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(GoComics)   How cyclists see their fellow humans   (gocomics.com) divider line 147
    More: Amusing, swines  
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30048 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Jan 2013 at 2:04 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-01-13 02:16:38 PM  
22 votes:
As a daily bicycle commuter and model of good road cycling behavior (yes, I stop and sit there at red lights), nothing annoys me more than Jef-esque douches. Guess what, self-important cyclists of the Entitlement Generation: You're not helping the law-abiding, courteous, and Spandex-free road sharers. Just stay home if you can't behave.
2013-01-13 02:15:34 PM  
16 votes:

Quantum Apostrophe: If a bike weighs 3000 pounds and has 300 horsepower at its disposal, they might have a point. I have this thing called a brain. It allows me to understand my surroundings and plan my movements. I can stop on a dime. My bike weighs 13 pounds. At worst, someone will have a contusion.
/Proud red light runner since like forever
//Cyclists who smoke and wear headphones and text while cycling are the problem. (I've seen that)
///And don't get me started on Rascals and scooters on the bike path


Keep running those red lights and forever is gonna take a turn for the worse. And my sympathy will be with the poor soul who ends up smacking you because they will bear the burden of running into your stupidity.
2013-01-13 02:14:09 PM  
14 votes:

Quantum Apostrophe: /Proud red light runner since like forever


I'm looking forward to rinsing you out of my grill one day.
2013-01-13 02:18:06 PM  
12 votes:

Quantum Apostrophe: At worst, someone will have a contusion.


Sutchi Hui begs to differ
I get it, it takes you a while to get up to speed and you don't want to have to stop at every red light, but seriously, if you use the road, the rules apply to you.
2013-01-13 02:20:44 PM  
11 votes:

Quantum Apostrophe: If a bike weighs 3000 pounds and has 300 horsepower at its disposal, they might have a point. I have this thing called a brain. It allows me to understand my surroundings and plan my movements. I can stop on a dime. My bike weighs 13 pounds. At worst, someone will have a contusion.
/Proud red light runner since like forever
//Cyclists who smoke and wear headphones and text while cycling are the problem. (I've seen that)
///And don't get me started on Rascals and scooters on the bike path


So a driver has no right to expect you to behave as a vehicle? So they stop at the 4-way stop, expecting you to stop next. They go (all legal), you blow in front of them, they have to jam on the brakes. You think that's fine?

Traffic rules are there so that people know what to expect on the road. Random violations are so common by bikes that I assume they'll do the dumbest possible thing at any given moment, with no regard for their own safety. I don't care if the cyclist is 100% at fault and there's video evidence of it: I don't want to kill one. So stop being douchebags and follow the damned rules.
2013-01-13 02:31:21 PM  
7 votes:

Quantum Apostrophe: If a bike weighs 3000 pounds and has 300 horsepower at its disposal, they might have a point. I have this thing called a brain. It allows me to understand my surroundings and plan my movements. I can stop on a dime. My bike weighs 13 pounds. At worst, someone will have a contusion.
/Proud red light runner since like forever
//Cyclists who smoke and wear headphones and text while cycling are the problem. (I've seen that)
///And don't get me started on Rascals and scooters on the bike path


As someone who bikes to work regularly, let me assure you that you ARE the problem and you ARE breaking the law. I hope you get pulled over and fined.

I stop for red lights and stop signs.
2013-01-13 02:26:37 PM  
7 votes:

Quantum Apostrophe: MrHelpful: That wasn't very helpful. People who obey the law can get killed as easily. I look where the hell I am going. Red wavelength photons emanating from a municipal structure are just a guideline for me. Far worse are the cyclists with headphones on, they are ignoring audio cues the entire time they are riding, I'm just running red lights once or twice.

That being said, I am in fairly good shape and have a decent bike. I also shift down when I brake so I can get back to speed easily. So I'm quite agile. When I go camping on my bike and have extra weight on my backpack and can't see as well, I slow down and obey traffic lights more, especially when I'm out of town.

Running red lights is a culture thing here in Montreal. Our drivers can barely master "right on green" so if I stopped at a red light that would be MORE dangerous as no one would expect it!


Nice try but your bragging about blowing red lights is what makes my comment helpful. Everything else you said is just a rationalization for your dangerous and stupid behavior.
wee
2013-01-13 01:41:04 PM  
7 votes:

serial_crusher: Is that supposed to have been funny?


I think he was going for accurate more than funny.
2013-01-13 02:58:14 PM  
6 votes:

Amishrabbit: As a daily bicycle commuter and model of good road cycling behavior (yes, I stop and sit there at red lights), nothing annoys me more than Jef-esque douches. Guess what, self-important cyclists of the Entitlement Generation: You're not helping the law-abiding, courteous, and Spandex-free road sharers. Just stay home if you can't behave.


This.

As a person who does all of my incity chores by bike, I am so sick of the pompous arrogance of the Lycra brigade as they blow through every law on the road. You want to know why people are so wary of bikes? Because they have no idea what you are going to do next and then they will have their insurance go up because of your dumbass.

/fark Critical Mass
2013-01-13 02:27:06 PM  
6 votes:

Quantum Apostrophe: If a bike weighs 3000 pounds and has 300 horsepower at its disposal, they might have a point. I have this thing called a brain. It allows me to understand my surroundings and plan my movements. I can stop on a dime. My bike weighs 13 pounds. At worst, someone will have a contusion.
/Proud red light runner since like forever


Do you remember the discussion here about the blog post by Chris Bucchere (pronounced, I hope, "butcher") in which he wrote

The light turned yellow as I was approaching the intersection, but I was already way too committed to stop. The light turned red as I was cruising through the middle of the intersection and then, almost instantly, the southern crosswalk on Market and Castro filled up with people coming from both directions...I couldn't see a line through the crowd and I couldn't stop, so I laid it down and just plowed through the crowded crosswalk in the least-populated place I could find.
I remember seeing a RIVER of blood on the asphalt, but it wasn't mine. I really hope he ends up OK.


If so, you may recall that "he" didn't end up OK. "He", a 71 year old man called Sutchi Hui, died in hospital.

Except insofar as no man is an island, I'm not greatly disturbed by cyclists or car drivers who kill themselves doing stupid things. I'm much more bothered when they affect other people; either those they hit and injure or kill or those whom they involve in the accident. When you end up under the wheels of a car at one of those red light, mangled, broken and quite possibly dead, the car driver is going to feel terrible, even though it will be entirely your fault.
2013-01-13 01:29:06 PM  
6 votes:
Yeah. That's about right.

Self identified cyclists are the lowest form of life on the road. Basically they're below possums and deed. At least there's 70lbs of good eatin' on a deer. You hit a cyclist, the best you can hope for is the police charging them for causing the accident. Too stringy for the cookpot.
2013-01-13 02:37:12 PM  
5 votes:

Quantum Apostrophe: PrivateCaboose: Please describe for who I am a problem when there is no one around?


Because we all have to follow traffic laws regardless to prevent collisions when there is someone else there we don't see.
2013-01-13 02:26:31 PM  
5 votes:

Quantum Apostrophe: If a bike weighs 3000 pounds and has 300 horsepower at its disposal, they might have a point. I have this thing called a brain. It allows me to understand my surroundings and plan my movements. I can stop on a dime. My bike weighs 13 pounds. At worst, someone will have a contusion.
/Proud red light runner since like forever
//Cyclists who smoke and wear headphones and text while cycling are the problem. (I've seen that)
///And don't get me started on Rascals and scooters on the bike path


Yeah, but no one else can predict what crazy-ass thing you're going to do. That's why we have these things called "traffic laws," and you're supposed to follow them.

//very tired of the "never been in an accident . . . but caused dozens" variety of self-absorption
2013-01-13 02:21:40 PM  
5 votes:
I remember a great cyclist moment.

Where I used to live, the road outside my house was a popular one for those huge long "trains" of 30 cyclists who ignore all traffic laws and in general act like total douchebags. I lived on the intersection of that road and a small road that went to a community behind my block. I've often almost been struck as a pedestrian by these asses. Well, one day, there was a big ol F-350000 huge honkin pick'up truck at the intersection, the light turned green, and he started into the intersection. Just as one of these douche-trains was in the process of ignoring their red light.

That "THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP sound that they made each smacking into the side of the pickup truck made my day. It was probably the most satisfying sound I've ever heard in my life.

/ #2 was afterwards, the shreeking and biatching and moaning from the lawbreaking cyclists picking up their twisted wrecked bikes, who were FURIOUS at the truck driver who dared to enter the intersection on a green light.
2013-01-13 02:38:47 PM  
4 votes:
Closest I've ever come to an accident was when a cyclist was going the wrong way down a one way street inches from where the street I was on met the street he was on. I stopped, looked to make sure that there was no traffic and started to pull out (remember one way street). I pulled out about three inches when a cyclists sped by the front of my car going well above the speed limit. Prick then had the audacity to give me a dirty look.

/Want to use the public road? Than obey the same damn traffic laws as everyone else, dammit.
2013-01-13 02:23:09 PM  
4 votes:
Quantum Apostrophe is also a bike douche; this explains much about his threadshiatting in space threads.
2013-01-13 02:19:49 PM  
4 votes:

How bicyclists treat pedestrians:


1.bp.blogspot.com


If I had the money I would pay off every state politician in Massachusetts to pass a law requiring all bicyclists to ride in the road only. I'm tired of the riders who act like they own the sidewalk.

2013-01-13 02:19:22 PM  
4 votes:

theorellior: doyner: I'm looking forward to rinsing you out of my grill one day.

If a cyclist runs a red light and no motorist's right-of-way is infringed, does a driver still get butthurt?


Not at all.  It's the motorist with a green light that has right-of-way and still has cross traffic because of pedal-powered assholes that gets "butthurt" as you call it.
2013-01-13 02:17:33 PM  
4 votes:
before the internet, cartoons had to be funny or else they didn't get published
2013-01-13 02:12:56 PM  
4 votes:
Tip for bicyclists, if you are really hardcore, you buy the heaviest/crappiest bike available and wear normal clothes if you want to get the best workout.
2013-01-13 03:54:15 PM  
3 votes:

theorellior: doyner: And yet no one is defending dickhead drivers....

I'm not defending dickhead cyclists. The last think I want to do is hit a pedestrian. It would really fark up my day, since I'm, you know, on a bike and not in a car.

I don't ride like a dick. I ride defensively. Cars can kill me just as look at me sideways. But just as drivers break laws for their own convenience every damn day without any repercussions, I'm gonna do the same on my bike.


I haven't met many drivers who see blowing through red lights or randomly changing behavior from that of a motor vehicle to that of a pedestrian as not only okay, but their god-given right.

Cyclists, on the other hand...
2013-01-13 03:45:35 PM  
3 votes:

theorellior: Glendale: Cyclists on 13 pound bikes do kill pedestrians just as dead as cars do.

