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(Rotten Tomatoes)   A Haunted House is out, the reviews are in, and Scary Movie 2 is no longer the most embarrassing thing on Marlon Wayans resume   (rottentomatoes.com) divider line 120
    More: Fail, Marlon Wayans, survival horror, Paranormal Activity, resumes, found footage  
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6088 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 11 Jan 2013 at 12:13 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



120 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-01-11 12:05:13 PM  
Of course not subby, that title will always belong to this monstrosity:

netflix.hs.llnwd.net
 
2013-01-11 12:18:05 PM  
The big problem with going to a movie on Christmas Day was the barrage of trailers for the terrible crap being released after the beginning of the year. I saw the trailer for A Haunted House along with one for another Scary Movie sequel where pretty much every joke was also about Paranormal Activity, as well as some new thriller that appears to be a pretty blatant rip-off of PA.
 
2013-01-11 12:20:11 PM  
I saw an extended shot a while back.
I couldn't believe people acted on this for money.
It looked like a high school prank to upload on Youtube.
 
2013-01-11 12:23:04 PM  
Ghost balls. Really? REALLY?

/really
 
2013-01-11 12:23:13 PM  
94% of the audience liked it.
Since critics don't pay for movie tickets, I'd say he's targeting the right demographic.
 
2013-01-11 12:23:21 PM  
Wow, only 94% of the audiences liked it.

Shame on you Marlon!
 
2013-01-11 12:25:21 PM  
Only 8 reviews. Bucky Larson managed to stay at 0% with 35.
 
2013-01-11 12:30:57 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Of course not subby, that title will always belong to this monstrosity:

[netflix.hs.llnwd.net image 284x405]


Terry Crews made that movie worth watching.
 
2013-01-11 12:33:15 PM  
94% of the audience knew exactly what they were getting and apparently got that. The rest of us know better than to waste our time/money on this shiat.
 
2013-01-11 12:38:28 PM  
I thought getting married to Mariah Carey and being her biatch was the most embarrassing thing on his resume
 
2013-01-11 12:39:53 PM  
Did the Wayanses have a falling out with the Scary Movie people? What's the story there?
 
2013-01-11 12:40:32 PM  
I watched a commercial for it and the review line where someone said it was the "Funniest Movie Ever" was from a twitter account.
 
2013-01-11 12:40:53 PM  

Champion of the Sun: I thought getting married to Mariah Carey and being her biatch was the most embarrassing thing on his resume


Wrong skinny black guy.
 
2013-01-11 12:41:18 PM  

Champion of the Sun: I thought getting married to Mariah Carey and being her biatch was the most embarrassing thing on his resume


...Nick Cannon is not Marlon Wayans.
 
2013-01-11 12:41:29 PM  
The commercials for this and "Movie 43" keep running back-to-back, so I've been wondering what in the hell Halle Barry and Emma Stone were doing in this piece of shiat.

Looking at Movie 43, however, I think I'm going to be wondering how in the hell Halle Barry and Emma Stone ended up in that piece of shiat.
 
2013-01-11 12:43:58 PM  
I liked Scary Movie 2.
 
2013-01-11 12:45:02 PM  

CatfoodSpork: Did the Wayanses have a falling out with the Scary Movie people? What's the story there?


No story. They moved on and Dimension handed the franchise over to David Zucker, who was once making movies like Airplane and The Naked Gun, but is now making movies this and American Carol.
 
2013-01-11 12:51:37 PM  

Lollipop165: I liked Scary Movie 2.


Is that the one with the redhead?
 
2013-01-11 12:52:09 PM  

LesserEvil: Wow, only 94% of the audiences liked it.

Shame on you Marlon!


All the kids on Facebook are talking about it and want to see it. In other news....kids are stupid.
 
2013-01-11 12:52:55 PM  
Scary Movie 2 is the only movie I have seen with the correct reaction to a horror scene. I am referring to James Woods, after seeing the girl spin her head around, Exorcist-style : "fark THIS!"

/oops, forgot: spoiler alert!
 
2013-01-11 12:53:08 PM  
Nick Swardson's kiss of death strikes again
 
2013-01-11 12:55:25 PM  

chechcal: The commercials for this and "Movie 43" keep running back-to-back, so I've been wondering what in the hell Halle Barry and Emma Stone were doing in this piece of shiat.

Looking at Movie 43, however, I think I'm going to be wondering how in the hell Halle Barry and Emma Stone ended up in that piece of shiat.


I'm willing to give it a chance right now. The commercials are underwhelming, but it's got a hell of a lot of good actors in it.

