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(GoComics)   How cyclists see their fellow humans   (gocomics.com ) divider line 469
    More: Amusing, swines  
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30056 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Jan 2013 at 2:04 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-13 02:26:21 PM  
D-Bag cyclist about to zip past my car.

Open car door innocently.

*P-THUMP!*

Bask in the glory.

Then, get cyclist's name in order to have car door repaired by his insurance. Sue him if he doesn't have one. Further bask in greater glory.
 
2013-01-13 02:26:31 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: If a bike weighs 3000 pounds and has 300 horsepower at its disposal, they might have a point. I have this thing called a brain. It allows me to understand my surroundings and plan my movements. I can stop on a dime. My bike weighs 13 pounds. At worst, someone will have a contusion.
/Proud red light runner since like forever
//Cyclists who smoke and wear headphones and text while cycling are the problem. (I've seen that)
///And don't get me started on Rascals and scooters on the bike path


Yeah, but no one else can predict what crazy-ass thing you're going to do. That's why we have these things called "traffic laws," and you're supposed to follow them.

//very tired of the "never been in an accident . . . but caused dozens" variety of self-absorption
 
2013-01-13 02:26:37 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: MrHelpful: That wasn't very helpful. People who obey the law can get killed as easily. I look where the hell I am going. Red wavelength photons emanating from a municipal structure are just a guideline for me. Far worse are the cyclists with headphones on, they are ignoring audio cues the entire time they are riding, I'm just running red lights once or twice.

That being said, I am in fairly good shape and have a decent bike. I also shift down when I brake so I can get back to speed easily. So I'm quite agile. When I go camping on my bike and have extra weight on my backpack and can't see as well, I slow down and obey traffic lights more, especially when I'm out of town.

Running red lights is a culture thing here in Montreal. Our drivers can barely master "right on green" so if I stopped at a red light that would be MORE dangerous as no one would expect it!


Nice try but your bragging about blowing red lights is what makes my comment helpful. Everything else you said is just a rationalization for your dangerous and stupid behavior.
 
2013-01-13 02:27:06 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: If a bike weighs 3000 pounds and has 300 horsepower at its disposal, they might have a point. I have this thing called a brain. It allows me to understand my surroundings and plan my movements. I can stop on a dime. My bike weighs 13 pounds. At worst, someone will have a contusion.
/Proud red light runner since like forever


Do you remember the discussion here about the blog post by Chris Bucchere (pronounced, I hope, "butcher") in which he wrote

The light turned yellow as I was approaching the intersection, but I was already way too committed to stop. The light turned red as I was cruising through the middle of the intersection and then, almost instantly, the southern crosswalk on Market and Castro filled up with people coming from both directions...I couldn't see a line through the crowd and I couldn't stop, so I laid it down and just plowed through the crowded crosswalk in the least-populated place I could find.
I remember seeing a RIVER of blood on the asphalt, but it wasn't mine. I really hope he ends up OK.


If so, you may recall that "he" didn't end up OK. "He", a 71 year old man called Sutchi Hui, died in hospital.

Except insofar as no man is an island, I'm not greatly disturbed by cyclists or car drivers who kill themselves doing stupid things. I'm much more bothered when they affect other people; either those they hit and injure or kill or those whom they involve in the accident. When you end up under the wheels of a car at one of those red light, mangled, broken and quite possibly dead, the car driver is going to feel terrible, even though it will be entirely your fault.
 
2013-01-13 02:28:50 PM  

theorellior: doyner: I'm looking forward to rinsing you out of my grill one day.

If a cyclist runs a red light and no motorist's right-of-way is infringed, does a driver still get butthurt?


Perhaps not, until the cyclist slams into the driver's car and then decides to sue.
 
2013-01-13 02:29:07 PM  

JasonOfOrillia: I'm a cyclist and most of the motorists I come across drive reasonably. There are some idiots that cut you off or park in bike lanes or run red lights, but these people are in the minority. And I've seen plenty of cyclists do stupid things too. There is enough of that to go around for everyone.

