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(Gizmodo)   Now YOU TOO can send a Facebook message to Mark Zuckerberg for the low LOW price of only $100   (gizmodo.com) divider line 30
    More: Stupid, Facebook Messages, Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook, Mashable  
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2720 clicks; posted to Geek » on 11 Jan 2013 at 12:15 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



30 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-01-11 11:53:45 AM  
Help me write a letter:

Dear Mark,
 
2013-01-11 11:56:07 AM  
Total Facebook
 
2013-01-11 11:57:16 AM  

Because People in power are Stupid: Help me write a letter:

Dear Mark,


First, you are receiving this message at the handsome cost of 100 smackeroos to myself.
 
2013-01-11 12:18:04 PM  

DeltaPunch: Because People in power are Stupid: Help me write a letter:

Dear Mark,

First, you are receiving this message at the handsome cost of 100 smackeroos to myself.


So I figure why not pay in some facebook stock I'd bought and adjust it for the price you claimed it was going to be worth.
 
2013-01-11 12:20:29 PM  

BumpInTheNight: DeltaPunch: Because People in power are Stupid: Help me write a letter:

Dear Mark,

First, you are receiving this message at the handsome cost of 100 smackeroos to myself.

So I figure why not pay in some facebook stock I'd bought and adjust it for the price you claimed it was going to be worth.


By the way, upon reading this sentence, you now owe me a $100 beej.
 
2013-01-11 12:20:36 PM  

BumpInTheNight: DeltaPunch: Because People in power are Stupid: Help me write a letter:

Dear Mark,

First, you are receiving this message at the handsome cost of 100 smackeroos to myself.

So I figure why not pay in some facebook stock I'd bought and adjust it for the price you claimed it was going to be worth.


Now that I've established I'm an idiot who makes several poor financial choices at any given opportunity. I have a question for you,
 
2013-01-11 12:25:46 PM  

OceanVortex: BumpInTheNight: DeltaPunch: Because People in power are Stupid: Help me write a letter:

Dear Mark,

First, you are receiving this message at the handsome cost of 100 smackeroos to myself.

So I figure why not pay in some facebook stock I'd bought and adjust it for the price you claimed it was going to be worth.

Now that I've established I'm an idiot who makes several poor financial choices at any given opportunity. I have a question for you,


Do your farts taste like Jesus?
 
2013-01-11 12:33:29 PM  

fisker: OceanVortex: BumpInTheNight: DeltaPunch: Because People in power are Stupid: Help me write a letter:

Dear Mark,

First, you are receiving this message at the handsome cost of 100 smackeroos to myself.

So I figure why not pay in some facebook stock I'd bought and adjust it for the price you claimed it was going to be worth.

Now that I've established I'm an idiot who makes several poor financial choices at any given opportunity. I have a question for you,

Do your farts taste like Jesus?


You see, I bet my buddy $1000 that your farts do taste like Jesus, so this message is really a sound investment.
 
2013-01-11 12:33:36 PM  

fisker: OceanVortex: BumpInTheNight: DeltaPunch: Because People in power are Stupid: Help me write a letter:

Dear Mark,

First, you are receiving this message at the handsome cost of 100 smackeroos to myself.

So I figure why not pay in some facebook stock I'd bought and adjust it for the price you claimed it was going to be worth.

Now that I've established I'm an idiot who makes several poor financial choices at any given opportunity. I have a question for you,

Do your farts taste like Jesus?


His might not but I ate tacos so mine might
 
2013-01-11 12:37:05 PM  
OceanVortex: BumpInTheNight: DeltaPunch: Because People in power are Stupid: Help me write a letter:

Dear Mark,

First, you are receiving this message at the handsome cost of 100 smackeroos to myself.

So I figure why not pay in some facebook stock I'd bought and adjust it for the price you claimed it was going to be worth.

Now that I've established I'm an idiot who makes several poor financial choices at any given opportunity. I have a question for you,

Do your farts taste like Jesus?


I understand that you are wealthier than most people can ever comprehend, but will that ever heal the true issues of being a spineless, vengeful douche with serious rejection issues.
 
2013-01-11 12:53:22 PM  
Dear Mark,
Please send me $200 if you would like to reply.
 
2013-01-11 12:57:38 PM  
But the "do" above may be a lie - maybe my side of the bet was "don't"... Ever see Princess Bride? My $900 gain or $1100 loss is up to you, and it's up to you to answer "yes" or "no" based on if you think this letter was meant to endear or infuriate you.

darwinpolice: fisker: OceanVortex: BumpInTheNight: DeltaPunch: Because People in power are Stupid: Help me write a letter:

Dear Mark,

First, you are receiving this message at the handsome cost of 100 smackeroos to myself.

So I figure why not pay in some facebook stock I'd bought and adjust it for the price you claimed it was going to be worth.

Now that I've established I'm an idiot who makes several poor financial choices at any given opportunity. I have a question for you,

Do your farts taste like Jesus?

You see, I bet my buddy $1000 that your farts do taste like Jesus, so this message is really a sound investment.


