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(GoComics)   How cyclists see their fellow humans   (gocomics.com) divider line 471
    More: Amusing, swines  
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30037 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Jan 2013 at 2:04 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-13 12:16:47 PM  
This all went by in such a blur.
 
2013-01-13 01:22:50 PM  

Nothing To See Here: This all went by in such a blur.


It didn't even hand-signal or slow down, either.
 
2013-01-13 01:29:06 PM  
Yeah. That's about right.

Self identified cyclists are the lowest form of life on the road. Basically they're below possums and deed. At least there's 70lbs of good eatin' on a deer. You hit a cyclist, the best you can hope for is the police charging them for causing the accident. Too stringy for the cookpot.
 
2013-01-13 01:35:19 PM  
Jef had boobs. Is 'Jef' short for 'Jefercina,' or 'Jefelle'?
 
2013-01-13 01:36:23 PM  
Is that supposed to have been funny?
 
wee
2013-01-13 01:41:04 PM  

serial_crusher: Is that supposed to have been funny?


I think he was going for accurate more than funny.
 
2013-01-13 01:48:32 PM  

xanadian: Jef had boobs. Is 'Jef' short for 'Jefercina,' or 'Jefelle'?


I think it's a joke at Jef Mallett's  expense.
 
2013-01-13 02:09:41 PM  
If a bike weighs 3000 pounds and has 300 horsepower at its disposal, they might have a point. I have this thing called a brain. It allows me to understand my surroundings and plan my movements. I can stop on a dime. My bike weighs 13 pounds. At worst, someone will have a contusion.
/Proud red light runner since like forever
//Cyclists who smoke and wear headphones and text while cycling are the problem. (I've seen that)
///And don't get me started on Rascals and scooters on the bike path
 
2013-01-13 02:09:51 PM  
I always pack heat when I cycle, so that if a driver swerves and crushes my legs, I can shoot him in the dick afterwards.
 
2013-01-13 02:12:09 PM  
There's a difference between a two-ton steel vehicle powered by distilled petroleum and a twenty pound vehicle powered by oatmeal and sausage. Most of the present traffic laws were written when the top speed of both vehicles were around eighteen miles per hour. But keep complaining, I know it's terribly difficult to accelerate an automobile, you have to depress your right foot by about a centimeter, you might get a blister or something.
 
2013-01-13 02:12:56 PM  
Tip for bicyclists, if you are really hardcore, you buy the heaviest/crappiest bike available and wear normal clothes if you want to get the best workout.
 
2013-01-13 02:13:15 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: If a bike weighs 3000 pounds and has 300 horsepower at its disposal, they might have a point. I have this thing called a brain. It allows me to understand my surroundings and plan my movements. I can stop on a dime. My bike weighs 13 pounds. At worst, someone will have a contusion.
/Proud red light runner since like forever
//Cyclists who smoke and wear headphones and text while cycling are the problem. (I've seen that)
///And don't get me started on Rascals and scooters on the bike path


Holy crap, we're in complete agreement.

I'm gonna go 3D print a beer in celebration.
 
2013-01-13 02:14:09 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: /Proud red light runner since like forever


I'm looking forward to rinsing you out of my grill one day.
 
2013-01-13 02:14:52 PM  
theorellior: See what fun we can have together? Betcha if we met in real life we'd be best bum buddies like ever, in the whole universe.
 
2013-01-13 02:15:34 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: If a bike weighs 3000 pounds and has 300 horsepower at its disposal, they might have a point. I have this thing called a brain. It allows me to understand my surroundings and plan my movements. I can stop on a dime. My bike weighs 13 pounds. At worst, someone will have a contusion.
/Proud red light runner since like forever
//Cyclists who smoke and wear headphones and text while cycling are the problem. (I've seen that)
///And don't get me started on Rascals and scooters on the bike path


Keep running those red lights and forever is gonna take a turn for the worse. And my sympathy will be with the poor soul who ends up smacking you because they will bear the burden of running into your stupidity.
 
2013-01-13 02:16:04 PM  

doyner: I'm looking forward to rinsing you out of my grill one day.


If a cyclist runs a red light and no motorist's right-of-way is infringed, does a driver still get butthurt?
 