Ensemble Cast:

Hugh Jackman
Emma Stone as Ellen Malloy
Chloë Grace Moretz
Gerard Butler as Chaun
Elizabeth Banks
Kristen Bell as Supergirl
Naomi Watts
Chris Pratt as Jason
Kate Winslet as Juliet Hulme
Anna Faris as Vanessa
Halle Berry
Richard Gere as Boss
Josh Duhamel
Uma Thurman as Lois Lane
Christopher Mintz-Plasse
Patrick Warburton
Seann William Scott
Liev Schreiber
Justin Long as Robin
Kieran Culkin
Kate Bosworth as Arlene
Jason Sudeikis as Batman
Leslie Bibb as Wonder Woman
Bobby Cannavale as Superman
Terrence Howard Tony Shalhoub
Johnny Knoxville
Jack McBrayer as Brian
Jimmy Bennett
Matt Walsh as Amanda's Dad
Stephen Merchant as Donald
Emily Alyn Lind as Birthday Girl
Jeremy Allen White as Kevin Metzger
Martin Klebba as Killer Chaun
Aasif Mandvi as Asif
Julie Ann Emery as Claire
Beth Littleford as Mrs. Cutler
Mark L. Young as Calvin
Nate Hartley as Stevie Schraeder
John Hodgman as The Penguin
Julie Claire as Pam
 
2013-01-11 12:56:07 PM  

Lost Thought 00: Nick Swardson's kiss of death strikes again


His best movie was Grandma's Boy
 
2013-01-11 12:56:36 PM  
Has Armond White reviewed it yet?
 
2013-01-11 12:59:55 PM  

scottydoesntknow: I'm willing to give it a chance right now. The commercials are underwhelming, but it's got a hell of a lot of good actors in it.


since its a serious of vignettes, each directed by a different person and staring different people its bound to be hit or miss, but if it hits 50% of the time even it will be worth a rental. Also from what i can tell the commercials are useless. the red band trailer is necessary to start to get an idea of what they are going for.
 
2013-01-11 01:01:36 PM  
I remember sitting with some co-workers and talking about what type of movies they liked. One said they ONLY like those scary and epic movies. All of them.
I promptly got up from the table and never talked to that co-worker again
 
2013-01-11 01:05:19 PM  
Subby here, MY FIRST GREENLIGHT! I'd like to thank the academy!
 
2013-01-11 01:05:19 PM  
This green light is in pretty farking poor farking taste seeing as how Marlon Wayans died.

Seriously, REPORTED.
 
2013-01-11 01:06:02 PM  
24.media.tumblr.com

Scary Movie 1 and 2 were good, the series took a nosedive after the wayans left.
 
2013-01-11 01:06:47 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: 94% of the audience liked it.
Since critics don't pay for movie tickets, I'd say he's targeting the right demographic.


I think the makers of such shiat as "Meet The Spartans" and "Epic Movie" have been milking that train for years now
 
2013-01-11 01:07:08 PM  

ItchyMcDoogle: I remember sitting with some co-workers and talking about what type of movies they liked. One said they ONLY like those scary and epic movies. All of them.
I promptly got up from the table and never talked to that co-worker again


Heh, you reminded me of that speed dating comic:

geektyrant.com
 
2013-01-11 01:08:00 PM  
Marlon Wayans is a poor white man's Richard Pryor.
 
2013-01-11 01:12:23 PM  

Saiga410: Lollipop165: I liked Scary Movie 2.

Is that the one with the redhead?


Yep. What ever happened to her?
 
2013-01-11 01:12:32 PM  
When an 80-minute theatrical film in 2012 is just an extended, less funny and less clever rip-off of a four-minute stand-up routine that's nearly 30 years old, that's as clear a sign to get out of the theater as a fountain of blood from the pipes is a clear sign to vacate the premises in a horror film.

Snort.

What's surprising here is how lazy "A Haunted House" is, doing away with the relative polish of "Scary Movie" to merely stitch together fart jokes and abysmal improvisations, gradually doing away with any type of connective tissue or, in the final act, elementary moviemaking coherence.

When your movie has less polish than a SM, you've got problems. Maybe they meant Polish.

Malcolm defecating on his girlfriend's father's ashes and humping stuffed dogs? That's found footage that never should have been created in the first place.

I love bad reviews.

There's a four-way sex scene with Malcolm and three stuffed animals that goes on for what feels like hours, all to the sound of silence.
 
2013-01-11 01:16:13 PM  

Dr.Zom: that goes on for what feels like hours, all to the sound of silence.


As in no real sound or the simon and garfunkle song?
 
