If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Wired)   A mysterious new dark force in the universe has been discovered in Long Beach, California   (wired.com) divider line 43
    More: Cool, universe, Long Beach, weak forces, Musket Ball Cluster, galaxy clusters, dwarf galaxies, galactic collisions, dark matter  
•       •       •

10102 clicks; posted to Geek » on 09 Jan 2013 at 7:45 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



43 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-01-09 04:09:10 PM  
Why should the number of types of matter stop at two? Maybe the ether quantum field has an infinite number of dimensions / degrees of freedom. We're using a bucket of them for our own universe (light). A parallel universe (dark) uses another bucket, but shares gravity with us. And then there's the mauve universe which doesn't interact with our own but does interact with the dark and cyan universes through the squiggly and squishy forces. And if we look close enough there may be two types of dark matter detectable by us.

I sense full employment for future particle physicists. We need a bigger particle accelerator to properly probe these alternate universes. (But see Einstein's Bridge as a cautionary tale.)
 
2013-01-09 04:53:02 PM  

ZAZ: Why should the number of types of matter stop at two? Maybe the ether quantum field has an infinite number of dimensions / degrees of freedom. We're using a bucket of them for our own universe (light). A parallel universe (dark) uses another bucket, but shares gravity with us. And then there's the mauve universe which doesn't interact with our own but does interact with the dark and cyan universes through the squiggly and squishy forces. And if we look close enough there may be two types of dark matter detectable by us.

I sense full employment for future particle physicists. We need a bigger particle accelerator to properly probe these alternate universes. (But see Einstein's Bridge as a cautionary tale.)


I picture you having a goatee and fondling an agonizer while giving this speech.
 
2013-01-09 05:38:30 PM  
The best part of this article is that one of the physicists quoted is named Finkbeiner.
 
2013-01-09 06:17:36 PM  

ZAZ: Why should the number of types of matter stop at two? Maybe the ether quantum field has an infinite number of dimensions / degrees of freedom. We're using a bucket of them for our own universe (light). A parallel universe (dark) uses another bucket, but shares gravity with us. And then there's the mauve universe which doesn't interact with our own but does interact with the dark and cyan universes through the squiggly and squishy forces. And if we look close enough there may be two types of dark matter detectable by us.

I sense full employment for future particle physicists. We need a bigger particle accelerator to properly probe these alternate universes. (But see Einstein's Bridge as a cautionary tale.)


I don't know why they call them fingers...I've never seen them fing.
 
2013-01-09 06:49:54 PM  

Darth_Lukecash: ZAZ: Why should the number of types of matter stop at two? Maybe the ether quantum field has an infinite number of dimensions / degrees of freedom. We're using a bucket of them for our own universe (light). A parallel universe (dark) uses another bucket, but shares gravity with us. And then there's the mauve universe which doesn't interact with our own but does interact with the dark and cyan universes through the squiggly and squishy forces. And if we look close enough there may be two types of dark matter detectable by us.

I sense full employment for future particle physicists. We need a bigger particle accelerator to properly probe these alternate universes. (But see Einstein's Bridge as a cautionary tale.)

I picture you having a goatee and fondling an agonizer while giving this speech.


dl.dropbox.com
 
2013-01-09 07:26:13 PM  
I'm loaded with dark matter. Excuse me for a min...
 
2013-01-09 07:36:36 PM  
Snoop has been a well-known dark force in the LBC for years.
 
2013-01-09 07:48:53 PM  
Forget the dark matter.  I'll have the dark meat.  With three waffles.

img.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-09 08:00:17 PM  
twimg0-a.akamaihd.net
 
2013-01-09 08:02:34 PM  
Steve Jobs? He's been dead for years now.
 
2013-01-09 08:20:08 PM  
Loved this game and its absolutely amazing modding community back in the day.
images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-01-09 08:21:46 PM  
Yeah... we're deep into the "fark it, let's just say its something something Dark Force and go get a beer" era of physics.
 
2013-01-09 09:02:46 PM  
www.hypursuit.com ?
 
