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(Yahoo)   DHS advises everybody to disable Java immediately. Purple alert   ( divider line
    More: Scary, Department of Homeland Security, Java, DHS advises, computer users, hacking attacks, Redwood Shores, web application, Sun Microsystems  
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24503 clicks; posted to Geek » on 11 Jan 2013 at 8:29 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-01-11 08:34:32 PM  
6 votes:

Jon iz teh kewl: and anyone with an Android phone, throw them away

Anyone without an Android Phone should secure a weapon and fire wildly into the air.
2013-01-11 08:32:53 PM  
4 votes:
and anyone with an Android phone, throw them away
2013-01-12 12:34:03 AM  
3 votes:
I honestly don't know what the hell any of this means.

I turn on the magic box, it shows me porn, I'm happy.
2013-01-11 09:27:26 PM  
3 votes:
What Larry Ellison's yacht, running Java, may look like.
i79.photobucket.comView Full Size
2013-01-11 08:44:44 PM  
3 votes:
Meh.  I did Java for a bit, and then switched to C# when I changed jobs.  It seems like it could be a lot cleaner, only I can't figure out how to get the C# assemblies out of debug and into the coffee grinder, and all those dang '=>' parts of lambda functions keep choking up my milk steamer.  I may be doing something wrong.
2013-01-12 03:12:03 AM  
2 votes:
Never, ever, EVER enable the java plugin in your browser. How farking stupid are you? It's like having unprotected anal sex in Haiti (Bad Idea Jeans(TM)). The whole thing is a festering pile of zero-days (and negative-days) and has been for years.

Feel free to use it for Minecraft or Jdownloader, but never let it run anything in your browser, where the russkies can easily do a driveby, and you don't have a dashcam.
2013-01-11 09:42:12 PM  
2 votes:
Dear God! The terrorists are going after the PR0N!!! O_O
2013-01-11 09:24:06 PM  
2 votes:
I just threw my PC down the garbage disposal. Was that the correct course of action?
2013-01-11 09:12:17 PM  
2 votes:
Meanwhile, .NET Framework wuvs you.
2013-01-11 09:09:29 PM  
2 votes:
Nee Java no badda
Nee chaade su goodie
2013-01-11 09:08:56 PM  
2 votes:

DownDaRiver: When I turn off Java I get this message from Fark
"Please turn on JavaScript for a better user experience"

You might notice that these words are different...
2013-01-11 08:36:57 PM  
2 votes:
I thought Java purposely released so many micro updates with its unstoppable auto-update bug that hackers had to deal with too many different versions for it to be worthwhile. I guess they're just dicks.
2013-01-11 08:36:03 PM  
2 votes:
Why do they want me to unplug my coffee machine?
2013-01-11 08:30:16 PM  
2 votes:
What does Fedex think.
2013-01-12 07:11:21 PM  
1 vote: Full Size
2013-01-12 12:17:39 AM  
1 vote:
UPDATE: Latest CERT advisory here, exploit details here, backstory here.
2013-01-11 11:41:29 PM  
1 vote:
Goddamn it. I was supposed to fly to Jakarta tomorrow.
2013-01-11 11:39:46 PM  
1 vote:
I bet there IS NO security threat...just the Feds' technogeeks noticed there MIGHT BE a potential risk, and upper management decided to run screaming for the hills. Has anyone actually heard of anyone's being attacked through their Java vulnerabilities? No? Then no need to panic.

Unless you're in government and have no clue about how computers work. Then go ahead and panic yourself into a coma.
2013-01-11 11:28:50 PM  
1 vote:

Aboleth: Nee Java no badda
Nee chaade su goodie

cheesa beecha wonky chewbacca
2013-01-11 10:21:04 PM  
1 vote:

Saberus Terras: Does this mean I can't play Minecraft?

You can always take your chances:

fc06.deviantart.netView Full Size
2013-01-11 10:18:42 PM  
1 vote:

davidphogan: How do you disable a province in Indonesia?

-Xmx0M -Xms0M
2013-01-11 09:34:58 PM  
1 vote:

tzzhc4: [ image 300x228]

Blackwatch plaid level threat?

upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size

2013-01-11 09:25:15 PM  
1 vote:
images1.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size

Shouldn't be too hard, he doesn't look like he's too quick on his feet.
2013-01-11 09:09:53 PM  
1 vote:
I'd rather just disable the DHS instead.
2013-01-11 09:04:46 PM  
1 vote:

davidphogan: How do you disable a province in Indonesia?

Tell them their shipment of dogs has arrived.
2013-01-11 09:04:39 PM  
1 vote:
When I turn off Java I get this message from Fark
"Please turn on JavaScript for a better user experience"
No frickin security threat or the pissin DHS is going to keep me from having a better Farking user experience!

/also the nifty little reply button thingy don't work either
2013-01-11 08:36:54 PM  
1 vote:
kasei.usView Full Size

Blackwatch plaid level threat?
2013-01-11 08:35:36 PM  
1 vote:
Pr0n is still ok, right?
2013-01-11 08:33:08 PM  
1 vote:

TEG24601: You only need to disable the browser Plugin, and not run software that you don't know and trust.

So 99% of internet users are boned. Got it.
2013-01-11 08:32:48 PM  
1 vote:
A security flaw in Java? Unpossible!
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