2013-01-11 01:17:55 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Of course not subby, that title will always belong to this monstrosity:

[netflix.hs.llnwd.net image 284x405]


You forgot:
0.tqn.com
 
2013-01-11 01:24:34 PM  
Which Scary Movie was the one with the dreadlock pubes on the beauty contestant? I actually paid to see that one in theatres.
 
2013-01-11 01:26:23 PM  
I was curious about the whole 94% thing and actually started reading the audience reviews:

I know it's going to be another stupid parody movie, but I don't care. I think it'll get a few laughs out of me.

i wont to see this movie so bad yall yall just dont know how funy this movie is REAL TAWK......!!!!!!

This movie is probably going to be a disaster, but Im seeing it anyway.


Ok, so people who haven't actually seen it skewing the curve. Nice.
 
2013-01-11 01:29:13 PM  

Saiga410: Lollipop165: I liked Scary Movie 2.

Is that the one with the redhead?


Oh yeah (mildly NSFW)
 
2013-01-11 01:29:27 PM  

karnal: Marlon Wayans is a poor white man's Richard Pryor.


Marlon Wayans isn't even a poor white man's Damon Wayans.
 
2013-01-11 01:30:56 PM  

Saiga410: Dr.Zom: that goes on for what feels like hours, all to the sound of silence.

As in no real sound or the simon and garfunkle song?


Well, that would have been kind of funny, so I'm guessing actual silence.
 
2013-01-11 01:34:27 PM  

scottydoesntknow: His best movie was Grandma's Boy


He was in Reno 911: Miami, right? That was Nick Swardson's best movie.

And I see that Comedy Central is making all the same mistakes with Nick Kroll that they did with him.
 
2013-01-11 01:37:17 PM  

poot_rootbeer: scottydoesntknow: His best movie was Grandma's Boy

He was in Reno 911: Miami, right? That was Nick Swardson's best movie.

And I see that Comedy Central is making all the same mistakes with Nick Kroll that they did with him.


He's getting too overexposed. I was much happier having him as the smarmy, douchebag lawyer on The League. Seeing him try to create other characters looks like it'll be painful.
 
2013-01-11 01:45:39 PM  
I think it'd be easier to find the least embarrassing movie he's made
 
2013-01-11 01:48:39 PM  

poot_rootbeer: scottydoesntknow: His best movie was Grandma's Boy

He was in Reno 911: Miami, right? That was Nick Swardson's best movie.

And I see that Comedy Central is making all the same mistakes with Nick Kroll that they did with him.


Comedy Central is doing what broadcast networks did in the 90s. You made one good standup special? You need a sitcom sketch comedy show

//Nick Swardson's best movie was Almost Famous
 
2013-01-11 01:51:37 PM  
This thread has really driven the home the point that Marlon Wayans shouldn't be allowed to make movies.
 
2013-01-11 02:03:42 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Of course not subby, that title will always belong to this monstrosity:

[netflix.hs.llnwd.net image 284x405]


What? The movie was hilarious. Screw you.

It really is awkward seeing gender-reversal movies, but as far as those go, this one was pretty good.

Marlon Wayans is a national treasure. Screw all of you guys.
 
2013-01-11 02:08:31 PM  

poot_rootbeer: He was in Reno 911: Miami, right? That was Nick Swardson's best movie.


Was also The Rock', Paul Rudds, and Patton Oswalts best movie
 
2013-01-11 02:08:56 PM  
The good news is that the god awful trailers for this will finally taper off this weekend.
 
2013-01-11 02:12:05 PM  
I'm sure the movie is awful, but I'm waiting for a documentary on the experience of watching the movie in a theater in, let's say, Greenbelt, MD.

Lot's of "fan participation" for sure.
 
2013-01-11 02:17:58 PM  

thurstonxhowell: This thread has really driven the home the point that Marlon Wayans shouldn't be allowed to make movies.


Because they're shiat? Nonsense. Then almost nothing would be made. If I had it my way, half the oscar nominees would be delivering chinese food. Musicals? Paul Thomas Anderson? Equally shiat.
 
2013-01-11 02:20:13 PM  

moothemagiccow: I think it'd be easier to find the least embarrassing movie he's made


Has to be Requiem for a Dream
 
2013-01-11 02:20:43 PM  
GI Joe was pretty bad.
 
2013-01-11 02:21:59 PM  
94% of the people that saw it liked it...
 
2013-01-11 02:25:02 PM  
The Ladykillers: Where a Wayans can make a Cohen brothers movie unwatchable.

Granted there were other things wrong with the movie but god he sucked so bad in every one of his scenes
 
2013-01-11 02:25:57 PM  

scottydoesntknow: chechcal: The commercials for this and "Movie 43" keep running back-to-back, so I've been wondering what in the hell Halle Barry and Emma Stone were doing in this piece of shiat.

