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(Yahoo)   Soft-spoken wife of poisoned lottery winner tearfully declares, "I didn't do it even though he died right after eating the dinner I cooked him"   (news.yahoo.com ) divider line
    More: Followup, Aziz Ansari, Illinois Lottery  
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11433 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jan 2013 at 6:26 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



103 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-01-09 12:27:53 AM  
Must have been suicide.
 
2013-01-09 12:52:29 AM  
If the oven mitt doesn't fit, you must acquit.
 
2013-01-09 01:12:36 AM  
Cui bono
 
2013-01-09 01:18:52 AM  
IDIDN'TDOITNOBODYSAWMEDOITYOUCAN'TPROVEANYTHING
 
2013-01-09 01:48:01 AM  

fusillade762: Must have been suicide.


Obviously, he knew his life had peaked, and he was just going to waste all that lottery money and wind up broker than ever, so he took a massive dose of cyanide so he could go out on a high note.
 
2013-01-09 01:49:29 AM  
That's pretty sad. I can't even snark. I would be offended if somebody died after eating my cooking. Nobody had died yet, apparently yoi have to add the arsenic after you take the pie out of the oven.
 
2013-01-09 01:55:53 AM  
He only won $425,000 too.  I mean, that is a lot of money, but you're hardly set for life after it and if it was the wife, can she really run 3 dry cleaning businesses by herself?  This would make a lot more sense if he was abusive or something, but it really doesn't seem like he was.  Very odd
 
2013-01-09 02:45:21 AM  
Him: First thing I'm doing is divorcing you and getting a hot young trophy wife.

Her: Hmmm. Have some more chicken tikka masala.
 
2013-01-09 05:04:32 AM  
With a fine glass of Chianti!
 
2013-01-09 05:51:18 AM  
Well, we know that correlation does not equal causation.
 
2013-01-09 06:15:28 AM  
Either the wife or the daughter.  Maybe both.
 
2013-01-09 06:22:44 AM  
Wanted for questioning:

hitchcockandme.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-01-09 06:27:58 AM  
I was making Chinese food, and the recipe said, "Add rice in."
 
2013-01-09 06:29:34 AM  
FTA: "Urooj Khan"

He was marooned on Ceti Alpha Five, clearly. No enemies indeed.
 
2013-01-09 06:29:53 AM  
I coulda' been anybody.
 
2013-01-09 06:31:00 AM  

Lenny_da_Hog: I was making Chinese food, and the recipe said, "Add rice in."


Who keeps that in their kitchen? Iocane powder, is what I use.
 
2013-01-09 06:31:45 AM  
poor bastard. The sad part is someone had to prod the coroner to find the damned poison. Came back clean the first time. If you dont properly autopsy a recent lottery winner, who warrants a thorough examination?
 
2013-01-09 06:34:10 AM  
She didn't curry any favor with her husband with her cooking...
 
2013-01-09 06:34:10 AM  
A little too ironic.
 
2013-01-09 06:34:21 AM  
it is suspicious when you both have the same dish for dinner but one plate has poison in it in the other plate doesn't
 
2013-01-09 06:36:55 AM  
She's (They're) Indian? A relative asked for the autopsy?

Yep, the wife did it.
 
2013-01-09 06:37:41 AM  
Also whenever I read a tragic lottery story, it always begins with them accepting the lump sum. I'm not saying there's a curse, but who the hell takes the lump sum?
 
2013-01-09 06:41:29 AM  
Clearly many people in the thread are not regular readers of the various Indian daily papers. I believe they have an entire section dedicated to "today's spousal homicides" and have them further broken down into sections like "burned in stone oven" or "hanging from fixture" and the ever popular "fed to the monkeys". Happens disturbingly often.
 
2013-01-09 06:42:00 AM  

duffblue: That's pretty sad. I can't even snark. I would be offended if somebody died after eating my cooking. Nobody had died yet, apparently yoi have to add the arsenic after you take the pie out of the oven.


You have to follow the recipe to the letter.
 
2013-01-09 06:42:36 AM  

JonnyG: She's (They're) Indian? A relative asked for the autopsy? Yep, the wife did it.


