If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Slate)   Dear Prudence, How do I explain to my mixed race child that I'm a lying cheating slut?   (slate.com) divider line 435
    More: Obvious, Prudi, stomach virus, age appropriate  
•       •       •

27095 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Jan 2013 at 1:55 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



435 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-01-08 01:56:46 PM
Dear Slut:
It is obvious, don't worry. He will know. They all will know.
 
2013-01-08 01:57:07 PM
Well this should be an interesting thread full of intelligent commentary.

/abandons ship
 
2013-01-08 01:57:12 PM
Don't bother.

They know already.
 
2013-01-08 01:57:51 PM
Better yet, how does that slut explain to her children how "Dad" is such a spineless weasel?
 
2013-01-08 01:58:46 PM
aka.media.entertainment.sky.com
 
2013-01-08 01:59:04 PM
If you are unable to come up with the words to explain life to your child, perhaps that's a sign that you shouldn't be having any.
 
2013-01-08 01:59:23 PM

LowbrowDeluxe: Well this should be an interesting thread full of intelligent commentary.

/abandons ship


Welcome to the circlejerk! Complementary tissues and lube?
 
2013-01-08 01:59:24 PM
A. He's five and it's on the internet, he already knows.
 
2013-01-08 01:59:31 PM
Why would you decide it was a good idea to have this child? Why would you stay with her after that? It isn't like your marriage is healthy, get a divorce immediately. You are not helping any of the children by staying together.
 
2013-01-08 01:59:44 PM
Candygram.
 
2013-01-08 01:59:46 PM
I call bullshiat
 
2013-01-08 01:59:51 PM
"But mommy, I heard you never go back..."
 
2013-01-08 02:00:07 PM

PowerSlacker: Better yet, how does that slut explain to her children how "Dad" is such a spineless weasel?


It partially explains why she cheated on him in the first place: She knew she would get away with it.
 
2013-01-08 02:00:12 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-01-08 02:00:28 PM
aka.media.entertainment.sky.com
 
2013-01-08 02:00:38 PM
Either fess up now, or wait for the inevitable beatings your little snowflake will take when he hits school age.
 
2013-01-08 02:00:49 PM
Because my husband and I had a 2-year-old son together we decided that we could keep our marriage together for his sake

Yeah that's not gonna work. Your second kid is a daily reminder to your husband that you're a lying cheating slut. Your relationship is going to fail, it is probably already terrible and your husband is wasting his years of life with you. He should teach his 2 year old son to not take that sort of shiat, divorce your sorry ass and kick you out of the house.

Hugs,
~Lenny
 
2013-01-08 02:01:12 PM
I can forgive a lot, but that would be too much. As much as I would fear losing custody of my kid, I would divorce and sue for full custody of the one she had with me. Let her get the other guy to take care of their child.
 
2013-01-08 02:01:28 PM
"One day, you can be President, you little mocha bastard".

/not helping, I know.
 
2013-01-08 02:01:33 PM

KidneyStone: [aka.media.entertainment.sky.com image 570x364]


DAMMIT.
 
2013-01-08 02:01:45 PM
Dude. Man up and leave. The other one isn't yours either.
 
2013-01-08 02:01:58 PM
Son, shiat happens to stupid sluts, and your dad is a spineless pussy.
 
2013-01-08 02:02:33 PM
Here's an answer that's actually true, if you use the secondary definitions of some of the words:

Your daddy was impotent, so I got a sperm donor.
 
2013-01-08 02:02:39 PM

GORDON: I can forgive a lot, but that would be too much. As much as I would fear losing custody of my kid, I would divorce and sue for full custody of the one she had with me. Let her get the other guy to take care of their child.


Based on my observations, that's hilarious.
 
2013-01-08 02:02:49 PM

lennavan: Because my husband and I had a 2-year-old son together we decided that we could keep our marriage together for his sake

Yeah that's not gonna work. Your second kid is a daily reminder to your husband that you're a lying cheating slut. Your relationship is going to fail, it is probably already terrible and your husband is wasting his years of life with you. He should teach his 2 year old son to not take that sort of shiat, divorce your sorry ass and kick you out of the house.

Hugs,
~Lenny


The best part is, if they get divorced now, the husband will likely be on the hook for child support for the mixed race kid too.

/There's a little gas on this fire for ya.
 
2013-01-08 02:02:56 PM
I wonder if the second kid's father is at all in the picture. Wait until he suddenly decides to come seeking custody or visitation rights of the kid; that'll really be confusing to the first kid.
 
2013-01-08 02:02:57 PM
Gah, that poor little girl.
 
2013-01-08 02:03:33 PM

Koalaesq: I wonder if the second kid's father is at all in the picture. Wait until he suddenly decides to come seeking custody or visitation rights of the kid; that'll really be confusing to the first kid.


Now that's funny.
 
2013-01-08 02:04:24 PM

The Angry Hand of God: Why would you decide it was a good idea to have this child? Why would you stay with her after that? It isn't like your marriage is healthy, get a divorce immediately. You are not helping any of the children by staying together.


It's almost like for situations like this and the fact the people grow and change radically during their lives that this whole "until death do us part" things is really dumb (note that I'm a child of divorce and I do know from personal experience that two divorced adults with personal history with each other can indeed raise a healthy child together assuming both are mature, which you'd want in a nuclear family-type situation anyway).
 
2013-01-08 02:04:24 PM
my mother-in-law took it upon herself to tell him she was adopted. I'm at a loss for what to do. For now my husband has told MIL that the topic is verboten, but we haven't decided if we should correct her error.

Yeah, that's a good plan which will totally never backfire on you.
 
2013-01-08 02:04:46 PM
Just out of curiosity, is infidelity of a spouse useful in custody hearings? Like, showing that someone is an unfit parent? 'Cause if so, I would think divorce would be the best option here.

