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(Slate)   Dear Prudence, How do I explain to my mixed race child that I'm a lying cheating slut?   (slate.com) divider line 435
    More: Obvious, Prudi, stomach virus, age appropriate  
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27095 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Jan 2013 at 1:55 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-08 02:27:06 PM
"Q. Enjoying More Than Just the Massage I enjoy massages a couple of times a year. The last one was performed by a male masseuse. He did a wonderful job; I was relaxed and all of the major problems in my lower back were improved. There was an unexpected added bonus though. Because he was male, I felt a little excited about being touched by someone other than my husband. Nothing sexual happened. It wasn't a Sex and the City moment. But I still got a little secret thrill from the experience. My next massage is coming up. Is it OK for me to request another male masseuse?"

LOLOLOLOL..

I found this MUCH better place for massages then we had used in the past. I scheduled a massage for my wife with one of the girls. She liked it better then the other places, they were far more professional.... THEN her birthday was coming up so I scheduled another massage.. but noticed that they had a guy on staff now. FBd him.. found out he was active outdoors.. about 15 years younger.. had the hair she likes.. so I never told her about it but scheduled the guy instead....
:) She was extremely shocked and then pleased because as a guy he was much stronger and able to dig into those nots in her shoulders.. Then.. even though she requested just the upper back.. he moved down.. LOL.. even moved her panties down to " reach lower on her back" exposing 1/2 her ass.

..so in short to the letter writer I answer... oh dear.. its pretty much expected for you to get some sort of thrill from it... so just go with the flow.. and if you really love hubby.. schedule him an appoitment with a female masseuse at the same place.. or better yet... ask him to come sit in the room with you.
 
2013-01-08 02:28:07 PM
Nuttier than squirrel turds.
 
2013-01-08 02:28:58 PM
www.startrek.com
 
2013-01-08 02:28:59 PM

Nurglitch: I know, through my own ex, a woman that has children by three different fathers. Encountering the family, I had thought that the eldest (in this case) was adopted, and was somewhat surprised to learn that her father had in fact been deported back to Jamaica. I had also thought that the father was merely annoyed by the older daughters wanting his attention while he was trying to relax. Ugh, I hate the Annapolis Valley.


uh...wait, WHAT??!!
 
2013-01-08 02:29:00 PM
biatch must be a god damn once-in-a-lifetime piece of ass for him to stick around and raise someone else's kid, let alone a mulatto one.
 
2013-01-08 02:29:07 PM

bob999: I've often assumed that Ms. Prudence makes these up. She sure gets some of the most improbable letters.


I used to think that about Dan Savage, until I got out more.
 
2013-01-08 02:29:13 PM
Hey lady, I have an idea for your husband's next birthday.

rlv.zcache.com
Wear it with pride, idiot.
 
2013-01-08 02:29:52 PM

lennavan: Koalaesq: lennavan: Koalaesq: When talking about custody of a child, the standard is always "best interest of the children." In this case, I would argue that having affairs doesnt' necessarily affect the child

Well, no affect other than it completely broke the family up, right? Parenting is about sacrifices and choosing what is in "the best interest of the child." I'm thinkin this lady needed to make a significantly better decision, perhaps at personal sacrifice.

Koalaesq: So generally, no, affairs don't impact custody decisions

You are picturing the custody decision as a single entity. Custody would be a single part of a larger divorce case. She cheated on him, so she's at fault, so she's going to be the one with the uphill battle. The stupidest thing a guy who just got cheated on can possibly do is move out. The court is going to give primary custody to whoever kept the house because that's in the best interest of the children. If he asks for it, odds are the guy who got cheated on is going to get it.

That's not how it works at all. It depends on if there's a contest or not about who gets the kid. 99% of the time, there's joint custody, I assume you're just talking about "residential custody", which has to do with who the kid lives with 51% of the time. In that case, affairs have nothing to do with it.

99% of the time you think there is joint custody? I'll admit, I don't actually know the statistics but I'm willing to read your citation on that one. Because I just don't buy it.

