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(NYPost)   President Obama makes Nixon look like a softie when it comes to presidential pardons   (nypost.com) divider line 49
    More: Interesting, Jacob Sullum, President Obama, obama, clemency, human beings, William Henry Harrison, Illinois State, mandatory minimums  
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1569 clicks; posted to Politics » on 09 Jan 2013 at 1:48 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-09 12:34:59 PM
What does that headline even mean?
 
2013-01-09 12:39:27 PM

cretinbob: What does that headline even mean?


Either Subby is furious that Nixon pardoned Jimmy Hoffa, or I'm going to be angrily defending Gerald Ford in this thread...
 
2013-01-09 12:44:56 PM

cretinbob: What does that headline even mean?


It's a code. Each letter in the headline corresponds to a number, which when put together pinpoint a series of points of longitude and latitude around the globe. These points, when combined in order from highest to lowest, create an algorithm that, when run, generates a unique linguistic key consisting of 5 letter: I, A, A, F, D.

I'm afraid that's as far as I was able to get in the translation, though, as there are apparently several other encoded headlines that are required to determine exactly what each of those letters represents. Look for other headlines today that seem wise beyond their literal meaning and the answer may be there.
 
2013-01-09 12:45:18 PM
Must be a slow whine day
 
2013-01-09 12:46:09 PM
Gerald Ford was a pederast.
 
2013-01-09 12:46:17 PM
It's Wednesday, what can we rag on Obama for today?

Hmmm...he's too tough on crime?  I propose a headline "Obama is a Big Meanie"
 
2013-01-09 12:53:21 PM
James!, that's just dumb. You can't rile me up with something ridiculous like that!

Now, if you had claimed that the wolves did not find him delicious, then I'd be angry.
 
2013-01-09 12:55:01 PM

what_now: James!, that's just dumb. You can't rile me up with something ridiculous like that!

Now, if you had claimed that the wolves did not find him delicious, then I'd be angry.


You know why those wolves ate him? He was interfering with their puppies.  Sexually.
 
2013-01-09 01:00:11 PM

James!: what_now: James!, that's just dumb. You can't rile me up with something ridiculous like that!

Now, if you had claimed that the wolves did not find him delicious, then I'd be angry.

You know why those wolves ate him? He was interfering with their puppies.  Sexually.


He was a very handsome man in his youth. Perhaps the puppies consented?
 
2013-01-09 01:03:19 PM

what_now: James!: what_now: James!, that's just dumb. You can't rile me up with something ridiculous like that!

Now, if you had claimed that the wolves did not find him delicious, then I'd be angry.

You know why those wolves ate him? He was interfering with their puppies.  Sexually.

He was a very handsome man in his youth. Perhaps the puppies consented?


Everyone knows dogs under the age of two and a half cannot consent.  Unless you're one of those NAMPLA member.  Disgusting.
 
2013-01-09 01:08:21 PM

James!: what_now: James!: what_now: James!, that's just dumb. You can't rile me up with something ridiculous like that!

Now, if you had claimed that the wolves did not find him delicious, then I'd be angry.

You know why those wolves ate him? He was interfering with their puppies.  Sexually.

He was a very handsome man in his youth. Perhaps the puppies consented?

Everyone knows dogs under the age of two and a half cannot consent.  Unless you're one of those NAMPLA member.  Disgusting.


Don't try to define love for other people, James(!).
 
2013-01-09 01:09:50 PM

what_now: James!: what_now: James!: what_now: James!, that's just dumb. You can't rile me up with something ridiculous like that!

Now, if you had claimed that the wolves did not find him delicious, then I'd be angry.

You know why those wolves ate him? He was interfering with their puppies.  Sexually.

He was a very handsome man in his youth. Perhaps the puppies consented?

Everyone knows dogs under the age of two and a half cannot consent.  Unless you're one of those NAMPLA member.  Disgusting.

Don't try to define love for other people, James(!).


I'm changing your farky from "Sells uniforms to the KKK" to "LOVES" puppies.
 
2013-01-09 01:09:51 PM
The headline after Obama pardons someone will be HOW DARE OBAMA PARDON *insert name here* THAT NO GOOD SOCIALIST KENYUM MUSLIN IS A BLEEDING HEART LIBRUL WHO WILL EMPTY OUR JAILS!
 
2013-01-09 01:11:03 PM

FirstNationalBastard: The headline after Obama pardons someone will be HOW DARE OBAMA PARDON *insert name here* THAT NO GOOD SOCIALIST KENYUM MUSLIN IS A BLEEDING HEART LIBRUL WHO WILL EMPTY OUR JAILS!


His last day in office he will pardon Mumia and every single rapper in the country.
 
2013-01-09 01:11:37 PM

James!: I'm changing your farky from "Sells uniforms to the KKK"


.....back up a second here...
 
