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(CNN)   My fellow Earthicans, today is President Nixon's 100th birthday   (cnn.com) divider line 48
    More: Hero, President Nixon, GOP, Equal Rights Amendment, Earthican, tricky dick, Khmer Rouge, CPAC  
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355 clicks; posted to Politics » on 09 Jan 2013 at 2:00 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-09 12:57:47 PM  
www.squidmobile.com


"My fellow Americans, I would like to share with you, what I have done since leaving the White House.

My wife Patricia and I have decided to explore the great world of adult film entertainment, since this great country deserves great porn for the elderly.

To this end, Patricia has invested in a two speed rotary device, and I have purchased for myself a camouflage bikini thong, in the same camouflage pattern worn by our brave soldiers in the jungles of Vietnam.

 My fellow Americans, the people have got to know whether or not their ex-president is a porn star.  Well, I'm not a porn star."


--Transcript of audio recording from Richard Nixon's private audio logs, circa 1982
 
2013-01-09 01:10:21 PM  
That makes me feel really farking old.
 
2013-01-09 01:11:08 PM  
Haroooooo.
 
2013-01-09 01:14:42 PM  
slurmed.com
 
2013-01-09 01:39:53 PM  
Hero?

The man was a greedy, evil, criminal. And got caught.
 
2013-01-09 02:02:02 PM  
I'm positive Nixon is looking up and smiling at all this birthday attention.
 
2013-01-09 02:02:07 PM  
May death come swiftly to his enemies!
 
2013-01-09 02:05:04 PM  
Hunter Thompson's obituary of Nixon was one of the best obits even written.

"If the right people had been in charge of Nixon's funeral, his casket would have been launched into one of those open-sewage canals that empty into the ocean just south of Los Angeles. He was a swine of a man and a jabbering dupe of a president. Nixon was so crooked that he needed servants to help him screw his pants on every morning. Even his funeral was illegal. He was queer in the deepest way. His body should have been burned in a trash bin."
 
2013-01-09 02:05:27 PM  
This is how far politics have shifted in the US. Nixon would be the libbiest lib to ever lib for the presidency if he was running for office today.
 
2013-01-09 02:06:40 PM  
 
2013-01-09 02:08:44 PM  

Darth_Lukecash: Hero?

The man was a greedy, evil, criminal. And got caught.


Because of the old Vulcan proverb that states "Only Nixon could go to China"
 
2013-01-09 02:11:43 PM  
Things got no better at the Gridiron that night. Absolutely determined that a good time would be had by all, and equally determined to bring down the house, Richard Nixon appeared as the final act. The curtain pulled back to reveal the president and Vice President Spiro Agnew seated at two modest black pianos (Dwight Chapin at the White House had requested grand pianos or at least baby grands but the Statler Hilton could only manage uprights). This was the first time a chief executive had appeared on the Gridiron stage, and Nixon opened by asking: "What about this 'southern strategy' we hear so often?" "Yes suh, Mr. President," Agnew replied, "Ah agree with you completely on yoah southern strategy." The dialect, as Wilkins observed, got the biggest boffo.

After more banter with the "darky" Agnew, Nixon opened the piano duet with Franklin Roosevelt's favorite song ("Home on the Range"), then Harry Truman's ("Missouri Waltz"), then Lyndon Johnson's ("The Eyes of Texas Are Upon You"). Agnew, drowned him out a few bars into each with a manic Dixie" on hi.s piano, and the Gridiron crew got louder and louder. "The crowd ate" it up," Wilkins observed. "They roared." Nixon ended with his own favorite songs, "God Bless America" and "Auld Lang Syne," and here Agnew played it straight. The Gridiron dinner faded with five hundred men suddenly solemn and on their feet, many with tears in their eyes, all singing along, all celebrating their nation.

Link
 
2013-01-09 02:13:10 PM  
wait - reagan was older than nixon?
 