Looking at Movie 43, however, I think I'm going to be wondering how in the hell Halle Barry and Emma Stone ended up in that piece of shiat.

I'm willing to give it a chance right now. The commercials are underwhelming, but it's got a hell of a lot of good actors in it.


The red-band trailer is funnier than the standard trailer. Cuba Gooding's rant made me LOL.
 
2013-01-11 02:34:21 PM  

Lollipop165: I liked Scary Movie 2.


I did too.

/Hiawatha!
 
2013-01-11 02:36:08 PM  
Here's something I don't get about Black culture... I see ads for a Black people's dating site called BlackPeopleMeet dot com which only allows Black people to sign up. Nobody seems to be upset by this. But if there was a site called WhitePeopleMeet dot com, and it only allowed white people to sign up, there would be protests, lawsuits, and possible riots when the lawsuits were over (win or lose).

So my question is this: What is the best way to remove grass stains from a silk shirt?
 
2013-01-11 02:38:19 PM  

slayer199: 94% of the people that saw it liked it...


No, read the comments here and there. 94% of the people who were looking forward to it (for some godfersaken reason) rated it "Fresh" and then wrote comments like "Yo dis moovie looks hilarious Im gona see it next week!!"
 
2013-01-11 02:45:46 PM  

ZeroCorpse: slayer199: 94% of the people that saw it liked it...

No, read the comments here and there. 94% of the people who were looking forward to it (for some godfersaken reason) rated it "Fresh" and then wrote comments like "Yo dis moovie looks hilarious Im gona see it next week!!"


I was going to say....

The sad thing is it will likely be profitable because the budget was probably relatively small.
 
2013-01-11 02:47:20 PM  

Cybernetic: Cuba Gooding's rant made me LOL.


Wrong handsome black man.

/2nd time in this thread, is this becoming a running gag?
 
2013-01-11 02:48:16 PM  

ZeroCorpse:
So my question is this: What is the best way to remove grass stains from a silk shirt?


Oxy-clean stain stick. In a worst case scenario, apply palmolive or dawn dishwashing liquid, but not sure how that applies to silk.
 
2013-01-11 02:48:36 PM  

HoboCop: moothemagiccow: I think it'd be easier to find the least embarrassing movie he's made

Has to be Requiem for a Dream


Agreed, that movie is a harrowing watch (especially the last 20 minutes) and Wayans was uncharacteristically good in that.
 
2013-01-11 02:49:23 PM  
This movie looks horrible, and I would never, EVER watch it. That being said, for some reason, SOME farkING REASON, the "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FURNITURE CUZ?!" guy in the trailer cracks me up EVERY. DAMN. TIME.
 
2013-01-11 03:00:03 PM  

slayer199: 94% of the people that saw it liked it...


9 out of 10 people also like gang rape. That doesn't mean it's a good thing.
 
2013-01-11 03:05:09 PM  

Lollipop165: Saiga410: Lollipop165: I liked Scary Movie 2.

Is that the one with the redhead?

Yep. What ever happened to her?


She's still around, seems to do a lot of television parts. Also, she had cleavage monkeys in Tin Man.

i1126.photobucket.com

Seriously, flying monkeys flew out of her cleavage.
 
2013-01-11 03:14:29 PM  
Well the audience liked it at 94%, most likely because those who went to see it liked the Wayans style of comedy.  I never pay attention to what a film critic has to say about a movie. They watch movies for a living, sometimes 3-4 a day, 5 days a week.  If I watched that many movies, especially in genres I wasn't particularly fond of, it would take a lot to impress me too. Why anyone gives a rats ass what a film critic has to say is beyond me.
 
2013-01-11 03:18:03 PM  

bhcompy: Was also The Rock', Paul Rudds, and Patton Oswalts best movie


When the Rock's character appeared in Fast Five, I expected him to meet the same fate as his character in Reno 911: Miami, and was disappointed when he didn't.

Paul Rudd's best movie is Wet Hot American Summer, and Patton's best is Big Fan.
 
2013-01-11 03:28:05 PM  

thurstonxhowell: This thread has really driven the home the point that Marlon Wayans people on Fark shouldn't be allowed to make watch or talk about movies.

 
2013-01-11 03:34:53 PM  

Carth: Only 8 reviews. Bucky Larson managed to stay at 0% with 35.


Bucky Larson: Born To Be A Star deserves a zero. It's not even worth a RiffTrax.
 