When I said primary custody, I meant primary physical custody and yes, that is exactly how it works. Whoever has the house is going to get primary physical custody. That's where the kid's bedroom is, that's where they have lived for a long time, that's where they have grown up. If you're going through a divorce and you want primary physical custody, don't move out. Affairs absolutely do have to do with which side gets the house. And whichever side gets the house is going ...


My citation is based on my own personal experience. In NJ there is caselaw saying that the Best Interests of the Child are for joint custody unless there is a distinct reason not to do so (one parent is crazy; restraining order in place, etc). It's the default in NJ, anyhow, and very, very hard to get around (I just did a case about it). I don't know about other states; this is the problem with arguing law, it's all very state-based.

As for the house thing, I agree that I tell my clients not to move out of the house b/c that can help them with custody, but it also depends who owns the house, if it's rented, or community property, etc. There are a lotta factors there.
 
2013-01-08 02:30:30 PM

Spanky McStupid: namegoeshere: This story would be better if they were fraternal twins of different races.

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 335x250]

[laughingsquid.com image 590x400]

[static.guim.co.uk image 460x276]

Say whut?


Gimme a nice side of the bottom row.

That being said, it looks like the guy on the left is partially black too - just lighter. Kinda like Jason Kidd.
 
2013-01-08 02:31:22 PM

Lord Dimwit: My wife and I have an understanding on this. Just about anything will be forgiven, but not infidelity. No second chances. Trust is absolutely necessary for a working marriage, and once trust is violated to that degree, it can probably never be regained.


I'd normally disagree (forgiveness is divine, and all that) but dang; actually having the kid and getting your hubby to raise it as his own, guilting him into staying with you with the "think of what's best for our son!" line? And not even allowing him the face-saving "she's adopted" excuse?

That is cold.
 
2013-01-08 02:31:50 PM
i.imgur.com

i.imgur.com
Just tell the kid it's daddy's fault.
 
2013-01-08 02:31:55 PM
"We were on a break."
 
2013-01-08 02:32:13 PM

Citrate1007:
Despite continuing weekly evidence to the contrary, I will continue to believe that the vast majority of men who think they are the biological fathers of their children really did provide the sperm.

At least one writer for Slate can see their own disconnect from reality.


Came to say this, I can't see anyone with a half a brain taking the advice of a person with this mentality.
 
2013-01-08 02:32:16 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: biatch must be a god damn once-in-a-lifetime piece of ass for him to stick around and raise someone else's kid, let alone a mulatto one.


Maybe he's just thinking that he doesn't want to punish the child for the mother's mistakes.

He's more forgiving than most, it would seem.
 
2013-01-08 02:32:23 PM
Dear Prudence always reminds me of Yahoo answers in the relationship category.
 
2013-01-08 02:34:31 PM

kvinesknows: I found this MUCH better place for massages then we had used in the past. I scheduled a massage for my wife with one of the girls. She liked it better then the other places, they were far more professional.... THEN her birthday was coming up so I scheduled another massage.. but noticed that they had a guy on staff now. FBd him.. found out he was active outdoors.. about 15 years younger.. had the hair she likes.. so I never told her about it but scheduled the guy instead....
:) She was extremely shocked and then pleased because as a guy he was much stronger and able to dig into those nots in her shoulders.. Then.. even though she requested just the upper back.. he moved down.. LOL.. even moved her panties down to " reach lower on her back" exposing 1/2 her ass.

..so in short to the letter writer I answer... oh dear.. its pretty much expected for you to get some sort of thrill from it... so just go with the flow.. and if you really love hubby.. schedule him an appoitment with a female masseuse at the same place.. or better yet... ask him to come sit in the room with you.


You sound like the husband referred to in the "dear prudence" article.
 