The number of pedestrians killed by cars is probably four orders of magnitude greater.


And yet no one is defending dickhead drivers....
2013-01-13 03:35:21 PM  
3 votes:

orbister: Too_many_Brians: As a person who does all of my incity chores by bike, I am so sick of the pompous arrogance of the Lycra brigade as they blow through every law on the road. You want to know why people are so wary of bikes? Because they have no idea what you are going to do next and then they will have their insurance go up because of your dumbass.

When I cycle, the behaviour of some car drivers leads me to despair. When I drive, the behaviour of some cyclists leads me to despair. Both sides really need to appreciate the others more: drivers need to know how incredibly vulnerable cyclists are and cyclists need to realise how very difficult it can be for cars to see them, particularly at night, and therefore how important it is to be visible and behave predictably.


THIS.

All I friggin' ask as a motorist.
2013-01-13 03:33:00 PM  
3 votes:

ElBarto79: There's a reason we don't follow all the rules of the road; no one in a position of authority ever tells us not to. I've blown through red lights with a cop sitting right there watching. They never do anything, ever. You can call us arrogant if you want but if you knew cops wouldn't ticket you for running a red light I'm pretty sure you would do the same thing.

I think of it like this; considering all the crap cyclists have to deal with on a daily basis - getting cut off, cursed at, splashed with water, run into (happened to me a few weeks ago), etc. we deserve to run a few red lights. Don't like it? Too bad, get your own bike and join us.


Moron. I don't stop at a red light because I might get a ticket if I don't. I stop at red lights to increase my chances of dying in bed.
2013-01-13 03:29:01 PM  
3 votes:

Glendale: Quantum Apostrophe: If a bike weighs 3000 pounds and has 300 horsepower at its disposal, they might have a point. I have this thing called a brain. It allows me to understand my surroundings and plan my movements. I can stop on a dime. My bike weighs 13 pounds. At worst, someone will have a contusion.
/Proud red light runner since like forever
//Cyclists who smoke and wear headphones and text while cycling are the problem. (I've seen that)
///And don't get me started on Rascals and scooters on the bike path

You have to be trolling, or you're that cyclist in San Francisco that hit and killed a pedestrian then lamented about his helmet being broken. Cyclists on 13 pound bikes do kill pedestrians just as dead as cars do.


The bike weighs 13lbs, but the momentum striking the pedestrian includes the 130-170 lb dickhead riding it.  Physics motherfarker, how does it work?
2013-01-13 03:13:08 PM  
3 votes:

doyner: Quantum Apostrophe: /Proud red light runner since like forever

I'm looking forward to rinsing you out of my grill one day.


Got hit by a red light running bicyclist 2 years ago. I had the green, the cyclist blew the light and hit my left front fender. The sight of her cartwheeling over my hood and *splatting* down in the middle of the intersection is something I will never forget.

/barely dented the fender
//farked her up
2013-01-13 02:34:33 PM  
3 votes:

TV's Vinnie: D-Bag cyclist about to zip past my car.

Open car door innocently.

*P-THUMP!*

Bask in the glory.

Then, get cyclist's name in order to have car door repaired by his insurance. Sue him if he doesn't have one. Further bask in greater glory.


That happened to a friend of mine who was riding in the bike lane. She needs surgery now and the cop found the dude liable, so his insurance will be covering it.

If you're intentionally a dick, the law probably won't be on your side.
2013-01-13 02:29:07 PM  
3 votes:

JasonOfOrillia: I'm a cyclist and most of the motorists I come across drive reasonably. There are some idiots that cut you off or park in bike lanes or run red lights, but these people are in the minority. And I've seen plenty of cyclists do stupid things too. There is enough of that to go around for everyone.

On the other hand Pedos (Pedestrians) with their constant jaywalking slow things down for everyone as they stroll everywhere with their pedestrians-have-the-right-of-way bullshiat attitude.


Hey fark you too buddy.

/pedestrian
//doesn't jaywalk

///seriously, equating people who jaywalk with people who are sexual predators of children? I'd invite you to stay classy but I'd have to believe you had any in the first place
2013-01-13 02:26:17 PM  
3 votes:

theorellior: doyner: Not at all. It's the motorist with a green light that has right-of-way and still has cross traffic because of pedal-powered assholes that gets "butthurt" as you call it.

It was a riff on the "tree falling in the forest with no one around making noise" bit. If I run a red light with no oncoming traffic, will you get butthurt just to keep the universe in balance?


I'm in my house right now.  I don't give two farks what's going on outside on local roadways.  My "butthurt" is based on my first-person traffic experience.

Get over yourself.
2013-01-13 02:23:03 PM  
3 votes:

skinink: How bicyclists treat pedestrians:
[1.bp.blogspot.com image 472x848]
If I had the money I would pay off every state politician in Massachusetts to pass a law requiring all bicyclists to ride in the road only. I'm tired of the riders who act like they own the sidewalk.


I don't want that. Just drive/ride according to conditions. That means slow down amongst pedestrians. Not a difficult concept.
2013-01-13 02:22:28 PM  
3 votes:

Quantum Apostrophe: If a bike weighs 3000 pounds and has 300 horsepower at its disposal, they might have a point. I have this thing called a brain. It allows me to understand my surroundings and plan my movements. I can stop on a dime. My bike weighs 13 pounds. At worst, someone will have a contusion.


Only a contusion? Are you sure?
Link
Link
Link
2013-01-13 02:16:04 PM  
3 votes:

doyner: I'm looking forward to rinsing you out of my grill one day.


If a cyclist runs a red light and no motorist's right-of-way is infringed, does a driver still get butthurt?
2013-01-13 02:09:41 PM  
3 votes:
If a bike weighs 3000 pounds and has 300 horsepower at its disposal, they might have a point. I have this thing called a brain. It allows me to understand my surroundings and plan my movements. I can stop on a dime. My bike weighs 13 pounds. At worst, someone will have a contusion.
/Proud red light runner since like forever
//Cyclists who smoke and wear headphones and text while cycling are the problem. (I've seen that)
///And don't get me started on Rascals and scooters on the bike path
2013-01-14 12:58:21 AM  
2 votes:

Mitrovarr: al's hat: I doubt it's explicitly legal for a bicyclist to "blow through" a stop sign or traffic signal in your state in any situation.

1. Define pointless stop in relation to legally required stops.
2. At some point (think doing 50 mph downhill) bicycles may not be able to stop quickly and easily.
3. Nonsense. As a motorist, cyclist, and motorcycle rider I'll grant you that sense of smell on a bike or motorcycle is much better.
4. As a pedestrian I don't want to get hit by 200 pounds of bike and rider or a couple of tons of vehicle and drive. People die from getting hit by bicyclists so saying that one case of irresponsibility is less harmful than another doesn't sit well with me.

I don't think I want to share the road with you whether I'm walking, riding a bike, driving a car, or riding my motorcycle. Your attitude sucks and could end up being a fatal shortcoming.

Look up the 'Idaho stop'. Bicycles in Idaho can treat a stop sign as a yield sign if the intersection is clear. So yes, it's explicitly legal here (although 'blow through' might imply a greater rate of speed than was intended, and it's only stop signs). So here, pointless stops (defined as stops at low-speed intersections that are empty of both pedestrians and vehicles) are not legally required, which is awesome.

As far as the 50 mph downhill idiot, you can't look to him to determine law. He was basically illegally street racing a bicycle. Illegal street racers in cars kill people all the time, but we don't use them to argue that all cars are unsafe. I'm sure he was well over the speed limit and could have been hit up for reckless driving and any number of other offenses, so he wasn't riding legally anyway.

You really don't think you can hear better in a bicycle than in a car? There's no engine running, you're moving at half the speed, and you are outside with no metal and glass cage between you and the sound. You hear MUCH better, and if the environment is quiet, you'll always hear a car approachin ...


"You'll always hear the car approaching"...yeah, we can put that on your tombstone. My motorcycle doesn't make much noise at all. That "loud pipes saves lives" is bullshiat. We're talking about irresponsible behavior, like blowing through stop signs and traffic signals so trivially avoiding pedestrians at 15-20 mph isn't the issue. If you trust bicyclists to do that you haven't worked in a city with bike messengers. You sound like your heart is in the right place but you piled together so many absurd generalities that don't compute I had to say something. Any driver, rider, pedestrian, front porch sitter should be aware that way too many morons have the ability to kill you because they don't give a crap.
2013-01-13 07:13:20 PM  
2 votes:
This is why I asked for a dash cam for xmas. I dread dropping the wife off at campus. Literally every time there is some dbag on a bike running a stop sign or plowing thru a red light at an intersection. Some have headphones, some don't. Some are real special and will literally laugh at you as they run the stop sign in front of you. So for the day that someone runs into me or even walks into me, I will at least have a defense. I used to email the campus cops to just sit at this one intersection, but they really don't care. I really don't like prison and watching other men shiat a foot from my head, so trying to take the high road (no pun intended) on this one and just go with a good defense

Quantum Apostrophe: If a bike weighs 3000 pounds and has 300 horsepower at its disposal, they might have a point. I have this thing called a brain. It allows me to understand my surroundings and plan my movements. I can stop on a dime. My bike weighs 13 pounds. At worst, someone will have a contusion.
/Proud red light runner since like forever
//Cyclists who smoke and wear headphones and text while cycling are the problem. (I've seen that)
///And don't get me started on Rascals and scooters on the bike path


I relish the day I read your obituary.
2013-01-13 06:43:58 PM  
2 votes:

radarlove: Kit Fister: I simply acknowledge my life is infinitely more valuable than someone who would threaten my life or that of my loved ones

Aha- THIS is the core of where our beliefs truly begin to deviate from one another. I humbly accept that my life is no more or less valuable or precious or important than that of even the "worst" people out there.


You have every right to feel that way, but the rest of us will quite rightly feel that you are an idiot.
Including Darwin, for that matter, as that kind of mindset means you and/or your offspring probably won't be successfully surviving to reproduction.

I honestly hope a armed intruder commits a home invasion and tries to kill your family so you can offer to make him a nice cup of tea. I, personally, used a shotgun to end that same little problem myself years ago, and have had no ethical qualms about it at all since. Still feel bad about hitting a feral cat on a highway once years ago, but that dude, just can't bring myself to care much. Not all life has inherent positive value just because its breathing, and some even has a negative value.
2013-01-13 06:13:36 PM  
2 votes:

radarlove: Kit Fister: radarlove: Kit Fister: How so? The fact that he chooses to carry his firearm in a fanny pack rather than a holster?

Actually, I meant the act of carrying a firearm in general.

I'll remember you said that should you ever be attacked.

I've had the shiat kicked out of me many, many times be people with tiny cocks and big guns, and I have yet to feel such cowardice that I'm compelled to try to take their lives.


