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(Slashdot)   Not even burglars want Microsoft products   (apple.slashdot.org) divider line 52
    More: Amusing, Microsoft, Apple iPad, burglary  
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5541 clicks; posted to Geek » on 08 Jan 2013 at 4:07 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-08 02:48:01 PM  
True since the  profit margin due to smug  is so much better with Apple products,
 
2013-01-08 04:17:13 PM  
Buglers steal items with highest/fasted resale opportunity around holidays. More at 11.
 
2013-01-08 04:22:05 PM  

Electromax: Buglers steal items with highest/fasted resale opportunity around holidays. More at 11.


And we're done.
 
2013-01-08 04:22:58 PM  
Ah, an Apple thread on Slashdot.

"Apple, what fascists! Apple users are such idiots for settling for their LOCKED DOWN PLATFORM. There's no way teh ebil walled garden could be more desirable for certain users than a toaster running NetBSD! Ugh, hold on guys, I've got a lot more to write on this topic but I my grandma farked up her computer again so I have to go fix it and lock down her account some more."
 
2013-01-08 04:25:38 PM  

fallingcow: Ah, an Apple thread on Slashdot.

"Apple, what fascists! Apple users are such idiots for settling for their LOCKED DOWN PLATFORM. There's no way teh ebil walled garden could be more desirable for certain users than a toaster running NetBSD! Ugh, hold on guys, I've got a lot more to write on this topic but I my grandma farked up her computer again so I have to go fix it and lock down her account some more."


"Hah now MIcrosoft has something in common with our beloved pet operating system!"
"oh wait..."
*consumes entire bag of cheetos*
 
2013-01-08 04:26:25 PM  
Wait...what was MicroSoft's R&D doing with iPads...?
 
2013-01-08 04:29:10 PM  

FormlessOne: Electromax: Buglers steal items with highest/fasted resale opportunity around holidays. More at 11.

And we're done.


"Farkers everywhere agree: Apple products not only are the fastest sellers out there, they retain high resale value! Apple: Market tested, Farker approved."
 
2013-01-08 04:31:57 PM  

friday13: Wait...what was MicroSoft's R&D doing with iPads...?


Writing apps for them. Same reason they've got a huge pile of Mac desktop units.
 
2013-01-08 04:37:29 PM  
And the #1 most stolen vehicle for the year 2011 was the 1994 Honda Accord midsize (according to Forbes). I guess that means that the 1994 Honda Accord is the best car out there.
 
2013-01-08 04:44:21 PM  
Generally speaking criminals don't choose a life of crime because they enjoy it. Usually they are too stupid, lazy or ignorant to make an honest living. As such I don't think they are as qualified to make a a judgement on the quality of consumer electronics as a half trained chimpanzee. I'm not saying 'Apple bad Microsoft good' I'm just saying this is humorous but not exactly some sort of win or loss for anybody's team in the constant online war over what brand of overpriced crap is the best.
 
2013-01-08 04:52:29 PM  
As I type this on a Compaq Presario running Vista...let's just say I understand.
 
2013-01-08 04:56:15 PM  

fallingcow: Ah, an Apple thread on Slashdot.

"Apple, what fascists! Apple users are such idiots for settling for their LOCKED DOWN PLATFORM. There's no way teh ebil walled garden could be more desirable for certain users than a toaster running NetBSD! Ugh, hold on guys, I've got a lot more to write on this topic but I my grandma farked up her computer again so I have to go fix it and lock down her account some more."


Apple threads on Slashdot look an awful lot like Apple threads on Fark

fuhfuhfuh: And the #1 most stolen vehicle for the year 2011 was the 1994 Honda Accord midsize (according to Forbes). I guess that means that the 1994 Honda Accord is the best car out there.


The headline nor the article came anywhere near to whatever point you're trying to make. That one was all you, champ.
 
2013-01-08 05:07:19 PM  

fuhfuhfuh: And the #1 most stolen vehicle for the year 2011 was the 1994 Honda Accord midsize (according to Forbes). I guess that means that the 1994 Honda Accord is the best car out there.


