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(Scientific American)   Remember Steve Martin yelling "The new phone books are here" in The Jerk? This is like that only more horrifying   (blogs.scientificamerican.com) divider line 33
    More: Scary, JAMA, drug-resistant, social stigma, penicillins  
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19160 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jan 2013 at 4:03 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-09 02:33:19 PM  
What lots of people don't realize is that Chlamydia and Gonorrhea, in addition to being beautiful, floral names, are actually mortal enemies. Well, not enemies, exactly. I mean, they're not sentient. But they're like flip sides of the same coin, like the characters in that Stephen King book where the guy got carried off by sparrows. Can you imagine that? Being carried off by sparrows? I try to figure that sometimes, think of how many sparrows it would take to lift an average-sized man into the air. And how would the ones who are actually bearing his weight still fly? I mean, I can't imagine their wings could still flap, which I guess means they'd have to be carried themselves by other sparrows. Which in turn means THOSE sparrows couldn't fly. So you'd have a whole flock of sparrows who couldn't flap their wings, which means they really couldn't lift anybody. But, oh well. It's about suspending disbelief, I guess. HAH, suspending. Get it?

Anyway, chlamydia and gonorrhea. So they're, like, each others dark halves. If one of them gets in you, you have it. But if the other one gets in you while you have the first one, it will seek out its enemy and they will do great battle within your immune system. And they will destroy each other. Well, most of the time. Every now and then one of them gets lucky, and manages to outclass its mortal enemy, and when it wins...hooo, boy. It's like in the book where the one twin devoured his other twin in the womb, teeth and all. And he was born this supervillain.

Believe you me, you don't want to be infected by a victorious dose of super Chlamydia that's just devoured a defeated Gonorrhea. That's bad news all over the place. Baaaad news.
 
2013-01-09 03:24:09 PM  
There.. there's really no reason to continue this thread, now.
 
2013-01-09 03:56:56 PM  
Seen under a microscope:

img.fark.net
 
2013-01-09 04:09:19 PM  
Well you can't say that immigrant is undocumented.
 
2013-01-09 04:09:58 PM  
www.urbachletter.com

I'm somebody!
Things are going to start happening to me now!

/Don't get it.
 
2013-01-09 04:10:33 PM  

Pocket Ninja: What lots of people don't realize is that Chlamydia and Gonorrhea, in addition to being beautiful, floral names, are actually mortal enemies. Well, not enemies, exactly. I mean, they're not sentient. But they're like flip sides of the same coin, like the characters in that Stephen King book where the guy got carried off by sparrows. Can you imagine that? Being carried off by sparrows? I try to figure that sometimes, think of how many sparrows it would take to lift an average-sized man into the air. And how would the ones who are actually bearing his weight still fly? I mean, I can't imagine their wings could still flap, which I guess means they'd have to be carried themselves by other sparrows. Which in turn means THOSE sparrows couldn't fly. So you'd have a whole flock of sparrows who couldn't flap their wings, which means they really couldn't lift anybody. But, oh well. It's about suspending disbelief, I guess. HAH, suspending. Get it?

Anyway, chlamydia and gonorrhea. So they're, like, each others dark halves. If one of them gets in you, you have it. But if the other one gets in you while you have the first one, it will seek out its enemy and they will do great battle within your immune system. And they will destroy each other. Well, most of the time. Every now and then one of them gets lucky, and manages to outclass its mortal enemy, and when it wins...hooo, boy. It's like in the book where the one twin devoured his other twin in the womb, teeth and all. And he was born this supervillain.

Believe you me, you don't want to be infected by a victorious dose of super Chlamydia that's just devoured a defeated Gonorrhea. That's bad news all over the place. Baaaad news.


An African or European sparrow?
 
2013-01-09 04:12:55 PM  
Well I guess I should stop banging all those whores now.......
 
2013-01-09 04:15:13 PM  

justanotherfarkinfarker: Well I guess I should stop banging all those whores now.......


Just the dirty ones.
 
2013-01-09 04:18:24 PM  
Appropriate for this threads:

'Fishes'.


