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(Daily Mail)   I TAID ny tongue id tuck in da bobble   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 73
    More: Scary, emergency surgery, water bottles  
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6665 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jan 2013 at 8:58 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-09 05:33:48 PM  
When metal bottle are outlawed, only outlaws will have metal bottles!
 
2013-01-09 06:15:21 PM  
That sucks.
 
2013-01-09 07:28:28 PM  
Why didn't they just drill a hole into the bottle to equalize the pressure?
 
2013-01-09 08:09:00 PM  

vossiewulf: Why didn't they just drill a hole into the bottle to equalize the pressure?


Not everybody has a PhD, genius.
 
2013-01-09 08:26:10 PM  

vossiewulf: Why didn't they just drill a hole into the bottle to equalize the pressure?


Well, because THEN they wouldn't have wasted enough time that she would need surgery.  Can't be using these cheap fixes when there's one that will cost ten times as much and work almost as well.
 
2013-01-09 08:27:44 PM  

Triumph: vossiewulf: Why didn't they just drill a hole into the bottle to equalize the pressure?

Not everybody has a PhD, genius.


well if they didn't have that specific kind of drill, couldn't they just borrow one? or buy one at the hardware store?
 
2013-01-09 08:59:39 PM  
"Twiwwy?"
 
2013-01-09 09:00:15 PM  

Indubitably: "Twiwwy?"


Gotcha.

*)
 
2013-01-09 09:02:57 PM  
This wouldn't have happened if we had guns in schools.
 
2013-01-09 09:03:21 PM  
RTFA (lul) the ER sawed the bottom off the bottle. I guess her tongue was swollen and locked in place by then. Stupid little farker. If it was a kid here the bottle would have been pierced within the minute and there would be no issue but most people arent that sensible or practical..
 
2013-01-09 09:05:56 PM  

gaspode: RTFA (lul) the ER sawed the bottom off the bottle. I guess her tongue was swollen and locked in place by then. Stupid little farker. If it was a kid here the bottle would have been pierced within the minute and there would be no issue but most people arent that sensible or practical..

To exsanguinate

 
2013-01-09 09:09:17 PM  

calbert: Triumph: vossiewulf: Why didn't they just drill a hole into the bottle to equalize the pressure?

Not everybody has a PhD, genius.

well if they didn't have that specific kind of drill, couldn't they just borrow one? or buy one at the hardware store?


Ouch. You should feel bad for that joke.
 
2013-01-09 09:12:10 PM  
if they stuck their tongues in a plastic bottle the same size wouldn't it get stuck also?
 
2013-01-09 09:12:46 PM  
All joking aside, she looks terrified in those photos and I feel bad for her.
 
2013-01-09 09:13:19 PM  
also, who sticks their tongue inside a bottle period?
 
2013-01-09 09:13:32 PM  
Sometimes, you just gotta let those last few drops go.
 
2013-01-09 09:14:42 PM  
Why didn't she just unscrew her tongue?
 
2013-01-09 09:18:38 PM  

"NOW it was serious. A double-dog-dare. What else was there but a "triple dare you"? And then, the coup de grace of all dares, the sinister triple-dog-dare. "


Schwartz: "I TRIPLE-dog-dare ya to stick your tongue in the bottle!"


Ralphie: [narrating] Schwartz created a slight breach of etiquette by skipping the triple dare and going right for the throat! "


www.blogcdn.com
 
2013-01-09 09:19:29 PM  
Makes we wonder how the human race has made it this far.
 
amo [TotalFark]
2013-01-09 09:19:49 PM  
I remember doing this with glass bottles when I was a kid, and I didn't need surgery. What's so different about this bottle?
 
2013-01-09 09:21:35 PM  
Now I know that someone put her up to this, but he has refused to say who. But those who did it know their blame, and I'm sure that the guilt they feel is far worse than any punishment they might receive. Now, don't you feel terrible? Don't you feel remorse for what you have done? Well, that's all I'm going to say about that poor girl.
 
2013-01-09 09:21:47 PM  
Someone who went to my high school long ago did something similar to this, but it wasn't with his tongue. What part, you ask? Well, his name from that point on was "Coke Poke."

I'm imagining the reaction of the volunteer firemen attending to that particular emergency...
 
2013-01-09 09:22:27 PM  

What_Would_Jimi_Do: if they stuck their tongues in a plastic bottle the same size wouldn't it get stuck also?


you can squeeze a plastic bottle and thus pop it off the tongue. Metal bottles are rigid. As are glass bottles, good job those never became popular eh!
 
