This ones better.

People who do this are destined to be gang-raped by karma.  I hope violently.

I hope that person gets cancer of the anus.

kid_icarus: If I were him, I would never eat at that restaurant again for the rest of my natural life.

/unless you like your steak served to you after being rubbed on the bathroom floor and seasoned with pubes


I sometimes wonder if people who pull sh*t like this realize the amount of saliva, snot, and semen they've unwittingly ingested in their lives.

sigdiamond2000: I sometimes wonder if people who pull sh*t like this realize the amount of saliva, snot, and semen they've unwittingly ingested in their lives.

Some people pay extra for that.

I hope someone gets his picture out to every restaurant in his city.

How to tip properly, and be an awesome human being in the process (even if you do eat at Applebee's):



How to be a partisan miserly pathetic piece of shiat (regardless of where you're eating):

I never trust these stories.

sigdiamond2000: kid_icarus: If I were him, I would never eat at that restaurant again for the rest of my natural life.

/unless you like your steak served to you after being rubbed on the bathroom floor and seasoned with pubes


I sometimes wonder if people who pull sh*t like this realize the amount of saliva, snot, and semen they've unwittingly ingested in their lives.

They don't.  I have a friend (more my wife's friend actually) and an in-law I refuse to eat out with because they *always* biatch about something at the restaurant.  I've tried to tell them (and others who act this way) that they need to be polite to the waiter/waitress because 1) you don't really need to act like a douche all the time and 2) they will fark with your food.  The response is always, "they better not mess with my food!"  Stupid.

whistleridge: How to tip properly, and be an awesome human being in the process (even if you do eat at Applebee's):

I can't math either dude, I can't math either....

JFarker131: This, a thousand times. I've waited tables, worked in coffee shops, been a bartender. Leave a crappy tip, I will fark with your food, or have someone more disgusting than me do it so I don't have to.

/talked a coworker into ejaculating into a truly awful local politician's alfredo sauce, he complimented the owner after his meal on the new recipe they were using.
//ew.

Well, that sounds felonious.  But at least you can sleep better at night knowing you are the better person.

kid_icarus: Mr. Douchebag's note claimed that he had to cut back on "discretionary spending", which to most normal people would include eating out

I was thinking the same thing.  The tip isn't the "discretionary" part, the eating at a restaurant is.

Three Crooked Squirrels: Well, that sounds felonious.

It sounds like made-up bullsh*t.

More likely, this guy is financially able to tip...he just uses this as a way to express his importent rage over Obama's reelection.

Which also makes him an asshole.

Trivia Jockey: More likely, this guy is financially able to tip...he just uses this as a way to express his importent rage over Obama's reelection.

Which also makes him an asshole.

He'd be a complete dick if not for the lack of tip.

tricycleracer: If you're that worried, you cheap piece of shiat, you shouldn't be spending money at a restaurant.

They're not going to change their lifestyle. They're only going to change yours.

kid_icarus: If you're too broke to leave a tip, you're too broke to be at the restaurant in the first place.

I_Am_Weasel: Trivia Jockey: More likely, this guy is financially able to tip...he just uses this as a way to express his importent rage over Obama's reelection.

Which also makes him an asshole.

He'd be a complete dick if not for the lack of tip.

I normally abhor clever wordplay, but I'm not made of stone.

I'm going to let this one slide.

Lando Lincoln: tricycleracer: If you're that worried, you cheap piece of shiat, you shouldn't be spending money at a restaurant.

They're not going to change their lifestyle. They're only going to change yours.

After all, since that waiter/ess is JUST a waiter/ess they are obviously a libby-lib expecting handouts and he's just doing his God-given right at punishing them.

Not being able to tip at a resturant is like buying a Ferrari but not getting ceramic brakes.

CapeFearCadaver: Lando Lincoln: tricycleracer: If you're that worried, you cheap piece of shiat, you shouldn't be spending money at a restaurant.

They're not going to change their lifestyle. They're only going to change yours.

After all, since that waiter/ess is JUST a waiter/ess they are obviously a libby-lib expecting handouts and he's just doing his God-given right at punishing them.

I know right, it's like hello! Waitresses aren't even job creators...

Makers and Takers man, makers and takers.

My grandfather used to ask waitresses "would you like a dollar or a ring for your tip" and the waitress would say "a ring".  He would make an oragami ring out of a dollar and leave it on the table.

This is apparently HILARIOUS to a farmer.  To a waitress, not so much.

Subtext: "I am a coward and a failure at everything I've ever tried. I have elaborate revenge fantasies about the abuse I take at my menial job from superiors and co-workers alike. My wife utterly controls my life and does not allow me to control any aspect of my life. My children mock and belittle me. This note is my sad and desperate attempt to pretend I am something within a time zone of being a man, even if just for a few seconds. Even though you are a service worker and most likely a disinterested teenager I would never have the courage to say something like this to your face, lest I break down into tears and be forced to trudge to my 1994 Chevy Lumina with Dockers beshat."

sigdiamond2000: Three Crooked Squirrels: Well, that sounds felonious.

