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(Cracked)   5 little-known sequels that ruined iconic stories. 'A Christmas Story 2' strangely absent   (cracked.com) divider line 102
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10092 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 12 Jan 2013 at 10:25 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-12 07:29:33 AM
Leave it to Beaver was ruined long before the sequel film.

/And Eddie Haskell's stint as John Holmes didn't help matters.
 
2013-01-12 08:37:55 AM
"A Christmas Story 2" is something parents tell their children about, in order to scare them into going to bed and leaving them alone long enough to maybe have sex once a month. It is an abomination, not a sequel, and thus not fit to be on this list.
 
2013-01-12 09:05:15 AM
Ghost Busters 2, Predator, Starwars '1-3', twilight, the list goes on and on.
 
2013-01-12 09:10:42 AM
Now that I think about "Leave i to Beaver" I think how cruel his parents were.  The kid has buck teeth so instead of fixing them, let's give him a nickname that highlights an aspect that he is likely going to be insecure about.  It's like the Griffins picking on Meg.
 
2013-01-12 09:11:07 AM
www.nextmovie.com
 
2013-01-12 09:26:18 AM

MmmmBacon: "A Christmas Story 2" is something parents tell their children about, in order to scare them into going to bed and leaving them alone long enough to maybe have sex once a month. It is an abomination, not a sequel, and thus not fit to be on this list.


"A Christmas Story 2" never happened. Just like how The Matrix had no sequels, Rocky never fought Tommy Gunn and Nursing Home Honeys IV: Gang Bingo? Gang BANGO wasn't laden with continuity errors.
 
2013-01-12 10:21:10 AM
media.screened.com

Hey Legend, how's the continuing going?
 
2013-01-12 10:28:09 AM

EvilEgg: Now that I think about "Leave i to Beaver" I think how cruel his parents were.  The kid has buck teeth so instead of fixing them, let's give him a nickname that highlights an aspect that he is likely going to be insecure about.  It's like the Griffins picking on Meg.


Ward always was hard on the beaver.
 
2013-01-12 10:29:04 AM
I don't think a bad sequel "ruins" a movie, because you just pretend that they don't exist.

Take The Terminator, for example.  I think the first two are a really perfect pair of movies.  The first one is awesome, and then the second really builds on it and then wraps up the story nicely.

The movies that came after that sucked ass, and stretched the story out until it broke.  And the TV show wasn't all that great either.  But you don't have to watch those.  Just watch the first two.
 
2013-01-12 10:35:22 AM

BumpInTheNight: Ghost Busters 2, Predator, Starwars '1-3', twilight, the list goes on and on.


Yup, those sure are some lesser known sequels....
 
2013-01-12 10:43:14 AM
Just saw King Kong Lives a few weeks ago as part of tradition my friend and I have of watching the worst movies we can think of/find. It fit the bill nicely. Boy, was it lousy.
 
2013-01-12 11:00:17 AM

cretinbob: [www.nextmovie.com image 300x220]


Bite your tongue!

Two men enter, one man leave!!!
 
2013-01-12 11:14:25 AM
Remember all those shiatty scripts for Alien movies after Aliens? Good thing people never made any, or they would have made this list.
 
2013-01-12 11:17:30 AM
The new Galactica. Hearing how they were making crap up on the fly. I'm a Cylon, you're a Cylon, OMG he's a Cylon too, and God's a Cylon. Or God.

I'll catch flak, but what a huge, grinding POS that show was. But wait, I'll mask the poor writing with jerky camera and rack the focus for emotional punctuation.

Agree with Ghostbusters II, Star Wars 1-3, Hmm, the Undiscovered Country, Nemesis, Cannonball Run 2 and 3.

Oh Crap. Highlander II.
 
2013-01-12 11:21:14 AM
I didn't know Christmas Story 2 existed until like 2 weeks ago. The kid playing Ralphie was obviously a dark-haired kid dyed blonde; they didn't even bother hiding his roots!
 
2013-01-12 11:22:48 AM

Znuh: The new Galactica. Hearing how they were making crap up on the fly. I'm a Cylon, you're a Cylon, OMG he's a Cylon too, and God's a Cylon. Or God.

I'll catch flak, but what a huge, grinding POS that show was. But wait, I'll mask the poor writing with jerky camera and rack the focus for emotional punctuation.

Agree with Ghostbusters II, Star Wars 1-3, Hmm, the Undiscovered Country, Nemesis, Cannonball Run 2 and 3.

Oh Crap. Highlander II.


And Highl....dammit!
 
2013-01-12 11:25:18 AM

BumpInTheNight: Ghost Busters 2


I didn't know people actively hated Ghostbusters 2 until I came to Fark. It's not nearly as good as the original, but it's not that bad.
 