On the other hand Pedos (Pedestrians) with their constant jaywalking slow things down for everyone as they stroll everywhere with their pedestrians-have-the-right-of-way bullshiat attitude.


Hey fark you too buddy.

/pedestrian
//doesn't jaywalk

///seriously, equating people who jaywalk with people who are sexual predators of children? I'd invite you to stay classy but I'd have to believe you had any in the first place
 
2013-01-13 02:29:09 PM  
JohnAnnArbor : If there are no cars anywhere, why should I stop? If there are cars, I obey the lights. Simple, no?

HTApprovedChick: FTA: "a bicyclist who was trying to break a personal speed record". And that applies to every cyclist? I don't have twin GE afterburning turbofans on my bike, OK? And even if I were trying to break a speed record.... I'd still be looking ahead. This nutjob sounds like he was looking at his feet or something.
 
2013-01-13 02:29:27 PM  

skinink: If I had the money I would pay off every state politician in Massachusetts to pass a law requiring all bicyclists to ride in the road only. I'm tired of the riders who act like they own the sidewalk.


That's already the law in San Francisco. Doesn't help.
 
2013-01-13 02:31:21 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: If a bike weighs 3000 pounds and has 300 horsepower at its disposal, they might have a point. I have this thing called a brain. It allows me to understand my surroundings and plan my movements. I can stop on a dime. My bike weighs 13 pounds. At worst, someone will have a contusion.
/Proud red light runner since like forever
//Cyclists who smoke and wear headphones and text while cycling are the problem. (I've seen that)
///And don't get me started on Rascals and scooters on the bike path


As someone who bikes to work regularly, let me assure you that you ARE the problem and you ARE breaking the law. I hope you get pulled over and fined.

I stop for red lights and stop signs.
 
2013-01-13 02:31:38 PM  

Any Pie Left: Quantum Apostrophe is also a bike douche; this explains much about his threadshiatting in space threads.


i'm also getting the "precious and unique snowflake" vibe.
 
2013-01-13 02:31:59 PM  

TV's Vinnie: [msnbcmedia.msn.com image 850x527]
Stare at it and enjoy, Farkers. Stare at it and enjoy.


Thanks, I was just about to post this one as well. One of my favorite cyclists vs cars images.
 
2013-01-13 02:32:00 PM  

stiletto_the_wise: I remember a great cyclist moment.

Where I used to live, the road outside my house was a popular one for those huge long "trains" of 30 cyclists who ignore all traffic laws and in general act like total douchebags. I lived on the intersection of that road and a small road that went to a community behind my block. I've often almost been struck as a pedestrian by these asses. Well, one day, there was a big ol F-350000 huge honkin pick'up truck at the intersection, the light turned green, and he started into the intersection. Just as one of these douche-trains was in the process of ignoring their red light.

That "THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP sound that they made each smacking into the side of the pickup truck made my day. It was probably the most satisfying sound I've ever heard in my life.

/ #2 was afterwards, the shreeking and biatching and moaning from the lawbreaking cyclists picking up their twisted wrecked bikes, who were FURIOUS at the truck driver who dared to enter the intersection on a green light.


How long did it take you to stop laughing at them? It would've taken me a few minutes.
 
2013-01-13 02:32:06 PM  

JohnAnnArbor: Because if it's your turn, just GO. That goes for bikes or cars.


No, I was referring to the concept that cars expect a bike to blow through the stop sign, so when I come to a stop and let them take their rightful turn, it blows their mind.
 
2013-01-13 02:32:50 PM  

Fuggin Bizzy: I always pack heat when I cycle, so that if a driver swerves and crushes my legs, I can shoot him in the dick afterwards.


I'll make sure after I've hit you the first time, I'll put it in reverse and take out your arms too.
 
