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(Daily Mail)   Is Derek Jeter's girlfriend the next Kate Upton?   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 114
    More: Unlikely, Kate Upton, Weight Watchers, Derek Jeter  
•       •       •

14501 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 10 Jan 2013 at 5:10 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



114 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-01-10 01:52:45 PM
That's a boy.
 
2013-01-10 02:04:35 PM
Her lips are too sharp
 
2013-01-10 02:04:46 PM
uh, no.
 
2013-01-10 02:10:34 PM
the real thing...
 
2013-01-10 02:11:24 PM
dammit. gif too big see here (PNSFW)
 
2013-01-10 02:19:25 PM

FlashHarry: dammit. gif too big see here (PNSFW)


That's better than the hypnotoad.

/All glory to the Uptonboob!
 
2013-01-10 02:21:38 PM
That picture is simply awful, but no.
 
2013-01-10 02:24:43 PM
So one day you wake up and say to yourself, you know, I just don't feel like having sex with MInka Kelly anymore.  I'm ready for a new flavor.

That's some big league sass right there.
 
2013-01-10 02:35:55 PM
Now that is some serious trout mouth.
 
2013-01-10 02:46:36 PM
I'll reserve judgement until I see her do the cat daddy.
 
2013-01-10 02:49:55 PM

FlashHarry: dammit. gif too big see here (PNSFW)


Also Again NSFW
 
2013-01-10 03:06:50 PM
No.  She is the new Fiona Apple.
 
2013-01-10 03:20:38 PM
She's only dating him for the parting gift basket when they break up.
 
2013-01-10 03:23:48 PM
img22.imageshack.us
 
2013-01-10 03:25:11 PM

mitchcumstein1: FlashHarry: dammit. gif too big see here (PNSFW)

Also Again NSFW


a0.typepad.com
i'll be in my bunk.
 
2013-01-10 03:30:31 PM
The Stealth Hippopotamus: [img22.imageshack.us image 154x140]

Cat Daddy>Dougie NSFW
 
2013-01-10 05:12:39 PM

AdolfOliverPanties: No.  She is the new Fiona Apple.


I knew her features reminded me of someone. Thank you.

Yeah, she's a taller, more model-y Fiona Apple. Probably minus the crazy & baggage too, by default.
 
2013-01-10 05:15:54 PM
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-01-10 05:17:53 PM
Who cares? Jeter will put it in anything that walks.
 
2013-01-10 05:18:02 PM
No.
NO.
Not even close.
 
2013-01-10 05:18:11 PM
I feel that every submission involving Jeter and his women should have a Hero tag
 
2013-01-10 05:18:54 PM
scrapetv.com

She's no Miss Alabama.
 
2013-01-10 05:19:17 PM
Minka Kelly vs this thing? DOWNGRADE!
 
2013-01-10 05:19:31 PM
One day I'd like to see a famous athlete dating an ugly woman.
 
2013-01-10 05:19:53 PM
Shut your whore mouth, submitter or I will shut it for you.
 
2013-01-10 05:24:02 PM
That would be no, not the next Kate Upton.
 
2013-01-10 05:24:32 PM
Next Fetal Alchohol Syndrome success story is more like it. Damn, Jeter, she better be a tiger in the sack.

/studman'd
 
2013-01-10 05:27:20 PM

Atomic Spunk: One day I'd like to see a famous athlete dating an ugly woman.


Prince Fielder's wife is below my standards.

/go ahead and studman me
 
2013-01-10 05:28:20 PM

Atomic Spunk: One day I'd like to see a famous athlete dating an ugly woman.


Kurt Warner. I know you said athlete, I'm just trying to help.
 
2013-01-10 05:31:33 PM
There's three pics of a moderately attractive woman looking very bored on that page. Does she always looks like that? There's just no emotion in her face at all -- like she's thinking "Well, everybody's just looking at my boobs, doesn't matter what my expression is"
 
2013-01-10 05:34:41 PM

Donnchadha: There's three pics of a moderately attractive woman looking very bored on that page. Does she always looks like that? There's just no emotion in her face at all -- like she's thinking "Well, everybody's just looking at my boobs, doesn't matter what my expression is"


That still doesnt explain Kristen Stewart
 
2013-01-10 05:37:21 PM
www.glaro-products.com

media-cdn.tripadvisor.com

A quality rack makes a big difference.
 
2013-01-10 05:46:35 PM
Probably not subby, A-rod's rack isn't big enough.
 
