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(The Raw Story)   God may not reveal himself in tragedy or disease, but long-lasting shoes and lots of spaghetti prove God is involved with enriching our daily lives   (rawstory.com) divider line 121
    More: Stupid, god, Dow Chemical, diseases, miracles  
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5089 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Jan 2013 at 12:45 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-10 11:47:33 AM  
www.eatliver.com
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-01-10 11:50:25 AM  
Spaghetti with meatballs.

media.tumblr.com
 
2013-01-10 12:47:56 PM  
I think the Everlasting Gobstopper pretty much proves that God exists.
 
2013-01-10 12:48:11 PM  
Wait until she feels my cock.
 
2013-01-10 12:49:30 PM  
Can't say I give a fark.  I'm sure there are better things you could criticize this pastor for than her belief that durable shoes are gifts from the Lord.
 
2013-01-10 12:50:32 PM  

Valiente: Wait until she feels my cock.


Feeding the multitudes?

;)
 
2013-01-10 12:51:21 PM  
Trust Jesus with your everlasting sole.
 
2013-01-10 12:51:37 PM  
Jesus Christ, this is a good cup of coffee.
 
2013-01-10 12:51:54 PM  
i151.photobucket.com

Same durability as the shoes and tires... why God, why?
 
2013-01-10 12:51:57 PM  
He also blesses us with outstanding athletic achievement. How many touchdowns have North Korean athletes scored? None, because they're officially atheist.
 
2013-01-10 12:52:03 PM  
Pictures of starving children in foreign countries who are all going to he'll.png
 
2013-01-10 12:52:48 PM  
Touched by His Noodly Appendages
 
2013-01-10 12:52:51 PM  
God is watching the level of the olive oil but the kindergarteners are on their own.
 
2013-01-10 12:53:52 PM  
The durable shoes were obviously intelligently designed.
 
2013-01-10 12:54:02 PM  
Mental illness is still mental illness whether you use "God" and "Jesus" or "Oognar the Avacado Lord of the Blurth Dimension of Xloop".
 
2013-01-10 12:54:06 PM  
God or Charles Manson appeared on my iron
i26.photobucket.com


God or the Zig Zag man lives in my ottoman
i26.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-10 12:54:14 PM  
i2.kym-cdn.com

Thus did God command the spaghetti to pour forth from his pockets...
 
2013-01-10 12:54:30 PM  
"Remember when we drove our car... one one set of tires, how many miles was it?" Jacobs asked her husband and fellow prophet, Mike, after the commercial break. "Way, way beyond what could ever happen with one set of tires."

This is satire, right? It has to be fake. Or, it's on Public Access.
 
2013-01-10 12:55:00 PM  
So if I want to stay cool, I should stop wishing for god to smite all the pirates then?
 
2013-01-10 12:56:10 PM  
So those five inch stilettos or thigh high latex boots are a sign of God's blessing?
 
2013-01-10 12:58:35 PM  

Onkel Buck: God or Charles Manson appeared on my iron



God or the Zig Zag man lives in my ottoman


At least one of those is Rasputin.

Also, being delusional and stupid must be awesome.
 
2013-01-10 12:58:50 PM  
Bet these Fruit of the Looms I've been wearing since Tuesday last longer.
 
2013-01-10 12:59:20 PM  

vpb: Spaghetti with meatballs.

[media.tumblr.com image 500x500]


Bravo, you magnificent bastard.  May the FSM smile upon you.
 
2013-01-10 12:59:30 PM  
Married with Children on God's shoes

birthdayshoes.com
 
2013-01-10 12:59:36 PM  
I'd try to say something scathing and witty, but I believe this thread was done in one.
 
2013-01-10 12:59:47 PM  
You ever take a shiat and every wipe comes away clean immediately? That's Jesus telling you he loves you.
 
2013-01-10 01:02:28 PM  
I had a pair of 14 hole Doc Martins in highschool. They lasted me 5 or so years and multiple concerts. Of course I went to a catholic HS, so maybe s/he's on to something.

/They were certainly holey by the end of their life.
//and pretty sure that's a man.
 
2013-01-10 01:02:33 PM  
"I have seen God multiply food more than one time when I was cooking... And I remember spooning out spaghetti or whatever, just praying in the spirit over that, and God just made more and more and more. You know, I've seen oil multiply as I was praying for the sick. I've seen bottles of oil just fill up about a cup a time of oil.

I think this woman has a gas leak in her house... Either that, or she's storing the LSD on the shelf above the cereal again.
 
2013-01-10 01:03:23 PM  
So it's enriched spaghetti?

// that's the joke, orzo I'm told
 
2013-01-10 01:03:36 PM  
He IS real

www.venganza.org
 
2013-01-10 01:03:53 PM  

Onkel Buck: God or Charles Manson appeared on my iron


What makes you think they aren't the same person?
 
2013-01-10 01:04:44 PM  

Counter_Intelligent: Can't say I give a fark.  I'm sure there are better things you could criticize this pastor for than her belief that durable shoes are gifts from the Lord.


How about her personal Hanukkah miracle of never ending oil, or the bottomless spheghetti pot?
 
2013-01-10 01:07:06 PM  

Ed Grubermann: I'd try to say something scathing and witty, but I believe this thread was done in one.


