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(Glossy News)   Proof that horoscopes are a joke... I present to you the random horoscope generator. It actually works. Hit refresh a few times and you'll see   (glossynews.com) divider line 17
    More: Obvious, horoscopes, authors  
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11956 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jan 2013 at 11:39 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-01-09 11:47:29 AM  
4 votes:

Buttknuckle: Yeah, but at least fortune cookies still work.


...in bed.
2013-01-09 08:32:05 AM  
3 votes:
Of course it's a joke. Why someone would want to look so closely at a whore is beyond me.
2013-01-09 12:58:24 PM  
2 votes:
"This week you will come to realize something you forgot about, and it will look twice at the elderly and infirmed. If this doesn't make sense, it will as your day goes on."

I can't help but feel this is some poorly formed riddle. Is it the cat? Did I forget to feed the cat and now it's eyeing up grandpa?
2013-01-09 11:51:11 AM  
2 votes:
You're only saying that cause you're a (*insert astral sign here).
2013-01-09 01:13:27 PM  
1 votes:
The only thing that gives me the slightest reason to think there might be something to astrology is Scorpios are consistently such jerks.
2013-01-09 01:08:28 PM  
1 votes:

offmymeds: Committee_For_Aesthetic_Deletions: Mine started with, "You should know that your Uranus is waxing."

So obviously true, I got shivers.

Waxing Uranus? That's gotta hurt!


Makes me say, "Ouch!" like, a Brazillian times.

/so ashamed
2013-01-09 12:30:21 PM  
1 votes:
I like what you did there subby

/but today the stars are saying its not entirely your day
2013-01-09 12:12:35 PM  
1 votes:
Greetings, my friends. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember, my friends, future events such as these will affect you in the future.

farm4.static.flickr.com
2013-01-09 12:12:06 PM  
1 votes:
Now you may find it inconceivable or at the least a little bit unlikely that the relatives positions of the planets and the stars can have a special deep significance that applies to only you but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid scientific evidence so you would have to be some kinda moron not to believe that each and everyone one of them is absolutely true where was I?
2013-01-09 12:02:26 PM  
1 votes:
"Mrs. O: You have green, scaly skin, and a soft yellow underbelly with a series of fin-like ridges running down your spine and tail. Although lizardlike in shape, you can grow anything up to thirty feet in length with huge teeth that can bite off great rocks and trees. You inhabit arid sub-tropical zones and wear spectacles."

/derry and toms
2013-01-09 11:57:27 AM  
1 votes:
"Help! I am trapped in a random horoscope generator!"

/here all night
2013-01-09 11:53:38 AM  
1 votes:
Still not as good as the Deepak Chopra Quote Generator

"Wholeness exists as unparalleled marvel."
2013-01-09 11:52:59 AM  
1 votes:

Carn: CSB:

My sister had a pretty hot friend in college who became very unattractive after we found out she took astrology very literally. For example if her horoscope said something bad would happen to her that day, she wouldn't leave the house even if she had something fun planned. Yeah, something bad did happen, you canceled your fun plans because you're an idiot.

/CSB
//Don't stick it in crazy


Oh buddy, I ALWAYS stick my dick in crazy. It's only led to a few stabs, a few random babies I'm still paying for, and metric tons of sex that would blow your friggen mind... worth it.
2013-01-09 11:50:26 AM  
1 votes:
CSB:

My sister had a pretty hot friend in college who became very unattractive after we found out she took astrology very literally. For example if her horoscope said something bad would happen to her that day, she wouldn't leave the house even if she had something fun planned. Yeah, something bad did happen, you canceled your fun plans because you're an idiot.

/CSB
//Don't stick it in crazy
2013-01-09 11:47:04 AM  
1 votes:
Mine was all about getting a big raise at work and getting along with my coworkers.

I haven't worked since May 2011.
2013-01-09 11:41:25 AM  
1 votes:
Even so, I'd think the randomness of horoscopes would be an improvement on the decision-making skills of people dumb enough to believe in them.
2013-01-09 11:41:21 AM  
1 votes:
Somebody needs to mash this up with the Guy Fieri Menu Generator.
 
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