2013-01-09 09:24:48 PM  
Metal punch, and a sewing needle woulda solve this one imo.
 
2013-01-09 09:28:04 PM  
Drill would be far to difficult to use on a bottle stuck to a child's face, given that the surface is curved.

Every household should have a handheld rotary tool (Dremel-type) with cutting disks.
 
2013-01-09 09:29:41 PM  
Oh gosh, look at all that blood in the bottle.
 
2013-01-09 09:31:44 PM  
Glass and plastic bottles are smooth and you can pull your tongue out. These metal bottles can have fairly sharp threads that can grip the tongue. On top of that they're not easy to pierce quickly. I still think it's a case of us not being allowed nice things because of stupid people.
 
2013-01-09 09:35:32 PM  

RKTeuthis: Drill would be far to difficult to use on a bottle stuck to a child's face, given that the surface is curved.


I bet there is a flat portion of the bottle somewhere. Hmm, let me set my bottle down and ponder where the flat portion of a bottle could be...
 
2013-01-09 09:38:45 PM  

swingbozo: RKTeuthis: Drill would be far to difficult to use on a bottle stuck to a child's face, given that the surface is curved.

I bet there is a flat portion of the bottle somewhere. Hmm, let me set my bottle down and ponder where the flat portion of a bottle could be...


Yes, but there's also the fact that that would be pushing on the kid's face. Go ahead, try it.

I was discounting that option and thinking you'd probably want to rest the bottle on some surface to srtabilize it, if at all possible (keeping the kid still).
 
2013-01-09 09:39:45 PM  
All girls.
 
2013-01-09 09:41:10 PM  
That is sofa king we todd it.
 
2013-01-09 09:41:45 PM  

RKTeuthis:
Yes, but there's also the fact that that would be pushing on the kid's face. Go ahead, try it.

I was discounting that option and thinking you'd probably want to rest the bottle on some surface to srtabilize it, if at all possible (keeping the kid still).


Clamp the thing to a table, with kid adjusted appropriately. Have you ever handled a drill?
 
2013-01-09 09:50:26 PM  

Russ1642: Glass and plastic bottles are smooth and you can pull your tongue out. These metal bottles can have fairly sharp threads that can grip the tongue. On top of that . I still think it's a case of us not being allowed nice things because of stupid people.


Really? They're not easy to pierce quickly?They had police there. A simple shot throughthe bottom would have solved the problem easily.

/To protect and serve, isn't it?
//She'd never get a bottle stuck on her tongue ever again.
///Nor put anything but food on her tongue, to the determent of all mankind.
 
2013-01-09 09:50:32 PM  

swingbozo: RKTeuthis:
Yes, but there's also the fact that that would be pushing on the kid's face. Go ahead, try it.

I was discounting that option and thinking you'd probably want to rest the bottle on some surface to srtabilize it, if at all possible (keeping the kid still).

Clamp the thing to a table, with kid adjusted appropriately. Have you ever handled a drill?


Wow, shall we get Rube Goldberg through a medium to figure out neat contraption too?

I know you want to be right, but that's just too damned bad. A rotary tool with a cutting disk can be used while holding the bottle in your hand without having to drag the kid out to the workshop to use the table clamp, if you happen to have one for such emergencies.

Remember, i was going for speed and simplicity, but if you want to dick around while nerve damage sets in, be my guest.
 
2013-01-09 09:50:45 PM  

swingbozo: RKTeuthis:
Yes, but there's also the fact that that would be pushing on the kid's face. Go ahead, try it.

I was discounting that option and thinking you'd probably want to rest the bottle on some surface to srtabilize it, if at all possible (keeping the kid still).

Clamp the thing to a table, with kid adjusted appropriately. Have you ever handled a drill?



I wonder how hot the metal bottle got.
 
2013-01-09 10:08:25 PM  
Jr. most likely farked around long enough that a simple release of pressure wouldn't work because the tongue had swollen up.

Then again, Jr. was dumb enough to keep sucking the bottle so....Darwin cut off at the pass!
 
2013-01-09 10:11:29 PM  

RKTeuthis: A rotary tool with a cutting disk can be used while holding the bottle in your hand without having to drag the kid out to the workshop


Plus they shoot sparks everywhere, which is guaranteed to terrify the kid resulting in screaming and flopping around like a landed mackerel.

Just kidding although yes you'd get some sparks it would be work and you would do it anywhere. However, I'd say a small spherical bit would be better, it wouldn't drift and would get through much quicker with less theatrics. But also a drill would work fine as long as you have some kind of punch or nail to get a little dent to start and a firm surface to hold the bottle still against.
 