Wait. I agree that she probably did it, but what does her being Indian have to do with anything?
 
2013-01-09 06:43:58 AM  

JonnyG: Clearly many people in the thread are not regular readers of the various Indian daily papers. I believe they have an entire section dedicated to "today's spousal homicides" and have them further broken down into sections like "burned in stone oven" or "hanging from fixture" and the ever popular "fed to the monkeys". Happens disturbingly often.


Ah, alright. I've never been to India, so I wouldn't know. :P

/*shakes tiny fist*
 
2013-01-09 06:45:40 AM  
Danny Kaye's Words of Advice:

content.internetvideoarchive.com

"The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle; the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true!"
 
2013-01-09 06:45:56 AM  
"It's always good if and when the case goes to trial to have as much data as possible," said Cook County Medical Examiner Stephen Cina.

No s--t Sherlock
 
2013-01-09 06:48:21 AM  

moothemagiccow: Also whenever I read a tragic lottery story, it always begins with them accepting the lump sum. I'm not saying there's a curse, but who the hell takes the lump sum?


I would. I don't trust the state to keep my money safe. I'll take care of that myself. Arrrrggggg....
 
2013-01-09 06:48:53 AM  

moothemagiccow: Also whenever I read a tragic lottery story, it always begins with them accepting the lump sum. I'm not saying there's a curse, but who the hell takes the lump sum?


This.

Take the payments and then get loans if you have to. Always play with other people's money.
 
2013-01-09 06:49:06 AM  

JonnyG: Clearly many people in the thread are not regular readers of the various Indian daily papers. I believe they have an entire section dedicated to "today's spousal homicides" and have them further broken down into sections like "burned in stone oven" or "hanging from fixture" and the ever popular "fed to the monkeys". Happens disturbingly often.


So mariticide is India's "teacher has sex with 14-year-old boy?"
 
2013-01-09 06:51:03 AM  
Yet another reason not to throw your hard-earned money into the rip-off that is the lottery.
 
2013-01-09 06:51:26 AM  
It's his own fault if his wife killed him. When she found out he hit the lottery, she said she wanted to go somewhere she's never been before. He told her, "Why don't you go to the kitchen".
 
2013-01-09 06:51:52 AM  
Chicago? Cyanide? Lottery?

Where would one ever get such an idea?

Oh, wait.......ummm.........never mind.
 
2013-01-09 06:54:37 AM  

moothemagiccow: I'm not saying there's a curse, but who the hell takes the lump sum?


Someone who would like to see the bulk of their winnings before age 60.
 
2013-01-09 06:56:09 AM  
In case anybody wants to know...

viricide = husband killing
uxoricide = wife killing
 
2013-01-09 06:58:35 AM  
img259.imageshack.us

This is all I need to win the lottery.
 
2013-01-09 06:59:31 AM  

generallyso: Someone who would like to see the bulk of their winnings before age 60.


Khan obviously didn't think this one through very hard, then.
 
2013-01-09 06:59:55 AM  

Fluorescent Testicle: JonnyG: Clearly many people in the thread are not regular readers of the various Indian daily papers. I believe they have an entire section dedicated to "today's spousal homicides" and have them further broken down into sections like "burned in stone oven" or "hanging from fixture" and the ever popular "fed to the monkeys". Happens disturbingly often.

Ah, alright. I've never been to India, so I wouldn't know. :P

/*shakes tiny fist*


I'm not saying they're all crazy. Obviously there are a LOT of people in India. But the papers have this stuff in them every day. And they murder their spouses in strange ways. I'm not kidding with the examples above. I've read those stories myself, among many others.

I'll never forget my introduction to India: Fly in at 5am, arrive at the hotel to get my paper, and be greeted by a full front page picture of a "terrorist" leader with a bullet hole between his eyes.
 
2013-01-09 07:01:54 AM  

SnakeLee: He only won $425,000 too.  I mean, that is a lot of money, but you're hardly set for life after it and if it was the wife, can she really run 3 dry cleaning businesses by herself?  This would make a lot more sense if he was abusive or something, but it really doesn't seem like he was.  Very odd


I thought they originally said he won $3 million? The very top prize on the ticket says $3 too.
 
