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(Cracked)   5 little-known sequels that ruined iconic stories. 'A Christmas Story 2' strangely absent   (cracked.com) divider line 102
    More: Fail, dalmatian, The Starlight Barking, Starlight Barking, homeschooling, Cruella, Hannibal Lecter, The Graduate, Dino De Laurentiis  
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10090 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 12 Jan 2013 at 10:25 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-12 02:08:58 PM

sniderman: I sorta, kinda liked Christmas Story 2...

/yes, I am bad and I should feel bad.


Yes you should. I was willing to give it a fair shake, but when you have to sit through an hour and a half of sight gags and pratfalls, all with no purpose or goal in mind, it gets really ponderous.

Highlander 2 still holds the crown for worst sequel though. CS2 is in the top 5.
 
2013-01-12 02:23:37 PM
The Godfather III
 
2013-01-12 02:30:22 PM

FeedTheCollapse: I've always thought it somewhat odd that Crystal Skull gets shat on but Temple of Doom gets a pass from Indiana Jones fans. ToD has some good moments, but it's pretty damn cheesy in spots and has an annoying female lead. That's not to imply Crystal Skull was a good movie, but it's not like the series didn't have its faults before that...


I don't mind things being cheesy, over-the-top or ridiculous. Indy getting on a U-boat in Raiders is hardly sensible, is it?A giant ball rolling down in a cavern is pretty OTT and ridiculous.

I never had a problem with "nuke the fridge" because it was about the most entertaining part of Crystal Skull. How do you make a movie where you have one of the best actresses alive playing the villain, and you can't remember a single thing that's entertaining that she did?
 
2013-01-12 02:49:19 PM

AnthraxRipple: Apparently the real sequel to A Christmas Story is really obscure:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It_Runs_in_the_Family_(1994_film)

It was mildly entertaining.


that looks much more interesting than the "official" sequel; though IMDB reviews of Christmas Story 2 seem surprisingly positive.


farkeruk: I never had a problem with "nuke the fridge" because it was about the most entertaining part of Crystal Skull. How do you make a movie where you have one of the best actresses alive playing the villain, and you can't remember a single thing that's entertaining that she did?


Yeah, it never occurred to me that the "Nuke the Fridge" part was any more ridiculous than other Indiana Jones scenes until I came here as well; ditto the complaints about the movie involving aliens, which always came off as some kind of annoying semantics debate about the plots of the previous movies. I think I was more annoyed that it kind of seemed like a half-assed torch-passing to Shia
 
2013-01-12 03:16:20 PM
Maybe I'm misunderstanding the premise. "Ruined Iconic Stories"? "Ruined"?

101 Dalmations-...okay, I'll play along. Intact
King Kong- Intact
Graduate- Intact
Casablanca- Intact
Leave It To Beaver- That was a movie? Oh, alright. In that case, no (S)M*A*S*H? Still, intact

What of these has been ruined?

/Now that I'm finished picking nits, did they make a Goonies 2?
//*forgets to duck, says "ouch," leaves to put ice on head*
///always slashy trilogy
 
2013-01-12 03:18:21 PM

gunga galunga: jeffjo52: gunga galunga: The Halloween sequels. It was much scarier when Michael Meyers started terrorizing Laurie by picking her at random when she dropped the keys off at the old house. All this "long lost sister" crap that was retconned on when they made Halloween 2 undid a lot for me. Especially the footage that Carpenter shot later and edited into the first movie.

WTF are you smoking, Michael Myers was ALWAYS her brother... if you are talking about another retcon, please elaborate.

Watch the original cut of the original Halloween. Find one reference to Laurie being Michael Meyers sister and get back to me.


Admittedly, I am not the biggest Halloween fan, and I was right onboard with JeffJo there. Then I thought about it for a second, and hoooooooooooooo whaaaaaaaat THAT sequel truly ruined the original. Without a doubt.
Well played sir, well played.
 
2013-01-12 03:40:14 PM
Boondock Saints...best movie ever.
Boondock Saints: All Saints Day...wtfbbq? Why is there a Mexican?
 