2013-01-10 05:46:44 PM

FlashHarry: dammit. gif too big see here (PNSFW)


Good god man, are those made of Jell-o or something? O_o

/still votes for Kate
 
2013-01-10 05:47:45 PM

RyansPrivates: Probably not subby, A-rod's rack isn't big enough.


HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
 
2013-01-10 05:53:51 PM
She looks like one of the Olson twins.
 
2013-01-10 05:58:24 PM
I didn't know Daily Fail was that hard up for clicks.
 
2013-01-10 06:01:51 PM

The Bestest: RyansPrivates: Probably not subby, A-rod's rack isn't big enough.

HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!


Help me, I can't stop slapping my knee at how funny and original that was.
 
2013-01-10 06:14:28 PM

LeroyBourne: Atomic Spunk: One day I'd like to see a famous athlete dating an ugly woman.

Kurt Warner. I know you said athlete, I'm just trying to help.


Warner's wife grew out her hair since the Rams days. She looks pretty good.

//saying I'd Fark it would be rude and inappropriate.
///but this is Fark . . .
 
2013-01-10 06:16:00 PM
NOPE. Not even close, subby.
 
2013-01-10 06:19:48 PM

Donnchadha: There's three pics of a moderately attractive woman looking very bored on that page. Does she always looks like that? There's just no emotion in her face at all -- like she's thinking "Well, everybody's just looking at my boobs, doesn't matter what my expression is"


Yep, she may have a great body and good bone structure, but those are some dead, dead eyes in those pictures.
 
2013-01-10 06:22:16 PM
Man, Jeter really is losing it. Once it's gone, it's gone. Minka Kelly isn't walking through that door. Still, his girlfriends over the years is definitely Hall of Fame worthy.
 
2013-01-10 06:22:20 PM
Nope, she's the next notch on his bedpost.
 
2013-01-10 06:29:52 PM
ttiuwp
 
2013-01-10 06:30:27 PM
He's not dating Nina Agdal, so no
 
2013-01-10 06:33:24 PM
It doesn't matter how ugly a woman is, some guy somewhere is getting wood over her.
 
2013-01-10 06:38:26 PM

mitchcumstein1: The Stealth Hippopotamus: [img22.imageshack.us image 154x140]

Cat Daddy>Dougie NSFW


that dancing gives my boner a boner.
 
2013-01-10 07:01:09 PM
 
2013-01-10 07:10:14 PM

MagSeven: 10 hours of Kate just bouncing around and shiat Probably NSFW
[i0.kym-cdn.com image 515x293]


*rofl*
 
2013-01-10 07:19:31 PM

Atomic Spunk: One day I'd like to see a famous athlete dating an ugly woman.


That would be like a Farker dating Kate Upton.
 
2013-01-10 07:26:41 PM

js34603: Atomic Spunk: One day I'd like to see a famous athlete dating an ugly woman.

That would be like a Farker dating Kate Upton.


I certainly wouldn't be calling her ugly, nor would I consider myself that athletic.
 
2013-01-10 07:33:59 PM

AdolfOliverPanties: No.  She is the new Fiona Apple.


My first thought was Claire Forlani. Never realized how much those two look alike.
 
2013-01-10 07:40:43 PM
Derek Jeter is more believable as the next Kate Upton that his girlfriend.
 
kab
2013-01-10 07:48:27 PM
done in three.
 
2013-01-10 07:50:39 PM
Not even slightly interested in this one.
 
2013-01-10 07:51:54 PM
In the runway picture where she's wearing all white, with her hair pulled back, she looks a lot like Macauley Culkin.
 
2013-01-10 07:55:18 PM
i.imgur.comi.imgur.com
i.imgur.comi.imgur.com
 
2013-01-10 08:07:30 PM

Yanks_RSJ: The Bestest: RyansPrivates: Probably not subby, A-rod's rack isn't big enough.

HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

Help me, I can't stop slapping my knee at how funny and original that was.


A-Rod is not going to sleep with you, so you'll be yanking your own RSJ tonight.
 
2013-01-10 08:08:20 PM
I may be in the minority here, but I find her exceptionally attractive. But then I like the boobies.
 
2013-01-10 08:13:42 PM

ShawnDoc: That's a boy.

 
2013-01-10 08:21:53 PM
Who knows but she shall be the next to get the herpes.


25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-01-10 08:26:33 PM

FlashHarry: uh, no.

 
2013-01-10 08:29:36 PM
Kate Upton?

An over-ripe, past her sell-by date, 23 year old chick, as shallow as a mud puddle, as dumb as a box of rocks whose boobs bounce around like two balloons filled with oil?