2013-01-09 07:02:03 AM  

moothemagiccow: Also whenever I read a tragic lottery story, it always begins with them accepting the lump sum. I'm not saying there's a curse, but who the hell takes the lump sum?


The way I understand it, the lump sum amount is determined by a present-value calculation based on the amount won, the number of payments, the length of time, and an interest rate of zero. So someone who takes the lump sum and invests it should end up with more money than they actually won, assuming even a nominal investment return.

But, really, who am I kidding? Most people take the lump sum so they can blow the money that much faster. People who have the financial discipline to invest a big lottery win are not likely to buy lottery tickets in the first place.
 
2013-01-09 07:03:46 AM  

Cybernetic: People who have the financial discipline to invest a big lottery win are not likely to buy lottery tickets in the first place.


Interesting. Never thought of that, but you are probably on to something here.
 
2013-01-09 07:04:04 AM  

Psycat: In case anybody wants to know...

viricide = husband killing
uxoricide = wife killing

Unless you live on the South Mountain in Nova Scotia, where technically fratricide, parricide or sororicide are equally applicable.
Not that those folks speak much latin.
They're even unsure about English. Think about the nastiest, most inbred group in W. Virginia. Now put it a thousand miles north and a lot colder, and double the amount of inbreeding and you have the Golers.
 
2013-01-09 07:06:00 AM  

moothemagiccow: Also whenever I read a tragic lottery story, it always begins with them accepting the lump sum. I'm not saying there's a curse, but who the hell takes the lump sum?


I would.  The problem with the payments is that they can be suspended as everyone and their pet dog takes you to court.  With a lump sum they can try to take you to court anyway, but if you decide to flee to Elbonia you can take your money with you.
 
2013-01-09 07:06:26 AM  
Ooops...

mariticide = husband killing
 
2013-01-09 07:09:43 AM  

AbbeySomeone: A little too ironic.


Yeah, I really do think.
 
2013-01-09 07:12:41 AM  

JonnyG: Cybernetic: People who have the financial discipline to invest a big lottery win are not likely to buy lottery tickets in the first place.

Interesting. Never thought of that, but you are probably on to something here.


It's well known that the vast majority of lottery winners blow their money in a few years. If I remember right, it's something like 9 out of 10 end up broke. It just takes those who win the big lotteries a little longer to blow their winnings.
 
2013-01-09 07:15:00 AM  

cynicalbastard: Psycat: In case anybody wants to know...

viricide = husband killing
uxoricide = wife killing
Unless you live on the South Mountain in Nova Scotia, where technically fratricide, parricide or sororicide are equally applicable.
Not that those folks speak much latin.
They're even unsure about English. Think about the nastiest, most inbred group in W. Virginia. Now put it a thousand miles north and a lot colder, and double the amount of inbreeding and you have the Golers.


I am unaware of this clan even existing any longer. Were they not completely split up decades ago?

And yes, that was an awful, awful story.

/NS'n
 
2013-01-09 07:21:22 AM  

Triumph: Cui bono


theopolitical.files.wordpress.com

/and it's spelled "cue", by the way
 
2013-01-09 07:23:48 AM  
Ansari said her husband did not have a will and the money is now tied up in probate.

And that's why you wait until AFTER they collect the money to kill them. C'mon, that's day 1 stuff right there.
 
2013-01-09 07:24:14 AM  

moothemagiccow: The sad part is someone had to prod the coroner to find the damned poison. Came back clean the first time. If you dont properly autopsy a recent lottery winner, who warrants a thorough examination?


They don't have the resources to do a full toxicology screen on every deceased person, and as was reported previously they don't usually check for cyanide because it's so obvious no one uses it anymore. Doing a homicide investigation and autopsy are even more out of the question. It probably seemed like this middle aged guy had a sudden heart attack brought on by the stress of winning the lotto. What would be interesting to hear is did the wife call 911, who responded, what did they report, etc.

Not saying it's right or no one screwed up, but stuff is expensive and you're talking about a city that doesn't even fix giant potholes in a timely manner and had over 500 people die of lead poisoning last year.
 
