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(The Hollywood Gossip)   Bill Maher makes joke $5 million bet with Donald Trump for him to release birth certificate to prove he isn't "spawn of his mother having sex with an orangutan;" Trump releases birth certificate, demands Maher to pay up or there will be hell toupee   (thehollywoodgossip.com) divider line 133
    More: Dumbass, Donald Trump, Bill Maher, birth certificates, orangutans, Celebrity Apprentice  
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13102 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jan 2013 at 4:03 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-09 04:34:42 PM  
Why all the hatin on Bill Mahr?

I know he has said a handfull of douchy things, but I think he's pretty funny. I guess when he's not saying totally douchy things.

Trump on the other hand, there is no "turn off the asshold" switch.
 
2013-01-09 04:34:46 PM  
Maher is funny, and was being funny.  As a comedian, that's expected and welcome.  Trump is the opposite of a comedian.  Trump is blowing this way out of proportion in a sad, misguided attempt at being amusing and relevant.
 
2013-01-09 04:35:47 PM  

Richard Flaccid: Pay up Maher. A bet is a bet, and it's for charity.

Both are douche bags though.


Maher won the Biggest Douche Bag Award years ago with this:

"We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly."

From that point forward, so far as I'm concerned, Bill Maher could die in fire and I would dance.

Not that Donald Trump isn't an incredible douche bag of course, just a shrewder one.

Pay up, Bill or STFU and GTFO.
 
2013-01-09 04:36:43 PM  
All Bill Maher has to do is deny that it is real.
 
2013-01-09 04:37:29 PM  

durbnpoisn: Why all the hatin on Bill Mahr?

I know he has said a handfull of douchy things, but I think he's pretty funny. I guess when he's not saying totally douchy things.


Maher frequently takes on sacred cows in our society, and he is not shy about doing it.  This makes some people, even some liberals, uncomfortable, because they don't want to be associated with someone who attacks touchy subjects so brazenly and without delicacy (especially religion).

I find him funny, knowledgeable, and really bright.  But that's just me.
 
2013-01-09 04:39:04 PM  
Hope you farkers hearken back to the rapper and the 1 million dollar offer foe his laptop and espouse the same views in that thread.
 
2013-01-09 04:40:15 PM  

hdhale: Richard Flaccid: Pay up Maher. A bet is a bet, and it's for charity.

Both are douche bags though.

Maher won the Biggest Douche Bag Award years ago with this:

"We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly."

From that point forward, so far as I'm concerned, Bill Maher could die in fire and I would dance.

Not that Donald Trump isn't an incredible douche bag of course, just a shrewder one.

Pay up, Bill or STFU and GTFO.


I couldn't decide whom to side with between these two morons.  Thanks for making the decision easier.
 
2013-01-09 04:41:18 PM  
Donald Trump is simply mentally ill.
 
2013-01-09 04:43:11 PM  

Richard Flaccid: Pay up Maher. A bet is a bet, and it's for charity.

Both are douche bags though.


YES AND YES.

Reminds me more than a bit of the Limbaugh/Reid kerfuffle.
 
2013-01-09 04:43:46 PM  

hdhale: Maher won the Biggest Douche Bag Award years ago with this:

"We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly."

From that point forward, so far as I'm concerned, Bill Maher could die in fire and I would dance.


This drives me crazy, and I apologize for picking on you for it, but you raised the point..

While I disagree with the part of his statement that referenced the U.S. military (they are not cowardly), his comment about the terrorists was dead on if you stop and think about it for a second.  Although I have no problem calling them evil, despicable and misguided, they weren't cowards based on what they actually believed.  Yes, I believe that their beliefs are 100% WRONG, but if a guy believes his god wants him to kill innocent infidels and will reward him for accepting his holy mission of jihad, well then piloting a plane into a building at the cost of one's own life isn't "cowardly".

Let me be crystal clear here: in NO WAY am I praising, accepting or otherwise even CLOSE to justifying terrorism or the 9/11 terrorists.  They are terrorists, which means they are the worst the world has to offer and they should all die.  That being said, being cowardly just isn't a factually-accurate descriptor.  It just isn't.  And Bill wasn't wrong about that.
 
