Funny how the colon totally changed the gist of that headline.

FTFA: "When the couple left the bar about 1 a.m. and walked onto a pier by the river..."

Which is exactly what you should do after spending half the night being harassed in a bar.

DUMBASSES.

I bet she made a nice.....

Is it cutting into Oxy sales?

MrBallou: That's Decatur, Alabama, subby, not Tennessee. It is on the Tennessee River, however.

Decatur, Tennessee is a sleepy little town sh*t hole several miles upstream.

Everybody there kinda looks the same. Coincidence?

Down to the river? You betcha!

Yes, Robert Christopher Hancock, you are totally hardcore badass, throwing a woman into a river, and that tough-guy mugshot will certainly frighten off all of the other guys in jail.  They will certainly steer a clear path around you!  They will certainly behave with fear and deference in your presence!  Nobody will dream of making you their project!

Yes, Robert Christopher Hancock, you can rest easy in your cell.

I hope the two jackasses get the shiat kicked out of them in jail...bunch of assholes.

1) Harass the couple all evening until they are finally tossed from the bar,
2) lay in wait until the couple leaves,
3) sucker punch the boyfriend...as opposed to a direct confrontation and fight,
4) throw a person into a river...in the middle of the night...in 27 degree weather,
5) steal from the couple afterwards.

WhyKnot: 1) Harass the couple all evening until they are finally tossed from the bar,
2) lay in wait until the couple leaves,
3) sucker punch the boyfriend...as opposed to a direct confrontation and fight,
4) throw a person into a river...in the middle of the night...in 27 degree weather,
5) steal from the couple afterwards.


I'm pretty sure that could be considered Attempted Murder.