If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Variety)   Spielberg to revive Jurassic Park on June 13, 2014. Life finds a way   (variety.com) divider line 80
    More: Spiffy, Steven Spielberg, Joe Johnston, Tintin  
•       •       •

4875 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 11 Jan 2013 at 10:00 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



80 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-01-11 07:13:40 PM
The "Jurassic Park" trilogy has grossed more than $1.9 dollars worldwide with "Jurassic Park 3" grossing $363 million worldwide. Universal is already planning to re-release "Jurassic Park" in 3D on April 5, 2013.

Wow....1.9 dollars...I thought it did better than that!
 
2013-01-11 08:56:00 PM
$1.9????? That's a lot of dollars!!!
 
2013-01-11 09:38:42 PM
God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs.
 
2013-01-11 09:48:36 PM
$1.9 potatoes worldwide
 
2013-01-11 10:01:54 PM
Good. Those 1990's CGI effects look positively prehistoric.
 
2013-01-11 10:09:16 PM

Dinobot: God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs.

Japanese create Dinobot?
 
2013-01-11 10:12:01 PM

Dinobot: God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs.


Man dies in a tragic blimp accident.
 
2013-01-11 10:14:34 PM
What more needs to be said in this storyline? Leaving aside them jumbling up the events from book to movie. Leaving aside the ridiculous "I'm an acrobat, watch me kick raptor ass". Are they just gonna beat this dead horse for more dollars? I'm not sure why I'm asking.
 
2013-01-11 10:18:32 PM
Did you guys see that article mentioned $1.9 as the movie gross? Wow, I had no idea that the first two movies $362,999,998.1 over budgeted. What a shame
 
2013-01-11 10:23:17 PM
FTFA: but Spielberg sparked interest at the 2011 Comic Con while tupthumping "The Adventures of Tintin"
The writers for Variety need a punch in the nuts.
 
2013-01-11 10:29:11 PM
i21.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-11 10:34:15 PM

GoodyearPimp: What more needs to be said in this storyline? Leaving aside them jumbling up the events from book to movie. Leaving aside the ridiculous "I'm an acrobat, watch me kick raptor ass". Are they just gonna beat this dead horse for more dollars? I'm not sure why I'm asking.


Maybe in this film, guns will actually *WORK*, and people will be able to use them competently.

Or perhaps someone will take their pocket knife and fashion a long, pointy stick to keep them somewhat at bay.
 
2013-01-11 10:34:26 PM
I want the gun-toting, crime fighting dinosaurs from the earlier script...
 
2013-01-11 10:34:31 PM
When no one was looking, Variety wrote of a profit of 1.9 dollars. A profit of 1.9 dollars
That is less then a tenth of the true profit. And that is just stupid.
 
2013-01-11 10:38:45 PM

Circusdog320: The "Jurassic Park" trilogy has grossed more than $1.9 dollars worldwide with "Jurassic Park 3" grossing $363 million worldwide. Universal is already planning to re-release "Jurassic Park" in 3D on April 5, 2013.

Wow....1.9 dollars...I thought it did better than that!


Talk about a gross understatement.
 
2013-01-11 10:40:23 PM

Already Disturbed: I want the gun-toting, crime fighting dinosaurs from the earlier script...


yeah but, you get the trouble of Whoopi Goldberg being a sidekick

cdn.fd.uproxx.com
 
2013-01-11 10:42:25 PM
The raptors stow away on a ship to the mainland where they lay low and take on the name Mr. Pilkington.
 
2013-01-11 10:46:51 PM
/CSB on

I was the Security Manager for Jurassic Park 1 & 2.

/CSB off
 
2013-01-11 10:48:20 PM
Another movie about people fighting giant cgi monsters. Oh well that's certainly not played out.

Oh, and don't forget the whinym annoying as fark kids.

kimwim: $1.9????? That's a lot of dollars!!!


Goddamn studio accounting!
 
