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(Telegraph)   Welcome to your new home. There's a stiff penalty if dishes are left in the sink, cooking must be limited to 30 minutes, and pork is banned entirely   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 88
    More: Strange, landlords  
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16312 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jan 2013 at 3:32 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-12 04:55:47 PM
Hey at least you get to see it first. Here in Quebec if you buy a condo and you don't know that there's a "déclaration de co-propriété" (that's the act of incorporation for the condo), too bad. When you buy, it's implied that you saw it, even if you never saw it or signed it. Usually these acts are FILLED with petty rules like these, written in the vaguest and densest legalese possible. At least if you are a renter you can leave, which is orders of magnitude faster and easier than selling.
/Just another reason real estate makes no sense at all
 
2013-01-12 04:57:49 PM

spawn73: Seeing as this is a room that landlord rents out, he/she doesn't need a reason to terminate the lease at all.


I doubt all those "I keep your deposit" lines are legal.
 
2013-01-12 05:00:04 PM
This is when you send all of your mates around one at a time to view the room, each one blind stinking drunk and messily devouring a pork pie throughout the entire tour.
 
2013-01-12 05:01:53 PM

jtown: indarwinsshadow: But anal sex on the kitchen table is still a go, right?

Oh, man, that reminds me of the time I was looking for a room to rent in SoCal and I walked into the most bizarre home interior I've ever seen. It was a large place, easily 5,000 square feet and I only saw four rooms in the downstairs portion and came to the conclusion that it was a porn set. The large room to the left of the entry had a floor that was raised 2 steps up from ground level with stone (possibly marble) columns about 4' high with stone busts on top (heads, not boobs) on each corner of the raised area. There were fake plants all the way around the edge on ground level and the only furnishing in the room on the raised area was a Queen Anne sofa backed by red, velvet drapery hanging from the ceiling to the floor. So we go up onto the platform, across the other side, and down into the kitchen.

Huge room. 35-40' on a side. There's the usual high-end kitchen along two walls two walls and a gigantic, marble island right in the center of the room. Totally impractical placement if the island was intended for cooking prep. But perfect placement if you want to make sure there's room for cameras and lighting equipment on all sides. I'm pretty sure there was a lot of anal going on in that kitchen. Then they showed me what would be my room. Looks like it was a den or something. Wet bar along one wall. And my bathroom would have been a guest bathroom that "nobody ever uses". Right. If nobody ever uses it, why are there a dozen different body washes, shampoos, and conditioners in the shower and a bunch of brushes and loofahs? Looked like a hose-off-the-jizz shower to me.

I was kinda tempted to take the room but decided I didn't want a bunch of weirdness at home. Even if it was totally legit and the owner just had a weird sense of home decor, the vibe I got from him was a bit creepy. I ended up renting a room in a normal, boring house.


Sounds like a plus to me
 
2013-01-12 05:03:46 PM
I found a picture of the landlord.

www.biography.com

I'd strongly advise not using the shower.
 
2013-01-12 05:06:18 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: Hey at least you get to see it first. Here in Quebec if you buy a condo and you don't know that there's a "déclaration de co-propriété" (that's the act of incorporation for the condo), too bad. When you buy, it's implied that you saw it, even if you never saw it or signed it. Usually these acts are FILLED with petty rules like these, written in the vaguest and densest legalese possible. At least if you are a renter you can leave, which is orders of magnitude faster and easier than selling.
/Just another reason real estate makes no sense at all


Tell me about it. We just found out that the owners of a few condos in our building got together with a couple of other condo owners and changed the whole condo agreement without formally calling a meeting. They had a unaminous vote of those present, since quarum is around 20%. Now we are all screwed.

The rules arent too bad for a renter, but we own. Screw this.

They also voted to change quarum so we need damn near everyone to reverse it, including them
 
2013-01-12 05:14:03 PM

Fano: "Pots are to be kept inside the oven when not in use." Guess the nationality.


Italian? Eastern European general area?

As for TFA, cooking for only 30 minutes? How is that even possible? You can't cook a turkey breast in that time, or make soup. This landlord, basically, wants you confined to your room . He wants your money, but nothing associated with having another human being living there.
 
