FARK.com: (7530515) A Haunted House is out, the reviews are in, and Scary Movie 2 is no longer the most embarrassing thing on Marlon Wayans resume

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		A Haunted House is out, the reviews are in, and Scary Movie 2 is no longer the most embarrassing thing on Marlon Wayans resume (rottentomatoes.com)		120
		More: Fail, Marlon Wayans, survival horror, Paranormal Activity, resumes, found footage

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6070 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 11 Jan 2013 at 12:13 PM | Favorite | share:

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scottydoesntknow		2013-01-11 12:05:13 PM

Of course not subby, that title will always belong to this monstrosity:

netflix.hs.llnwd.net

Sybarite		2013-01-11 12:18:05 PM

The big problem with going to a movie on Christmas Day was the barrage of trailers for the terrible crap being released after the beginning of the year. I saw the trailer for A Haunted House along with one for another Scary Movie sequel where pretty much every joke was also about Paranormal Activity, as well as some new thriller that appears to be a pretty blatant rip-off of PA.

Zombie DJ		2013-01-11 12:20:11 PM

I saw an extended shot a while back.
I couldn't believe people acted on this for money.
It looked like a high school prank to upload on Youtube.

Broken Logic		2013-01-11 12:23:04 PM

Ghost balls. Really? REALLY?

/really

Abe Vigoda's Ghost		2013-01-11 12:23:13 PM

94% of the audience liked it.
Since critics don't pay for movie tickets, I'd say he's targeting the right demographic.

LesserEvil		2013-01-11 12:23:21 PM

Wow, only 94% of the audiences liked it.

Shame on you Marlon!

Carth		2013-01-11 12:25:21 PM

Only 8 reviews. Bucky Larson managed to stay at 0% with 35.

bhcompy		2013-01-11 12:30:57 PM

scottydoesntknow: Of course not subby, that title will always belong to this monstrosity:

[netflix.hs.llnwd.net image 284x405]

Terry Crews made that movie worth watching.

ConConHead		2013-01-11 12:33:15 PM

94% of the audience knew exactly what they were getting and apparently got that. The rest of us know better than to waste our time/money on this shiat.

Champion of the Sun		2013-01-11 12:38:28 PM

I thought getting married to Mariah Carey and being her biatch was the most embarrassing thing on his resume

CatfoodSpork		2013-01-11 12:39:53 PM

Did the Wayanses have a falling out with the Scary Movie people? What's the story there?

spottymax		2013-01-11 12:40:32 PM

I watched a commercial for it and the review line where someone said it was the "Funniest Movie Ever" was from a twitter account.

scottydoesntknow		2013-01-11 12:40:53 PM

Champion of the Sun: I thought getting married to Mariah Carey and being her biatch was the most embarrassing thing on his resume

Wrong skinny black guy.

The1andonlyZack		2013-01-11 12:41:18 PM

Champion of the Sun: I thought getting married to Mariah Carey and being her biatch was the most embarrassing thing on his resume

...Nick Cannon is not Marlon Wayans.

chechcal		2013-01-11 12:41:29 PM

The commercials for this and "Movie 43" keep running back-to-back, so I've been wondering what in the hell Halle Barry and Emma Stone were doing in this piece of shiat.

Looking at Movie 43, however, I think I'm going to be wondering how in the hell Halle Barry and Emma Stone ended up in that piece of shiat.

Lollipop165		2013-01-11 12:43:58 PM

I liked Scary Movie 2.

gunga galunga		2013-01-11 12:45:02 PM

CatfoodSpork: Did the Wayanses have a falling out with the Scary Movie people? What's the story there?

No story. They moved on and Dimension handed the franchise over to David Zucker, who was once making movies like Airplane and The Naked Gun, but is now making movies this and American Carol.

Saiga410		2013-01-11 12:51:37 PM

Lollipop165: I liked Scary Movie 2.

Is that the one with the redhead?

Walker		2013-01-11 12:52:09 PM

LesserEvil: Wow, only 94% of the audiences liked it.

Shame on you Marlon!

All the kids on Facebook are talking about it and want to see it. In other news....kids are stupid.

Mouthoy		2013-01-11 12:52:55 PM

Scary Movie 2 is the only movie I have seen with the correct reaction to a horror scene. I am referring to James Woods, after seeing the girl spin her head around, Exorcist-style : "fark THIS!"

/oops, forgot: spoiler alert!

