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(Fox News)   Two men plead not guilty to buying "unicorn of the sea" tusks. Look for them in the canned fish aisle. In related news, Fox News doesn't think its viewers know what a narwhal is   (foxnews.com) divider line 47
    More: Sick, Fox News, Canadian Arctic  
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4704 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jan 2013 at 11:41 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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GBB
2013-01-12 11:44:09 AM  
t1.gstatic.com

There is exactly 1 reason why i know what a narwhal is.
 
2013-01-12 11:45:02 AM  
They don't.
 
rpm
2013-01-12 11:46:47 AM  
Fox News doesn't think its viewers know what a narwhal is


Stop the presses! Fox got something RIGHT?
 
2013-01-12 11:47:00 AM  

LarryDan43: They don't.


Yeah. They probably think narwhals are a trap by Satan to make people believe in... whales, or something.
 
2013-01-12 11:48:32 AM  
Fox News doesn't think its viewers know what a narwhal is

They'd be correct in that assumption.
 
2013-01-12 11:50:36 AM  
this should help with those not familiar with this creature Link
 
2013-01-12 11:52:45 AM  
I think it bacons at midnight?

/not a reditter
 
2013-01-12 11:54:00 AM  
Let the punishment fit the crime. Push the tusks up the rectums of the guilty. "At first, the spiraling was pleasant..."
 
2013-01-12 11:55:35 AM  

LarryDan43: They don't.


Yep, Fox really nailed their core demographic on this one.
 
2013-01-12 11:56:13 AM  
Death penalty is too light.
 
2013-01-12 11:56:23 AM  
Swimming in the ocean!

By MrWeebl

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykwqXuMPsoc

i2.ytimg.com
 
2013-01-12 11:56:40 AM  

abhorrent1: Fox News doesn't think its viewers know what a narwhal is

They'd be correct in that assumption.


They probably don't know what a "unicorn" is, either.

dekerivers.files.wordpress.com

WARNING! This much derp is hazardous to your health.
 
2013-01-12 11:57:44 AM  

Summercat: reditter


ಠ_ಠ
 
2013-01-12 11:57:48 AM  
I totally don't know what a narwhal is... I've looked it up, but it's such a preposterous animal that my brain refuses to remember it. Sigh... (Hangs head in shame)
 
2013-01-12 11:58:09 AM  
well, of course they don't think their viewership would know what a narwhal is. After many years of dumbing down the content and slowly transforming the minds of it's viewership to gruel, I would expect Fox has it's own approved 3rd grade level dictionary of approved words.

CNN brains have been transformed into tasty wheat

C-SPAN brains become headcheese

MSNBC Brains become ?
 
2013-01-12 11:58:41 AM  
I'd hazard a guess that most Americans don't know what a narwhal is.
 
2013-01-12 12:00:14 PM  

ad_rizzle: Summercat: reditter

ಠ_ಠ


Grrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin :3
 
2013-01-12 12:00:38 PM  
thewanderingscot.com

The throne made of narwhale tusks in Copenhagen.

One of the main reasons Denmark colonized Greenland was because the king wanted these tusks, from the then unknown animal. Of course he didn't share the discovery of the narwhale with anyone, but instead told anyone who would listen to him, which was a lot since he was the damn king, that his throne was made of unicorn horns. :D
 
2013-01-12 12:06:29 PM  
Not knowing what a narwhal is better than not knowing what the Constitution is.

/see MSNBC for reference
 
2013-01-12 12:07:26 PM  
Nobody's posted this yet?
 
2013-01-12 12:13:18 PM  
I guess the smugglers should use virgins to smuggle the ivory over the border.
 
2013-01-12 12:16:46 PM  

Cloudchaser Sakonige the Red Wolf: Swimming in the ocean!

By MrWeebl

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykwqXuMPsoc


YES! Came here to post this.
 
2013-01-12 12:19:20 PM  

GBB: There is exactly 1 reason why i know what a narwhal is.


Came here for this. Done in one.
 
2013-01-12 12:19:28 PM  
Chickens on the land, fish in the sea!
 
2013-01-12 12:41:06 PM  

Clemkadidlefark: Not knowing what a narwhal is better than not knowing what the Constitution is.