So, defending yourself is equated to cowardice then? Thus, by extension, the bravest thing you can do is to suffer the attack, the most brave thing being to die at the hands of a criminal/bigot/rapist? WOw, that's some really weird logic ya got going on there.

Personally, having also been attacked and witnessed others being attacked where I could do nothing to help other than throw my body between their attacker and the victim, cowardice or bravery is about how you deal with the situation, not the tools you use.

I don't feel the need to use a gun to defend myself or others because I feel threatened. I feel the need to use a gun to defend myself or others because it's come to a point that if I do not, then a person who didn't deserve to come to harm or death will die. And frankly, I have neither remorse, nor pity, for anyone who would choose to do harm to another without provocation, and who must suffer the consequences of their actions accordingly.

Point a gun at a cop and get shot? You deserved it. Call a black man a n[bong] and get your shiat jacked for it? Definitely deserved it. Get shot because you tried to force yourself on a woman who couldn't physically push you off and had no other recourse? I'll buy her a beer and piss on your grave.

You see, I've been all around this country and I've been in some really sketch places. I'm not afraid of anyone, and I'll keep doing it. However, having seen cases of people shot for as little as the five bucks in their wallet because the asshole didn't believe the guy wasn't holding out on him, I've also firmly decided to stay out of places that might happen, and to do as much damage to my attacker as I can should I be attacked, etc.

I derive no pleasure in believing I may kill someone. I simply acknowledge my life is infinitely more valuable than someone who would threaten my life or that of my loved ones, and have no remorse or compunction on acting in the best interest of my own survival.
2013-01-13 05:50:39 PM  
2 votes:

radarlove: Kit Fister: Yes, because a firearm kept as a tool for self defense equates one to being homosexual. Got it.

No, not homosexual. Most homosexuals, myself included, have huge cocks and thus no need to carry a weapon to compensate.

But being a lilting, cowering, sniveling gun owner who is so afraid of death and his fellow man that he feels the need to carry around a gun? That makes you GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.

And their weakness makes my penis hard and shiny.


Ah, projection issues and lack of comprehension. Thank you. I now know how to classify you. Have a better one!
2013-01-13 05:26:52 PM  
2 votes:

Dr Jack Badofsky: / #2 was afterwards, the shreeking and biatching and moaning from the lawbreaking cyclists picking up their twisted wrecked bikes, who were FURIOUS at the truck driver who dared to enter the intersection on a green light.

How long did it take you to stop laughing at them? It would've taken me a few minutes.


I have actually seen that happen twice at a stop sign near here (I live near a campus) - and both times got violent. One time the guys running the stop sign into cross traffic attacked the driver, the other time the two hippies who ran the light just shouted at the driver, while other passing douchebikers and even a car full of frat boy types stopped and helped attack the driver (all while shouting at him that it was all his fault because bicycles ALWAYS have the legal right of way).

Then again, I have some Masshole acquaintances that invited me to a ride with them, and the brought eggs to throw at cars and wanted to show us how to 'U-lock' parked SUV's (dent them as they drive by with a bike lock).
These people all deserve being run over.
2013-01-13 04:59:34 PM  
2 votes:

theorellior: Kit Fister: I love this...expects tighter gun laws to save people's lives as people will obey those laws, brags about breaking laws that they don't feel are important.

You ever speed in your car?


I think the point of my statement was not that lawbreaking wouldn't happen or that I didn't do it. What I'm saying is that it's rather ironic to brag about breaking the law and turn around and demand more laws.
2013-01-13 04:37:57 PM  
2 votes:
Friend of mine, and cross country teammate in high school ran over and killed a cyclist like 2 weeks after getting his drivers license.  That really farked him up for a couple of years.  He refused to drive.

/spandexed out, power bar eatin', 9lb bike riding bro/douche had run a VERY red light and my buddies F-150 obliterated his ass - like he was spread out over the course of like 200'.  It was gruesome - he was dismembered as he was dragged under the truck.  I saw the aftermath.  Easily one of the most horrifying things I have ever seen.
//douchebag bike rider had been ticketed 4 times for running a red light in the previous year
///his family had the audacity to sue said 16 year old driver and had their asses handed to them by the judge, especially when the defense presented previous tickets for running a red light 4 times previously
2013-01-13 03:41:56 PM  
2 votes:

serial_crusher: orbister: cyclists need to realise how very difficult it can be for cars to see them

If it's difficult for you to see me, even at night, you are either not paying attention or you need to consult an optometrist.  I'm dressed head to toe in reflective clothing and have 4 blinking lights on my bike.

/ "Don't give me the finger, I didn't see you" is one of my favorite quotes from a lady who almost ran me down.  Oh, well, if you weren't paying attention, I guess that makes almost killing me totally ok...


If you die because a car didn't see you, you're still farking dead. Blame the driver if you want, but you're still dead.
2013-01-13 03:23:49 PM  
2 votes:

Quantum Apostrophe: If a bike weighs 3000 pounds and has 300 horsepower at its disposal, they might have a point. I have this thing called a brain. It allows me to understand my surroundings and plan my movements. I can stop on a dime. My bike weighs 13 pounds. At worst, someone will have a contusion.
/Proud red light runner since like forever
//Cyclists who smoke and wear headphones and text while cycling are the problem. (I've seen that)
///And don't get me started on Rascals and scooters on the bike path


You have to be trolling, or you're that cyclist in San Francisco that hit and killed a pedestrian then lamented about his helmet being broken. Cyclists on 13 pound bikes do kill pedestrians just as dead as cars do.
2013-01-13 03:20:53 PM  
2 votes:
I only have one problem with cyclists... not all of them are offenders but the ones that do this are pure evil.

DO NOT try to pass a car in the right lane on the right while that car is making a legal right hand turn. Drivers expect vehicles to follow the rules of the road, when you deviate from one of the most basic (don't pass a car during a turn on the side it's turning to) you will get clocked and you will have deserved it.
2013-01-13 03:17:22 PM  
2 votes:
I must be that rare breed. I stop (or at least slow down and look carefully) at stop lights and signs and generally act as if I were a car driver. Don't go on the sidewalk unless there is one, nobody is there and the road has potholes. Drivers are pretty good in my area about not getting in my way and I try to return the favor.
2013-01-13 02:53:19 PM  
2 votes:
Meh. Dickhead bikers can lobby for changes tp the law until their spandex splits at the seams, but they can't change the laws of physics.

/rides a bike sometimes
//stays the fark out of everyone's way and obeys traffic laws
///doesn't own any spandex
2013-01-13 02:40:50 PM  
2 votes:
I just feel bad for someone that accidentally kills a cyclist because they blew a red light or stop sign.
2013-01-13 02:40:25 PM  
2 votes:

theorellior: doyner: Get over yourself.

LOL. That's rich.


Dude, I generally like you.  My whole point is that it is inherently dickish and dangerous to carve out your own set of traffic laws for your convenience.
2013-01-13 02:33:23 PM  
2 votes:
imageshack.us

I am a cyclist and long time motorist, this is how I see my fellow humans. Actually I don't see many of them out here because they're too goddamn fat and lazy to do anything like top out on something with your bike. I have no illusion of superiority about it, I am just one less thing in your way and I'm not bothering anyone.
2013-01-13 02:31:38 PM  
2 votes:

Any Pie Left: Quantum Apostrophe is also a bike douche; this explains much about his threadshiatting in space threads.


i'm also getting the "precious and unique snowflake" vibe.
2013-01-13 02:26:21 PM  
2 votes:
D-Bag cyclist about to zip past my car.

Open car door innocently.

*P-THUMP!*

Bask in the glory.

Then, get cyclist's name in order to have car door repaired by his insurance. Sue him if he doesn't have one. Further bask in greater glory.
2013-01-13 02:26:09 PM  
2 votes:

theorellior: doyner: I'm looking forward to rinsing you out of my grill one day.

If a cyclist runs a red light and no motorist's right-of-way is infringed, does a driver still get butthurt?


Not necessarily, but the pedestrian trying to cross (legally, on their signal) gets pretty pissed off. You can stop on a dime. Try doing it sometime.
2013-01-13 02:25:16 PM  
2 votes:

JasonOfOrillia: I'm a cyclist and most of the motorists I come across drive reasonably. There are some idiots that cut you off or park in bike lanes or run red lights, but these people are in the minority. And I've seen plenty of cyclists do stupid things too. There is enough of that to go around for everyone.

On the other hand Pedos (Pedestrians) with their constant jaywalking slow things down for everyone as they stroll everywhere with their pedestrians-have-the-right-of-way bullshiat attitude.


In defense of pedestrians, most cars are assholes at marked crosswalks that aren't enforced with a redlight. And I'm more surprised when cars at redlights HAVEN'T stopped with their car completely through the crosswalk. Also. At lights where a turn lane has to share with the crosswalk, drivers act like its the worst thing ever if you keep them from turning immediately because you're tyring to cross the frigging road when the light says you can.
2013-01-13 02:18:40 PM  
2 votes:
I'm a cyclist and most of the motorists I come across drive reasonably. There are some idiots that cut you off or park in bike lanes or run red lights, but these people are in the minority. And I've seen plenty of cyclists do stupid things too. There is enough of that to go around for everyone.

On the other hand Pedos (Pedestrians) with their constant jaywalking slow things down for everyone as they stroll everywhere with their pedestrians-have-the-right-of-way bullshiat attitude.
2013-01-13 02:16:38 PM  
2 votes:
I just love when I heard from the cyclist in question who was followed by a cop for a bit in a downtown environment. When he was finally pulled over he was given three tickets for running three red lights. $124 per light.
2013-01-13 02:16:21 PM  
2 votes:

xanadian: Jef had boobs. Is 'Jef' short for 'Jefercina,' or 'Jefelle'?


Guest artist Rob Liefeld.
2013-01-13 02:12:09 PM  
2 votes:
There's a difference between a two-ton steel vehicle powered by distilled petroleum and a twenty pound vehicle powered by oatmeal and sausage. Most of the present traffic laws were written when the top speed of both vehicles were around eighteen miles per hour. But keep complaining, I know it's terribly difficult to accelerate an automobile, you have to depress your right foot by about a centimeter, you might get a blister or something.
2013-01-13 02:09:51 PM  
2 votes:
I always pack heat when I cycle, so that if a driver swerves and crushes my legs, I can shoot him in the dick afterwards.
2013-01-15 09:22:46 AM  
1 votes:
Red light runners like Quantum value their momentum more than the law or life. This seems the opposite of what most velocipede operators are after. Getting going again from a standing start is work, is exercise. Red light runners are pussies that enjoy coasting on momentum or a downhill gravity run. They're freeloaders, avoiding working out and crying when they have to actually use their quadriceps.
2013-01-14 09:42:16 PM  
1 votes:

Amishrabbit: As a daily bicycle commuter and model of good road cycling behavior (yes, I stop and sit there at red lights), nothing annoys me more than Jef-esque douches. Guess what, self-important cyclists of the Entitlement Generation: You're not helping the law-abiding, courteous, and Spandex-free road sharers. Just stay home if you can't behave.


