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(Kotaku)   Toshiro Mifune might have played Obi-Wan or Darth Vader, if only he could have opened the letter inviting him   (kotaku.com) divider line 162
    More: Cool, Toshiro Mifune, Darth Vader, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Star Wars, Akira Kurosawa, Sith Lord, James Earl Jones, writing process  
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8684 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 14 Jan 2013 at 9:26 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



162 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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Archived thread
 
2013-01-14 08:31:54 AM  
He would have made a kick ass Obi-Wan
 
2013-01-14 08:38:06 AM  
Would he have been Darth Vader in Costume, or just in voice?
 
2013-01-14 08:41:30 AM  
Oh this should be good.
 
2013-01-14 08:44:16 AM  

Elvis_Bogart: Would he have been Darth Vader in Costume, or just in voice?


Definitely Darth Vader. We never get to see his face.

/except at the end
 
2013-01-14 08:45:05 AM  
Koji Yakusho and Fukumi Kuroda could have been Luke and Leia.

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-14 08:45:35 AM  
One of the most creative ways i've seen of calling out a farker in a headline and getting away with it.
 
2013-01-14 08:47:42 AM  
It would also be fitting considering Mifune was in the original basis of Star Wars: The Hidden Fortress. It would have been cool if he'd been in both.
 
2013-01-14 08:53:24 AM  
"Luke.  This is your father's.."
"What is it?"
"It's your father's letter opener."
"What?"
"It's a weapon from a more elegant age."
"So, like, last Thursday?"
"No. But it's less clumsy than a blaster."
"What does it do?"
"It opens letters, you dumbass."
"okay.  I usually just use Aunt Beru's butterknife."
"This isn't going to end well."
 
2013-01-14 09:14:10 AM  

Kyro: Oh this should be good.


yes
 
2013-01-14 09:25:07 AM  
I got banned for calling out farkers in a headline once, but this gets greenlit.
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-14 09:35:15 AM  
I enjoyed the headline, would click again.
 
2013-01-14 09:36:11 AM  

xanadian: /except at the end


Jedi's the most insulting installment! Because Vader's beautiful black visage is sullied when he pulls off his mask to reveal a feeble, crusty, old white man! They tryin' to tell us that deep inside we all wants to be white!
 
2013-01-14 09:45:06 AM  

theorellior: xanadian: /except at the end

Jedi's the most insulting installment! Because Vader's beautiful black visage is sullied when he pulls off his mask to reveal a feeble, crusty, old white man! They tryin' to tell us that deep inside we all wants to be white!


Well, isn't that true ?
 
2013-01-14 09:46:15 AM  
Nice Fark-only joke
 
2013-01-14 09:52:23 AM  
In before what everyone is waiting on...
 
2013-01-14 09:54:40 AM  

Shadow Blasko: In before what everyone is waiting on...


Maybe he was the subby.
 
2013-01-14 09:57:08 AM  
I smell......TMLO Theater.
 
2013-01-14 10:02:29 AM  
lulz
 
2013-01-14 10:03:59 AM  

PsyLord: Shadow Blasko: In before what everyone is waiting on...

Maybe he was the subby.


This ain't working out, Dalton!
 
2013-01-14 10:04:01 AM  

padraig: theorellior: xanadian: /except at the end

Jedi's the most insulting installment! Because Vader's beautiful black visage is sullied when he pulls off his mask to reveal a feeble, crusty, old white man! They tryin' to tell us that deep inside we all wants to be white!

Well, isn't that true ?


Black Rage!
 
2013-01-14 10:04:45 AM  
Great headline!

=]
 
2013-01-14 10:07:52 AM  
Tmlol
 
2013-01-14 10:08:14 AM  

xanadian: Elvis_Bogart: Would he have been Darth Vader in Costume, or just in voice?

Definitely Darth Vader. We never get to see his face.

/except at the end


In a final, insulting twist, you would have seen Tatsuya Nakadai's face under Vader's helmet once Luke pulled it off.
 
2013-01-14 10:13:58 AM  
Toshiro Mifune's daughter (mentioned in TFA) is pretty damn hot. She got married on her 16th birthday to a guy 24 years older than her. Guess she had some daddy issues (her mother was Mifune's lover, and something like 30 years younger than him).

/random info
 
2013-01-14 10:19:34 AM  
WHAR IS THEATER
 
2013-01-14 10:20:34 AM  

NeoCortex42: padraig: theorellior: xanadian: /except at the end

Jedi's the most insulting installment! Because Vader's beautiful black visage is sullied when he pulls off his mask to reveal a feeble, crusty, old white man! They tryin' to tell us that deep inside we all wants to be white!

Well, isn't that true ?

Black Rage!


...nearly pissed myself.
 
2013-01-14 10:24:08 AM  
Maybe the soundtrack could have been done by Deep Sunshine as well.
 
2013-01-14 10:26:21 AM  
static.thereckoner.net

"That's no moon...... That's a space station"
 
2013-01-14 10:28:53 AM  
3.bp.blogspot.com

"Dammit... Where's my letter opener????"
 
2013-01-14 10:37:47 AM  
Here's some music for everyone to listen to while we wait for TMLO to make an appearance...

If you wish him to quicken his pace, I'd suggest some putting out some Ecto Cooler or maybe someone should insult the film  Roadhouse.
 
2013-01-14 10:38:43 AM  
I thought it was well known that Mifune was Lucas' first choice for Obi-Wan but the studio/distributor wanted someone more well known in the West, which is why Sir Alec got the nod.

Also, can't have a Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener thread without this.
 
2013-01-14 10:43:13 AM  

Paris1127: Here's some music for everyone to listen to while we wait for TMLO to make an appearance...