2013-01-12 11:30:54 AM
also:

i.crackedcdn.com

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-01-12 11:33:29 AM

enry: And Highl....dammit!


HIghlander II really wins for taking something and utterly, catastrophically ruining the franchise.
 
2013-01-12 11:40:56 AM

Znuh: The new Galactica. Hearing how they were making crap up on the fly. I'm a Cylon, you're a Cylon, OMG he's a Cylon too, and God's a Cylon. Or God.

I'll catch flak, but what a huge, grinding POS that show was. But wait, I'll mask the poor writing with jerky camera and rack the focus for emotional punctuation.

Agree with Ghostbusters II, Star Wars 1-3, Hmm, the Undiscovered Country, Nemesis, Cannonball Run 2 and 3.

Oh Crap. Highlander II.



IndianaGeriatric Jones
 
2013-01-12 11:43:04 AM
The wrath of Khan
 
2013-01-12 11:46:21 AM

sirbissel: IndianaGeriatric Jones


Wow. I totally blocked out both Temple of Doom and Crystal Skull.

t3.gstatic.com
 
2013-01-12 11:47:51 AM
Subby, the movie you said was "strangely absent" is missing from the list because it is never to be mentioned...ever. It is to be understood that said movie was never created and we are to smile and carry on with our lives.
 
2013-01-12 11:47:56 AM

FeedTheCollapse: BumpInTheNight: Ghost Busters 2

I didn't know people actively hated Ghostbusters 2 until I came to Fark. It's not nearly as good as the original, but it's not that bad.


I like it. Sure, it's nowhere near the classic of the first one, but it's still a fun movie. Vigo was a great, cheesy villain.
 
2013-01-12 12:11:37 PM

Guns n' Farkin Roses: cretinbob: [www.nextmovie.com image 300x220]

Bite your tongue!

Two men enter, one man leave!!!


too damn shiny too....80's.
It's not a bad movie, but compared to the other two...Maybe I just need to watch it again.
Let's see if Fury Road brings it back home.

wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net
 
2013-01-12 12:12:05 PM

Znuh: The new Galactica. Hearing how they were making crap up on the fly. I'm a Cylon, you're a Cylon, OMG he's a Cylon too, and God's a Cylon. Or God.

I'll catch flak, but what a huge, grinding POS that show was. But wait, I'll mask the poor writing with jerky camera and rack the focus for emotional punctuation.

Agree with Ghostbusters II, Star Wars 1-3, Hmm, the Undiscovered Country, Nemesis, Cannonball Run 2 and 3.

Oh Crap. Highlander II.


The sad thing is that Highlander II isn't the worst Highlander sequel. Not by a long shot.

www.tvshowsondvd.com

www.nanarland.com
 
2013-01-12 12:13:15 PM

NeoCortex42: FeedTheCollapse: BumpInTheNight: Ghost Busters 2

I didn't know people actively hated Ghostbusters 2 until I came to Fark. It's not nearly as good as the original, but it's not that bad.

I like it. Sure, it's nowhere near the classic of the first one, but it's still a fun movie. Vigo was a great, cheesy villain.


I agree with that. It was a good movie, just perpetually in the shadow of the original.
 
2013-01-12 12:24:20 PM

Znuh: Wow. I totally blocked out both Temple of Doom and Crystal Skull.


ToD is OK. It ain't great, but it ain't terrible.

The problem with Crystal Skull is that it's lifeless. Look deep into their eyes, and everyone is just going through the motions to get a paycheque. For all its faults, ToD doesn't feel like that. If nothing else, Mola Ram is awesome.
 
2013-01-12 12:28:02 PM
Ollie Hopnoodle's Haven of Bliss will always be my "Christmas Story 2"
 
2013-01-12 12:33:03 PM

farkeruk: Znuh: Wow. I totally blocked out both Temple of Doom and Crystal Skull.

ToD is OK. It ain't great, but it ain't terrible.

The problem with Crystal Skull is that it's lifeless. Look deep into their eyes, and everyone is just going through the motions to get a paycheque. For all its faults, ToD doesn't feel like that. If nothing else, Mola Ram is awesome.


I've always thought it somewhat odd that Crystal Skull gets shat on but Temple of Doom gets a pass from Indiana Jones fans. ToD has some good moments, but it's pretty damn cheesy in spots and has an annoying female lead. That's not to imply Crystal Skull was a good movie, but it's not like the series didn't have its faults before that...
 
2013-01-12 12:39:02 PM

jake_lex: I don't think a bad sequel "ruins" a movie, because you just pretend that they don't exist.



I will disagree with that statement using "Exorcist II: The Heretic" as an example.  This movie's lame story actually made the first Exorcist film less scary.  All the stuff about psychic healing and the weak b-list demon that apparently had none of the powers it had in the first film, just made the ENTIRE STORY less harrowing.

