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(Huffington Post)   In other news, the TSA is still a dick   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 80
    More: Obvious, TSA, consumer advocacy, human dignity, TSA agents, public humiliation, Medical glove, major airline  
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13627 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jan 2013 at 4:07 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-09 11:20:13 AM
Or will grab your dick!! Depends on the day, I guess.
 
2013-01-09 11:52:50 AM
This moron's articles for the last few months (if not longer, didn't bother to check), have nearly all been TSA related.

Author is a moron and a scumbag. I don't see him writing about the soldiers still fighting this war, or about the 9/11 rescue workers still waiting for medical care. These things are all fine, but the TSA: they're outrageous!

We get it, you have a small dick. Now step through the damn scanner.
 
2013-01-09 12:51:58 PM

Nofun: Now step through the damn scanner.


No. I had cancer once, I'd rather not have it again "..but they haven't tested.." exactly. They haven't tested it.

However, I fly a lot, and I always opt out. I think this guy is full of shiat. ONE TIME, I had to wait more than a few minutes, and I made some noise about not being able to see my belongings and someone came over immediately.

I have never been "herded into a little room", I have never had a TSA agent verbally harass me. I once had someone threaten to make me wait a long time, and I replied that if I was retaliated against for opting out I would most certainly be speaking to her supervisor. I said this loudly enough that a whole crowd of people heard me.

Understand that the TSA works for you, understand that you have done nothing wrong. You need treat these people with politeness and if necessary firmness, like you would a recalcitrant child, and you will have no problems.
 
2013-01-09 02:18:09 PM

what_now: Nofun: Now step through the damn scanner.

No. I had cancer once, I'd rather not have it again "..but they haven't tested.." exactly. They haven't tested it.

However, I fly a lot, and I always opt out. I think this guy is full of shiat. ONE TIME, I had to wait more than a few minutes, and I made some noise about not being able to see my belongings and someone came over immediately.

I have never been "herded into a little room", I have never had a TSA agent verbally harass me. I once had someone threaten to make me wait a long time, and I replied that if I was retaliated against for opting out I would most certainly be speaking to her supervisor. I said this loudly enough that a whole crowd of people heard me.

Understand that the TSA works for you, understand that you have done nothing wrong. You need treat these people with politeness and if necessary firmness, like you would a recalcitrant child, and you will have no problems.


Or just go through it sporting a massive erection.

Your move TSA
 
2013-01-09 02:27:36 PM

scottydoesntknow: Or just go through it sporting a massive erection.


I can't.
 
2013-01-09 02:35:42 PM

what_now: scottydoesntknow: Or just go through it sporting a massive erection.

I can't.


You can always do what this guy did:

s13.postimage.org

...should be worth some laughs.
 
2013-01-09 02:37:01 PM

what_now: scottydoesntknow: Or just go through it sporting a massive erection.

I can't.


hackmytrip.com
 
2013-01-09 02:45:48 PM
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-09 04:13:10 PM

Nofun: This moron's articles for the last few months (if not longer, didn't bother to check), have nearly all been TSA related.

Author is a moron and a scumbag. I don't see him writing about the soldiers still fighting this war, or about the 9/11 rescue workers still waiting for medical care. These things are all fine, but the TSA: they're outrageous!

We get it, you have a small dick. Now step through the damn scanner.


Gun thread is further down the page
 
2013-01-09 04:13:49 PM

what_now: understand that you have done nothing wrong.


Then why, by SOP, are you treated like a criminal? You're guilty until deemed innocent by some arbitrary TSA rules.
 
2013-01-09 04:14:10 PM
I've opted out twice. That's also the number of times I've flow since the scanners have been in use. Both times, the women giving me the pat down were professional and nice. The second time, though, the guy managing the line gave me a lot of crap for opting out. He said, "They don't use X-rays, so you don't need to opt out." while using a tone like I was a moron. I said that I didn't care and still wanted the pat down and he griped at me, saying, "You can opt out if you want, but you don't need to because the machines don't use x-rays." Look, I'm getting the pat down because I'm more comfortable with a woman touching me a little bit than I am with creepy TSA dudes looking at my generic naked outline while they're being dicks. For me, it's not about how much cancer I am or am not getting.
 
2013-01-09 04:14:46 PM
He became a writer now??

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-01-09 04:15:35 PM

UberDave: what_now: scottydoesntknow: Or just go through it sporting a massive erection.

I can't.

You can always do what this guy did:

[s13.postimage.org image 433x300]

...should be worth some laughs.


What do you suggest that women do? They made me take off my strap-on.
 