2013-01-09 07:24:46 AM  

cynicalbastard: Psycat: In case anybody wants to know...

viricide = husband killing
uxoricide = wife killing
Unless you live on the South Mountain in Nova Scotia, where technically fratricide, parricide or sororicide are equally applicable.
Not that those folks speak much latin.
They're even unsure about English. Think about the nastiest, most inbred group in W. Virginia. Now put it a thousand miles north and a lot colder, and double the amount of inbreeding and you have the Golers.


Favorited as New Scotland blue. I never realized there were so many of us on fark. Suck it New Brunswick!
 
2013-01-09 07:24:59 AM  

JonnyG: I'll never forget my introduction to India: Fly in at 5am, arrive at the hotel to get my paper, and be greeted by a full front page picture of a "terrorist" leader with a bullet hole between his eyes.


I suppose this is as good a place to ask as any, since you seem to be pretty knowledgeable about the country: What's with the high rate of bizarre birth defects? Even China doesn't seem to have as many eight-limbed kids as India does. Is it related to river pollution, inbreeding, the sheer population of the place, or what?

/Sorry for the threadjack.
//There aren't many Farkers who've been to India.
 
2013-01-09 07:29:29 AM  

SlothB77: it is suspicious when you both have the same dish for dinner but one plate has poison in it in the other plate doesn't


They were both poisoned. She spent the last few years building up an immunity to cyanide powder.But unfortunately she fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous of which is "never get involved in a land war in Asia" and "Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line", but only slightly less well-known is that "you don't kill your husband BEFORE he collects his lottery winnings."
 
2013-01-09 07:33:29 AM  
viricide = husband killing
uxoricide = wife killing
mariticide = husband killing
South Mountain in Nova Scotia = fratricide
or
South Mountain in Nova Scotia = parricide
or
South Mountain in Nova Scotia = sororicide
West Rogers Park Chicago = Northside
 
2013-01-09 07:33:35 AM  

ordinarysteve: cynicalbastard: Psycat: In case anybody wants to know...

viricide = husband killing
uxoricide = wife killing
Unless you live on the South Mountain in Nova Scotia, where technically fratricide, parricide or sororicide are equally applicable.
Not that those folks speak much latin.
They're even unsure about English. Think about the nastiest, most inbred group in W. Virginia. Now put it a thousand miles north and a lot colder, and double the amount of inbreeding and you have the Golers.

Favorited as New Scotland blue. I never realized there were so many of us on fark. Suck it New Brunswick!


ditto!
 
2013-01-09 07:34:22 AM  

MythDragon: SlothB77: it is suspicious when you both have the same dish for dinner but one plate has poison in it in the other plate doesn't

They were both poisoned. She spent the last few years building up an immunity to cyanide powder.But unfortunately she fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous of which is "never get involved in a land war in Asia" and "Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line", but only slightly less well-known is that "you don't kill your husband BEFORE he collects his lottery winnings."


I would think that she was legally entitled to it because she was his wife.
 
2013-01-09 07:36:04 AM  

AbbeySomeone: I would think that she was legally entitled to it because she was his wife.


Not if she killed him!
 
2013-01-09 07:36:49 AM  
static.tvfanatic.com
 
2013-01-09 07:47:15 AM  

Fluorescent Testicle: I suppose this is as good a place to ask as any, since you seem to be pretty knowledgeable about the country: What's with the high rate of bizarre birth defects? Even China doesn't seem to have as many eight-limbed kids as India does. Is it related to river pollution, inbreeding, the sheer population of the place, or what?


India is infamous for making up shiat.  Not sure if it's deserved or not; this could just be an issue of international news getting hoodwinked.  The multi-armed baby could be real but is famous because of Vishnu; that's just the Hindi version of finding Jesus on your breakfast toast.  Every country has its religious kooks and because a number of gods in Hinduism have more than two arms, that type of defect will be more publicized than others.
 
2013-01-09 07:51:32 AM  

EvilEgg: Who keeps that in their kitchen? Iocane powder, is what I use.


Ha! I've spent the past 25 years developing a tolerance to Iocane powder!
 