Pretty much this.
2013-01-14 06:46:52 PM  
1 votes:

Quantum Apostrophe: If a bike weighs 3000 pounds and has 300 horsepower at its disposal, they might have a point. I have this thing called a brain. It allows me to understand my surroundings and plan my movements. I can stop on a dime. My bike weighs 13 pounds. At worst, someone will have a contusion.
/Proud red light runner since like forever
//Cyclists who smoke and wear headphones and text while cycling are the problem. (I've seen that)
///And don't get me started on Rascals and scooters on the bike path


In case someone else hasn't already linked these:

Here are two stories about people dying as a result of being hit by cyclists. A red light runner and a case where The pedestrian was confused by "on your left."

I doubt it will change your mind in any way, but there they are. I also hope you consider the fact that someday, you may run through a red and be creamed by a car, forcing the driver to live with the fact that they either severely injured or killed you. And yup, I'm a cyclist, and yup, I stop at red lights, even though it sucks having to re-gain that ,momentum.
2013-01-14 02:42:26 PM  
1 votes:

bim1154: TV's Vinnie: [msnbcmedia.msn.com image 850x527]
Stare at it and enjoy, Farkers. Stare at it and enjoy.

Thanks, I was just about to post this one as well. One of my favorite cyclists vs cars images.


Be glad you didn't. Even though the photo had no blood or gore in it, it apparently offended some oversensitive cyclist who's a Fark Mod, and he pulled the dildo out of his ass long enough to put a suspension on me.
2013-01-14 12:24:16 PM  
1 votes:

Hughlander: I just love when I heard from the cyclist in question who was followed by a cop for a bit in a downtown environment. When he was finally pulled over he was given three tickets for running three red lights. $124 per light.


Well, I agree asshole cyclists should be given tickets for deciding they are exempt from traffic laws, I don't think cops should follow you to see how many charges they can rack up. If you commit a traffic infraction, they should pull you over and cite you for it. If they are allowed to keep running up infractions for as long as they like, what's to stop them from following you when you speed for 2 miles and issue you 120 tickets for every second you were speeding?
2013-01-14 10:26:44 AM  
1 votes:
New scourge of the earth: People who walk in the street when nice sidewalks have been provided to separate and keep them safe from bicyclists and motorists.

/seriously, this seems to be the latest thing in my neighborhood
//if you are walking at an average pace while wearing spandex and swinging your arms, you may be exercising, but there's no good reason for you to be in the road
///especially when it's dark
////what is the matter with you people!?
2013-01-14 01:38:08 AM  
1 votes:

Mitrovarr: al's hat: If you trust bicyclists to do that you haven't worked in a city with bike messengers.

You know, I suspect we're comparing apples and oranges. I am talking mostly about quiet residential neighborhoods where there is very little traffic, the cars are going 20-ish mph, and the pedestrian density is low. I think you may be thinking more about dense urban environments where it may well not be safe for bicycles to treat stop signs as yields, because the next car is never far off, so the intersection isn't ever really empty. That might be the reason it doesn't sound safe to you.


I second this. In a city where it is NEVER safe to do that, I see them constantly blow through side street stop signs into freely running traffic (not four way stop intersections), then hopping the dividing medians. There is seldom if ever actual clearance for them to do this, this behavior works only through their dependence on vehicles slamming on brakes and/or swerving to avoid them.

Avoidance is something they know drivers will do, as up until recently if a driver hit a bicyclist in this jurisdiction they would face long and expensive punitive felony prosecutions regardless of actual fault.
This high profile prosecution of drivers was started to try to reduce fatal bike accidents by making drivers more cautious and aware of bicyclists, but the problem was that it only served to embolden bike riders to be even more irresponsible and ignore both common sense and the law. This actually made the safety problem much, much worse, so the last couple years the cops go out in force and do sweeps to ticket bike riders. This is starting to work for traffic safety somewhat, but the 'persecution complex' these people always seem to have was also fueled mightily. As such, it has also served to further alienate the bike riders who now have an even more hardened and adversarial attitude about everything and everyone else. I dare say they almost constitute a gang at this point.
2013-01-14 12:50:23 AM  
1 votes:

brantgoose: Americans stand out in terms of consumption--even compared to Luxembourgeois, who are much richer per capita, being an industrious enclave of highly specialized, educated, multilingual and semi-socialist, ultra-capitalist go-getters with no natural resources to speak of in their tiny country, which is a sort of Super-Turbo-Charged Switzerland.


A good friend of mine is from Luxembourg. The way he describes it their higher quality of life is largely due to massive NATO investment/military-indo complex in the area.

We give them lots of money to use their roads if war in Europe breaks out.
2013-01-13 11:30:32 PM  
1 votes:
A couple years ago, a moron on a bicycle decided to make a left hand turn directly in front of my car. No hand signal, no warning, nothing. Just a sudden sharp left turn from the bike lane on the right side of the road. I had to slam on my breaks to avoid hitting her.
2013-01-13 11:10:50 PM  
1 votes:

theorellior: doyner: I'm looking forward to rinsing you out of my grill one day.

If a cyclist runs a red light and no motorist's right-of-way is infringed, does a driver still get butthurt?


Doesn`t really matter, It's still against the law.
2013-01-13 11:10:16 PM  
1 votes:
There is a paved trail around a lake near my house, and sometimes a pair of idiot bikers ride around it as fast as they can. Unfortunately, it is a hilly area with hairpin turns around blind corners. They nearly ran over me, luckily my 10 year old was several feet behind me. Pricks.

Eventually they will hit a person or leash, or dog. Hopefully a big, vindictive dog.
2013-01-13 11:07:54 PM  
1 votes:

Mitrovarr: People like Jef do not exist. This is wank material for cyclist haters.

Some cyclists do think it's ok to blow through stop signs and lights occasionally. Hell, in my state, it's explicitly legal in some situations. However, it's not out of a feeling of superiority. It's based on four other things:

1. Bikes are harder to stop and start than cars, so avoiding pointless stops is more important.
2. Bikes are generally much slower than cars, so cyclists have more time to react and can stop more quickly.
3. Cyclists have unobstructed vision and hearing and therefore have much greater awareness of their surroundings than the drivers of cars. In particular, it's a lot easier to see if an intersection you are approaching is empty.
4. Bikes have a lot less mass than cars and therefore pose much less threat to others.

So, it's not because bikes are better than cars, it's because bikes are different than cars, and something that is dangerous for them is much safer for cyclists. If cars routinely drove around at 15 mph they wouldn't need stop signs either, and indeed in residential grids where speeds are always low they are sometimes absent.


I doubt it's explicitly legal for a bicyclist to "blow through" a stop sign or traffic signal in your state in any situation.

1. Define pointless stop in relation to legally required stops.
2. At some point (think doing 50 mph downhill) bicycles may not be able to stop quickly and easily.
3. Nonsense. As a motorist, cyclist, and motorcycle rider I'll grant you that sense of smell on a bike or motorcycle is much better.
4. As a pedestrian I don't want to get hit by 200 pounds of bike and rider or a couple of tons of vehicle and drive. People die from getting hit by bicyclists so saying that one case of irresponsibility is less harmful than another doesn't sit well with me.

I don't think I want to share the road with you whether I'm walking, riding a bike, driving a car, or riding my motorcycle. Your attitude sucks and could end up being a fatal shortcoming.
2013-01-13 10:47:10 PM  
1 votes:

Uchiha_Cycliste: But 99% of cyclists don't, we have bike lanes and stuff. And even when a cyclist is (briefly) in the way, you pass after a minute and go upon your way. It's still a lot better than if I was on the freeway, for you.
It's the same BS as people who accuse all cyclists of playing fast and loose with the traffic laws. The vast, vast majority of cyclists (who aren't college students =/) obey the laws, you just never see them because they are obeying the laws.


I'm for sharing the road.  All I ask is that people obey the rules the same.  One reason you don't ride the highways I use is because doing so (for a cyclist) is illegal, so...

My issue is with the assholes who get all self-righteous about disobeying traffic laws (e.g. this thread).  You are quite unlikely to be an annoyance to me on the road.
2013-01-13 10:03:50 PM  
1 votes:
Quantum Apo is alway threadshiatting in Space related threads that all space exploration is a waste and that those resources are better spent on "Life Extension", he says. Then he comes in here and tells us he is one of those bike douches that ignores traffic laws and regularly runs red lights. So, QA, you want more life... just so you can squander it as a pulpy red stain on some intersection? That's seriously farked up.

He also threadshiats in threads about 3-d printing, even though it's growing to become one of the key technologies in modern bike production, especially custom bike production.
2013-01-13 09:20:59 PM  
1 votes:
On the way to the gym today at a four way stop a cyclist did not stop. I had the right of way. He was not going too fast but had he and not stopped, he wouldn't have been too hurt due to the stop to acceleration to slow speed limit. He was wearing spandex. All I could think of was: "Huh, you're one of those dicks."
2013-01-13 08:21:10 PM  
1 votes:

Uchiha_Cycliste: doyner: Uchiha_Cycliste: doyner: Uchiha_Cycliste: doyner: Uchiha_Cycliste: doyner: Uchiha_Cycliste: Nope... not reading this thread.

/last post

oh FFS,

\feels like a trap.

It is.  It sucks you in.

Does not!

Let's
Agree
That
Sometimes

People
Overlook
Simple
Truths

[assets.shiatbrix.com image 674x535]

\Does not

John used to run stoplights in his 4lb carbon-fiber special edition Lance Armstrong Tour de France GraphitechTM racer.

John must have been enormous! A 4 lb carbon frame is ridiculously heavy.
Besides, IFF there are no cars, what is wrong with running lights?

\you know what IFF means, right?


Identify Friend or Foe.

//iff, however, means "if and only if".
2013-01-13 07:25:07 PM  
1 votes:

kendelrio: SN1987a goes boom: JasonOfOrillia: The My Little Pony Killer: Hey fark you too buddy.

/pedestrian
//doesn't jaywalk

///seriously, equating people who jaywalk with people who are sexual predators of children? I'd invite you to stay classy but I'd have to believe you had any in the first place

The fact that you don't jaywalk is cool. That is the responsible thing to do. And "Pedo" is merely short for pedestrian. As for those sexual predators of children, I'm not sure someone who seems to advertise themselves and a fan of a children's show should be raising that issue at all.

Not sure what planet you live on, but on Earth the term "pedo" has only ever meant one thing.

So what would a "pedometer" be used for? Measuring someone's tendency toward child molestation?


From Meriam Webster:

pedo-
1
a combining form meaning "child," used in the formation of compound words: pedophilia

But go ahead, act like "pedo" and "pedometer" are the same word or share similar meanings. I'm betting someone won't think you are a complete moron.
2013-01-13 07:24:44 PM  
1 votes:

theorellior: Dr Jack Badofsky: Okay, if you hit me while I'm driving and you kill me with your bike and I so happen to be breaking the law, no hard feelings.

