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(Slate)   Dear Prudence, How do I explain to my mixed race child that I'm a lying cheating slut?   (slate.com) divider line 435
    More: Obvious, Prudi, stomach virus, age appropriate  
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27098 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Jan 2013 at 1:55 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-08 02:09:45 PM

bob999: I've often assumed that Ms. Prudence makes these up. She sure gets some of the most improbable letters.


On her off days she writes for "Dear Penthouse"
 
2013-01-08 02:09:51 PM
sunsetandecho.files.wordpress.com

Let me give you some advice, bastard. Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.
 
2013-01-08 02:09:56 PM

Crotchrocket Slim: Also, cattle prod to the mother in law for lying to the child... and for being a lame stereotype of a mother in law.


Isn't the mixed-race child technically adopted by the husband now? A similar but single-race situation like this happened in my friend group and the husband adopted the new kid. The wife was going through some serious alcohol problems when she left the husband and shacked up temporarily with the babydaddy, but the wife ended up returning to her husband and kids, got treatment, finished school and pulled her life together.

It can work, though that doesn't mean it will for TFA's giant whore.
 
2013-01-08 02:11:00 PM
images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-01-08 02:11:11 PM

Fark Rye For Many Whores: [abandoned-orphaned.typepad.com image 306x408]


Everyone has a reason to love that 'shop!
 
2013-01-08 02:11:47 PM
ts4.mm.bing.net

old school
 
2013-01-08 02:11:59 PM
You might have had a few moments of pleasure, but your husband is cuckolded for life.
 
2013-01-08 02:12:09 PM

factoryconnection: Crotchrocket Slim: Also, cattle prod to the mother in law for lying to the child... and for being a lame stereotype of a mother in law.

Isn't the mixed-race child technically adopted by the husband now? A similar but single-race situation like this happened in my friend group and the husband adopted the new kid. The wife was going through some serious alcohol problems when she left the husband and shacked up temporarily with the babydaddy, but the wife ended up returning to her husband and kids, got treatment, finished school and pulled her life together.

It can work, though that doesn't mean it will for TFA's giant whore.


There's something called the Putative Father doctrine that many (most?) states have that says any child born to a married man and woman automatically means the husband is considered the dad, even if the mom suspects or knows the child was born of cuckoldry. So depending on the state, yes, the husband may be deemed the actual father of the child.
 
2013-01-08 02:12:27 PM

iheartscotch: miss diminutive: Candygram.

Candygram for mongo?


Is there any other kind?

CygnusDarius: [sunsetandecho.files.wordpress.com image 600x500]

Let me give you some advice, bastard. Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.


Dammit, that just reminded me how long I have to wait until the new season starts.
 
2013-01-08 02:12:32 PM

Koalaesq: When talking about custody of a child, the standard is always "best interest of the children." In this case, I would argue that having affairs doesnt' necessarily affect the child


Well, no affect other than it completely broke the family up, right? Parenting is about sacrifices and choosing what is in "the best interest of the child." I'm thinkin this lady needed to make a significantly better decision, perhaps at personal sacrifice.

Koalaesq: So generally, no, affairs don't impact custody decisions


You are picturing the custody decision as a single entity. Custody would be a single part of a larger divorce case. She cheated on him, so she's at fault, so she's going to be the one with the uphill battle. The stupidest thing a guy who just got cheated on can possibly do is move out. The court is going to give primary custody to whoever kept the house because that's in the best interest of the children. If he asks for it, odds are the guy who got cheated on is going to get it.
 
2013-01-08 02:12:50 PM
When a mommy and a daddy decide they want to make a very special child, they get together and a special child is made. Now multiply that by 50.

and/or

When you're 18, I can show you the video.

and/or

And the TV man said "You are the father" and that was the last I ever saw of him.
 
2013-01-08 02:12:59 PM

namegoeshere: Fark Rye For Many Whores: [abandoned-orphaned.typepad.com image 306x408]

Interesting body language in that pic.