2013-01-12 03:43:09 PM

jake_lex: I don't think a bad sequel "ruins" a movie, because you just pretend that they don't exist.


The best example of this is that people don't even know there are three other A Christmas Story sequels that came before A Christmas Story 2.
 
2013-01-12 03:52:19 PM
 
2013-01-12 03:55:03 PM

justanothersumguy: The Godfather III


Okay, any movie where a guy grab's someone's glasses, snaps the lenses in half and then uses those to murder said person all in under a few seconds is awesome, no matter what happened earlier in the film.
 
2013-01-12 03:55:57 PM

ten foiled hats: Now that I'm finished picking nits, did they make a Goonies 2?


just for the NES, though it's plot seemed to be at odds with what happened in the original movie. I'm actually surprised they haven't made a sequel or remake.
 
2013-01-12 03:56:02 PM

yukichigai: justanothersumguy: The Godfather III

Okay, any movie where a guy grabs someone's glasses, snaps the lenses in half and then uses those to murder said person all in under a few seconds is awesome, no matter what happened earlier in the film.


FTFM

/WTF is wrong with me?
 
2013-01-12 04:04:31 PM

Disposable Rob: jake_lex: I don't think a bad sequel "ruins" a movie, because you just pretend that they don't exist.


The best example of this is that people don't even know there are three other A Christmas Story sequels that came before A Christmas Story 2.


I remember It Runs In The Family. What were the other two?

And don't say A Summer Story. That's what they retitlted It Runs In The Family as for the video release after it flopped in the theaters.

/nothing against Charles Grodin, but boy, was he a lousy replacement for Darren McGavin
//Kieran Culkin and Mary Steenbergen fared marginally better as Ralphie and Mrs Parker
///key word: "marginally"
 
2013-01-12 04:05:16 PM

HeartBurnKid: Znuh: The new Galactica. Hearing how they were making crap up on the fly. I'm a Cylon, you're a Cylon, OMG he's a Cylon too, and God's a Cylon. Or God.

I'll catch flak, but what a huge, grinding POS that show was. But wait, I'll mask the poor writing with jerky camera and rack the focus for emotional punctuation.

Agree with Ghostbusters II, Star Wars 1-3, Hmm, the Undiscovered Country, Nemesis, Cannonball Run 2 and 3.

Oh Crap. Highlander II.

The sad thing is that Highlander II isn't the worst Highlander sequel. Not by a long shot.

[www.tvshowsondvd.com image 400x645]

[www.nanarland.com image 405x598]


You missed one:

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com

/never been able to make it through a whole episode
 
2013-01-12 04:10:45 PM
They left off Return to Mayberry. A sappy mess of a TV movie that starts off with Andy visiting Aint Bee in cemetery...
 
2013-01-12 04:12:54 PM

gunga galunga: I remember It Runs In The Family. What were the other two?


according to IMDB, there's a couple of related movies and TV specials:

The Phantom of the Open Hearth (A Christmas Story is apparently a remake of this, though based off the same story)
Ollie Hopnoodle's Haven of Bliss

Tv episodes(?):
"American Playhouse" The Great American Fourth of July and Other Disasters
"American Playhouse" The Star-Crossed Romance of Josephine Cosnowski
 
2013-01-12 04:16:40 PM
I saw the King Kong movie. Holy hells was it ever bad. It was so bad it made Cobra (that awful mess with Stallone) look good by comparison.
 
2013-01-12 04:30:44 PM
As far as the Cracked list goes, I think the most truly WTF sequel on that has got to be the followup novel to The Graduate.
 
2013-01-12 04:43:25 PM

Guns n' Farkin Roses: cretinbob: [www.nextmovie.com image 300x220]

Bite your tongue!

Two men enter, one man leave!!!


The thing that always bugged me about Thunderdome is they had the same actor who played the helicopter pilot in Road Warrior in it, but not as the same character. So for half the movie I was wondering why he and Max Max don't recognize each other.
 
2013-01-12 05:07:45 PM

swahnhennessy: Just saw King Kong Lives a few weeks ago as part of tradition my friend and I have of watching the worst movies we can think of/find. It fit the bill nicely. Boy, was it lousy.


