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(The Smoking Gun)   Feds withdraw warning letter issued to flatulent Social Security employee soon after getting wind of it. The employee is glad to have the matter behind him   (thesmokinggun.com) divider line 90
    More: Followup, SSA, flatulence, American Federation of Government Employees  
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6189 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jan 2013 at 2:56 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-11 02:09:28 PM
2.bp.blogspot.com

WELCOME TO FARTBAMA'S AMERICA


/congrats on the green, Subby.
 
2013-01-11 02:39:28 PM
media.tumblr.com

Look for the man with the terrible smell!
 
2013-01-11 02:43:28 PM
They call him... The Cropduster
 
2013-01-11 03:00:19 PM
www.saynotocrack.com
 
2013-01-11 03:01:51 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: They call him... The Cropduster


Bah, a cheap knockoff. Air Bisquit Man has been the reining superfarter for the past 60 years.
 
2013-01-11 03:02:07 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: They call him... The Cropduster


I don't care what anyone says, crop dusting is funny as hell.
 
2013-01-11 03:05:26 PM
I work in a very small office with two other people. I was packing some serious shiat on Tuesday, it almost came to blows.
 
2013-01-11 03:09:21 PM
Henceforth all employees will be authorized to flick lit matches in his general direction.
 
2013-01-11 03:09:49 PM
I work in a server room with my own air ventilation system and I offend myself some days.
 
2013-01-11 03:10:30 PM
That's why I bring my dog into the office with me. Plausible deniability.
 
2013-01-11 03:11:39 PM
The five-page letter accused the worker of "conduct unbecoming a federal officer" and included a log of representative dates and times when the man was recorded "releasing the awful and unpleasant odor."

Having worked for the feds, I can guess they had an Outlook calendar set up and administered by no less than a GS-12 who recorded every instance.

I used to work with a guy who would lean neatly to port (your only warning) and release one, He'd then say "There's a kiss for you, Harry."

One day, there was a very hot co-worker talking to the other programmer and the guy let rip. "There's a kiss for you, Geno." The emitter then looked to see the programmer's reaction (usually the finder) but saw the hot co-worker looking at him with a surprised look on her face.
 
2013-01-11 03:14:13 PM
Best reason to work in a computer room. Enough noise (especially back in the days of impact printers) to cover any noise and you could stand over a floor vent and dissipate the smell.
 
2013-01-11 03:14:57 PM
Take a shiat before you go to work, people.

Just put this pig in a corner cubicle and seal the area up with plastic sheeting.
 
2013-01-11 03:15:11 PM
So this story is now Gone with the Wind.
 
2013-01-11 03:17:00 PM

Ms.Gradenko: Take a shiat before you go to work, people.


THIS
 
2013-01-11 03:17:12 PM
"The SSA worker is seen at right in the adjacent photo, which was apparently snapped during an amusement park trip that included a visit with someone dressed as Pepe Le Pew."

You can't make this stuff up.
 
2013-01-11 03:20:23 PM
Make sure he gets the charcoal underpants in the next grab bag.
 
2013-01-11 03:21:05 PM
sometimes old toothless has a mind of its own.. elevators are almost always not the place to drop one.
 
2013-01-11 03:24:00 PM

Ms.Gradenko: Take a shiat before you go to work, people.

Just put this pig in a corner cubicle and seal the area up with plastic sheeting.


I save my shiats FOR work. I see you are not familiar with the concept of "Brown Pay." Let's say I make $20/hr and take a half hour poop every day I work. That translates to being paid $50 a week, or $2600 a year. In less 10 years, I could buy a brand new car from money I made taking dumps. As an added bonus, you also save money on toilet paper.
 
2013-01-11 03:27:31 PM
What a piece of shiat. He's creating a disruptive, offensive workplace atmosphere, and I bet he CAN control it. It's like belching, only you have the option to hurry to the bathroom and not be an offensive piece of shiat, and this guy obviously chooses not to. Fire away!
 
2013-01-11 03:27:47 PM
 
2013-01-11 03:28:03 PM
Yes I am familiar with that term. I'm also familiar with the terms "consideration" and "friendly work space". Go be stinky somewhere else.
 
2013-01-11 03:28:49 PM
Ah the freedom of having a job where you regularly work outside. Belching proudly and as loudly as you please is also a plus.
 
2013-01-11 03:31:07 PM
Everyone gets odoriferous gas every once in a while.

