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(Slate)   Dear Prudence, How do I explain to my mixed race child that I'm a lying cheating slut?   (slate.com) divider line 435
    More: Obvious, Prudi, stomach virus, age appropriate  
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27096 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Jan 2013 at 1:55 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-08 07:47:43 PM

cig-mkr: Son, shiat happens to stupid sluts, and your dad is a spineless pussy.


cig-mkr: Son, shiat happens to stupid sluts, and your dad is a spineless pussy.


cig-mkr: Son, shiat happens to stupid sluts, and your dad is a spineless pussy.


cig-mkr: Son, shiat happens to stupid sluts, and your dad is a spineless pussy.


cig-mkr: Son, shiat happens to stupid sluts, and your dad is a spineless pussy.


cig-mkr: Son, shiat happens to stupid sluts, and your dad is a spineless pussy.


cig-mkr: Son, shiat happens to stupid sluts, and your dad is a spineless pussy.


cig-mkr: Son, shiat happens to stupid sluts, and your dad is a spineless pussy.

v
 
2013-01-08 07:49:30 PM

The Quaalude Renaissance: My experience with lies and parents etc.

So I have just recovered from an automobile accident, and my best friend was mauled by my dog. My girlfriend is great, so great that whoever runs this game decided to get us pregnant. As best we could figure sperm and egg decided to do their thing on or around April 15. I remember the day she thought she was and we should check. We went into a drugstore and bought 2 tests. We went to my 'sister's' house so my GF and I could take the tests. First test: yup. Second test: you've just changed your life Dad! I remember my soon to be shaking the test as if that would change the result. She was 18, I was 23. We got married in a mid-summer day in July under the stifling DC heat and humidity. Wedding was all bliss, everyone seemed relaxed and happy. Even her father who was pushing her to decide to abort a few months prior put aside whatever he may have felt and decided to relax. I did too. I was able to forget about the letter from time to time. Every time I thought of it though, a cold shiver would run up my spine and I would try to shut it all out of my head. It would burn right through wherever I would shove the thought in my head and remind me to think about it all.

It was three days before our wedding when the letter came. I walked down to my parent's driveway to get the mail, a walk I have done hundreds of times before. On that day though the walk down seemed normal, but by the time it would take me to turn on my heels to do the walk back, something broke and broke very hard. And the way I understood the constructs of what my identity was no longer stood true
.
I opened the mailbox to see a letter addressed to me. I was thinking it was an early wedding gift. Odd it had no return address. The postmark was from a zip code about 10 minutes from my parents house. The sad thing was that it truly was in a plain brown wrapper. I flipped it over and ripped it open. Nothing big, just a piece of paper. I read it. I did not believe it at ...


images3.wikia.nocookie.net

Then I threw the flat screen television that I had just purchased for my "mother" out of the window, and stormed out of the house.

/Sorry, couldn't resist.
 
2013-01-08 07:54:54 PM

The Quaalude Renaissance: My experience with lies and parents etc.

So I have just recovered from an automobile accident, and my best friend was mauled by my dog. My girlfriend is great, so great that whoever runs this game decided to get us pregnant. As best we could figure sperm and egg decided to do their thing on or around April 15. I remember the day she thought she was and we should check. We went into a drugstore and bought 2 tests. We went to my 'sister's' house so my GF and I could take the tests. First test: yup. Second test: you've just changed your life Dad! I remember my soon to be shaking the test as if that would change the result. She was 18, I was 23. We got married in a mid-summer day in July under the stifling DC heat and humidity. Wedding was all bliss, everyone seemed relaxed and happy. Even her father who was pushing her to decide to abort a few months prior put aside whatever he may have felt and decided to relax. I did too. I was able to forget about the letter from time to time. Every time I thought of it though, a cold shiver would run up my spine and I would try to shut it all out of my head. It would burn right through wherever I would shove the thought in my head and remind me to think about it all.