2013-01-09 04:45:12 PM  

FunkOut: Donald Trump is simply mentally ill.


My take is that he's not as intelligent as he'd have you believe, and he's also such a narcisist that he needs to constantly pump himself up in the media and tout his so-called accomplishments.
 
2013-01-09 04:48:17 PM  
The more Maher talks, the more one is sure that one is listening to a zero-humor, irrelevant, and epically stupid, person.

That's if you can get past the rampant narcissism and constant massaging of his own ego.

Get past ALL that and he is...well, DIAF, William.
 
2013-01-09 04:48:47 PM  
Both are douches. I find Trump less of a douche than Maher. Plus, Trump gave the world Ivanka - what has Maher ever done ?
 
2013-01-09 04:49:21 PM  

give me doughnuts: 1) Short form
2) Dot-matrix print
3) Bar code
4) Doesn't prove Fred Trump wasn't an orangutan

Clearly this document is fake, and now Ivanka Trump had to release nude pics of herself.


Newsletter, subscription, etc.
 
2013-01-09 04:50:51 PM  

AeAe: give me doughnuts: 1) Short form
2) Dot-matrix print
3) Bar code
4) Doesn't prove Fred Trump wasn't an orangutan

Clearly this document is fake, and now Ivanka Trump had to release nude pics of herself.

will need to see original form. This looks fraudulent.


Only after we see her form.
 
2013-01-09 04:52:16 PM  

DS1970: The more Maher talks, the more one is sure that one is listening to a zero-humor, irrelevant, and epically stupid, person.

That's if you can get past the rampant narcissism and constant massaging of his own ego.


You described Trump, not Maher.  Seriously, watch a couple episodes of Real Time and then say this with a straight face.

I'm not saying you need to find his humor funny, but he's not stupid (clearly).
 
2013-01-09 04:52:21 PM  

Trivia Jockey: durbnpoisn: Why all the hatin on Bill Mahr?

I know he has said a handfull of douchy things, but I think he's pretty funny. I guess when he's not saying totally douchy things.

Maher frequently takes on sacred cows in our society, and he is not shy about doing it.  This makes some people, even some liberals, uncomfortable, because they don't want to be associated with someone who attacks touchy subjects so brazenly and without delicacy (especially religion).

I find him funny, knowledgeable, and really bright.  But that's just me.


You know, I try to give comedians a break, I love Leary's stand up and hate his politics and watch Miller regardless of which side of the political spectrum he is taking swings at. Maher... he is Michael Moore in a jester hat. He hides a very superficial understanding behind bloviating and scripted verbosity and while he takes shots at sacred cows it is purely conservative targets he puts in his cross hairs unlike.... for example... Penn & Teller. The comments he made about Sarah Palin's kids, conservative women in general, and his sycophantic love affair with the president put him way outside of my rather generous boundaries. The man doesn't say douchey things, he a douchebag.
 
2013-01-09 04:53:10 PM  

elvindeath: Both are douches


I guess I'll just never understand this (false) equivalency.    Oh well.
 
2013-01-09 04:53:32 PM  
F the haters. I love Donald Trump.
 
2013-01-09 04:54:28 PM  

SR_NightBane: You know, I try to give comedians a break, I love Leary's stand up and hate his politics and watch Miller regardless of which side of the political spectrum he is taking swings at. Maher... he is Michael Moore in a jester hat. He hides a very superficial understanding behind bloviating and scripted verbosity and while he takes shots at sacred cows it is purely conservative targets he puts in his cross hairs unlike.... for example... Penn & Teller. The comments he made about Sarah Palin's kids, conservative women in general, and his sycophantic love affair with the president put him way outside of my rather generous boundaries. The man doesn't say douchey things, he a douchebag.


I disagree, but at least you gave specific reasons so I respect that.

(I don't think he only targets conservatives, though, he's gone after liberals pretty hard when warranted.)
 
2013-01-09 04:54:31 PM  

Sock Ruh Tease: Trump really needs this money or he's going to go bankrupt again.