2013-01-09 07:56:57 AM  

dragonchild: Fluorescent Testicle: I suppose this is as good a place to ask as any, since you seem to be pretty knowledgeable about the country: What's with the high rate of bizarre birth defects? Even China doesn't seem to have as many eight-limbed kids as India does. Is it related to river pollution, inbreeding, the sheer population of the place, or what?

India is infamous for making up shiat.  Not sure if it's deserved or not; this could just be an issue of international news getting hoodwinked.  The multi-armed baby could be real but is famous because of Vishnu; that's just the Hindi version of finding Jesus on your breakfast toast.  Every country has its religious kooks and because a number of gods in Hinduism have more than two arms, that type of defect will be more publicized than others.


Ask anyone who's been on a conference call with South Asian engineers or project managers.

Oh yes this was performed exactly as expected, our engineering team encountered no difficulty whatsoever and is on time completely.
 
2013-01-09 08:02:37 AM  
I was going to make some snark - but ya'll have made such quality contributions, mine would pale in comparison...

Excellent yorb folks !
 
2013-01-09 08:04:13 AM  

Generation_D: Ask anyone who's been on a conference call with South Asian engineers or project managers. Oh yes this was performed exactly as expected, our engineering team encountered no difficulty whatsoever and is on time completely.


Right, because I've never heard that sort of BS from American contractors.

Bear in mind that when U.S. firms outsource, they outsource primarily to reduce cost.  They're not interested in India's best, or the best anywhere for that matter.  They're interested in exploiting the cheapest design sweatshop the world has to offer.  With that sort of agenda I really don't think it matters in which country the work is done.  India isn't the problem here.

It's almost like top talent demands a premium and cheap labor is incompetent wherever you go.  Zounds, don't tell management; they may get the vapors!

/ don't call me Zounds
 
2013-01-09 08:24:01 AM  

bump: I was going to make some snark - but ya'll have made such quality contributions, mine would pale in comparison...


If they had kids than she could divorce as she already hit the child support lotto. Pays far more than the $100,000 powerball, it's tax free and even offers free baby sitting on the weekends!

/snark off
 
2013-01-09 08:27:12 AM  

Psycat: Danny Kaye's Words of Advice:

[content.internetvideoarchive.com image 320x240]

"The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle; the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true!"


When is the dragon in the flagon?
 
2013-01-09 08:44:12 AM  

abhorrent1: SnakeLee: He only won $425,000 too.  I mean, that is a lot of money, but you're hardly set for life after it and if it was the wife, can she really run 3 dry cleaning businesses by herself?  This would make a lot more sense if he was abusive or something, but it really doesn't seem like he was.  Very odd

I thought they originally said he won $3 million? The very top prize on the ticket says $3 too.


He didn't win the top prize. One of the "smaller" prizes was $1M.
 
2013-01-09 08:48:15 AM  

Fluorescent Testicle: JonnyG: I'll never forget my introduction to India: Fly in at 5am, arrive at the hotel to get my paper, and be greeted by a full front page picture of a "terrorist" leader with a bullet hole between his eyes.

I suppose this is as good a place to ask as any, since you seem to be pretty knowledgeable about the country: What's with the high rate of bizarre birth defects? Even China doesn't seem to have as many eight-limbed kids as India does. Is it related to river pollution, inbreeding, the sheer population of the place, or what?

/Sorry for the threadjack.
//There aren't many Farkers who've been to India.


If you could have but a glimpse of the garbage filled rivers and other drainage that run through the cities... If you could have but one whiff of that unbelievably overpowering stench that hits you like a ton of bricks the moment you step off the plane... If you could have been there the day I walked into an office full of unmasked workers painting the office building and fainted due to the overwhelming fumes... If you could have seen the countless other shocking health hazards... you wouldn't have had to ask this question. But since you did, I've tried to help paint a picture.

It was quite literally unbelievable to say the least.

Having said that, they were some of the nicest and most genuine people I have ever met. Prior to going to India, I'd never experienced being in a city where (Muslim?) prayer songs/chants are played over loud speakers several times a day, throughout the entire city. For some reason, it was very eerie, yet culturally fascinating.
 