It was three days before our wedding when the letter came. I walked down to my parent's driveway to get the mail, a walk I have done hundreds of times before. On that day though the walk down seemed normal, but by the time it would take me to turn on my heels to do the walk back, something broke and broke very hard. And the way I understood the constructs of what my identity was no longer stood true
.
I opened the mailbox to see a letter addressed to me. I was thinking it was an early wedding gift. Odd it had no return address. The postmark was from a zip code about 10 minutes from my parents house. The sad thing was that it truly was in a plain brown wrapper. I flipped it over and ripped it open. Nothing big, just a piece of paper. I read it. I did not believe it at first, but then I thought about it all in an instant many things became clear. It was true. I knew it. The letter read, and I can still recall every word even though I only read that letter about three times: Dear Matthew. It is very hard for me to tell you this, but your real mother is your sister Mary. That is it. That is all it said. That is all it took in reality for me to know that it was true.

My 'mom' was in the kitchen. She was doing something like looking in a cabinet. I asked her about the letter. She looked shocked. Like that was the last thing she ever expected me to say. I could have told her I had liver cancer and had only 3 days to live and she would have looked less shocked. She said it was not true, and snatched the letter from me. I didn't care, I had already got the gist of it, and sweet Jesus what a mindfark. I went and asked my 'sister' and she got really quiet. Said nothing. Now my 'sister' who was really my mother was/is a pathological liar normally, she would have snowed me with snow bullshiat excuse, so she not saying anything was confirmation for me. It was a big deal, the house went into crisis mode. My 'dad' came home from work, and basically told me to keep on living as I thought. The past made no difference. The casual way he suggested to throw it all to the wind seemed surreal. I could not even look at my 'sister' with out feeling creeped out. Having the wedding thing, was the ultimate diversion from the aftermath of the letter. It was easier to just let that steer you. I would have thoughts about that letter, and my thoughts would skip like a badly scratched CD. And I would feel this wet blanket of truth wrap around me and smother me, but would give me just enough air to take it all in again and again. It seemed everyone was in on the lie but me.

Suddenly, everything started to make sense. If you think of the movie Angel Heart, when Mickey Rourke(sp?) puts all the horrible pieces together, that is how i felt. I know I am sounding a bit melodramatic, but that is indeed the way I saw it. In horrible flashes where I was the only one who didn't understand the punchline, while everyone else is in hysterics. Never saw any pictures of mom pregnant. When asked mom details of what she felt like when she was pregnant with me she would become evasive.
Why don't I look like a real Filipino? I had more European features than anyone else in my family. It explained why I was 6'2" when none of my parents hit over 5'6". It also explained why my 'dad' called me 'Jew Boy'. Thoughts like those would pop into my head at will.

I think it was that whole mess that let me appreciate and discover that opiates do a great job of softening the blow of psychic pain. The fact of my past also led me to think that the world owed me something. I, however learned that when you think the world owes you something, the hard fact is that you got nothing coming.


Thank you for sharing your story, families can do some weird things to cover up what they believe are shameful moments.

I hope you have grown to forgive them as you now have a family of your own.
 
2013-01-08 07:55:00 PM
meh, 'mommy's got hot pants, kid, and humans are just animals anyway.'
 
2013-01-08 08:01:23 PM
You know what they say: "Once you go black, you automatically become a whore and lose the respect of all civilized people."
 
2013-01-08 08:03:30 PM
Anybody read about Quinten Tarantino's childhood? His mom was a slut. She slutted around while he was little boy. She farked Wilt Chamberlin. But he turned out normal.

The most humane thing is once you have children, love them, protect them and don't do any thing to damage them.
 
2013-01-08 08:03:54 PM
cdn.motinetwork.net
 
2013-01-08 08:04:19 PM
Interracial sex RULES!!!
 
2013-01-08 08:05:37 PM
Mag,

I'm sorry, I should have mentioned that what you read was just an excerpt from a longer piece, and in context the reference to opiates was more germane. That happened in 1991.

It is no longer a big deal, but for many years it was. I do love them both, and all is fine now. Getting there was along walk.

