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(Short List)   Cat beats stupid stock-brokers in year-long money-making exercise. Spends profits on an explosive tennis ball to kill dog   (shortlist.com) divider line 26
    More: Cool, money-making, tennis balls, cats  
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8999 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jan 2013 at 3:05 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



26 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-01-14 02:15:19 PM  
0.tqn.com
 
2013-01-14 03:09:21 PM  
We had to do this for our Econ class in high school.  Everyone had to buy a random stock.  My penny stock made millions at the end of the semester.

/I won a calculator.
//CSB
 
2013-01-14 03:11:42 PM  
catmacros.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-01-14 03:13:46 PM  
scienceblogs.com
 
2013-01-14 03:17:20 PM  
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-14 03:18:04 PM  
There are still human stock brokers?
 
2013-01-14 03:26:29 PM  
The Wall Street Journal did this for years with their "dartboard" feature. Every month they'd throw a dart at a list of stocks, and then also have several pros pick for them. The darts did pretty damn well.
 
2013-01-14 03:32:44 PM  
This reminds me of when Howard Stern would do the football pool picks. He used a chicken. The chicken won every week!!
 
2013-01-14 03:34:35 PM  
Does the Chicago Sun-Times' still have their stock market monkey?

IIRC he's been picking stocks for years and regularly beats the professionals.
 
2013-01-14 03:49:06 PM  
£542 profit?
Pussy.
 
2013-01-14 03:58:59 PM  
I wonder how the cat would fare against normal or smart stock brokers?
 
2013-01-14 04:08:53 PM  
You could do better spending the money on beer and returning the empties for the deposit.
 
2013-01-14 04:20:35 PM  
From the original article:

A spokeswoman for Orlando said he was not available to give an interview because of a claws in his contract.
 
2013-01-14 04:25:48 PM  
Having invested for years and years I would probably stick with the cat method. I used to spend ages researching stocks and looking at historical timelines and trends blah blah blah blah

Now I just randomly buy and sell crap and end up running about 10-15% a year without stress. I just set stops and let them do their thing.
 
2013-01-14 05:29:09 PM  
And now we know why so many supervillains have pet cats.
 
2013-01-14 05:40:06 PM  
Totally read this as:

Cat beats stupid stock-brokers in year-long monkey-making exercise. Spends profits on an explosive tennis ball to kill dog

???
/so very scared...
 
2013-01-14 05:57:14 PM  
Yeah, but I wonder how they picked which stocks to put on their grid of numbers as possible purchases?
 
2013-01-14 07:23:26 PM  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com

I Fark everything that I kill.
 
2013-01-14 07:26:17 PM  
Just goes to show that money invested in pussy isn't wasted.
 
2013-01-14 07:32:01 PM  

Julie Cochrane: Yeah, but I wonder how they picked which stocks to put on their grid of numbers as possible purchases?


That's the only question I had as well, this only works if every group was limited to the same set of options.

That said, I have zero doubt that a cat could beat professional brokers. I know a fair number of professional brokers and frankly I wouldn't let them pick which beer we have with dinner. Well, I wouldn't let the cat pick the beer either but at least if I did I wouldn't have to listen to it's completely bullsh*t explanation of how it did so.
 
2013-01-14 07:45:00 PM  
I guess the lesson to be learned from the exercise is this: Invest with professionals for the first quarter, then switch to the cat's recommendations for Q2-Q4.
 
2013-01-14 07:47:26 PM  
i2.kym-cdn.com

www.petinsurance-101.com
"Soon."
 
2013-01-14 10:10:10 PM  

tfresh: [encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 225x224]

I Fark everything that I kill.


Give him an eyepatch and that's the cat from the Last Unicorn!
 
2013-01-14 11:32:19 PM  

blatz514: We had to do this for our Econ class in high school. Everyone had to buy a random stock. My penny stock made millions at the end of the semester.


We didn't do this in my HS econ class, but our teacher kept telling us to buy Merck. I shoulda listened.
 
2013-01-15 08:38:47 AM  
All the money. None of the dog.
www.gannett-cdn.com
/Good
 
2013-01-15 09:41:23 AM  

A Shambling Mound: Julie Cochrane: Yeah, but I wonder how they picked which stocks to put on their grid of numbers as possible purchases?

That's the only question I had as well, this only works if every group was limited to the same set of options.

That said, I have zero doubt that a cat could beat professional brokers. I know a fair number of professional brokers and frankly I wouldn't let them pick which beer we have with dinner. Well, I wouldn't let the cat pick the beer either but at least if I did I wouldn't have to listen to it's completely bullsh*t explanation of how it did so.


It would be funny to replicate this study with multiple cats of different breeds, then make an Onion article about which breed of cat is the most financially astute. I know for an Onion article you don't have to actually _do_ the research, but it would still be fun.

"Common tabby out-performs purebreds!"

OR

"Breeding wins out: Burmese better stock pickers."
 
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