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(The Consumerist)   Woman determined to consume only Starbucks products for an entire year, will go bankrupt sometime in March   (consumerist.com) divider line 75
    More: Dumbass, Starbucks, Seattle, bankruptcy  
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6201 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Jan 2013 at 9:56 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-10 05:46:24 PM  
I'm determined only to sleep with sexy ladies this year.

Fortunately, my wife is sexy
 
2013-01-10 05:52:27 PM  
FTFA: the woman, whose actual name is Beautiful Existence

That, right there, is why we can't have nice things.
 
2013-01-10 06:09:37 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: FTFA: the woman, whose actual name is Beautiful Existence

That, right there, is why we can't have nice things.


I saw the headline and already knew I would hate her. Then I saw her name and somehow ended up hating her even more
 
2013-01-10 06:29:52 PM  
"I've been going in and getting their nutrition by the cup charts for all their serving sizes [...] I'm already getting a feel for what to eat - the plain nut pack as a snack because it only has 190 calories, compared to the piece of pumpkin bread."

And she doesn't sound naïve. Not at all.
 
2013-01-10 08:04:38 PM  
I'll giver her the plain nut pack.
 
2013-01-10 08:13:19 PM  
that's just stupid.
 
2013-01-10 08:27:15 PM  
Welcome to the world of anyone who works at Starbucks, lady.
 
2013-01-10 08:30:13 PM  
Dirk Benedict is 67 years old.  That's expecting a lot of the man.
 
2013-01-10 09:32:16 PM  
So she's going to eat nothing but sandwiches and bistro boxes for an entire year. Yeah, I give her a month before she gets a burger or a pizza somewhere else.
 
2013-01-10 10:00:07 PM  
So now we know the faux hipster's Fark handle. What's her birth name?
 
2013-01-10 10:00:42 PM  
Recommended coffee mug:

rlv.zcache.com
 
2013-01-10 10:02:31 PM  
On the bright side, she's now officially a cheap date with nothing to complain about.
 
2013-01-10 10:03:20 PM  
In this thread: Wordpress and Consumerist combine to give you a powerful new reason to hate people.
 
2013-01-10 10:06:24 PM  
I wouldn't be surprised if this "diet" was more affordable than buying groceries at Whole Foods....
 
2013-01-10 10:07:56 PM  
Protein. Is there any at Starbucks?
 
2013-01-10 10:10:02 PM  
Sorry, this is a really dumb idea and I think I lost IQ points... no real point to my post, but it's as close to outrage as I'm getting tonight.
 
2013-01-10 10:12:39 PM  

JohnAnnArbor: Protein. Is there any at Starbucks?


I haven't been to a Starbucks in years but they claim on their website to have breakfast and lunch sandwiches with meat. There's even a "protein" box with a hard boiled egg and cheese.
 
2013-01-10 10:13:01 PM  

JohnAnnArbor: Protein. Is there any at Starbucks?


When I'm working there sure is!
 
2013-01-10 10:13:10 PM  
They have sandwiches and juice. Probably yogurt and fruit cups. I kinda remember seeing bananas and apples there, but I don't visit Starbucks often.

It's feasible. But retarded, unless Starbucks pays the tab.
 
2013-01-10 10:14:06 PM  

LordOfThePings: "I've been going in and getting their nutrition by the cup charts for all their serving sizes [...] I'm already getting a feel for what to eat - the plain nut pack as a snack because it only has 190 calories, compared to the piece of pumpkin bread."

And she doesn't sound naïve. Not at all.


Caffeine and only Starbuck's and she's looking to keep herself light? She'll be dead before she's bankrupt.
 
2013-01-10 10:15:59 PM  
This lady spends almost as much on food a week than I can go through in an entire month! Then again, as a former starbucks barista, I liked her point about supporting employee benefits. I guess if someone has $550/month to blow at one place, its better its at Starbucks than Walmart (where I shop)-- more of it goes to the employees!
 
2013-01-10 10:17:57 PM  
My heart hurts thinking about this.
 
2013-01-10 10:18:01 PM  

JohnAnnArbor: Protein. Is there any at Starbucks?


Egg salad sandwich
 
2013-01-10 10:18:17 PM  
"The company pays good benefits for part-time workers," she explains. "That's where my money is going."

If you really want to do something, eat sensibly and donate your time and money to a food bank.
 
2013-01-10 10:18:41 PM  
Her first name actually is "Jerkoff" so it really helps that she is one.
 
2013-01-10 10:19:13 PM  
Great, just what the world needs, Twitchy Jared.
 
2013-01-10 10:21:21 PM  

JohnAnnArbor: Protein. Is there any at Starbucks?


I can always beat off into her latte and just say it was extra foam.
 
2013-01-10 10:22:18 PM  
Here's an idea. Cook healthily at home for a fraction of that $18 a day and donate the rest to the homeless or something. I'm sure a local shelter would love the $3,500+ she'd contribute at the end of it all.

/what a farking idiot
 
2013-01-10 10:22:24 PM  
That doesn't sound like a waste of money....

:P
 
2013-01-10 10:23:37 PM  
"So far, she's averaging $18.79 a day on food and drink from Starbucks. For those of you who eat out all the time, this might seem like pennies. But some bargain shoppers who save money by eating in (and making their own coffee) will probably see that as wasteful."

$18.79 will buy me lunch for almost two weeks. Thankfully, I've never acquired the taste of wet beans.