2013-01-09 02:14:48 PM  
Oh shiat, I feel old.
 
2013-01-09 02:15:36 PM  

FlashHarry: wait - reagan was older than nixon?


He didn't have Alzheimer's, it was petrification setting in.
 
2013-01-09 02:17:12 PM  
Dig him up and bury him again, just to make sure the bastard's really dead. Until John Yoo came along, Nixon was the most evil man in American government in my lifetime.
 
2013-01-09 02:19:07 PM  

monoski: Oh shiat, I feel old.


It was Scoop Jackson's 100th birthday a few months ago that did it for me.
 
2013-01-09 02:19:16 PM  
Wouldn't it be "the anniversary of his birth?"

Corpses don't have birthdays (they do have birthdates of course).
 
2013-01-09 02:21:26 PM  

AndreMA: Wouldn't it be "the anniversary of his birth?"

Corpses don't have birthdays (they do have birthdates of course).


Too many words. Our national attention span isn't that long.
 
2013-01-09 02:21:43 PM  
 
2013-01-09 02:29:03 PM  

Darth_Lukecash: Hero?

The man was a greedy, evil, criminal. And got caught.


Dude was a good president and did good things for the country. The petty political games he was playing shouldn't overshadow his actual good work as president(Nixon Doctrine, ending the Vietnam war, driving desegregation and equality, opening up ties with China, environmentalism/EPA, OSHA, etc).
 
2013-01-09 02:29:54 PM  

Hillbilly Jim: This is how far politics have shifted in the US. Nixon would be the libbiest lib to ever lib for the presidency if he was running for office today.


From my above link:

From the above link:

Most songs and skits spoofed Nixon's so-called southern strategy of reaching white voters at black expense. For this president race was a tool for breaking the "solid South" and tipping those white voters out of their traditional Democratic party nest. Even Gridiron president Jack Steele, Washington bureau chief for Scripps-Howard newspapers, joined in. President Nixon could fulfill the Republican promise to stop "court-ordered busing" and otherwise protect neighborhood schools," Steele deadpanned. "All he has to do is get Ralph Nader to get General Motors to recall all the school buses."

A newspaper reporter on the card, in the role of HEW chief "Bob Finch," sang, to the tune of A Dixie Melody," a summary of this Republican party tack that Wilkins found a bit too cute:

Rock-a-bye the voters with a southern strategy; Don't you fuss; we won't bus children in ol' Dixie! We'll put George Wallace in decline Below the Mason-Dixon line. We'll help save the nation From things like civil rights and inte-gra-tion! Weep no more, John Stennis! We'll pack the court for sure. We will fight for voting rights - To keep them white and pure! A zillion Southern votes we will deliver; Move Washington down on the Swanee River! Rock-a-bye with Ol' Massa Nixon and his Dixie strategy!

A singing "Carswell" developed the court-packing reference:

Nobody knows the trouble I've seen, Nobody knows but Haynesworth.

President Nixon had tried and failed to put Florida's G. Harrold Carswell and South Carolina's Clement E Haynesworth, Jr., both outstanding segregationists, onto the Supreme Court in hope of courting Alabama Governor George Wallace's constituency.[6]
 
2013-01-09 02:31:01 PM  
I kind'a miss the ol' reprobate. Oh, and the Democrats had some balls back then, too.
 
2013-01-09 02:38:14 PM  

bhcompy: Darth_Lukecash: Hero?

The man was a greedy, evil, criminal. And got caught.

Dude was a good president and did good things for the country. The petty political games he was playing shouldn't overshadow his actual good work as president(Nixon Doctrine, ending the Vietnam war, driving desegregation and equality, opening up ties with China, environmentalism/EPA, OSHA, etc).


He also gave us the DEA and his paranoia led to illegal domestic spying by the CIA (Church Committee, I think?).

A hard-drinking Quaker... complicated guy.
 