If you wish him to quicken his pace, I'd suggest some putting out some Ecto Cooler or maybe someone should insult the film  Roadhouse.


No way, that was Kurt Russel's best film.
 
2013-01-14 10:43:30 AM  
I have something here for you. Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn't allow it. He feared you might follow old Obi-Wan on some damn fool idealistic crusade like your father did.
www.anomalousmaterial.com
 
2013-01-14 10:44:15 AM  

doglover: Koji Yakusho and Fukumi Kuroda could have been Luke and Leia.

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 749x395]


In fairness, Tampopo is one of my favorite movies of all time. And Juzo Itami one my favorite directors.
 
2013-01-14 10:48:45 AM  

Paris1127: If you wish him to quicken his pace, I'd suggest some putting out some Ecto Cooler or maybe someone should insult the film  Roadhouse.


to scare him out of the bushes show photos of Julia Roberts
 
2013-01-14 10:51:25 AM  

NowhereMon: I got banned for calling out farkers in a headline once, but this gets greenlit.
[2.bp.blogspot.com image 400x360]


Did you use their username in the headline? Because this one didn't. The devil's in the details, and knowing that might make you want to gripe less.
 
2013-01-14 10:56:25 AM  
Heard that Lucas wanted Mifune to be Obi Wan, didn't know about the Vader bit.

Would have been cool to have him on either role, but Mifune as Kenobi would have changed drastically how the character came across... less a wise old teacher and more a rugged war veteran.

/I will admit, I don't get the headline.
 
2013-01-14 10:56:43 AM  
Can you imagine the Force related puns?
 
2013-01-14 10:58:10 AM  
Vader: "Luke, I am your father."
Luke: "...Really?"
 
2013-01-14 11:00:49 AM  
I just saw Samurai Rebellion. That movie was pretty slow but it was awesome.
 
2013-01-14 11:11:50 AM  

Kyro: NowhereMon: I got banned for calling out farkers in a headline once, but this gets greenlit.
[2.bp.blogspot.com image 400x360]

Did you use their username in the headline? Because this one didn't. The devil's in the details, and knowing that might make you want to gripe less.


The only thing that makes that headline notable is the fact that it references a Farker. Just because it doesn't have the exact combination of characters that is the username is irrelevant, it is still just as much of a call out. And this is Fark, it is all about complaining about inconsistent administration and moderation is par for the course, nay, an art in its own right, deal with it.
 
2013-01-14 11:17:08 AM  
This thread hasn't even done anything yet, and I'm already in love with it.
 
2013-01-14 11:17:19 AM  
Hmm... Sounds like I missed something good. May I humbly ask for an explanation of the headline?

Oh, and cool about the Vader thing! I've never been big on the "making of" movie trivia, but that is an interesting alternative. To the imaginemobile!
 
2013-01-14 11:18:34 AM  

NowhereMon: Kyro: NowhereMon: I got banned for calling out farkers in a headline once, but this gets greenlit.
[2.bp.blogspot.com image 400x360]

Did you use their username in the headline? Because this one didn't. The devil's in the details, and knowing that might make you want to gripe less.

The only thing that makes that headline notable is the fact that it references a Farker. Just because it doesn't have the exact combination of characters that is the username is irrelevant, it is still just as much of a call out. And this is Fark, it is all about complaining about inconsistent administration and moderation is par for the course, nay, an art in its own right, deal with it.


You'll get over it.
 
2013-01-14 11:19:39 AM  

treesloth: Hmm... Sounds like I missed something good. May I humbly ask for an explanation of the headline?

Oh, and cool about the Vader thing! I've never been big on the "making of" movie trivia, but that is an interesting alternative. To the imaginemobile!


There's a well-known, much beloved farker named Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener who is a big movie buff and makes us laugh with "TMLO Theatre", which is something that might pop up in this thread and you may get to see.
 
2013-01-14 11:21:51 AM  

Sargun: There's a well-known, much beloved farker named Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener who is a big movie buff and makes us laugh with "TMLO Theatre", which is something that might pop up in this thread and you may get to see.


Ah, ok... thanks for the explanation. So the "calling out" isn't hostile, I take it?
 
2013-01-14 11:23:08 AM  
Use the force Roook. That actually might have been pretty badass.
 
2013-01-14 11:23:41 AM  
I too found this humorous
 
2013-01-14 11:24:19 AM  
I'm too sick for TMLO theatre... please wait until I heal!
 
2013-01-14 11:25:20 AM  

treesloth: So the "calling out" isn't hostile, I take it?


Only if you don't click on the link provided by Luckless_Wonder.
 
2013-01-14 11:28:48 AM  

DarkPascual: Heard that Lucas wanted Mifune to be Obi Wan, didn't know about the Vader bit.

Would have been cool to have him on either role, but Mifune as Kenobi would have changed drastically how the character came across... less a wise old teacher and more a rugged war veteran.


Mifune had the supernatural ability to display the most emotion in the shortest length of film of any actor I've ever seen. For the life of me, I can't imagine Lucas putting that talent to good use.
 
2013-01-14 11:30:59 AM  

The Larch:
Mifune had the supernatural ability to display the most emotion in the shortest length of film of any actor I've ever seen.


I didn't know Kurosawa was alive and posted on Fark.

/he said that.
 
2013-01-14 11:33:19 AM  

The Larch: For the life of me, I can't imagine Lucas putting that talent to good use.


fixed
 
2013-01-14 11:41:03 AM  

NowhereMon: The only thing that makes that headline notable is the fact that it references a Farker. Just because it doesn't have the exact combination of characters that is the username is irrelevant


Actually that makes it quite relevant. You're just bent out of shape that Subby is getting away with it by being clever.
 
2013-01-14 11:47:29 AM  
Which movie had the gayest over tones, Top Gun or Roadhouse?