2013-01-09 08:49:58 AM  
Cyanora Urooj, you'll be missed by all as you had no enemies
 
2013-01-09 08:58:00 AM  

ordinarysteve: cynicalbastard: Psycat: In case anybody wants to know...

viricide = husband killing
uxoricide = wife killing
Unless you live on the South Mountain in Nova Scotia, where technically fratricide, parricide or sororicide are equally applicable.
Not that those folks speak much latin.
They're even unsure about English. Think about the nastiest, most inbred group in W. Virginia. Now put it a thousand miles north and a lot colder, and double the amount of inbreeding and you have the Golers.

Favorited as New Scotland blue. I never realized there were so many of us on fark. Suck it New Brunswick!


Hey now, that's not fair. To the best of my knowledge I'm in a very tiny minority on fark. I think i've seen someone from Moncton once on here. I'm from Fredericton.
 
2013-01-09 08:58:17 AM  

moothemagiccow: Also whenever I read a tragic lottery story, it always begins with them accepting the lump sum. I'm not saying there's a curse, but who the hell takes the lump sum?


Curse?! Pfffffttt! That's stupid; like people who belive in made up shiat like Candleja
 
2013-01-09 09:07:47 AM  

dopekitty74: ordinarysteve: cynicalbastard: Psycat: In case anybody wants to know...

viricide = husband killing
uxoricide = wife killing
Unless you live on the South Mountain in Nova Scotia, where technically fratricide, parricide or sororicide are equally applicable.
Not that those folks speak much latin.
They're even unsure about English. Think about the nastiest, most inbred group in W. Virginia. Now put it a thousand miles north and a lot colder, and double the amount of inbreeding and you have the Golers.

Favorited as New Scotland blue. I never realized there were so many of us on fark. Suck it New Brunswick!

Hey now, that's not fair. To the best of my knowledge I'm in a very tiny minority on fark. I think i've seen someone from Moncton once on here. I'm from Fredericton.


I think it's because most of you guys can't actually read.
/I keed, I keed. I went to university at UNB freddy
 
2013-01-09 09:16:14 AM  

JonnyG: cynicalbastard: Psycat: In case anybody wants to know...

viricide = husband killing
uxoricide = wife killing
Unless you live on the South Mountain in Nova Scotia, where technically fratricide, parricide or sororicide are equally applicable.
Not that those folks speak much latin.
They're even unsure about English. Think about the nastiest, most inbred group in W. Virginia. Now put it a thousand miles north and a lot colder, and double the amount of inbreeding and you have the Golers.

I am unaware of this clan even existing any longer. Were they not completely split up decades ago?

And yes, that was an awful, awful story.

/NS'n


They were split up. But there's some still up there, a few with changed names, and in what must be some of the worst cases of Stockholm going a few of the younger ones apparently moved back after being taken away by the courts.
 
2013-01-09 09:22:59 AM  
(Now just relax. For once, you didn't do anything wrong. Just explain yourself and everyone will understand.)
I...
Killed your husband? Yes, we know.
OK!

/Yea! Another trial by media and public opinion!
 
2013-01-09 09:30:14 AM  

Mister Peejay: moothemagiccow: Also whenever I read a tragic lottery story, it always begins with them accepting the lump sum. I'm not saying there's a curse, but who the hell takes the lump sum?

This.

Take the payments and then get loans if you have to. Always play with other people's money.


A few years ago I was talking with my investment guy (no, I dont have a fortune, just my 401k and some small stocks) he said that its better to take the lump sum and invest it. The returns over the 20 years is better than if you had the lottery system pay it out over that time frame.
 
2013-01-09 09:39:39 AM  

generallyso: moothemagiccow: I'm not saying there's a curse, but who the hell takes the lump sum?

Someone who would like to see the bulk of their winnings before age 60.


And understands the concept of "net present value'.

Short Lesson: a dollar in hand today is worth more than a dollar promised to be in hand tomorrow.
 
2013-01-09 09:44:05 AM  

Fluorescent Testicle: JonnyG: She's (They're) Indian? A relative asked for the autopsy? Yep, the wife did it.

Wait. I agree that she probably did it, but what does her being Indian have to do with anything?