If you broke into a car showroom and there was a 1994 honda accord and a a Ferrari, I doubt most criminals would steal the accord. Stealing cars off the street is probably more often a crime of opportunity or convenience rather than some car thief seeking out all the Hondas. Not really the same situation as breaking into an office and choosing between an iPad or some crappy workstation.
 
2013-01-08 05:08:09 PM  

Ed Grubermann: friday13: Wait...what was MicroSoft's R&D doing with iPads...?

Writing apps for them. Same reason they've got a huge pile of Mac desktop units.


That, and your R&D people should have some experts in using the competition's products.  That's the "R" part.
 
2013-01-08 05:14:33 PM  
What a crappy link.
 
2013-01-08 05:30:08 PM  

Electromax: fuhfuhfuh: And the #1 most stolen vehicle for the year 2011 was the 1994 Honda Accord midsize (according to Forbes). I guess that means that the 1994 Honda Accord is the best car out there.

If you broke into a car showroom and there was a 1994 honda accord and a a Ferrari, I doubt most criminals would steal the accord. Stealing cars off the street is probably more often a crime of opportunity or convenience rather than some car thief seeking out all the Hondas. Not really the same situation as breaking into an office and choosing between an iPad or some crappy workstation.


"Did you know that the 1994 Honda Accord is so popular that it's literally everywhere? Why, you could walk down just about any street and find one to steal. With unparalleled opportunity and convenience like that, you could be driving away in your 'new' Accord right now. Honda Accord: everyone else has one... shouldn't you?"
 
2013-01-08 05:30:11 PM  

Electromax: fuhfuhfuh: And the #1 most stolen vehicle for the year 2011 was the 1994 Honda Accord midsize (according to Forbes). I guess that means that the 1994 Honda Accord is the best car out there.

If you broke into a car showroom and there was a 1994 honda accord and a a Ferrari, I doubt most criminals would steal the accord. Stealing cars off the street is probably more often a crime of opportunity or convenience rather than some car thief seeking out all the Hondas. Not really the same situation as breaking into an office and choosing between an iPad or some crappy workstation.


You would be quite wrong in that assumption as well.  The reason the Accord is the number 1 stolen vehicle is because so many of them have sold that there is a high demand for parts, so they are easy to move. You try selling the drive train from an Accord and nobody blinks an eye, you try to move Ferrari parts and people start asking questions. Using your example, the only thief who would steal the Ferrari would be the one who doesn't know what the hell he's doing.
 
2013-01-08 05:40:22 PM  

Electromax: Buglers


upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-01-08 05:45:12 PM  

ReapTheChaos: Electromax: fuhfuhfuh: And the #1 most stolen vehicle for the year 2011 was the 1994 Honda Accord midsize (according to Forbes). I guess that means that the 1994 Honda Accord is the best car out there.

If you broke into a car showroom and there was a 1994 honda accord and a a Ferrari, I doubt most criminals would steal the accord. Stealing cars off the street is probably more often a crime of opportunity or convenience rather than some car thief seeking out all the Hondas. Not really the same situation as breaking into an office and choosing between an iPad or some crappy workstation.

You would be quite wrong in that assumption as well.  The reason the Accord is the number 1 stolen vehicle is because so many of them have sold that there is a high demand for parts, so they are easy to move. You try selling the drive train from an Accord and nobody blinks an eye, you try to move Ferrari parts and people start asking questions. Using your example, the only thief who would steal the Ferrari would be the one who doesn't know what the hell he's doing.


Huh, thanks for sharing, didn't think of that. Makes sense, I wasn't really considering the constituent parts. I guess it still agrees with the gist of my response to fuh up there - accords are stolen due to the higher demand for parts, not that they're the "best" car. I don't think anyone would interpret this story as them stealing the iPads because they liked the app store, but that there's a market for them and it's easier to resell than, I dunno, some specialty prototyping printer in Microsoft's R&D lab..
 
2013-01-08 05:47:27 PM  

Electromax: Huh, thanks for sharing, didn't think of that. Makes sense, I wasn't really considering the constituent parts. I guess it still agrees with the gist of my response to fuh up there - accords are stolen due to the higher demand for parts, not that they're the "best" car.


And yet, that higher demand for parts is "because so many them have sold".

How many Zunes did the thieves steal? Or, conversely, how many Zunes did the thieves bring with them to leave behind?
 