2013-01-12 05:21:20 PM
At least the prospective tenant got to see the rules in advance before signing any kind of lease. I've heard some horror stories where:
* lists of rules like this get sprung on the tenant by surprise after move-in
* lists of rules get added on to arbitrarily, at the landlord's whim, in a "boiling the frog" fashion
* there is no "list of rules" other than "anything that pisses off the landlord is not allowed," and no real way to know in advance that your otherwise-reasonable behavior is going to piss him or her off

She's lucky she had the opportunity to run away screaming and look for something else, so no real harm done.
 
2013-01-12 05:27:28 PM

montreal_medic: Quantum Apostrophe: Hey at least you get to see it first. Here in Quebec if you buy a condo and you don't know that there's a "déclaration de co-propriété" (that's the act of incorporation for the condo), too bad. When you buy, it's implied that you saw it, even if you never saw it or signed it. Usually these acts are FILLED with petty rules like these, written in the vaguest and densest legalese possible. At least if you are a renter you can leave, which is orders of magnitude faster and easier than selling.
/Just another reason real estate makes no sense at all

Tell me about it. We just found out that the owners of a few condos in our building got together with a couple of other condo owners and changed the whole condo agreement without formally calling a meeting. They had a unaminous vote of those present, since quarum is around 20%. Now we are all screwed.

The rules arent too bad for a renter, but we own. Screw this.

They also voted to change quarum so we need damn near everyone to reverse it, including them


Sounds like a Quebec problem.
 
2013-01-12 05:28:33 PM

Gordon Bennett: This is when you send all of your mates around one at a time to view the room, each one blind stinking drunk and messily devouring a pork pie throughout the entire tour.


Nah. You move in with a fake name, and on day three, you throw an all night bacon party with a live DJ, and 45 of your closest friends. Cops show up? Who cares? I'm at my real home watching it all unfold on the installed webcam I left behind.
 
2013-01-12 05:29:29 PM
Avoiding Pacific Heights?
 
2013-01-12 05:50:50 PM

Oznog: "Alcohol must be kept in room". Hmm, bit of ambiguity of English here.

I MUST keep alcohol in my room? I don't even drink... will you be coming into my room and inspecting to ensure I am keeping some there?


How about "Any alcohol  must be kept in room"?
 
2013-01-12 05:52:25 PM

ciberido: Oznog: "Alcohol must be kept in room". Hmm, bit of ambiguity of English here.

I MUST keep alcohol in my room? I don't even drink... will you be coming into my room and inspecting to ensure I am keeping some there?

How about "Any alcohol  must be kept in room"?


Hey, any but mine man, leave mine alone!

/that's a lot of alcohol.
 
2013-01-12 05:58:03 PM

rockforever: ZAZ: This is for rental of a room, not a fully equipped apartment. These are roommate rules as much as tenant rules.

Showers between the hours of 6am to 10am or 7pm to 11pm. No longer than 15 minutes. What? Does that 15 minutes count from the moment you step into the restroom?

Cooking only 30 minutes.

It sounds like this person wants to make money off his rooms without actually wanting people there. When I lived with roommates it was like, hey do you want to split a pizza? No? Ok I'm gonna cook something, you want some? No? Alright, later.

If you are gonna have people living with you, you will have to make contact with them.


I rented a room in Chile for a couple of months that had some pretty strict rules about showers (when and how long).  But the landlady was in other respects quite nice and accommodating, so long as the topic of Pinochet didn't come up.
 
2013-01-12 06:00:41 PM
montreal_medic: Civil Code supercedes that. Get to a lawyer NOW. This will degenerate quickly. Quebec really is a farking third-world banana republic without the decency of tropical weather. Condos are SUCH shiat. Real estate in general is garbage but condos in Quebec? I'd rather be homeless. I see these plastic and cardboard monstrosities being tossed up by Ontario companies with their pathetic brochures with no useful information in them and the sleazy full-size ads in the Metro... gahhh....

farking real estate, the domain of scammers, liars and thieves.
You can join the RGCQ or some sort of condo owners group, they will gladly hand out information.