/Gene Masseth
 
2013-01-09 04:19:12 PM  
It's the gift that keeps on giving.
 
2013-01-09 04:19:58 PM  
The Lord loves a working man.

Don't trust whitey.

See a doctor and get rid of it.
 
2013-01-09 04:22:02 PM  
Link farked. I hope it used protection.
 
2013-01-09 04:25:46 PM  
Johnson, Navin R. Sounds like a typical bastard.
 
2013-01-09 04:26:56 PM  

Relatively Obscure: There.. there's really no reason to continue this thread, now.


Why don't my pockets ever have any ninja in them?
 
2013-01-09 04:31:31 PM  
i26.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-09 04:31:36 PM  
Just a thought but if everyone just used a condom this would not be an issue right?
 
2013-01-09 04:31:37 PM  
Farkers whack off all the time and never get a chance to get an STD so how does this change our lives?
 
2013-01-09 04:34:38 PM  
STDs are only horrifying to people who have sex. And only a subset of that group, really.
 
2013-01-09 04:35:32 PM  
Well this is bad news for my alma mater...

/It's in New Jersey and its mascot was a knight in scarlet.
 
2013-01-09 04:37:36 PM  

praymantis: Just a thought but if everyone just used a condom this would not be an issue right?


It would be less of one, but condoms still break, slip off, etc., even when used correctly.

Penile-vaginal and penile-anal intercourse are also not the only transmission routes for gonorrhea and chlamydia, they can also be transmitted via oral-penile, oral-vaginal, or oral-anal contact as well.
 
2013-01-09 04:44:06 PM  

geekbikerskum: praymantis: Just a thought but if everyone just used a condom this would not be an issue right?

It would be less of one, but condoms still break, slip off, etc., even when used correctly.

Penile-vaginal and penile-anal intercourse are also not the only transmission routes for gonorrhea and chlamydia, they can also be transmitted via oral-penile, oral-vaginal, or oral-anal contact as well.


...go on...
 
2013-01-09 04:50:08 PM  

dv-ous: geekbikerskum: praymantis: Just a thought but if everyone just used a condom this would not be an issue right?

It would be less of one, but condoms still break, slip off, etc., even when used correctly.

Penile-vaginal and penile-anal intercourse are also not the only transmission routes for gonorrhea and chlamydia, they can also be transmitted via oral-penile, oral-vaginal, or oral-anal contact as well.

...go on...


Would that be with or without the disgusting slides of gonorrhea sores I saw in Health class back in the early 80s? :-P
 
2013-01-09 05:03:51 PM  

Pocket Ninja: What lots of people don't realize is that Chlamydia and Gonorrhea, in addition to being beautiful, floral names, are actually mortal enemies. Well, not enemies, exactly. I mean, they're not sentient. But they're like flip sides of the same coin, like the characters in that Stephen King book where the guy got carried off by sparrows. Can you imagine that? Being carried off by sparrows? I try to figure that sometimes, think of how many sparrows it would take to lift an average-sized man into the air. And how would the ones who are actually bearing his weight still fly? I mean, I can't imagine their wings could still flap, which I guess means they'd have to be carried themselves by other sparrows. Which in turn means THOSE sparrows couldn't fly. So you'd have a whole flock of sparrows who couldn't flap their wings, which means they really couldn't lift anybody. But, oh well. It's about suspending disbelief, I guess. HAH, suspending. Get it?

Anyway, chlamydia and gonorrhea. So they're, like, each others dark halves. If one of them gets in you, you have it. But if the other one gets in you while you have the first one, it will seek out its enemy and they will do great battle within your immune system. And they will destroy each other. Well, most of the time. Every now and then one of them gets lucky, and manages to outclass its mortal enemy, and when it wins...hooo, boy. It's like in the book where the one twin devoured his other twin in the womb, teeth and all. And he was born this supervillain.

Believe you me, you don't want to be infected by a victorious dose of super Chlamydia that's just devoured a defeated Gonorrhea. That's bad news all over the place. Baaaad news.


