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(Houston Press)   Meet Mr. William "Billy" Michael Martin. Arrested for pleasuring himself in hospital offices, stealing womens panties and absconding with various pictures for self pleasure. But things didn't really get weird until they found the beach balls   (blogs.houstonpress.com) divider line 84
    More: Weird, Lufkin, pregnant woman  
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9194 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jan 2013 at 5:41 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-11 05:20:01 PM
'Back at the hospital, he reportedly masturbated in the office of the director of nurses, where he stole two photos and left "a trail of semen" '


I vaguely remembering seeing And You WIll Know Us By the Trail of Semen open up for Superchunk.
 
2013-01-11 05:23:39 PM
 
2013-01-11 05:44:28 PM

BumpInTheNight: Oh god, I found his fark handle!


that's the same handle i have on my luggage!
 
2013-01-11 05:46:45 PM
Well really, haven't we all wanted to be a little pregnant at one time or another?
 
2013-01-11 05:47:25 PM
That's why they call him "Wild" bill. O wanna party with you cowboy
 
2013-01-11 05:49:59 PM

brap: 'Back at the hospital, he reportedly masturbated in the office of the director of nurses, where he stole two photos and left "a trail of semen" '


Well naturally, he had to find his way back somehow.
 
2013-01-11 05:52:03 PM
cdn.bleacherreport.net

/Image is hot like a flaming corpse.
 
2013-01-11 05:52:28 PM
That poor guy is batshiat crazy. Lock him away.
 
2013-01-11 05:52:57 PM
i141.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-11 05:53:02 PM
pfft. Amateur.
 
2013-01-11 05:55:28 PM

BumpInTheNight: Oh god, I found his fark handle!


Jez, that guy has a fascination with poop and being decked out in vinyl in a bathtub
 
2013-01-11 06:01:23 PM
...or as they call it around Fark HQ, Tuesday Night.
 
2013-01-11 06:02:01 PM
Ambien defense.
 
2013-01-11 06:03:51 PM

BumpInTheNight: Oh god, I found his fark handle!


I only jerk with the beach ball pregnancy thing and stealing women's panties. I would never do the rest of that stuff. That's just weird.
 
2013-01-11 06:05:00 PM

BumpInTheNight: Oh god, I found his fark handle!


He's a dirty old man,that's for sure.
 
2013-01-11 06:05:21 PM
Oh god the memories of the man wearing a horse mask farking a beach ball gif.

By all means google it. You've not seen the internet till you've seen that kind of weird
 
2013-01-11 06:05:40 PM
"He did admit to jerking off in bathrooms at the hospital, so there's that. But the best part had to come (pardon the pun) at his home, where in addition to the porn, underwear he apparently liked to touch and sniff when he was "alone" (um, EW!)"

That article read like how the fat secretary with no life talks when standing over the water cooler.
 
2013-01-11 06:07:56 PM
I generally assume that a large percentage of farkers are posting from strangers' offices in which they are masturbating over stolen women's underwear while stuffing beach balls under their shirts to imitate pregnancy.

I can't be the only one...
 
2013-01-11 06:08:10 PM
Billy jack?
 
2013-01-11 06:09:11 PM
Lewis and Clark never mentioned the Semen Trail.
 
2013-01-11 06:09:22 PM
Born in Texas, he can stay in Texas
 
2013-01-11 06:11:06 PM

BumpInTheNight: Oh god, I found his fark handle!


I heard that guy had sex with a dolphin.
 
2013-01-11 06:14:46 PM

BumpInTheNight: Oh god, I found his fark handle!


all i wanna know is; why, when i click on this link, does my information show up?? hahahaha!!!
/ tagged, but "NOT it"!
// comma comma comma
 
2013-01-11 06:14:52 PM

uncleacid: Lewis and Clark never mentioned the Semen Trail.


Mark Twain wrote about a trail left by Tom and Becky in the cave.
 
2013-01-11 06:18:19 PM

BumpInTheNight: Oh god, I found his fark handle!


Win! I flying into a rage. Then, I saw what you did.
 
