Yay, we went national.

Investigators said 33-year-old Tracy Maddox was last seen around 3 p.m. on Friday, January 4th at the Boaz/Albertville Recycle Center.

I guess it wasn't the best Recycle Center in the universe.

Perfect Perfect Perfect.

He was serving time for outstanding fines, and decided to bolt from work release? He may not have thought this cunning plan through.

Berring Sea gold!

ekdikeo4: Looks like Kris Draper.

He does look like Kris Draper.

\hockey lockout hasn't been going well...

Albino Squid: He was serving time for outstanding fines, and decided to bolt from work release? He may not have thought this cunning plan through.

Came here to say ^this^. Do your time you idiot and STFU.

/rough looking 33.

Albino Squid: He was serving time for outstanding fines, and decided to bolt from work release? He may not have thought this cunning plan through.

"It's Monday and I don't want to go to work today.  Let's see..."

*cut to scene of devastation, sirens, people fleeing in all directions*

Holly shiat!

Albino Squid: He was serving time for outstanding fines, and decided to bolt from work release? He may not have thought this cunning plan through.

He just remembered that he left his car at a parking meter.

Beautiful headline.

Don't see Boaz in the news much. Half my family is from there. Used to own the RC Cola plant in town.

I don't throw this around often, but, LOL.

/ no, really. I actually laughed out loud.

Albino Squid: He was serving time for outstanding fines, and decided to bolt from work release? He may not have thought this cunning plan through.

Yeah he is as sharp as a bowling ball. Hell he was probably only going to do 3 - 6 months. Now tack on an extra year. The only way I would run if I was in for life.

What a Chuck-Homer love child might look like:

Headline delivers.

When I saw dudes picture that was the first thing to come to mind. The headline practically wrote itself. Thanks!


/ Subby

heavymetal: When I saw dude,s picture, that was the first thing to come to mind. The headline practically wrote itself. Thanks!


/ Subby

FTFM

D'oh!

Hahahahaha

heavymetal: heavymetal: When I saw dude's picture, that was the first thing to come to mind. The headline practically wrote itself. Thanks!


/ Subby

FTFM

/ Now I think I fixed it, Doh!

Blues_X: Holy damn, you aren't lying.

Simpson in my Norris? It's more likely than you think.

You sure that's not just Adam Savage's brother?

Subby, you magnificent bastard.

ekdikeo4: Looks like Kris Draper.

Great, now I fill forever think that Draper looks like a cross between Chuck Norris and Homer Simpson.

/Holy Mackerel!

Albino Squid: He was serving time for outstanding fines, and decided to bolt from work release? He may not have thought this cunning plan through.

They can throw you in jail for unpaid traffic tickets?

wait wait, this guy was in debtor's prison? Are there not laws against this? Poor guy, I'd bounce too, maybe find better opportunity in Mexico.

33-year-old Tracy Maddox

Maddox is an bigger jerk than we originally thought. Ding ding.

Reminds me of this one:

Mythbusters' Adam Savage has apparently figured out a way to transform himself into a 12-year-old girl in order to compete in spelling bees

(Pic of girl in question in link.)

I'd +1 ya if I could, Subs. That is truly the most honest headline I have read in a while.

That being said, the guy is an idiot. He is serving time for outstanding fines. He is going to have to serve time for disappearing, not to mention this is probably worse in terms of an outstanding crime than the fines. Moron.

/oh well, he is obviously not too bright anyway, having to serve time for unpaid fines... pay your bills, people

In addition, they recommend the Man charged with raping underage girl.

Something about that phrasing just seems a little off, don't you think?

Apos: socalnewwaver: submitter, that was absolutely brilliant. and honest. +1

Yes indeed.

Thirded and then some...

Well played.

He will fail to kick your ass (Simpson gene) but you will lose anyway (Norris gene).