Perhaps he died from a belly full of jackfruit...
 
2013-01-09 09:59:03 AM  

Hack Patooey: Mister Peejay: moothemagiccow: Also whenever I read a tragic lottery story, it always begins with them accepting the lump sum. I'm not saying there's a curse, but who the hell takes the lump sum?

This.

Take the payments and then get loans if you have to. Always play with other people's money.

A few years ago I was talking with my investment guy (no, I dont have a fortune, just my 401k and some small stocks) he said that its better to take the lump sum and invest it. The returns over the 20 years is better than if you had the lottery system pay it out over that time frame.


I used to think payments were the way to go but I found out that (don't know if US Lottery works the same but up here (canada)), if u take the payments & u die before all the payments are paid, u cannot will the payments to someone else. So if u are smoked by a car the next month, the $ stops. I'll be lump summing it if I ever get lucky & win.
 
2013-01-09 10:00:02 AM  

dragonchild: India is infamous for making up shiat. Not sure if it's deserved or not; this could just be an issue of international news getting hoodwinked. The multi-armed baby could be real but is famous because of Vishnu; that's just the Hindi version of finding Jesus on your breakfast toast. Every country has its religious kooks and because a number of gods in Hinduism have more than two arms, that type of defect will be more publicized than others.

Hindi

is the language, you're thinking of Hindu :)
 
2013-01-09 10:04:37 AM  
Well, poison is a woman's weapon so either it was the wife or a mistress that was told they weren't get anything. Then again how would they have poisoned dinner? So yeah, it was obviously the wife who thought that she would have gotten the money. Just because it didn't work out that way doesn't mean it wasn't the motive.
 
2013-01-09 10:11:04 AM  
Could someone enlighten me with the lump sum thing? It's always less (about 40% less) than the amount you won because...?

Whenever I read stories about lottery winners; it'll say Mr. Joe won $X million, he opted for lump sum and collected $X x 60%. Now reading this story, they take another chunk from taxes (33%ish) ... I understand taxes but why is lump sum less?

It feels like a typical Fark article title, Drug bust of $10 million street value, police have also caught the drug kingpin while he was counting his $5 million worth of drugs... and then the police put the $1 million of drugs into evidence.
 
2013-01-09 10:19:29 AM  

SnakeLee: He only won $425,000 too.  I mean, that is a lot of money, but you're hardly set for life after it and if it was the wife, can she really run 3 dry cleaning businesses by herself?  This would make a lot more sense if he was abusive or something, but it really doesn't seem like he was.  Very odd


No she can't run the three dry cleaners by herself, she'll probably have to sell them.

/me sees a pattern.
 
2013-01-09 10:23:13 AM  

MythDragon: SlothB77: it is suspicious when you both have the same dish for dinner but one plate has poison in it in the other plate doesn't

They were both poisoned. She spent the last few years building up an immunity to cyanide powder.But unfortunately she fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous of which is "never get involved in a land war in Asia" and "Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line", but only slightly less well-known is that "you don't kill your husband BEFORE he collects his lottery winnings."


Dude, you OWN this thread.
 
2013-01-09 10:53:11 AM  

moothemagiccow: but who the hell takes the lump sum?


People who don't have an expectation of surviving to see the final payment? Those who do not wish to burden their heirs with the tax burdens of annuity/market value evaluations? (i.e. courts are divided as to whether they should be valued as fair market value at time of death for Estate tax purposes, or as annuities that provide annual income - and still liable for Estate taxes in that event. It's a giant PITA.) Those who expect that they can earn a better rate of return than will be provided by the annuity? You know, people who actually plan ahead?

Or as you would imply: idiots.
 
2013-01-09 10:54:22 AM  
A strange game. The only winning move is not to play. How about a nice game of chess?
 
2013-01-09 11:02:21 AM  

AbbeySomeone: I would think that she was legally entitled to it because she was his wife.


Depends on whether or not he had a will.

(I may not have been the star of my class in Future Interests, but it sure changed the way I look at things!)

The Muthaship: Not if she killed him!


Citation needed. I think, given the history of western civilization, you may want to adjust the wording of that claim slightly.