/sez the guy who drink the juice of wet leaves
 
2013-01-10 10:23:59 PM  

Buttle not Tuttle: In this thread: Wordpress and Consumerist combine to give you a powerful new reason to hate people.


I don't need new reasons to hate people, I'm still not done sorting the old reasons I hate people from last year damnit
 
2013-01-10 10:25:55 PM  
...and people wonder why I want to punch these hipster douchebags repeatedly in the face.
 
2013-01-10 10:26:01 PM  
From her blog:
" Mostly I have enjoyed tea iced in the summer or some chai varieties with streamed soy milk on cold days; soon my 20 minute visit turned into this new appreciation for tea related topics from the baked cinnamon apple herbal tea and ginger-infused sugar duo I picked up to the absolutely mouth-watering dinner creations a team member told me about trying on salmon by using their lapsang souchong as a rub."

From her writing style I would say she has already had waaaay too much caffeine.
 
2013-01-10 10:29:29 PM  
Name the deficiency that puts an end to this, I say scurvy.
 
2013-01-10 10:31:48 PM  

DreamSnipers: Name the deficiency that puts an end to this, I say scurvy.


GRANDE Mal Seizure

HyperVENTIlation?
 
2013-01-10 10:33:35 PM  

whatshisname: DreamSnipers: Name the deficiency that puts an end to this, I say scurvy.

GRANDE MalGrandma Seizure


FTFY
 
2013-01-10 10:35:30 PM  

skinink: On the bright side, she's now officially a cheap date with nothing to complain about.


Starbucks ain't cheap
 
2013-01-10 10:37:14 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: FTFA: the woman, whose actual name is Beautiful Existence

That, right there, is why we can't have nice things.


Existence. A fine Irish name.
 
2013-01-10 10:38:57 PM  

frizzantik: skinink: On the bright side, she's now officially a cheap date with nothing to complain about.

Starbucks ain't cheap


Are you taking your dates to McDonalds?
 
2013-01-10 10:41:02 PM  
Mama should have named her Dumass Nutcase.
 
2013-01-10 10:42:23 PM  
I didn't think this was possible, but that article made the Consumerist seem dumber than it already was... I guess just by association.
 
2013-01-10 10:42:58 PM  
I must be farking blind. I failed to see a point of any of this shennanigan.
 
2013-01-10 10:45:18 PM  
Oy vey.
 
2013-01-10 10:46:43 PM  

DreamSnipers: Name the deficiency that puts an end to this, I say scurvy.


There's plenty of citrus and rose hip tea products.

I say lack of blog page hits.
 
2013-01-10 10:59:18 PM  
Like most women in search of free sperm, Beth and Nicole asked for artificial insemination, or AI. As opposed to natural insemination (code for actual sex), AI typically involves injecting fresh sperm into the vagina, or loading it into a latex cup that fits on the cervix. Beth and Nicole had to work around three people's schedules and an ovulation calendar, so the venues at which they met their donor had a saucy impromptu feel: a hotel, the back of the couple's SUV, a camper trailer, a Starbucks bathroom. At Starbucks, the donor ejaculated in the bathroom in private, exited, and handed the sperm-filled latex cup to Nicole, who in turn entered the bathroom and attached the cup to her cervix. As nature took its course, the three sat down for coffee together. "It wasn't my highest moment," says Beth. They didn't conceive.
yummy latte Link
 
2013-01-10 11:00:49 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Sin_City_Superhero: FTFA: the woman, whose actual name is Beautiful Existence

That, right there, is why we can't have nice things.

I saw the headline and already knew I would hate her. Then I saw her name and somehow ended up hating her even more


Better than Storm
 
2013-01-10 11:01:33 PM  

JohnAnnArbor: Protein. Is there any at Starbucks?


That's my point. She will be crying and quitting when she gets fat from her no-protein no-vegetable no-fiber diet. The hardboiled eggs won't save her.
 
2013-01-10 11:06:12 PM  
Now, you're talking about consumption here...does that mean only orally? Or is she also talking about toilet paper, gasoline and other everyday necessities in American culture?
 
2013-01-10 11:07:08 PM  

Wookie_Jesus: Like most women in search of free sperm, Beth and Nicole asked for artificial insemination, or AI. As opposed to natural insemination (code for actual sex), AI typically involves injecting fresh sperm into the vagina, or loading it into a latex cup that fits on the cervix. Beth and Nicole had to work around three people's schedules and an ovulation calendar, so the venues at which they met their donor had a saucy impromptu feel: a hotel, the back of the couple's SUV, a camper trailer, a Starbucks bathroom. At Starbucks, the donor ejaculated in the bathroom in private, exited, and handed the sperm-filled latex cup to Nicole, who in turn entered the bathroom and attached the cup to her cervix. As nature took its course, the three sat down for coffee together. "It wasn't my highest moment," says Beth. They didn't conceive.
yummy latte Link


What happened to the turkey baster? Does no one use a turkey baster any more for artificial insemination? Has the turkey baster gone the way of the douche bag? Or is it still relevant for AI?
 
2013-01-10 11:07:30 PM  

Forbidden Doughnut: I wouldn't be surprised if this "diet" was more affordable than buying groceries at Whole Foods....


I've never done real grocery shopping at Whole Foods but their buffet is no more expensive for lunch than any other prepared food option above McDonalds level and their microwavable frozen items are only slightly more expensive than Stouffers while being much better for you.
 
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