And, yes, you're correct that one could pretend that the sequels simply don't exist but we see--and are excited about--the sequels because something in the original movie affected us on certain levels.  We identify with the characters or their experiences and want to see what will happen to them next.  So we see crappy sequels and then learn that what has been seen . . .

Just my $.02.
 
2013-01-12 12:39:21 PM

FeedTheCollapse: I've always thought it somewhat odd that Crystal Skull gets shat on but Temple of Doom gets a pass from Indiana Jones fans. ToD has some good moments, but it's pretty damn cheesy in spots and has an annoying female lead. That's not to imply Crystal Skull was a good movie, but it's not like the series didn't have its faults before that...


Temple of Doom brought us chilled monkey brains and snake surprise, both of which have been favorite meals at my house ever since.
 
2013-01-12 12:48:17 PM
@HeartBurnKid

Oh my God: Highlander: The Source. o___O

You know, I'm a big Highlander fan and I have absolutely no taste. I love the series, I find Highlander II hilarious for some reason. Highlander IV almost gave me a heartattack at the cinema with the suck, but I got over it. Totally zen. I mean, there is nothing bad fanfiction can't repair.

So when people started to talk shiat about "The Source" I was like: Yeah, whatever. How bad can it be? I've weathered everything HL so far. And then I saw it on the telly and I don't think I'll ever recover.

They actually filmed the worst harlequin romance novel fantasy/mystery brand script they could find and put the HL lable on it. If the actors were that hard up for cash, I would have preferd some straight up porn to be honest (or even the gay kind, I'm not picky).

/but don't we all here
//prefer porn that is
///css
 
2013-01-12 12:48:59 PM
I think ToD is something of a childhood / Adolescent litmus.

My problem with ToD is that, for the most part, Raiders is taken as a 'real' movie, with a few chunks of cartoony bits thrown in. It doesn't make fun at itself constantly, nor is it a stereotype.

Lucas seems to suffer from 'a little worked, let's twist the dial off on the next one.' when it comes to taking excellent prior work and turning it into a caricature. We went from characters we could believe in Raiders, to:

*The crap that was the female lead
*Short Round (Possibly Jar-Jar in a very early iteration)
*Flying out of an airplane in a rubber raft, down a mountain, down, down, down...sigh. Down.
*More horrible with Thugees, etc.

It became a parody of all of the elements in Raiders. He throttled it back for the first half of Crusade, but then we get cartoony Nazis and the whole thing falls apart. I won't even begin to bring up the awful that was Crystal Skull.

My Father said the same. "How could they take such an excellent first movie and ruin it by turning the characters into a parody?"

So, Raiders = Awesome, ToD was a cargo-culted caricature, a cartoon all the way through. Crusade, started with the solidity of Raiders, then Lucas falls back into ToD halfway through. By the time Skull gets around, man, Franchise Dead.
 
2013-01-12 01:00:12 PM
Bullshiat! King Kong lives was a shiatty sequel to a shiatty remake. Son of Kong, one of the first sequels in movie history is a shiatty sequel.

I disagree with mentioning things like Ghostbusters 2 and Predator 2, those were average sequels to GREAT movies... when the original is amazing, it is tough to measure up.
 
2013-01-12 01:02:59 PM

HeartBurnKid: Znuh: The new Galactica. Hearing how they were making crap up on the fly. I'm a Cylon, you're a Cylon, OMG he's a Cylon too, and God's a Cylon. Or God.

I'll catch flak, but what a huge, grinding POS that show was. But wait, I'll mask the poor writing with jerky camera and rack the focus for emotional punctuation.

Agree with Ghostbusters II, Star Wars 1-3, Hmm, the Undiscovered Country, Nemesis, Cannonball Run 2 and 3.

Oh Crap. Highlander II.

The sad thing is that Highlander II isn't the worst Highlander sequel. Not by a long shot.

[www.tvshowsondvd.com image 400x645]

[www.nanarland.com image 405x598]


I've at least been able to sit through Highlander II a couple of times. It's bad, but it's more of a "crappy B-movie" bad. Highlander: The Source, I couldn't even make it halfway through when it aired on television. The effects were distractingly bad, and the movie was just so incredibly boring.

I've never seen the renegade cut of Highlander II, but I've heard it at least makes it a more tolerable movie.
 
2013-01-12 01:19:07 PM
Apparently the real sequel to A Christmas Story is really obscure:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It_Runs_in_the_Family_(1994_film)

It was mildly entertaining.
 
2013-01-12 01:21:29 PM
Look what you've all done.