That was the adopted child that W used to torpedo McCain out of the SC Primary in 2000, by claiming it was his secret, illegitimate child. That's what you get when you put this state full of morons in a position of power.
 
2013-01-08 02:13:12 PM

Koalaesq: Lord Dimwit: Just out of curiosity, is infidelity of a spouse useful in custody hearings? Like, showing that someone is an unfit parent? 'Cause if so, I would think divorce would be the best option here.


When talking about custody of a child, the standard is always "best interest of the children." In this case, I would argue that having affairs doesnt' necessarily affect the child because that's an adult matter that doesn't really impact the child (although it may be foolish to have a kid from those affairs, but that's a separate issue). So generally, no, affairs don't impact custody decisions, unless it can be shown that mom is having affairs in front of the kid, or with dangerous people, or in a way that neglects the children.

/that'll be $200, please.


That's what I was expecting to hear. What always weirds me out though is that husbands are on the hook for child support for children who aren't their own. I get that it's "in the best interest of the child" to have that monetary support, but if that's the case, why don't all parents just get a stipend per child? That's in the child's best interest too. Why is a guy paying for another guy's child in that child's best interest if he was married to the mother, but if he wasn't married, it's not in the child's best interest?

(I know, I know "the law shall make no bastards" or whatever the phrase is.)
 
2013-01-08 02:13:15 PM
Here kids, let's have some of the gender-reveal cake!
 
2013-01-08 02:13:19 PM

DoBeDoBeDo: Also the one about the lady getting off from the Maseur is a complete double standard. If a dude popped wood getting a rub down and wanted to go back and enjoy that this woman would probably be all over him for having a cheating mind.


Dear Prudence,

The only way I can reach orgasm is for a small Asian woman to walk around on my back.  Should I tell my wife?
 
2013-01-08 02:13:31 PM
Any one else see this in the article... Dear Prudence: Doubling the Pleasure?

Sounds like a kinky Prudence...
 
2013-01-08 02:14:27 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-01-08 02:14:29 PM

GORDON: I can forgive a lot, but that would be too much. As much as I would fear losing custody of my kid, I would divorce and sue for full custody of the one she had with me. Let her get the other guy to take care of their child.


Assuming the other guy is rich - it might work out in the Father's favor. The biological Dad should still be on the hook for child-support; and child-support isn't based on what it costs to raise a child, but on what the Dad can pay.
 
2013-01-08 02:14:41 PM
The Dr who delivered my eldest daughtr thinks he's a comedian. I said I didn't particularly want to observe the birth, so I stayed up with the Mrs and held her hand / talked her throug it. The Dr got me to lok by saying " It's crowning; l can see her little black curly hairs". Friggn smart arse that guy!

csbroheim
 
2013-01-08 02:14:52 PM
Despite continuing weekly evidence to the contrary, I will continue to believe that the vast majority of men who think they are the biological fathers of their children really did provide the sperm.

At least one writer for Slate can see their own disconnect from reality.
 
2013-01-08 02:14:55 PM
Just tell the truth. The husband is obviously ok with it. If other people don't like it, fark them.

I really think the "lol, she was adopted" thing will cause a lot more problems than "well, people fark, and I farked two different guys that got me pregnant." The kid doesn't deserve the deception.
 
2013-01-08 02:15:25 PM

miss diminutive: Lord Dimwit: I work from home and my wife is a stay at home mom, so it's not like we have a lot of opportunities to be unfaithful.

Sorry, she's cheating on you with another furry from Second Life.

I keed, I keed.

I think infidelity is a dealbreaker for most people though. Especially if the cheating results in a child...which means she probably wasn't using protection and could have brought home all kinds of nastiness.


A family friend found out her husband was cheating on her when she got some STD from him. Found out later that he'd been cheating on her for years. She kicked him out of the house and was going to divorce him, but then decided that she couldn't handle four kids on her own and let him back in. Sucks all around (which is not to imply anything other than 100% of the guilt lies on the husband).
 