2013-01-08 05:55:11 PM  

Theaetetus: Electromax: Huh, thanks for sharing, didn't think of that. Makes sense, I wasn't really considering the constituent parts. I guess it still agrees with the gist of my response to fuh up there - accords are stolen due to the higher demand for parts, not that they're the "best" car.

And yet, that higher demand for parts is "because so many them have sold".

How many Zunes did the thieves steal? Or, conversely, how many Zunes did the thieves bring with them to leave behind?


Whatever, I love my zunes! The app selection isn't exactly...well, in this realm of existence, but they're music players not gaming systems.
 
2013-01-08 05:57:50 PM  
The iPads were said to have been taken from an office where Microsoft develops new software for Apple products.

If it'd been hardware R&D, they'd have been walking out with 360s. Thieves LOVE 360s.
 
2013-01-08 05:59:55 PM  
"Not even burglars want Microsoft products"

Not even Fark liters want [what is essentially] a re-tweet of a non-issue thru Slashdot. Just link directly to TFA, Slashdot adds nothing of value.
 
2013-01-08 06:02:50 PM  

Theaetetus: Electromax: Huh, thanks for sharing, didn't think of that. Makes sense, I wasn't really considering the constituent parts. I guess it still agrees with the gist of my response to fuh up there - accords are stolen due to the higher demand for parts, not that they're the "best" car.

And yet, that higher demand for parts is "because so many them have sold".

How many Zunes did the thieves steal? Or, conversely, how many Zunes did the thieves bring with them to leave behind?


Meh. I posted initially because I thought it was dumb how TFA/subby were trying to squeeze a story out of something more likely explained by common sense on the robbers' part. I responded to fuh because I thought it was a dumb comparison. I still think it is, so the "and yet" as if I was claiming apple products aren't the best in any metric seems misdirected. fallingcow pretty much sums up my feelings on fanboys of anything, be it tech megacorp or toilet paper brand. Everything's gotta be either zinging someone or winning imaginary points for someone, when really "some stuff got stolen from an office." It wouldn't have made the news if they couldn't spin this little angle on it.
 
2013-01-08 06:09:24 PM  

Electromax: Everything's gotta be either zinging someone or winning imaginary points for someone,


cdn.breitbart.com
Welcome to Fark?
 
2013-01-08 06:20:24 PM  

fuhfuhfuh: And the #1 most stolen vehicle for the year 2011 was the 1994 Honda Accord midsize (according to Forbes). I guess that means that the 1994 Honda Accord is the best car out there.


And most cars are stolen for their parts. There are a lot of Honda Accords out there.
 
2013-01-08 06:22:16 PM  
Because burglars are stupid.
 
2013-01-08 06:35:48 PM  

ReapTheChaos: Using your example, the only thief who would steal the Ferrari would be the one who doesn't know what the hell he's doing.


Or he knows exactly what he's doing because he's elite. Really depends on whether he intends to sell the hot item through Craigslist or a high-paying contact in eastern Europe....
 
2013-01-08 06:54:11 PM  

Electromax: Buglers steal items with highest/fasted resale opportunity around holidays. More at 11.


I thought they just played snazzy military calls.on their bugles.
 
2013-01-08 07:13:43 PM  
Could it be that the iPads were easy to grab and walk out with? Occam's razor says yes.
 
2013-01-08 07:17:52 PM  

LucklessWonder: Electromax: Buglers steal items with highest/fasted resale opportunity around holidays. More at 11.

I thought they just played snazzy military calls.on their bugles.


I'm pretty sure you can play the guitar solo to "We Will Rock You" on a bugle.
 
2013-01-08 07:20:03 PM  
So, we're getting our tech evaluations from burglars?

Should I only date women who've been raped?

I Live Like a Criminal!

GANGSTA4LIFE!
 
2013-01-08 07:29:12 PM  

ReapTheChaos: If you broke into a car showroom and there was a 1994 honda accord and a a Ferrari,


You ever tried to sell a Ferrari without the proper paperwork?
 
2013-01-08 07:34:56 PM  

friday13: Wait...what was MicroSoft's R&D doing with iPads...?


Microsoft does develop for Mac and iOS. I know Microsoft Office for iPhone & iPad is supposed to be released in the next few months, could be related to that.
 