But if you're causing the paint to peel ever single day, then dude, you've got a problem, and it's affecting everyone around you. See a doctor, take beeno, and work on your diet. And don't be surprised if you get reprimanded if you don't.
 
2013-01-11 03:33:41 PM

Ms.Gradenko: Take a shiat before you go to work, people.

Just put this pig in a corner cubicle and seal the area up with plastic sheeting.


Passing gas has little to do with the need to have a bowel movement. Since you aren't in elementary school you should know that. The average person, even you, passes gas about 21 times per day. It is an biological function you cannot stop.
 
2013-01-11 03:34:09 PM
Dead bodies also smell bad. He might be a zombi.
 
2013-01-11 03:34:33 PM
Seriously Bob... What The Fart?
 
2013-01-11 03:37:03 PM
He was probably just trying to get out of an annoying cubicle situation.

www.gamesdash.com
 
2013-01-11 03:40:29 PM
Cut the cheesy puns, subby.
 
2013-01-11 03:43:50 PM

Mija: Ms.Gradenko: Take a shiat before you go to work, people.

Just put this pig in a corner cubicle and seal the area up with plastic sheeting.

Passing gas has little to do with the need to have a bowel movement. Since you aren't in elementary school you should know that. The average person, even you, passes gas about 21 times per day. It is an biological function you cannot stop.


Wrong
 
2013-01-11 03:48:03 PM
i.chzbgr.com
 
2013-01-11 03:48:36 PM

The Angry Hand of God: Ms.Gradenko: Take a shiat before you go to work, people.

Just put this pig in a corner cubicle and seal the area up with plastic sheeting.

I save my shiats FOR work. I see you are not familiar with the concept of "Brown Pay." Let's say I make $20/hr and take a half hour poop every day I work. That translates to being paid $50 a week, or $2600 a year. In less 10 years, I could buy a brand new car from money I made taking dumps. As an added bonus, you also save money on toilet paper.


Come on, man, I been drinking beer. Staying in there for half a damn hour, the hell?
 
2013-01-11 03:52:25 PM

crozzo: The Angry Hand of God: Ms.Gradenko: Take a shiat before you go to work, people.

Just put this pig in a corner cubicle and seal the area up with plastic sheeting.

I save my shiats FOR work. I see you are not familiar with the concept of "Brown Pay." Let's say I make $20/hr and take a half hour poop every day I work. That translates to being paid $50 a week, or $2600 a year. In less 10 years, I could buy a brand new car from money I made taking dumps. As an added bonus, you also save money on toilet paper.

Come on, man, I been drinking beer. Staying in there for half a damn hour, the hell?


I drink a lot of beer too. It is more like 6 five minute sessions throughout the day.
 
2013-01-11 03:54:06 PM

Somacandra: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 490x320]

WELCOME TO FARTBAMA'S AMERICA


/congrats on the green, Subby.


This is the BEST twist on "This is Dog" I've EVER SEEN.
OMFG
Tears
TEARS I TELLS YA!!!
 
2013-01-11 03:58:32 PM
Good thing he doesn't work for the EPA.
 
2013-01-11 04:01:33 PM
My recipe:
2 boiled eggs (pickled if you have em)
helping of lima beans
2 cans domestic beer
7-up
brocholi . . . lots
brussel sprouts if you can stand em
hot dog or sausage with sauerkraut

Any 3 or four of the above creates that "ring of fire"
 
2013-01-11 04:02:14 PM
Here the Feds sit, all despondent
Because now there's no respondent.
 
2013-01-11 04:03:17 PM

Mija: Ms.Gradenko: Take a shiat before you go to work, people.

Just put this pig in a corner cubicle and seal the area up with plastic sheeting.

Passing gas has little to do with the need to have a bowel movement. Since you aren't in elementary school you should know that. The average person, even you, passes gas about 21 times per day. It is an biological function you cannot stop.


If this was "normal" farting, like everybody else in the office certainly does, then nobody would care, and this guy would not be in this situation. I assume these are large, loud and extremely foul smelling. He has a digestive problem of some sort, and I don't think it's beyond the responsibility of his supervisor to request that he see a doctor and make some attempt at fixing the problem. Or, maybe that has happened and the guy was all like "I fart, it's normal, suck it!" - hence the write up.
 
2013-01-11 04:24:17 PM

Mija: Ms.Gradenko: Take a shiat before you go to work, people.