2013-01-11 03:38:15 PM  

movieman_1979: HoboCop: moothemagiccow: I think it'd be easier to find the least embarrassing movie he's made

Has to be Requiem for a Dream

Agreed, that movie is a harrowing watch (especially the last 20 minutes) and Wayans was uncharacteristically good in that.


see?
 
2013-01-11 03:42:08 PM  

bhcompy: poot_rootbeer: He was in Reno 911: Miami, right? That was Nick Swardson's best movie.

Was also The Rock', Paul Rudds, and Patton Oswalts best movie


horseshiat. The Rock was in The Other Guys, I'd watch Paul Rudd in parts written for Marlon Wayans
 
2013-01-11 03:51:08 PM  
I have a feeling the people who go see these kinds of flicks aren't to concerned about the critics opinion.
 
2013-01-11 04:01:57 PM  

slayer199: ZeroCorpse: slayer199: 94% of the people that saw it liked it...

No, read the comments here and there. 94% of the people who were looking forward to it (for some godfersaken reason) rated it "Fresh" and then wrote comments like "Yo dis moovie looks hilarious Im gona see it next week!!"

I was going to say....

The sad thing is it will likely be profitable because the budget was probably relatively small.


It looks like it was meant to go straight to DVD, but the studio was contractually obligated to release it theatrically.
Probably why they put it in the January garbage dump.

Between, Les Mis, The Hobbit, Django, and Zero Dark Thirty getting a wide release, this movie will be lucky to crack the top 5 this weekend.

As for Nick Swardson, Nick Swardson is not funny. He never has been. He's proof that being Adam Sandler's friend is a career in Hollywood.
 
2013-01-11 04:04:25 PM  

Spanky_McFarksalot: I have a feeling the people who go see these kinds of flicks aren't to concerned about the critics opinion.


Or their own mental well being
 
2013-01-11 04:30:08 PM  

scottydoesntknow: chechcal: The commercials for this and "Movie 43" keep running back-to-back, so I've been wondering what in the hell Halle Barry and Emma Stone were doing in this piece of shiat.

Looking at Movie 43, however, I think I'm going to be wondering how in the hell Halle Barry and Emma Stone ended up in that piece of shiat.

I'm willing to give it a chance right now. The commercials are underwhelming, but it's got a hell of a lot of good actors in it.

Ensemble Cast:

Hugh Jackman
Emma Stone as Ellen Malloy
Chloë Grace Moretz
Gerard Butler as Chaun
Elizabeth Banks
Kristen Bell as Supergirl
Naomi Watts
Chris Pratt as Jason
Kate Winslet as Juliet Hulme
Anna Faris as Vanessa
Halle Berry
Richard Gere as Boss
Josh Duhamel
Uma Thurman as Lois Lane
Christopher Mintz-Plasse
Patrick Warburton
Seann William Scott
Liev Schreiber
Justin Long as Robin
Kieran Culkin
Kate Bosworth as Arlene
Jason Sudeikis as Batman
Leslie Bibb as Wonder Woman
Bobby Cannavale as Superman
Terrence Howard Tony Shalhoub
Johnny Knoxville
Jack McBrayer as Brian
Jimmy Bennett
Matt Walsh as Amanda's Dad
Stephen Merchant as Donald
Emily Alyn Lind as Birthday Girl
Jeremy Allen White as Kevin Metzger
Martin Klebba as Killer Chaun
Aasif Mandvi as Asif
Julie Ann Emery as Claire
Beth Littleford as Mrs. Cutler
Mark L. Young as Calvin
Nate Hartley as Stevie Schraeder
John Hodgman as The Penguin
Julie Claire as Pam


Kate Winslet as Juliet Hulme

I see what they did there.
 
2013-01-11 04:46:33 PM  

Arachnophobe: She's still around, seems to do a lot of television parts. Also, she had cleavage monkeys in Tin Man.


Assuming it wasn't a body double, she got naked (a LOT) in two seasons of Boss on Starz.
 
2013-01-11 04:46:44 PM  

tlchwi02: scottydoesntknow: I'm willing to give it a chance right now. The commercials are underwhelming, but it's got a hell of a lot of good actors in it.

since its a serious of vignettes, each directed by a different person and staring different people its bound to be hit or miss, but if it hits 50% of the time even it will be worth a rental. Also from what i can tell the commercials are useless. the red band trailer is necessary to start to get an idea of what they are going for.


You should check out Kentucky Fried Movie. Seriously, watch that movie.
 
2013-01-11 04:56:39 PM  
Don't be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood was one of the funniest movies ever. That is all.
 
