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(The Blaze)   Kindergartener finds out the hard way that hand sanitizer is 140-proof. On the bright side, her insides are now very sanitary   (theblaze.com) divider line 59
    More: Scary, hand sanitizer, dark chocolate, disinfectants  
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7460 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jan 2013 at 11:02 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-12 11:04:19 AM
and here I thought my brother getting cirrhosis at 22 was noteworthy
 
2013-01-12 11:05:57 AM
Hopefully, her insides are also sterilized
 
2013-01-12 11:06:06 AM
Darwin is quoted as saying "Damn, so close."

Or, if you don't believe in evolution: Obama quoted as saying "Damn, so close. It was a white kid, right?"
 
2013-01-12 11:06:09 AM
Can something be "very" sanitary? Wouldn't it just be sanitary or not sanitary?

/inquiring minds
 
2013-01-12 11:07:07 AM
Two Christmases ago I included small bottles of grape-scented hand sanitizer in my gift bags. Hopefully I took out a few of those little bastards.
 
2013-01-12 11:09:18 AM
No more steel wool baths for her.
 
2013-01-12 11:09:19 AM
Easily preventable.

Just a dab'll do ya.
 
2013-01-12 11:09:41 AM
i199.photobucket.com: It's true what they say: hand sanitizer and women don't mix
 
2013-01-12 11:13:07 AM
Wait til she discovers sterno.
 
2013-01-12 11:13:41 AM
Future cheap date?
 
2013-01-12 11:17:37 AM
No clickies for Glenn Beck. Is there a non-derp link for this?
 
2013-01-12 11:18:07 AM

Amos Quito: Easily preventable.

Just a dab'll do ya.


I've gotta look into this for my new puppy. Does it come in an industrial size, one capable of covering everything I own in about a 2cm layer?
 
2013-01-12 11:20:15 AM
 
2013-01-12 11:23:42 AM
i309.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-12 11:31:59 AM
140 proof?
i711.photobucket.com
approves
 
2013-01-12 11:35:38 AM
Ban hand sanitizer! It's only purpose is to kill. If we can save just one child.
 
2013-01-12 11:37:23 AM

BigSnatch: Can something be "very" sanitary? Wouldn't it just be sanitary or not sanitary?

/inquiring minds


I dunno. It makes sense to me, though. There's "sanitary enough to prepare food in" and there's "sanitary enough to perform surgery in".

/don't do surgery in your kitchen
//or cook in the OR
 
2013-01-12 11:38:35 AM

StoPPeRmobile: Ban hand sanitizer! It's only purpose is to kill. If we can save just one child.


I was gonna say "That's not it's only purpose, dumbass" and then I realized how speciesist that was. Well-played.
 
2013-01-12 11:39:15 AM
Oops. *its.
 
2013-01-12 11:40:20 AM
Child score:
AR15 20 Hand Sanitizer 0

Better step up your game soap.
 
2013-01-12 11:43:40 AM
i309.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-12 11:47:03 AM

StoPPeRmobile: Ban hand sanitizer! It's only purpose is to kill. If we can save just one child.


That would be fine with me. The stuff is completely useless. Real kids, if there were any real kids left, would point and laugh at these prissy snowflakes who are afraid to get their hands dirty.
 
2013-01-12 11:54:32 AM
If only it was filled with isopropyl alcohol, none of this would've happened.
 
2013-01-12 11:54:56 AM

dkimball: Hopefully, her insides are also sterilized


Darowned.

Stop thinking of the children. It does nothing.
 
2013-01-12 11:59:48 AM
Maybe it's a bad idea to make hand sanitizer smell like food.
 
2013-01-12 12:00:54 PM

Rich Cream: Two Christmases ago I included small bottles of grape-scented hand sanitizer in my gift bags. Hopefully I took out a few of those little bastards.


When my daughter was just crawling around, she got into her diaper bag and swallowed a few ounces of grape hand sanitizer.