My wife and I have an understanding on this. Just about anything will be forgiven, but not infidelity. No second chances. Trust is absolutely necessary for a working marriage, and once trust is violated to that degree, it can probably never be regained.

(I work from home and my wife is a stay at home mom, so it's not like we have a lot of opportunities to be unfaithful. Also, I'm amazed I have even one woman in the world who's interested in me anyway, so it's not like I'm going to cheat.)
 
2013-01-08 02:05:02 PM
I've often assumed that Ms. Prudence makes these up. She sure gets some of the most improbable letters.
 
2013-01-08 02:05:07 PM
Right kept the marriage together because of the kid.

Just come out and say "My husband loves to watch me get boned by BBC on a regular basis. One time we got carried away in the moment and he wanted to see his wife get a creampie from another dude."

Also the one about the lady getting off from the Maseur is a complete double standard. If a dude popped wood getting a rub down and wanted to go back and enjoy that this woman would probably be all over him for having a cheating mind.
 
2013-01-08 02:05:14 PM
This story would be better if they were fraternal twins of different races.
 
2013-01-08 02:05:21 PM
Son/Daughter,

There is an old saying. It goes 'When you go black, you never go back'. Well, I went black. And I have a beautiful child. But then I went back. Now, I'm not saying it was right of me to go back. Let's face it, daddy isn't all that in the downstairs department and I'm not scoring with that set of equipment, if you know what I mean. But he is a good provider, and his biatch ass better be, too. If he doesn't know what is good for him, I might just go off and find a nice Mexican to give you a brother to play with. Your daddy best know I'm good to him. Don't tell me I look fat in that dress, Mr Beer Belly. I'll run you into bankruptcy so fast you'll wish I had slept with the entire 1986 Denver Broncos squad. Now sweetie, let's just keep this between you and me, ok? No need to tell daddy anything, ok? Let's go get some ice cream. Mommy has a powerful need to go shopping and spend some of daddy's hard earned money. Want a pony? Let's go get one.
 
2013-01-08 02:05:23 PM
Also, cattle prod to the mother in law for lying to the child... and for being a lame stereotype of a mother in law.
 
2013-01-08 02:05:34 PM

cig-mkr: Son, shiat happens to stupid sluts, and your dad is a spineless pussy.


Something that people don't know well enough is that fertility for women jumps with new partners and after long droughts. So, cheating bastards and whores of the world, just because you stopped using condoms or other birth control with your spouse a long time ago doesn't mean that you should skip it with your new strange.
 
2013-01-08 02:06:04 PM
Dear Prudence:

My 5-year-old son is starting to ask why I, his father, have no testicles. And since I have no testicles, how am I a daddy in the first place?
 
2013-01-08 02:06:08 PM

Koalaesq: I wonder if the second kid's father is at all in the picture. Wait until he suddenly decides to come seeking custody or visitation rights of the kid; that'll really be confusing to the first kid.


Like the 10 guys running the train on her would be able to narrow it down!
 
2013-01-08 02:06:21 PM
Just say that it's our duty to smear all the colors together
 
2013-01-08 02:06:57 PM

Lord Dimwit: Just out of curiosity, is infidelity of a spouse useful in custody hearings? Like, showing that someone is an unfit parent? 'Cause if so, I would think divorce would be the best option here.


When talking about custody of a child, the standard is always "best interest of the children." In this case, I would argue that having affairs doesnt' necessarily affect the child because that's an adult matter that doesn't really impact the child (although it may be foolish to have a kid from those affairs, but that's a separate issue). So generally, no, affairs don't impact custody decisions, unless it can be shown that mom is having affairs in front of the kid, or with dangerous people, or in a way that neglects the children.

/that'll be $200, please.
 
2013-01-08 02:07:14 PM
I certainly hope the white guy looked into the laws in his state, and didn't sign his name to the birth certificate. Otherwise it's gonna suck when he finally gets his balls back, divorces her, but then finds out he's still on the hook for the other guy's child support.
 
2013-01-08 02:07:16 PM
abandoned-orphaned.typepad.com
 
2013-01-08 02:07:54 PM

miss diminutive: Candygram.


Candygram for mongo?
 
2013-01-08 02:08:18 PM
He's gonna figure it out. And when he does, hopefully you will have taken him on enough slut-walks that he won't be too judgmental. And hopefully he will be gay. And promiscuous as hell. And flamboyant. And a Born again holy roller. And dating a bisexual, pre-op Haitian blood donor.
 
2013-01-08 02:08:31 PM

Lord Dimwit: Just out of curiosity, is infidelity of a spouse useful in custody hearings? Like, showing that someone is an unfit parent? 'Cause if so, I would think divorce would be the best option here.



Marriage and the laws surrounding it are a matter of the individual states. So, the answer is it depends on what the state laws are.
 
2013-01-08 02:08:38 PM

Fark Rye For Many Whores: [abandoned-orphaned.typepad.com image 306x408]


Interesting body language in that pic.
 
2013-01-08 02:08:43 PM

RoxtarRyan: "But mommy, I heard you never go back..."


Hehehe
 
2013-01-08 02:09:23 PM
Mother: Navin, it's your birthday, and it's time you knew. You're not our natural-born child.
Navin R. Johnson: I'm not? You mean I'm gonna STAY this color?
 
2013-01-08 02:09:27 PM

Lord Dimwit: I work from home and my wife is a stay at home mom, so it's not like we have a lot of opportunities to be unfaithful.


Sorry, she's cheating on you with another furry from Second Life.

I keed, I keed.

I think infidelity is a dealbreaker for most people though. Especially if the cheating results in a child...which means she probably wasn't using protection and could have brought home all kinds of nastiness.
 
Displayed 50 of 435 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report