The comments on TFA were done in one, that's for sure:

"Headline: Jesus Saves Soles!"
 
2013-01-10 01:07:50 PM  
interesting how, as mankind's knowledge of the universe and physical laws has increased, belief in an imaginary friend has increasingly become a sign of immaturity or mental imbalance.

Back then:
"God just told me I must sacrifice my only son this very day!"
"Praise the Lourd!!!"

Now:
"God just told me I must sacrifice my only son this very day!"
"Hello, 9-1-1?"
 
2013-01-10 01:08:28 PM  

Mikey1969: Onkel Buck: God or Charles Manson appeared on my iron

What makes you think they aren't the same person?


This. And the Zig Zag guy. And maybe Rasputin.
 
2013-01-10 01:08:40 PM  

tomo12144: So if I want to stay cool, I should stop wishing for god to smite all the pirates then?


Hey now, let's not say things we can't take back.
 
2013-01-10 01:08:58 PM  

Mikey1969: "I have seen God multiply food more than one time when I was cooking... And I remember spooning out spaghetti or whatever, just praying in the spirit over that, and God just made more and more and more. You know, I've seen oil multiply as I was praying for the sick. I've seen bottles of oil just fill up about a cup a time of oil.

I think this woman has a gas leak in her house... Either that, or she's storing the LSD on the shelf above the cereal again.


These are the same people that feel a banana is proof god's divine engineering:
http://wiki.ironchariots.org/index.php?title=Banana_argument

Though completely ignoring how mutated the banana is due to man's selective breeding.
 
2013-01-10 01:09:30 PM  
let's be honest here.... if shoes weren't made so crappy we wouldn't need to want them to last longer. 20 years ago, cheap k-mart shoes lasted about a year and then were good for wearing out to play in. nowadays, the cheap shoes you buy last 2-3 months and aren't worth a damn after that.

should i blame god?
 
2013-01-10 01:09:43 PM  
Where does she stand on magnets?
 
2013-01-10 01:10:01 PM  
That is one ugly transvestite.
 
2013-01-10 01:10:03 PM  
God shoes? Al Bundy is on it!
i47.tinypic.com

/lol at Al for inventing tor shoes.
 
2013-01-10 01:10:19 PM  
Feel free to make fun of this profiteering dingbat, but hmm...God making olive oil last longer? Where have I heard that before?
 
2013-01-10 01:10:25 PM  
I know they need a God in the Gaps, but this is a little beyond silly.
 
2013-01-10 01:10:40 PM  
Way to aim high, God. Slackass.

As an atheist, I have never had as low an opinion of God as people who claim to believe in it. From the stupid things people claim God takes a personal interest in (their own stupid problems, the outcome of sports contests) to God's appearance in things like toast, tree bark and rusty screen doors, they make God sound little better than Donald Trump.

At least I have enough respect for the concept of a higher power that I assume it would have better things to do than watch football or make its image appear on a common household object in some backwater full of ignorant assholes looking to make a quick buck from other ignorant assholes.
 
2013-01-10 01:10:41 PM  

T-Servo: Married with Children on God's shoes

[birthdayshoes.com image 655x254]


Didn't know I was coming for this, but left happy.
 
2013-01-10 01:11:15 PM  
And this is what I don't understand about religious people (particularly some Christians).

A friend of mine the other day was asking me some honestly good questions about my atheism. So I answered by asking her some questions about her faith. But then she told me the story about how she didn't have gas in her car one day, and she had lost her wallet, and she HAD to get somewhere. She drove up to the gas station, opened the door, and below the car was a $20 bill. It proved to her that there was really a God and he was really looking out for her.

So basically I asked her, what make her so special that God would hand her a twenty but God won't hand other Christians food, shelter, or health? Are they less deserving than you? If not, how can you explain why God won't "hand a twenty" over to 3 year olds dying of malnutrition?

Now, I understand there's plenty of philosophies in Christianity regarding why there is evil in the world, but that is not what I am asking. What I'm asking is, why did she believe that God watching out for her nice, educated, middle class prayers, but not the prayers from people that have much larger issues? Why the fark do people think that God answers their prayers to win a football game but God doesn't answer the prayers of 11 year old Christian rape victims with AIDS in the Congo? The whole concept of "God is with me and he proves it in small ways" is just so damn small minded and selfish.

Faith is one thing, but this whole "proof" business is quite another.
 
2013-01-10 01:11:44 PM  
Take this, and eat it.

imageshack.us


With some nice jelly and maybe a little schmear of cream cheese.
 
2013-01-10 01:11:47 PM  
Darn it all!

I didn't see T-Servo's post.
 
2013-01-10 01:14:15 PM  
i.imgur.com

These shoes?
 
2013-01-10 01:16:53 PM  

Smoky Dragon Dish: "Remember when we drove our car... one one set of tires, how many miles was it?" Jacobs asked her husband and fellow prophet, Mike, after the commercial break. "Way, way beyond what could ever happen with one set of tires."

This is satire, right? It has to be fake. Or, it's on Public Access.


No, dear, you are looking at the face of pure psychosis. Scary, isn't it? This is what crazy people REALLY look like.
 
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