2013-01-08 07:36:39 PM  
Damn how many times do this story need to be reposted?
 
2013-01-08 07:56:26 PM  

ProfessorOhki: The iPads were said to have been taken from an office where Microsoft develops new software for Apple products.

If it'd been hardware R&D, they'd have been walking out with 360s. Thieves LOVE 360s.


If it had been the hardware R&D they might of looked like 360's but they'd probably not play any 360 game currently on the market.
 
2013-01-08 08:01:52 PM  
This is an R&D lab, it's not a factory full of new finished product.

You're a regular Joe looking to make a quick buck, all you have is your hands, maybe a backpack and you want to maximise your income with minimal effort.

You break into a building and you see
- in one room a workbench full of parts and half stripped devices, maybe a server as well as some large machines that are up to a tonne or two,
- another is a room full of desktop computers on desks,
- and a third is a conference room full of iPads.

What do you steal?
 
2013-01-08 08:13:21 PM  

dyhchong: This is an R&D lab, it's not a factory full of new finished product.

You're a regular Joe looking to make a quick buck, all you have is your hands, maybe a backpack and you want to maximise your income with minimal effort.

You break into a building and you see
- in one room a workbench full of parts and half stripped devices, maybe a server as well as some large machines that are up to a tonne or two,
- another is a room full of desktop computers on desks,
- and a third is a conference room full of iPads.

What do you steal?


An R&D lab for Apple software no less.
 
2013-01-08 08:14:27 PM  

dyhchong: This is an R&D lab, it's not a factory full of new finished product.

You're a regular Joe looking to make a quick buck, all you have is your hands, maybe a backpack and you want to maximise your income with minimal effort.

You break into a building and you see
- in one room a workbench full of parts and half stripped devices, maybe a server as well as some large machines that are up to a tonne or two,
- another is a room full of desktop computers on desks,
- and a third is a conference room full of iPads.

What do you steal?


... the Ferrari?
 
2013-01-08 08:49:59 PM  

fuhfuhfuh: dyhchong: This is an R&D lab, it's not a factory full of new finished product.

You're a regular Joe looking to make a quick buck, all you have is your hands, maybe a backpack and you want to maximise your income with minimal effort.

You break into a building and you see
- in one room a workbench full of parts and half stripped devices, maybe a server as well as some large machines that are up to a tonne or two,
- another is a room full of desktop computers on desks,
- and a third is a conference room full of iPads.

What do you steal?

... the Ferrari?


The Ferrari's tyres squeal as the car quickly accelerates. You can't believe how smooth and powerful it is. As it drives off into the horizon, you can't help but think you would like to drive one of those one day and that you shouldn't really be distracted by things outside when you have such a small windows of opportunity.

Suddenly, you hear a knock on the door and realise your only responses possible are to,

- Launch yourself into the closest high back chair and upon entry, slowly spin around pretending to pet a cat and muttering about your expectations
- Launch yourself at the closest window and hope it breaks
- Launch into Space Oddity and hope they're a Bowie fan

What do you do?
 
2013-01-08 09:07:56 PM  

Dr.Zom: As I type this on a Compaq Presario running Vista...let's just say I understand.


There is so much fail in this statement that I completely understand you pain if that's what you are stuck using.
 
2013-01-08 09:40:29 PM  

dyhchong: This is an R&D lab, it's not a factory full of new finished product.

You're a regular Joe looking to make a quick buck, all you have is your hands, maybe a backpack and you want to maximise your income with minimal effort.

You break into a building and you see
- in one room a workbench full of parts and half stripped devices, maybe a server as well as some large machines that are up to a tonne or two,
- another is a room full of desktop computers on desks,
- and a third is a conference room full of iPads.

What do you steal?


England?
 
2013-01-08 10:06:06 PM  

friday13: Wait...what was MicroSoft's R&D doing with iPads...?


Copying them.
 
2013-01-08 10:13:21 PM  

dyhchong: fuhfuhfuh: dyhchong: This is an R&D lab, it's not a factory full of new finished product.

You're a regular Joe looking to make a quick buck, all you have is your hands, maybe a backpack and you want to maximise your income with minimal effort.