Remember my comment about 2000 lbs versus 20 lbs? I'm gonna go back to that.

Dr Jack Badofsky: If, for some reason, I hit you and kill you while you're breaking the law, oh well. I'm pretty sure law enforcement will see it that way too.

Motorists can kill cyclists any day of the week, up down and sideways, regardless of whether the cyclist is playing by the rules, so I don't give a rat's ass about laws. I care about riding like I have a target painted on my ass.


Well now, now that that has finally absorbed into your brain, keep it in mind next time you run the light and a quiet hybrid stealthily sneaks up and wipes its ass with you, much less an F-250 or a Peterbuilt.
2013-01-13 07:20:20 PM  
1 votes:
So, our local light rail system had a train do a panic stop recently due to a cyclist blowing thru a red light IN FRONT OF A FREAKING TRAIN, and a passenger on board got a broken arm from getting tossed forward, so someone's really getting a kick ...

Trains don't stop fast, but they stop a helluva lot faster than the unrestrained meatsacks on board.

But if cyclists are unconcerned about 150,000 pound vehicles with dime-sized metal-on-metal friction surfaces for stopping, yeah, I don't see them worrying about the occasional Hummer.
2013-01-13 07:17:48 PM  
1 votes:

JohnAnnArbor: Quantum Apostrophe: If a bike weighs 3000 pounds and has 300 horsepower at its disposal, they might have a point. I have this thing called a brain. It allows me to understand my surroundings and plan my movements. I can stop on a dime. My bike weighs 13 pounds. At worst, someone will have a contusion.
/Proud red light runner since like forever
//Cyclists who smoke and wear headphones and text while cycling are the problem. (I've seen that)
///And don't get me started on Rascals and scooters on the bike path

So a driver has no right to expect you to behave as a vehicle? So they stop at the 4-way stop, expecting you to stop next. They go (all legal), you blow in front of them, they have to jam on the brakes. You think that's fine?

Traffic rules are there so that people know what to expect on the road. Random violations are so common by bikes that I assume they'll do the dumbest possible thing at any given moment, with no regard for their own safety. I don't care if the cyclist is 100% at fault and there's video evidence of it: I don't want to kill one. So stop being douchebags and follow the damned rules.


Another A2er abused by the cyclists and pedestrian students as well I see.
2013-01-13 07:13:22 PM  
1 votes:

theorellior: I don't ride like a dick. I ride defensively. Cars can kill me just as look at me sideways. But just as drivers break laws for their own convenience every damn day without any repercussions, I'm gonna do the same on my bike.


Kind of contradicting yourself there, aren't you sparky?
2013-01-13 07:08:58 PM  
1 votes:
All any reasonable person is expecting from cyclist is to OBEY THE LAWS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. If you want drivers of vehicles to respect you, you must respect them.

If you want to ride your bike on the road with vehicles, you have to act as a vehicle and obey the rules of the road. It absolutely infuriates me to see a cyclist instantly morph from a vehicle to a pedestrian and hit the crosswalk when the light turns red.

What if drivers of motor vehicles acted the way some cyclists do? Running red lights and stop signs just because "no one else is there"? What if cars just skipped over to the crosswalk or sidewalk to "disguise" themselves as a pedestrian to skirt stop lights?

Why are bikes any different? The answer is they aren't.

My favorite douche cyclist is this guy that switches back and forth between lanes constantly just to get in front of drivers to slow them down. He never signals. He very abruptly changes lanes. I mean he is just ASKING to get hit.
2013-01-13 06:48:46 PM  
1 votes:

Kit Fister: Well as an ardent pagan, I respect his teachings, but did he not also teach that one should defend one's self? I do recall that his philosophy did not suggest simply laying down before one who would kill you. His teachings do stress respect for life, but do not go so far as to deny the right to defend one's self, or to kill in self defense. No, I have no citations other than the off quoted bit about selling one's cloak to buy a sword, etc.


/eyeroll
2013-01-13 06:45:30 PM  
1 votes:

radarlove: Kit Fister: Thus, by extension, the bravest thing you can do is to suffer the attack, the most brave thing being to die at the hands of a criminal/bigot/rapist?

While it would be a stretch to call myself a modern Christian, I follow the teachings of Yeshua and this was one of His most crucial lessons. So yes, that is exactly what I believe and adhere to. I won't pretend that it is easy.

Kit Fister: I simply acknowledge my life is infinitely more valuable than someone who would threaten my life or that of my loved ones

Aha- THIS is the core of where our beliefs truly begin to deviate from one another. I humbly accept that my life is no more or less valuable or precious or important than that of even the "worst" people out there. I respect all human life equally, regardless or any personal slight I feel I may have received from someone.


Well as an ardent pagan, I respect his teachings, but did he not also teach that one should defend one's self? I do recall that his philosophy did not suggest simply laying down before one who would kill you. His teachings do stress respect for life, but do not go so far as to deny the right to defend one's self, or to kill in self defense. No, I have no citations other than the off quoted bit about selling one's cloak to buy a sword, etc.

I live by a different ethic. I respect life, and others, but I also understand and believe that the lives of myself and those I love are paramount over anyone else. I will go to great lengths to aid someone in trouble, but if my choices are to protect and preserve my family or to allow them to be harmed to protect the life of someone who would attack me, ultimately there is no choice there.

Example: if I were involved in a mall shooting, and I were there with family/loved ones, my job, though armed, is to see them safe and protected first. If that coincided with facing the gunman, sure, but I'm not leaving them to go hunt the guy down. Not my job. Get safe, call cops, protect them.

If I were alone, I might risk it if I thought I could reasonably do something.

As the Havamal says: "never go out your door before your axe and your sword for you never know where trouble may find you."
2013-01-13 06:38:22 PM  
1 votes:
Just had some cyclist prick blast by me on a sidewalk, missing me by inches. Hey pal, you've got a bell, please use it! I could have changed direction and got your front wheel lodged in my ass.
Said cyclist then did a couple of deliberate skids when rounding a corner, alarming a motorist who thought he was about to skid out into traffic, then blasted through a red light on one of the busiest streets in Brisbane.

Just one cyclist can fark up the public perception of cyclists everywhere. Stop being a dick.
2013-01-13 06:20:27 PM  
1 votes:

radarlove: Correct. And truck nuts/confederate flags/Dale Earnheart stickers. Anyone who owns these things is, in all likelihood, a gun-toting homophobe with a tiny cock.


no truck nuts, confederate flags (only an American flag sticker), or NASCAR stickers -- I hate NASCAR. Boring, retarded sport. Off-road rally racing is more my thing.

I'm also more likely to go to the Symphony than a Toby Keith concert, enjoy broadway musicals and theater over monster truck rallies, and play in the symphony.

I just happen to carry a gun as well.
2013-01-13 06:10:30 PM  
1 votes:

mizdrea: Fuggin Bizzy: I always pack heat when I cycle, so that if a driver swerves and crushes my legs, I can shoot him in the dick afterwards.

This.


You two are exactly the reason there is such hostility toward bikes. I have seen several physical attacks on drivers who were doing nothing but being in the wrong place when a bike decided to run red lights, and seen the damage and mindless vandalism massholes inflict on vehicles for no reason at all.

Bicyclists have quite rightly earned the reputation of being violent (and as you evidence, often armed) thugs, hence why I now carry a weapon in my vehicle.

/If you wonder why drivers treat you with hostility, congratulations, you have worked hard to earn it.
2013-01-13 05:52:23 PM  
1 votes:

radarlove: Kit Fister: Yes, because a firearm kept as a tool for self defense equates one to being homosexual. Got it.

No, not homosexual. Most homosexuals, myself included, have huge cocks and thus no need to carry a weapon to compensate.

But being a lilting, cowering, sniveling gun owner who is so afraid of death and his fellow man that he feels the need to carry around a gun? That makes you GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.

And their weakness makes my penis hard and shiny.


I believe that you have confused your own entirely irrational and baseless misconceptions regarding civilians who legally carry firearms with actual reality. While you may derive perverse sexual arousal from your inaccurate beliefs, the two concepts are not actually the same.
2013-01-13 05:42:52 PM  
1 votes:

doyner: Nothing To See Here: I bet there are those here in this thread that would even heckle people in Spin Classes.

If they're not blowing through red lights in front of me I'll never see them.


Exactly. Cyclists that don't obstruct traffic are fine. They're in the barely-noticeable category. Blow red lights and ride in such a manner as you obstruct or endanger yourself or others in traffic? You're on my radar and are liable to get something thrown at you, a horn blasted at you, or hit because a 6,000 pound pickup is a lot harder to stop than a 13-pound bicycle.
2013-01-13 05:41:08 PM  
1 votes:

radarlove: Dimensio: radarlove: Dimensio: doyner: Dimensio: megarian: I just want someone to explain the outfits to me.

Do you wish an explanation for my jeans, for my T-shirt, for my windbreaker or for my fanny pack?

Yes.  Explain yourself.

It serves as a comfortable gun holster and, unlike with other holsters, using it does not result in the slide of my sidearm wearing holes into my shirts.

Holy shiat, you just managed to make fanny packs even more gay.

Nice one, sailor.

Strange. My previous boyfriend is arguably more "gay" than I am, and he does not wear a fanny pack.

It's the gun that really pushes it over the top to all-out Liberace-ville. You should make your new boyfriend wear a fanny pack while farking. It'll change your life.


Yes, because a firearm kept as a tool for self defense equates one to being homosexual. Got it.
2013-01-13 05:41:07 PM  
1 votes:

Nothing To See Here: I bet there are those here in this thread that would even heckle people in Spin Classes.


If they're not blowing through red lights in front of me I'll never see them.
2013-01-13 05:27:22 PM  
1 votes:

theorellior: I know it's terribly difficult to accelerate an automobile, you have to depress your right foot by about a centimeter, you might get a blister or something.


And you have to peddle hard for a couple of feet. THE HORROR!!! That totally makes it ok to ignore laws.

I feel your pain though. I have a manual transmission, so I would have to downshift and then shift back into my current gear as well as stopping. I just blow through the light since it is such an inconvenience. If you don't want to get hit then you will stay the fark out of my way.
2013-01-13 05:24:16 PM  
1 votes:

Dimensio: doyner: Dimensio: megarian: I just want someone to explain the outfits to me.

Do you wish an explanation for my jeans, for my T-shirt, for my windbreaker or for my fanny pack?

Yes.  Explain yourself.

It serves as a comfortable gun holster and, unlike with other holsters, using it does not result in the slide of my sidearm wearing holes into my shirts.


That...that's actually a pretty great reason.
2013-01-13 05:24:04 PM  
1 votes:

JasonOfOrillia: The My Little Pony Killer: Hey fark you too buddy.