No, thank you.
 
2013-01-10 08:42:19 PM

douchebag/hater: Kate Upton?

An over-ripe, past her sell-by date, 23 year old chick, as shallow as a mud puddle, as dumb as a box of rocks whose boobs bounce around like two balloons filled with oil?

No, thank you.


you live up to your namesake
 
2013-01-10 08:45:37 PM

douchebag/hater: Kate Upton?

An over-ripe, past her sell-by date, 23 year old chick, as shallow as a mud puddle, as dumb as a box of rocks whose boobs bounce around like two balloons filled with oil?

No, thank you.


Do I get to stick my penis in her until I ejaculate on her face? Then she can be as shallow as she wants to be.
 
2013-01-10 08:59:05 PM
I'm not done with Kate yet.
 
2013-01-10 09:14:02 PM
She looks like she has dick lips
 
2013-01-10 09:16:16 PM

Shazam999: douchebag/hater: Kate Upton?

An over-ripe, past her sell-by date, 23 year old chick, as shallow as a mud puddle, as dumb as a box of rocks whose boobs bounce around like two balloons filled with oil?

No, thank you.

Do I get to stick my penis in her until I ejaculate on her face? Then she can be as shallow as she wants to be.


C'mon man... you know this is Fark. A site filled with

A) studmans69s
&
B)Males that would rather fellate themselves before letting any woman do so
/Figurative or Literal sense?
//Yes
 
2013-01-10 09:25:44 PM

ltdanman44: douchebag/hater: Kate Upton?

An over-ripe, past her sell-by date, 23 year old chick, as shallow as a mud puddle, as dumb as a box of rocks whose boobs bounce around like two balloons filled with oil?

No, thank you.

you live up to your namesake


You're new here, aren't you?
You MUST be if that's the best you can come up with.
Besides, it actually BOTHERS YOU that I don't find her very attractive?
WOW! You must be the original 'Mr. Low Self-esteem'.
Since when do YOU control what the rest of us find attractive in women?
It must have just happened because I'm pretty damned sure the REST OF US didn't get YOUR memo.
Grow the fark up, azzhat, and [welcometofark.jpg]
 
2013-01-10 09:27:16 PM

Shazam999: douchebag/hater: Kate Upton?

An over-ripe, past her sell-by date, 23 year old chick, as shallow as a mud puddle, as dumb as a box of rocks whose boobs bounce around like two balloons filled with oil?

No, thank you.

Do I get to stick my penis in her until I ejaculate on her face? Then she can be as shallow as she wants to be.


Farking allah, I don't know; it depends A) on how much money you have and 2) If you don't mind Kanye West's left-overs.
 
2013-01-10 09:33:15 PM

douchebag/hater: Shazam999: douchebag/hater: Kate Upton?

An over-ripe, past her sell-by date, 23 year old chick, as shallow as a mud puddle, as dumb as a box of rocks whose boobs bounce around like two balloons filled with oil?

No, thank you.

Do I get to stick my penis in her until I ejaculate on her face? Then she can be as shallow as she wants to be.

Farking allah, I don't know; it depends A) on how much money you have and 2) If you don't mind Kanye West's left-overs.


If porn has taught me anything, it's that sloppy seconds are more than acceptable.
 
2013-01-10 09:36:27 PM
Christ no. Not just no but fark no. Not remotely attractive.
 
2013-01-10 09:38:23 PM

douchebag/hater: ltdanman44: douchebag/hater: Kate Upton?

An over-ripe, past her sell-by date, 23 year old chick, as shallow as a mud puddle, as dumb as a box of rocks whose boobs bounce around like two balloons filled with oil?

No, thank you.

you live up to your namesake

You're new here, aren't you?
You MUST be if that's the best you can come up with.
Besides, it actually BOTHERS YOU that I don't find her very attractive?
WOW! You must be the original 'Mr. Low Self-esteem'.
Since when do YOU control what the rest of us find attractive in women?
It must have just happened because I'm pretty damned sure the REST OF US didn't get YOUR memo.
Grow the fark up, azzhat, and [welcometofark.jpg]


I think he's bothered by the fact that you feel the need to lie about not finding her attractive in the least bit just to make yourself feel good.

I am okay with it though.
 
2013-01-10 09:40:17 PM
That's no woman, that's Macaulay Culkin in drag.
 
2013-01-10 09:42:26 PM
I like it when women don't need to wear makeup.
 
2013-01-10 09:48:29 PM
No. Nice body, I'm sure, but she's got a too-big head and a weird face.

