If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The Raw Story)   The United States is in the middle of three epidemics right now - flu, whooping cough and 'winter vomiting disease'   (rawstory.com) divider line 94
    More: Scary, norovirus, United States, whooping cough, stomach virus, epidemics, infectious diseases, Anthony Fauci, winter vomiting  
•       •       •

7777 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jan 2013 at 3:00 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



94 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-01-11 09:56:51 PM  
www.80stees.com
 
2013-01-12 12:00:17 AM  
, influenza, whooping cough and norovirus

I've had the flu and Norovirus.  I'll take the flu every time.
 
2013-01-12 12:21:59 AM  
zombies man, it's the start of zombie apocalypse!
 
2013-01-12 12:27:37 AM  
And people laugh at the basement dwellers!
 
2013-01-12 01:13:47 AM  
I haven't had a jab in years, as long as Mom sends the cheese sandwiches downstairs on time, I'm immune.
 
2013-01-12 01:53:47 AM  
No captain tripps yet.  I just got over....something  What they call it doesn't matter  It was eight days of I don't like food and why does it sound like I'm peeing while I poop.  Hope this word picture takes you back to that toilet bowl nightmare you hoped to forget.
 
2013-01-12 02:27:47 AM  
Let's give the Anti-Vaxxers a hand. Without their efforts, none of this would be possible!

i410.photobucket.com

/Fun Fact: Summer's right around the corner, and as is tradition, Polio now has a strong foothold in Africa and the East again thanks to the efforts of Anti-vaxxers.
//Herd Immunity is a real important thing, people.
 
2013-01-12 03:02:16 AM  
Wife's a doctor, and her hospitals have been full of flu people. She's required to get a flu shot, but I've never had one in my life. Rather just be sick for a few days every few years.
 
2013-01-12 03:07:39 AM  
Jenny McCarthy deserves a Nobel Prize for this.

No, wait, not a Nobel Prize, what's that other one... Oh yeah, a punch to the face.
 
2013-01-12 03:09:22 AM  

Fluorescent Testicle: No, wait, not a Nobel Prize, what's that other one..


upload.wikimedia.org 


Jenny McCarthy won it in 2008 for being a crank.
 
2013-01-12 03:12:55 AM  

BronyMedic: Jenny McCarthy won it in 2008 for being a crank.


As a longtime fan of Randi: How the fark have I never heard about the Pigasus Awards before now? HAH. Excellent.
 
2013-01-12 03:13:38 AM  
I've got an ear infection. Constantly bucking the trends, that's me.

/I had whooping cough before it was an epidemic.
//And some other stuff but you probably haven't heard of any of them.
 
2013-01-12 03:14:25 AM  
i.imgur.com

/It isn't serious until you've shat a weasel.
 
2013-01-12 03:15:46 AM  
The last time I had the flu, it was nine hours of explosions followed by a day and a half of being sore and fatigued. Bring it.
 
2013-01-12 03:17:34 AM  

The My Little Pony Killer: The last time I had the flu, it was nine hours of explosions followed by a day and a half of being sore and fatigued. Bring it.


Are you sure you're not mistaking playing Ace Combat 6?
 
2013-01-12 03:17:41 AM  

Badgers: [i.imgur.com image 764x1024]

/It isn't serious until you've shat a weasel.


Am I going to die?
 
2013-01-12 03:19:32 AM  

BronyMedic: The My Little Pony Killer: The last time I had the flu, it was nine hours of explosions followed by a day and a half of being sore and fatigued. Bring it.

Are you sure you're not mistaking playing Ace Combat 6?


Quite sure. And if I ever find the idiot who decided to cart around her sick infant (who I caught it from) I'm going to give her a good hard punch to the uterus.
 
2013-01-12 03:20:24 AM  
The "winter vomiting disease" recently hit my family. No es bueno. Sidelined me for the better part of a week.
 
2013-01-12 03:20:44 AM  
Attention Anti-Vaxxers:

Die in a farking fire.

Thank you. That is all.
 
2013-01-12 03:21:59 AM  

Badgers: [i.imgur.com image 764x1024]

/It isn't serious until you've shat a weasel.


"Why, Badgers. Why did you let Richard Gere play with me?"

You can almost see the look of horrific betrail in his eyes.
 
2013-01-12 03:24:20 AM  

The My Little Pony Killer: The last time I had the flu, it was nine hours of explosions followed by a day and a half of being sore and fatigued. Bring it.


sounds like food poisoning to me.


i shall stay in my cave of solitude safe from the nasty bugs, shop at night or early morning (w/medmask) and lurk fark comments. oh what a life we lead
 
2013-01-12 03:25:02 AM  
I tend to get over most ailments in record time. I spent three days not eating and barfing up the sugar water I forced down my throat. Average flu-related sick time at work is verging on 2 weeks, and the loss of enough weight that the girls I work with have become skeletal in appearance. It took out the assistant manager and her husband, and the other person in my department is out sick too.