2013-01-09 10:13:56 PM  

Tanukis_Parachute: That is sofa king we todd it.


someone replied to my e -mail once with Todd It in the subject line. Just so I could laugh by myself.
 
2013-01-09 10:14:43 PM  

Pinner: Tanukis_Parachute: That is sofa king we todd it.

someone replied to my e -mail once with Todd It in the subject line. Just so I could laugh by myself.


That sounds private.
 
2013-01-09 10:16:20 PM  

Indubitably: Pinner: Tanukis_Parachute: That is sofa king we todd it.

someone replied to my e -mail once with Todd It in the subject line. Just so I could laugh by myself.

That sounds private.


it sounds
Re: Todd It
 
2013-01-09 10:17:10 PM  
Saddly this all could have been avoided if as soon as her tongue got stuck, the acted with using a straw or some kind of hole punch method. Once her tongue started to swell though it was over and surgery would be needed.
 
2013-01-09 10:21:22 PM  

vossiewulf:

Just kidding although yes you'd get some sparks it would be work and you would do it anywhere. However, I'd say a small spherical bit would be better, it wouldn't drift and would get through much quicker with less theatrics. But also a drill would work fine as long as you have some kind of punch or nail to get a little dent to start and a firm surface to hold the bottle still against.


drift? hmm.

I accept your challenge! Dueling solutions at noon!

May the best Farker win!

./just kidding, I don't give a shiat
//more than one way to skin a kid... err cat
 
2013-01-09 10:33:44 PM  

Pinner: Indubitably: Pinner: Tanukis_Parachute: That is sofa king we todd it.

someone replied to my e -mail once with Todd It in the subject line. Just so I could laugh by myself.

That sounds private.

it sounds
Re: Todd It


No doubt?

More face: NSS?
 
2013-01-09 10:46:18 PM  
My Dad loves to tell the story of how when he was a kid he got his tongue stuck in a Coke bottle. Apparently in East Tennessee at the time it was cool to open a bottle of Coke and pour in a small pouch of peanuts and drink it. Most of the time it went well, but this one time there was one last peanut stuck to the bottom of the inside of the bottle. No matter how many times he shook it, the peanut would not come loose. So he tried to suck it out with a little suction. But that was not working either so he put his tongue over the mouth of the bottle to get another breath for double the suction. He slipped, that's how he ended up with his tongue in stuck in the neck of the bottle.

Panic set in when he realized relaxing pulled it in more. My Grandma freaked out when she saw what happened and tried to pull it off, but that just hurt. My Grandpa assessed the situation, calmly waked over, grabbed the bottle and lead my Dad out to the back yard to a stump that had an axe next to it. My Dad said he thought my Grandpa was mad at him and was going to do something horrible as punishment. Grandpa picked up the axe, set the bottle on the end of the stump and with one swift motion broke off the bottom of the bottle with no harm to my Dad. He dropped the axe and said "Bet you will not try that again" and walked away.
 
2013-01-09 10:50:11 PM  

amo: I remember doing this with glass bottles when I was a kid, and I didn't need surgery. What's so different about this bottle?



Didn't you notice the distinctive metallic colors? The custom grip? The high caliber mouthpiece? The bayonet lugs and the flesh suppressors?

These are ASSAULT bottles,  specifically designed to destroy the tongue.

/BAN
//BAN
///BAN
 
2013-01-09 10:53:02 PM  
Stop sucking on bottles with internal cut metal thread! The stamped/rolled threaded ones are okay, though. More hygienic, too.

I would expect those cut threads are painful to rub your tongue against even without drawing a vacuum.
 
2013-01-09 10:58:02 PM  
How about holding an ice cube to the neck of the bottle to shrink the tongue, anybody think of that? no? sheesh
 
2013-01-09 10:59:59 PM  

gaspode: RTFA (lul) the ER sawed the bottom off the bottle.


EMT shears, don't fail me now!

/many of those bottles are thin walled
 
2013-01-09 11:01:27 PM  
500motivators.com

/slackers
 
2013-01-09 11:04:18 PM  

Wulfman: Clamp the thing to a table, with kid adjusted appropriately. Have you ever handled a drill?

I wonder how hot the metal bottle got.


Depends on exactly what the bottle was made of. Stainless steel, for example, isn't actually a very good conductor of heat; glassblowers use steel blowpipes, where you've got a blob of molten glass on one end and your mouth on the other, and they don't get hurt. Aluminum could be a very different story.
 
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