While Top Gun had the shower scene, and talk of riding tail, it was more effeminately queer.

Now Roadhouse had the line "I used to fark guys like you in prison" which is more butch, but still homo sexual.  Then we have patrick swayzes lesbian style mullet and his outfits that were just a little too form fitting and a shirt that was always coming off to show his smooth, hairless chest.

Plus, was the Sam Elliot character also an old lover?  Hence the revenge rampage he went on?

What of the leading ladies(no not Cruise) but Kelly Mcgillis and Kelly Lynch?  Kelly was sorta attractive but is a real life lesbo and looks likes like an older version of Susan "Stop" the insanity powers.  Lynch has held up better but I feel her roll in Roadhouse was more of a beard.
 
2013-01-14 11:53:36 AM  

Thats No Moose: Only if you don't click on the link provided by Luckless_Wonder.


Yeesh... that's rough...
 
2013-01-14 11:55:18 AM  

NowhereMon: Kyro: NowhereMon: I got banned for calling out farkers in a headline once, but this gets greenlit.
[2.bp.blogspot.com image 400x360]

Did you use their username in the headline? Because this one didn't. The devil's in the details, and knowing that might make you want to gripe less.

The only thing that makes that headline notable is the fact that it references a Farker. Just because it doesn't have the exact combination of characters that is the username is irrelevant, it is still just as much of a call out. And this is Fark, it is all about complaining about inconsistent administration and moderation is par for the course, nay, an art in its own right, deal with it.


Have you ever reported anyone for a headline about naval aviation?
 
2013-01-14 11:56:18 AM  

theflatline: Which movie had the gayest over tones, Top Gun or Roadhouse?

While Top Gun had the shower scene, and talk of riding tail, it was more effeminately queer.

Now Roadhouse had the line "I used to fark guys like you in prison" which is more butch, but still homo sexual.  Then we have patrick swayzes lesbian style mullet and his outfits that were just a little too form fitting and a shirt that was always coming off to show his smooth, hairless chest.

Plus, was the Sam Elliot character also an old lover?  Hence the revenge rampage he went on?

What of the leading ladies(no not Cruise) but Kelly Mcgillis and Kelly Lynch?  Kelly was sorta attractive but is a real life lesbo and looks likes like an older version of Susan "Stop" the insanity powers.  Lynch has held up better but I feel her roll in Roadhouse was more of a beard.


Don't forget the volleyball scene.
 
2013-01-14 12:00:48 PM  

NowhereMon: Kyro: NowhereMon: I got banned for calling out farkers in a headline once, but this gets greenlit.
[2.bp.blogspot.com image 400x360]

Did you use their username in the headline? Because this one didn't. The devil's in the details, and knowing that might make you want to gripe less.

The only thing that makes that headline notable is the fact that it references a Farker. Just because it doesn't have the exact combination of characters that is the username is irrelevant, it is still just as much of a call out. And this is Fark, it is all about complaining about inconsistent administration and moderation is par for the course, nay, an art in its own right, deal with it.


Apparently it matters. I had my prior post in this thread deleted because I did use the exact combination of characters that is the user name this headline references. This one will likely be gone too, as it discusses a deleted post.
 
2013-01-14 12:01:48 PM  

LucklessWonder: NowhereMon: Kyro: NowhereMon: I got banned for calling out farkers in a headline once, but this gets greenlit.
[2.bp.blogspot.com image 400x360]

Did you use their username in the headline? Because this one didn't. The devil's in the details, and knowing that might make you want to gripe less.

The only thing that makes that headline notable is the fact that it references a Farker. Just because it doesn't have the exact combination of characters that is the username is irrelevant, it is still just as much of a call out. And this is Fark, it is all about complaining about inconsistent administration and moderation is par for the course, nay, an art in its own right, deal with it.

Apparently it matters. I had my prior post in this thread deleted because I did use the exact combination of characters that is the user name this headline references. This one will likely be gone too, as it discusses a deleted post.


Nevermind, I see the post that I thought was gone after having my 6th coffee of the day.
 
2013-01-14 12:02:43 PM  

UNC_Samurai: I smell......TMLO Theater.


No, sorry, that was me. Too much GoLean Crunch for breakfast.

/I don't think he even logs in to Fark until much later in the afternoon/evening...
 
2013-01-14 12:09:44 PM  

The All-Powerful Atheismo: I just saw Samurai Rebellion. That movie was pretty slow but it was awesome.


You were playing the VHS tape on SP.

treesloth: Hmm... Sounds like I missed something good. May I humbly ask for an explanation of the headline?


DarkPascual: /I will admit, I don't get the headline.


Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener is a bit of a fixture here on Fark.com. He's most well-known for TMLO Theater, as well as cinematic commentary and the occasional Final-Countdown-Roll.

He's also a bit of a late starter. IIRC, I have almost never seen him on before 5 PM EST.
 
2013-01-14 12:17:08 PM  
You guys have explained too much and spoiled it all.  Like UFIA, TMLO theatre must be a complete surprise, otherwise it doesn't have organic appeal.  It exists on a quantum level- the act of discussing it destroys it.
 
2013-01-14 12:20:02 PM  

give me doughnuts: NeoCortex42: padraig: theorellior: xanadian: /except at the end

Jedi's the most insulting installment! Because Vader's beautiful black visage is sullied when he pulls off his mask to reveal a feeble, crusty, old white man! They tryin' to tell us that deep inside we all wants to be white!

Well, isn't that true ?

Black Rage!

...nearly pissed myself.


What's a Nubian?
 
2013-01-14 12:21:35 PM  

xanadian: The All-Powerful Atheismo: I just saw Samurai Rebellion. That movie was pretty slow but it was awesome.