So, this is how that happened to you
 
2013-01-09 05:38:53 PM  

geekbikerskum: dv-ous: geekbikerskum: praymantis: Just a thought but if everyone just used a condom this would not be an issue right?

It would be less of one, but condoms still break, slip off, etc., even when used correctly.

Penile-vaginal and penile-anal intercourse are also not the only transmission routes for gonorrhea and chlamydia, they can also be transmitted via oral-penile, oral-vaginal, or oral-anal contact as well.

...go on...

Would that be with or without the disgusting slides of gonorrhea sores I saw in Health class back in the early 80s? :-P


*unzips*

With, oh god yes, with
 
2013-01-09 06:55:15 PM  
praymantis:

Just a thought but if everyone just used a condom this would not be an issue right?

More or less. I took to using those after I got chlamydia for the fourth time, twice from the same chick who thought that the disappearance of symptoms meant she could stop taking the pills.

Of course now I'm too ugly for anyone to want to touch and too poor to pay for it so I'm safe. I'll never have to buy another condom again.
 
2013-01-09 06:56:35 PM  

geekbikerskum: praymantis:

Just a thought but if everyone just used a condom this would not be an issue right?

It would be less of one, but condoms still break, slip off, etc., even when used correctly.

Penile-vaginal and penile-anal intercourse are also not the only transmission routes for gonorrhea and
chlamydia, they can also be transmitted via oral-penile, oral-vaginal, or oral-anal contact as well.


Even wanking might not be 100% safe if you have warts on your hands.
 
2013-01-09 07:10:03 PM  

The One True TheDavid: the same chick who thought that the disappearance of symptoms meant she could stop taking the pills.


[picard_double_facepalm.jpg]

People like her are why drug-resistant strains of diseases evolve so rapidly. If you stop taking the drugs before all the bacteria are gone, the ones that survive and multiply are the drug-resistant ones.
 
2013-01-10 04:18:55 AM  
Don't have promiscuous sex and you won't get STD's to start with. Why is that so hard for people to understand?
 
2013-01-10 03:06:30 PM  

Cloudchaser Sakonige the Red Wolf: Don't have promiscuous sex and you won't get STD's to start with. Why is that so hard for people to understand?


Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

Oh, wait. You're serious.

That dirty, dirty sex, huh?
 
2013-01-11 03:16:52 AM  

Runs_With_Scissors_: Cloudchaser Sakonige the Red Wolf: Don't have promiscuous sex and you won't get STD's to start with. Why is that so hard for people to understand?

Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

Oh, wait. You're serious.

That dirty, dirty sex, huh?


I didn't say "don't have sex," I said "don't have promiscuous sex." Huge difference there. Someone in a monogamous relationship is far less likely to get an STD than someone with multiple partners.
 
2013-01-11 01:42:37 PM  

Cloudchaser Sakonige the Red Wolf: Runs_With_Scissors_: Cloudchaser Sakonige the Red Wolf: Don't have promiscuous sex and you won't get STD's to start with. Why is that so hard for people to understand?

Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

Oh, wait. You're serious.

That dirty, dirty sex, huh?
.
I didn't say "don't have sex," I said "don't have promiscuous sex." Huge difference there. Someone in a monogamous relationship is far less likely to get an STD than someone with multiple partners.


If only there were things like condoms and dental dams...  Well, maybe someone will invent them one day

So, what is your definition of promiscuous?
 
2013-01-12 02:49:19 AM  

Runs_With_Scissors_: So, what is your definition of promiscuous?


Specifically, I was thinking of people who have sex with anyone who'll have sex with them.

Perhaps I should have said unprotected sex instead of just promiscuous.
 
2013-01-12 02:08:27 PM  

Cloudchaser Sakonige the Red Wolf: Runs_With_Scissors_: So, what is your definition of promiscuous?

Specifically, I was thinking of people who have sex with anyone who'll have sex with them.

Perhaps I should have said unprotected sex instead of just promiscuous.


I'll back you 100% on that. Unprotected sex is just plain stupid.
 
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