If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Yahoo)   Soft-spoken wife of poisoned lottery winner tearfully declares, "I didn't do it even though he died right after eating the dinner I cooked him"   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 15
    More: Followup, Aziz Ansari, Illinois Lottery  
•       •       •

11401 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jan 2013 at 6:26 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-01-09 06:27:58 AM
11 votes:
I was making Chinese food, and the recipe said, "Add rice in."
2013-01-09 07:29:29 AM
6 votes:

SlothB77: it is suspicious when you both have the same dish for dinner but one plate has poison in it in the other plate doesn't


They were both poisoned. She spent the last few years building up an immunity to cyanide powder.But unfortunately she fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous of which is "never get involved in a land war in Asia" and "Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line", but only slightly less well-known is that "you don't kill your husband BEFORE he collects his lottery winnings."
2013-01-09 06:45:40 AM
6 votes:
Danny Kaye's Words of Advice:

content.internetvideoarchive.com

"The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle; the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true!"
2013-01-09 12:52:29 AM
5 votes:
If the oven mitt doesn't fit, you must acquit.
2013-01-09 06:34:10 AM
3 votes:
A little too ironic.
2013-01-09 06:41:29 AM
2 votes:
Clearly many people in the thread are not regular readers of the various Indian daily papers. I believe they have an entire section dedicated to "today's spousal homicides" and have them further broken down into sections like "burned in stone oven" or "hanging from fixture" and the ever popular "fed to the monkeys". Happens disturbingly often.
2013-01-09 06:31:00 AM
2 votes:

Lenny_da_Hog: I was making Chinese food, and the recipe said, "Add rice in."


Who keeps that in their kitchen? Iocane powder, is what I use.
2013-01-09 02:45:21 AM
2 votes:
Him: First thing I'm doing is divorcing you and getting a hot young trophy wife.

Her: Hmmm. Have some more chicken tikka masala.
2013-01-09 11:32:12 AM
1 votes:

vudukungfu: Psycat: Danny Kaye's Words of Advice:

[content.internetvideoarchive.com image 320x240]

"The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle; the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true!"

When is the dragon in the flagon?


When the phallus from the palace squirts the goo that is true.
2013-01-09 08:02:37 AM
1 votes:
I was going to make some snark - but ya'll have made such quality contributions, mine would pale in comparison...

Excellent yorb folks !
2013-01-09 07:02:03 AM
1 votes:

moothemagiccow: Also whenever I read a tragic lottery story, it always begins with them accepting the lump sum. I'm not saying there's a curse, but who the hell takes the lump sum?


The way I understand it, the lump sum amount is determined by a present-value calculation based on the amount won, the number of payments, the length of time, and an interest rate of zero. So someone who takes the lump sum and invests it should end up with more money than they actually won, assuming even a nominal investment return.

But, really, who am I kidding? Most people take the lump sum so they can blow the money that much faster. People who have the financial discipline to invest a big lottery win are not likely to buy lottery tickets in the first place.
2013-01-09 06:48:21 AM
1 votes:

moothemagiccow: Also whenever I read a tragic lottery story, it always begins with them accepting the lump sum. I'm not saying there's a curse, but who the hell takes the lump sum?


I would. I don't trust the state to keep my money safe. I'll take care of that myself. Arrrrggggg....
2013-01-09 06:34:10 AM
1 votes:
She didn't curry any favor with her husband with her cooking...
2013-01-09 06:29:34 AM
1 votes:
FTA: "Urooj Khan"

He was marooned on Ceti Alpha Five, clearly. No enemies indeed.
2013-01-09 01:48:01 AM
1 votes:

fusillade762: Must have been suicide.


Obviously, he knew his life had peaked, and he was just going to waste all that lottery money and wind up broker than ever, so he took a massive dose of cyanide so he could go out on a high note.
 
Displayed 15 of 15 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report