2013-01-08 02:37:13 PM
 
2013-01-08 02:37:13 PM

maggoo: kvinesknows: I found this MUCH better place for massages then we had used in the past. I scheduled a massage for my wife with one of the girls. She liked it better then the other places, they were far more professional.... THEN her birthday was coming up so I scheduled another massage.. but noticed that they had a guy on staff now. FBd him.. found out he was active outdoors.. about 15 years younger.. had the hair she likes.. so I never told her about it but scheduled the guy instead....
:) She was extremely shocked and then pleased because as a guy he was much stronger and able to dig into those nots in her shoulders.. Then.. even though she requested just the upper back.. he moved down.. LOL.. even moved her panties down to " reach lower on her back" exposing 1/2 her ass.

..so in short to the letter writer I answer... oh dear.. its pretty much expected for you to get some sort of thrill from it... so just go with the flow.. and if you really love hubby.. schedule him an appoitment with a female masseuse at the same place.. or better yet... ask him to come sit in the room with you.

You sound like the husband referred to in the "dear prudence" article.



umm ..which one?
 
2013-01-08 02:37:45 PM

Koalaesq: joint custody unless there is a distinct reason not to do so


And that reason is always an iteration of "because they are incapable of reaching decisions together." Such as the examples you gave.

Koalaesq: I don't know about other states; this is the problem with arguing law, it's all very state-based.


That is very true.

Koalaesq: As for the house thing, I agree that I tell my clients not to move out of the house b/c that can help them with custody, but it also depends who owns the house, if it's rented, or community property, etc. There are a lotta factors there.


Right, I was using the context of the article (married, so they both have claim to the house if they own it) and assuming all else equal. You're coming from a broader perspective. Anyway...
 
2013-01-08 02:37:55 PM
FFS, just tell the damn kid that his little sister had a different father, but Mommy and Daddy love *both* of the kids no matter what.

The child will encounter other kids with half-siblings, step-siblings, and adopted siblings.  It's not exactly rare these days.  All he needs to know is that they're a family.  Don't make those kids feel shame over a situation they had nothing to do with.
It's not the fault of the two kids.  Those kids need love and support.  The adults have to straighten up and get their shiat together.
 
2013-01-08 02:37:59 PM

Random Anonymous Blackmail: Dear Prudence always reminds me of Yahoo answers in the relationship category.


How mixed babby formed?
How mixed babby formed?
How slut become pragnent?
 
2013-01-08 02:38:28 PM

Koalaesq: factoryconnection: Crotchrocket Slim: Also, cattle prod to the mother in law for lying to the child... and for being a lame stereotype of a mother in law.

Isn't the mixed-race child technically adopted by the husband now? A similar but single-race situation like this happened in my friend group and the husband adopted the new kid. The wife was going through some serious alcohol problems when she left the husband and shacked up temporarily with the babydaddy, but the wife ended up returning to her husband and kids, got treatment, finished school and pulled her life together.

It can work, though that doesn't mean it will for TFA's giant whore.

There's something called the Putative Father doctrine that many (most?) states have that says any child born to a married man and woman automatically means the husband is considered the dad, even if the mom suspects or knows the child was born of cuckoldry. So depending on the state, yes, the husband may be deemed the actual father of the child.


That's where an Action to Establish Paternity comes in handy. If you're genetically not the father, and never adopted the child, the odds of you getting away without having to pay child support increase. The Court would then ask Mommy to give it the name of the real father, who would then be on the hook for child support.
 
2013-01-08 02:38:42 PM
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-08 02:38:43 PM

Koalaesq: factoryconnection: Crotchrocket Slim: Also, cattle prod to the mother in law for lying to the child... and for being a lame stereotype of a mother in law.

Isn't the mixed-race child technically adopted by the husband now? A similar but single-race situation like this happened in my friend group and the husband adopted the new kid. The wife was going through some serious alcohol problems when she left the husband and shacked up temporarily with the babydaddy, but the wife ended up returning to her husband and kids, got treatment, finished school and pulled her life together.

It can work, though that doesn't mean it will for TFA's giant whore.

There's something called the Putative Father doctrine that many (most?) states have that says any child born to a married man and woman automatically means the husband is considered the dad, even if the mom suspects or knows the child was born of cuckoldry. So depending on the state, yes, the husband may be deemed the actual father of the child.