2013-01-09 04:18:18 PM

Helena Handbasket: UberDave: what_now: scottydoesntknow: Or just go through it sporting a massive erection.

I can't.

You can always do what this guy did:

[s13.postimage.org image 433x300]

...should be worth some laughs.

What do you suggest that women do? They made me take off my strap-on.


You have to think outside the box!!
 
2013-01-09 04:18:39 PM

Nofun: This moron's articles for the last few months (if not longer, didn't bother to check), have nearly all been TSA related.

Author is a moron and a scumbag. I don't see him writing about the soldiers still fighting this war, or about the 9/11 rescue workers still waiting for medical care. These things are all fine, but the TSA: they're outrageous!

We get it, you have a small dick. Now step through the damn scanner.


Geesh, you're no fun.

Oh yeah...
 
2013-01-09 04:19:38 PM
a) fark the TSA.
b) If the NRA had any credibility about their "fear the gummint" line they would be going after the TSA with both barrels, so to speak, and they would have started yesterday.
 
2013-01-09 04:21:32 PM
I opt out as I don't trust the proper technicians are on hand to guarantee the machine isn't malfunctioning giving improper doses of radiation, and think this article is a joke. They ask if you want a private room, and if you feel embarrassed standing off to the side for a minute or 2 you have mental issues to deal with. I think of it as the cancer free club. Also, there are 2 types of those machines, Millimeter and sub millimeter (or something like that) and one is more risky than the other. I forget which.
 
2013-01-09 04:22:28 PM
Until recently, I would have agreed with TFA, but the scanners are SO fast and easy most people don't want to opt out. In my last trip through Logan, the agents by the old metal detector looked bored as everybody went to the line with the scanner. They were practically begging for opt outs so they'd have something to do.

I've flown 3 times in the past few weeks (4th time tonight) and every time has been a fast, pleasant experience.
 
2013-01-09 04:25:40 PM
I flew through Orlando recently. I saw someone opt-out, and he was really being a dick about opting-out. he annonced it for everybody to hear. He was rude. It took about 60 seconds to pat him down and send him on his way.

I am no fan of the TSA, but my experience in Orlando was nothing like was described in this article.

Actuallty, I hate the TSA... but if you're going to make a point about the TSA, don't make it a straw man.
 
2013-01-09 04:27:20 PM
I always take the pat down. Not because I care about anybody seeing my junk, but because I don't like being lit up with an unregulated x-ray device.

While theTSA as a whole is pretty useless and there's plenty of bad press, I have to say the guys who've done my pat downs have been pretty friendly. One shared a story about some dumbass who opted for the pat down and had black tar heroin in the waistband of his pants. We laughed and agreed that was pretty stupid, and then I was on my way.
 
2013-01-09 04:27:37 PM

jack21221: Until recently, I would have agreed with TFA, but the scanners are SO fast and easy most people don't want to opt out. In my last trip through Logan, the agents by the old metal detector looked bored as everybody went to the line with the scanner. They were practically begging for opt outs so they'd have something to do.

I've flown 3 times in the past few weeks (4th time tonight) and every time has been a fast, pleasant experience.


You know what's faster than the rape scanners? The old metal detectors which worked perfectly fine and didn't claim to do something they can't.
 
2013-01-09 04:27:59 PM

Roukzeptea23: I've opted out twice. That's also the number of times I've flow since the scanners have been in use. Both times, the women giving me the pat down were professional and nice. The second time, though, the guy managing the line gave me a lot of crap for opting out. He said, "They don't use X-rays, so you don't need to opt out." while using a tone like I was a moron. I said that I didn't care and still wanted the pat down and he griped at me, saying, "You can opt out if you want, but you don't need to because the machines don't use x-rays." Look, I'm getting the pat down because I'm more comfortable with a woman touching me a little bit than I am with creepy TSA dudes looking at my generic naked outline while they're being dicks. For me, it's not about how much cancer I am or am not getting.


You should care more about them malfunctioning and frying you than someone you don't know seeing some vague outline of your body and maybe making a comment to another person you will never meet. They don't eve see your face well and wouldn't recognize you if they ran into you at the food court. It's a body, who cares. Everyone has seen them naked. It's not like they're watching you poop and posting it in Facebook so all your friends stumble on it then make fun of the faces you make while pooping or something.
 
2013-01-09 04:29:53 PM
I have a knee replacement so before the scanners, I always got the pat down because the implant set off the metal detector. I did usually have to wait in a little plexiglass box but it didn't really bother me. If the wait was more than a couple minutes (for a female agent), I got multiple apologies. I do live in Austin where people are generally nice and fly in and out of Florida a lot, where there are lots of passengers with hip/knee replacements. I think this guy might be overreacting.