You were playing the VHS tape on SP.

treesloth: Hmm... Sounds like I missed something good. May I humbly ask for an explanation of the headline?

DarkPascual: /I will admit, I don't get the headline.

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener is a bit of a fixture here on Fark.com. He's most well-known for TMLO Theater, as well as cinematic commentary and the occasional Final-Countdown-Roll.

He's also a bit of a late starter. IIRC, I have almost never seen him on before 5 PM EST.


Aaahh, you're right... I've seen here from time to time...

Thanks!
 
2013-01-14 12:30:45 PM  
I submitted this with a better headline.
 
2013-01-14 12:32:26 PM  

Paris1127: Here's some music for everyone to listen to while we wait for TMLO to make an appearance...

If you wish him to quicken his pace, I'd suggest some putting out some Ecto Cooler or maybe someone should insult the film  Roadhouse.


Don't forget the snickerdoodles.
 
2013-01-14 12:33:44 PM  

Smell the Glove: I submitted this with a better headline.


Nobody believes that.
 
2013-01-14 12:34:31 PM  
Oh.
I get it.
 
2013-01-14 12:35:46 PM  
cue The Final Countdown until TMLO shows...
 
2013-01-14 12:37:12 PM  
Many Bothans died to bring us this information

images1.wikia.nocookie.net

Get to da choppa

crossfitprime.com

But I was going to Toshi Station to pick up some power converters

2.bp.blogspot.com

YEEEEEEARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRAWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAA AHH HHHHHHHHGGGGGGG

lightlybuzzed.com
I'm never going to get to leave this sand dune

i.dailymail.co.uk

End Scene
Theme song

*passes out*
 
2013-01-14 12:43:53 PM  

unyon: You guys have explained too much and spoiled it all.  Like UFIA, TMLO theatre must be a complete surprise, otherwise it doesn't have organic appeal.  It exists on a quantum level- the act of discussing it destroys it.


Great now this thread will be about 3D printers.

Thanks Fartbamo.
 
2013-01-14 12:45:20 PM  
I will have the penne ala aribbiata. No I don't need a tray!

\not really obscure..
 
2013-01-14 01:21:20 PM  

xanadian: The All-Powerful Atheismo: I just saw Samurai Rebellion. That movie was pretty slow but it was awesome.

You were playing the VHS tape on SP.

treesloth: Hmm... Sounds like I missed something good. May I humbly ask for an explanation of the headline?

DarkPascual: /I will admit, I don't get the headline.

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener is a bit of a fixture here on Fark.com. He's most well-known for TMLO Theater, as well as cinematic commentary and the occasional Final-Countdown-Roll.

He's also a bit of a late starter. IIRC, I have almost never seen him on before 5 PM EST.


Imagine his response when he finally arrives and sees all of zis!
 
2013-01-14 01:33:30 PM  

treesloth: Sargun: There's a well-known, much beloved farker named Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener who is a big movie buff and makes us laugh with "TMLO Theatre", which is something that might pop up in this thread and you may get to see.

Ah, ok... thanks for the explanation. So the "calling out" isn't hostile, I take it?


No, but technically the headline isn't calling out TMLO since it doesn't use his name directly. More of a roundabout method, if you will.
 
2013-01-14 01:39:32 PM  

xanadian: Elvis_Bogart: Would he have been Darth Vader in Costume, or just in voice?

Definitely Darth Vader. We never get to see his face.

/except at the end


Read TFA: "Then, Mika continued, Mifune was offered the role of Darth Vader. The villain's helmet was apparently designed with Mifune in mind, and if Mifune had taken the role, his face supposedly would have been visible."
 
2013-01-14 01:51:13 PM  
The Axis of Cool

thisdistractedglobe.com

With Bonus Pickens
 
2013-01-14 01:59:39 PM  

xanadian: Elvis_Bogart: Would he have been Darth Vader in Costume, or just in voice?

Definitely Darth Vader. We never get to see his face.

/except at the end


his daughter claims the helmet would've been made to show his face. the other link in the article notes early drafts, the suit wasn't an iron lung but a space suit.


ballistic123: Vader: "Luke, I am your father."
Luke: "...Really?"


if this link is accurate, vader and skywalker were originally different people. looks like luke/leia/vader link only happened so lucas could tie up loose ends.


imagine how different star wars would have been if mifune was vader.
 
2013-01-14 02:02:31 PM  

bulldg4life: *passes out*


Nice, but needs 2 or 3 other trains of thought coming from the various characters all at the same time.
 
2013-01-14 02:08:36 PM  

DammitIForgotMyLogin: One of the most creative ways i've seen of calling out a farker in a headline and getting away with it.


I was going to reply earlier, but I was on a new computer and....
 
2013-01-14 02:15:59 PM  

iron_city_ap: Use the force Roook. That actually might have been pretty badass.


Just because subby got away with it in the headline doesn't mean everybody gets to.
 
2013-01-14 02:30:28 PM  
meh. circlejerk.
 
2013-01-14 02:31:49 PM  
Wonder who would've played the younger Obi Wan had this come to pass. Probably a Korean or something cause George is a moron
 
2013-01-14 02:44:45 PM  

wolfzr2: meh. circlejerk.


i105.photobucket.com
No thanks!
 
2013-01-14 02:53:28 PM  
Mifune thought the sci-fi flick was going to be a kid's movie, hence him passing on the project.

yeah, seems pretty accurate. plus, i don't think the actors in the movie made much money, and I know the actor who played vader made jack shiat.

/ i like star wars and all, but it is a children's movie.
 
2013-01-14 03:02:14 PM  

wolfzr2: meh. circlejerk.


More of a line really
 
2013-01-14 03:05:51 PM  
Paging TMLO; TMLO to thread 7534032, please.
 