2013-01-13 02:16:21 PM  

xanadian: Jef had boobs. Is 'Jef' short for 'Jefercina,' or 'Jefelle'?


Guest artist Rob Liefeld.
 
2013-01-13 02:16:38 PM  
As a daily bicycle commuter and model of good road cycling behavior (yes, I stop and sit there at red lights), nothing annoys me more than Jef-esque douches. Guess what, self-important cyclists of the Entitlement Generation: You're not helping the law-abiding, courteous, and Spandex-free road sharers. Just stay home if you can't behave.
 
2013-01-13 02:16:38 PM  
I just love when I heard from the cyclist in question who was followed by a cop for a bit in a downtown environment. When he was finally pulled over he was given three tickets for running three red lights. $124 per light.
 
2013-01-13 02:16:40 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: theorellior: See what fun we can have together? Betcha if we met in real life we'd be best bum buddies like ever, in the whole universe.


Until our atoms wear down, at least.
 
2013-01-13 02:17:33 PM  
before the internet, cartoons had to be funny or else they didn't get published
 
2013-01-13 02:18:06 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: At worst, someone will have a contusion.


Sutchi Hui begs to differ
I get it, it takes you a while to get up to speed and you don't want to have to stop at every red light, but seriously, if you use the road, the rules apply to you.
 
2013-01-13 02:18:40 PM  
I'm a cyclist and most of the motorists I come across drive reasonably. There are some idiots that cut you off or park in bike lanes or run red lights, but these people are in the minority. And I've seen plenty of cyclists do stupid things too. There is enough of that to go around for everyone.

On the other hand Pedos (Pedestrians) with their constant jaywalking slow things down for everyone as they stroll everywhere with their pedestrians-have-the-right-of-way bullshiat attitude.
 
2013-01-13 02:18:51 PM  

Hughlander: I just love when I heard from the cyclist in question who was followed by a cop for a bit in a downtown environment. When he was finally pulled over he was given three tickets for running three red lights. $124 per light.


I'm glad he did that, that cyclist could have bruised one or more pedestrians and maybe skinned a knee with such dangerous and reckless behavior. Plus the cop got his quota for the day! Win-win.
 
2013-01-13 02:18:51 PM  
This is why I dont feel bad for using cyclists for speed bumps. But they do a number on my tires.
 
2013-01-13 02:19:22 PM  

theorellior: doyner: I'm looking forward to rinsing you out of my grill one day.

If a cyclist runs a red light and no motorist's right-of-way is infringed, does a driver still get butthurt?


Not at all.  It's the motorist with a green light that has right-of-way and still has cross traffic because of pedal-powered assholes that gets "butthurt" as you call it.
 
2013-01-13 02:19:30 PM  
That's funny; as a downhill racer that's how I see road cyclists. Little effete bike riders with tiny bicycles and prissy pants.

/Buy they weally weally twy so hard and it's just so cuuuute.
 
2013-01-13 02:19:49 PM  

How bicyclists treat pedestrians:


1.bp.blogspot.com


If I had the money I would pay off every state politician in Massachusetts to pass a law requiring all bicyclists to ride in the road only. I'm tired of the riders who act like they own the sidewalk.

 
2013-01-13 02:20:32 PM  
CSB: A little while ago I made a right hand turn out of a driveway on my bike. I didn't really look for oncoming traffic though and I ended up pulling out in front of a car. It was a campus road full of turns and speedbumps so it wasn't exactly a dangerous situation. At a shop sign down the road he rolled down his window and made a bit of a snarky comment. I said to him "I'm really sorry, I didn't see you there" and I said it with sincerity because I realized as I was pulling out in front of him that I was being a dick. I think my politeness caused his head to explode.

I run lights and stop signs but I do my very best to do it only when it's absolutely safe and non-dickish. If you get mad at cyclists blasting through reds and stops, watch any intersection for 5 minutes and count the drivers who make rolling stops and rolling turns on red.
 