2013-01-13 02:33:23 PM  
imageshack.us

I am a cyclist and long time motorist, this is how I see my fellow humans. Actually I don't see many of them out here because they're too goddamn fat and lazy to do anything like top out on something with your bike. I have no illusion of superiority about it, I am just one less thing in your way and I'm not bothering anyone.
 
2013-01-13 02:34:33 PM  

TV's Vinnie: D-Bag cyclist about to zip past my car.

Open car door innocently.

*P-THUMP!*

Bask in the glory.

Then, get cyclist's name in order to have car door repaired by his insurance. Sue him if he doesn't have one. Further bask in greater glory.


That happened to a friend of mine who was riding in the bike lane. She needs surgery now and the cop found the dude liable, so his insurance will be covering it.

If you're intentionally a dick, the law probably won't be on your side.
 
2013-01-13 02:34:49 PM  

Raoul Eaton: Perhaps not, until the cyclist slams into the driver's car and then decides to sue.


That's the cyclist being an asshole. As QA said, I have eyes and ears and no steel shell protecting me. It's in my best interests to keep from doing something that will kill me. That includes crossing busy freeways, riding out into incoming traffic, slamming into pedestrians, or colliding with cars. No of those things will make my day if they happen. So I try my best to avoid them. But I won't sit at an empty intersection waiting for a red light to change, especially if the sensor isn't calibrated to pick up my frame.
 
2013-01-13 02:34:58 PM  

Tumunga: Fuggin Bizzy: I always pack heat when I cycle, so that if a driver swerves and crushes my legs, I can shoot him in the dick afterwards.

I'll make sure after I've hit you the first time, I'll put it in reverse and take out your arms too.


I would first check to see if one of the legs is severed, and then beat the person to death with the severed leg.
 
2013-01-13 02:35:01 PM  
Q. Why wasn't this joke funny?
A. It was two tired...
 
2013-01-13 02:35:28 PM  
PrivateCaboose: Please describe for who I am a problem when there is no one around?

Any Pie Left : Please describe your mental process to arrive at that conclusion. I'm sure Elon Musk will build private space bike paths on Mars when he starts sending 80000 people a month there.
 
2013-01-13 02:36:55 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: PrivateCaboose: Please describe for who I am a problem when there is no one around?

Any Pie Left : Please describe your mental process to arrive at that conclusion. I'm sure Elon Musk will build private space bike paths on Mars when he starts sending 80000 people a month there.


As long as your state has motorcycle laws allowing you to cross when there is no one there, you're fine. If you're running reds during rush hour because the traffic is a ways off, you're a douchebag like most of the cyclists I see in DC.
 
2013-01-13 02:37:12 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: PrivateCaboose: Please describe for who I am a problem when there is no one around?


Because we all have to follow traffic laws regardless to prevent collisions when there is someone else there we don't see.
 
2013-01-13 02:37:15 PM  

HTApprovedChick: Quantum Apostrophe: At worst, someone will have a contusion.

Sutchi Hui begs to differ
I get it, it takes you a while to get up to speed and you don't want to have to stop at every red light, but seriously, if you use the road, the rules apply to you.


You not only beat me to the reply, you put it perfectly.
 
2013-01-13 02:37:24 PM  

doyner: Get over yourself.


LOL. That's rich.
 
2013-01-13 02:37:50 PM  

PrivateCaboose: Quantum Apostrophe: PrivateCaboose: Please describe for who I am a problem when there is no one around?

Any Pie Left : Please describe your mental process to arrive at that conclusion. I'm sure Elon Musk will build private space bike paths on Mars when he starts sending 80000 people a month there.

As long as your state has motorcycle laws allowing you to cross when there is no one there, you're fine. If you're running reds during rush hour because the traffic is a ways off, you're a douchebag like most of the cyclists I see in DC.


Ah...  You're in DC too.  I feel your pain.
 
2013-01-13 02:38:47 PM  
Closest I've ever come to an accident was when a cyclist was going the wrong way down a one way street inches from where the street I was on met the street he was on. I stopped, looked to make sure that there was no traffic and started to pull out (remember one way street). I pulled out about three inches when a cyclists sped by the front of my car going well above the speed limit. Prick then had the audacity to give me a dirty look.