2013-01-14 03:09:15 PM  
I want my-
I want my-
I want my-

IT'S THE FINAL COWNT DOWN

beedle dee doo!
beedle dee doot doot dee!
beedledeedoooooo!
asdfhhklkjhfdshhblargh
 
2013-01-14 03:09:52 PM  
If TMLO shows up, this could get way more interesting that it already is.
 
2013-01-14 03:15:35 PM  

Optimal_Illusion: If TMLO shows up, this could get way more interesting that it already is.


I don't know. I feel like the longer he makes us wait, the better this thread will be.

Especially if he logs in as his alt, which I'd presume would be "Waiting For Godot".
 
2013-01-14 03:16:01 PM  
Hmm, so is subby banned? Or is there favoritism going on? Those are the only two options.

/dnrt thread
 
2013-01-14 03:16:29 PM  
Oh, no. Now my kids are singing it.

/we laughed till we cried
 
2013-01-14 03:18:09 PM  
Is this the line for TMLO's arrival?

/save my spot
 
2013-01-14 03:22:15 PM  

sure haven't: Hmm, so is subby banned? Or is there favoritism going on? Those are the only two options.

/dnrt thread


There is a third option, which is reading the thread.
 
2013-01-14 03:26:29 PM  

sure haven't: Hmm, so is subby banned? Or is there favoritism going on? Those are the only two options.

/dnrt thread


there is a third, but it kinda paints you in an unflattering light....
 
2013-01-14 03:35:41 PM  

sno man: there is a third, but it kinda paints you in an unflattering light....


*snert*
 
2013-01-14 03:48:35 PM  
I sincerely admire TMLO. The dude has style.
 
2013-01-14 04:18:13 PM  
Slowly building into epic Fark thread.

Surely TMLO has been notified of this development and is planning his response accordingly.

At the same time, non-response would also be amusingly funny, only to appear in a random other thread and be like, "What, did I post in the wrong thread?"

How much troll is in TMLO? We'll find out ...
 
2013-01-14 04:27:25 PM  
media.tumblr.com

his best work.

R.I.P.
 
2013-01-14 04:27:35 PM  

Pfighting Polish: Slowly building into epic Fark thread.

Surely TMLO has been notified of this development and is planning his response accordingly.

At the same time, non-response would also be amusingly funny, only to appear in a random other thread and be like, "What, did I post in the wrong thread?"

How much troll is in TMLO? We'll find out ...


Don't call me Shirley.
 
2013-01-14 04:35:51 PM  
You suppose if we started a pool on the first TMLO appearance we could get Drew to throw a month of TF at the winner? I'll take 5:02 pm Eastern.
 
2013-01-14 04:38:17 PM  
Maybe he's in the Dave Barry thread. I once had a good discussion with him about Mr. Barry.

/didn't check he Dave Barry thread.
 
2013-01-14 04:39:41 PM  

Igor Jakovsky: Maybe he's in the Dave Barry thread. I once had a good discussion with him about Mr. Barry.

/didn't check he Dave Barry thread.


the
 
2013-01-14 04:40:22 PM  

xanadian: The All-Powerful Atheismo: I just saw Samurai Rebellion. That movie was pretty slow but it was awesome.

You were playing the VHS tape on SP.


que?

It just didn't have any action until the end. Which is ok, just not what I was expecting.
 
2013-01-14 04:41:32 PM  
I'll take 5:07
 
2013-01-14 04:47:59 PM  

ImperialHazman: You suppose if we started a pool on the first TMLO appearance we could get Drew to throw a month of TF at the winner? I'll take 5:02 pm Eastern.


I'll take 5:38 pm Eastern.
 
2013-01-14 05:01:15 PM  

LucklessWonder: I thought it was well known that Mifune was Lucas' first choice for Obi-Wan but the studio/distributor wanted someone more well known in the West, which is why Sir Alec got the nod.

Also, can't have a Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener thread without this.


What sort of fresh hell is this farking shiat. It's like having a dick penetrate my ear and coming out the other one, then exploding.
 
2013-01-14 05:03:00 PM  
24.media.tumblr.com
TMLO....
 
2013-01-14 05:09:44 PM  
i2.listal.com
 
2013-01-14 05:10:17 PM  
 
2013-01-14 05:12:18 PM  
Being this is the internet and all, I'm kinda surprised a simple search doesn't turn up videos of Mifune's fight scenes with CGI light sabers added in. Shoot, I'd be happy with any Samurai movie given that treatment. Are you listening, Disney? I will pay good money to see "Zatoichi vs the Sith Lords"...
 
2013-01-14 05:16:26 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Well, this thread happened. :D

(Hi, all!)


YAY! THE THREAD CAN START NOW...again I guess.
 
2013-01-14 05:16:44 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Hi, all!


farm4.staticflickr.com

/Really tough to find pictures of Cubs fans cheering, but whatever
//Trolling aquigley now?
 
2013-01-14 05:17:47 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Well, this thread happened. :D

(Hi, all!)


What, you think we're that easy??

Welcome home!

/clicked it anyway, just for nostalgia
 
2013-01-14 05:19:44 PM  

SultanofSchwing: LucklessWonder: I thought it was well known that Mifune was Lucas' first choice for Obi-Wan but the studio/distributor wanted someone more well known in the West, which is why Sir Alec got the nod.

Also, can't have a Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener thread without this.

What sort of fresh hell is this farking shiat. It's like having a dick penetrate my ear and coming out the other one, then exploding.


The mental image that put in my head is equal parts hilarious and disturbing.
 