Or maybe he's flying out of Dulles, where they really seem to think most people have a good chance of being actual terrorists.
 
2013-01-09 04:33:06 PM
I had a splint on my wrist and even though I told the TSA in Denver it had a metal insert to keep it rigid they still said to go through the metal detector. It of course beeped, then they gleefully hauled me into an "inspection area" while being surrounded by agents.

It's one thing to be thorough, but another to be assholes. I fly often enough that I see the assholic nature of TSA agents. I really think they're more interested in shifting obedient cattle rather than ensure the safety of the crew and passengers.
 
2013-01-09 04:33:21 PM

Nofun: This moron's articles for the last few months (if not longer, didn't bother to check), have nearly all been TSA related.

Author is a moron and a scumbag. I don't see him writing about the soldiers still fighting this war, or about the 9/11 rescue workers still waiting for medical care. These things are all fine, but the TSA: they're outrageous!

We get it, you have a small dick. Now step through the damn scanner.


You sound like an angry, lonely, mouth-breathing TSA agent. I'm opting out from now on. Kiss my ass.
 
2013-01-09 04:35:51 PM
stuffer:
You should care more about them malfunctioning and frying you than someone you don't know seeing some vague outline of your body and maybe making a comment to another person you will never meet. They don't eve see your face well and wouldn't recognize you if they ran into you at the food court. It's a body, who cares. Everyone has seen them naked. It's not like they're watching you poop and posting it in Facebook so all your friends stumble on it then make fun of the faces you make while pooping or something.

I'm not worried about running into a TSA agent and them being able to know that it was my vague naked outline that they saw. I read a few articles on how to decide whether you should take the scanner or opt out. They all gave pros and cons, but mentioned that each person should decide that they are more comfortable with. While the scanners frying me is a valid concern, it's not the only concern. I weighed the options and concluded that I am more comfortable with the opt out. I don't mind professional people, like my doctor, seeing me naked. I don't feel like most TSA employees are very professional. I also feel more comfortable with a woman conducting a search than a man. If I get the opt out, I get a woman. If I go through a scanner, it might be a man or a woman and I don't have control over that. I've heard numerous people, including a friend of mine, comment that at their airport it was clear that attractive and young females were being picked more often to go through the scanners. There was the one story in the news from the woman who was made to go through multiple times because "the picture wasn't clear" until a woman TSA agent came over and told the male TSA agents that the picture was clear and that they needed to knock it off. It's just a body, but it's my body and I don't need to be fodder for immature males who are getting a kick out of it. I need to choose what I am comfortable with, and that's the pat down.
 
2013-01-09 04:36:21 PM

DS1970: Nofun: This moron's articles for the last few months (if not longer, didn't bother to check), have nearly all been TSA related.

Author is a moron and a scumbag. I don't see him writing about the soldiers still fighting this war, or about the 9/11 rescue workers still waiting for medical care. These things are all fine, but the TSA: they're outrageous!

We get it, you have a small dick. Now step through the damn scanner.

You sound like an angry, lonely, mouth-breathing TSA agent. I'm opting out from now on. Kiss my ass.


i3.kym-cdn.com
 
2013-01-09 04:39:17 PM

stuffer: I opt out as I don't trust the proper technicians are on hand to guarantee the machine isn't malfunctioning giving improper doses of radiation, and think this article is a joke. They ask if you want a private room, and if you feel embarrassed standing off to the side for a minute or 2 you have mental issues to deal with. I think of it as the cancer free club. Also, there are 2 types of those machines, Millimeter and sub millimeter (or something like that) and one is more risky than the other. I forget which.


I went through the full-body scanner once, THEN they took me to the "little room". Nothing big in there...typical pretty light-handed search. They rub your clothes with the gloves to detect cocaine but...that's pretty much it.

So here's the payoff of the story: I asked them how they determine some people should be grabbed for further processing...he said "random". Random?! That is - by definition - the WORST system one could use to detect threats.

I feel safer.
 
2013-01-09 04:39:43 PM
 
2013-01-09 04:40:49 PM
I've not flown since the "rapiscan" machines were announced. I spent an afternoon on the internet reading the technical documents provided by the company, the government guidelines, material by the FDA's department of radiological health (I might have that name wrong, but they deal with lasers and scanners), and other materials.

Normally, people operating machines that have any of these capabilities are trained in the use of those devices. They wear dosimeters. The machines are operated in such a way that the only person exposed to the radiation/lasers/etc are the patients. The machines are recalibrated and monitored regularly.