It didn't mention whether or not the biological father is on the birth certificate or whether or not he signed away any legal rights or if he even knows about the kid. But any child born from a married couple the husband is the presumptive father. This being the case, he can't technically adopt this child because that child technically is his in the eyes of the law. For a current example Kim Kardashian's kid is presuptively Kris Humphries if they are still married when she gives birth


//got my Fark Law degree with a minor in air conditioning repair.
 
2013-01-08 02:39:23 PM

Koalaesq: I wonder if the second kid's father is at all in the picture. Wait until he suddenly decides to come seeking custody or visitation rights of the kid; that'll really be confusing to the first kid.


I'm betting he at least still stops by to drop a few more potential kids off in the pool...
/IF ya know what I mean.
 
2013-01-08 02:39:32 PM

Nurglitch: I know, through my own ex, a woman that has children by three different fathers. Encountering the family, I had thought that the eldest (in this case) was adopted, and was somewhat surprised to learn that her father had in fact been deported back to Jamaica. I had also thought that the father was merely annoyed by the older daughters wanting his attention while he was trying to relax. Ugh, I hate the Annapolis Valley.


I'm just glad your story didn't involve Golars running wild
 
2013-01-08 02:39:55 PM

Lord Dimwit: A family friend found out her husband was cheating on her when she got some STD from him. Found out later that he'd been cheating on her for years. She kicked him out of the house and was going to divorce him, but then decided that she couldn't handle four kids on her own and let him back in. Sucks all around (which is not to imply anything other than 100% of the guilt lies on the husband).


www.nerve.com
Hey, it happens.
 
2013-01-08 02:41:21 PM

The My Little Pony Killer: If you are unable to come up with the words to explain life to your child, perhaps that's a sign that you shouldn't be having any.


images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-01-08 02:42:23 PM
A finding that benefits the state's perceived financial interest is what the state will likely determine in court on family matters.
 
2013-01-08 02:43:50 PM

accelerus: I'd love to know if the REAL father of the black baby pays child support, or does anything even remotely needed to help pay for the kid.

It's obvious the woman is a lying cheating whore, she just had to go out and get some big black cack and was stupid enough to get knocked up.


The sad thing is the biggest dumb ass in the whole equation is the hubby for staying with her. I'd have taken my real daughter and told the whore and tyrone to live happily ever after in their crack shack.


Holy shiat. For all the information we have, this lady could have gone out to a nice establishment and picked up an attractive, successful black man and had a one-night stand with him. She may have never spoken to him again, he may not even know she had a child by him. We know nothing about him except the fact that this lady had sex with him at least once and that he's a black male.

And based on "black male", you deliver a rant in which he's a deatbeat father named Tyrone who smokes crack and lives in squalor. Frankly I'm just surprised you didn't start off your post with, "Im not a racist, but..."
 
2013-01-08 02:44:00 PM
"Because Mummy likes strange."
 
2013-01-08 02:44:34 PM

Koalaesq: any child born to a married man and woman automatically means the husband is considered the dad, even if the mom suspects or knows the child was born of cuckoldry. So depending on the state, yes, the husband may be deemed the actual father of the child.


We have that here in IL. If the mom knows he is not the father, like in this article, the father has two possible ways to protest. One is for him and the mother to both sign a denial of paternity form where they voluntarily agree he is not the father, the other is to get a DNA test.
 
2013-01-08 02:45:21 PM

Karac: I certainly hope the white guy looked into the laws in his state, and didn't sign his name to the birth certificate. Otherwise it's gonna suck when he finally gets his balls back, divorces her, but then finds out he's still on the hook for the other guy's child support.


Too late as a court will say he was acting as the father, he is the father.
 
2013-01-08 02:45:31 PM

cig-mkr: Son, shiat happens to stupid sluts, and your dad is a spineless pussy.


Everyone keeps calling this guy a wimp, but we don't really know what sort of arrangement they worked out. All she said is that they stayed together for the 2 year old. Dad might be out in cognito banging strippers. After this, she would have no right to complain.
 
2013-01-08 02:46:09 PM

bikerific: PowerSlacker: Better yet, how does that slut explain to her children how "Dad" is such a spineless weasel?