/Want to use the public road? Than obey the same damn traffic laws as everyone else, dammit.
 
2013-01-13 02:39:44 PM  

doyner: PrivateCaboose: Quantum Apostrophe: PrivateCaboose: Please describe for who I am a problem when there is no one around?

Any Pie Left : Please describe your mental process to arrive at that conclusion. I'm sure Elon Musk will build private space bike paths on Mars when he starts sending 80000 people a month there.

As long as your state has motorcycle laws allowing you to cross when there is no one there, you're fine. If you're running reds during rush hour because the traffic is a ways off, you're a douchebag like most of the cyclists I see in DC.

Ah...  You're in DC too.  I feel your pain.


I rarely drive here, because I don't own a car. But I'm often the only cyclist I see obeying the rules of the road. Also I hate the term cyclist. I just bike into work and back. 12 miles a day hardly feels like I should have a whole new term describing me.
 
2013-01-13 02:40:25 PM  

theorellior: doyner: Get over yourself.

LOL. That's rich.


Dude, I generally like you.  My whole point is that it is inherently dickish and dangerous to carve out your own set of traffic laws for your convenience.
 
2013-01-13 02:40:40 PM  
I'm learning so much from these exchanges, and to think all this time I thought all cyclists were smug a holes.
 
2013-01-13 02:40:50 PM  
I just feel bad for someone that accidentally kills a cyclist because they blew a red light or stop sign.
 
2013-01-13 02:41:08 PM  

PrivateCaboose: doyner: PrivateCaboose: Quantum Apostrophe: PrivateCaboose: Please describe for who I am a problem when there is no one around?

Any Pie Left : Please describe your mental process to arrive at that conclusion. I'm sure Elon Musk will build private space bike paths on Mars when he starts sending 80000 people a month there.

As long as your state has motorcycle laws allowing you to cross when there is no one there, you're fine. If you're running reds during rush hour because the traffic is a ways off, you're a douchebag like most of the cyclists I see in DC.

Ah...  You're in DC too.  I feel your pain.

I rarely drive here, because I don't own a car. But I'm often the only cyclist I see obeying the rules of the road. Also I hate the term cyclist. I just bike into work and back. 12 miles a day hardly feels like I should have a whole new term describing me.


I will say on 15th St I ride on the sidewalk. During rush hour, the route to 395 is filled with scary drivers.
 
2013-01-13 02:41:24 PM  

PrivateCaboose: I rarely drive here, because I don't own a car. But I'm often the only cyclist I see obeying the rules of the road. Also I hate the term cyclist. I just bike into work and back. 12 miles a day hardly feels like I should have a whole new term describing me.


This is why I will never hit you in traffic.
 
2013-01-13 02:41:28 PM  

letrole: before the internet, cartoons had to be funny or else they didn't get published


Ziggy
 
2013-01-13 02:44:24 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: MrHelpful: That wasn't very helpful. People who obey the law can get killed as easily. I look where the hell I am going. Red wavelength photons emanating from a municipal structure are just a guideline for me. Far worse are the cyclists with headphones on, they are ignoring audio cues the entire time they are riding, I'm just running red lights once or twice.

That being said, I am in fairly good shape and have a decent bike. I also shift down when I brake so I can get back to speed easily. So I'm quite agile. When I go camping on my bike and have extra weight on my backpack and can't see as well, I slow down and obey traffic lights more, especially when I'm out of town.

Running red lights is a culture thing here in Montreal. Our drivers can barely master "right on green" so if I stopped at a red light that would be MORE dangerous as no one would expect it!


Dear cyclist,

RAMMING SPEED!

Sincerly,

Owns truck with cow catcher on the front

/ I keed; but, you've got to admit; it's not the best idea to run red lights. That's how you become a big stain on someone's windshield
 
2013-01-13 02:44:24 PM  
Why must we have to share the road with the uninsured, untaxed, and unlicensed vehicles?
 