/8 hours and no breaks today
//probably the same tomorrow
///least the Broncos are playing, so it should be relatively dead
 
2013-01-12 03:25:19 AM  

Weaver95: zombies man, it's the start of zombie apocalypse!


braaaaaaains

No seriously. I need brains. Ive had this ghastly flu for over 2 weeks now and I desperately have to study but my head is full of goo.
 
2013-01-12 03:27:02 AM  
Flu: get vaccinated. Reduces risk >60%
Whooping cough: get vaccinated. Reduces risk >80%
Norovirus:ffffffark (I teach and live with 3 kids who go to 3 different schools. It's a rare winter day when someone ISN'T coughing, sneezing, fevering and/or vomiting.)
 
2013-01-12 03:27:11 AM  
I've been a bit stuffy, and have had a stuff neck, which happens to me when I'm getting sick. But I just consider that par for winter, really.

I don't want that vomiting shiat, flu is doable.

/you too have awoken at least once with your head stuck in the taco eating position.
 
2013-01-12 03:28:13 AM  

ThreeFootSmurf: The My Little Pony Killer: The last time I had the flu, it was nine hours of explosions followed by a day and a half of being sore and fatigued. Bring it.

sounds like food poisoning to me.


i shall stay in my cave of solitude safe from the nasty bugs, shop at night or early morning (w/medmask) and lurk fark comments. oh what a life we lead


It was like no case of food poisoning I'd ever had then. All flu symptoms, all the way.
 
2013-01-12 03:28:33 AM  

robohobo: Wife's a doctor, and her hospitals have been full of flu people. She's required to get a flu shot, but I've never had one in my life. Rather just be sick for a few days every few years.


Flu shots take a very short amount of time, are cheap if not free, and relatively painless. If you ever have real flu (many people confuse a normal cold or stomach trouble for flu), I bet you'll not hesitate in the future.
 
2013-01-12 03:33:32 AM  
Haven't caught flu or whooping cough yet.

I did catch the vomiting disease (norovirus). Horrible 24 hours.
 
2013-01-12 03:34:35 AM  
4th Epidemic: Irrational fear of firearms.
 
2013-01-12 03:35:14 AM  

incrdbil: robohobo: Wife's a doctor, and her hospitals have been full of flu people. She's required to get a flu shot, but I've never had one in my life. Rather just be sick for a few days every few years.

Flu shots take a very short amount of time, are cheap if not free, and relatively painless. If you ever have real flu (many people confuse a normal cold or stomach trouble for flu), I bet you'll not hesitate in the future.


Oh, I've had the real flu, and we haven't paid for anything medical since she became a doctor.
 
2013-01-12 03:48:02 AM  
18 kids dead from the flu, huh? Still hasn't broken the Sandy Hook high score.

Flu doesn't kill people. People kill people.
 
2013-01-12 03:51:09 AM  
Working in the ER right now is hell. We haven't had a quiet day in over a month. Usually it's only one or two really busy days a week, and the rest is fairly slow. Now, though, it's backed up every day. Doesn't help that the Primary Care doctors are all completely booked a week ahead right now and impatient people can't wait a few days for an appointment, because they need their antibiotics RIGHT NOW and then get pissy when we tell them that they don't do anything for viruses now would you please shut up so I can go help the guy who is having a heart attack down the hall.
 
2013-01-12 03:55:23 AM  

Mock26: 4th Epidemic: Irrational fear of firearms.


Why is it irrational to be afraid of dangerous things? Call me crazy but I have an irrational fear of saltwater crocodiles. Keeps me safe.
 
2013-01-12 03:55:29 AM  

incrdbil: robohobo: Wife's a doctor, and her hospitals have been full of flu people. She's required to get a flu shot, but I've never had one in my life. Rather just be sick for a few days every few years.

Flu shots take a very short amount of time, are cheap if not free, and relatively painless. If you ever have real flu (many people confuse a normal cold or stomach trouble for flu), I bet you'll not hesitate in the future.


I'm required to get a flu shot, but I can't because of a severe allergy to eggs (that's what they incubate the viruses in). I've had the real flu, and it sucks, but trust me when I say that it doesn't suck nearly as much as anaphylaxis brought on from injecting an allergen directly into my bloodstream.
 
2013-01-12 03:58:44 AM  

neongoats: I've been a bit stuffy, and have had a stuff neck, which happens to me when I'm getting sick. But I just consider that par for winter, really.

I don't want that vomiting shiat, flu is doable.

/you too have awoken at least once with your head stuck in the taco eating position.