2013-01-09 01:13:20 PM

James!: FirstNationalBastard: The headline after Obama pardons someone will be HOW DARE OBAMA PARDON *insert name here* THAT NO GOOD SOCIALIST KENYUM MUSLIN IS A BLEEDING HEART LIBRUL WHO WILL EMPTY OUR JAILS!

His last day in office he will pardon Mumia and every single rapper in the country.


I hear he's already got the pardon for Bradley Manning written up and dated January 19, 2017.
 
2013-01-09 01:13:24 PM

what_now: James!: I'm changing your farky from "Sells uniforms to the KKK"

.....back up a second here...


Hey man, your words.
 
2013-01-09 01:14:53 PM

FirstNationalBastard: James!: FirstNationalBastard: The headline after Obama pardons someone will be HOW DARE OBAMA PARDON *insert name here* THAT NO GOOD SOCIALIST KENYUM MUSLIN IS A BLEEDING HEART LIBRUL WHO WILL EMPTY OUR JAILS!

His last day in office he will pardon Mumia and every single rapper in the country.

I hear he's already got the pardon for Bradley Manning written up and dated January 19, 2017.


He'll posthumously pardon Malcolm X.  It doesn't even matter if Malcolm X had any charges, he'll farking do it.
 
2013-01-09 01:15:54 PM

James!: what_now: James!: I'm changing your farky from "Sells uniforms to the KKK"

.....back up a second here...

Hey man, your words.


I do not think I have ever sold sheets to anyone. Now I'm confused...
 
2013-01-09 01:16:24 PM

James!: what_now: James!: what_now: James!, that's just dumb. You can't rile me up with something ridiculous like that!

Now, if you had claimed that the wolves did not find him delicious, then I'd be angry.

You know why those wolves ate him? He was interfering with their puppies.  Sexually.

He was a very handsome man in his youth. Perhaps the puppies consented?

Everyone knows dogs under the age of two and a half cannot consent.  Unless you're one of those NAMPLA member.  Disgusting.


♫  And they called it, puppy love... ♫
 
2013-01-09 01:19:11 PM

what_now: James!: what_now: James!: I'm changing your farky from "Sells uniforms to the KKK"

.....back up a second here...

Hey man, your words.

I do not think I have ever sold sheets to anyone. Now I'm confused...


Probably a fark thread from long ago.  A year from now I'll reference that you're a pupophile and you'll swear you've never given an inappropriate belly rub.
 
2013-01-09 01:24:24 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: James!: what_now: James!: what_now: James!, that's just dumb. You can't rile me up with something ridiculous like that!

Now, if you had claimed that the wolves did not find him delicious, then I'd be angry.

You know why those wolves ate him? He was interfering with their puppies.  Sexually.

He was a very handsome man in his youth. Perhaps the puppies consented?

Everyone knows dogs under the age of two and a half cannot consent.  Unless you're one of those NAMPLA member.  Disgusting.

♫  And they called it, puppy love... ♫


A song once performed by Donny Osmand who is a Mormon.  You know who else is a Mormon and almost President of the USA?

/6 degrees of Mitt Romney
 
2013-01-09 01:28:27 PM

what_now: Either Subby is furious that Nixon pardoned Jimmy Hoffa, or I'm going to be angrily defending Gerald Ford in this thread...


24.media.tumblr.com

Ms. Rand, I am going to issue you a pardon for the crime of being too dang hot.
 
2013-01-09 01:37:32 PM
Damn bleedin' heart libruls.

/wow, Tricky Dick was a really nice guy...when it came to pardons/commutations
 
2013-01-09 01:40:42 PM
I thought he pardoned all his terrorist buddies.
 
2013-01-09 01:45:16 PM
i heard he's refused to pardon the thanksgiving turkey each of the last four years because his aides have been unable to convince him that the turkeys had satisfactorily repented and accepted allah into their hearts.
 
2013-01-09 01:51:07 PM

thomps: i heard he's refused to pardon the thanksgiving turkey each of the last four years because his aides have been unable to convince him that the turkeys had satisfactorily repented and accepted allah into their hearts.


I heard he went into a restaurant and ate everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant
 
2013-01-09 01:56:08 PM
I'm just not in the same groove as Fark Politics today, I guess. None of these are grabbing me.
 
2013-01-09 01:57:46 PM

Soup4Bonnie: I'm just not in the same groove as Fark Politics today, I guess. None of these are grabbing me.


if you can't grab on to a puppy-f*cking president, it might be time for a vacation
 
2013-01-09 01:59:43 PM
So today the rightists are mad that he's a hard-nosed, tough-on-crime type. Damn that far-left liberal Bareefer Obonghit.
 
2013-01-09 02:01:49 PM
Always blaming us.

Were you raised by humans?
 