Lost Thought 00		2013-01-11 12:53:08 PM

Nick Swardson's kiss of death strikes again

scottydoesntknow		2013-01-11 12:55:25 PM

chechcal: The commercials for this and "Movie 43" keep running back-to-back, so I've been wondering what in the hell Halle Barry and Emma Stone were doing in this piece of shiat.

Looking at Movie 43, however, I think I'm going to be wondering how in the hell Halle Barry and Emma Stone ended up in that piece of shiat.

I'm willing to give it a chance right now. The commercials are underwhelming, but it's got a hell of a lot of good actors in it.

Ensemble Cast:

Hugh Jackman
Emma Stone as Ellen Malloy
Chloë Grace Moretz
Gerard Butler as Chaun
Elizabeth Banks
Kristen Bell as Supergirl
Naomi Watts
Chris Pratt as Jason
Kate Winslet as Juliet Hulme
Anna Faris as Vanessa
Halle Berry
Richard Gere as Boss
Josh Duhamel
Uma Thurman as Lois Lane
Christopher Mintz-Plasse
Patrick Warburton
Seann William Scott
Liev Schreiber
Justin Long as Robin
Kieran Culkin
Kate Bosworth as Arlene
Jason Sudeikis as Batman
Leslie Bibb as Wonder Woman
Bobby Cannavale as Superman
Terrence Howard Tony Shalhoub
Johnny Knoxville
Jack McBrayer as Brian
Jimmy Bennett
Matt Walsh as Amanda's Dad
Stephen Merchant as Donald
Emily Alyn Lind as Birthday Girl
Jeremy Allen White as Kevin Metzger
Martin Klebba as Killer Chaun
Aasif Mandvi as Asif
Julie Ann Emery as Claire
Beth Littleford as Mrs. Cutler
Mark L. Young as Calvin
Nate Hartley as Stevie Schraeder
John Hodgman as The Penguin
Julie Claire as Pam

scottydoesntknow		2013-01-11 12:56:07 PM

Lost Thought 00: Nick Swardson's kiss of death strikes again

His best movie was Grandma's Boy

astro716		2013-01-11 12:56:36 PM

Has Armond White reviewed it yet?

tlchwi02		2013-01-11 12:59:55 PM

scottydoesntknow: I'm willing to give it a chance right now. The commercials are underwhelming, but it's got a hell of a lot of good actors in it.

since its a serious of vignettes, each directed by a different person and staring different people its bound to be hit or miss, but if it hits 50% of the time even it will be worth a rental. Also from what i can tell the commercials are useless. the red band trailer is necessary to start to get an idea of what they are going for.

ItchyMcDoogle		2013-01-11 01:01:36 PM

I remember sitting with some co-workers and talking about what type of movies they liked. One said they ONLY like those scary and epic movies. All of them.
I promptly got up from the table and never talked to that co-worker again

movieman_1979		2013-01-11 01:05:19 PM

Subby here, MY FIRST GREENLIGHT! I'd like to thank the academy!

halfof33		2013-01-11 01:05:19 PM

This green light is in pretty farking poor farking taste seeing as how Marlon Wayans died.

Seriously, REPORTED.

monohombre		2013-01-11 01:06:02 PM

Scary Movie 1 and 2 were good, the series took a nosedive after the wayans left.

movieman_1979		2013-01-11 01:06:47 PM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: 94% of the audience liked it.
Since critics don't pay for movie tickets, I'd say he's targeting the right demographic.

I think the makers of such shiat as "Meet The Spartans" and "Epic Movie" have been milking that train for years now

scottydoesntknow		2013-01-11 01:07:08 PM

ItchyMcDoogle: I remember sitting with some co-workers and talking about what type of movies they liked. One said they ONLY like those scary and epic movies. All of them.
I promptly got up from the table and never talked to that co-worker again

Heh, you reminded me of that speed dating comic:

geektyrant.com

karnal		2013-01-11 01:08:00 PM

Marlon Wayans is a poor white man's Richard Pryor.

Lollipop165		2013-01-11 01:12:23 PM

Saiga410: Lollipop165: I liked Scary Movie 2.

Is that the one with the redhead?

Yep. What ever happened to her?

Dr.Zom		2013-01-11 01:12:32 PM

When an 80-minute theatrical film in 2012 is just an extended, less funny and less clever rip-off of a four-minute stand-up routine that's nearly 30 years old, that's as clear a sign to get out of the theater as a fountain of blood from the pipes is a clear sign to vacate the premises in a horror film.

Snort.

What's surprising here is how lazy "A Haunted House" is, doing away with the relative polish of "Scary Movie" to merely stitch together fart jokes and abysmal improvisations, gradually doing away with any type of connective tissue or, in the final act, elementary moviemaking coherence.