Yeah, but it isn't exactly "little known". Same with Still the Beaver, I remember when that shiat came out.

This list is one of the 3 typical Cracked lists: The really cool, well thought out, well write and very entertaining list, The "Top 'X' of all Time" list where they have about half of the examples they need, and then throw in shiat for the other half that doesn't meet the criteria(Such as the 101 Dalmatians sequel that was just a book and never a movie), and the list that just sucks, sucks, sucks, whether it was just phoned in, all of the examples are bad, or they just jump to Mythbusters-type conclusions and write off alternative explanations that don't fit their preset agenda.

This list is the second kind. Half of it is pretty interesting, and the other half just seems to be last minute filler...
 
2013-01-12 05:10:06 PM
Wasn't there a sequel to roger rabbit?
 
2013-01-12 05:21:16 PM
Future Shock, sequel to Rocky Horror Picture Show...

The sacrilege!
 
2013-01-12 05:27:55 PM
They made a Graduate sequel?

www.joblo.com

Starts about 2 minutes in.
 
2013-01-12 05:28:43 PM

Fano: Wasn't there a sequel to roger rabbit?


They talked about it, but IIRC getting the rights to use all those non-Disney characters was expensive enough the first time around. Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck weren't cheap and Warner Brothers had a lot of stipulations on how they could be used. After Roger Rabbit was such a huge hit, the other studios wanted even more money if they wanted their characters used In any sequel. It just got to be prohibitively expensive so the sequel was scrapped.
 
2013-01-12 05:33:24 PM

gunga galunga: Fano: Wasn't there a sequel to roger rabbit?

They talked about it, but IIRC getting the rights to use all those non-Disney characters was expensive enough the first time around. Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck weren't cheap and Warner Brothers had a lot of stipulations on how they could be used. After Roger Rabbit was such a huge hit, the other studios wanted even more money if they wanted their characters used In any sequel. It just got to be prohibitively expensive so the sequel was scrapped.


There was a book sequel, though.
 
2013-01-12 05:43:14 PM

SCUBA_Archer: Highlander 2 still holds the crown for worst sequel though.


Pssh. Highlander 2 isn't even the worst Highlander sequel.
 
2013-01-12 05:46:57 PM

Mikey1969: The "Top 'X' of all Time" list where they have about half of the examples they need, and then throw in shiat for the other half that doesn't meet the criteria (Such as the 101 Dalmatians sequel that was just a book and never a movie)


well, the movie was based off the book and its sequel was written by the same author.... Though the "Official" sequel book to Casablanca are probably better examples.
 
2013-01-12 05:58:11 PM
some more obscure "sequels" with barely any connection to the original

the return of josey wales
total recall 2070
 
2013-01-12 06:17:33 PM

HeartBurnKid: SCUBA_Archer: Highlander 2 still holds the crown for worst sequel though.

Pssh. Highlander 2 isn't even the worst Highlander sequel.


Yes it was. It did the worst possible thing - it shattered the foundation of the story - making the immortals into alien prisoners is stupid on the level of mitichlorians.
 
2013-01-12 06:21:39 PM
upload.wikimedia.org

Pretty much shredded Henry Fool. Kinda worth seeing 'cause 1) Posey and 2) Hartley's writing is a perfect match for Goldblum, but Christ!
 
2013-01-12 06:29:03 PM

madgonad: HeartBurnKid: SCUBA_Archer: Highlander 2 still holds the crown for worst sequel though.

Pssh. Highlander 2 isn't even the worst Highlander sequel.

Yes it was. It did the worst possible thing - it shattered the foundation of the story - making the immortals into alien prisoners is stupid on the level of mitichlorians.


I repeat:

www.nanarland.com
 
2013-01-12 07:17:16 PM

Tyrone Slothrop: The thing that always bugged me about Thunderdome is they had the same actor who played the helicopter pilot in Road Warrior in it, but not as the same character. So for half the movie I was wondering why he and Max Max don't recognize each other.