2013-01-14 05:25:46 PM  

NowhereMon: I got banned for calling out farkers in a headline once, but this gets greenlit.
[2.bp.blogspot.com image 400x360]


Depends on the call out and the farker involved. They one you called out may have gone nuts thinking you were going to go all GOPrapey on them and had a problem with it.


/was there a countdown while we waited?
 
2013-01-14 05:27:36 PM  

scumbucket: Being this is the internet and all, I'm kinda surprised a simple search doesn't turn up videos of Mifune's fight scenes with CGI light sabers added in. Shoot, I'd be happy with any Samurai movie given that treatment. Are you listening, Disney? I will pay good money to see "Zatoichi vs the Sith Lords"...


You asked for it...
 
2013-01-14 05:33:46 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Well, this thread happened. :D

(Hi, all!)


YAY.

This thread will get out of control. It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it.
 
2013-01-14 05:36:04 PM  

Clutch2013: SultanofSchwing: LucklessWonder: I thought it was well known that Mifune was Lucas' first choice for Obi-Wan but the studio/distributor wanted someone more well known in the West, which is why Sir Alec got the nod.

Also, can't have a Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener thread without this.

What sort of fresh hell is this farking shiat. It's like having a dick penetrate my ear and coming out the other one, then exploding.

The mental image that put in my head is equal parts hilarious and disturbing.


It's like a combination of Scanners and Boogie Nights.
 
2013-01-14 05:45:40 PM  

SultanofSchwing: scumbucket: Being this is the internet and all, I'm kinda surprised a simple search doesn't turn up videos of Mifune's fight scenes with CGI light sabers added in. Shoot, I'd be happy with any Samurai movie given that treatment. Are you listening, Disney? I will pay good money to see "Zatoichi vs the Sith Lords"...

You asked for it...


1.bp.blogspot.com

So, he's remaking this?
 
2013-01-14 05:46:49 PM  

RatMaster999: SultanofSchwing: scumbucket: Being this is the internet and all, I'm kinda surprised a simple search doesn't turn up videos of Mifune's fight scenes with CGI light sabers added in. Shoot, I'd be happy with any Samurai movie given that treatment. Are you listening, Disney? I will pay good money to see "Zatoichi vs the Sith Lords"...

You asked for it...

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 850x1251]

So, he's remaking this?


ah ha! I forgot about "tit-ship"
 
2013-01-14 05:47:01 PM  

SultanofSchwing: LucklessWonder: I thought it was well known that Mifune was Lucas' first choice for Obi-Wan but the studio/distributor wanted someone more well known in the West, which is why Sir Alec got the nod.

Also, can't have a Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener thread without this.

What sort of fresh hell is this farking shiat. It's like having a dick penetrate my ear and coming out the other one, then exploding.


Earsex, once you go black...you go deaf.
 
2013-01-14 05:50:30 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Well, this thread happened. :D

(Hi, all!)


Thread stops being awesome; becomes super awesome
i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-14 05:52:41 PM  

Sargun: There's a well-known, much beloved farker named Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener who is a big movie buff and makes us laugh


Wouldn't you know it was a Farker with an account number over 100,000 who let the cat outta the bag...

Fark Pro Tip #27: When a noob asks to be let in on an inside joke, feel free to post any explanation you want, except the actual, true explanation.. This confuses the noobs and ensures a great time will be had in the thread.
That is all...
 
2013-01-14 05:59:42 PM  

SultanofSchwing: RatMaster999: SultanofSchwing: scumbucket: Being this is the internet and all, I'm kinda surprised a simple search doesn't turn up videos of Mifune's fight scenes with CGI light sabers added in. Shoot, I'd be happy with any Samurai movie given that treatment. Are you listening, Disney? I will pay good money to see "Zatoichi vs the Sith Lords"...

You asked for it...

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 850x1251]

So, he's remaking this?

ah ha! I forgot about "tit-ship"


I wouldn't mind this being redone as a cgi movie.
 
Boc
2013-01-14 06:07:21 PM  
Came for TMLO, leaving satisfied!
 
2013-01-14 06:28:21 PM  

pute kisses like a man: Mifune thought the sci-fi flick was going to be a kid's movie, hence him passing on the project.

yeah, seems pretty accurate. plus, i don't think the actors in the movie made much money, and I know the actor who played vader made jack shiat.

/ i like star wars and all, but it is a children's movie.


Untrue. The top stars- Ford Fischer, Hammil, Guiness all got points for the movies. The whole reason Guiness came back was that Lucas had made him rich, and felt he owed him.

Lucas is also the type of director who allowed the actors to act as they felt best. Lot of the Stage actors/veterans enjoyed working with Lucas because he trusted them to do their work.
 
2013-01-14 06:34:34 PM  
I missed TMLO's arrival? Ah well...

DANCE TIME!!!
 
2013-01-14 06:36:21 PM  

scumbucket: Being this is the internet and all, I'm kinda surprised a simple search doesn't turn up videos of Mifune's fight scenes with CGI light sabers added in. Shoot, I'd be happy with any Samurai movie given that treatment. Are you listening, Disney? I will pay good money to see "Zatoichi vs the Sith Lords"...


I shudder to think of the folks who wouldn't.


AnotherBluesStringer: YAY! THE THREAD CAN START NOW...again I guess.


*considers some awkward dance competitions, thinks wisely against it*


Pfighting Polish: farm4.staticflickr.com

/Really tough to find pictures of Cubs fans cheering, but whatever
//Trolling aquigley now?



*snert*

Heeeeeeey, *I'M* a Cubs fan! That... kinda stings (but mostly doesn't).


RatMaster999: So, he's remaking this?


Couldn't hurt!


cretinbob: Depends on the call out and the farker involved.


Pretty much this.

No harm, no foul, etc.


fusillade762: This thread will get out of control. It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it.


