacts your neighbors. The world is not as black and white as that statement implies IMHO.


The garage sale thing I could understand, but with regard to the termites and the noise complaints, there are usually municipal laws in effect to deal with those situations. The rest of Private Citizen's complaints is pure busybodyism (pissing and moaning about murals? really?); seems that only busybodies should be living in HOAs if you ask me.
 
2013-01-15 07:35:29 AM

TigersorHawksorBoth: I like that the HOA guy keeps using the world "slander" in his conversation.

indigoMontoyadoesthinkitmeanswhatyouthinkitmeans.jpg.


Considering the article hadn't been printed at the time of the convo I'll give him a pass, but WRT to general defamation he's forgetting that there is no defamation when it is ugly truth you are espousing about someone trying to keep it hushed up, legally speaking.
 
2013-01-15 08:20:41 AM
I live in Stonecreek so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

\Not the one in the article.
\\My HOA is pretty non-intrusive.
\\\We just want the banks to take care of the foreclosed homes.
 
2013-01-15 08:21:36 AM

Ima4nic8or: MelGoesOnTour: Wow. There are so many people posting here crying "if it's my property, I'll do what I want with it" it's clear that MOST of those people don't actually OWN property! Seriously, stfu if you don't actually own a house in a nice area. Sucks to be you, I guess. Just quit biatching about stuff you have no clue about to begin with. Sheesh!

/dang arm-chair realtor experts, I tells ya!

I cant speak for everyone else in the thread who has a property rights slant but I do own a house. I think its in a pretty nice area but that is a subjective call. Its not a matter of being a realty expert but of wanting some amount of freedom and being willing to give your neighbors the same. I really dont care if a neighbor paints his house purple with pink polka dots or parks his car in his yard. It changes not one molecule of my property. I dont live under the illusion that my house is some sort of rare keepsake investment that must remain sterile and untouched. Nor do I think that its purpose is to be worth more later. It is a home. I fart in it, paint it whatever color I want and take care of the lawn the way I damn well please. If that costs me a bit when I go to sell someday, or more likely after I die in it, then so be it.


I respect what you're saying and all but what you are saying borders on being selfish. If you think that if a neighbor making his house unsightly doesn't affect the values of yours, you are simply wrong unless that neighbor is miles away or you live in the woods. Like it or not, property values are in fact affected by proximate properties whether you like it or not (in RE terms, it's called a comparable) and whether you agree with it or not. Yes, a person can crap up his home as much as he wants...but why would one want to do so?
 
2013-01-15 09:00:42 AM

Mugato: Phinn: I didn't even read the article. What makes you think I'm going to read the inane drivel of a bunch of shut-ins, spergs, and Obama voters?

WTF does this has to do with Obama? Why does every farking thread have to be partisan bullshiat?


Voting for Obama is an infallible proxy for a wide range of mental defects, including both ordinary stupidity as well as the more sophisticated forms of moral corruption.

That's why.
 
2013-01-15 09:22:57 AM

Phinn: Mugato: Phinn: I didn't even read the article. What makes you think I'm going to read the inane drivel of a bunch of shut-ins, spergs, and Obama voters?

WTF does this has to do with Obama? Why does every farking thread have to be partisan bullshiat?

Voting for Obama is an infallible proxy for a wide range of mental defects, including both ordinary stupidity as well as the more sophisticated forms of moral corruption.

That's why.


Funny how narcissists think the entire world is filled with crazy people and they are the only sane ones around (see: the utter pasting Romney and the rest of the GOP took this last election).
 
2013-01-15 09:33:58 AM

TenJed_77: CapeF


Lighten up, upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-01-15 09:36:19 AM
From http://www.vanderburgh.org/auditor/drain_mins/April/Apr1211db.htm This guy is a rambler, wow.


President Melcher: We will. Is there anybody here to speak on this. Go ahead and just come up one a time, and state your name please. We record everything.

Bill Jeffers: Do you need a pointer?