But the "do" above may be a lie - maybe my side of the bet was "don't"... Ever see Princess Bride? My $900 gain or $1100 loss is up to you, and your "yes" or "no" is probably based on if you think this letter was meant to endear or infuriate you.
 
2013-01-11 12:59:51 PM  
REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP

Dear Mark Zuckerberg,

First, I must solicit your strictest confidence in this transaction.  This is by virtue of its nature as being utterly confidential and "Top Secret".  You have been recommended by an associate who assured me in confidence of your ability and reliability to prosecute a pending business transaction of great magnitude, requiring maximum confidence.

We are top officials of the Federal Government Contracts Review panel who are interested in the importation of goods into our country with funds which are presently confined in Nigeria.  In order to commence this business, we solicit your assistance to enable us to transfer into your account, the said trapped funds.

The following represents the source of the funds.  During the last regime her in Nigeria, the Government officials set up companies and awarded themselves contracts which were grossly over invoiced in various ministries which informed the setting up of the Contract Review Panel by the present Military Government to advice on the aforementioned.  We have identified a lot of inflated contract sums which are presently floating in the Central Bank of Nigeria ready for payment, amongst which is the said sum of US$31,320,000 (Thirty One Million, Three-Hundred and Twenty Thousand United States Dollars) that we solicit your assistance for the transfer.  As we are unable to manage the transfer all by ourselves by virtue of our position as civil servants and members of tis Panel, I have therefore been delegated as a matter of trust by my colleagues on the Panel to solicit for an overseas partner into whose account we would transfer the said sum.

We have agreed to share the money thus:

           1.     25% for the Account Owner (you)
           2.     65% for us (The Officials)
           3.     10% to be used in settling all expenses (our end and your end).  Incidental to the realization of this transaction.

It is from the 65% that we wish to commence the importation business.  Please note that this transaction is 100% safe and we hope to conclude the transaction in at most 10 banking days from : 234-30-408550 and 234-90-408674, the date of the receipt of the following information from you by Fax through your company name and address, your bankers name and your Tel/Fax: number, bearing in mind the festivities (Christmas & New Year season) we are in.

As a token of our appreciation to you, we shall make available to you at less than market price as much as 500,000 barrels of Automotive Gas Oil for spot lift.

The above information from you will enable us write letters of claim and job description respectively enabling us use your Company Name and Account details to apply for payment.  We are looking forward to doing this business with you and solicit your confidentiality in this transaction.  Please acknowledge the receipt of this letter using the above Tel/Fax numbers.  I will bring you into the complete picture of this pending project when I have heard from you.

Yours Faithfully,

Dr. BPIPAS
 
2013-01-11 01:13:29 PM  
$100 for some intern to read a message about business ethics... seems worth it haha
 
2013-01-11 01:22:20 PM  
My name is Rajeshi KEVIN and I am writing to inform you of a new business opportunity. My company tests weight loss and erectile dysfunction drugs...
 
2013-01-11 01:32:34 PM  
Hey Mark!
FARK yourself.
See? That was free.
 
2013-01-11 01:54:00 PM  

Because People in power are Stupid: Help me write a letter:

Dear Mark,


Thanks for creating Facebook, it gave me a new thing that I can brag about not using.
Everyone was getting bored about my boasts about not watching tv.
Now people see me as some type of next generation hero and everyone seems to be really impressed with me.

thanks again
 
2013-01-11 02:01:44 PM  

Subby's Mother: But the "do" above may be a lie - maybe my side of the bet was "don't"... Ever see Princess Bride? My $900 gain or $1100 loss is up to you, and it's up to you to answer "yes" or "no" based on if you think this letter was meant to endear or infuriate you.darwinpolice: fisker: OceanVortex: BumpInTheNight: DeltaPunch: Because People in power are Stupid: Help me write a letter:

Dear Mark,

First, you are receiving this message at the handsome cost of 100 smackeroos to myself.

So I figure why not pay in some facebook stock I'd bought and adjust it for the price you claimed it was going to be worth.

Now that I've established I'm an idiot who makes several poor financial choices at any given opportunity. I have a question for you,

Do your farts taste like Jesus?

You see, I bet my buddy $1000 that your farts do taste like Jesus, so this message is really a sound investment.

But the "do" above may be a lie - maybe my side of the bet was "don't"... Ever see Princess Bride? My $900 gain or $1100 loss is up to you, and your "yes" or "no" is probably based on if you think this letter was meant to endear or infuriate you.


I also learned to "Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line"! from the Princess Bride. I don't know if that advice will help you or not, but I thought I would add a little something extra because $100 seemed like a hell of a bargain.
 
2013-01-11 02:28:36 PM  

deanis: Dear Mark,

First, you are receiving this message at the handsome cost of 100 smackeroos to myself.

So I figure why not pay in some facebook stock I'd bought and adjust it for the price you claimed it was going to be worth.

Now that I've established I'm an idiot who makes several poor financial choices at any given opportunity. I have a question for you,

Do your farts taste like Jesus?