The sister is your mother thing happened to these cats too:
Bobby Darin
Jack Nicholson (he found by reading an article about himself, the journalist dug it up)
Ted Bundy
 
2013-01-08 08:06:37 PM

Vectron: Anybody read about Quinten Tarantino's childhood? His mom was a slut. She slutted around while he was little boy. She farked Wilt Chamberlin. But he turned out normal.

The most humane thing is once you have children, love them, protect them and don't do any thing to damage them.


These words do not belong in the same national library, let alone in a single paragraph in a single post in a fark thread.
 
2013-01-08 08:07:24 PM

DROxINxTHExWIND: But, how much of a hypocrite do you have to be to pontificate about absentee fathers in other threads and then to come in here and complain that this guy didn't run crying into the woods when he found out his wife was a cheater.



HE'S NOT THE FATHER
 
2013-01-08 08:08:16 PM

Riotboy: Interracial sex RULES!!!


Rule 1: get two people of different races
 
2013-01-08 08:10:54 PM

The Quaalude Renaissance: Mag,

I'm sorry, I should have mentioned that what you read was just an excerpt from a longer piece, and in context the reference to opiates was more germane. That happened in 1991.

It is no longer a big deal, but for many years it was. I do love them both, and all is fine now. Getting there was along walk.

The sister is your mother thing happened to these cats too:
Bobby Darin
Jack Nicholson (he found by reading an article about himself, the journalist dug it up)
Ted Bundy


Glad you've come to terms with it man. Thanks for sharing.
 
2013-01-08 08:11:38 PM

WhyKnot: Riotboy: Interracial sex RULES!!!

Rule 1: get two people of different races


Isn't this the second time in this thread you did something really clever?
 
2013-01-08 08:14:08 PM
How much money can you make selling these t shirts?

rlv.zcache.com
 
2013-01-08 08:18:45 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-01-08 08:22:32 PM

DROxINxTHExWIND: Men do what they want and suckers do what they can. If you live life as a slave to the expectations of others, you're a sucker.



Is that what they teach you where you are from?

No word about what is actually right or wrong? You don't think you need to act right in a civilized society? Just farking take what you want?

Think we see part of the problem here.
 
2013-01-08 08:23:02 PM
i like it interracial. intergalactic. innertubing?

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-08 08:25:42 PM

Vectron: WhyKnot: Riotboy: Interracial sex RULES!!!

Rule 1: get two people of different races

Isn't this the second time in this thread you did something really clever?


*looks around nervously*
 
2013-01-08 08:36:20 PM

inner ted: feffer: inner ted: and double lulz if you have a law degree and are just a freaking legal assistant

Oh sweetie. :( Does it hurt to be so dumb? Try googling "Legal Aid".

it's ok sugar, i'm well familiar with what a legal aid is

what part of the grown ups talking confused you?


NOT "a" legal aide, "LEGAL AID" the entity you nitwit. It's an organization of lawyers who are either subsidized or paid for fully by the government/courts. It's lawyers for poor people, and before you get accepted as a client, there's an intake process to see if you qualify.
 
2013-01-08 08:43:59 PM

Vectron: Its not about insecurity as you might think. Many white men see it as something "unclean" when a white woman has sex with a black man. A degradation. I can't explain it but ....there you go.
That might explain all the black on white cuckold videos. There is a fascination yet a revulsion at the same time. I'm not saying it's right, just the way it is.


I can explain it: racism.

The Quaalude Renaissance: My experience with lies and parents etc.


My brother spent most of his childhood unaware his sister was really his mother too. Found the adoption papers when he was 14. Stuff like this always comes out in the end.
 
2013-01-08 08:46:38 PM
upload.wikimedia.org

/Happy 90th birthday
//Wife probably wrote the letter
 
2013-01-08 08:52:23 PM

Lord Dimwit: Just out of curiosity, is infidelity of a spouse useful in custody hearings? Like, showing that someone is an unfit parent? 'Cause if so, I would think divorce would be the best option here.

No. The only thing thing useful in a custody hearing is having a vagina.
 