2013-01-09 02:42:11 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-01-09 02:42:15 PM  
And the headless body of Agnew will be 94 in September.
 
2013-01-09 02:44:38 PM  
Oh expletive deleted!
 
2013-01-09 02:54:36 PM  

ckccfa: Oh expletive deleted!


Obscene gerund?

/obscure? Not on Fark, I hope.
 
2013-01-09 02:58:37 PM  
And my Mom would have been 90 today.

On the whole, I'd really rather have Mom back.

/Unless we're going full monkey's paw.
//If we're going full monkey's paw, I'll take Nixon.
 
2013-01-09 03:29:20 PM  
Stay dead, my `friend'. Wonder if the rest of Howard Hughes' cash was buried with him? I mean, the cash that wasn't stashed on Bebe's yacht (FBI got that), or the bucks that went to Nixon's brother for the burger joints or the pittance for Hunt/Liddy and the boys. The $5000 a week Hughes retainer paid to Larry O'Brien (soon to be Chairman of the Democratic National committee and, later, NBA Commissioner) to (successfully) lobby for a change to the tax laws (one Rep.observed, on the floor, `so, Mr. Hughes wants to pay Mr. Hughes to pay Mr. Hughes?') was a bigger problem for dick than keeping his cut under wraps (paranoia is expansive). That a naked, dope shooting, mormon virgin blood transfusing billionaire could play the system into a dark hole was no mere novelty (as we hypothesized at the time) but a portent of things to come...

Nixonian porn?

24.media.tumblr.com

/hotter than Rosemary
 
2013-01-09 03:33:06 PM  
Nixon was both one of the best presidents and the worst presidents. He deserved to be villianized and impeached for his role in the Watergate coverup. He also deserves to be heroized for finally pulling out of Vietnam, his relations with China & USSR, and the EPA.
 
2013-01-09 03:35:25 PM  
also, Ford's 100th is later this year as well
 
2013-01-09 03:42:03 PM  
I've always been struck by the thought that Nixon was actually one of our better presidents, in terms of how effective he was at doing his job and considering the situation he inherited from LBJ with Vietnam.

We would probably even remember him (semi) fondly if he hadn't managed to get embroiled in Watergate.
 
2013-01-09 03:42:25 PM  

The Downfall: Nixon was both one of the best presidents and the worst presidents. He deserved to be villianized and impeached for his role in the Watergate coverup. He also deserves to be heroized for finally pulling out of Vietnam, his relations with China & USSR, and the EPA.


As the old Vulcan proverb says, Only Nixon could go to China.
 
2013-01-09 03:42:27 PM  
"He was a swine of a man and a jabbering dupe of a president. Nixon was so crooked that he needed servants to help him screw his pants on every morning. Even his funeral was illegal. He was queer in the deepest way. His body should have been burned in a trash bin."

- Hunter S. Thompson


Full text here.
 
2013-01-09 04:01:39 PM  

Hoboclown: May death come swiftly to his enemies!

 
2013-01-09 04:04:02 PM  

The Downfall: Nixon was both one of the best presidents and the worst presidents. He deserved to be villianized and impeached for his role in the Watergate coverup. He also deserves to be heroized for finally pulling out of Vietnam, his relations with China & USSR, and the EPA.


This is true. Nixon was a conundrum, a very complicated, deeply intelligent, probably paranoid man. I don't think I would have a better grasp of his presidency had I actually been alive at the time. He did some good stuff. He did some bad stuff. He did some WTF stuff.

But I can say this: he wasn't as bad as W.
 
2013-01-09 04:09:00 PM  

Strolpol: I've always been struck by the thought that Nixon was actually one of our better presidents, in terms of how effective he was at doing his job and considering the situation he inherited from LBJ with Vietnam.


He was a master of Politics-the game of it, the deal-making and intrigue-and I think Nixon honestly believed he was always doing what was best for the country.