2013-01-11 06:18:50 PM

JustYourGestureJester: BumpInTheNight: Oh god, I found his fark handle!

all i wanna know is; why, when i click on this link, does my information show up?? hahahaha!!!
/ tagged, but "NOT it"!
// comma comma comma


ok. got it. yeah, total schlub.
 
2013-01-11 06:21:21 PM
Seriously, if you need to sniff panties, dress up like a woman with a beach ball under the dress, and leave trails of semen whereever you go, you fail at life. Kill yourself. You are so farked up, no therapy will help you.
 
2013-01-11 06:21:36 PM

BumpInTheNight: Oh god, I found his fark handle!


imagemacros.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-01-11 06:22:28 PM

Bit'O'Gristle: Seriously, if you need to sniff panties, dress up like a woman with a beach ball under the dress, and leave trails of semen whereever you go, you fail at life. Kill yourself. You are so farked up, no therapy will help you.


But he's still allowed to have a gun, right?
 
2013-01-11 06:23:26 PM

BumpInTheNight: Oh god, I found his fark handle!


That was awesome.
 
2013-01-11 06:24:28 PM

BumpInTheNight: Oh god, I found his fark handle!


1.5 Internets to you, fine sir. [tips hat...and pulls pants back up]
 
2013-01-11 06:25:00 PM

Britney Spear's Speculum: But he's still allowed to have a gun, right?


Not where he's going.
 
2013-01-11 06:25:26 PM
Seriously. This guy needs to be studied.
 
2013-01-11 06:28:44 PM
Hopefully Steinbrenner doesn't get involved
 
2013-01-11 06:33:28 PM

BumpInTheNight: Oh god, I found his fark handle!


I had to come again,just to see how you had done.So far,so good.
If I have the stamina,I may come again later( progress check,of course).
 
2013-01-11 06:34:59 PM

sloshed_again: Britney Spear's Speculum: But he's still allowed to have a gun, right?

Not where he's going.


He can still get his eye shot out
 
2013-01-11 06:35:59 PM
Eat shiat.
 
2013-01-11 06:38:01 PM
The sheer effort to do all this is amazing.
 
2013-01-11 06:40:22 PM

Bit'O'Gristle: Seriously, if you need to sniff panties, dress up like a woman with a beach ball under the dress, and leave trails of semen whereever you go, you fail at life. Kill yourself. You are so farked up, no therapy will help you.


Well, thank goodness I don't have any beach balls!
 
2013-01-11 06:42:47 PM
Clever.
 
2013-01-11 06:45:56 PM

BumpInTheNight: Oh god, I found his fark handle!


I'm glad you find this amusing.

But seriously, could somebody come bail me out?
 
2013-01-11 06:46:23 PM

Smeggy Smurf: He can still get his eye shot out


Are you talking Willie One Eye
 
2013-01-11 06:46:29 PM
Um,
 
2013-01-11 06:46:46 PM

BumpInTheNight: Oh god, I found his fark handle!


nice.
 
2013-01-11 06:47:09 PM

Indubitably: Um,

To sight

 
2013-01-11 06:48:18 PM

sloshed_again: Smeggy Smurf: He can still get his eye shot out

Are you talking Willie One Eye


Willie and the hand jive
 
2013-01-11 06:50:40 PM
That doesn't seem all that bad. Although if it were me, I would want it to end with. "And then he pulled a gun on the officers and was shot dead". I wouldnt have to live with the embaressment. And people would get to say things like, "He did kinda give me that creepy feeling" and "I always knew he was a little perv" and "I don't care if his apartment is cheap and near the shore. I'm not going to live there".
 
2013-01-11 06:52:04 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Willie and the hand jive


Texas hand jive. Da Da Da Da Da Daaa.
 
2013-01-11 07:02:09 PM

Indubitably: Indubitably: Um,

To sight


*click*

*click-click*

*exhale*

*)

P.S. Enough!~
 
2013-01-11 07:06:48 PM
Who is this biatch to bad mouth panty-sniffers?
 
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