/pedestrian
//doesn't jaywalk

///seriously, equating people who jaywalk with people who are sexual predators of children? I'd invite you to stay classy but I'd have to believe you had any in the first place

The fact that you don't jaywalk is cool. That is the responsible thing to do. And "Pedo" is merely short for pedestrian. As for those sexual predators of children, I'm not sure someone who seems to advertise themselves and a fan of a children's show should be raising that issue at all.


Not sure what planet you live on, but on Earth the term "pedo" has only ever meant one thing.
2013-01-13 05:23:35 PM  
1 votes:
I had a cyclist bang on my car and yell at me for almost killing him. I didn't almost kill him but I did begin to enter an intersection and stop 6 feet later when he suddenly turned without signalling. I guess it was my fault for not reading his mind. I have a couple of other memorable run-ins with douchebags on bikes. I have no stories about the vast majority of cyclists that I've shared the road with.

Similarly, I have stories about drivers who came close to killing me while I was driving or walking, but most of them have never remained on my mind after leaving my vision or immediate area. I think we, as a people, have a douchebag problem, not a cyclist problem. When someone is a total dick behind the wheel it's harder to hear them yelling and it's more difficult for them to maneuver their vehicle in a way to berate you like an idiot on a bike can. I bet it also doesn't hurt that their mantra is "drivers want to kill you" and they repeat it to themselves over and over. That probably shortens the fuse a bit.
2013-01-13 05:14:32 PM  
1 votes:

Quantum Apostrophe: I have this thing called a brain. It allows me to understand my surroundings and plan my movements. At worst, someone will have a contusion.
/Proud red light runner since like forever


The handful people I know of that were killed by bicyclists running red lights just in downtown San Francisco in the last year or so would probably like to be able to disagree.

/no great loss though, they were only pedestrians, not real bicycle riding humans or anything.
2013-01-13 05:10:36 PM  
1 votes:

mark12A: Wow. I saw the PBS strip yesterday and thought, "This is to Fark as live chickens is to a pen full of Jack Russell terriers on crack"

Viola! Today's Bike Hate Thread (BHT)!

Having survived 18,000 miles of Philly bike commuting over the years, riding on the sidewalk, riding against traffic, running lights, stopsigns, getting shot with paintballs, having bottles thrown at me, etc., I have but one PRIMARY piece of advice for you:

ASSUME CARS WANT TO KILL YOU AND RIDE ACCORDINGLY

Ride against traffic so you can see and avoid them. Ride on the sidewalk to minimize your exposure to them. DON'T blindly blow through lights and stopsigns, for they may be lying in wait to get you. Scan completely before going through.

Don't ride like a dick on the sidewalk. Dive into the street when a group of people come down the sidewalk. Dive into the sidewalk when another biker comes down the bikelane going the "right" way. If they like getting it in the ass, they eventually will get their wish while riding with the traffic. Knew people killed like that.

I'm done with Philly bike commuting, since I'm retiring in the spring. In retirement, I will enjoy my new Cannondale Jekyll 4, given to me free by Cannondale (retails $3200) since I basically fatigued out my Cannondale Police Cruiser after 13,000 miles and the frame snapped. Gotta luv them lifetime warranties!

Don't wear goofy biker outfits. It attracts abuse. Dress like a south Philly dude who dun lost his license after a few too many DUI's. Someone you don't want to mess with.

Light up your bike. Front flashing light, back flashing light, even side flashing lights that plug into the ends of the handlebars. Plus reflectors, lots and lots of reflectors.....

Cute little bing-bing bell for gently warning peds you're behind them, plus frickin' LOUD airhorn for scaring cars...

You have no rights, no power, no influence. You are an opportunistic parasite in a high speed, high powered rush-rush society. You exploit the niches, the cr ...


Nothing so self-affirming as a siege mentality.
2013-01-13 05:09:00 PM  
1 votes:
Another Fark cycling thread.

let me sum up the whole thread-

cyclists- you can't be delayed 5 seconds?
Drivers- obey the laws of the road.
cyclists- Get over yourself drivers
Drivers- Spandex

How to solve every problem--
Don't be a d-bag in a car or on a bike.
2013-01-13 05:08:06 PM  
1 votes:
Wow. I saw the PBS strip yesterday and thought, "This is to Fark as live chickens is to a pen full of Jack Russell terriers on crack"

Viola! Today's Bike Hate Thread (BHT)!

Having survived 18,000 miles of Philly bike commuting over the years, riding on the sidewalk, riding against traffic, running lights, stopsigns, getting shot with paintballs, having bottles thrown at me, etc., I have but one PRIMARY piece of advice for you:

ASSUME CARS WANT TO KILL YOU AND RIDE ACCORDINGLY

Ride against traffic so you can see and avoid them. Ride on the sidewalk to minimize your exposure to them. DON'T blindly blow through lights and stopsigns, for they may be lying in wait to get you. Scan completely before going through.

Don't ride like a dick on the sidewalk. Dive into the street when a group of people come down the sidewalk. Dive into the sidewalk when another biker comes down the bikelane going the "right" way. If they like getting it in the ass, they eventually will get their wish while riding with the traffic. Knew people killed like that.

I'm done with Philly bike commuting, since I'm retiring in the spring. In retirement, I will enjoy my new Cannondale Jekyll 4, given to me free by Cannondale (retails $3200) since I basically fatigued out my Cannondale Police Cruiser after 13,000 miles and the frame snapped. Gotta luv them lifetime warranties!

Don't wear goofy biker outfits. It attracts abuse. Dress like a south Philly dude who dun lost his license after a few too many DUI's. Someone you don't want to mess with.

Light up your bike. Front flashing light, back flashing light, even side flashing lights that plug into the ends of the handlebars. Plus reflectors, lots and lots of reflectors.....

Cute little bing-bing bell for gently warning peds you're behind them, plus frickin' LOUD airhorn for scaring cars...

You have no rights, no power, no influence. You are an opportunistic parasite in a high speed, high powered rush-rush society. You exploit the niches, the cracks, the little openings in the maelstrom. You bob and weave, shuckin' and jiving, almost cat like, as you thread your way through the mayhem.Never confront. Go around, flee, use the terrain and the parked cars, and poles, and curbs as your shields, your refuge.

It will make you stronger and more independent than the rage cagers can possibly imagine...
2013-01-13 04:55:45 PM  
1 votes:

Smarshmallow: TV's Vinnie: D-Bag cyclist about to zip past my car.

Open car door innocently.

*P-THUMP!*

Bask in the glory.

Then, get cyclist's name in order to have car door repaired by his insurance. Sue him if he doesn't have one. Further bask in greater glory.

In my state (and in all others that I'm aware of), the car drivers are at fault in these situations, so this tactic of yours will fail.


Yeah.  You don't open your door when a car is coming, so why be a dick when a bike is hugging the right side of the outer lane?

Don't be a dick...whether in a car or on 2 wheels.  Why is this so hard?
2013-01-13 04:43:54 PM  
1 votes:

theorellior: doyner: stirfrybry: theorellior: doyner: I'm looking forward to rinsing you out of my grill one day.

If a cyclist runs a red light and no motorist's right-of-way is infringed, does a driver still get butthurt?

It seems it is so.

If he's in my grill it's because right-of-way was infringed.

So be it.


We've agreed to disagree.  If I'm not on the road, I don't have a stake in what happens.  If I'm driving through a green light, I don't appreciate having my day/life disrupted because cyclists feel as though red lights don't apply to them.
2013-01-13 04:42:07 PM  
1 votes:

Endive Wombat: Friend of mine, and cross country teammate in high school ran over and killed a cyclist like 2 weeks after getting his drivers license.  That really farked him up for a couple of years.  He refused to drive.

/spandexed out, power bar eatin', 9lb bike riding bro/douche had run a VERY red light and my buddies F-150 obliterated his ass - like he was spread out over the course of like 200'.  It was gruesome - he was dismembered as he was dragged under the truck.  I saw the aftermath.  Easily one of the most horrifying things I have ever seen.
//douchebag bike rider had been ticketed 4 times for running a red light in the previous year
///his family had the audacity to sue said 16 year old driver and had their asses handed to them by the judge, especially when the defense presented previous tickets for running a red light 4 times previously


At least he died doing what he loved...being a self-righteous, entitled douchebag.

I feel bad for your friend though.  Shiatty way to start your life as a motorist.
2013-01-13 04:41:45 PM  
1 votes:

Quantum Apostrophe: MrHelpful: That wasn't very helpful. People who obey the law can get killed as easily. I look where the hell I am going. Red wavelength photons emanating from a municipal structure are just a guideline for me. Far worse are the cyclists with headphones on, they are ignoring audio cues the entire time they are riding, I'm just running red lights once or twice.

That being said, I am in fairly good shape and have a decent bike. I also shift down when I brake so I can get back to speed easily. So I'm quite agile. When I go camping on my bike and have extra weight on my backpack and can't see as well, I slow down and obey traffic lights more, especially when I'm out of town.

Running red lights is a culture thing here in Montreal. Our drivers can barely master "right on green" so if I stopped at a red light that would be MORE dangerous as no one would expect it!


Best bike crash I ever saw was in Montreal, down by the Bell Center. We were walking around waiting for the Rush concert that evening. My kids were 9 and 13 at the time. The light at the end of the very steep street changed to red.
One of those ultralight bikes with the tires as thick as a pencil decided he was going to go through the red- as evidenced by his speed- and crossed from the leftmost portion of the lane to the right(so he could squeak by.)

The road was wet, his bike started to slip, he applied the brakes and lost control, nailing the small sedan that was at stopped at the light, and involuntarily somersaulted forward; leaving a dent in the trunk, a broken back windshield, and a very confused old guy staring at him when he landed on the hood. He'd vaulted over the roof, his front tire rim looked like pac-man, and the old man exited his car and began to quietly scold him.


The four of us looked at each other in wonder. Did that just happen twenty feet in front of us?
So hard not to laugh until we turned the corner.
2013-01-13 04:40:04 PM  
1 votes:
Last week a cyclist, travelling at night with no lights and wearing dark clothing, blew off a red light and ran into my cousin's atation wagon. He walked away uninjured, acted like a douche and the cop  gave him several tickets. He keeps calling my cousin demanding she replace his bike.

/WTF?
2013-01-13 04:31:00 PM  
1 votes:
*scans thread, notes some names*

I love this...expects tighter gun laws to save people's lives as people will obey those laws, brags about breaking laws that they don't feel are important.

/shakes head and makes a note to hit Quantum APostrophe if he ever has the chance.
2013-01-13 04:24:52 PM  
1 votes:
206 comments and not one about lane filtering or lane splitting?