It sounds like made-up bullsh*t.

Ya... I agree.  This is fake.

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I would never have the courage to say something like this to your face, lest I break down into tears and be forced to trudge to my 1994 Chevy Lumina with Dockers beshat."

Now, I simply MUST work 'beshat' into a dialog sometime today. Thanks for that.

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Subtext: "I am a coward and a failure at everything I've ever tried. I have elaborate revenge fantasies about the abuse I take at my menial job from superiors and co-workers alike. My wife utterly controls my life and does not allow me to control any aspect of my life. My children mock and belittle me. This note is my sad and desperate attempt to pretend I am something within a time zone of being a man, even if just for a few seconds. Even though you are a service worker and most likely a disinterested teenager I would never have the courage to say something like this to your face, lest I break down into tears and be forced to trudge to my 1994 Chevy Lumina with Dockers beshat."

Rapmaster2000: TIPS means To Insure Prompt Service.  It comes from an Old English term from around 800.  That's why I don't tip unless I receive exceptional service.  If you want to make real money then you need to work out an arrangement with your boss.  Don't make me pay the wages you should demand on your own.  You know, in Europe where I go very often for business, they don't have any tips and the service is outstanding.

0/10

Rapmaster2000: Don't make me pay the wages you should demand on your own.

kid_icarus: As an aside...Mr. Douchebag's note claimed that he had to cut back on "discretionary spending", which to most normal people would include eating out; particularly at a sit-down restaurant that will involve tipping. If you're too broke to leave a tip, you're too broke to be at the restaurant in the first place.

Its easier to be a cock to those below you (or at least, those you perceive as "below you") than it is to actually try and do some work on your own, like campaigning and getting people organized to change laws that you don't like.  Some people also just want to see the world burn, so there is that...

Mr. Coffee Nerves:  lest I break down into tears and be forced to trudge to my 1994 Chevy Lumina with Dockers beshat.

Personal_Lexicon++

You know, stupid dumbshiats tipping guy probably used his credit card to pay for his meal. I would ID theft the bejesus out of him.

Rapmaster2000: TIPS means To Insure Prompt Service.  It comes from an Old English term from around 800.  That's why I don't tip unless I receive exceptional service.  If you want to make real money then you need to work out an arrangement with your boss.  Don't make me pay the wages you should demand on your own.  You know, in Europe where I go very often for business, they don't have any tips and the service is outstanding.

Here is the thing.  Acceptable tips range from 15%-20% here in the US.  20% is really the new norm.  If you step back and think about it, simply adding 20% to all prices is not how it is going to work.  (I have no links for this, but if you search you can find it, economists have studies this)...in reality, your meal would actually be somewhere closer to 40% higher because of payroll taxes, social security, all kinds of stuff.

Here is the other thing.  Yes, in very simple restaurants, it is a easy as bringing a soda and food to a table.  But that is the exception to the rule.

Generally, guests are EXTREMELY demanding.  Let me ask you something - has your waiter ever come back to your table, and ask how everything is and if he can get you something and you say "everything is great, I am all set..."  Then not even 30 seconds later, you ask for an additional side of ranch?  The waiter gets your ranch and then you ask for a side of ketchup...that in the industry is what is known as "running you around" (you being the waiter).  Common courtesy would dictate that you would have asked for your ranch and ketchup the very first time.  Now, why am I going through this?  Because as a waiter, you develop and adapt to your tables as best as you can, you have a rhythm that you keep, and when someone piece meals their requests it gets VERY frustrating and it actually effects the service of other tables.  Ever been sitting there wondering why your Coke is taking so damn long to get to your table?  It is likely because of another guest/table, not a bad waiter.

It takes a pretty well honed set of skills to deal with the general public, especially around food and keep a smile.

Spitting, peeing, cumming, etc into peoples food does happen, but it is VERY rare.  I would argue that it is a fallacy perpetuated by Hollywood and folklore more than anything else...seasoned professionals do not do that, especially in nicer restaurants.  What will likely happen if you give a bad tip for no reason other than you disagreeing with the "American Style Tipping System" is that you are going to get mediocre and likely rushed service (I want to turn your shiatty tipping ass out of here ASAP so I can make some real money).  It is simply not worth my time as a waiter to invest being nice, staying on top of your meal progress, refilling your water/drinks, etc. because no matter how great I perform, I know it is for nothing.  If you are regularly stiffing the staff at the places you frequent, it is likely you are well known as a bad tipper, and the waiter's service to your table reflects that.

Ah, a tea-tard's calling card.

whistleridge: How to tip properly, and be an awesome human being in the process (even if you do eat at Applebee's):

mankindunplugged.com

"I CAN'T MATH"

lulz

Endive Wombat: If you are regularly stiffing the staff at the places you frequent, it is likely you are well known as a bad tipper, and the waiter's service to your table reflects that.

Protip: Do NOT stiff your waiter/waitress if you are out with your boss/potential boss on a business/interview lunch. You will pay for it in the end.

Also, do NOT stiff your waiter/waitress if you're out on a date. NO SUCKY SUCKY FOR YOU