See,  I always thought they were the same character and they did recognize each other. Also, the kid is the feral kid from II all cleaned up.
But yeah, now I'm for sure going to watch it again and also
this thread sucks without voting enabled
 
2013-01-12 07:26:23 PM

HeartBurnKid: madgonad: HeartBurnKid: SCUBA_Archer: Highlander 2 still holds the crown for worst sequel though.

Pssh. Highlander 2 isn't even the worst Highlander sequel.

Yes it was. It did the worst possible thing - it shattered the foundation of the story - making the immortals into alien prisoners is stupid on the level of mitichlorians.

I repeat:

[www.nanarland.com image 405x598]


That was just beating the dead horse. Highlander 2 killed it.
 
2013-01-12 07:35:15 PM

FeedTheCollapse: AnthraxRipple: Apparently the real sequel to A Christmas Story is really obscure:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It_Runs_in_the_Family_(1994_film)

It was mildly entertaining.

that looks much more interesting than the "official" sequel; though IMDB reviews of Christmas Story 2 seem surprisingly positive.


farkeruk: I never had a problem with "nuke the fridge" because it was about the most entertaining part of Crystal Skull. How do you make a movie where you have one of the best actresses alive playing the villain, and you can't remember a single thing that's entertaining that she did?

Yeah, it never occurred to me that the "Nuke the Fridge" part was any more ridiculous than other Indiana Jones scenes until I came here as well; ditto the complaints about the movie involving aliens, which always came off as some kind of annoying semantics debate about the plots of the previous movies. I think I was more annoyed that it kind of seemed like a half-assed torch-passing to Shia


That was my thought when I saw the movie. Honestly there isn't much wrong with the movie until they get to the jungles of Peru onward. Then you have scenes like the jeep chase, riding trees down cliffs, going over waterfalls, guardians that seem to have lived in walls for 1000 years, the British guy frigin quadruple crossing. It's just sillier and sillier with every scene.

I don't have a problem with the fridge or with Shia being his son, or with aliens (I mean come on, there was an immortal knight and spirit stones in the other ones, we're gonna say aliens was too ridiculous?). The problem with Indy 4 is that they had a huge opportunity and they CGI'd themselves to death.
 
2013-01-12 07:56:43 PM
don't know if it is a true sequel but christmas vacation 2, eddies island adventure is a true film of nothing but suck.
 
2013-01-12 08:35:34 PM
I keep telling people, quit doing that whole shop-worn "X movie sequel doesn't exist" thing that those with lesser imagination attempt. You grab hold of those crappy follow-ups, acknowledge they were created to the High Heavens, just so you can take them, and beat them over the head and upper body of those responsible for bringing them into this world. You pick that horrible continuation apart, bit by bit, and jam those pieces into every available orifice, so every producer, writer, director, and studio head involved might feel even a small modicum of pain, boredom, and total confusion they realeased unto the hard-working public. If we don't turn the trends around now, we will end up awarding Oscars to "ASS", or worse.
 
2013-01-12 09:04:22 PM
Hate to tell you, but with Honey Boo Boo and the rest of television, we're practically at 'Ass' right now.
 
2013-01-12 09:21:03 PM

cretinbob: Tyrone Slothrop: The thing that always bugged me about Thunderdome is they had the same actor who played the helicopter pilot in Road Warrior in it, but not as the same character. So for half the movie I was wondering why he and Max Max don't recognize each other.

See,  I always thought they were the same character and they did recognize each other. Also, the kid is the feral kid from II all cleaned up.


Wikipedia has this to say about that actor:

Spence is most known for his roles as the Gyro Captain in Mad Max 2 and as Jedediah the pilot in Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome

Sounds like they are indeed different characters. Oh, and I just discovered a 4th movie is on the way:

Mad Max: Fury Road

With Charlize Theron and Tom Hardy as Max.
 
2013-01-12 09:31:02 PM
This far in and no mention of Caddyshack 2?
That has to be an all time standard for bad sequels/movies in general.
 
2013-01-12 10:22:26 PM

FeedTheCollapse: BumpInTheNight: Ghost Busters 2

I didn't know people actively hated Ghostbusters 2 until I came to Fark. It's not nearly as good as the original, but it's not that bad.