2013-01-08 08:53:39 PM

Grave_Girl: Vectron: Its not about insecurity as you might think. Many white men see it as something "unclean" when a white woman has sex with a black man. A degradation. I can't explain it but ....there you go.
That might explain all the black on white cuckold videos. There is a fascination yet a revulsion at the same time. I'm not saying it's right, just the way it is.

I can explain it: racism. The Quaalude Renaissance: My experience with lies and parents etc.

My brother spent most of his childhood unaware his sister was really his mother too. Found the adoption papers when he was 14. Stuff like this always comes out in the end.


GG
I have come to learn that the sister as mom thing happens a lot more than you would think...
In Filipino culture, it is sort of endemic.
 
2013-01-08 08:54:15 PM
Link

Vectron: ongbok: SuperNinjaToad: Koalaesq: I wonder if the second kid's father is at all in the picture. Wait until he suddenly decides to come seeking custody or visitation rights of the kid; that'll really be confusing to the first kid.

LOL, dude.. seriously when was the last time you see a black dude seeking custody or visitation rights to his bastard child?

Um, like recently?
Link

 
2013-01-08 08:59:04 PM

Cer10Death: YEAH!! TWO CHRISTMASES!


Kwanza for the one.
 
2013-01-08 09:01:25 PM

CuttySupreme: [cdn.motinetwork.net image 640x548]


is that one dude farking the other dudes knee?
 
2013-01-08 09:17:32 PM

DROxINxTHExWIND: You look down at the UNWED who have children



Ooo somebody hit a nerve. Why you got a boner for unwed shiat? I'll tell you why.

Yo mamma an unwed mother, right? Yo daddy never there? Is that why you are supposedly trying to be a real father, but at the same time denying that shiat always happens, and defending these absentee baby daddies like you was one of them?
 
2013-01-08 09:19:12 PM
Well that was a little personal...
 
2013-01-08 09:41:51 PM
What do you call a half hispanic half black gospel singer?

Latina Turner.
 
2013-01-08 09:43:08 PM

lennavan: DROxINxTHExWIND: Pfffft. I bet your ass thought you said something real slick when you posted that.

Says the guy discussing unwed people when the article we are all commenting on is about a married chick?


His point is that a jillion people in this thread were encouraging the husband to turn the couple into unwed parents, ie. to break up the marriage, but when the discussion turned more towards race unwed parents were suddenly a big problem. His point is, "Which is it, Fark?"
 
2013-01-08 09:45:53 PM

WeenerGord: DROxINxTHExWIND: But, how much of a hypocrite do you have to be to pontificate about absentee fathers in other threads and then to come in here and complain that this guy didn't run crying into the woods when he found out his wife was a cheater.


HE'S NOT THE FATHER


He sure as hell is the father of one of the kids, which means if he leaves his wife he's an absentee father.
 
2013-01-08 10:17:29 PM

kvinesknows: Vectron: [weknowmemes.com image 420x307]

what uh... is wrong with that password?


That's the kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage.
 
2013-01-08 10:23:28 PM

shoegaze99: He sure as hell is the father of one of the kids



He might have thought he was, but maybe he's not the father of the son, either.

Maybe the slut was just more obvious the second time.
 
2013-01-08 10:32:23 PM

ordinarysteve: Gunther: DROxINxTHExWIND: In other news, I'm starting to see what folks are saying about Farkers and their female bashing. Maybe I just never paid it much attention before, but you all sound like a bunch of scorned females. The anger directed at this woman seems to be coming from a very personal place in some cases.

/the racism in this thread is actually more troubling than the sexism.
//seriously, why does the race of the other guy make it worse?

Because a good portion of farkers seem to be old school racists. Not funny, un-PC, ethnic jokes racist but mean, hateful racist. Seriously, the things I read in the Trayvon threads caused a small part of my humanity to die.


Yeah, I'm not sure why I opened this thread. I swore off reading race or gender threads a while ago. My excuse today is that I'm sick in bed and was bored. My major conciliation is that most of these people probably got the women they deserved.
 