/My parents don't understand why I rent
//They're too stuck in the past, home ownership made sense back when a single-income family had a reasonable expectation of employment in the same area for decades
///Real estate now is coasting on the mythology of a bygone era
 
2013-01-12 06:06:29 PM
change1211: How are the leaky roofs going in the strata over your way?
/Quebec is a third-world trash heap, but BC ain't much better from what I hear
 
2013-01-12 06:10:40 PM
If he's this much of a prick to total strangers, imagine how he treats his wife.
 
2013-01-12 06:29:43 PM
I moved to a new city with my wife to stay in her sister's basement. Well, it turned out it was an "unfinished" basement, and we weren't allowed to use the one bathroom, come in the front door, or play music or talk after 8 PM.

Did I mention new city with no jobs as of yet?

That sucked.

Never, ever, ever live with anyone, ever. Not even if you know them.
 
2013-01-12 06:41:53 PM
The headline used the words "stiff" and "pork". Now I have to go look at porn.


/rule 73
 
2013-01-12 06:44:23 PM

Mixolydian Master: Gordon Bennett: This is when you send all of your mates around one at a time to view the room, each one blind stinking drunk and messily devouring a pork pie throughout the entire tour.

Nah. You move in with a fake name, and on day three, you throw an all night bacon party with a live DJ, and 45 of your closest friends. Cops show up? Who cares? I'm at my real home watching it all unfold on the installed webcam I left behind.


I want an all-night bacon party now.
 
2013-01-12 06:47:05 PM
Every roommate I've ever had, if the booze wasn't kept in your room, it'd be gone. I became very adept at finding places to hide liquor from the last set (never again).

Started out in the closet, tucked into pants and coats, then in the air vents, then bagged up, under the potted plant...even came home from the county fair once with a huge blue snake I won at a game. That sucker gave his many a Sailor Jerry bottle until it was discovered.

S'okay though...I up resorting to pinching their weed to compensate.
 
2013-01-12 06:48:44 PM
ugh, damn cold fingers...
 
2013-01-12 06:52:00 PM

Big Merl: Wait, I've seen this before.  You must bring with you two pairs of black socks, one pair of Combat boot, one lack ski mask, two pairs of black pants, two pairs of Black shirts, one portable mattress and $500 personal burial money.


/the first rule of Fight Club?
 
2013-01-12 06:53:38 PM
Scam to keep deposits, IMHO.
 
2013-01-12 07:05:49 PM
Judging from the majority of the comments I don't think most people even read the article, typical Fark behavior. If they had they would have realized that this isn't about renting a house, apartment or flat, it's renting a bedroom in someone else's house.

The landlord isn't granting full access to the house, they can use the bathroom when necessary and showers are to be 15 minutes or less, which is more than enough time to do what's necessary in a shower, and he lists appropriate time when those showers can be taken.

They can use the kitchen long enough to cook a reasonable meal, eat and clean up afterwards, then it's back to their room. They can have visitors as long as it's approved first, in other words you cant bring home whatever farktoy you picked up at the bar that night. Again, perfectly reasonable.

No parties, no loud music, no drugs or other illegal activities, no using his things, again, these are all perfectly reasonable expectations for someone who's renting a bedroom in your house.

The only odd thing is the pork issue, which I'm sure is because he's either Jewish or Muslim, again, perfectly understandable.

Also I'm sure this guy would lighten up after a few months and the two of you got to know each other better, it's always best to bring all these things up before the person moves in, you can relax the rules later if things work out. However comparing this guy to Hitler and all this other stupidity is a bit much people.
 
2013-01-12 07:49:29 PM
Sounds like someone just finished reading "how to alienate people and lose what friends you may have"
 
2013-01-12 07:54:22 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: change1211: How are the leaky roofs going in the strata over your way?
/Quebec is a third-world trash heap, but BC ain't much better from what I hear


I assume you're referring to the leaky condo problem that BC had about 10 years ago, it was quite overblown. BC is nothing like the third-world trash heap you describe, the biggest complaint that people have is how expensive it is to buy any sort of real estate out there.
 