I freaked out and took her to the ER...they gave her some Gatorade and told me to keep her awake for a while.
 
2013-01-12 12:03:21 PM

StoPPeRmobile: Ban hand sanitizer! It's only purpose is to kill. If we can save just one child.


If 24 kids died in one day at one school from hand sanitizer, you can bet your ass it would be banned.
 
2013-01-12 12:05:08 PM

See My Az Go: Rich Cream: Two Christmases ago I included small bottles of grape-scented hand sanitizer in my gift bags. Hopefully I took out a few of those little bastards.

When my daughter was just crawling around, she got into her diaper bag and swallowed a few ounces of grape hand sanitizer.

I freaked out and took her to the ER...they gave her some Gatorade and told me to keep her awake for a while.



WHY MUST YOU RAIN ON MY PARADE?

/glad she's ok
 
2013-01-12 12:07:34 PM
Dianne Feinstein! We must immediately ban hand sanitizers! Quick! To the Legislation Auto-Bot room!
 
2013-01-12 12:19:48 PM
As I have a Masters in Paranoia and a crazy son, I've never purchased hand sanitizer. I just KNEW that my kid would decide that "bathing" in sanitizer is quicker than an actual bath, and would absorb all of that alcohol and DIE!

/Close enough.
 
2013-01-12 12:22:12 PM

Chinchillazilla: BigSnatch: Can something be "very" sanitary? Wouldn't it just be sanitary or not sanitary?

/inquiring minds

I dunno. It makes sense to me, though. There's "sanitary enough to prepare food in" and there's "sanitary enough to perform surgery in".

/don't do surgery in your kitchen
//or cook in the OR


Touche. I guess "sanitary enough to prepare food in" would actually mean you have eliminated enough bacteria and gone through enough precautions that the human digestive system can deal with the food being thrown at it. I guess I wouldn't actually call that sanitary, just very clean. In my mind, there are varying degrees of cleanliness, but something is either truly sanitary or it is not. I guess our society has come to accept that, at least in the food industry, sanitary = clean.

On the other hand, if a patient undergoing a surgery ends up with an infection from a lack of sanitation, it doesn't matter if the workspace was extremely clean, it still was not sanitary.

/discussing the specifics of sanitation versus cleanliness is not how I originally envisioned my Saturday
//swear I'm not pedantic
 
2013-01-12 12:26:49 PM

GoodyearPimp: Darwin is quoted as saying "Damn, so close."

Or, if you don't believe in evolution: Obama quoted as saying "Damn, so close. It was a white kid, right?"


Ouch! Uncalled for discount!.. I heard from the Secret Service agents speaking upon condition of anonimity becasue they're supposed to keep their damn mouths shut that it's Michelle that hates Whitey.

This girl is incredibly lucky to be alive and not blind...
 
2013-01-12 12:27:31 PM
"I wanna get chocolate wasted!"
 
2013-01-12 12:41:15 PM
You'd think a school would use the sanitizer that isn't alcohol-based. But then you'd be thinking, which is more than the person who ordered this stuff was doing.
 
2013-01-12 12:43:17 PM

bingethinker: You'd think a school would use the sanitizer that isn't alcohol-based. But then you'd be thinking, which is more than the person who ordered this stuff was doing.


They should put acetaminophen in hand sanitizer.
 
2013-01-12 12:43:34 PM
At least her blood will be akylotic enough to offer resistence to Andromena...
 
2013-01-12 12:47:13 PM

LouisZepher: At least her blood will be akylotic enough to offer resistence to Andromena...


That sounds a bit strained.
 
2013-01-12 12:51:28 PM

BigSnatch: Chinchillazilla: BigSnatch: Can something be "very" sanitary? Wouldn't it just be sanitary or not sanitary?

/inquiring minds

I dunno. It makes sense to me, though. There's "sanitary enough to prepare food in" and there's "sanitary enough to perform surgery in".