2013-01-11 05:01:28 PM  
Every time I see the previews for this movie I can just picture exactly what the audience in that theatre is going to look like and they're dying of laughter at every scene.
 
2013-01-11 05:02:54 PM  

The Angry Hand of God: Don't be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood was one of the funniest movies ever. That is all.


Hurry up n buy!
 
2013-01-11 05:09:45 PM  
can't be worse than white chicks.

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-01-11 05:12:05 PM  

Sybarite: The big problem with going to a movie on Christmas Day was the barrage of trailers for the terrible crap being released after the beginning of the year. I saw the trailer for A Haunted House along with one for another Scary Movie sequel...


Speaking of that, did you catch the joke blatantly ripped off from Idiocracy? The one with the tubes that go in your mouth and butt? At first I thought, "Do they really think they can get away with that?" Than I realized the audience for this movie is the same as the one Idiocracy was mocking.
 
2013-01-11 05:33:13 PM  

hipswiggle: You should check out Kentucky Fried Movie. Seriously, watch that movie.


Especially the "Catholic School Girls in Trouble" segment.

/on loop.
 
2013-01-11 05:44:00 PM  

Carth: Only 8 reviews. Bucky Larson managed to stay at 0% with 35.


Five of which were Top Critics. If you're a "top critic" and your editor assigns you to review a Wayans movie, it's time to turn in your star.
 
2013-01-11 06:53:27 PM  

scottydoesntknow: poot_rootbeer: scottydoesntknow: His best movie was Grandma's Boy

He was in Reno 911: Miami, right? That was Nick Swardson's best movie.

And I see that Comedy Central is making all the same mistakes with Nick Kroll that they did with him.

He's getting too overexposed. I was much happier having him as the smarmy, douchebag lawyer on The League. Seeing him try to create other characters looks like it'll be painful.


The only thing from "funny or die" I ever found funny:
hyreviews.com

/how is that site still up? shouldn't they all be dead by now?
 
2013-01-11 06:55:12 PM  

ZeroCorpse: Here's something I don't get about Black culture... I see ads for a Black people's dating site called BlackPeopleMeet dot com which only allows Black people to sign up. Nobody seems to be upset by this. But if there was a site called WhitePeopleMeet dot com, and it only allowed white people to sign up, there would be protests, lawsuits, and possible riots when the lawsuits were over (win or lose).

So my question is this: What is the best way to remove grass stains from a silk shirt?


You might get away with IrishPeopleMeet.com or ItalianPeopleMeet.com. Many black people tend not to know their cultural heritage beyond the United States, so they can't narrow their ethnicity down like many white people can. Gee, I wonder why.
 
2013-01-11 07:12:43 PM  

Mouthoy: Scary Movie 2 is the only movie I have seen with the correct reaction to a horror scene. I am referring to James Woods, after seeing the girl spin her head around, Exorcist-style : "fark THIS!"

/oops, forgot: spoiler alert!


THIS

And don't be a menace to south central while drinking your juice in the hood was great too

/ding dong
// nubians
 
2013-01-11 07:15:08 PM  

natural316: Mouthoy: Scary Movie 2 is the only movie I have seen with the correct reaction to a horror scene. I am referring to James Woods, after seeing the girl spin her head around, Exorcist-style : "fark THIS!"

/oops, forgot: spoiler alert!

THIS

And don't be a menace to south central while drinking your juice in the hood was great too

/ding dong
// nubians


Auto correct

nubians
 
2013-01-11 07:15:45 PM  

natural316: natural316: Mouthoy: Scary Movie 2 is the only movie I have seen with the correct reaction to a horror scene. I am referring to James Woods, after seeing the girl spin her head around, Exorcist-style : "fark THIS!"

/oops, forgot: spoiler alert!

THIS

And don't be a menace to south central while drinking your juice in the hood was great too

/ding dong
// nubians

Auto correct

nubians


Forget it, you all know what I mean
 
2013-01-11 07:49:10 PM  

chechcal: The commercials for this and "Movie 43" keep running back-to-back, so I've been wondering what in the hell Halle Barry and Emma Stone were doing in this piece of shiat.

Looking at Movie 43, however, I think I'm going to be wondering how in the hell Halle Barry and Emma Stone ended up in that piece of shiat.


Halle Barry can't act.
 
2013-01-11 08:01:54 PM  
he and eddie murphy are off somewhere together alternately crying and smoking crack.
 
2013-01-11 08:02:51 PM  

Carth: Only 8 reviews. Bucky Larson managed to stay at 0% with 35.


It's no Bucky Larson. Someone from EW gave "A Haunted House" a B-, so now it's up to 6 percent.
 