2013-01-12 08:03:06 PM

rogue_L_chick: Every roommate I've ever had, if the booze wasn't kept in your room, it'd be gone. I became very adept at finding places to hide liquor from the last set (never again).

Started out in the closet, tucked into pants and coats, then in the air vents, then bagged up, under the potted plant...even came home from the county fair once with a huge blue snake I won at a game. That sucker gave his many a Sailor Jerry bottle until it was discovered.

S'okay though...I up resorting to pinching their weed to compensate.


Why the fark would you tolerate living with someone that steals?

Alcohol in the common areas I can understand (at least until they're told to stop.) If they are breaking into your room to steal shiat, that's time to call the cops.

Also, you can pick up a door handle that locks at Lowes for less than a handle of cheap whiskey.
 
2013-01-12 08:09:08 PM
Sounds like my LL and I am renting a whole house, not just a room. He has invented all of these arbitrary rules and emails me all the time about them. We are apparently not allowed to appear that we live here from the outside, nothing on porches, no kid's toys or bikes or skateboards or ANYTHING outside. No trash or recycling bins near the house, he claims it is an "easement issue" whatever the fark that means, they are off the side of the porch. He has come in and done "inspections" multiple times, going through my closets, he sent me an email upset with me because I had laundry on the couch I was in the process of folding.

I am in a living hell. Lease is up soon, thank god.
 
2013-01-12 08:18:59 PM

IamPatSajak: Sounds like my LL and I am renting a whole house, not just a room. He has invented all of these arbitrary rules and emails me all the time about them. We are apparently not allowed to appear that we live here from the outside, nothing on porches, no kid's toys or bikes or skateboards or ANYTHING outside. No trash or recycling bins near the house, he claims it is an "easement issue" whatever the fark that means, they are off the side of the porch. He has come in and done "inspections" multiple times, going through my closets, he sent me an email upset with me because I had laundry on the couch I was in the process of folding.

I am in a living hell. Lease is up soon, thank god.


Get. Out. Now.

I lived with the landlady from Hell and will never go back to renting. She and my boss, aka Satan, were BFFs. 1.5 years later she tried to sue us for a broken water pipe that had caused the rotting of flooring and black mold. I was sick the entire time I lived there, didn't know why until another couple I knew moved in and found it. Thankfully, she didn't affix her signature to the lease documents so the case was moot. Flee while you can.
 
2013-01-12 08:25:44 PM

ReapTheChaos: Judging from the majority of the comments I don't think most people even read the article, typical Fark behavior. If they had they would have realized that this isn't about renting a house, apartment or flat, it's renting a bedroom in someone else's house.


Some of those rules are asinine. 30 minutes is enough time to cook some meals, but not everything. Can't cook a turkey breast, make soup/pizza/marinara/meatloaf, bake a cake, or anything more complicated than PB&J. The reasoning behind that is it's the landlord's "living space", as is everywhere else, and you're not entitled to be there. As stated in TFA, which you read, no living room use, so sit in kitchen, eat, and go back to your room. The 2 week rule is unreasonable, because the visit is only allowed per the landlord's discretion. They must stay in your room during the visit, not sleep over, and you're allowed 2 visitors per month. That is, if the landlord allows - he stated no visitors without prior consent, text and verbal. No loud noises - could a hacking cough count? Sneezing in the middle of the night?

As you yourself said, do your limited business, "then it's back to their room" - you'd have more freedom in prison.
 
2013-01-12 10:16:39 PM

IamPatSajak: Sounds like my LL and I am renting a whole house, not just a room. He has invented all of these arbitrary rules and emails me all the time about them. We are apparently not allowed to appear that we live here from the outside, nothing on porches, no kid's toys or bikes or skateboards or ANYTHING outside. No trash or recycling bins near the house, he claims it is an "easement issue" whatever the fark that means, they are off the side of the porch. He has come in and done "inspections" multiple times, going through my closets, he sent me an email upset with me because I had laundry on the couch I was in the process of folding.

I am in a living hell. Lease is up soon, thank god.


Landlords come in while you are away? What the fark is that shiat? No matter who's name is on the property papers, as soon as I rent it no one is getting in without my express permission. Rummaging through my stuff while I'm not there? Instant lawsuit. And I am very, very unlikely to sue anyone for anything.