Seems like sticking around in this situation takes a lot more spine than just bailing out.

People make mistakes. They get over it.


Yeah, they get over it by remedying the situation. Not let it fester around until it legally becomes a human being.

Bailing out and taking custody of the kid is what a guy with a spine does; especially if the woman won't do the right thing and remedy the mistake.

It takes great strength to raise a kid under those circumstances, it is easier to lie to yourself and the children there's nothing wrong.
 
2013-01-08 02:47:09 PM
What were the phone lines for Jerry and Maury busy?
 
2013-01-08 02:47:33 PM
Whores are gonna whore, I reckon.
 
2013-01-08 02:48:10 PM
4.bp.blogspot.com

\Seriously? I have to do this myself?
 
2013-01-08 02:48:36 PM

Lord Dimwit: is infidelity of a spouse useful in custody hearings? Like, showing that someone is an unfit parent?


No.

The "family" court system is stacked overwhelmingly in favor of (1) breaking up families, (2) giving custody to the woman, and then (3) making the man pay her alimony (called child support).

The man should have bailed as soon as the baby came out black.
 
2013-01-08 02:48:39 PM

Koalaesq: We were attempting to get her to keep custody of her 5th child. It was hard because she had had sex with another man while the 4 year old was in the room.


Why would you do that?
I mean, other than for the money.


/You're a public defender, aren't you?
 
2013-01-08 02:49:49 PM

Schwhat: bikerific: PowerSlacker: Better yet, how does that slut explain to her children how "Dad" is such a spineless weasel?


Seems like sticking around in this situation takes a lot more spine than just bailing out.

People make mistakes. They get over it.

Yeah, they get over it by remedying the situation. Not let it fester around until it legally becomes a human being.

Bailing out and taking custody of the kid is what a guy with a spine does; especially if the woman won't do the right thing and remedy the mistake.

It takes great strength to raise a kid under those circumstances, it is easier to lie to yourself and the children there's nothing wrong.


She should have aborted it. She has brought shame on her family.
 
2013-01-08 02:51:04 PM

Tommy Moo: cig-mkr: Son, shiat happens to stupid sluts, and your dad is a spineless pussy.

Everyone keeps calling this guy a wimp, but we don't really know what sort of arrangement they worked out. All she said is that they stayed together for the 2 year old. Dad might be out in cognito banging strippers. After this, she would have no right to complain.


He's not a wimp, and he'd look good in court for sticking around. As a plaintiff, he's avoiding being accused of having "Unclean Hands" and being screwed with paying support for 18 years. Link
 
2013-01-08 02:51:04 PM

It's Me Bender: The "family" court system is stacked overwhelmingly in favor of (1) breaking up families, (2) giving custody to the woman, and then (3) making the man pay her alimony (called child support).


That's because:

1) If you're in family court, you're probably already broken up.
2) Jackasses like you drive a social narrative so the fathers have already given up long before they ever got to court.
3) Your chance to biatch about supporting a woman comes when you are dating her and are married to her and she wants to be a stay at home mom. You don't get to be cool with it and then not come divorce time.
 
2013-01-08 02:51:10 PM

It's Me Bender: Lord Dimwit: is infidelity of a spouse useful in custody hearings? Like, showing that someone is an unfit parent?

No.

The "family" court system is stacked overwhelmingly in favor of (1) breaking up families, (2) giving custody to the woman, and then (3) making the man pay her alimony (called child support).

The man should have bailed as soon as the baby came out black.


As in, if it's black, I'm not coming back?
 
2013-01-08 02:52:33 PM

miss diminutive: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: biatch must be a god damn once-in-a-lifetime piece of ass for him to stick around and raise someone else's kid, let alone a mulatto one.

Maybe he's just thinking that he doesn't want to punish the child for the mother's mistakes.

He's more forgiving than most, it would seem.


I have a number of friends who had parents who cheated and got caught, and then had the parents stay together for the kids. I have yet to hear any of the kids say they think it was a good idea.
 