2013-01-08 10:34:59 PM

Vectron: [weknowmemes.com image 420x307]


How did you know my FARK password?
 
2013-01-08 11:15:04 PM
Getting a huge LOL out of this thread. Like it would really be any better if the other man were white. Like she's really truly ruined life for both of her children forever and a man who is obviously ok enough to stay. Oh yeah and I'm sure the guy who stayed is totally a spineless pussy, totally. For the record, in total seriousness, if I saw a couple with a white baby and a mixed race baby, I would first think of adoption or IVF before an affair. But then, I don't have a problem with mixed race babies nor do I automatically assume that their lives are ruined because their mother is a whore and their father is a dead beat named Tyrone.

I'm normal.
 
2013-01-09 12:10:55 AM

shoegaze99: lennavan: DROxINxTHExWIND: Pfffft. I bet your ass thought you said something real slick when you posted that.

Says the guy discussing unwed people when the article we are all commenting on is about a married chick?

His point is that a jillion people in this thread were encouraging the husband to turn the couple into unwed parents, ie. to break up the marriage, but when the discussion turned more towards race unwed parents were suddenly a big problem. His point is, "Which is it, Fark?"



Now who said she would have to be an unwed mother if the husband kicked her out?

What about the black father of her daughter? He should marry her and support his daughter, shouldn't he? Why, everyone is saying that black men often want to support and pursue visitation and be great dads, and he could be the CEO of American Express even, so why don't she go back to him and have him take care of her and his daughter? I'm sure he wants to, right?

Right?
 
2013-01-09 02:32:13 AM

Cer10Death: My wife would be out of my house like a heard of turds...


Yeah, I've heard of turds. You shiat outside your house?
 
2013-01-09 02:52:52 AM

iheartscotch: miss diminutive: Candygram.

Candygram for mongo?


Don't drag me into this. I didn't fark her.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go see why this shark keeps knocking on my door.
 
2013-01-09 06:55:06 AM

WeenerGord: shoegaze99: lennavan: DROxINxTHExWIND: Pfffft. I bet your ass thought you said something real slick when you posted that.

Says the guy discussing unwed people when the article we are all commenting on is about a married chick?

His point is that a jillion people in this thread were encouraging the husband to turn the couple into unwed parents, ie. to break up the marriage, but when the discussion turned more towards race unwed parents were suddenly a big problem. His point is, "Which is it, Fark?"


Now who said she would have to be an unwed mother if the husband kicked her out?

What about the black father of her daughter? He should marry her and support his daughter, shouldn't he? Why, everyone is saying that black men often want to support and pursue visitation and be great dads, and he could be the CEO of American Express even, so why don't she go back to him and have him take care of her and his daughter? I'm sure he wants to, right?

Right?


Well even if he was "white and right" why the hell would she expect a one night stand of any race to step up when he doesn't even know about the kid? It's a one night stand for a reason. Have you ever had one? Well if you haven't, the goal is to never see each other again after doing filthy, forbidden things to each other. They were both idiots to not use protection (or perhaps they fell into the 1% or so failure group), first off. But the burden is on her to track him down. As far as he knows, it's business as usual. When he finds out, that's when he can step up or not. This isn't a race thing as much as you want to make it, it's a one night stand thing. Her husband obviously knows, so her best bet is to tell the kid where she came from as early as possible. The longer she tries to keep an obvious secret, the worse the kid's going to hate her when she's older.
 
2013-01-09 08:10:16 AM

lennavan: Koalaesq: Another recent-ish NJ case had this fantastic turn of events: A father was getting a divorce from the mother. In NJ, you have to pay for child support through college. Mom applied for child support, and dad brought that up that he knew the kid wasn't even his, and refused to pay child support. Dad tried to get a DNA test to prove it, but since he had basically sat on his rights for 18 years and it would not benefit the kid, the court refused to let him off the hook and said he had to pay for the kid's college and continue to be the putative father.