2013-01-08 02:15:42 PM
Did she even know the guy's name? Or was he called "next"

//lude
 
2013-01-08 02:15:54 PM
Lady, you've made quite the series of bad decisions. Why change strategies now?
 
2013-01-08 02:16:13 PM

PowerSlacker: Better yet, how does that slut explain to her children how "Dad" is such a spineless weasel?



Seems like sticking around in this situation takes a lot more spine than just bailing out.

People make mistakes. They get over it.
 
2013-01-08 02:17:16 PM
I was out at the bar the other night with some of female acquaintances. One of the women is this amazingly cute little brunette who was lamenting us all night about how hard it was to find a "good man". I was perplexed at first because she was an extremely cute, educated, employed, and generally took care of herself well. I was curious where the hangup was.

Several beers later (and much more cavalier with letting my thoughts be known), I decided to "help" her figure out what she was doing wrong. Immediately I asked her if she had a child, and she did. It seemed the child was damn near black as night even though she was white, and she informed it it was a bad breakup with the "poor excuse for a father". Lets just say I got an earful that night from her friend because I told her the truth that: "there was no way any white, good-looking, intelligent, well-off, fun, Midwestern guys are going to shack up with a single mother who has a mixed race baby and has daddy issues. You might as well find another black dude that doesn't care if you have a kid."

Reality can be harsh at times. If you're a single white mother with a black child .... good luck
 
2013-01-08 02:17:24 PM

lennavan: Koalaesq: When talking about custody of a child, the standard is always "best interest of the children." In this case, I would argue that having affairs doesnt' necessarily affect the child

Well, no affect other than it completely broke the family up, right? Parenting is about sacrifices and choosing what is in "the best interest of the child." I'm thinkin this lady needed to make a significantly better decision, perhaps at personal sacrifice.

Koalaesq: So generally, no, affairs don't impact custody decisions

You are picturing the custody decision as a single entity. Custody would be a single part of a larger divorce case. She cheated on him, so she's at fault, so she's going to be the one with the uphill battle. The stupidest thing a guy who just got cheated on can possibly do is move out. The court is going to give primary custody to whoever kept the house because that's in the best interest of the children. If he asks for it, odds are the guy who got cheated on is going to get it.


That's not how it works at all. It depends on if there's a contest or not about who gets the kid. 99% of the time, there's joint custody, I assume you're just talking about "residential custody", which has to do with who the kid lives with 51% of the time. In that case, affairs have nothing to do with it.
 
2013-01-08 02:18:03 PM

Lord Dimwit: miss diminutive: Lord Dimwit: I work from home and my wife is a stay at home mom, so it's not like we have a lot of opportunities to be unfaithful.

Sorry, she's cheating on you with another furry from Second Life.

I keed, I keed.

I think infidelity is a dealbreaker for most people though. Especially if the cheating results in a child...which means she probably wasn't using protection and could have brought home all kinds of nastiness.

A family friend found out her husband was cheating on her when she got some STD from him. Found out later that he'd been cheating on her for years. She kicked him out of the house and was going to divorce him, but then decided that she couldn't handle four kids on her own and let him back in. Sucks all around (which is not to imply anything other than 100% of the guilt lies on the husband).


I'd argue that if

1.) Your spouse is cheating on you
2.) Your spouse cheats on you for years without you know it

Your relationship was pretty bad. And since relationships are formed by both people in them, I'd say the blame should be shared by both people.

But that's just me.
 
2013-01-08 02:18:09 PM
She like the BBC. Divorce the farking whore
 
2013-01-08 02:18:33 PM
What I really got from this is that her husband has really good credit.
 
2013-01-08 02:19:09 PM
Maybe the husband actually gets off on that. Isn't there a whole porn genre based on this?
 