2013-01-08 02:54:50 PM

miscreant: Maybe the husband actually gets off on that. Isn't there a whole porn genre based on this?


I can't watch porn with black dudes in it
 
2013-01-08 02:55:42 PM
Four words

www.hangthebankers.com
sugarmtnfarm.com
 
2013-01-08 02:55:51 PM

lude: Did she even know the guy's name? Or was he called "next"


While that may come across as a funny little joke, it should be remembered that most women who "go black" as they say, become complete whoores for the BBC. They crave it. It becomes their Lord and Master, such is the power of Black Mojo. They'll tryst away with their Black Lover, enjoying the prodigious manhood for which they are famous, and can even forget that the husband is there, in the room, perhaps touching himself, perhaps weeping tears of joy on his chastity device, but all she knows is she rests secure in the Bosom of Africa which controls, embraces, and penetrates her. She'll gleefully take his issue in whatever orifice it should please him to deposit it. Then she'll lay back and beckon for more as the African American man is known for his enormous sexual appetite and superhuman performance.

But here's where that fantasy becomes complicated. Indeed, she's gone black, she certainly cannot go back at this juncture. She can, however, go forward. Group liaisons with multiple hung, black stallions, two, three, even six at a time is not uncommon once a HotWife has truly accepted her identity as a Black C*ck Slut. Once she begins taking cream pies under such conditions, it is truly a lottery when attempting to determine the sire of the resultant spawn. And you can be sure, oh yes, that there will be cream pies. Demure at first, playing the coquettish Horny, Hot, White, Suburban Housewife, she may choose to require her partners to wear condoms when penetrating her vagina. Once her legs are wrapped around his torso and her hands cling to his muscular, athletic shoulders, however, she will take in his scent, feel his passion, and crave the sensation of his seed within her. It is inevitable. It happens not to most, but to all white women who indulge that Mandingo fantasy.

Also surprising to many of these women is the full scope of the Black Man's Sexual Prowess. Even women who are treated with oral contraceptives will find their very physiology transformed by her Nubian Lover. Some unknown quality exists in the Hung Black Stud (please forgive my redundancy, but it's a historical term), that will make the most barren woman fertile. Like the land that gave birth to his forefathers and indeed to all humanity, the fecundity of Mother Africa is somehow translated into the womb of the BBC Whore. She will ovulate despite the presence of anti-fertility hormones. Her ovum will find the uterus despite tubal ligations. Her seed with seek out his, bond and enjoin her flesh to bring forth more black life. And find that seed she will, for it is generally a copious discharge. At least, the first three or four of a session. After that he may require further hydration. And multiply that by the basketball or football team who arrive at the hotel to service her, and you can well imagine the veritable bath she'll take in their ejaculate.

Yes, who indeed is this Love Child's Black Daddy. Dare I say we all are.
 
2013-01-08 02:56:39 PM

ChadM89: accelerus: I'd love to know if the REAL father of the black baby pays child support, or does anything even remotely needed to help pay for the kid.

It's obvious the woman is a lying cheating whore, she just had to go out and get some big black cack and was stupid enough to get knocked up.


The sad thing is the biggest dumb ass in the whole equation is the hubby for staying with her. I'd have taken my real daughter and told the whore and tyrone to live happily ever after in their crack shack.

Holy shiat. For all the information we have, this lady could have gone out to a nice establishment and picked up an attractive, successful black man and had a one-night stand with him. She may have never spoken to him again, he may not even know she had a child by him. We know nothing about him except the fact that this lady had sex with him at least once and that he's a black male.

And based on "black male", you deliver a rant in which he's a deatbeat father named Tyrone who smokes crack and lives in squalor. Frankly I'm just surprised you didn't start off your post with, "Im not a racist, but..."


One thing we can be certain of...she did not sleep with a wealthy black athlete.  Otherwise, you bet she'd be suing for a share of the Tiger Woods Children Out of Wedlock Trust.
 
2013-01-08 02:57:06 PM
Next time she feels that way perhaps she should consider a little
-4.bp.blogspot.com
Instead
 
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