Flu is not 'doable'. You have to stay home, and rest. Sniffles, sneezing and a fever is not 'the flu'. If you do have the flu and 'tough it out' and go to school or work, you are being selfish for infecting other people, delaying your recovery for not resting..and the work you do sucks, because you simply can't work as well if you are sick
 
2013-01-12 04:02:01 AM  
Call me grouchy. Too many people in my old office wanted to prove they are 'essential' by always coming in, no matter how damn sick they were, then shared their illness with everyone.
 
2013-01-12 04:27:41 AM  
The United States is in the middle of three an epidemics right now - flu, whooping cough and 'winter vomiting disease' excuses for alcoholism.
 
2013-01-12 04:28:40 AM  

Lsherm: , influenza, whooping cough and norovirus

I've had the flu and Norovirus.  I'll take the flu every time.


So True.

I got it this year and thought my body was literally shutting down.
Crazy bug: it hits within a couple of hours; makes it so you can't stand or even sit up without using all your energy; fever, spewing out of every orifice...seriously: the shiattiest I remember feeling in the past few years.
Weird though...two days and it goes away as quickly as it appears.
 
2013-01-12 04:29:04 AM  

incrdbil: neongoats: I've been a bit stuffy, and have had a stuff neck, which happens to me when I'm getting sick. But I just consider that par for winter, really.

I don't want that vomiting shiat, flu is doable.

/you too have awoken at least once with your head stuck in the taco eating position.

Flu is not 'doable'. You have to stay home, and rest. Sniffles, sneezing and a fever is not 'the flu'. If you do have the flu and 'tough it out' and go to school or work, you are being selfish for infecting other people, delaying your recovery for not resting..and the work you do sucks, because you simply can't work as well if you are sick


Relax charmschool, take a deep breath and put down the purelle. Hint: most people don't have the luxury to take half a dozen days off any time they get some minor flu like symptoms.
 
2013-01-12 04:30:46 AM  

incrdbil: Call me grouchy. Too many people in my old office wanted to prove they are 'essential' by always coming in, no matter how damn sick they were, then shared their illness with everyone.


THIS. I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE people who don't stay the eff home when they're sick. They'll bawl and whine, "But I really need the money!" Well that's too bad! If you ever get yourself in a position where missing three days of work will send your finances into a death spiral, then you have bigger problems than just an illness. You should do something about your situation so you don't have to face an awful choice like this in the future.

And the rest of us need the money too! Why should WE have to suffer just to make life more convenient for YOU? Stop thinking only of yourself and STAY HOME WHEN YOU'RE SICK!!!!!
 
2013-01-12 04:41:44 AM  
I haven't had a vaccination, or a major illness, in 30+ years. I eat well and exercise.
 
2013-01-12 04:41:52 AM  

Mock26: 4th Epidemic: Irrational fear of firearms.


Ah, I knew someone would be in to herp this derp.

dividebyxero: Attention Anti-Vaxxers:

Die in a farking fire.

Thank you. That is all.


And this can't be said enough.
 
2013-01-12 04:42:13 AM  

ChewbaccaJones: Crazy bug: it hits within a couple of hours; makes it so you can't stand or even sit up without using all your energy; fever, spewing out of every orifice...seriously: the shiattiest I remember feeling in the past few years.


I'll just repeat my post from the last flu thread about Norovirus:

-------------------------------------------------------
I got Norovirus two years ago when it was going around Northern Virginia.  It's an illness so insidious I simultaneously threw up and shiat my pants in a Metro station and I had to be carried out on a gurney.

It is terrifying to be so sick you can't prevent yourself from shiatting your pants.  I prided myself up until that point that in my entire adult life, I had never vomited where I didn't want to, and I had never shiat my pants.  Then in one terrifying day, both records were shattered.  I felt fine in the morning and I was in the hospital that night.

I'd also like to eternally thank the group of teenagers who took pictures of me collapsed on the floor of the metro station, covered in puke, while helpfully pointing out "Dawg shiat himself!  Got shiat all over!"  That was helpful.  I really appreciate it.
 
2013-01-12 04:46:02 AM  

DrPainMD: I haven't had a vaccination, or a major illness, in 30+ years. I eat well and exercise.


So basically you got lucky.
 
2013-01-12 04:46:40 AM  

Lsherm: ChewbaccaJones: Crazy bug: it hits within a couple of hours; makes it so you can't stand or even sit up without using all your energy; fever, spewing out of every orifice...seriously: the shiattiest I remember feeling in the past few years.

I'll just repeat my post from the last flu thread about Norovirus:

-------------------------------------------------------
I got Norovirus two years ago when it was going around Northern Virginia.  It's an illness so insidious I simultaneously threw up and shiat my pants in a Metro station and I had to be carried out on a gurney.