That picture of Candace Swanepol's ass the Daily Fail found, now, that's hot.
 
2013-01-10 09:51:37 PM
This girl is the genie on the new direct tv commercial.
 
2013-01-10 09:56:03 PM
I dunno, I'll let you know in 10 hours
 
2013-01-10 10:03:09 PM
I get it.  No really, I understand this move on Jeter's part.  She already looks like she's been hit in the face a few times, so now no one will be able to tell when he slaps her around.
 
2013-01-10 10:18:00 PM
www.memegeneokerlund.com
 
2013-01-10 10:19:56 PM
This Hannah chick is the "DirecTV Genie" in their ads at the moment.
 
2013-01-10 10:21:01 PM

Whatthefark: That's no woman, that's Macaulay Culkin in drag.


You are right.

img2u.info
 
2013-01-10 11:39:50 PM

Flissss: Who knows but she shall be the next to get the herpes.

[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x372]


Huh. I wonder if Timberlake and Reynolds ever get together for a beer to discuss the relative merits of Johansson and Biel?
 
2013-01-10 11:44:43 PM

LesserEvil: Whatthefark: That's no woman, that's Macaulay Culkin in drag.

You are right.

[img2u.info image 306x634]


Farking hell.
 
2013-01-10 11:48:57 PM

Atomic Spunk: One day I'd like to see a famous athlete dating an ugly woman.


Vince Wilfork's wife. Also Kate Upton dancing videos are proof that god exists.
 
2013-01-10 11:54:38 PM

NuttierThanEver: Now that is some serious trout mouth.


But she does look like she could do an awesome bass to mouth
 
2013-01-11 12:12:40 AM

The Bestest: Atomic Spunk: One day I'd like to see a famous athlete dating an ugly woman.

Prince Fielder's wife is below my standards.

/go ahead and studman me


www.playerwives.com

Eh, I'd do her.
 
2013-01-11 12:14:10 AM

douchebag/hater: ltdanman44: douchebag/hater: Kate Upton?

An over-ripe, past her sell-by date, 23 year old chick, as shallow as a mud puddle, as dumb as a box of rocks whose boobs bounce around like two balloons filled with oil?

No, thank you.

you live up to your namesake

You're new here, aren't you?
You MUST be if that's the best you can come up with.
Besides, it actually BOTHERS YOU that I don't find her very attractive?
WOW! You must be the original 'Mr. Low Self-esteem'.
Since when do YOU control what the rest of us find attractive in women?
It must have just happened because I'm pretty damned sure the REST OF US didn't get YOUR memo.
Grow the fark up, azzhat, and [welcometofark.jpg]


[dealingwithabadass.jpg]

I'm just curious how you're posting from over two years in the future. Kate Upton won't be 23 until June 2015.
 
2013-01-11 12:14:15 AM

rev. dave: I like it when women don't need to wear makeup a bag over her head. Unfortunately, this ain't one of them.


FTFY
 
2013-01-11 12:14:21 AM

douchebag/hater: ltdanman44: douchebag/hater: Kate Upton?

An over-ripe, past her sell-by date, 23 year old chick, as shallow as a mud puddle, as dumb as a box of rocks whose boobs bounce around like two balloons filled with oil?

No, thank you.

you live up to your namesake

You're new here, aren't you?
You MUST be if that's the best you can come up with.
Besides, it actually BOTHERS YOU that I don't find her very attractive?
WOW! You must be the original 'Mr. Low Self-esteem'.
Since when do YOU control what the rest of us find attractive in women?
It must have just happened because I'm pretty damned sure the REST OF US didn't get YOUR memo.
Grow the fark up, azzhat, and [welcometofark.jpg]


Go back to reddit.
 
2013-01-11 12:15:30 AM
Nope
 
2013-01-11 12:25:41 AM

Donnchadha: There's three pics of a moderately attractive woman looking very bored on that page. Does she always looks like that? There's just no emotion in her face at all -- like she's thinking "Well, everybody's just looking at my boobs, doesn't matter what my expression is"


Botox is hella drug
 
2013-01-11 12:38:50 AM

fusillade762: She looks like one of the Olson twins.


Yeah, but which one?
 
2013-01-11 01:29:58 AM
Have a sammich, honey.
 
2013-01-11 01:30:35 AM
Miss Davis, who was scouted at the age of 14 by a family friend

Ewwwww.

/fap
 
2013-01-11 01:38:12 AM

meanmutton: The Bestest: Atomic Spunk: One day I'd like to see a famous athlete dating an ugly woman.