BATTLE STATIONS

PUT THE LARGE METAL SAUCEPANS ON EVERYONE'S HEADS


Boc: Came for TMLO, leaving satisfied!


If you're not satisfied with these posts, please return unused portions for a full refund*!

(*Offer not valid anywhere.)


FloydA: Thread stops being awesome; becomes super awesome


Bill Nye proved this!

(The Mythbusters are currently working to refute this.)
 
2013-01-14 06:38:23 PM  

Wasn't Looking at his Neck: DANCE TIME!!!


Oh, he was *such* a badass in Drunken Angel. His first collaboration with Kurosawa, incidentally.


Wasn't Looking at his Neck: I missed TMLO's arrival? Ah well...


Never fear!

We'll throw in an oldie but a goodie!

i210.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-14 06:45:40 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Wasn't Looking at his Neck: DANCE TIME!!!

Oh, he was *such* a badass in Drunken Angel. His first collaboration with Kurosawa, incidentally.



I love that movie.

Have you seen Samurai Rebellion?
 
2013-01-14 06:49:52 PM  

The All-Powerful Atheismo: I love that movie.

Have you seen Samurai Rebellion?


Oh yeah!

There were other movies in that same vein that were released from Criterion Collection - as part of that Rebel Samurai box set, I believe - but I didn't snag them yet.

I might rewatch The Sword of Doom tonight, just because.
 
2013-01-14 07:13:27 PM  
I didn't realize call outs were frowned upon. Glad no offense was taken.
 
2013-01-14 07:18:24 PM  
I don't know, a guy who plays a samurai swordsman playing Obi Wan? That's a little on the nose, isn't it? Would the cantina scene be as badass for a samurai to slice someone's arm off than Alec Guinness?
 
2013-01-14 07:18:35 PM  

foxfirex: I didn't realize call outs were frowned upon. Glad no offense was taken.


It's news to me that it's ban worthy. Why not red light and just move on?
 
2013-01-14 07:20:17 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: The All-Powerful Atheismo: I love that movie.

Have you seen Samurai Rebellion?

Oh yeah!

There were other movies in that same vein that were released from Criterion Collection - as part of that Rebel Samurai box set, I believe - but I didn't snag them yet.

I might rewatch The Sword of Doom tonight, just because.


I was disappointed by the sword of doom. I was bothered by the fact that some of the conflicts are unresolved. Like how it sets you up for a duel mid-film and then just jumps years into the future with no explanation.
 
2013-01-14 07:33:22 PM  

The All-Powerful Atheismo: I was disappointed by the sword of doom. I was bothered by the fact that some of the conflicts are unresolved. Like how it sets you up for a duel mid-film and then just jumps years into the future with no explanation.


I believe they had plans for other films in the series, but that fell through.

Shame, really, because there was a lot of potential there.


thecpt: foxfirex: I didn't realize call outs were frowned upon. Glad no offense was taken.

It's news to me that it's ban worthy. Why not red light and just move on?


If the callout is particularly obnoxious (and on TFD, there's been a few of those from time to time), then it *is* in the interest of the mods to get out the comically large Clown Hammer and bonk subby on the head to discourage that kind of behavior.


Mugato: I don't know, a guy who plays a samurai swordsman playing Obi Wan? That's a little on the nose, isn't it? Would the cantina scene be as badass for a samurai to slice someone's arm off than Alec Guinness?


I'm just upset that they couldn't seal the deal and get Nick Nolte as Han Solo, because Nick Nolte is never not funny.
 
2013-01-14 07:46:49 PM  

Elvis_Bogart: Would he have been Darth Vader in Costume, or just in voice?


An article on yahoo mentions the helmet may have been made with Mifune in mind and would probably have been open faced or at least able to be opened.
 
2013-01-14 07:48:51 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: The All-Powerful Atheismo: I was disappointed by the sword of doom. I was bothered by the fact that some of the conflicts are unresolved. Like how it sets you up for a duel mid-film and then just jumps years into the future with no explanation.

I believe they had plans for other films in the series, but that fell through.

Shame, really, because there was a lot of potential there.


What was cool though was that the main character is played by the same actor who plays one of the two leads in "Kill!" (from the criterion box set) and I didn't even notice at first because he does such a good job playing two completely different character types.
 
2013-01-14 07:50:14 PM  

DarkPascual: Heard that Lucas wanted Mifune to be Obi Wan, didn't know about the Vader bit.

Would have been cool to have him on either role, but Mifune as Kenobi would have changed drastically how the character came across... less a wise old teacher and more a rugged war veteran.

/I will admit, I don't get the headline.


And after watching the most recent movies, I can see Obi Wan as a warrior. Not as reckless as Anakin but more impulsive than Qui-Gon or Yoda....


Good god, I am a geek
 
2013-01-14 08:29:42 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: treesloth: Sargun: There's a well-known, much beloved farker named Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener who is a big movie buff and makes us laugh with "TMLO Theatre", which is something that might pop up in this thread and you may get to see.

Ah, ok... thanks for the explanation. So the "calling out" isn't hostile, I take it?

No, but technically the headline isn't calling out TMLO since it doesn't use his name directly. More of a roundabout method, if you will.


"Plausable deniability"
 
2013-01-14 08:30:58 PM  
Whatever happened to Rann Xerox?

images2.wikia.nocookie.net
...with sweat and dead man's balls, of course.
 
2013-01-14 08:31:05 PM  

crow: Sargun: There's a well-known, much beloved farker named Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener who is a big movie buff and makes us laugh

Wouldn't you know it was a Farker with an account number over 100,000 who let the cat outta the bag...

Fark Pro Tip #27: When a noob asks to be let in on an inside joke, feel free to post any explanation you want, except the actual, true explanation.. This confuses the noobs and ensures a great time will be had in the thread.
That is all...