You break into a building and you see
- in one room a workbench full of parts and half stripped devices, maybe a server as well as some large machines that are up to a tonne or two,
- another is a room full of desktop computers on desks,
- and a third is a conference room full of iPads.

What do you steal?

... the Ferrari?

The Ferrari's tyres squeal as the car quickly accelerates. You can't believe how smooth and powerful it is. As it drives off into the horizon, you can't help but think you would like to drive one of those one day and that you shouldn't really be distracted by things outside when you have such a small windows of opportunity.

Suddenly, you hear a knock on the door and realise your only responses possible are to,

- Launch yourself into the closest high back chair and upon entry, slowly spin around pretending to pet a cat and muttering about your expectations
- Launch yourself at the closest window and hope it breaks
- Launch into Space Oddity and hope they're a Bowie fan

What do you do?


Ground control to major Tom
Ground control to major Tom
Take your protein pills and put your helmet on
(Ten) Ground control (Nine) to major Tom (Eight)
(Seven, six) Commencing countdown (Five), engines on (Four)
(Three, two) Check ignition (One) and may gods (Blastoff) love be with you
 
2013-01-08 10:27:05 PM  

dyhchong: fuhfuhfuh: dyhchong: This is an R&D lab, it's not a factory full of new finished product.

You're a regular Joe looking to make a quick buck, all you have is your hands, maybe a backpack and you want to maximise your income with minimal effort.

You break into a building and you see
- in one room a workbench full of parts and half stripped devices, maybe a server as well as some large machines that are up to a tonne or two,
- another is a room full of desktop computers on desks,
- and a third is a conference room full of iPads.

What do you steal?

... the Ferrari?

The Ferrari's tyres squeal as the car quickly accelerates. You can't believe how smooth and powerful it is. As it drives off into the horizon, you can't help but think you would like to drive one of those one day and that you shouldn't really be distracted by things outside when you have such a small windows of opportunity.

Suddenly, you hear a knock on the door and realise your only responses possible are to,

- Launch yourself into the closest high back chair and upon entry, slowly spin around pretending to pet a cat and muttering about your expectations
- Launch yourself at the closest window and hope it breaks
- Launch into Space Oddity and hope they're a Bowie fan

What do you do?


Screw this.

(flip a few pages ahead) You run into the courtyard and are greeted by many armed officers, who believe the banana in your hand is a gun. You spend your last seconds on Earth regretting your decision as your blood slowly drains from your body.

DAMMIT! I HATE THESE BOOKS!
 
2013-01-09 12:46:15 AM  
To be fair, the Microsoft products had been draped with a giant Microsoft "VISTA Ready" table cloth to protect them from the holday party that had happened before everyone went on vacation. I can see why the theives wouldn't have looked under that banner.
 
2013-01-09 01:27:23 AM  

fuhfuhfuh: And the #1 most stolen vehicle for the year 2011 was the 1994 Honda Accord midsize (according to Forbes). I guess that means that the 1994 Honda Accord is the best car out there.


There are a ton of them still rolling while others have long been rendered scrap.

Well built parts too.

/formerly into automotive recycling
 
2013-01-09 01:28:32 AM  

Vaneshi: ProfessorOhki: The iPads were said to have been taken from an office where Microsoft develops new software for Apple products.

If it'd been hardware R&D, they'd have been walking out with 360s. Thieves LOVE 360s.

If it had been the hardware R&D they might of looked like 360's but they'd probably not play any 360 game currently on the market.


The "desktop" is the app.

That might make sense to you.
 
2013-01-09 01:54:57 AM  

fuhfuhfuh: And the #1 most stolen vehicle for the year 2011 was the 1994 Honda Accord midsize (according to Forbes). I guess that means that the 1994 Honda Accord is the best car out there.


Old cars are easier to steal, ipads are easier to pawn, and headlines are meant to be funny.
 
2013-01-09 02:19:14 AM  

Vaneshi: ProfessorOhki: The iPads were said to have been taken from an office where Microsoft develops new software for Apple products.

If it'd been hardware R&D, they'd have been walking out with 360s. Thieves LOVE 360s.

If it had been the hardware R&D they might of looked like 360's but they'd probably not play any 360 game currently on the market.


Good point. MS has never made any accessories for the 360...
 
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