2013-01-11 08:18:51 PM  

monohombre: Scary Movie 1 and 2 were good, the series took a nosedive after the wayans left.


I like 3 and 4 the most.

I was just sitting here and... YAHTZEE!!! (THUD)
 
2013-01-11 08:33:05 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: 94% of the audience liked it.
Since critics don't pay for movie tickets, I'd say he's targeting the right demographic.


You can never go broke underestimating the stupidity of the American public.
 
2013-01-11 08:37:35 PM  

Dwight_Yeast: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: 94% of the audience liked it.
Since critics don't pay for movie tickets, I'd say he's targeting the right demographic.

You can never go broke underestimating the stupidity of the American public.


A sentiment that got Michael Bay a mansion and 2 Ferraris.
 
2013-01-11 08:37:59 PM  

Dwight_Yeast: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: 94% of the audience liked it.
Since critics don't pay for movie tickets, I'd say he's targeting the right demographic.

You can never go broke underestimating the stupidity of the American public.


First of all, it's 17,000 online reviews. 17,000 people is the American public now?

Second of all, go fark yourself.
 
2013-01-11 08:42:20 PM  

B.L.Z. Bub: ZeroCorpse: Here's something I don't get about Black culture... I see ads for a Black people's dating site called BlackPeopleMeet dot com which only allows Black people to sign up. Nobody seems to be upset by this. But if there was a site called WhitePeopleMeet dot com, and it only allowed white people to sign up, there would be protests, lawsuits, and possible riots when the lawsuits were over (win or lose).

So my question is this: What is the best way to remove grass stains from a silk shirt?

You might get away with IrishPeopleMeet.com or ItalianPeopleMeet.com. Many black people tend not to know their cultural heritage beyond the United States, so they can't narrow their ethnicity down like many white people can. Gee, I wonder why.


So you're saying I should have an Irish or Italian person wash my shirt?
 
2013-01-11 08:46:39 PM  
Since this went green, the audience score went from 94% to 91% and critic reviews went from 0/8 fresh to 1/18
 
2013-01-11 09:12:56 PM  

ZeroCorpse: BlackPeopleMeet dot com which only allows Black people to sign up.


Bullshiat. There are tons of whites and Hispanics on there. I was on Blackplanet.com years back and ran across quite a few black women who wanted white men only. Migente.com(Hispanic) was the same. Hell I am atheist and was able to join a Muslim dating site Muslima.com for shiats and giggles
 
2013-01-11 09:25:05 PM  

ZeroCorpse: Here's something I don't get about Black culture... I see ads for a Black people's dating site called BlackPeopleMeet dot com which only allows Black people to sign up. Nobody seems to be upset by this. But if there was a site called WhitePeopleMeet dot com, and it only allowed white people to sign up, there would be protests, lawsuits, and possible riots when the lawsuits were over (win or lose).

So my question is this: What is the best way to remove grass stains from a silk shirt?


A mixture of club soda and dish-washing detergent before the stain sets in. Machine wash or dry clean as usual.
 
2013-01-11 09:30:31 PM  
No, that would be Dungeons & Dragons.
 
2013-01-11 09:42:05 PM  

hipswiggle: You should check out Kentucky Fried Movie. Seriously, watch that movie.


i own it. sadly on VHS, but still
 
2013-01-11 10:59:35 PM  
These movies are aimed at, and will always make money from, a specific demographic: Middle schoolers.
 
2013-01-12 12:37:46 AM  

Shadowtag: karnal: Marlon Wayans is a poor white man's Richard Pryor.

Marlon Wayans isn't even a poor white man's Damon Wayans.


That poor man would be "hobo sucking off diseased meth addicts for Drano" level destitute
 
2013-01-12 01:17:06 AM  

LesserEvil: Wow, only 94% of the audiences liked it.

Shame on you Marlon!


The movie's been out a day. You're getting feedback from people who insisted on opening night.
 
2013-01-12 01:47:28 AM  
I liked "Senseless"

/Might be due to lack of his usual "schtick"
 
2013-01-12 02:31:01 AM  
Critics poorly review most comedies unless they are of the Woody Allen variety.
 
2013-01-12 02:35:10 AM  

Well I use Mac/Linux...: This movie looks horrible, and I would never, EVER watch it. That being said, for some reason, SOME farkING REASON, the "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FURNITURE CUZ?!" guy in the trailer cracks me up EVERY. DAMN. TIME.


hahah, same here man, I don't know why. I've seen that comedian in other movies and I always like his shiat, but have no idea what his name is.
 