The TSA does not allow their employees to wear dosimeters. No TSA employees are trained in radiology (except for the rare few who were unemployed and took the job out of desparation). The devices are inspected ONCE A YEAR. These machines are used thousands and thousands of times and are looked at once every 365 days, give or take.

I don't want to be in the same *building* with these things, let alone close up and personal.
 
2013-01-09 04:40:49 PM
Thank you George Bush Jr. for keeping me safe.

/this is his legacy
 
2013-01-09 04:42:08 PM

Nofun: This moron's articles for the last few months (if not longer, didn't bother to check), have nearly all been TSA related.

Author is a moron and a scumbag. I don't see him writing about the soldiers still fighting this war, or about the 9/11 rescue workers still waiting for medical care. These things are all fine, but the TSA: they're outrageous!

We get it, you have a small dick. Now step through the damn scanner.


*holding envelope to forehead*

Drives a red Ram pickup, drinks PBR, likes to wear camo, does not like reading
 
2013-01-09 04:48:05 PM

Nofun: This moron's articles ...Now step through the damn scanner.


Congratulations, quite a few bites from that.
 
2013-01-09 04:54:32 PM
Off topic, but the whole water bottle thing just destroys the illusion for me. This shiat is sooo dangerous I can't bring it through security but they can keep an entire trashcan full of discarded bottles next to the crowd of people waiting in line and pallets of them on the other side of security. Theater.
 
2013-01-09 05:16:24 PM
It has to be the airport, because I've been through LAX many times, and the TSA agents have never been anything but polite and done their best to get everyone through as quickly as possible with as little harassment as they can. My mom, who always gets the pat-down due to her hip replacement, has never had one complaint.

This doesn't mean there aren't bad TSA agents out there; but it must be due to dick supervisors at those airports not requiring their agents to be halfway decent human beings.
 
2013-01-09 05:17:16 PM
A few years back, I had an electrical medical implant put into my spine. It includes 7 feet of unshielded cable. I was warned by my doctor about stepping through electromagnectic fields, as the unshielded cable can pick up some of the charge and direct it into my spinal column (and damage the implant). I was even given a nifty little card that I'm supposed to present to the TSA that explains my implant to them, and tells them I can't walk through their machines or be "wanded". The same goes for those theft detection devices at grocery stores and the like. I have to walk around them. If they're hidden, or I don't notice them, I feel a strong jolt run down my spine and it drops me to my knees.

The funny thing is, I almost never have to explain anything to the TSA. I just hold up the card and before I can say anything, they always ask, "pace maker?" I've tried correcting them, but after several flights, I've found it's just easier to nod, and agree with the pace maker question. My back issue has degraded more over time, and now I request a wheel chair at the ticket counter. So the TSA usually just assumes I'll need a pat-down check anyway.

But one time (I don't recall which airport), back when I only needed a cane to walk, I displayed my medical card and explained that I couldn't walk through the metal detector. The TSA agent argued with me. So I tried to describe the complexity of the implant, and he instead pointed me to the big-ass scanner. I again explained why I couldn't walk through the machine. He persisted, and in a mocking, childish tone, implied I was an idiot, because the big scanner doesn't use magnets or X-rays, and therefore couldn't possibly hurt me or my implant. After several minutes of his snotty attitude, I asked him to produce a copy of his medical license. Obviously, he said he didn't have one. So I told him, in lieu of him having a medical degree, I was going to follow the medical advice prescribed to me by my doctor, and refuse to step into the machine. At that point, he told me to walk through the machine, and promised me he wouldn't turn it on while I was in it. I respectfully refused, and stepped off to the side onto the mats where they do the pat-downs. Luckily, another agent performed my pat-down.

But that's been my only unpleasant experience with the TSA. All other times, they've been nothing but accomodating and friendly. In fact, a few times, they apologized for any delays, while pointing out they were training a new person. So I offered to spend a little extra time with them, so they could demonstrate and detail the search techniques to the new person, and give them a chance to perform the checks as well, usually cracking a joke or two to lighten the mood. I feel really bad for them. You can tell they deal with angry, pissed off people all day, because they've always seem taken-aback at my polite demeanor during the searches. And the searches have never been invasive. Just simple pat-downs in perfectly acceptable areas. Hell, they spend more time examining my crutches, than they do me.

Regardless, I do feel the TSA is a completely pointless endeavour. I think our pre 9/11 security was perfectly adequate, and a hell of a lot more convenient to the passengers.
 
2013-01-09 05:17:47 PM
I can't trust TSA not to steal my underwear when I fly (seriously. Every time, except the one time I flew nonstop to Ohio. I guess the had plenty of panties in Portland), why should I trust them with my nekkidness? They want to see me nude, they can pay like everybody else.
 