Seems just a NJ twist (the college bit instead of 18 years old) on a common theme. I've seen other cases similar, where essentially a father who acts as a father for a long time later finds out he is not, still has to continue paying support. It sucks, I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it but honestly, I think I agree with it. When you sign the birth certificate and agree you're the father, that's that. It's not the kid's fault the mother is a lying ho-bag.


I'm sure that people who commit fraud also have kids to support, but that doesn't mean the court should uphold the contracts based on that fraud.

If it's so important to the state that the kid should be cared for, then it is the responsibility of the state to pick up the tab.
 
MBK [TotalFark]
2013-01-09 09:48:19 AM
As a brown man who has sex with white women, this thread is pretty...disturbing.  And disgusting.
 
2013-01-09 09:56:34 AM

MBK: As a brown man who has sex with white women, this thread is pretty...disturbing.  And disgusting.


not enough white ho pics?
 
2013-01-09 10:02:55 AM

WeenerGord: Right?


You don't even bother to make an effort to hide your bigotry ... which I guess is commendable, in a weird way. At least people know what you are right up front.
 
2013-01-09 10:08:38 AM

HBK: inner ted: second - when i was at the local public defenders office, legal assistants / legal aids are the people that assist the attorney & investigator. they keep in contact with the client - schedule court appearances - you know, secretary type work.

if attorneys are now called "legal aids" - well it's news to me

so take a deep breath Francis

Are you a troll or are you really this pants shiattingly stupid?


is that your sad face?

i know attorneys have a massive ego, but the level of butt hurtiness over this is staggering

go stare at your law degree - i'm sure it'll make you feel better
 
2013-01-09 10:13:29 AM

jackieeeee: I don't remember who said it but 'mulatto'? Damn, I live in Alabama and do not hear people use that term.


Mulatto is not an epithet. It is a descriptive term which is sometimes replaced by epithets.

"Mulatto is a term used to refer to a person who is born from one white parent and one black parent, or more broadly, a person of mixed black and white ancestry."

You remind me of Michael Scott trying to come up with a non-offensive version of the word "Puerto Rican"
 
MBK [TotalFark]
2013-01-09 10:23:53 AM

Pangea: jackieeeee: I don't remember who said it but 'mulatto'? Damn, I live in Alabama and do not hear people use that term.

Mulatto is not an epithet. It is a descriptive term which is sometimes replaced by epithets.

"Mulatto is a term used to refer to a person who is born from one white parent and one black parent, or more broadly, a person of mixed black and white ancestry."

You remind me of Michael Scott trying to come up with a non-offensive version of the word "Puerto Rican"


"The term is not commonly used any more but is generally considered archaic because of its association with slavery, colonial and racial oppression; accepted modern terms include "mixed" and "biracial" "

You know, it is okay to stop using that word.  Nothing wrong with saying mixed or biracial.  And don't say "but it has historical meaning".  We aren't living in 1700s, or the 1800s, it is okay to use different words now.
 
2013-01-09 10:26:41 AM

Pangea: You remind me of Michael Scott trying to come up with a non-offensive version of the word "Puerto Rican"


HAHAHA!!!

People are joking here. If someone can't take a joke it may be because they aren't comfortable with their own racism.
 
2013-01-09 10:34:29 AM

dopekitty74: inner ted: feffer: inner ted: and double lulz if you have a law degree and are just a freaking legal assistant

Oh sweetie. :( Does it hurt to be so dumb? Try googling "Legal Aid".

it's ok sugar, i'm well familiar with what a legal aid is

what part of the grown ups talking confused you?

NOT "a" legal aide, "LEGAL AID" the entity you nitwit. It's an organization of lawyers who are either subsidized or paid for fully by the government/courts. It's lawyers for poor people, and before you get accepted as a client, there's an intake process to see if you qualify.


holy christ - you kids are precious.

sorry i hurt your lawyer pride by confusing you with someone as lowly as your assistant when one of you refers to yourself by the same title as that assistant.

didn't they teach you to speak clearly in law school? or was all that time just spent stroking your ego?

& thanks, but i'm aware of what indigent defense is
 
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