2013-01-11 10:52:34 PM
the vials of dino dna that Nedry put in the shaving cream can are unearthed by a future race who mistaken it as a key to their own mysteries and unknowingly unleash the savage beasts on a world that still can't just napalm the whole damn place to the ground

the end
 
2013-01-11 11:03:46 PM

misanthropicsob: Circusdog320: The "Jurassic Park" trilogy has grossed more than $1.9 dollars worldwide with "Jurassic Park 3" grossing $363 million worldwide. Universal is already planning to re-release "Jurassic Park" in 3D on April 5, 2013.

Wow....1.9 dollars...I thought it did better than that!

Talk about a gross understatement.


Nice.
 
2013-01-11 11:06:46 PM

Confabulat: FTFA: but Spielberg sparked interest at the 2011 Comic Con while tupthumping "The Adventures of Tintin"
The writers for Variety need a punch in the nuts.


They'll just get up again.
 
2013-01-11 11:32:30 PM
Huge Jurassic Park fan here...

With that out of the way, I have to say, why? What's the point? No need for this.
 
2013-01-11 11:40:31 PM

invictus2: When no one was looking, Variety wrote of a profit of 1.9 dollars. A profit of 1.9 dollars
That is less then a tenth of the true profit. And that is just stupid.


Nice
 
2013-01-11 11:42:35 PM
Maybe they'll explain how the T-Rex was able to eat the bridge crew of the freighter without escaping from the cargo hold first.
 
2013-01-11 11:47:24 PM
Just mix it in with  Robopocalypse. T-Rex vs Giant Robot. Maybe add in a large turtle. Sounds original.
 
2013-01-11 11:48:44 PM

The Man Who Laughs: Maybe they'll explain how the T-Rex was able to eat the bridge crew of the freighter without escaping from the cargo hold first.


i don't know how i know this, but i believe it was supposedly a pack of raptors that stowed away on the ship, and then upon making it to mainland, were going to take over in the sequel.... But they never shot the sequence.
 
2013-01-11 11:55:13 PM

T.rex: The Man Who Laughs: Maybe they'll explain how the T-Rex was able to eat the bridge crew of the freighter without escaping from the cargo hold first.

i don't know how i know this, but i believe it was supposedly a pack of raptors that stowed away on the ship, and then upon making it to mainland, were going to take over in the sequel.... But they never shot the sequence.


Well, I suppose if I'm going to believe anybody about this, it would be you.
 
2013-01-11 11:55:36 PM

drake113: Good. Those 1990's CGI effects look positively prehistoric.


Eh, saw the trailer for Jurrasic Park: 3D in IMAX. I have to say that it holds up very well considering it was done 20 years ago. Will be going to see this for the hell of it.
 
2013-01-11 11:57:59 PM
The "Jurassic Park" trilogy has grossed more than $1.9 dollars worldwide

Let it go, Spielberg, just write it off.
 
2013-01-12 12:01:40 AM

drake113: Good. Those 1990's CGI effects look positively prehistoric.


I disagree...partially. Some of the effects are incredible and compare well with anything done today. Other stuff. The stampede and the first dinos seen when they arrive at the island not so much. IIRC all of the software was custom written for JP. Many movies that came after used the equivalent of OTS software and the effects were not nearly as good.
 
2013-01-12 12:08:28 AM
Spielberg needs the money. He has more kids than octomom and Angelina Jolie combined.
 
2013-01-12 12:12:28 AM
I read the the book, didn't the geezer buy a plot the first time?
 
2013-01-12 12:22:40 AM

Saber: Dinobot: God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs.

Man dies in a tragic blimp accident.


Goodyear?
 
2013-01-12 12:23:15 AM
I saw JP 2.

Defnitely passing on this one, unless it gets the best reviews in the world
 
2013-01-12 12:25:58 AM

Solid Muldoon: Saber: Dinobot: God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs.

Man dies in a tragic blimp accident.

Goodyear?


The worst
 
2013-01-12 12:27:40 AM

ThatBillmanGuy: Huge Jurassic Park fan here...

With that out of the way, I have to say, why? What's the point? No need for this.


Well, as an equally huge Jurassic Park fan, if they've got some new actors, a solid story, enough SFX to make us entertained but not nauseated, just grab John Williams and throw him in the recording studio for a couple weeks, and we've got a solid motion picture, baby!

