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(RamblingBeachCat.com)   Lesson for young teachers: There is no way to sneak a fart on a bus full of school children   (ramblingbeachcat.com) divider line 24
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1045 clicks; posted to FarkUs » on 11 Jan 2013 at 10:29 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-11 09:53:59 AM
And yet, that's exactly what he did.  Got away with it.
 
2013-01-11 10:08:20 AM
as Ben Franklin said: Fart Proudly!
 
2013-01-11 10:24:20 AM
The man got away with it, too. Given the length of his description of this fart, he should write a book about it titled, "If I Did It."
 
2013-01-11 10:46:39 AM
Gotta love any story that includes the word 'hotboxing.' This is exactly the type of story Fark was built for.

More of this and less politics, please.
 
2013-01-11 11:16:40 AM
I don't think that roller coaster in the picture is in florida, though.

Hey !  I live in the same city as this guy.
 
2013-01-11 11:17:33 AM

labman: Hey !  I live in the same city as this guy.


Can you smell him?
 
2013-01-11 11:26:37 AM
I experienced something similar to this on an elevator a couple of years ago.  It was a horrid experience.  All of us were leaving work at the same time and the instant the elevator door closed, the smell hit you.  It was worst, most rank odor Ive ever smelled and everyone was dying.  Usually the elevator goes straight to the basement and we are in and out in seconds...of course, on this day, the elevator had to stop on every floor, prolonging our agony.  You didnt want to inhale and you damn sure didnt want to breathe through your mouth.  The elevator stopped on one of the lower floors and as one of our co-workers tried to get on, the smell hit her too and she just grimaced and backed out of the elevator, saving herself.  I swear to god, Ive never smelled anything like that before or since and we have actually discussed it several times amongst ourselves.  One guy swore he had to undress in his garage as the smell had permeated his clothing. Im pretty sure I have PTSD because of this experience too.  Wretched smell.
 
2013-01-11 11:28:56 AM
Okay that was hilarious.
 
2013-01-11 11:46:50 AM
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2013-01-11 11:48:12 AM
That was funny. I was fighting so hard to suppress my laughter, I farted. Oops.
 
2013-01-11 11:48:14 AM
My wife let one rip one time when we were in bed. I decided to "Dutch Oven" her and lifted the covers to cover her head.

Just the brief whiff from that flash when I lifted the covers was enough to roll me out of bed and cause me to run from the room gagging. It was the vilest smell I've ever smelled (she's normally not that toxic).

I never again tried the "Dutch Oven" manuever on her.
 
2013-01-11 12:18:40 PM
WTFITS ? really
 
2013-01-11 12:45:00 PM
 
2013-01-11 12:59:11 PM
I like to rip big smelly farts in elevators when I'm surrounded by stuffy old men in suits. A simple "Have you no manners" demand to the stuffiest one there and all the blame lies solely upon him. It's been years since I've pulled it off.
 
2013-01-11 02:22:51 PM
...includes a picture of what a fart might look like:

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-11 04:24:07 PM
I haven't let one rip in front of my students yet, but I'd totally find a way to blame all of them if I did.

They fart all the time.

Especially middle school kids, it just smells like arse the whole day :(
 
2013-01-11 06:56:08 PM
FTFA: As my flatulent continued it's path of nasal assault

I hope this teacher isn't teaching English.

i8.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-11 09:58:34 PM
Why would you want to sneak a fart in front of a group of kids? Kids are the only group who would enjoy hearing something like that.
 
2013-01-11 09:59:13 PM

marius2: I haven't let one rip in front of my students yet, but I'd totally find a way to blame all of them if I did.

They fart all the time.

Especially middle school kids, it just smells like arse the whole day :(


Friend of mine that's a teacher, she just farts at the back of the classroom then goes elsewhere (without any conspicuous hurrying, of course). The students never seem to catch on and just blame each other.

So go for it!
 
2013-01-12 12:14:28 AM

bluedevil: marius2: I haven't let one rip in front of my students yet, but I'd totally find a way to blame all of them if I did.