Came here to say this. Leaving satisfied, knowing it'll all comb over eventually.
 
2013-01-09 04:56:11 PM  

MikeBoomshadow: Leaving satisfied, knowing it'll all comb over eventually.


www-deadline-com.vimg.net
 
2013-01-09 04:56:47 PM  

durbnpoisn: Trump on the other hand, there is no "turn off the asshold" switch.


I guess this is why he always looks like he's struggling to take a shiat in all those pics on the link.
 
2013-01-09 04:56:49 PM  

elvindeath: Both are douches. I find Trump less of a douche than Maher. Plus, Trump gave the world Ivanka - what has Maher ever done ?


Ivanka?

/ nah, he's probably not her type
 
2013-01-09 04:57:29 PM  
Maher made this joke on the Jay Leno show.

So the real news here is that somebody still watches Jay Leno
 
2013-01-09 05:07:56 PM  

Trivia Jockey: hdhale: Maher won the Biggest Douche Bag Award years ago with this:

"We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly."

From that point forward, so far as I'm concerned, Bill Maher could die in fire and I would dance.

This drives me crazy, and I apologize for picking on you for it, but you raised the point..

While I disagree with the part of his statement that referenced the U.S. military (they are not cowardly), his comment about the terrorists was dead on if you stop and think about it for a second.  Although I have no problem calling them evil, despicable and misguided, they weren't cowards based on what they actually believed.  Yes, I believe that their beliefs are 100% WRONG, but if a guy believes his god wants him to kill innocent infidels and will reward him for accepting his holy mission of jihad, well then piloting a plane into a building at the cost of one's own life isn't "cowardly".

Let me be crystal clear here: in NO WAY am I praising, accepting or otherwise even CLOSE to justifying terrorism or the 9/11 terrorists.  They are terrorists, which means they are the worst the world has to offer and they should all die.  That being said, being cowardly just isn't a factually-accurate descriptor.  It just isn't.  And Bill wasn't wrong about that.


Well it depends on the frame of reference.

Ultimately, their end goal is to spread the word of Allah to all of us heathens, and they decided on a course of action ( 9/11) that provided the least amount of resistance. Rather than, say, open combat with US soldiers, or even unarmed protest against us. With that in mind, it's clear to see that going up against armed combatants is infinitely braver than targeting unsuspecting civilians. And, conversely, murdering unarmed and unsuspecting men women and children is infinitely more cowardly.

That said, I understand your point, that on a personal level it takes something ( which I hesitate to call bravery, but yea) to pull off the actual act. It's just that like with most things, it's relative, and there's really no need to give them the benefit of the doubt here..
 
2013-01-09 05:16:26 PM  

FritzyvonFritz: That said, I understand your point, that on a personal level it takes something ( which I hesitate to call bravery, but yea) to pull off the actual act. It's just that like with most things, it's relative, and there's really no need to give them the benefit of the doubt here..


OK, I see your point.

I would say that "cowardly" is sitting in the relative safety of one's home country and celebrating the loss of innocent life, but we'd just be arguing semantics at that point.

I merely think that people jumped all over Maher for the comment without even giving it any actual thought, because "OMG you can't say something about the terrorists that isn't negative!"  They assumed that by denying the terrorists were "cowards" Bill was in some way praising them, which he clearly wasn't.
 
2013-01-09 05:18:33 PM  

DeltaPunch: Only Donald Trump would actually produce his birth certificate when someone accuses his mother of having sex with a monkey.

"Nu-uh... look, you're wrong! It says right here, my dad is human! Ha ha... you LOSE! Now pay up!"


This. He's got both the biggest and most fragile ego on the planet.
 
2013-01-09 05:22:35 PM  
Jokes
www.sandraoffthestrip.com
What are they??

/I guess 'takes one to know one' is not true here
 
2013-01-09 05:22:52 PM  

Trivia Jockey: I find him funny, knowledgeable, and really bright. But that's just me.


Kinda like when he tore Brian Griffith a new ass.
 
2013-01-09 05:23:25 PM  
Yeah. That's a farking JPEG file.