Steve Hess: I would love to have a pointer. Ted, Steve, Lloyd, Marsha, and Madelyn. I'm Steve Hess and I'm President, Treasurer and Legal Agent of Stonecreek Homeowners Association. I have received certified notice, I had seen a sign up in the front of this wonderful investment, this community that I had invested in April 14, 2003 as a quiet, quaint, away from the chaos of the city, in a subdivision that was representing, it mimicked more of a quiet setting, a country setting. We have ducks, geese, this....is there a little button here on the side? Oh, go the other way? I've got it there. This is what they're calling a retention path pond, and, actually this retention pond is a lake, one of five lakes that Jagoe had constructed in this entire community of 320 homes. I apologize, most of these residents could not arrive today because of other family commitments. My representation here today is, I had this ditch, with Mike Wathen, dug out over a year ago, and this was a major flooding issue at this time with these residents across from me. What's going on here is one of our concerns. The water and New Seib Road construction is lower than it's needing to path of travel of drainage on this side. I have pictures, ironically, does anyone know how much rain we received yesterday? It was a slow, steady rain throughout most of the day, probably two inches total. The pictures I will present here in a second are of this, the concerns of drainage on both sides. If I mentioned a minute ago, this 320 body of homes, we pay assessments and collect assessment dues each year on this lake, this lake, this lake and this one. We pay property taxes, I have the parcels in my attache case over here, that we have fish, we stock fish, it's a private, non-solicitation, it's a private pond. Our concerns are, I'm in transportation with Toyota, I deal with motors and engines daily, I have this concern of motor oil from a gas station that has rain water, such as yesterday, polluting our lake that we invested, we pay taxes on. I also believe, for the record, that if Mr. Sheffer owns some of this property of this lake that we share with him, that there needs to be some assessment taxes paid on his behalf. However, that would be a different subject with him later. Our concerns as a community is this, if we control this drainage, and flow it away from our property that we pay for, and prevent any type of pollution from this new proposed development, we have no major issues, unless I have other residents in this meeting today that can handle this. But, I am not too excited about seeing a commercial gas station coming in and approaching my community I bought eight years ago. I am more concerned about the flooding in such of a rain as yesterday that we had. If you will, I apologize, it's raining, I have no idea how to present these other than to bring them up to you, if I may.

President Melcher: You can.

Steve Hess: This was taken at 3:48 p.m. yesterday.

Madelyn Grayson: Steve, we need to make sure that we get your comments on the microphone.

Steve Hess: Okay. This was taken at 3:48 p.m. yesterday afternoon. This is the land just north of lots three, four and five, I believe, and, again, it was a steady rain throughout the day. So, this flow of water, that Bill Jeffers presented a minute ago, if that's true with the amount of water that this area is going to maintain, from what he just presented, I am assuming that all of this will be re-directed, instead of having this condition here, this is looking south, if you will, at this property that they've owned now, but he had presented that this is going to be directed away from our lake, which is over here, which is depicted here behind Elite Fitness. Elite Fitness Center is right here. This is our lake, they call that the retention pond, but this is our lake. So, if they can re-direct that water away from this body of water that we own, I have no issues, but this is why I'm here today, and I was certified on this concern, and we as a community want to protect our investments here and want to prevent any future flooding. The flood back in 2003, I did have a phone call with Bill Jeffers about a month ago, and he had recalled and reminded me of that 2003 flood that we had at this intersection, Kansas and 57. This again is yesterday's storm, mild, very slow rain, what's this going to present if we had a major rain, and this is our lake, again, over here to the west side of Old Seib Road, if you will, what's going to happen with this productive area and this new facility if we allow this to come in and allow them not to control our drainage?

Madelyn Grayson: May we have those pictures for the record?

Steve Hess: You may.

Madelyn Grayson: I've got a jumbo size filing cabinet.

Steve Hess: Yes, I apologize for the size, but, again, it's a visual. These will be, as I mentioned earlier, the ergonomics of the land, the latitude itself, this was what we had with what Jagoe corporation left us with in 2010. This was done March 29th, this is looking south, and Mike Wathen with the county came in, I appreciate their services, they came in as the taxpayers in our county's expense, I've been a taxpayer myself in Vanderburgh County for years. Marsha Abell met me back in 1993, and everyone knows me well that does know me, but they had this ditch dug out, and as you can see, it's more controlled today, as it was this was March, well, April 22, 2010, but this is more constructed, more clean cut to flow water when we have a heavy rain. With this new gas station, we have to have a guarantee here that they are going to control this water flow and keep it away from the residents, as well as keep it away from our lake. Okay, that's all I have to present today. Thank you.

Ted C. Ziemer, Jr.: Do you have extra copies of those photographs for yourself?

Steve Hess: I have them saved on my computer.

Ted C. Ziemer, Jr.: Okay, good. Okay, yeah.

President Melcher: Is there anybody else to speak?

President Melcher: Anybody else?