This.
 
2013-01-12 11:28:56 PM
Lion King 2: Simba's Pride
Are you kidding? You lost all your pride.

Aladdin 2: Return of Jafar
Should've just stayed there.

Cinderella 2: Dreams come true
Just because it happened one time, Cinderelly.
 
2013-01-13 12:07:24 AM
giggaheim.com
 
2013-01-13 12:27:00 AM

FirstNationalBastard: Leave it to Beaver was ruined long before the sequel film.



I dunno, the 25th anniversary party was pretty good:

Leave it to Beaver 25th Anniversary Party
 
2013-01-13 02:31:45 AM
Since that book was talking MOSTLY about novels I wish to nominate "Logan's Search", the second sequel to the novel "Logan's Run". "Logan's Run" is a fine novel and "Logan's World" the first sequel is nearly as good. "Logan's Search" however is so stupid that it is hard to finish. Aliens abduct Logan and set him loose in an alternate universe where he takes up with a younger version of his wife Jessica! Stupid is perhaps too nice a description, Completely devoid of ideas, its like the author wasn't even trying..
 
2013-01-13 02:35:07 AM
I liked Highlander II

Terrible movie, but the premise (not the immortals==aliens part) that the apex of knowledge and ability strapped to one man who above all wishes to save and advance humanity ends with a world in darkness, depression and stagnant existence just seemed cool to me. Almost Shakespearean. Ok, I'm sorry I can't keep up this ruse anymore mygodhighlanderIIwasterribleineveryfarkingfacet.
 
2013-01-13 04:49:03 AM

swahnhennessy: Just saw King Kong Lives a few weeks ago as part of tradition my friend and I have of watching the worst movies we can think of/find. It fit the bill nicely. Boy, was it lousy.


Having appeared as an extra in King Kong Lives, I hope you enjoyed the badness as much as we enjoyed bringing it to you!

-Was part of the filming at Cades Cove (because a valley in Tennessee so closely resembles an island in the south Pacific); look for all of the "natives" who have watches on, and particularly how pale some of them look in the back of the crowd (two of them are me and my friend Frank, two SAG card holders getting drunk one day and deciding to check out this movie they were filming)
 
2013-01-13 04:57:44 AM

gunga galunga: HempHead: Worst sequel ever

"i've got a great idea. Let's make a sequel to The Sting without Robert Redford and Paul Newman."
"You're right. People will flock to it anyway. And when we're done with that, lets make a sequel to Grease without John Travolta or Olivia Newton John".


OK, I'm going to admit something I probably shouldn't: I actually liked The Sting 2 more than The Sting.

The sequel at least had enough double crosses and twists to keep you on your toes. I found the original movie to be completely predictable.
 
2013-01-13 07:52:16 AM
There can be only one:

cdn101.iofferphoto.com
/"ruined" doesn't quite do this pablum justice
 
2013-01-13 05:35:11 PM

fusillade762: Sounds like they are indeed different characters. Oh, and I just discovered a 4th movie is on the way:


Yeah, I watched both last night (I've recently seen Mad Max, so I skipped that one)  And they were indeed different characters. Which goes back to my original statement that Thunderdome farked a lot up.
I think the problem with Bruce Spence being in both with similar roles is that the time frame would have had the feral kid grow up that much. But that's a big "fark you"
Thunderdome was a sanitized, big budget production that spent more money of Mel and Tina's hair than it did on the things that make a Mad Max movie, which is basically cars and explosions.
Yeah I posted about Fury Road above. Some good pictures, not many though, out there. It's in post now and should be out close to the end of the year.
 
2013-01-13 09:56:26 PM

cretinbob: fusillade762: Sounds like they are indeed different characters. Oh, and I just discovered a 4th movie is on the way:

Yeah, I watched both last night (I've recently seen Mad Max, so I skipped that one) And they were indeed different characters. Which goes back to my original statement that Thunderdome farked a lot up.


The two Bruce Spence characters are twin brothers whose parents taught them aviation at an early age.

Yes, I totally made that up. If this was Marvel comics, they'd send me a No Prize.
 
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