/Rules may vary by country
 
2013-01-12 10:38:32 PM

IamPatSajak: Sounds like my LL and I am renting a whole house, not just a room. He has invented all of these arbitrary rules and emails me all the time about them. We are apparently not allowed to appear that we live here from the outside, nothing on porches, no kid's toys or bikes or skateboards or ANYTHING outside. No trash or recycling bins near the house, he claims it is an "easement issue" whatever the fark that means, they are off the side of the porch. He has come in and done "inspections" multiple times, going through my closets, he sent me an email upset with me because I had laundry on the couch I was in the process of folding.

I am in a living hell. Lease is up soon, thank god.


Dude, at least spend a few hundred on a lawyer.  Entering the property unannounced and looking through your stuff.  ILLEGAL bro.  At a minimum, you can get out of your lease sooner rather than later.
 
2013-01-12 11:45:09 PM
On the one hand I lived in group houses for a number of years, and half of those rules are unfortunately necessary, since it's better to spell out certain things in advance. The other half of them are batshiat insane.

I served on a local governmental Landlord-Tenant Commission for awhile, and most of those rules could not be legally enforceable here, especially since the landlord was probably: A) not licensed to rent under the local statutes, and B) most likely not using a standard lease. So, if a dispute came before the local commission, the landlord would most likely not be allowed to retain a security deposit using those rules.

/consumer protection laws are great
//this sort of thing would be a Free For All under a Randroid society. The renter would have absolutely no legal rights, and the landlord could throw the tenant out on an insane whim
///yes, we used to sometimes give the tenants 2x the security deposit back, in particularly egregious cases. But we also advocated for the landlords plenty
 
2013-01-12 11:56:45 PM

Krikkitbot: This is a picture of the landlord

[data.whicdn.com image 469x500]


He doesn't look Pakistani...

//Haha!
 
2013-01-13 07:19:59 AM

indarwinsshadow: table


Just not on the drafting table, right?
 
2013-01-13 04:06:56 PM
Heh, I rented a room from the Chabad House my last semester at college. I was banned from the kitchen entirely, but because of this the rent was pretty low... maybe $250 / mo. instead of more than $500 everywhere else. I figured I could afford to eat out with all the money I saved on rent. I'd put my drinks just outside the window to keep cold, and have cans of soup on the furnace to eat warm. It actually worked out pretty well.

One weekend my landlord who lived with us asked me to turn up the thermostat because his kids were a bit chilly. I didn't know where the thermostat was so he walked me up near my room and pointed to it. Then in Monty Python style I was like, and you want me to turn it up to here. And he's like, yes, just slide it up a few degrees please, and I look at him like thanks for showing me where it is but now that you're here why don't you do it yourself. And finally I give up and slide it up and he says thanks and goes back downstairs. Then I realized it was Saturday and I was being a dick and enjoyed a nice slow facepalm.
 
2013-01-13 04:46:55 PM

rwa2: Heh, I rented a room from the Chabad House my last semester at college. I was banned from the kitchen entirely, but because of this the rent was pretty low... maybe $250 / mo. instead of more than $500 everywhere else. I figured I could afford to eat out with all the money I saved on rent. I'd put my drinks just outside the window to keep cold, and have cans of soup on the furnace to eat warm. It actually worked out pretty well.

One weekend my landlord who lived with us asked me to turn up the thermostat because his kids were a bit chilly. I didn't know where the thermostat was so he walked me up near my room and pointed to it. Then in Monty Python style I was like, and you want me to turn it up to here. And he's like, yes, just slide it up a few degrees please, and I look at him like thanks for showing me where it is but now that you're here why don't you do it yourself. And finally I give up and slide it up and he says thanks and goes back downstairs. Then I realized it was Saturday and I was being a dick and enjoyed a nice slow facepalm.


heh, you played the shabbos goy then, they should have reduced your rent further if you agreed to turn the lights on and off for them, or do emergency jar opening duty.

Is it legal in all states for a room rental to not include a kitchen? For some reason I've got it in my head that in some states it's not legal.
 
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