Steve Hess: Again, Steve Hess, President of the homeowners adjacent neighbor of this, representing 320 homes. I was instructed at the onset, the plan for tonight's meeting is this, this is strictly a drainage concern meeting, and that if I had any concerns other than that subject to address them Thursday. Again, investing in my personal lot, lot 65 on Chatteris Road overlooking across the street from all of the beds and all of the flood where this is supposedly going to be redirected, we have the airport out there, I understand that there may be, or it may be a good source on Rexam Industries being involved with this new airport. I look at airplanes flying in and flying out and that's fine, however, when you look at, I don't know what their plans are and the size of fuel tanks they're going to have in this ground either, and I'm also curious as to the quality of the dirt that's currently in this space, which will be addressed on Thursday, if that dirt came from another unhealthy source or if it was good dirt. I could have easily said tonight no, as an invested county taxpayer, as a representation of this community, I could have said no to this. I could have said I don't want this, because I invested in this community, I invested in this county, and I invested into that subdivision, and what we represent ourselves on are middle class, working people, not people that come home every night to a noisy gas station. So, I'm just trying to redevelop and present that when we are asked not to say anything about hesitation or frictions tonight, for the record, I do and I have a very vested interest in saying no to this project. I would ask of you to consider that with your concerns and your evaluations here, because when I invest in property and now that eight years later I'm looking at it potentially decreasing in value because of a convenience store, gasoline station, whatever risk business there is, politely I would rather see a pet rock store go into this area than have some flammable potential risk of airplanes and traffic that create further issues with our community. I believe that's all I have to say on the concerns, but I could have said no, and I will be addressing that again Thursday night. Thank you.
 
2013-01-15 09:46:08 AM

GladGirl: I'm president and queen of my HOA.

My kingdom consists of myself and the gay couple who owns the upstairs flat in our old Victorian. We don't really do much except pay the bills and make EXCELLENT Manhattans at our bi-annual HOA meetings. It's a great setup.


I've just become in charge of my HOA.   Everyone else is selling or completely disinterested in managing the place.   (Wait - it's because everyone else is selling that I'm in charge --- I didn't cause everyone to leave because I was put in charge!)

The "rules" are only mildly inconvenient but make sense.

My only complaint is that I've only lived here for a year and I really don't know as much about the history of the place as I should (plus this is the FIRST time I've ever owned, so it's all still new to me).   On the flipside, when the new owners arrive, I'll have some degree of precedence and we'll finally be able to add a garden budget.

/The sellers are leaving for "good" reasons (retirement, wanting a bigger place to start a family, etc.)
//I'll be here until they carry me out, or we'll put a mausoleum in the basement á la Napoleon.  This place ROCKS.
 
2013-01-15 10:05:37 AM

lohphat: waterrockets: The last thing I noticed the HOA doing in our neighborhood was re-landscaping the medians to be more drought-tolerant. Oh, and they bought $1000 worth of exercise equipment for the year-round swim team to use for dry-land exercises (I have two kids on that team).

Horrifying.

And what about the households without team members? Why should the HOA be funding an elective activity not related to property maintenance?


The select swim team is a significant profit center for the HOA (even with excellent coaching from a 2x world record holder and another Olympian). It helps keep the team populated to have an extensive program and good equipment. The only complaint anyone in the hood has about select swimming is lane usage, but they still leave 5 lanes open for residents during select practice, and sharing is not often needed between residents.
 
2013-01-15 11:35:51 AM

Citrate1007: HoA's tend to be ran by Tea Party types that get off on their micro-fascist power trips.


Trolls tend to be people with shiatty grammar.
 
2013-01-15 12:35:51 PM
Stonecreek
 
2013-01-15 01:07:47 PM

SuperJett: From http://www.vanderburgh.org/auditor/drain_mins/April/Apr1211db.htm This guy is a rambler, wow.

((((SNIP)))))



A rambler?? That read like something from Mrs. Malaprop's husband. It's practically word salad. A few gems that caught my eye, "a gas station approaching" his neighborhood, rather than encroaching upon; and, while he was talking about paying the real estate taxes on some properties, that he has "the parcels in his briefcase." That's gotta be one honkin' big briefcase.
 
2013-01-15 02:37:42 PM

Phinn: Mugato: Phinn: I didn't even read the article. What makes you think I'm going to read the inane drivel of a bunch of shut-ins, spergs, and Obama voters?

WTF does this has to do with Obama? Why does every farking thread have to be partisan bullshiat?

Voting for Obama is an infallible proxy for a wide range of mental defects, including both ordinary stupidity as well as the more sophisticated forms of moral corruption.

That's why.