Prince Fielder's wife is below my standards.

/go ahead and studman me

[www.playerwives.com image 575x385]

Eh, I'd do her.


She seems to have tail.
 
2013-01-11 02:04:39 AM
I don't buy the whole Jeter Herpes thing.  Seems like that dude pulls A LOT of snatch, a lot of snatch that has a lot to lose if it came out that they had the Herp.  Does anyone really think celebrities and models would still be dating this guy if he really had herpes?  I certainly don't.
 
2013-01-11 02:23:10 AM
But Kate doesn't have herpes... how would subby's line even be possible at this point.
 
2013-01-11 02:23:21 AM
Shut your face subby. There can never be "the next" Kate Upton!
 
2013-01-11 03:11:46 AM
The first picture isn't so good. Looks like the love child of Angelina Jolie and Fiona Apple.

She's cute, but definitely not the next Kate Upton.
 
2013-01-11 03:27:30 AM
I hate to sound like the "sharp knees" guys, but... she looks weird. At least in the picture on the right... she's gangly or something. Almost looks like an alien.

Bad photographer right?
 
2013-01-11 07:41:46 AM

italie: I dunno, I'll let you know in 10 hours


After careful review....nope.
 
2013-01-11 09:18:05 AM

Atomic Spunk: One day I'd like to see a famous athlete dating an ugly woman.


That guy, he has integrity.
 
2013-01-11 09:32:51 AM

Halstread: Atomic Spunk: One day I'd like to see a famous athlete dating an ugly woman.

That guy, he has integrity.


You sure?

www.televicious.com
Maybe he's just looking for a slumpbuster....
 
2013-01-11 09:45:21 AM

douchebag/hater: ltdanman44: douchebag/hater: Kate Upton?

An over-ripe, past her sell-by date, 23 year old chick, as shallow as a mud puddle, as dumb as a box of rocks whose boobs bounce around like two balloons filled with oil?

No, thank you.

you live up to your namesake

You're new here, aren't you?
You MUST be if that's the best you can come up with.
Besides, it actually BOTHERS YOU that I don't find her very attractive?
WOW! You must be the original 'Mr. Low Self-esteem'.
Since when do YOU control what the rest of us find attractive in women?
It must have just happened because I'm pretty damned sure the REST OF US didn't get YOUR memo.
Grow the fark up, azzhat, and [welcometofark.jpg]


Wow. Somebody's a sensitive little muffin today.
 
2013-01-11 09:58:50 AM
Only if that's the worst picture of her, ever.
 
2013-01-11 10:01:09 AM

LesserEvil: Halstread: Atomic Spunk: One day I'd like to see a famous athlete dating an ugly woman.

That guy, he has integrity.

You sure?

[www.televicious.com image 420x270]
Maybe he's just looking for a slumpbuster....


I don't know the Sheen reference, but was making one about Curb Your Enthusiasm. I thought Mark Grace was the slumpbuster king?
 
2013-01-11 10:10:04 AM

Halstread: LesserEvil: Halstread: Atomic Spunk: One day I'd like to see a famous athlete dating an ugly woman.

That guy, he has integrity.

You sure?

[www.televicious.com image 420x270]
Maybe he's just looking for a slumpbuster....

I don't know the Sheen reference, but was making one about Curb Your Enthusiasm. I thought Mark Grace was the slumpbuster king?


It's a reference from Sheen's new comedy "Anger Management" - he's a former baseball player and in one episode, he's stalked by a slumpbuster (played by Kerri Kenney of Reno 811! fame)
 
2013-01-11 10:37:38 AM
cdn.static.ovimg.com
 
2013-01-11 12:19:55 PM
Not even close is the correct answer.
 
2013-01-11 12:39:08 PM
Kate Upton has man-hips and no ass. Wonderful breasts and a great face, but search your heart - you know it to be true.
 
2013-01-11 01:56:46 PM

GavinTheAlmighty: Kate Upton has man-hips and no ass. Wonderful breasts and a great face, but search your heart - you know it to be true.


I'm a man and I've got way better hips than that. She has a cute little butt and breasts that are certainly ample, but not firm and shapely enough to be called wonderful. In ten years she'll be married to some hedge-fund manager and look like a blonde Leona Helmsley.
 
2013-01-11 06:07:31 PM
ummm... yes please.

www.eftekasat.net
 
2013-01-12 03:02:05 AM
Short answer: no.

Long answer: no, because neither picture in TFA made me want to touch myself, and I have yet to see a pic of Kate Upton that failed to do so
 
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