/don't do surgery in your kitchen
//or cook in the OR

Touche. I guess "sanitary enough to prepare food in" would actually mean you have eliminated enough bacteria and gone through enough precautions that the human digestive system can deal with the food being thrown at it. I guess I wouldn't actually call that sanitary, just very clean. In my mind, there are varying degrees of cleanliness, but something is either truly sanitary or it is not. I guess our society has come to accept that, at least in the food industry, sanitary = clean.

On the other hand, if a patient undergoing a surgery ends up with an infection from a lack of sanitation, it doesn't matter if the workspace was extremely clean, it still was not sanitary.

/discussing the specifics of sanitation versus cleanliness is not how I originally envisioned my Saturday
//swear I'm not pedantic


The word you may be looking for OS sterile
 
2013-01-12 01:28:43 PM
My son applied a large handful of sanitizer to his beans and franks when he was 4. He would have made Hitchcock proud with his screams. We have it down as a story to tell his future wife.
 
2013-01-12 01:31:54 PM

stevetherobot: StoPPeRmobile: Ban hand sanitizer! It's only purpose is to kill. If we can save just one child.

If 24 kids died in one day at one school from hand sanitizer, you can bet your ass it would be banned.


Why? Guns haven't been.
 
2013-01-12 01:33:09 PM
Now the lawyers will come out. If not already, as with contraceptive jelly, there will be
the mandatory "not to be taken internally" message splashed on the front.
 
2013-01-12 01:34:27 PM

Dragonflew: stevetherobot: StoPPeRmobile: Ban hand sanitizer! It's only purpose is to kill. If we can save just one child.

If 24 kids died in one day at one school from hand sanitizer, you can bet your ass it would be banned.

Why? Guns haven't been.


Actually they have been banned for criminals for a long time. See how well it's working out.
 
2013-01-12 01:53:26 PM

chitownmike: BigSnatch: Chinchillazilla: BigSnatch: Can something be "very" sanitary? Wouldn't it just be sanitary or not sanitary?

/inquiring minds

I dunno. It makes sense to me, though. There's "sanitary enough to prepare food in" and there's "sanitary enough to perform surgery in".

/don't do surgery in your kitchen
//or cook in the OR

Touche. I guess "sanitary enough to prepare food in" would actually mean you have eliminated enough bacteria and gone through enough precautions that the human digestive system can deal with the food being thrown at it. I guess I wouldn't actually call that sanitary, just very clean. In my mind, there are varying degrees of cleanliness, but something is either truly sanitary or it is not. I guess our society has come to accept that, at least in the food industry, sanitary = clean.

On the other hand, if a patient undergoing a surgery ends up with an infection from a lack of sanitation, it doesn't matter if the workspace was extremely clean, it still was not sanitary.

/discussing the specifics of sanitation versus cleanliness is not how I originally envisioned my Saturday
//swear I'm not pedantic

The word you may be looking for OS sterile


Ah, there it is. Thanks.

/seriously
//now I can have a normal day
 
2013-01-12 01:59:47 PM
So it is a dangerous trend the doctors have never seen before?
 
2013-01-12 02:16:52 PM
Whenever I hear the word "sanitary" I think of "napkins." Ew.
 
2013-01-12 02:19:53 PM

wildlifer: My son applied a large handful of sanitizer to his beans and franks when he was 4. He would have made Hitchcock proud with his screams. We have it down as a story to tell his future wife.


Pfft sanitizer. Try getting some 500,000scoville hotsauce on your junk. You'll hit highnotes Rob Halford couldn't touch.
 
2013-01-12 02:32:17 PM

Oldiron_79:
Pfft sanitizer. Try getting some 500,000scoville hotsauce on your junk.



paxus.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-01-12 02:37:23 PM

StoPPeRmobile: Actually they have been banned for criminals for a long time. See how well it's working out.