Gene Masseth.
 
2013-01-14 08:58:35 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: *considers some awkward dance competitions, thinks wisely against it*


Considering where you are, I think "awkward dance" is a bit redundant

Speaking of considering where you are... I have to ask, is this you?
 
2013-01-14 09:01:06 PM  
Wait... did I win the bet?
 
2013-01-14 09:02:35 PM  

fusillade762: crow: Sargun: There's a well-known, much beloved farker named Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener who is a big movie buff and makes us laugh

Wouldn't you know it was a Farker with an account number over 100,000 who let the cat outta the bag...

Fark Pro Tip #27: When a noob asks to be let in on an inside joke, feel free to post any explanation you want, except the actual, true explanation.. This confuses the noobs and ensures a great time will be had in the thread.
That is all...

Gene Masseth.


Shhhhh.
 
2013-01-14 09:02:51 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: I'm just upset that they couldn't seal the deal and get Nick Nolte as Han Solo, because Nick Nolte is never not funny.


God, that would have actually made the series watchable for me.

/it would have been especially good when they got around to the third trilogy, given that he now looks like everyone's drunken grandfather.
 
2013-01-14 09:03:41 PM  

Darth_Lukecash: The whole reason Guiness came back was that Lucas had made him rich, and felt he owed him.


Indeed. Guinness got 2% of Lucas's 20% of the gross. That's... a lot. The other main three stars got 0.25% each I think. Anyway, Mifune could have got the same deal. I wonder if realizing he'd left a lot of money on the table was on his mind when he signed on for Shogun.
 
2013-01-14 09:04:51 PM  

crow: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 400x290]

"Dammit... Where's my letter opener????"


He's got big aerolas.
 
2013-01-14 09:06:54 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Well, this thread happened. :D

(Hi, all!)


NOOO I MISSED IT!
 
2013-01-14 09:23:21 PM  
I don't get it.
 
2013-01-14 10:07:12 PM  

Darth_Lukecash:
Untrue. The top stars- Ford Fischer, Hammil, Guiness all got points for the movies. The whole reason Guiness came back was that Lucas had made him rich, and felt he owed him.


The points are the whole thing.
 
2013-01-14 10:07:15 PM  
"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can pos..."

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-01-14 10:27:47 PM  

fusillade762: crow: Sargun: There's a well-known, much beloved farker named Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener who is a big movie buff and makes us laugh

Wouldn't you know it was a Farker with an account number over 100,000 who let the cat outta the bag...

Fark Pro Tip #27: When a noob asks to be let in on an inside joke, feel free to post any explanation you want, except the actual, true explanation.. This confuses the noobs and ensures a great time will be had in the thread.
That is all...

Gene Masseth.


The guy that dropped a quad?
 
2013-01-14 10:41:41 PM  

StoPPeRmobile: "Plausable deniability"


More like "PlausabLOL deniability," AMIRIIIIIIITE?

...

I think that's right.

Donnchadha: Considering where you are, I think "awkward dance" is a bit redundant

Speaking of considering where you are... I have to ask, is this you?


If there's no breakdancing involved, you can safely assume that it's NOT me.


pivazena: Wait... did I win the bet?


YES, and let's tell her what she's won, Johnny!

IT'S A NEW CAAAAAAAAAAAR!

*raucous applause*


Dwight_Yeast: God, that would have actually made the series watchable for me.

/it would have been especially good when they got around to the third trilogy, given that he now looks like everyone's drunken grandfather.


That's a tad harsh towards drunken grandfathers everywhere.

Drunken GREAT-grandfathers, maybe...


loonatic112358: NOOO I MISSED IT!


IT'S ALL GOOD, AS WE TIVO'D THAT ISH FOR YOU


Son of Thunder: "If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can pos..."

[25.media.tumblr.com image 150x115]


HAHAHAHA

Okay, THAT'S boss!
 
2013-01-14 10:48:14 PM  
I like TMLO. You've maintained one of the best, and most liked personas of FARK. Good on you.

/Cheers
 
2013-01-14 10:48:50 PM  
I believe it.
 
2013-01-14 11:10:33 PM  

Mugato: I don't know, a guy who plays a samurai swordsman playing Obi Wan? That's a little on the nose, isn't it? Would the cantina scene be as badass for a samurai to slice someone's arm off than Alec Guinness?


If Mifune had done it, there would have been much screaming, leaping about, flashing of swords, swirling of kimonos, and he would have laughed devilishly as he sheathed his blade.

He's just awesome that way.
 
2013-01-15 01:19:56 AM  

crow: [static.thereckoner.net image 318x400]

"That's no moon...... That's a space station"


One of my favorite images of Mifune, so I decided to keep it around:

hormozi.smugmug.com
 
2013-01-15 02:21:27 AM  
Fun read tonight. Thanks.
 
2013-01-15 12:55:31 PM  
The lack of true TMLO theater saddens me greatly.
 
2013-01-15 05:30:16 PM  

Zafler: The lack of true TMLO theater saddens me greatly.


All I can say is "never say never."

Also, "you never know," but that would be saying "never," which makes the whole thing a logic loop, so...


TeddyRooseveltsMustache: I believe it.


But you don't have to take MY word for it!

(do do DO!)


mariner314: Fun read tonight. Thanks.


Heh, I rather liked it, aye!


awooga: One of my favorite images of Mifune, so I decided to keep it around:

hormozi.smugmug.com


It's as if he's thinking, "How am I going to mess these fools up?"


StopDon'tTouchMeThere: I like TMLO. You've maintained one of the best, and most liked personas of FARK. Good on you.

/Cheers


*tips hat*

I do what I can, mammajamma.

Thanks for the kind words - cheers!
 
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