When your movie has less polish than a SM, you've got problems. Maybe they meant Polish.

Malcolm defecating on his girlfriend's father's ashes and humping stuffed dogs? That's found footage that never should have been created in the first place.

I love bad reviews.

There's a four-way sex scene with Malcolm and three stuffed animals that goes on for what feels like hours, all to the sound of silence.

Saiga410		2013-01-11 01:16:13 PM

Dr.Zom: that goes on for what feels like hours, all to the sound of silence.

As in no real sound or the simon and garfunkle song?

the_vegetarian_cannibal		2013-01-11 01:17:55 PM

scottydoesntknow: Of course not subby, that title will always belong to this monstrosity:

[netflix.hs.llnwd.net image 284x405]

You forgot:
0.tqn.com

Nurglitch		2013-01-11 01:24:34 PM

Which Scary Movie was the one with the dreadlock pubes on the beauty contestant? I actually paid to see that one in theatres.

GriffXX		2013-01-11 01:26:23 PM

I was curious about the whole 94% thing and actually started reading the audience reviews:

I know it's going to be another stupid parody movie, but I don't care. I think it'll get a few laughs out of me.

i wont to see this movie so bad yall yall just dont know how funy this movie is REAL TAWK......!!!!!!

This movie is probably going to be a disaster, but Im seeing it anyway.

Ok, so people who haven't actually seen it skewing the curve. Nice.

the_vegetarian_cannibal		2013-01-11 01:29:13 PM

Saiga410: Lollipop165: I liked Scary Movie 2.

Is that the one with the redhead?

Oh yeah (mildly NSFW)

Shadowtag		2013-01-11 01:29:27 PM

karnal: Marlon Wayans is a poor white man's Richard Pryor.

Marlon Wayans isn't even a poor white man's Damon Wayans.

Dr.Zom		2013-01-11 01:30:56 PM

Saiga410: Dr.Zom: that goes on for what feels like hours, all to the sound of silence.

As in no real sound or the simon and garfunkle song?

Well, that would have been kind of funny, so I'm guessing actual silence.

poot_rootbeer		2013-01-11 01:34:27 PM

scottydoesntknow: His best movie was Grandma's Boy

He was in Reno 911: Miami, right? That was Nick Swardson's best movie.

And I see that Comedy Central is making all the same mistakes with Nick Kroll that they did with him.

scottydoesntknow		2013-01-11 01:37:17 PM

poot_rootbeer: scottydoesntknow: His best movie was Grandma's Boy

He was in Reno 911: Miami, right? That was Nick Swardson's best movie.

And I see that Comedy Central is making all the same mistakes with Nick Kroll that they did with him.

He's getting too overexposed. I was much happier having him as the smarmy, douchebag lawyer on The League. Seeing him try to create other characters looks like it'll be painful.

moothemagiccow		2013-01-11 01:45:39 PM

I think it'd be easier to find the least embarrassing movie he's made

moothemagiccow		2013-01-11 01:48:39 PM

poot_rootbeer: scottydoesntknow: His best movie was Grandma's Boy

He was in Reno 911: Miami, right? That was Nick Swardson's best movie.

And I see that Comedy Central is making all the same mistakes with Nick Kroll that they did with him.

Comedy Central is doing what broadcast networks did in the 90s. You made one good standup special? You need a ~~sitcom~~ sketch comedy show

//Nick Swardson's best movie was Almost Famous

thurstonxhowell		2013-01-11 01:51:37 PM

This thread has really driven the home the point that Marlon Wayans shouldn't be allowed to make movies.

The Banana Thug		2013-01-11 02:03:42 PM

scottydoesntknow: Of course not subby, that title will always belong to this monstrosity:

[netflix.hs.llnwd.net image 284x405]

What? The movie was hilarious. Screw you.

It really is awkward seeing gender-reversal movies, but as far as those go, this one was pretty good.

Marlon Wayans is a national treasure. Screw all of you guys.

bhcompy		2013-01-11 02:08:31 PM

poot_rootbeer: He was in Reno 911: Miami, right? That was Nick Swardson's best movie.

Was also The Rock', Paul Rudds, and Patton Oswalts best movie

GoodyearPimp		2013-01-11 02:08:56 PM

The good news is that the god awful trailers for this will finally taper off this weekend.

Yanks_RSJ		2013-01-11 02:12:05 PM

I'm sure the movie is awful, but I'm waiting for a documentary on the experience of watching the movie in a theater in, let's say, Greenbelt, MD.

Lot's of "fan participation" for sure.

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