Now I'm remembering walking out of The Crow, Part II

Also The Howling, Pt. II. I can't remember if that was the one with Marsupial werewolves.
 
2013-01-12 01:23:19 PM
I sorta, kinda liked Christmas Story 2...

/yes, I am bad and I should feel bad.
 
2013-01-12 01:23:37 PM
I hate everything! And that one thing I hate was never made so stop talking about it!
 
2013-01-12 01:25:01 PM

Mawson of the Antarctic: Ollie Hopnoodle's Haven of Bliss will always be my "Christmas Story 2"


The first I heard of a sequel to Xmas story being bad, I prepared to leap to the defense of Ollie hopnoodle
 
2013-01-12 01:26:41 PM
Glad they did not include the incredible sequel to Breakin'.... the world needs more Electric Boogaloo.
 
2013-01-12 01:28:06 PM
Worst sequel ever
www.joblo.com
 
2013-01-12 01:30:36 PM

FeedTheCollapse: farkeruk: Znuh: Wow. I totally blocked out both Temple of Doom and Crystal Skull.

ToD is OK. It ain't great, but it ain't terrible.

The problem with Crystal Skull is that it's lifeless. Look deep into their eyes, and everyone is just going through the motions to get a paycheque. For all its faults, ToD doesn't feel like that. If nothing else, Mola Ram is awesome.

I've always thought it somewhat odd that Crystal Skull gets shat on but Temple of Doom gets a pass from Indiana Jones fans. ToD has some good moments, but it's pretty damn cheesy in spots and has an annoying female lead. That's not to imply Crystal Skull was a good movie, but it's not like the series didn't have its faults before that...


Name a scene in KOCS as good as the Club Obi Wan scene or the bridge scene in ToD
 
2013-01-12 01:37:21 PM
The Halloween sequels. It was much scarier when Michael Meyers started terrorizing Laurie by picking her at random when she dropped the keys off at the old house. All this "long lost sister" crap that was retconned on when they made Halloween 2 undid a lot for me. Especially the footage that Carpenter shot later and edited into the first movie.
 
2013-01-12 01:39:48 PM

Europos: @HeartBurnKid

Oh my God: Highlander: The Source. o___O

You know, I'm a big Highlander fan and I have absolutely no taste. I love the series, I find Highlander II hilarious for some reason. Highlander IV almost gave me a heartattack at the cinema with the suck, but I got over it. Totally zen. I mean, there is nothing bad fanfiction can't repair.

So when people started to talk shiat about "The Source" I was like: Yeah, whatever. How bad can it be? I've weathered everything HL so far. And then I saw it on the telly and I don't think I'll ever recover.

They actually filmed the worst harlequin romance novel fantasy/mystery brand script they could find and put the HL lable on it. If the actors were that hard up for cash, I would have preferd some straight up porn to be honest (or even the gay kind, I'm not picky).

/but don't we all here
//prefer porn that is
///css


I think the worst thing about The Source is that it even manages to ruin the soundtrack from the first movie. If you've ever wanted to know what "Princes of the Universe" and "Who Wants to Live Forever" would sound like coming from the shiattiest cover band in the world, Highlander: The Source is your movie.
 
2013-01-12 01:42:56 PM

gunga galunga: The Halloween sequels. It was much scarier when Michael Meyers started terrorizing Laurie by picking her at random when she dropped the keys off at the old house. All this "long lost sister" crap that was retconned on when they made Halloween 2 undid a lot for me. Especially the footage that Carpenter shot later and edited into the first movie.


WTF are you smoking, Michael Myers was ALWAYS her brother... if you are talking about another retcon, please elaborate.
 
2013-01-12 01:43:54 PM

HempHead: Worst sequel ever


"i've got a great idea. Let's make a sequel to The Sting without Robert Redford and Paul Newman."
"You're right. People will flock to it anyway. And when we're done with that, lets make a sequel to Grease without John Travolta or Olivia Newton John".
 
2013-01-12 01:46:26 PM

jeffjo52: gunga galunga: The Halloween sequels. It was much scarier when Michael Meyers started terrorizing Laurie by picking her at random when she dropped the keys off at the old house. All this "long lost sister" crap that was retconned on when they made Halloween 2 undid a lot for me. Especially the footage that Carpenter shot later and edited into the first movie.

WTF are you smoking, Michael Myers was ALWAYS her brother... if you are talking about another retcon, please elaborate.


Watch the original cut of the original Halloween. Find one reference to Laurie being Michael Meyers sister and get back to me.
 
2013-01-12 01:52:28 PM

gunga galunga: Watch the original cut of the original Halloween. Find one reference to Laurie being Michael Meyers sister and get back to me.


My mistake, mixed up plots from the remake and original/sequels and realized it about 2 secs after submitting. 'sall good
 
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