My JPEG experts show it's a clear fake. They can lift the text off of the layers quite easily. And I don't think that font existed way back then.

Where's the original Donald, you asshole?
 
2013-01-09 05:25:52 PM  
I bet the birth certificate is just for his hairpiece. He was the afterbirth.
 
2013-01-09 05:27:16 PM  

give me doughnuts: 4) Doesn't prove Fred Trump wasn't an orangutan


The "birth certificate" does not, per se, but if his father was an orangutan, the Donald would have been sterile and unable to father children.
cdn01.cdn.justjared.com
 
2013-01-09 05:28:16 PM  

Trivia Jockey: FritzyvonFritz: That said, I understand your point, that on a personal level it takes something ( which I hesitate to call bravery, but yea) to pull off the actual act. It's just that like with most things, it's relative, and there's really no need to give them the benefit of the doubt here..

OK, I see your point.

I would say that "cowardly" is sitting in the relative safety of one's home country and celebrating the loss of innocent life, but we'd just be arguing semantics at that point.

I merely think that people jumped all over Maher for the comment without even giving it any actual thought, because "OMG you can't say something about the terrorists that isn't negative!"  They assumed that by denying the terrorists were "cowards" Bill was in some way praising them, which he clearly wasn't.


agreed, however Maher brings it upon himself in my opinion, and probably not entirely unintentionally. I have to believe there is a more articulate way of critiquing the US army's use of cruise missles than holding up one of the most horrible acts of terror in US history as a shining example of how to conduct a war.
 
2013-01-09 05:29:14 PM  

Trivia Jockey: hdhale: Maher won the Biggest Douche Bag Award years ago with this:

"We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly."

From that point forward, so far as I'm concerned, Bill Maher could die in fire and I would dance.

This drives me crazy, and I apologize for picking on you for it, but you raised the point..

While I disagree with the part of his statement that referenced the U.S. military (they are not cowardly), his comment about the terrorists was dead on if you stop and think about it for a second.  Although I have no problem calling them evil, despicable and misguided, they weren't cowards based on what they actually believed.  Yes, I believe that their beliefs are 100% WRONG, but if a guy believes his god wants him to kill innocent infidels and will reward him for accepting his holy mission of jihad, well then piloting a plane into a building at the cost of one's own life isn't "cowardly".

Let me be crystal clear here: in NO WAY am I praising, accepting or otherwise even CLOSE to justifying terrorism or the 9/11 terrorists.  They are terrorists, which means they are the worst the world has to offer and they should all die.  That being said, being cowardly just isn't a factually-accurate descriptor.  It just isn't.  And Bill wasn't wrong about that.


Seconded on this point.

My biggest problem with that "joke" is that I think he stole it from Bill Hicks.
 
2013-01-09 05:30:25 PM  

Cyberluddite: The name of that chimp?  Why, of course, it was J. Fred Muggs, the same first name as Trump's father.  Coincidence, or something more?  I'm just asking questions.


This reminds me of my favorite WND bookstore author. This a direct quote. I am not making this up:

In 1960, a fellow named "Johnny" was making his reputation in Seattle's club scene as a left-handed guitarist with a local band known as the Rocking Kings. Two days older than Ann, this tall, thin young black man was not at all abashed about dating white women [...]

Of course, as you may have guessed, Johnny decided to use the stage name "Jimi" and changed the spelling of his last name from "Hendricks" to "Hendrix." In a further Paul-is-dead kind of twist, Obama cites as his personal marker for 1967 the fact that "Jimi Hendrix performed at Monterey" [...]

And, of course, Obama, like Hendrix, is left-handed.
 ....

So you see, because Taxbongo's mom was at one point in a city where a black guy was known to date white women, the issue of FartNambla's real father has been put to rest.
 
2013-01-09 05:31:25 PM  

Krymson Tyde: What about Colbert's offer, Trump? Huh?


THIS.
 
2013-01-09 05:32:13 PM  
Just keep demanding the long form or the extra long form or the extra special form. Eventually, it'll be something that doesn't exist and when the Donald says, there's no such thing, claim that he's hiding information about his origins.
 