2013-01-09 09:19:48 PM  
A question for the physicists on Fark: If I had a pile of dark matter in front of me, could I see it? Pick it up? Put it in a snow globe and make it rain dark matter on a miniture Statue of Liberty?
 
2013-01-09 09:22:32 PM  
Dark matter is composed of the souls of the dead.
 
2013-01-09 09:29:29 PM  

big pig peaches: A question for the physicists on Fark: If I had a pile of dark matter in front of me, could I see it? Pick it up? Put it in a snow globe and make it rain dark matter on a miniture Statue of Liberty?


Yes no yes yes yes no no no yes no yes yes no and no.
 
2013-01-09 09:35:39 PM  
Nice going, Einstein
 
2013-01-09 09:36:16 PM  
The problem looking at deep-field images is you have to remind yourself that you're looking into the distant past.

These galaxies are no longer in those positions and may not exist anymore in the form we see -- the further out we look, the older it is.

That's why 3D maps of the known universe are misleading because as you rotate it and move through them it bears no relation to the true current state or position of them.

If you did a thought experiment where light traveled so slowly on a human scale of distances -- e.g. if light took a century to travel the distance of the walls of the room you are in now -- you might see a tree or a cow that lived in the open field before your house was built instead of seeing your driveway or the previous occupant instead of a chair.

Speed of light really distorts things.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-01-09 09:39:02 PM  
big pig peaches

Dark matter is probably not made of anything you would notice if it were piled in front of you, except it couldn't be in a pile in front of you because it would fall through the surface of the earth.

There were theories of dark matter that had it composed of normal matter than you can touch. The term is "baryonic dark matter." Various tests have ruled out broad classes of baryonic dark matter. For example, if dark matter were made of stray planets we would notice a much higher rate of gravitational microlensing.

We can only speculate if the speculative dark matter in the article can even form piles. Physical constants have to be precisely tuned to allow a universe like ours, with stars and rocks and jellyfish. If dark matter is like ours but the strong and weak nuclear forces are a bit weaker, dark stars don't form. Dark black holes, maybe, but not dark stars. I assume the "no hair" law says dark black holes look like light black holes and decay into an equal mix of light and dark particles, which suggests an interesting way to test theories of dark matter. Create a black hole, count the decay products, measure the mass, and see if some mass goes missing. This is similar to how neutrinos were discovered.

We can also put some limits on what dark matter is by comparing theories of primordial nucleosynthesis to observed element abundances. Non-baryonic dark matter has to be something really weird.
 
2013-01-09 09:51:35 PM  
A body slowly collects particles of dark matter over time.  This is why old people fall so much harder than children.
 
2013-01-09 09:55:08 PM  

lohphat: The problem looking at deep-field images is you have to remind yourself that you're looking into the distant past.

These galaxies are no longer in those positions and may not exist anymore in the form we see -- the further out we look, the older it is.

That's why 3D maps of the known universe are misleading because as you rotate it and move through them it bears no relation to the true current state or position of them.

If you did a thought experiment where light traveled so slowly on a human scale of distances -- e.g. if light took a century to travel the distance of the walls of the room you are in now -- you might see a tree or a cow that lived in the open field before your house was built instead of seeing your driveway or the previous occupant instead of a chair.

Speed of light really distorts things.


I'm not sure how that's relevant. The galaxies and related dark matter were in this state at some point in the past, and that state requires an explanation, thus inferring a "dark" (ugh) force.
 
2013-01-09 10:10:02 PM  

big pig peaches: A question for the physicists on Fark: If I had a pile of dark matter in front of me, could I see it? Pick it up? Put it in a snow globe and make it rain dark matter on a miniture Statue of Liberty?


No, you wouldn't be able to pick it up. Theoretically, dark matter does not interact through the electromagnetic force (which is why we can't see it... it doesn't get "warm" and emit radiation like a stellar dust cloud).

It would most likely look invisible, pass through everything, and fall toward the center of the earth (since it still interacts gravitationally, which is the original reason why we think it's out there).

However, there are some dark matter candidates called "weakly interacting massive particles". These WIMPs may act like a massive neutrino, so perhaps they occasionally undergo weak nuclear interaction with other matter, but nonetheless would they would remain fairly invisible and "massless" to anyone trying to hold a clump of them in their hands.