Schwhat: Could someone enlighten me with the lump sum thing? It's always less (about 40% less) than the amount you won because...?


It interests me that you are unfamiliar with the concept of "interest".
 
2013-01-09 11:04:45 AM  
I saw his lotto 'mugshot' and thought

They killed John Lovitz?!"
 
2013-01-09 11:06:04 AM  
Ansari, 32, moved to the U.S. from India after marrying Khan 12 years ago.
Khan and his wife were born in Hyderabad, a city in southern India, and their story is a typical immigrant's tale of settling in a new land with big dreams and starting a business. Their daughter, Jasmeen, now 17, is a student here.


hmm the math doesn't really add up here.
 
2013-01-09 11:32:12 AM  

vudukungfu: Psycat: Danny Kaye's Words of Advice:

[content.internetvideoarchive.com image 320x240]

"The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle; the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true!"

When is the dragon in the flagon?


When the phallus from the palace squirts the goo that is true.
 
2013-01-09 12:22:33 PM  
www.carpenoctem.tv

Obligatory Belle Gunness upload.
 
2013-01-09 01:12:00 PM  
Whenever I read stories about lottery winners; it'll say Mr. Joe won $X million, he opted for lump sum and collected $X x 60%. Now reading this story, they take another chunk from taxes (33%ish) ... I understand taxes but why is lump sum less?

The lottery is paying out the same amount of money either way. If you take the payment plan, they put the money in an interest bearing account, and by the time the last payment is due, the other 40% has been earned through interest.

/article reminds me I have to make a new will.
 
2013-01-09 01:20:55 PM  
how did the "relative" know he was poisoned? who ends up with the money if she's convicted?

/lol @ illinois having to advertise winners to prove they actually pay out.
 
2013-01-09 01:32:50 PM  

SuperDuper28: Then again how would they have poisoned dinner?


More to the point, how did someone who was not there poison the dinner he ate, yet not the dinner she ate?
 
2013-01-09 02:05:16 PM  
Russel Peters really let himself go.
 
2013-01-09 02:38:28 PM  

Lenny_da_Hog: I was making Chinese food, and the recipe said, "Add rice in."


Huh, I thought that was the Japanese recipe.
 
2013-01-09 02:46:06 PM  
It's amzing how much went to the taxman.
 
2013-01-09 02:56:34 PM  

Haoie: It's amzing how much went to the taxman.


Before the mocking starts, can you tell us how much that was, exactly?
 
2013-01-09 03:44:50 PM  

Deucednuisance: Haoie: It's amzing how much went to the taxman.

Before the mocking starts, can you tell us how much that was, exactly?


$575,000
 
2013-01-09 03:46:47 PM  

stonicus: Deucednuisance: Haoie: It's amzing how much went to the taxman.

Before the mocking starts, can you tell us how much that was, exactly?

$575,000


FTFM

*punches self in face for skipping crucial step*
After lump sum, he had $600,000, was to get $425,000, so he paid $175,000 in taxes. $400,000 was taken off due to lump sum vs. annuity.
 
2013-01-09 03:55:09 PM  

stonicus: *punches self in face for skipping crucial step*


Well, it only took you two minutes, so I'll let it go without further mocking.
 
2013-01-09 05:30:32 PM  

MythDragon: SlothB77: it is suspicious when you both have the same dish for dinner but one plate has poison in it in the other plate doesn't

They were both poisoned. She spent the last few years building up an immunity to cyanide powder.But unfortunately she fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous of which is "never get involved in a land war in Asia" and "Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line", but only slightly less well-known is that "you don't kill your husband BEFORE he collects his lottery winnings."


I enjoyed that. Thank you.
 
2013-01-09 07:08:46 PM  
Wonder how many blowjobs she'll have to give to the police chief to make all the evidence vanish.

Also relevant: How to Spot a Liar
 
2013-01-10 09:01:33 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: fusillade762: Must have been suicide.

Obviously, he knew his life had peaked, and he was just going to waste all that lottery money and wind up broker than ever, so he took a massive dose of cyanide so he could go out on a high note.


A prophylactic poisoning.
 
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