2013-01-13 02:44:52 PM  
I'm going to bike in each and every one of your hometowns to run red lights this summer.
/Not really...
 
2013-01-13 02:45:35 PM  

special20: Why must we have to share the road with the uninsured, untaxed, and unlicensed vehicles?


For one thing, it reduces traffic congestion.
 
2013-01-13 02:45:48 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: Hey fark you too buddy.

/pedestrian
//doesn't jaywalk

///seriously, equating people who jaywalk with people who are sexual predators of children? I'd invite you to stay classy but I'd have to believe you had any in the first place


The fact that you don't jaywalk is cool. That is the responsible thing to do. And "Pedo" is merely short for pedestrian. As for those sexual predators of children, I'm not sure someone who seems to advertise themselves and a fan of a children's show should be raising that issue at all.
 
2013-01-13 02:46:01 PM  
Not all cyclists are of the dickish sort who disobey traffic laws, and those that are make the rest of us look bad. It's a problem. Still, the dickish drivers that try to run me off the road, throw things at me, or think it's clever to honk just as they are going past are not helping. That's also a problem.

Or in other words, a lot of people are dickish. It's a problem.
 
2013-01-13 02:46:03 PM  

Sticky Hands: letrole: before the internet, cartoons had to be funny or else they didn't get published

Ziggy


Family Circle
 
2013-01-13 02:46:07 PM  
When I was in college we used to throw water bottles at cyclists who rode way to the left and wouldn't move over.
 
2013-01-13 02:46:31 PM  

TV's Vinnie: D-Bag cyclist about to zip past my car.

Open car door innocently.

*P-THUMP!*

Bask in the glory.

Then, get cyclist's name in order to have car door repaired by his insurance. Sue him if he doesn't have one. Further bask in greater glory.


I think you're usually expected to check for oncoming traffic before opening your door and stepping into a traffic lane.  So would probably be you paying for his funeral, not the other way around.
 
2013-01-13 02:46:36 PM  
Before this thread I had no opinion about bicyclists.

After this thread, I think they are douchebags and I hate them.

Mission accomplished?
 
2013-01-13 02:46:38 PM  

Mi-go amigo: Not all cyclists are of the dickish sort who disobey traffic laws, and those that are make the rest of us look bad. It's a problem. Still, the dickish drivers that try to run me off the road, throw things at me, or think it's clever to honk just as they are going past are not helping. That's also a problem.

Or in other words, a lot of people are dickish. It's a problem.


Fist bump.
 
2013-01-13 02:46:59 PM  

mesmer242: Sticky Hands: letrole: before the internet, cartoons had to be funny or else they didn't get published

Ziggy

Family Circle


Sorry, mistyped that. Family Circus. I'm sure Family Circle isn't funny either though.
 
2013-01-13 02:47:24 PM  

GORDON: Before this thread I had no opinion about bicyclists.

After this thread, I think they are douchebags and I hate them.

Mission accomplished?


I'm more of a douchenozzle than a douchebag...
 
2013-01-13 02:47:50 PM  
You cyclist haters sound fat. Maybe if you got off your rascals and got some cardio, you wouldn't be so bitter and out of shape.

/Cyclist
//I make my own rules
 
2013-01-13 02:48:18 PM  

special20: Why must we have to share the road with the uninsured, untaxed, and unlicensed vehicles?


Because we pay sales taxes too and don't damage the roadbed?
 
2013-01-13 02:49:26 PM  

theorellior: special20: Why must we have to share the road with the uninsured, untaxed, and unlicensed vehicles?

Because we pay sales taxes too and don't damage the roadbed?


In his defense, the car title my friend has to buy and emissions testing for her old car is about $900.
 
2013-01-13 02:49:28 PM  

doyner: Dude, I generally like you. My whole point is that it is inherently dickish and dangerous to carve out your own set of traffic laws for your convenience.


Well, we'll just have to agree to disagree.
 
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