So you're completely insane and if I believed in using the ignore feature, you'd be at the top of the list. Got it. I really don't want to use that feature so if you don't have anything farking stupid to say, try not to say it to me. Thanks.
 
2013-01-15 05:02:23 PM

Gough: SuperJett: From http://www.vanderburgh.org/auditor/drain_mins/April/Apr1211db.htm This guy is a rambler, wow.

((((SNIP)))))

A rambler?? That read like something from Mrs. Malaprop's husband. It's practically word salad. A few gems that caught my eye, "a gas station approaching" his neighborhood, rather than encroaching upon; and, while he was talking about paying the real estate taxes on some properties, that he has "the parcels in his briefcase." That's gotta be one honkin' big briefcase.


Let's tighten that up a bit for Mr. Hess.

"Ubb plub PLUB, PLUB PLUB, and harrumph, sir! HARRUMPH! Ubb feppity, flippty, blee dee blee, and furthermore, LITIGATION, sirrah!"

This guy should not be allowed to own a Bic pen, let alone be in charge of anything.

I wonder, if when the ACLU finally overtakes the compound to free the POWs, he'll go into his bunker and eat a gun after giving his pets cyanide.
 
2013-01-16 04:23:51 AM

Phinn: Mugato: Phinn: I didn't even read the article. What makes you think I'm going to read the inane drivel of a bunch of shut-ins, spergs, and Obama voters?

WTF does this has to do with Obama? Why does every farking thread have to be partisan bullshiat?

Voting for Obama is an infallible proxy for a wide range of mental defects, including both ordinary stupidity as well as the more sophisticated forms of moral corruption.

That's why.


derp
 
2013-01-16 11:25:53 AM

Abacus9: derp


This reminds me -- voting for Obama is also a reliable proxy for identifying people who are addicted to a wide range of psychological defense mechanisms, which are typically designed to ensure that the person is never required to confront uncomfortable facts or reconsider any of his assumptions and opinions.
 
2013-01-16 05:37:57 PM

Phinn: This reminds me -- voting for Obama is also a reliable proxy for identifying people who are addicted to a wide range of psychological defense mechanisms, which are typically designed to ensure that the person is never required to confront uncomfortable facts or reconsider any of his assumptions and opinions.


And what mental health would have been displayed by voting for Romney?
 
2013-01-16 05:50:29 PM

nickerj1: jamesmusik:

Comedy Gold!

What's the over/under for number of times he says "sue"?

"Sir, my name isn't Sue. It's Richard. Could you please stop calling me Sue.".

There maybe a drinking game in there. Everytime he says "sue" you take a shot. Everytime he comes off sounding like an idiot you take two shots. Better idea, just skip the tape and take the shots till you pass out. Same thing.
 
2013-01-16 06:21:54 PM

Lord Apathy: There maybe a drinking game in there. Everytime he says "sue" you take a shot. Everytime he comes off sounding like an idiot you take two shots


There's no way you would make it through half the call without projectile vomiting.
 
2013-01-17 12:29:13 AM

Phinn: Abacus9: derp

This reminds me -- voting for Obama is also a reliable proxy for identifying people who are addicted to a wide range of psychological defense mechanisms, which are typically designed to ensure that the person is never required to confront uncomfortable facts or reconsider any of his assumptions and opinions.


I get it, your guy lost. You're angry. I'll just sit back with my hands behind my head and revel in the Schadenfreude.
 
2013-01-17 12:11:34 PM

Abacus9: Phinn: Abacus9: derp

This reminds me -- voting for Obama is also a reliable proxy for identifying people who are addicted to a wide range of psychological defense mechanisms, which are typically designed to ensure that the person is never required to confront uncomfortable facts or reconsider any of his assumptions and opinions.

I get it, your guy lost. You're angry. I'll just sit back with my hands behind my head and revel in the Schadenfreude.


As I was saying -- defense mechanisms.
 
2013-01-18 12:14:02 AM

Phinn: Abacus9: Phinn: Abacus9: derp

This reminds me -- voting for Obama is also a reliable proxy for identifying people who are addicted to a wide range of psychological defense mechanisms, which are typically designed to ensure that the person is never required to confront uncomfortable facts or reconsider any of his assumptions and opinions.

I get it, your guy lost. You're angry. I'll just sit back with my hands behind my head and revel in the Schadenfreude.

As I was saying -- defense mechanisms.


You're the angry one, not me. I've got no need to be defensive. Even when you're in attack mode. You're completely powerless to make me care about your stupid opinion.
 
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