2013-01-12 03:48:37 AM  

B.L.Z. Bub: ZeroCorpse: Here's something I don't get about Black culture... I see ads for a Black people's dating site called BlackPeopleMeet dot com which only allows Black people to sign up. Nobody seems to be upset by this. But if there was a site called WhitePeopleMeet dot com, and it only allowed white people to sign up, there would be protests, lawsuits, and possible riots when the lawsuits were over (win or lose).

So my question is this: What is the best way to remove grass stains from a silk shirt?

You might get away with IrishPeopleMeet.com or ItalianPeopleMeet.com. Many black people tend not to know their cultural heritage beyond the United States, so they can't narrow their ethnicity down like many white people can. Gee, I wonder why.



Because they dont use ancestry.com?
 
2013-01-12 04:37:38 AM  
"All these critics don't understand today's generation when it comes to humor!! What is wrong with these people?! I guess they don't appreciate the success of the Wayans brothers at all! I loved each and every single scene in this movie! And if u are into crude humor, which apparently most of these critics aren't, please see this movie!!"

I hate humanity
 
2013-01-12 04:38:53 AM  

ThatDarkFellow: I hate humanity


Stupid shiat is often times funny. It's the same reason farts are funny.
 
2013-01-12 04:58:08 AM  
Essence? Really??

Just go with The Onion and call her Newport.

Unless the name arrived just after the darling baby's first beef.
 
j4x [TotalFark]
2013-01-12 05:11:57 AM  

poot_rootbeer: scottydoesntknow: His best movie was Grandma's Boy

He was in Reno 911: Miami, right? That was Nick Swardson's best movie.

And I see that Comedy Central is making all the same mistakes with Nick Kroll that they did with him.


Reno 911: Miami was a work of art.

http://youtu.be/M_pXPf9pd6g

The suckfest bit was the greatest bit in the history of Reno 911 when you notice the hotel manager is Artie, the Strongest Man in the World.
 
2013-01-12 05:33:37 AM  

ZeroCorpse: Here's something I don't get about Black culture... I see ads for a Black people's dating site called BlackPeopleMeet dot com which only allows Black people to sign up. Nobody seems to be upset by this. But if there was a site called WhitePeopleMeet dot com, and it only allowed white people to sign up, there would be protests, lawsuits, and possible riots when the lawsuits were over (win or lose).

So my question is this: What is the best way to remove grass stains from a silk shirt?


This is actually so funny that I'm worried that there other people out there that are this funny - which would mean that I am not even remotely funny. I hope for my sake that you are an anomoly, and that this quality of humor is as hard to find as I'd imagined it to be.
 
2013-01-12 09:00:27 AM  

browntimmy: Sybarite: The big problem with going to a movie on Christmas Day was the barrage of trailers for the terrible crap being released after the beginning of the year. I saw the trailer for A Haunted House along with one for another Scary Movie sequel...

Speaking of that, did you catch the joke blatantly ripped off from Idiocracy? The one with the tubes that go in your mouth and butt? At first I thought, "Do they really think they can get away with that?" Than I realized the audience for this movie is the same as the one Idiocracy was mocking.



Yeah, I caught that; so blatant.
 
2013-01-12 09:27:23 AM  
I won't be seeing it, but Cedric makes me laugh. What can you do.

/I nailed his ass
 
2013-01-12 12:33:54 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Lost Thought 00: Nick Swardson's kiss of death strikes again

His best movie was Grandma's Boy


Thought he was used well in Blades of Glory
 
2013-01-12 04:21:20 PM  

TheJoe03: Critics poorly review most comedies unless they are of the Woody Allen variety.


This. I don't mean to praise lowbrow humor, but a majority of the time critics praise a comedy, it's the sort of comedy that you dissected in English class, Tartuffe for instance, where they get to point out examples of dramatic irony. Wag the Dog may be a middling example. I don't remember cracking a smile even once during it, but I could have sworn critics thought it was the funniest thing since Marcel Marceau was struck with a pie. Certainly, the premise is risible, and I suppose prescient to events that were happening concurrently in the real world, but nothing that rose above a clucking of the tongue, a swirl of the brandy glass and a mild"eh, that's clever."

Don't mark me too stupid though, I love Jeeves and Wooster.
 
2013-01-12 04:53:31 PM  
Saw it with my teen nephew and two of his friends (his birthday and their movie choice). I think I was the oldest person in the theatre. A sell-out crowd of teens and pre-teens, all of whom laughed uproariously at fart jokes, dick jokes, and some of the most vile racism I've seen on screen since Song of the South ("Mandingo party"? Really?). I can't believe Django Unchained is arousing more opprobrium than this piece of crap. The actors in this movie must have been hella broke to consent to appearing in it.
 
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