They fart all the time.

Especially middle school kids, it just smells like arse the whole day :(

Friend of mine that's a teacher, she just farts at the back of the classroom then goes elsewhere (without any conspicuous hurrying, of course). The students never seem to catch on and just blame each other.

So go for it!


That's hilarious
 
2013-01-12 12:25:03 AM
I must repost this bit of flatulent/literary brilliance from fellow Farker Wingchild. From a new year's 2012 thread:

On topic, my 400 mile drive home from Christmas with my family was punctuated by a new level of rankness, courtesy of my dog (directly) and my mother (indirectly, for feeding him a pound of maple-flavored bacon while she was cooking dinner).

Imagine you're riding down a highway when you suddenly start smelling maple syrup, like you'd just opened up a big bag of McGriddles or syrup-covered pancakes. Pretty good, right? Next comes a hint of bacon, that crisp, yummy goodness that brings back all your good childhood mornings. f*ck yeah. Now let's pass those lovely scents through the bowels of a flatulent Rottweiler where they've been stewing for eight hours straight. Mix that yummy bacon up with stomach juices, bits of old bones, part of a gopher the dogs took down Christmas morning, and copious amounts of testicle sweat.

If you're starting to wretch, I apologize - I'm trying to encapsulate this in language so you never need be exposed to the terrifying stench that my dog was setting free in the back seat. I honestly thought he sh*t the car. My girlfriend noticed it first - the dog's *ss was pointed in her direction - and she didn't even have time to call out a warning ("Gas! Gas! Gas!"). I heard her start to choke, but by then it was too late - she'd lowered her window, which blew that nasty swamp-*ss smell up into the driver's side of the vehicle.

The one-two punch of "hey, isn't that bacooooooooooooooooooooooooooh god damn" was like a sucker punch in my olfactory receptors. I almost lost control of the car. My eyes were burning and my tongue was trying to crawl back down into my esophagus to prevent any possible trace from slipping down my throat, which resulted in lots of gagging and an inability to remember how to breathe.

We finally got the windows down and the sunroof opened. The night air was brisk but we were both willing to court frostbite to clear out the vehicle's cabin. It was some minutes before we were able to seal back up, and for a while neither of us was willing to discuss was just occurred. To name it might have invoked it.

The dog slept through all of this. Not a care in the world, that one. Wish I could say the same. =(

He continued to poot out noxious air biscuits for the entire drive home. Girlfriend insists that the animal must have died; nothing living should smell that way. I'd been slightly concerned about making the drive after a long holiday at home - I get sleepy on long car trips - but it turns out that was no problem this year and we actually made really good time. A strong wind in our sails, pushing us forward. Outward. Anywhere but trapped in the car with that terrible beast.


We went out for breakfast today and a couple sitting near us ordered pancakes with maple syrup. That trace scent on the air invoked an immediate and violent reaction in me. I was out of my chair and halfway to the exit when I realized I hadn't brought the dog into the restaurant.

You know how the scent of almonds can signify cyanide? I've got the same sort of reaction to maple now.

Some people might smell maple syrup and start to think of the lyrics to `O, Canada`. I think `O, CHRIST` and start moving for higher ground. I don't know if or when I'll be able to get back to normal.

I've had a glimpse of what Hell must be like.


Merry New Year, everyone. =(
 
2013-01-12 03:07:22 AM
It's always fantastic when someone on the bus wearing loud headphones lets out what they think is a quiet, discreet fart that is in fact a window-rattling crowd pleaser and is none the wiser.
 
2013-01-12 08:58:28 AM

Gordon Bennett: It's always fantastic when someone on the bus wearing loud headphones lets out what they think is a quiet, discreet fart that is in fact a window-rattling crowd pleaser and is none the wiser.


Or a co-worker who wears a hearing aid that doesn't know you can hear him tooting?
 
2013-01-12 10:41:32 PM
This is why I work in special ed...
 
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