2013-01-13 02:20:44 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: If a bike weighs 3000 pounds and has 300 horsepower at its disposal, they might have a point. I have this thing called a brain. It allows me to understand my surroundings and plan my movements. I can stop on a dime. My bike weighs 13 pounds. At worst, someone will have a contusion.
/Proud red light runner since like forever
//Cyclists who smoke and wear headphones and text while cycling are the problem. (I've seen that)
///And don't get me started on Rascals and scooters on the bike path


So a driver has no right to expect you to behave as a vehicle? So they stop at the 4-way stop, expecting you to stop next. They go (all legal), you blow in front of them, they have to jam on the brakes. You think that's fine?

Traffic rules are there so that people know what to expect on the road. Random violations are so common by bikes that I assume they'll do the dumbest possible thing at any given moment, with no regard for their own safety. I don't care if the cyclist is 100% at fault and there's video evidence of it: I don't want to kill one. So stop being douchebags and follow the damned rules.
 
2013-01-13 02:20:45 PM  
In before... Ah crap. Nevermind.
 
2013-01-13 02:20:55 PM  
MrHelpful: That wasn't very helpful. People who obey the law can get killed as easily. I look where the hell I am going. Red wavelength photons emanating from a municipal structure are just a guideline for me. Far worse are the cyclists with headphones on, they are ignoring audio cues the entire time they are riding, I'm just running red lights once or twice.

That being said, I am in fairly good shape and have a decent bike. I also shift down when I brake so I can get back to speed easily. So I'm quite agile. When I go camping on my bike and have extra weight on my backpack and can't see as well, I slow down and obey traffic lights more, especially when I'm out of town.

Running red lights is a culture thing here in Montreal. Our drivers can barely master "right on green" so if I stopped at a red light that would be MORE dangerous as no one would expect it!
 
2013-01-13 02:21:15 PM  

doyner: Not at all. It's the motorist with a green light that has right-of-way and still has cross traffic because of pedal-powered assholes that gets "butthurt" as you call it.


It was a riff on the "tree falling in the forest with no one around making noise" bit. If I run a red light with no oncoming traffic, will you get butthurt just to keep the universe in balance?
 
2013-01-13 02:21:40 PM  
I remember a great cyclist moment.

Where I used to live, the road outside my house was a popular one for those huge long "trains" of 30 cyclists who ignore all traffic laws and in general act like total douchebags. I lived on the intersection of that road and a small road that went to a community behind my block. I've often almost been struck as a pedestrian by these asses. Well, one day, there was a big ol F-350000 huge honkin pick'up truck at the intersection, the light turned green, and he started into the intersection. Just as one of these douche-trains was in the process of ignoring their red light.

That "THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP sound that they made each smacking into the side of the pickup truck made my day. It was probably the most satisfying sound I've ever heard in my life.

/ #2 was afterwards, the shreeking and biatching and moaning from the lawbreaking cyclists picking up their twisted wrecked bikes, who were FURIOUS at the truck driver who dared to enter the intersection on a green light.
 
2013-01-13 02:22:10 PM  

theorellior: doyner: I'm looking forward to rinsing you out of my grill one day.

If a cyclist runs a red light and no motorist's right-of-way is infringed, does a driver still get butthurt?


What if a red light running cyclist mows down and kills a pedestrian?
 
2013-01-13 02:22:28 PM  
Did you hear about the blonde that wanted to trade her Menstruated Cylcle in for a Schwinn?
 
2013-01-13 02:22:28 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: If a bike weighs 3000 pounds and has 300 horsepower at its disposal, they might have a point. I have this thing called a brain. It allows me to understand my surroundings and plan my movements. I can stop on a dime. My bike weighs 13 pounds. At worst, someone will have a contusion.


Only a contusion? Are you sure?
Link
Link
Link
 
2013-01-13 02:22:28 PM  
There's a reason we don't follow all the rules of the road; no one in a position of authority ever tells us not to. I've blown through red lights with a cop sitting right there watching. They never do anything, ever. You can call us arrogant if you want but if you knew cops wouldn't ticket you for running a red light I'm pretty sure you would do the same thing.

I think of it like this; considering all the crap cyclists have to deal with on a daily basis - getting cut off, cursed at, splashed with water, run into (happened to me a few weeks ago), etc. we deserve to run a few red lights. Don't like it? Too bad, get your own bike and join us.
 