It is terrifying to be so sick you can't prevent yourself from shiatting your pants.  I prided myself up until that point that in my entire adult life, I had never vomited where I didn't want to, and I had never shiat my pants.  Then in one terrifying day, both records were shattered.  I felt fine in the morning and I was in the hospital that night.

I'd also like to eternally thank the group of teenagers who took pictures of me collapsed on the floor of the metro station, covered in puke, while helpfully pointing out "Dawg shiat himself!  Got shiat all over!"  That was helpful.  I really appreciate it.


img.gawkerassets.com

/understands your underpants burrito
 
2013-01-12 05:01:23 AM  

Gordianus: Mock26: 4th Epidemic: Irrational fear of firearms.

Why is it irrational to be afraid of dangerous things? Call me crazy but I have an irrational fear of saltwater crocodiles. Keeps me safe.


So, you are afraid of knives, too? And baseball bats? And cars?

Guns are not dangerous. A gun by itself will not shoot any one or rob a bank or anything else. It will just sit there and do absolutely nothing. Until someone picks it up. And even then it is not dangerous, unless someone uses it in a dangerous manner. And guess what? There are 100+ million gun owners who own 270+ million guns in this country, and every single day nearly every single one of them never does anything dangerous or illegal with them. Statistically speaking guns are extremely safe.
 
2013-01-12 05:18:36 AM  

neongoats: incrdbil: neongoats: I've been a bit stuffy, and have had a stuff neck, which happens to me when I'm getting sick. But I just consider that par for winter, really.

I don't want that vomiting shiat, flu is doable.

/you too have awoken at least once with your head stuck in the taco eating position.

Flu is not 'doable'. You have to stay home, and rest. Sniffles, sneezing and a fever is not 'the flu'. If you do have the flu and 'tough it out' and go to school or work, you are being selfish for infecting other people, delaying your recovery for not resting..and the work you do sucks, because you simply can't work as well if you are sick

Relax charmschool, take a deep breath and put down the purelle. Hint: most people don't have the luxury to take half a dozen days off any time they get some minor flu like symptoms.


This. If I get sick when my vacation time rolls in, I'm golden. Otherwise, I'll be kissing Saint Pepto for a couple weeks. Sadly, or perhaps thankfully, the former never happens, because that's in August.
 
2013-01-12 05:28:08 AM  
Been sick with something since 12/31 myself, but since I have contact with few people on the 3rd shift, I've kept working anyway. Not feeling too bad now, but other people wince when I cough, and either the sickness or the medicine seems to be making me more nearsighted. Not too bad, just hard to read anything over 12 feet away, but if I took my glasses off, it's down to about 6 inches. Just tired eyes or something.

My grandmothers got pneumonia, one of them is out of the hospital and visiting us, the other is nearly 95, fell last week, and hasn't eaten or drunk anything in a week. We're surprised she's still here, but expecting her to go any day now.
 
2013-01-12 05:47:37 AM  

Lsherm: ChewbaccaJones: Crazy bug: it hits within a couple of hours; makes it so you can't stand or even sit up without using all your energy; fever, spewing out of every orifice...seriously: the shiattiest I remember feeling in the past few years.

I'll just repeat my post from the last flu thread about Norovirus:

-------------------------------------------------------
I got Norovirus two years ago when it was going around Northern Virginia.  It's an illness so insidious I simultaneously threw up and shiat my pants in a Metro station and I had to be carried out on a gurney.

It is terrifying to be so sick you can't prevent yourself from shiatting your pants.  I prided myself up until that point that in my entire adult life, I had never vomited where I didn't want to, and I had never shiat my pants.  Then in one terrifying day, both records were shattered.  I felt fine in the morning and I was in the hospital that night.


Ouch. That is brutal.
I keep hearing about the flu this year, but the norovirus is not getting much exposure but it seems to be really pervasive and especially brutal.. Just of the people I know of:

I got it.
My wife (two weeks later...probably got it from the kids' doctor's office)
My father (who lives in another state)
My daughter (probably got it at the doctor's office)
My neighbor's mother (who none of us had any contact with) - She was taken away in an ambulance.


Then I turn on the news and hear about Hillary Clinton's head injury due to dehydration from a "sickness"


...I keep hearing about the flu on the news...but I wonder how prevalent this horrible norovirus is.,

I'd also like to eternally thank the group of teenagers who took pictures of me collapsed on the floor of the metro station, covered in puke, while helpfully pointing out "Dawg shiat himself!  Got shiat all over!"  That was helpful.  I really appreciate it.

 
2013-01-12 05:59:40 AM  
I'd also like to eternally thank the group of teenagers who took pictures of me collapsed on the floor of the metro station, covered in puke, while helpfully pointing out "Dawg shiat himself!  Got shiat all over!"  That was helpful.  I really appreciate it.

On nice thought is that anyone likely to be close enough to take photos has a very high chance of catching the virus too.
 
Displayed 50 of 94 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report