You see, I bet my buddy $1000 that your farts do taste like Jesus, so this message is really a sound investment.

But the "do" above may be a lie - maybe my side of the bet was "don't"... Ever see Princess Bride? My $900 gain or $1100 loss is up to you, and your "yes" or "no" is probably based on if you think this letter was meant to endear or infuriate you.

I also learned to "Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line"! from the Princess Bride. I don't know if that advice will help you or not, but I thought I would add a little something extra because $100 seemed like a hell of a bargain.


Do you like ponies? I like ponies. They are keen.
 
2013-01-11 02:31:26 PM  

deanis: Subby's Mother: But the "do" above may be a lie - maybe my side of the bet was "don't"... Ever see Princess Bride? My $900 gain or $1100 loss is up to you, and it's up to you to answer "yes" or "no" based on if you think this letter was meant to endear or infuriate you.darwinpolice: fisker: OceanVortex: BumpInTheNight: DeltaPunch: Because People in power are Stupid: Help me write a letter:

Dear Mark,

First, you are receiving this message at the handsome cost of 100 smackeroos to myself.

So I figure why not pay in some facebook stock I'd bought and adjust it for the price you claimed it was going to be worth.

Now that I've established I'm an idiot who makes several poor financial choices at any given opportunity. I have a question for you,

Do your farts taste like Jesus?

You see, I bet my buddy $1000 that your farts do taste like Jesus, so this message is really a sound investment.

But the "do" above may be a lie - maybe my side of the bet was "don't"... Ever see Princess Bride? My $900 gain or $1100 loss is up to you, and your "yes" or "no" is probably based on if you think this letter was meant to endear or infuriate you.

I also learned to "Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line"! from the Princess Bride. I don't know if that advice will help you or not, but I thought I would add a little something extra because $100 seemed like a hell of a bargain.


Moving along, I wish to complain about a host Facebook-related "apps". First of all, what in Jesus's Stinkhole is this Birthday App to which so many of my imbecilic friends keep trying to my name? I already get birthday notices directly to my email each and every week.
 
2013-01-11 02:38:45 PM  
This is the thread where I proclaim that, I, Dialectic, made the right decision by not signing to such a creepy website that is F*B**k.
 
2013-01-11 03:01:34 PM  

DeltaPunch: deanis: Subby's Mother: But the "do" above may be a lie - maybe my side of the bet was "don't"... Ever see Princess Bride? My $900 gain or $1100 loss is up to you, and it's up to you to answer "yes" or "no" based on if you think this letter was meant to endear or infuriate you.darwinpolice: fisker: OceanVortex: BumpInTheNight: DeltaPunch: Because People in power are Stupid: Help me write a letter:

Dear Mark,

First, you are receiving this message at the handsome cost of 100 smackeroos to myself.

So I figure why not pay in some facebook stock I'd bought and adjust it for the price you claimed it was going to be worth.

Now that I've established I'm an idiot who makes several poor financial choices at any given opportunity. I have a question for you,

Do your farts taste like Jesus?

You see, I bet my buddy $1000 that your farts do taste like Jesus, so this message is really a sound investment.

But the "do" above may be a lie - maybe my side of the bet was "don't"... Ever see Princess Bride? My $900 gain or $1100 loss is up to you, and your "yes" or "no" is probably based on if you think this letter was meant to endear or infuriate you.

I also learned to "Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line"! from the Princess Bride. I don't know if that advice will help you or not, but I thought I would add a little something extra because $100 seemed like a hell of a bargain.

Moving along, I wish to complain about a host Facebook-related "apps". First of all, what in Jesus's Stinkhole is this Birthday App to which so many of my imbecilic friends keep trying to my name? I already get birthday notices directly to my email each and every week.


I have another question for you Marky boy; why did you let FB get bogged down and bloated with advertisements? I feel like i'm looking at Pravda when I log on ffs. What's next, those "fitness experts hate him" adds? Less is more Mark, less is more....
 
2013-01-11 03:47:18 PM  
So Lily Allen's song "Fark You" started just as this thread appeared. Sums it up nicely.

/don't judge
 
2013-01-11 03:49:38 PM  
Zuck is a whore.
 
2013-01-11 04:36:01 PM  

moothemagiccow: Dear Mark,
Please send me $200 if you would like to reply.


Winnar!
 
2013-01-11 04:43:16 PM  

Nothing To See Here: Total Facebook


how much does it cost to get ultra facebook?
 
2013-01-11 05:18:02 PM  
Dear Mark, sending you this message cost more than 3 shares of Facebook stock. Good job, lol.
 
2013-01-11 06:03:08 PM  
Dear Mark: I farked your mom.
 
2013-01-11 06:44:37 PM  
I'm surprised Fark hasn't decided to band together and send him a message.
 
2013-01-13 01:00:17 PM  

Iceman_Cometh: I'm surprised Fark hasn't decided to band together and send him a message.


*Ahem*

Boobies.
 
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