2013-01-09 05:28:52 PM
In the past couple of years I have flown thru HNL, LA, Vegas, New York and Miami sometimes drunk sometimes hungover sometimes sober, I also have an implanted prosthetic TSA has always been professional and nice with me and even shared a few jokes.

guy must be and asshole.
 
2013-01-09 05:30:14 PM
When opting out, play a nice game of "gay chicken" with the screener. Let out a small moan, make comments about how you would "normally have to pay for this kind of thing", etc. Basically project onto the agent and try to make this as uncomfortable as you can for them. frkk 'em. (And to the pussy artist from philly farker who called me out in the last thread, a big ole 'blow me' to you as well).
 
2013-01-09 05:30:59 PM

redmid17: jack21221: Until recently, I would have agreed with TFA, but the scanners are SO fast and easy most people don't want to opt out. In my last trip through Logan, the agents by the old metal detector looked bored as everybody went to the line with the scanner. They were practically begging for opt outs so they'd have something to do.

I've flown 3 times in the past few weeks (4th time tonight) and every time has been a fast, pleasant experience.

You know what's faster than the rape scanners? The old metal detectors which worked perfectly fine and didn't claim to do something they can't.


Well, they certainly did not make guys like Chertoff rich.
Scanners, on the other hand,,,
 
2013-01-09 05:31:46 PM
 
2013-01-09 05:33:45 PM

vicioushobbit: I can't trust TSA not to steal my underwear when I fly (seriously. Every time, except the one time I flew nonstop to Ohio. I guess the had plenty of panties in Portland), why should I trust them with my nekkidness? They want to see me nude, they can pay like everybody else.


Ok, Madonna. How much?
 
2013-01-09 05:35:13 PM
Regardless of how you feel about the scanners, do NOT go through TSA security with anything you don't want stolen.

Buddy of mine was coming back from a tradeshow, TSA stole $700. He went in to work the next day expecting to get fired, but his boss told him it wasn't the first time...
 
2013-01-09 05:35:54 PM
So on my most recent flight (during the holiday rush) I decided to go through the backscatter machine for the first time, rather than opting out, which is what I have always done.

I go through and get stopped and asked to wait for a pat-down...why? Because the excessive sweat that had collected on my undershirt from the rushing around in too-heavy clothes, had shown up on the x-ray as some sort of potential threat.

Fantastic.
 
2013-01-09 05:38:30 PM
Oh, and I want to add that I always go into the opt-out pat downs with a very positive attitude, making small talk with the agent and generally thanking them for their time, and it almost always goes smoothly and with them being pleasant back to me.
 
2013-01-09 05:41:46 PM

illegal.tender: a) fark the TSA.
b) If the NRA had any credibility about their "fear the gummint" line they would be going after the TSA with both barrels, so to speak, and they would have started yesterday.


The NRA is the National Rifle Association, it's oriented towards firearms, not towards air travel. Asking the NRA to get involved with TSA screening is like asking the MPAA to do something about gun sales: it's just not what they do.

If anything, blame the ACLU for being asleep at the switch on Second Amendment rights, while being so vigilant about all the rest of them.
 
2013-01-09 05:46:16 PM
If the backscatter machines were operated by trained, medical-level x-ray techs at all times, I would consider using them.

But they aren't. They're run by people with some junior college (at best) who are generally rushed, passive-aggressive bullies. I don't want them deciding just how many rads to fire into my ballsack on any given travel day.
 
2013-01-09 05:54:29 PM

Brown Sauce: "The feel of those big curious hands are a small price to pay for our national security!"


Easily the worst comments section ever, the nadir of the intertubes. Poe's Law shudders in the rape shower awful.
 
2013-01-09 06:00:38 PM
I'm never sure why the gun groups get so nervous about their rights but seem pathetically unaware of stuff like the TSA, the Patriot act, and other things that are steadily taking away our freedoms. I guess they plane to win them back by firearm.
 
2013-01-09 06:03:34 PM

r1niceboy: I had a splint on my wrist and even though I told the TSA in Denver it had a metal insert to keep it rigid they still said to go through the metal detector. It of course beeped, then they gleefully hauled me into an "inspection area" while being surrounded by agents.

It's one thing to be thorough, but another to be assholes. I fly often enough that I see the assholic nature of TSA agents. I really think they're more interested in shifting obedient cattle rather than ensure the safety of the crew and passengers.


the worst TSA farkheads are in Oakland

//CSB purrr loudly and say a little more to the left
 
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