If ghosts were real, this is the stuff they would be made out of ;)
 
2013-01-09 10:34:07 PM  
LRG 3-757, an example of an Einstein ring

Seriously, can we stop with these RGIII threads?
 
2013-01-09 10:41:39 PM  
Ah yes, Dark Matter. A new Aether for a new generation.
 
2013-01-09 10:45:30 PM  

lohphat: The problem looking at deep-field images is you have to remind yourself that you're looking into the distant past.

These galaxies are no longer in those positions and may not exist anymore in the form we see -- the further out we look, the older it is.

That's why 3D maps of the known universe are misleading because as you rotate it and move through them it bears no relation to the true current state or position of them.

If you did a thought experiment where light traveled so slowly on a human scale of distances -- e.g. if light took a century to travel the distance of the walls of the room you are in now -- you might see a tree or a cow that lived in the open field before your house was built instead of seeing your driveway or the previous occupant instead of a chair.

Speed of light really distorts things.


Or, record video at a trillion frames a second, fast enough to slow down and see a light pulse. (Sorta. See description for details.)

Or, play a video game called "A slower speed of light".
 
2013-01-09 11:14:43 PM  

lohphat: The problem looking at deep-field images is you have to remind yourself that you're looking into the distant past.

These galaxies are no longer in those positions and may not exist anymore in the form we see -- the further out we look, the older it is.

That's why 3D maps of the known universe are misleading because as you rotate it and move through them it bears no relation to the true current state or position of them.

If you did a thought experiment where light traveled so slowly on a human scale of distances -- e.g. if light took a century to travel the distance of the walls of the room you are in now -- you might see a tree or a cow that lived in the open field before your house was built instead of seeing your driveway or the previous occupant instead of a chair.

Speed of light really distorts things.

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-09 11:14:49 PM  
24.media.tumblr.com?

/We're so farked...
 
2013-01-09 11:50:24 PM  

ZAZ: Why should the number of types of matter stop at two? Maybe the ether quantum field has an infinite number of dimensions / degrees of freedom. We're using a bucket of them for our own universe (light). A parallel universe (dark) uses another bucket, but shares gravity with us. And then there's the mauve universe which doesn't interact with our own but does interact with the dark and cyan universes through the squiggly and squishy forces. And if we look close enough there may be two types of dark matter detectable by us.

I sense full employment for future particle physicists. We need a bigger particle accelerator to properly probe these alternate universes. (But see Einstein's Bridge as a cautionary tale.)


BINGO! Always follow the money.
 
2013-01-10 12:18:27 AM  

Just Another OC Homeless Guy: BINGO! Always follow the money.


Eh? If you're suggesting physicists are making this up just to get money, you...

... You really have no idea what makes people get into science, do you?

/Hint: If their primary concern was making lots of money, THEY WOULD NOT HAVE BECOME PHYSICISTS.
 
2013-01-10 12:18:51 AM  
Dark matter walks like this....duhm, duhm, duhm.
Light Matter walks like this...dee, dee, dee
 
2013-01-10 01:14:03 AM  

Felgraf: Just Another OC Homeless Guy: BINGO! Always follow the money.

Eh? If you're suggesting physicists are making this up just to get money, you...

... You really have no idea what makes people get into science, do you?

/Hint: If their primary concern was making lots of money, THEY WOULD NOT HAVE BECOME PHYSICISTS.


What? WHAT? You are seriously naive. You think that physicists spend all their time pushing paper, managing the buildings, hiring and firing support personnel, and attending funding and grant meetings? Nope, They have people for that. These are the science managers. The professionals who manage the actual scientists. These people (generally) may or (sometimes) may not have a science background; if they do, they are, in fact, not happy doing that. They're after the money. And the empires.
 
2013-01-10 01:24:53 AM  
This is why I went into folklore and cryptozoology: I'm convinced that those physicists are just making shiat up.
 