2013-01-13 02:22:48 PM  

Fuggin Bizzy: I always pack heat when I cycle, so that if a driver swerves and crushes my legs, I can shoot him in the dick afterwards.


This.
 
2013-01-13 02:22:53 PM  

JohnAnnArbor: So a driver has no right to expect you to behave as a vehicle? So they stop at the 4-way stop, expecting you to stop next. They go (all legal), you blow in front of them, they have to jam on the brakes. You think that's fine?


No, I always respect the right-of-way of a vehicle if one is present. It wigs drivers out when I wave them through a stop sign, but there you go.
 
2013-01-13 02:23:03 PM  

skinink: How bicyclists treat pedestrians:
[1.bp.blogspot.com image 472x848]
If I had the money I would pay off every state politician in Massachusetts to pass a law requiring all bicyclists to ride in the road only. I'm tired of the riders who act like they own the sidewalk.


I don't want that. Just drive/ride according to conditions. That means slow down amongst pedestrians. Not a difficult concept.
 
2013-01-13 02:23:09 PM  
Quantum Apostrophe is also a bike douche; this explains much about his threadshiatting in space threads.
 
2013-01-13 02:23:42 PM  
Just returned form Europe. You see tons of bicycles - people ride them! To work. To the store. Few drive cars. They build roads with small bike lanes. Drivers respect them. Riders respect traffic laws.

Obviously not as evolved as us Amerikans.
 
2013-01-13 02:24:01 PM  

Soymilk: What if a red light running cyclist mows down and kills a pedestrian?


Then the cyclist goes to jail. Wow, that was easy, give me another.
 
2013-01-13 02:24:22 PM  
My cyclist husband pointed this comic out to me because I am constantly complaining about arrogant cyclists. Not only running red lights & stop signs but, my biggest complaint, riding 3,4 or 5 abreast when cars have to share the road.
 
2013-01-13 02:25:16 PM  

JasonOfOrillia: I'm a cyclist and most of the motorists I come across drive reasonably. There are some idiots that cut you off or park in bike lanes or run red lights, but these people are in the minority. And I've seen plenty of cyclists do stupid things too. There is enough of that to go around for everyone.

On the other hand Pedos (Pedestrians) with their constant jaywalking slow things down for everyone as they stroll everywhere with their pedestrians-have-the-right-of-way bullshiat attitude.


In defense of pedestrians, most cars are assholes at marked crosswalks that aren't enforced with a redlight. And I'm more surprised when cars at redlights HAVEN'T stopped with their car completely through the crosswalk. Also. At lights where a turn lane has to share with the crosswalk, drivers act like its the worst thing ever if you keep them from turning immediately because you're tyring to cross the frigging road when the light says you can.
 
2013-01-13 02:25:57 PM  

theorellior: JohnAnnArbor: So a driver has no right to expect you to behave as a vehicle? So they stop at the 4-way stop, expecting you to stop next. They go (all legal), you blow in front of them, they have to jam on the brakes. You think that's fine?

No, I always respect the right-of-way of a vehicle if one is present. It wigs drivers out when I wave them through a stop sign, but there you go.


Because if it's your turn, just GO. That goes for bikes or cars.
 
2013-01-13 02:26:09 PM  

theorellior: doyner: I'm looking forward to rinsing you out of my grill one day.

If a cyclist runs a red light and no motorist's right-of-way is infringed, does a driver still get butthurt?


Not necessarily, but the pedestrian trying to cross (legally, on their signal) gets pretty pissed off. You can stop on a dime. Try doing it sometime.
 
2013-01-13 02:26:14 PM  
Did you hear about the ginger that wanted to trade her Menstruated Cylcle in for a Pashley?

/English version
 
2013-01-13 02:26:17 PM  

theorellior: doyner: Not at all. It's the motorist with a green light that has right-of-way and still has cross traffic because of pedal-powered assholes that gets "butthurt" as you call it.

It was a riff on the "tree falling in the forest with no one around making noise" bit. If I run a red light with no oncoming traffic, will you get butthurt just to keep the universe in balance?


I'm in my house right now.  I don't give two farks what's going on outside on local roadways.  My "butthurt" is based on my first-person traffic experience.

Get over yourself.
 
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