What's the matter, sugar? Isn't there a gun thread somewhere you can go blather on in? Also, as you gun people are so happy to point out, crime has been going down for a long time. So maybe some criminal somewhere couldn't get his hands on a gun, or maybe some domestic abuser couldn't get their hands on a gun, and someone didn't get shot that day. But we'll never know, will we?

bingethinker: You'd think a school would use the sanitizer that isn't alcohol-based. But then you'd be thinking, which is more than the person who ordered this stuff was doing.


I am convinced that the hand sanitizer companies are supplying this shiat to schools--part of the reason I hate the stuff so much. I know there's dispensers on the walls of all the elementary schools in this town, and I doubt that the school system suddenly decided that hand sanitizer was something they just HAD to have. On the other hand, it is the school administration, so who knows.

And a few years ago, hand sanitizer suddenly started appearing on the kids' lists of "things to bring to school"--along with tissues and the usual things like pencils and erasers and glue. I'll be damned if some teacher is going to tell me to go buy some useless product so that my kid can squeeze it out all over his desk and make spitballs. Because that's what they do with it. I wonder how much the hand sanitizer companies have gifted the school systems to convince kids everywhere that they need to smear some glop on their hands every 15 minutes to be clean?
 
2013-01-12 02:58:46 PM
cryinoutloud:

I am convinced that the hand sanitizer companies are supplying this shiat to schools--part of the reason I hate the stuff so much. I know there's dispensers on the walls of all the elementary schools in this town, and I doubt that the school system suddenly decided that hand sanitizer was something they just HAD to have. On the other hand, it is the school administration, so who knows.

And a few years ago, hand sanitizer suddenly started appearing on the kids' lists of "things to bring to school"--along with tissues and the usual things like pencils and erasers and glue. I'll be damned if some teacher is going to tell me to go buy some useless product so that my kid can squeeze it out all over his desk and make spitballs. Because that's what they do with it. I wonder how much the hand sanitizer companies have gifted the school systems to convince kids everywhere that they need to smear some glop on their hands every 15 minutes to be clean?


It's been on our list of supplies for years. I have never bought any. I'd prefer my kids to use soap and water.
 
2013-01-12 03:19:04 PM
I would imagine the inside of a Clean girl is really clean.
 
2013-01-12 03:51:46 PM
My step-niece did the nearly the same thing when she was 5-years old. Only in her case it was a cinnamon flavored mouthwash (Lavoris, IIRC).

Never understood why there is alcohol in mouthwash.
 
2013-01-12 04:28:50 PM

stevetherobot: If 24 kids died in one day at one school from hand sanitizer, you can bet your ass it would be banned.


20 kids in a day, caused by one guy, once in the last 20 years. Shootings by other students at an elementary school is about as common as lightning killing elementary school students while at a school, and outsiders haven't targeted elementary school students in a very long time.

If a teacher had convinced all the students to drink hand sanitizer until they died of alcohol poisoning, this would be a more accurate analogy. We would have 20 students in a day dead from a product that is explicitly designed to kill, yet such an occurrence wouldn't call for banning hand sanitizer either.

I wonder how many parents have killed their kids since 1/1/13. It's something like 1500 a year, so we're probably at 50 or so nationwide.
 
2013-01-12 04:42:44 PM

Bathia_Mapes: My step-niece did the nearly the same thing when she was 5-years old. Only in her case it was a cinnamon flavored mouthwash (Lavoris, IIRC).

Never understood why there is alcohol in mouthwash.



Keeps the Muslims away.
 
2013-01-12 09:33:50 PM
they should make hand sanitizer out of benzedrine
 
2013-01-12 09:46:41 PM

Bathia_Mapes: My step-niece did the nearly the same thing when she was 5-years old. Only in her case it was a cinnamon flavored mouthwash (Lavoris, IIRC).

Never understood why there is alcohol in mouthwash.