The most hated thing about cyclists is the following: Cyclists lane filtering and causing backups. A cyclist backing up traffic in a one-lane because the same-direction-traffic can't pass at speed and must slow and wait for a passing opportunity. And then everyone gets to a light, and the cyclist lane filters to the front. So the same 20 cars have to slowly pass the cyclist again. Then 2 miles down the road, another light. Repeat.
2013-01-13 04:23:52 PM  
1 votes:
I love to drive my car, and I love to ride my bike.

If you trick yourself into thinking that YOU are the most important thing on the road, it doesn't matter whether you're biking or driving. You're an asshole, and you'll have to live with people treating you like one.

On the other hand, you could think of other people and watch out for them, no matter what you're doing on the road, and people will respect that.

CSB Time:

Yesterday I was at Disney, which is like, a Mecca for rude people or something. Try walking there for more than 5 minutes, you'll be bumped, rammed, or (in my wife's case) pinched.

Anyway, we're getting off this ride, there's a good few people around us, and this kid, about 10 years old, comes running down the walkway behind us, just about bangs into my wife, shoves his way past her, and then proceeds to shove his way between three little girls farther down. No "Scuse me," no "pardon me."

He was too important in his own mind to worry about anybody else. I didn't mind it too much when he shoved past us, but I wanted to just grab his T-shirt and yank him back when I saw him push past someone smaller than him. "Clumsy AND rude is no way to go through life, son!" I yelled after him.

Moral of the story: just treat people decent no matter where you go, and maybe people won't think you're a dick.
2013-01-13 04:18:53 PM  
1 votes:

doyner: Ask the cartoonist in TFA.  You're fine in my book.


The lycra brigades like to distinguish between "cyclists" (people like me) and "people on bikes" (people like them, and possibly like you), just as they like to distinguish between "bicycles" (what I ride) and "bicycle shaped objects" (what they ride, and possibly what you ride.

I used to live next to a bike shop which sold £6,000 (that's $10,000) bicycles. I suspect that the people buying them are the same sort of people who buy $10,000 stereo interconnects. Every hobby has its hierarchy.
2013-01-13 04:15:08 PM  
1 votes:

Dimensio: I am a cyclist.

I stop at all stop signs.

I stop at all red lights. Under normal circumstances, I cross only when the signal is green. If I am unable to trigger a light change due to the absence of a crosswalk signal and an inability to trigger the pressure sensor, I will -- after verifying an absence of traffic in any direction -- dismount and walk across the intersection as a pedestrian.

I cycle only on roads, avoiding sidewalks. I yield to crossing pedestrians. I keep to the right side of the road and allow ample passing space, unless I am making an imminent left turn.

I use a front-mounted light, a rear light and a helmet light to maintain illumination at night. I also wear reflecting equipment on my legs and on my arms.

I have recently attached an air horn; its purpose is only to use as an audio signal to drivers who endanger my safety through their own violation of traffic laws such as a failure to yield appropriate right of way at a stop sign.

Is anyone able to explain how, exactly, I believe non-cyclists to be "scum" or how I am a "douche"?


If all cyclists acted as you do (and as I did when I rode) then no cyclists would be douches. Of course, we do then still have the issue of motorists who can't be as considerate or responsible.
2013-01-13 04:10:11 PM  
1 votes:

theorellior: Dr Jack Badofsky: So. Cars should wait at that same intersection, but cyclists don't have to because they don't feel like it?

Okay, boys and girls, for all you pious drivers out there who sanctimoniously follow every gorram traffic law out there, I'm gonna laugh the next time there's a red light camera thread or a speeding thread and some of your are all puffing your chests out about how you ride the ass of every milquetoast driver who doesn't know the left lane is for Manly Drivers going 90.


You obviously aren't paying attention to the red-light camera threads.  The complaint is they shorten the yellow to a dangerous level all too often when they install the cameras.  If the yellow was a reasonable length, people wouldn't be complaining about the cameras.
2013-01-13 04:03:57 PM  
1 votes:

serial_crusher: Chilimac: Mercutio74: I only have one problem with cyclists... not all of them are offenders but the ones that do this are pure evil.

DO NOT try to pass a car in the right lane on the right while that car is making a legal right hand turn. Drivers expect vehicles to follow the rules of the road, when you deviate from one of the most basic (don't pass a car during a turn on the side it's turning to) you will get clocked and you will have deserved it.

Matter of perception. I am riding my bike in the bike lane, which in on the right. A car comes up behind me in their right lane, which is to my left, and overtakes me in order to make a right turn. I smack into the car which has just cut me off.

You would not do this to a car. It would be insane.

Yeah, I would like clarification from Mercutio74 on whether there was a bike lane there or not.  The right hook is one of the most frequent things motorists get wrong.
The proper thing to do is to <b>merge into the bike lane</b> before turning.  <b>Do not turn across the bike lane</b> , especially when it is occupied.
Also, get to be a better judge of other vehicles' speeds.  People usually think they have enough room to pass you, then all of a sudden turn right.  Keep in mind that when your car makes a 90 degree turn, it is effectively stopped, and now I'm heading towards it at 25-30mph.  There needs to be a lot of space for that to work out safely.  Merge behind me and sow down until I clear the intersection.  It will only take you 5 or 10 seconds longer than your life threatening alternative.


I always yield when there is an occupied bike lane.

People try to ride right through me when there isn't a bike lane, I'm in mid-turn, and my turn signal has been on for over 30 seconds. What the fark are they thinking?
2013-01-13 03:55:43 PM  
1 votes:

Dimensio: I am a cyclist.

I stop at all stop signs.

I stop at all red lights. Under normal circumstances, I cross only when the signal is green. If I am unable to trigger a light change due to the absence of a crosswalk signal and an inability to trigger the pressure sensor, I will -- after verifying an absence of traffic in any direction -- dismount and walk across the intersection as a pedestrian.

I cycle only on roads, avoiding sidewalks. I yield to crossing pedestrians. I keep to the right side of the road and allow ample passing space, unless I am making an imminent left turn.

I use a front-mounted light, a rear light and a helmet light to maintain illumination at night. I also wear reflecting equipment on my legs and on my arms.

I have recently attached an air horn; its purpose is only to use as an audio signal to drivers who endanger my safety through their own violation of traffic laws such as a failure to yield appropriate right of way at a stop sign.

Is anyone able to explain how, exactly, I believe non-cyclists to be "scum" or how I am a "douche"?


Ask the cartoonist in TFA.  You're fine in my book.
2013-01-13 03:53:43 PM  
1 votes:
I am a cyclist.

I stop at all stop signs.

I stop at all red lights. Under normal circumstances, I cross only when the signal is green. If I am unable to trigger a light change due to the absence of a crosswalk signal and an inability to trigger the pressure sensor, I will -- after verifying an absence of traffic in any direction -- dismount and walk across the intersection as a pedestrian.

I cycle only on roads, avoiding sidewalks. I yield to crossing pedestrians. I keep to the right side of the road and allow ample passing space, unless I am making an imminent left turn.

I use a front-mounted light, a rear light and a helmet light to maintain illumination at night. I also wear reflecting equipment on my legs and on my arms.

I have recently attached an air horn; its purpose is only to use as an audio signal to drivers who endanger my safety through their own violation of traffic laws such as a failure to yield appropriate right of way at a stop sign.

Is anyone able to explain how, exactly, I believe non-cyclists to be "scum" or how I am a "douche"?
2013-01-13 03:43:39 PM  
1 votes:

doyner: orbister: doyner: Very much so.  Time-out material.

Why? Was it a fatal accident?

Very.  Several killed.]


Thanks. I've never been able to work out precisely what the rules are, and the FAQ isn't much help. "Nobody actually dying" they say, but that picture of a Viet Cong chap shooting someone in the head seems fine.
2013-01-13 03:41:35 PM  
1 votes:

letrole: before the internet, cartoons had to be funny or else they didn't get published


Not so. A lot of the older comics in the 30s, 40s, and 50s, and probably earlier weren't so much humor as serial stories. Things like The Phantom, soap opera comics, crime detective, and so on. Humor is more common now. Or at least the attempt.
2013-01-13 03:38:37 PM  
1 votes:

BinderWoman: My cyclist husband pointed this comic out to me because I am constantly complaining about arrogant cyclists. Not only running red lights & stop signs but, my biggest complaint, riding 3,4 or 5 abreast when cars have to share the road.


And then they flip you off because you deign to drive around them in the other lane.
2013-01-13 03:38:30 PM  
1 votes:
This thread is full of Schwinn.
2013-01-13 03:33:43 PM  
1 votes:

Too_many_Brians: As a person who does all of my incity chores by bike, I am so sick of the pompous arrogance of the Lycra brigade as they blow through every law on the road. You want to know why people are so wary of bikes? Because they have no idea what you are going to do next and then they will have their insurance go up because of your dumbass.


When I cycle, the behaviour of some car drivers leads me to despair. When I drive, the behaviour of some cyclists leads me to despair. Both sides really need to appreciate the others more: drivers need to know how incredibly vulnerable cyclists are and cyclists need to realise how very difficult it can be for cars to see them, particularly at night, and therefore how important it is to be visible and behave predictably.
2013-01-13 03:17:55 PM  
1 votes:
Law abiding cyclist here: No spandex, wears a helmet, three lights on my bike, ride in the bike lane whenever humanly possible and in the street, as per AZ law, when there is no bike lane, and stop at traffic signals/signs.

Sidewalk: Emergency use only, when person who doesn't like bicycles doesn't give me the law-required 3 foot berth and is a threat to my life. Hop on and off as quickly as possible.

Problem with sidewalks and roads: People who aren't on bicycles don't know the law. I've had to hop on the sidewalk before to avoid getting splattered, and had people yell at me to get off the sidewalk. I've ridden in bike lanes and had people actually slow down and tell me to "get the hell on the sidewalk."

No-win, no win. Ach.
2013-01-13 03:15:53 PM  
1 votes:

Skyd1v: doyner: Quantum Apostrophe: /Proud red light runner since like forever

I'm looking forward to rinsing you out of my grill one day.

Got hit by a red light running bicyclist 2 years ago. I had the green, the cyclist blew the light and hit my left front fender. The sight of her cartwheeling over my hood and *splatting* down in the middle of the intersection is something I will never forget.

/barely dented the fender
//farked her up


t2.gstatic.com
SAME ROAD SAME RULES MOTHERFARKER, HOW DOES IT WORK?
2013-01-13 03:10:26 PM  
1 votes:
Holy crap, this thread really makes me dislike cyclists.
2013-01-13 03:07:57 PM  
1 votes:

Watubi: Tip for bicyclists, if you are really hardcore, you buy the heaviest/crappiest bike available and wear normal clothes if you want to get the best workout.


i.imgur.com

Don't forget about adding copious amounts of rolling friction.
2013-01-13 03:04:57 PM  
1 votes:
Sadly true. I won't date cyclists. That's a deal breaker.
2013-01-13 03:03:59 PM  
1 votes:

theorellior: Dr Jack Badofsky: So. Cars should wait at that same intersection, but cyclists don't have to because they don't feel like it?