2013-01-08 02:19:17 PM

Lord Dimwit: Koalaesq: Lord Dimwit: Just out of curiosity, is infidelity of a spouse useful in custody hearings? Like, showing that someone is an unfit parent? 'Cause if so, I would think divorce would be the best option here.


When talking about custody of a child, the standard is always "best interest of the children." In this case, I would argue that having affairs doesnt' necessarily affect the child because that's an adult matter that doesn't really impact the child (although it may be foolish to have a kid from those affairs, but that's a separate issue). So generally, no, affairs don't impact custody decisions, unless it can be shown that mom is having affairs in front of the kid, or with dangerous people, or in a way that neglects the children.

/that'll be $200, please.

That's what I was expecting to hear. What always weirds me out though is that husbands are on the hook for child support for children who aren't their own. I get that it's "in the best interest of the child" to have that monetary support, but if that's the case, why don't all parents just get a stipend per child? That's in the child's best interest too. Why is a guy paying for another guy's child in that child's best interest if he was married to the mother, but if he wasn't married, it's not in the child's best interest?

(I know, I know "the law shall make no bastards" or whatever the phrase is.)


There are ways around it, but you have to get the courts involved. In NJ, there was a famous case where the husband/non-father sued the biological father for child support payments he had made on behalf of the kid and won. But those are tough.
 
2013-01-08 02:20:20 PM

miscreant: Maybe the husband actually gets off on that. Isn't there a whole porn genre based on this?


It's what the mw4m and mw4mm sections are for on Casual Encounters.
 
2013-01-08 02:20:23 PM

Fark Reddit or bust: LowbrowDeluxe: Well this should be an interesting thread full of intelligent commentary.

/abandons ship

Welcome to the circlejerk! Complementary tissues and lube?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68LAbJtd4uk
 
2013-01-08 02:20:35 PM
I know, through my own ex, a woman that has children by three different fathers. Encountering the family, I had thought that the eldest (in this case) was adopted, and was somewhat surprised to learn that her father had in fact been deported back to Jamaica. I had also thought that the father was merely annoyed by the older daughters wanting his attention while he was trying to relax. Ugh, I hate the Annapolis Valley.
 
2013-01-08 02:20:52 PM
I bet your husband can take of that.
 
2013-01-08 02:21:05 PM
I've seen this. I know a Middle Eastern guy that married an olive skinned woman of a nationality that I am not sure of. Anyway, their two sons are dark and middle eastern looking. Their daughter is as white as she could possibly be. Not really a big deal in that household as I am fairly sure (but not certain) the guy is the father and her skin/eye/hair color is the product of some recessive genes.
 
2013-01-08 02:21:13 PM
aka.media.entertainment.sky.com
 
2013-01-08 02:21:54 PM
Well put, subby. Bravo.

LowbrowDeluxe: Well this should be an interesting thread full of intelligent commentary.

/abandons ship


With a name like that you should either shut your hypocritical whore mouth or join in and wallow in the filth.
 
2013-01-08 02:22:10 PM
Headline says it all.

Mom is a bit overweight, has died blonde hair and self esteem issues? check
Sis goes directly into Special Ed while brother gets good grades? check

Not too much to figure out.

Can I say, I don't believe there is a husband? No man would put up with that. I think the state has become the husband for her. I see stupid hippie chicks with mocha babies all the time. Single moms raising ugly babies that don't like them on welfare. Black dads don't stick around girls. sad
 
2013-01-08 02:22:15 PM

Nurglitch: I know, through my own ex, a woman that has children by three different fathers. Encountering the family, I had thought that the eldest (in this case) was adopted, and was somewhat surprised to learn that her father had in fact been deported back to Jamaica. I had also thought that the father was merely annoyed by the older daughters wanting his attention while he was trying to relax. Ugh, I hate the Annapolis Valley.