He was a crook in the sense that he thought he could act toward that end with impunity ("If the President does it, that means it is not illegal."), but not in the sense that he was enriching himself from public coffers or selling out the country to its enemies. He was pragmatic enough to work with his own enemies to advance his goals, but was paranoid enough to think his political enemies to be enemies of the country itself. His goals, from his point of view, were obviously the best goals for the country, and woe to those who would oppose him. That said, his goals weren't about global conquest, or even simply lining his wallet, but rather peace and prosperity for all, regardless of the cost of achieving those goals.

Nixon was basically Darth Vader.

We would probably even remember him (semi) fondly if he hadn't managed to get embroiled in Watergate.

Much like Anakin Skywalker could have been remembered as one of the great Jedi Masters, had he not gone all murdery.
 
2013-01-09 04:32:58 PM  

BKITU: Strolpol: I've always been struck by the thought that Nixon was actually one of our better presidents, in terms of how effective he was at doing his job and considering the situation he inherited from LBJ with Vietnam.

He was a master of Politics-the game of it, the deal-making and intrigue-and I think Nixon honestly believed he was always doing what was best for the country.

He was a crook in the sense that he thought he could act toward that end with impunity ("If the President does it, that means it is not illegal."), but not in the sense that he was enriching himself from public coffers or selling out the country to its enemies. He was pragmatic enough to work with his own enemies to advance his goals, but was paranoid enough to think his political enemies to be enemies of the country itself. His goals, from his point of view, were obviously the best goals for the country, and woe to those who would oppose him. That said, his goals weren't about global conquest, or even simply lining his wallet, but rather peace and prosperity for all, regardless of the cost of achieving those goals.

Nixon was basically Darth Vader.

We would probably even remember him (semi) fondly if he hadn't managed to get embroiled in Watergate.

Much like Anakin Skywalker could have been remembered as one of the great Jedi Masters, had he not gone all murdery.


The difference was that Watergate really wasn't all that bad. It's not like he sold the country out or had Hoffa killed and buried at the Meadowlands. Nixon really was the benevolent dictator, at least that's how he acted. We need more politicians like him, ones that act in the best interest of the country rather than for themselves or their party(such as Nixon didn't personally agree with bussing, but he went along with it).
 
2013-01-09 04:44:38 PM  
idesigniphone.net
 
2013-01-09 05:22:04 PM  
GaryPDX you dolt!!!

/Seemed apropo
 
2013-01-09 07:50:43 PM  

Darth_Lukecash: Hero?

The man was a greedy, evil, criminal. And got caught.


after bush and the tea party nixon seems a flaming liberal do-gooder with a heart of gold

ain't that farkin' hilarious?

too bad the morally crippled old chizzler didn't live long enough to see that happen
 
2013-01-09 09:07:42 PM  
I was going to make a comment about how the wonderful thing about living in Southern California is I can drink a big pot of coffee in the morning and then visit the Nixon grave site. Then chug a large bottle of water and drive on over to Reagan's final resting place.

But alas I am not original.
'SATANIST' DANCES ON REAGAN'S GRAVE
 
2013-01-09 10:24:20 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: Haroooooo.


Haaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrooooooooo!!

The story behind that particular utterance on West's part is actually quite hilarious. As revealed on a couple of the Futurama commentaries (all of which I recommend, there's never been a better reason to buy a DVD/Blu-Ray set than commentary on EVERY SINGLE EPISODE) which was that he actually watched the Nixon/Kennedy debate as a kid and thought that Nixon looked like he was turning into a wolfman.
 
2013-01-10 01:09:38 AM  

Empty Matchbook: FirstNationalBastard: Haroooooo.

Haaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrooooooooo!!

The story behind that particular utterance on West's part is actually quite hilarious. As revealed on a couple of the Futurama commentaries (all of which I recommend, there's never been a better reason to buy a DVD/Blu-Ray set than commentary on EVERY SINGLE EPISODE) which was that he actually watched the Nixon/Kennedy debate as a kid and thought that Nixon looked like he was turning into a wolfman.