Okay, boys and girls, for all you pious drivers out there who sanctimoniously follow every gorram traffic law out there, I'm gonna laugh the next time there's a red light camera thread or a speeding thread and some of your are all puffing your chests out about how you ride the ass of every milquetoast driver who doesn't know the left lane is for Manly Drivers going 90.


Okay, if you hit me while I'm driving and you kill me with your bike and I so happen to be breaking the law, no hard feelings. If, for some reason, I hit you and kill you while you're breaking the law, oh well. I'm pretty sure law enforcement will see it that way too.
2013-01-13 03:03:44 PM  
1 votes:

theorellior: In other words, I will run a red or a stop sign for my convenience while on a bike, and I will travel faster than the posted speed limit for my convenience while in my car. DO any of you do any different?


I don't run reds on my bike. I also rarely speed in a car. Since I drive infrequently, I am very wary of the high speeds.
2013-01-13 03:02:16 PM  
1 votes:
I ride to work, and I can say that most motorist are decent human beings. The worst ones are the ones that don't seem to acknowledge your/pedestrians existence. IE: Blocking the cross walk when I have the legal right of way, and once some jerk nearly ran me over. He was going to run a red light, cross walk gave me the right of way and I expected him to stop but he kept on going and then yelled at me afterwards. As for running red lights, etc. I follow above all the rule of looking both ways before I cross the street. If nobody is coming in the direction of the cross walk that I hope to cross, I'm going to cross whether the light is red or not.

I also wave motorist through if they have the right of way, though its sometimes awkward when they wave me through and we both sit there for a moment wanting the other to go. I also sometimes ride on sidewalks, and guess what. I slow down as I approach people, announce myself, and when possible ride around them off the sidewalk.
2013-01-13 03:02:08 PM  
1 votes:

Too_many_Brians: Amishrabbit: As a daily bicycle commuter and model of good road cycling behavior (yes, I stop and sit there at red lights), nothing annoys me more than Jef-esque douches. Guess what, self-important cyclists of the Entitlement Generation: You're not helping the law-abiding, courteous, and Spandex-free road sharers. Just stay home if you can't behave.

This.

As a person who does all of my incity chores by bike, I am so sick of the pompous arrogance of the Lycra brigade as they blow through every law on the road. You want to know why people are so wary of bikes? Because they have no idea what you are going to do next and then they will have their insurance go up because of your dumbass.

/fark Critical Mass


Yep. This.
2013-01-13 03:01:53 PM  
1 votes:
On a semi pleasant walk across the Golden Gate Bridge,
I noticed that instead of the annoying little bells to announce that a pedestrian has entered the scared grounds of the rider,
they just yell, " LOOK OUT ASSHOLE "

/keep it classy cyclists
//livestrong
///quit doing dope
2013-01-13 03:01:29 PM  
1 votes:

Fuggin Bizzy: I always pack heat when I cycle, so that if a driver swerves and crushes my legs, I can shoot him in the dick afterwards.


I always keep a gun in the car so if I hit a cyclist and only crush its legs, I can put the thing out of its misery.
2013-01-13 02:56:42 PM  
1 votes:

JasonOfOrillia: Hamanu: That's funny; as a downhill racer that's how I see road cyclists. Little effete bike riders with tiny bicycles and prissy pants.

/Buy they weally weally twy so hard and it's just so cuuuute.

I don't have a tiny bicycle or prissy pants but you would impress me more if you raced up hills too.


? I just have a bike I bought at Costco. It gets me to and from work, to the grocery store, etc.

I play rugby, I don't need to prove I'm bad ass with a bicycle.
2013-01-13 02:56:18 PM  
1 votes:

Dr Jack Badofsky: So. Cars should wait at that same intersection, but cyclists don't have to because they don't feel like it?


Okay, boys and girls, for all you pious drivers out there who sanctimoniously follow every gorram traffic law out there, I'm gonna laugh the next time there's a red light camera thread or a speeding thread and some of your are all puffing your chests out about how you ride the ass of every milquetoast driver who doesn't know the left lane is for Manly Drivers going 90.
2013-01-13 02:51:49 PM  
1 votes:

Soymilk: theorellior: doyner: I'm looking forward to rinsing you out of my grill one day.

If a cyclist runs a red light and no motorist's right-of-way is infringed, does a driver still get butthurt?

What if a red light running cyclist mows down and kills a pedestrian?


We're about to find out here in San Francisco: Link.
2013-01-13 02:50:46 PM  
1 votes:

TV's Vinnie: D-Bag cyclist about to zip past my car.

Open car door innocently.

*P-THUMP!*

Bask in the glory.

Then, get cyclist's name in order to have car door repaired by his insurance. Sue him if he doesn't have one. Further bask in greater glory.


You realize that cyclists hugging the side of the street is due to cars whizzing by them of the left dangerously close. Excessive door prizing will only encourage cyclists to ride in the center of the lane which will slow everyone down.
2013-01-13 02:49:58 PM  
1 votes:

theorellior: Raoul Eaton: Perhaps not, until the cyclist slams into the driver's car and then decides to sue.

That's the cyclist being an asshole. As QA said, I have eyes and ears and no steel shell protecting me. It's in my best interests to keep from doing something that will kill me. That includes crossing busy freeways, riding out into incoming traffic, slamming into pedestrians, or colliding with cars. No of those things will make my day if they happen. So I try my best to avoid them. But I won't sit at an empty intersection waiting for a red light to change, especially if the sensor isn't calibrated to pick up my frame.


So. Cars should wait at that same intersection, but cyclists don't have to because they don't feel like it?

In a lot of states it is legal to run a red light if, for some reason, it won't change after you have stopped and waited a period of time at it.
2013-01-13 02:46:36 PM  
1 votes:
Before this thread I had no opinion about bicyclists.

After this thread, I think they are douchebags and I hate them.

Mission accomplished?
2013-01-13 02:46:01 PM  
1 votes:
Not all cyclists are of the dickish sort who disobey traffic laws, and those that are make the rest of us look bad. It's a problem. Still, the dickish drivers that try to run me off the road, throw things at me, or think it's clever to honk just as they are going past are not helping. That's also a problem.

Or in other words, a lot of people are dickish. It's a problem.
2013-01-13 02:44:24 PM  
1 votes:
Why must we have to share the road with the uninsured, untaxed, and unlicensed vehicles?
2013-01-13 02:44:24 PM  
1 votes:

Quantum Apostrophe: MrHelpful: That wasn't very helpful. People who obey the law can get killed as easily. I look where the hell I am going. Red wavelength photons emanating from a municipal structure are just a guideline for me. Far worse are the cyclists with headphones on, they are ignoring audio cues the entire time they are riding, I'm just running red lights once or twice.

That being said, I am in fairly good shape and have a decent bike. I also shift down when I brake so I can get back to speed easily. So I'm quite agile. When I go camping on my bike and have extra weight on my backpack and can't see as well, I slow down and obey traffic lights more, especially when I'm out of town.

Running red lights is a culture thing here in Montreal. Our drivers can barely master "right on green" so if I stopped at a red light that would be MORE dangerous as no one would expect it!


Dear cyclist,

RAMMING SPEED!

Sincerly,

Owns truck with cow catcher on the front

/ I keed; but, you've got to admit; it's not the best idea to run red lights. That's how you become a big stain on someone's windshield
2013-01-13 02:41:24 PM  
1 votes:

PrivateCaboose: I rarely drive here, because I don't own a car. But I'm often the only cyclist I see obeying the rules of the road. Also I hate the term cyclist. I just bike into work and back. 12 miles a day hardly feels like I should have a whole new term describing me.


This is why I will never hit you in traffic.
2013-01-13 02:37:15 PM  
1 votes:

HTApprovedChick: Quantum Apostrophe: At worst, someone will have a contusion.

Sutchi Hui begs to differ
I get it, it takes you a while to get up to speed and you don't want to have to stop at every red light, but seriously, if you use the road, the rules apply to you.


You not only beat me to the reply, you put it perfectly.
2013-01-13 02:36:55 PM  
1 votes:

Quantum Apostrophe: PrivateCaboose: Please describe for who I am a problem when there is no one around?

Any Pie Left : Please describe your mental process to arrive at that conclusion. I'm sure Elon Musk will build private space bike paths on Mars when he starts sending 80000 people a month there.


As long as your state has motorcycle laws allowing you to cross when there is no one there, you're fine. If you're running reds during rush hour because the traffic is a ways off, you're a douchebag like most of the cyclists I see in DC.
2013-01-13 02:25:57 PM  
1 votes:

theorellior: JohnAnnArbor: So a driver has no right to expect you to behave as a vehicle? So they stop at the 4-way stop, expecting you to stop next. They go (all legal), you blow in front of them, they have to jam on the brakes. You think that's fine?

No, I always respect the right-of-way of a vehicle if one is present. It wigs drivers out when I wave them through a stop sign, but there you go.


Because if it's your turn, just GO. That goes for bikes or cars.
2013-01-13 02:24:22 PM  
1 votes:
My cyclist husband pointed this comic out to me because I am constantly complaining about arrogant cyclists. Not only running red lights & stop signs but, my biggest complaint, riding 3,4 or 5 abreast when cars have to share the road.
2013-01-13 02:23:42 PM  
1 votes:
Just returned form Europe. You see tons of bicycles - people ride them! To work. To the store. Few drive cars. They build roads with small bike lanes. Drivers respect them. Riders respect traffic laws.

Obviously not as evolved as us Amerikans.
2013-01-13 02:22:10 PM  
1 votes:

theorellior: doyner: I'm looking forward to rinsing you out of my grill one day.

If a cyclist runs a red light and no motorist's right-of-way is infringed, does a driver still get butthurt?


What if a red light running cyclist mows down and kills a pedestrian?
2013-01-13 02:19:30 PM  
1 votes:
That's funny; as a downhill racer that's how I see road cyclists. Little effete bike riders with tiny bicycles and prissy pants.

/Buy they weally weally twy so hard and it's just so cuuuute.
2013-01-13 02:13:15 PM  
1 votes:

Quantum Apostrophe: If a bike weighs 3000 pounds and has 300 horsepower at its disposal, they might have a point. I have this thing called a brain. It allows me to understand my surroundings and plan my movements. I can stop on a dime. My bike weighs 13 pounds. At worst, someone will have a contusion.
/Proud red light runner since like forever
//Cyclists who smoke and wear headphones and text while cycling are the problem. (I've seen that)
///And don't get me started on Rascals and scooters on the bike path


Holy crap, we're in complete agreement.

I'm gonna go 3D print a beer in celebration.
2013-01-13 01:36:23 PM  
1 votes:
Is that supposed to have been funny?
2013-01-13 01:35:19 PM  
1 votes:
Jef had boobs. Is 'Jef' short for 'Jefercina,' or 'Jefelle'?
 
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