One of my most memorable clients was a woman who had 5 children by 5 different fathers. We were attempting to get her to keep custody of her 5th child. It was hard because she had had sex with another man while the 4 year old was in the room. She assured me it was ok because the kid was watching TV and "never saw what happened".

/CSS
 
2013-01-08 02:22:22 PM

bikerific: Seems like sticking around in this situation takes a lot more spine than just bailing out.

People make mistakes. They get over it.


You can stick around in their lives without still being married. I would never be able to trust the person again personally... definitely not enough to keep living with them. Once burned, etc...
 
2013-01-08 02:23:02 PM
Easy, send some BIE to my EIP, please.
 
2013-01-08 02:23:35 PM
Son,

I see you have noticed that your half-sister, Shaniquawana, is a different color than you, daddy and me.
Well, to explain everything, Hollywood made a movie and here's the dvd.
It's called Mandingo.

Love,
Mummy
 
2013-01-08 02:24:13 PM
Little Johnny:Mom? Wy does sis get to play in the bleach water and i don't?

///not an aisle seat for me i'll be in the back.
 
2013-01-08 02:24:14 PM
I'd love to know if the REAL father of the black baby pays child support, or does anything even remotely needed to help pay for the kid.

It's obvious the woman is a lying cheating whore, she just had to go out and get some big black cack and was stupid enough to get knocked up.


The sad thing is the biggest dumb ass in the whole equation is the hubby for staying with her. I'd have taken my real daughter and told the whore and tyrone to live happily ever after in their crack shack.
 
2013-01-08 02:25:40 PM

Koalaesq: lennavan: Koalaesq: When talking about custody of a child, the standard is always "best interest of the children." In this case, I would argue that having affairs doesnt' necessarily affect the child

Well, no affect other than it completely broke the family up, right? Parenting is about sacrifices and choosing what is in "the best interest of the child." I'm thinkin this lady needed to make a significantly better decision, perhaps at personal sacrifice.

Koalaesq: So generally, no, affairs don't impact custody decisions

You are picturing the custody decision as a single entity. Custody would be a single part of a larger divorce case. She cheated on him, so she's at fault, so she's going to be the one with the uphill battle. The stupidest thing a guy who just got cheated on can possibly do is move out. The court is going to give primary custody to whoever kept the house because that's in the best interest of the children. If he asks for it, odds are the guy who got cheated on is going to get it.

That's not how it works at all. It depends on if there's a contest or not about who gets the kid. 99% of the time, there's joint custody, I assume you're just talking about "residential custody", which has to do with who the kid lives with 51% of the time. In that case, affairs have nothing to do with it.


99% of the time you think there is joint custody? I'll admit, I don't actually know the statistics but I'm willing to read your citation on that one. Because I just don't buy it.

When I said primary custody, I meant primary physical custody and yes, that is exactly how it works. Whoever has the house is going to get primary physical custody. That's where the kid's bedroom is, that's where they have lived for a long time, that's where they have grown up. If you're going through a divorce and you want primary physical custody, don't move out. Affairs absolutely do have to do with which side gets the house. And whichever side gets the house is going to get the kids.
 
2013-01-08 02:25:50 PM

HellRaisingHoosier: "there was no way any white, good-looking, intelligent, well-off, fun, Midwestern guys are going to shack up with a single mother who has a mixed race baby and has daddy issues. You might as well find another black dude that doesn't care if you have a kid."

Reality can be harsh at times. If you're a single white mother with a black child .... good luck


Sad, but in my personal experiences out in the midwest (Kansas, Missouri, Illinois), true. She'd have better luck down south or along the coasts, where single parents are either more common, or people more accepting.
 
2013-01-08 02:26:27 PM
Isn't it racist to disdain her because she discovered a preference for the purple?
 
2013-01-08 02:26:55 PM

namegoeshere: This story would be better if they were fraternal twins of different races.


4.bp.blogspot.com

laughingsquid.com

static.guim.co.uk

Say whut?
 
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