Hey, everybody. As we start a new week, these were some of the favorite headlines from last week. Some good ones in there if you missed any.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2013-01-06 to Sat 2013-01-12:

  University of Texas women's track coach resigns after lapping one of her student-athletes    

  Woman pleads guilty in 'total identity theft' case. At least we think it was her. She's pretty good at this    

  Volunteers needed for census. Must speeeeeeaaaaaaaaak whaaaaaaaaaaaale    

  Pakistani troops kill two jawans in Poonch. A spokesman for the dead replied, "Ootini"    

  HI there I'm Ricky Bobby. And I'm Cal Naughton Jr. We like to have fun out there on the race track, but there's something we have to tell you. Packs of vicious stray dogs are controlling most of the major cities of Mexico    

  Taco Bell gives loyal high school swimmer a custom made Speedo as company finally decides to think inside the buns    

  Woman determined to consume only Starbucks products for an entire year, will go bankrupt sometime in March    

  Archaeologists unearth 3,000-year-old Egyptian tombs; the search for Stargate is still ongoing    

  Workers renovating TV station find newspaper stuffed inside wall from October 3, 1949. Pics will give you younger Farkers a lesson in dead historical figures like Stalin, Joe Louis, newspapers    

  Delaware woman had sex with a dog while her boyfriend took pics. It was supposed to be the other way around, but the dog was having trouble with the shutter and the evening just got out of control    

  DC Prosecutors have decided to not to charge the David Gregory with breaking the law. Finally, a rich affluent white person can get justice in America    


Sports:

  RG3 wins the Theismann Trophy    

  The Crimson Tide hand the Irish their worst defeat since the Easter Rebellion    

  Hey John Elway, I hear Tim Tebow is available in case you want a QB who won't choke in OT of a playoff game    


Geek:

  Argentina to hand out 82 million free condoms. Or as UCLA calls it, homecoming weekend    

  First issue of new 'Star Wars' series from Dark Horse sells out in under 24 hours. George Lucas scoffs, says he can sell out in half the time    

  DHS advises everybody to disable Java immediately. Purple alert    


Entertainment:

  New film covers what "Lincoln" missed. Intermission?    

  Cuba cracks down on racy music lyrics, will now have the blandest Salsa outside of Taco Bell    

  Woman sees Les Miserables 957 times. No word on who was taking care of her cats    


Politics:

  Mark Sanford is set to announce his plan to run for Congress, where he hopes to join the House Committee on Foreign Affairs    

  Congressman Charlie Rangel says the lack of diversity in Obama's White House is "as embarassing as hell". In response, the White House points out they do have one black guy in a kinda important position    

  Obama Administration: "Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?"    


Business:

  Fiat 500 electric car is rated at 116 miles per gallon. Can be pushed by three friends from zero to 30 miles per hour in under six seconds    

  Importer announces 'the first wine created in support of equality for gay Americans'. It doesn't come in a box    

  Boeing chief engineer says its Dreamliner jets are "100% safe to fly", although it's the takeoffs and landings where things still get a little dicey    
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