It's fast, it's cheap, and it's been successfully used for millennia to sterilize anything you can't cook. The alternatives are more expensive and either much more dangerous or much less effective (some are both), and bacteria can form a resistance to most, whereas alcohol resistance is basically impossible. (Anything that developed alcohol resistance would basically necessarily become something other than bacteria.) It also works very well on viruses, including the cold, unlike any other known hand sanitizing alternative - including essential oils. It's not useful against flu though, because hands are not a common infection vector: influenza breaks down in minutes on the skin, so most infections come from more intimate contact.

To defend the policy, even when snot-nosed students are sent to school by well-meaning parents, the use of alcohol-based sanitizers has been shown to reduce absenteeism by half, which is a decent accomplishment. It's a lot easier to train a kid to sanitize a few times a day than to not pick their nose, rub their eye, pick their ear, eat with hands, etc. (The latter is a more worthwhile end goal, obviously, but the first shows better results because it's easier for kids to remember.) I'm ambivalent on requiring it, but I just plain don't like structure or rules, so I'm not the best person to ask.
 
2013-01-12 11:47:39 PM

See My Az Go: Rich Cream: Two Christmases ago I included small bottles of grape-scented hand sanitizer in my gift bags. Hopefully I took out a few of those little bastards.

When my daughter was just crawling around, she got into her diaper bag and swallowed a few ounces of grape hand sanitizer.

I freaked out and took her to the ER...they gave her some Gatorade and told me to keep her awake for a while.


I'm not sure you want to be openly telling people that. Who the hell leaves a child unattended long enough for them to ingest hand sanitizer? Besides you. Who does that?
 
2013-01-13 02:26:17 AM

p51d007: Now the lawyers will come out. If not already, as with contraceptive jelly, there will be
the mandatory "not to be taken internally" message splashed on the front.


Isn't contraceptive jelly supposed to be used internally, just not in the mouth?
 
2013-01-13 04:25:38 AM

ParagonComplex: See My Az Go: Rich Cream: Two Christmases ago I included small bottles of grape-scented hand sanitizer in my gift bags. Hopefully I took out a few of those little bastards.

When my daughter was just crawling around, she got into her diaper bag and swallowed a few ounces of grape hand sanitizer.

I freaked out and took her to the ER...they gave her some Gatorade and told me to keep her awake for a while.

I'm not sure you want to be openly telling people that. Who the hell leaves a child unattended long enough for them to ingest hand sanitizer? Besides you. Who does that?


You are:

1. Never been a parent.
2. Never even baby-sat
3. Can't farking remember what it was like to be a kid and how few minutes it took to get your ass in trouble with a "brilliant-at-the-time" idea.
4. Trolling.

I'm going for all of the above.
 
2013-01-13 11:17:47 PM

bubo_sibiricus: ParagonComplex: See My Az Go: Rich Cream: Two Christmases ago I included small bottles of grape-scented hand sanitizer in my gift bags. Hopefully I took out a few of those little bastards.

When my daughter was just crawling around, she got into her diaper bag and swallowed a few ounces of grape hand sanitizer.

I freaked out and took her to the ER...they gave her some Gatorade and told me to keep her awake for a while.

I'm not sure you want to be openly telling people that. Who the hell leaves a child unattended long enough for them to ingest hand sanitizer? Besides you. Who does that?

You are:

1. Never been a parent.
2. Never even baby-sat
3. Can't farking remember what it was like to be a kid and how few minutes it took to get your ass in trouble with a "brilliant-at-the-time" idea.
4. Trolling.

I'm going for all of the above.


You're actually being the troll for trying to deflect a perfectly valid point.
0/10

1. Nope
2. Actually, I have. My mother and I essentially raised one nephew for the first four years of his life while his mother worked, and we watched my second nephew MWF.
3. I actually have a pretty fantastic memory. I was just never a simpleton child with the mindset of a dog that ran around eating all they could find.

There is no excuse whatsoever for letting a toddler out of your sight long enough for him/her to ingest something deadly. That's what DCS is called in on.

4. Fark off, Trojan Troll.
 
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