2013-01-10 01:29:25 AM  

ZAZ: Why should the number of types of matter stop at two? Maybe the ether quantum field has an infinite number of dimensions / degrees of freedom. We're using a bucket of them for our own universe (light). A parallel universe (dark) uses another bucket, but shares gravity with us. And then there's the mauve universe which doesn't interact with our own but does interact with the dark and cyan universes through the squiggly and squishy forces. And if we look close enough there may be two types of dark matter detectable by us.


So what you are saying is there may be no interaction between the plaid and paisley planes of reality and our own?
 
2013-01-10 01:38:48 AM  

Just Another OC Homeless Guy: Felgraf: Just Another OC Homeless Guy: BINGO! Always follow the money.

Eh? If you're suggesting physicists are making this up just to get money, you...

... You really have no idea what makes people get into science, do you?

/Hint: If their primary concern was making lots of money, THEY WOULD NOT HAVE BECOME PHYSICISTS.

What? WHAT? You are seriously naive. You think that physicists spend all their time pushing paper, managing the buildings, hiring and firing support personnel, and attending funding and grant meetings? Nope, They have people for that. These are the science managers. The professionals who manage the actual scientists. These people (generally) may or (sometimes) may not have a science background; if they do, they are, in fact, not happy doing that. They're after the money. And the empires.


and the inators.
 
2013-01-10 02:15:29 AM  
About 12 percent of my mass is found in hot gas, so I am getting a kick out of these clusters.
 
2013-01-10 02:31:20 AM  
Every physicist seemingly harbours a not-at-all secret desire to discover a new form of matter, and the attached Nobel prize. Hence they throw out a description of a proposed new form every time an experimental result looks at all novel. The principle being that there is nothing to lose from being wrong (everyone else is doing it so no-one minds) and a hell of a lot to gain from being right.

Only half sarcastic..
 
2013-01-10 03:08:51 AM  
That's racist!
 
2013-01-10 04:07:44 AM  
i21.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-10 04:21:49 AM  

ZAZ: Why should the number of types of matter stop at two? Maybe the ether quantum field has an infinite number of dimensions / degrees of freedom. We're using a bucket of them for our own universe (light). A parallel universe (dark) uses another bucket, but shares gravity with us. And then there's the mauve universe which doesn't interact with our own but does interact with the dark and cyan universes through the squiggly and squishy forces. And if we look close enough there may be two types of dark matter detectable by us.

I sense full employment for future particle physicists. We need a bigger particle accelerator to properly probe these alternate universes. (But see Einstein's Bridge as a cautionary tale.)


Ever heard of Mirror matter? We're fairly certain that it exists.
 
2013-01-10 05:02:24 AM  
How much of the Earth is dark matter?
 
2013-01-10 05:38:04 AM  

Nem Wan: Loved this game and its absolutely amazing modding community back in the day.
[images2.wikia.nocookie.net image 300x383]


Indeed. I re-bought it years later as part of a Steam deal. It hasn't really aged well. I wanted to play the whole series but they don't seem to play nicely with modern graphics hardware.

/also loved the Jedi Knight/Jedi Academy series and KOTOR
//wonders what he'll think of Mass Effect in 10 years time -- it's pretty awesome now, but who knows how it'll age?
///having everything require online activation and whatnot these days pretty much kills off any plans for games to have a lifespan of more than 10 years or so. This is a bad thing.
 
2013-01-10 06:31:30 AM  
Geez Louise, you'd think these guys never saw anti-gravity before? They write like they never took a class in 22nd Century Picophysics.

The magnetic deflection of the qQ-type fractured particles is way too weak to be detected optically. If they would just re-route the power from their wide-spectrum magnetometer back into the forward deflection array a simple level 3 diagnostic would show the irregularities.

After that you're just a hacked Heisenberg compensator away from making it so: Flip polarity of the in-stream Baryon particles and voila! You can create a reverse tachyon field using a phased-photon particle emitter to focus your readings. The results will be so apparent a 2nd year Quantum Engineering major could write the dissertation.
 
2013-01-10 05:23:23 PM  

Just Another OC Homeless Guy: BINGO! Always follow the money.


OK, if you say so.
 
Displayed 43 of 43 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report