2013-01-09 05:43:36 PM  
Tag should be plural.
 
2013-01-09 05:49:52 PM  

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: I don't think the orangutan sex was consensual. I'm just saying.


Well if it was a "legitimate rape", Mama Trump's body would have shut that down.
 
2013-01-09 05:51:02 PM  

Trivia Jockey: While I disagree with the part of his statement that referenced the U.S. military (they are not cowardly), his comment about the terrorists was dead on if you stop and think about it for a second.  Although I have no problem calling them evil, despicable and misguided, they weren't cowards based on what they actually believed.  Yes, I believe that their beliefs are 100% WRONG, but if a guy believes his god wants him to kill innocent infidels and will reward him for accepting his holy mission of jihad, well then piloting a plane into a building at the cost of one's own life isn't "cowardly".

Let me be crystal clear here: in NO WAY am I praising, accepting or otherwise even CLOSE to justifying terrorism or the 9/11 terrorists.  They are terrorists, which means they are the worst the world has to offer and they should all die.  That being said, being cowardly just isn't a factually-accurate descriptor.  It just isn't.  And Bill wasn't wrong about that.


And the number of qualifiers you had to put into those paragraphs are exactly why he stepped into a hornet's nest.

But, while we're on that topic, he's certainly correct that there's nothing particularly brave about push-button warfare.  I will absolutely agree that troops who are facing mortal peril deserve to be called brave, but bombing people with cruise missiles or attacking them with drones isn't in any meaningful sense of the word.

It may be effective, it may be tactically smart, and it may have any amount of practical value, but it just isn't brave. You may as well claim bravery for playing Halo.

Bill's real sin on that one was a failure to recognize just how hurt and, frankly, irrational everyone was feeling in the immediate aftermath of a traumatic event. On the other hand, wasn't the very name of the show Politically Incorrect?
 
2013-01-09 05:53:24 PM  

m3000: We need the long form certificate.


That one will be fake, too. Pixels and all that...
 
2013-01-09 05:55:07 PM  
Actually it IS fake! Says "VOID" all over it.
 
2013-01-09 05:59:24 PM  
The Donald : effectively grubbing around for nickels. "Hey Maher, don't fark around, I need that $5M!"
 
2013-01-09 06:05:28 PM  
They both pull down a lot of trim but Maher has to pay upfront.
 
2013-01-09 06:11:24 PM  

SphericalTime: Lionel Mandrake: That's not a birth certificate.  It's a certification of birth.

What are you hiding, "Donald?"

It's also the short form version.


Someone get Oily Taint on the case!
 
2013-01-09 06:21:38 PM  

Broktun: give me doughnuts: 4) Doesn't prove Fred Trump wasn't an orangutan

The "birth certificate" does not, per se, but if his father was an orangutan, the Donald would have been sterile and unable to father children.
[cdn01.cdn.justjared.com image 770x1222]


Not to mention that even if he were half orangutan, that would make his children a quarter orangutan. Didn't know so many Farkers were into gingers.
 
2013-01-09 06:43:34 PM  

Broktun: give me doughnuts: 4) Doesn't prove Fred Trump wasn't an orangutan

The "birth certificate" does not, per se, but if his father was an orangutan, the Donald would have been sterile and unable to father children.


How do we know they're his biological children? He could have adopted them after their mother was raped and murdered in 1990, by an unidentified, heavy-set intruder.
 
2013-01-09 07:16:30 PM  

Trivia Jockey: FunkOut: Donald Trump is simply mentally ill.

My take is that he's not as intelligent as he'd have you believe, and he's also such a narcisist that he needs to constantly pump himself up in the media and tout his so-called accomplishments.


Or maybe it's Aspergers.
 
2013-01-09 07:26:39 PM  

Ahhh_Ennui: How do we know his father wasn't a circus orangutan named Fred C. Trump? It is a perfectly reasonable question to ask. I see no note of his species on this. I cry fake. FAKE. Also, something pixels something.


Even without the circus orangutan it proves nothing as nobody verifies that the father named really is the father.
 
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