If you think otherwise, just feel free to use this:

farm9.staticflickr.com
 
2013-01-12 12:37:00 AM

The Man Who Laughs: T.rex: The Man Who Laughs: Maybe they'll explain how the T-Rex was able to eat the bridge crew of the freighter without escaping from the cargo hold first.

i don't know how i know this, but i believe it was supposedly a pack of raptors that stowed away on the ship, and then upon making it to mainland, were going to take over in the sequel.... But they never shot the sequence.

Well, I suppose if I'm going to believe anybody about this, it would be you.


Epic win.
 
2013-01-12 12:47:09 AM

paulleah: The raptors stow away on a ship to the mainland where they lay low and take on the name Mr. Pilkington.


I would watch this.
 
2013-01-12 12:58:36 AM

drake113: Good. Those 1990's CGI effects look positively prehistoric.


Sure, but over two-thirds of the time you're looking at on-set animatronics. A few minutes of CGI are spared for the shots that could be done no other way. Fast forward to something like Revenge of the Sith and it's made from almost the opposite mindset, a CGI world with physicality only when necessary.
 
2013-01-12 01:10:18 AM
I'm convinced that for a Jurassic Park movie to be good it requires both Jeff Goldblum and Sam Neil

not sure why, but there it is.
 
2013-01-12 01:12:31 AM
Factoid: Jurassic Park was the movie where I realized that a book can actually be more terrifying than a movie.

/ still love the Jurassic Park ride at Universal Studios: Orlando. Cheesy fun.
 
2013-01-12 01:15:29 AM

ThisIsntMe: I read the the book, didn't the geezer buy a plot the first time?


Yep. In the book, Hammond is killed and presumably eaten by the compys.
 
2013-01-12 01:19:19 AM
I blame Michael Cricton for how lousy the second movie was. The first book was pretty terrific and had a great setup for a sequel, and then that idiot wrote a sequel to THE MOVIE, not his own novel. That would be like George R.R. Martin finishing up the last books of Song of Ice and Fire to fit the TV show. And not only did that suck, but it was a terrible concept as well. The theme park/dinosaur thing was cool; throwing the cast into just a standard jungle island was boring as hell.

I liked #3 ok, it didn't have any of those annoying scenes of sweeping John Williams score while we all ooo and aahh over the veggiesauruses or whatever. And it was short.
 
2013-01-12 01:32:27 AM

The Man Who Laughs: Maybe they'll explain how the T-Rex was able to eat the bridge crew of the freighter without escaping from the cargo hold first.


+2000
 
2013-01-12 01:40:30 AM
faroutshirts.com
 
2013-01-12 02:11:35 AM
I'm ok with watching good cgi Dinosaurs for a few hours. Discovery needs to do another Walking With Dinosaurs series again.
 
2013-01-12 02:25:30 AM
This could work. Terrorists cleverly build a secret training camp in the middle of the dinosaurs' island. Navy SEALS are sent in. The SEALS and terrorists are forced to band together to fight the dinosaurs. In the end, the survivors realize that we're all the same and peace is made. As the leaders of the SEALS and terrorists shake hands in the foreground, in the background we see a Triceratops and T Rex(who were about to fight) suddenly stand still, look each other in the eyes in understanding, then run off together into the sunset.
 
2013-01-12 02:29:14 AM

misanthropicsob: Circusdog320: The "Jurassic Park" trilogy has grossed more than $1.9 dollars worldwide with "Jurassic Park 3" grossing $363 million worldwide. Universal is already planning to re-release "Jurassic Park" in 3D on April 5, 2013.

Wow....1.9 dollars...I thought it did better than that!

Talk about a gross understatement.


$144 still isn't that much
 
2013-01-12 02:52:44 AM

Beerguy: /CSB on

I was the Security Manager for Jurassic Park 1 & 2.

/CSB off


Well you did a farking terrible job, clearly. I surprised they kept you on after all the people died the first time around.
 
Displayed 50 of 80 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report