Totally OT: I can't agree more on the recommendation to listen to the DVD commentaries. I've actually listened to them more frequently than I've watched the episodes. Just some very smart, creative, and entertaining people riffing on a smart, creative and entertaining series (at least the original one). It must have been fun to work on that show.
 
2013-01-10 01:21:52 PM  

cepson: Empty Matchbook: FirstNationalBastard: Haroooooo.

Haaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrooooooooo!!

The story behind that particular utterance on West's part is actually quite hilarious. As revealed on a couple of the Futurama commentaries (all of which I recommend, there's never been a better reason to buy a DVD/Blu-Ray set than commentary on EVERY SINGLE EPISODE) which was that he actually watched the Nixon/Kennedy debate as a kid and thought that Nixon looked like he was turning into a wolfman.

Totally OT: I can't agree more on the recommendation to listen to the DVD commentaries. I've actually listened to them more frequently than I've watched the episodes. Just some very smart, creative, and entertaining people riffing on a smart, creative and entertaining series (at least the original one). It must have been fun to work on that show.


Likewise. I'm not the biggest fan of the new stuff (it has its moments) but I'm still buying every single season just for the commentaries.
 
2013-01-10 01:52:06 PM  

Empty Matchbook: cepson: Empty Matchbook: FirstNationalBastard: Haroooooo.

Haaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrooooooooo!!

The story behind that particular utterance on West's part is actually quite hilarious. As revealed on a couple of the Futurama commentaries (all of which I recommend, there's never been a better reason to buy a DVD/Blu-Ray set than commentary on EVERY SINGLE EPISODE) which was that he actually watched the Nixon/Kennedy debate as a kid and thought that Nixon looked like he was turning into a wolfman.

Totally OT: I can't agree more on the recommendation to listen to the DVD commentaries. I've actually listened to them more frequently than I've watched the episodes. Just some very smart, creative, and entertaining people riffing on a smart, creative and entertaining series (at least the original one). It must have been fun to work on that show.

Likewise. I'm not the biggest fan of the new stuff (it has its moments) but I'm still buying every single season just for the commentaries.


On the flipside, I'd much rather have the Simpsons episodes out on DVD from season 16 to present rather than wait for the commentaries to be recorded at such a glacial pace that only one season is released per year.

DVD will be a dead format before The Simpsons ever catches up.

/besides, who cares about commentaries on anything but the most important episodes on recent Simpsons seasons?
 
2013-01-10 10:30:41 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: Empty Matchbook: cepson: Empty Matchbook: FirstNationalBastard: Haroooooo.

Haaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrooooooooo!!

The story behind that particular utterance on West's part is actually quite hilarious. As revealed on a couple of the Futurama commentaries (all of which I recommend, there's never been a better reason to buy a DVD/Blu-Ray set than commentary on EVERY SINGLE EPISODE) which was that he actually watched the Nixon/Kennedy debate as a kid and thought that Nixon looked like he was turning into a wolfman.

Totally OT: I can't agree more on the recommendation to listen to the DVD commentaries. I've actually listened to them more frequently than I've watched the episodes. Just some very smart, creative, and entertaining people riffing on a smart, creative and entertaining series (at least the original one). It must have been fun to work on that show.

Likewise. I'm not the biggest fan of the new stuff (it has its moments) but I'm still buying every single season just for the commentaries.

On the flipside, I'd much rather have the Simpsons episodes out on DVD from season 16 to present rather than wait for the commentaries to be recorded at such a glacial pace that only one season is released per year.

DVD will be a dead format before The Simpsons ever catches up.

/besides, who cares about commentaries on anything but the most important episodes on recent Simpsons seasons?


Woof, after season 10, they can come out at whatever pace they choose.

/but that's just my opinion
 
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