2013-01-09 02:02:49 PM

James!: FirstNationalBastard: The headline after Obama pardons someone will be HOW DARE OBAMA PARDON *insert name here* THAT NO GOOD SOCIALIST KENYUM MUSLIN IS A BLEEDING HEART LIBRUL WHO WILL EMPTY OUR JAILS!

His last day in office he will pardon Mumia and every single rapper in the country.


Time to get my rapper/ bank robber career going!
 
2013-01-09 02:03:15 PM

James!: FirstNationalBastard: James!: FirstNationalBastard: The headline after Obama pardons someone will be HOW DARE OBAMA PARDON *insert name here* THAT NO GOOD SOCIALIST KENYUM MUSLIN IS A BLEEDING HEART LIBRUL WHO WILL EMPTY OUR JAILS!

His last day in office he will pardon Mumia and every single rapper in the country.

I hear he's already got the pardon for Bradley Manning written up and dated January 19, 2017.

He'll posthumously pardon Malcolm X.  It doesn't even matter if Malcolm X had any charges, he'll farking do it.


Of course he'll pardon Malcolm X. What kind of son would he be if he didn't?
 
2013-01-09 02:06:51 PM
If fewer pardons and commutations are needed, that means our  justice system is approaching perfection. Right?
 
2013-01-09 02:08:17 PM
Thanks to a political culture that makes a scandal of any case of a bad guy exploiting any kind of early release (Willie Horton), Obama calculates that he can't afford to risk political capital on individuals and jeopardize his larger goals.
 
2013-01-09 02:08:19 PM
This just proves that FARTBAMA is a socialist!!!
 
MFK
2013-01-09 02:09:14 PM
these assholes are just going to hate Obama for anything he does. If he was issuing pardons, every farking one of them would be OMG SCANDAL!!!!11!

Here's a protip: Hey GOP, how about maybe picking your battles every now and again so when you actually have a legitimate beef, people won't tune you out and tell you to stfu.
 
2013-01-09 02:11:34 PM
Wanting to be pardoned
Link
 
2013-01-09 02:20:24 PM

2wolves: Always blaming us.

Were you raised by humans?


I love you so much.
 
2013-01-09 02:44:58 PM
So, someone was going to complain about how many people Obama has pardoned, then made the mistake of actually researching before he did so?
 
2013-01-09 03:02:39 PM

Pinner: Wanting to be pardoned
Link


Gee thanks... that's a meme I really didn't need to know about.
 
2013-01-09 03:04:13 PM

James!: what_now: James!: what_now: James!: what_now: James!, that's just dumb. You can't rile me up with something ridiculous like that!

Now, if you had claimed that the wolves did not find him delicious, then I'd be angry.

You know why those wolves ate him? He was interfering with their puppies.  Sexually.

He was a very handsome man in his youth. Perhaps the puppies consented?

Everyone knows dogs under the age of two and a half cannot consent.  Unless you're one of those NAMPLA member.  Disgusting.

Don't try to define love for other people, James(!).

I'm changing your farky from "Sells uniforms to the KKK" to "LOVES" puppies.


That repartee got funnier with each post.

+1 internets to all of you!
 
2013-01-09 03:30:05 PM

Karac: James!: FirstNationalBastard: James!: FirstNationalBastard: The headline after Obama pardons someone will be HOW DARE OBAMA PARDON *insert name here* THAT NO GOOD SOCIALIST KENYUM MUSLIN IS A BLEEDING HEART LIBRUL WHO WILL EMPTY OUR JAILS!

His last day in office he will pardon Mumia and every single rapper in the country.

I hear he's already got the pardon for Bradley Manning written up and dated January 19, 2017.

He'll posthumously pardon Malcolm X.  It doesn't even matter if Malcolm X had any charges, he'll farking do it.

Of course he'll pardon Malcolm X. What kind of son would he be if he didn't?


My mind : BLOWN
 
2013-01-09 03:44:42 PM
He's going to pardon himself in advance for DESTROYING AMERICA IN HIS SECOND TERM.

//amidoingitright?
 
2013-01-09 07:52:07 PM

what_now: 2wolves: Always blaming us.

Were you raised by humans?

I love you so much.


I do believe I'm blushing.
 
2013-01-10 01:07:03 AM
Arent presidential/gubernatorial pardons practically emblematic of corruption and croneyism?
 
2013-01-10 03:03:22 AM
Actually, the black in him cancels out the white in him so considering he's kind of "tan" instead, he's actually the most lenient AND the most stingy halfrican American in presidential history. The president that can be hated by all for one reason or another.
 
2013-01-10 05:29:25 AM
The comments are quite the treat. Weeners to the Weeners jumps straight to race-baiting.
 
2013-01-10 04:55:14 PM
NYPost sounds angry they can't complain about Obama being "soft on crime." Christ, they're still bleating on about Clinton's pardons.
 
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