/see MSNBC for reference


www.google.ca
 
2013-01-12 12:47:13 PM  

GBB: There is exactly 1 reason why i know what a narwhal is.


get out of my mind!
 
2013-01-12 01:00:05 PM  
www.comicbookmovie.com
Knows something about narwhals.
 
2013-01-12 01:01:58 PM  
Vikings used to sell Narwhal tusks to the lesser civilizations as unicorn horns
 
2013-01-12 01:02:57 PM  
I still don't know what that is, narwhal I ever find out.
 
2013-01-12 01:05:39 PM  
I know that it is wrong, but I really want a narwhal tusk.
 
2013-01-12 01:10:06 PM  
"In related news, Fox News doesn't think its viewers know what a narwhal is."

They're probably right subby. They're probably right...
 
2013-01-12 01:14:19 PM  
Clearly they are the unicorns that didn't make it on the ark, and became very good swimmers.
 
2013-01-12 01:16:37 PM  

Mock26: I know that it is wrong, but I really want a narwhal tusk.


It doesn't exactly fit in your pocket.  It's like 5'-10' long.
 
2013-01-12 01:25:26 PM  

hasty ambush: Vikings used to sell Narwhal tusks to the lesser civilizations as unicorn horns


Well, they sort of are, if you are willing to accept a dolphin as a base for the unicorn instead of the horse. By the way, the scientific name for the narwhal species actually means 'unicorn'.
 
2013-01-12 01:30:12 PM  
Very funny subby, but I do not, in fact, know what a narwhal is.

On the other hand, every good American knows what a unicorn is, because we are taught in Sunday school that Noah did not bring them on the Ark and that's why they're extinct.

Calling them "narwhals" might make you feel good because you can show off how smart you are. But it just confuses normal Americans.

Have you ever been in the company of smart people who are discussing something that you know nothing about? And their sneering disdain at your ignorance when it becomes evident?

Well, that happens to a lot of people. Good people. People who you liberal elites would call "dumb".

And we watch Fox News so that we never have to come into contact with you people. Ever.
 
2013-01-12 01:33:43 PM  
If I remember correctly; the horn of a narwhal isn't a horn at all. It's a tooth; somewhat analogous to the tusks on an elephant.

/ but, I could be wrong
 
2013-01-12 01:43:42 PM  

Mock26: I know that it is wrong, but I really want a narwhal tusk.


I want two, for sword fights.
 
2013-01-12 02:11:28 PM  

Cloudchaser Sakonige the Red Wolf: Swimming in the ocean!

By MrWeebl

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykwqXuMPsoc


They're the Jedi of the sea.
 
2013-01-12 02:25:14 PM  

dragonchild: Mock26: I know that it is wrong, but I really want a narwhal tusk.

It doesn't exactly fit in your pocket.  It's like 5'-10' long.


I have really big pockets.
 
2013-01-12 02:57:52 PM  
I learned about narwhals from "20,000 Leagues Under The Sea" when I was like 7.
 
2013-01-12 03:01:19 PM  
This is how teachers figure out that you read Cliffs Notes instead of Melville's Moby Dick. He covers this quite clearly, and you weren't paying attention. Oh. I forgot. They don't teach the classics any more. The vocabulary is too hard.
 
2013-01-12 03:11:59 PM  
Came for Weebl. Leaving satisfied.

/They stop Cthulhu eatin' ye!
 
2013-01-12 03:19:39 PM  

Perducci: Chickens on the land, fish in the sea!


Dragon meat in heaven, donkey meat on earth!

dragonchild: Mock26: I know that it is wrong, but I really want a narwhal tusk.

It doesn't exactly fit in your pocket.  It's like 5'-10' long.


That's what she said.
 
2013-01-12 09:42:20 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-01-12 11:32:06 PM  

Wasilla Hillbilly: I still don't know what that is, narwhal I ever find out.


Nice!
 
2013-01-13 09:06:55 AM  
They don't, in fact I had a disagreement with my wife a few weeks ago about whether or not they were real and whether or not they still exist.

She was wrong on both counts.
 
2013-01-13 03:21:42 PM  

NathanAllen: They don't, in fact I had a disagreement with my wife a few weeks ago about whether or not they were real and whether or not they still exist.

She was wrong on both counts.


So wait, she insisted that they were both unreal and that they no longer existed?
 
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