Just put this pig in a corner cubicle and seal the area up with plastic sheeting.

Passing gas has little to do with the need to have a bowel movement. Since you aren't in elementary school you should know that. The average person, even you, passes gas about 21 times per day. It is an biological function you cannot stop.

This. Also there's a reason the removed the document. He could sue the bejesus out of them and win.
 
2013-01-11 04:29:58 PM
www.jamiegaines.com

/oblig
 
2013-01-11 04:32:05 PM
Incontinence of flatus

"Gas incontinence" could be defined as loss of voluntary control over the passage of flatus. It is a recognized subtype of fecal incontinence, and is usually related to minor disruptions of the continence mechanisms. Some consider gas incontinence to be the first, sometimes only, symptom of fecal incontinence.[17]

so yeah he could have a condition that renders him unable to control it.
 
2013-01-11 04:36:22 PM
The "official reprimand," issued to the 38-year-old male worker on December 10, was quickly rescinded after SSA senior managers got wind of the proposed sanction.

I'm sure the Smoking Gun writers were tittering like little girls when they wrote that.
 
2013-01-11 04:37:37 PM
Kashi GoLean Cereal = farts from which you cannot recover. I seriously thought something was medically wrong with me.
 
2013-01-11 04:38:13 PM
When are people going to learn that black dry-erase marker does NOT redact documents? You need a specific kind of ink with very specific opacity and reflectivity properties to properly redact text, and there are even different types of inks for different types of paper/print combinations.

All it took was three minutes with photoshop, and I could clearly read the employee's name. If you crop a rectangle around the blacked-out text where it has "Employee Name," save it as its own .PNG file, and then crank down the gamma and create an animated GIF of varying levels of contrast (the eye sees change hundreds of times better than it does stationary objects), you can just make out the name... Jack... Flash.
 
2013-01-11 04:43:07 PM

Netrngr: Mija: Ms.Gradenko: Take a shiat before you go to work, people.

Just put this pig in a corner cubicle and seal the area up with plastic sheeting.

Passing gas has little to do with the need to have a bowel movement. Since you aren't in elementary school you should know that. The average person, even you, passes gas about 21 times per day. It is an biological function you cannot stop.
This. Also there's a reason the removed the document. He could sue the bejesus out of them and win.


On what grounds could he win a lawsuit? This myth of being able to sue for any reason is oneof the reasons why America is so litigious. I should sue you for adding to the problem
 
2013-01-11 04:43:32 PM
Back in the early 1980s (when Human Resources was still called the Personnel Department and they could care less if someone was emitting noxious gas on a daily basis) there was an old guy in our department who would regularly and shamelessly just shift in his chair, lift cheek and let fly. It was disgusting bu he was apparently oblivious. Eventually one other guy in our department - to our surprise - had gone to some Army surplus store and purchased a WWII-era gas mask, and one afternoon when Mr. Methane let fly, Other Guy reached under his drawing table, donned the gas mask and started banging on his metal desk lamp with an X-acto knife yelling "Gas attack! Gas attack!" The rest of us doubled over in laughter, but the perp just shook his head and wondered what was so darned funny.
 
2013-01-11 04:52:57 PM

ga362: My recipe:
2 boiled eggs (pickled if you have em)
helping of lima beans
2 cans domestic beer
7-up
brocholi . . . lots
brussel sprouts if you can stand em
hot dog or sausage with sauerkraut

Any 3 or four of the above creates that "ring of fire"


You need to add beef barley soup with a generous helping of garbanzo beans and lentils. That alone, eaten for 3 days straight, will kill a mutant cockroach 10 miles upwind in a hurricane.

It's also my preferred meal to eat before hanging out in the perfume department at Macys during Christmas. Right inside the door you can rip them off as somebody opens up. The blast of cold air send the terror shooting in a good 50 feet before it starts to spread.
 
2013-01-11 04:54:45 PM
Farts is funny, I don't care who you are!

i536.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-11 04:55:50 PM

Ms.Gradenko: Take a shiat before you go to work, people.

Just put this pig in a corner cubicle and seal the area up with plastic sheeting.


Like just once (or twice) a day is enough?
 
2013-01-11 04:58:28 PM
I've been chowing down on those Fiber One bars. rather tasty, but they make me fart loud enough to frighten the dogs out of bed. Weird thing is, it's seems to be mostly methane, so no odor. Hydrogen Sulfide produces the smell, and I ain't seem to be producing it....
 
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