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(New York Daily News)   Got the flu? New Facebook app 'Help, I Have The Flu' finds out who the sick bastard that got you sick is   (nydailynews.com) divider line 22
    More: Sick, sleep deprivation  
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4044 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Jan 2013 at 3:23 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-08 01:39:28 PM
Next week's headline:

Facebook launches a "Help, I have the Clap!" app that allows you to find out who gave you the funk
 
2013-01-08 03:24:42 PM
I just wash my hands 80 times a day.
 
2013-01-08 03:32:04 PM

mobombhead: I just wash my hands 80 times a day.


I replaced your andi microbial soap with cultures of H1N1 and H5N1
 
2013-01-08 03:32:32 PM
Finally got a week off work and what happens? Wife gets sick. She's got it bad, too.

I'm trying to stay quarantined, but I know what's next for me...

/dammit
 
2013-01-08 03:35:15 PM
Who cares? The damage has been done, move on with life.
 
2013-01-08 03:39:02 PM

star_topology: Finally got a week off work and what happens? Wife gets sick. She's got it bad, too.

I'm trying to stay quarantined, but I know what's next for me...

/dammit


Sucks to be you.

I can't think of a worse vacation -- stuck with my damn wife.

Poor bastard....
 
2013-01-08 03:49:19 PM
Ha! Little do they know that Typhoid Gordon here stopped bothering with Facebook months ago.

/cough cough
 
2013-01-08 03:51:59 PM

star_topology: Finally got a week off work and what happens? Wife gets sick. She's got it bad, too.

I'm trying to stay quarantined, but I know what's next for me...

/dammit


Same thing happened to my wife over Xmas break. She was even sick on Xmas day! She was healthy for all of one day before she had to go back to work.
 
2013-01-08 03:53:23 PM
I never understood the practice of blaming the person you caught it from. If they're negligent, sneezing in your face or sneaking their used flatware back in to the drawer, that's one thing. But if they took the normal precautions, they're just the previous victim.
 
2013-01-08 03:53:26 PM
I was in California last week, I swear everybody there was sick with a cold. And nobody covers up when they cough or sneeze.
 
2013-01-08 04:02:58 PM
Prowler
 
2013-01-08 04:04:52 PM
Break out the full-body condoms

heidicullinan.files.wordpress.com

Seriously...

Get in the habit of not touching your face.
Get a humidifier.
Wash your farking hands.
No, really. Stop touching your face.
 
2013-01-08 04:07:02 PM
Well, in my case, it wouldn't have helped--I actually know the likely perpetrators, and they're just a bit young for Facebook (hell, one of 'em is just learning the alphabet). :P

/Dear parents: Please don't take your kids to friendly gatherings if they're ill, and especially not if you're blergy too
//especially when most of the people in that circle are diabetic (which makes one more likely to get sick), asthmatic (which can cause one to get very ill indeed, especially with this crap going around), or otherwise have chronic illnesses that can increase their risk of getting very ill
 
2013-01-08 04:11:57 PM
I say stick sick people in a bubble.  But even then it's not safe.

i.cdn.turner.com
 
2013-01-08 04:25:41 PM
grad students in Bio asking for the data in 3 2 1...
 
2013-01-08 04:25:56 PM
I was having lunch at the airport and after a couple of $12 beers, I needed to pee. Damn! Three morning cups of coffee and 40 ounces of beer! The way I arranged the newspaper and food before I got up made it look like there was still someone sitting there so they wouldn't clear the space. I got up, walked over, stepped on and held tight to the escalator railing to get to the upstairs bathroom. I hate riding those things. I keep thinking that my foot or part of my shoe will get sucked into the teeth of that stairway machine. I finally convinced my sweaty hand to let go of the rail and take a calculated step off. I had to go so bad! It was one of those times in one motion where I hurriedly entered the bathroom, fumbled at my stupid button fly searching for for my wang and approached the urinal like I was trying to be first in line for tickets to a show that was sure to sell out. AAAAAhhhhh! The release! I peed a little on my fingers just as I whipped it out and got a little splashback on my other hand from the pink urinal cookie but at this point it didn't matter. I was hoping that this was one of those impressive 90 second orgasm like flows. It was close. I was glassy eyed as I finished and made fleeting eye contact with the guy that stepped up next to me. He knew the look.
Done! Whew! I went to the sinks looking for one that didn't have too much hair, snot or pieces of wet towel in the basin. All of the soap dispensers were wet. The indicator windows didn't have that pink or blue vertical line down the center telling how much soap was left. They all looked the same. After I pumped away at several of them, it was confirmed. Empty. Now my hand was wet from everyone else's failed attempts to wash. No towels were exposed as to grab a piece and use it to operate the rest of the handles and levers in the room. fark it! Oh well. My hand was pretty dry at this point, so whatever. I fell into line with the gents leaving the bathroom and found the escalator going back down. Deep breath. Step on, hold tight. Big step off at the bottom. No big deal. I got back to my little round airport cafe table. A few buffalo wings left in the basket. Not bad for an airport snack. Just then I heard the boarding call for my flight. Finally! After sucking the last of the wing sauce from my fingers, I grabbed the paper, got up and headed to the gate and pulled my iPhone from my pocket and logged in to Fark. There was a headline about a Facebook app that will search for keywords in friends' profiles to see if they get you sick! I downloaded it.
 
2013-01-08 04:32:14 PM

Pinner: I was having lunch at the airport and after a couple of $12 beers, I needed to pee. Damn! Three morning cups of coffee and 40 ounces of beer! The way I arranged the newspaper and food before I got up made it look like there was still someone sitting there so they wouldn't clear the space. I got up, walked over, stepped on and held tight to the escalator railing to get to the upstairs bathroom. I hate riding those things. I keep thinking that my foot or part of my shoe will get sucked into the teeth of that stairway machine. I finally convinced my sweaty hand to let go of the rail and take a calculated step off. I had to go so bad! It was one of those times in one motion where I hurriedly entered the bathroom, fumbled at my stupid button fly searching for for my wang and approached the urinal like I was trying to be first in line for tickets to a show that was sure to sell out. AAAAAhhhhh! The release! I peed a little on my fingers just as I whipped it out and got a little splashback on my other hand from the pink urinal cookie but at this point it didn't matter. I was hoping that this was one of those impressive 90 second orgasm like flows. It was close. I was glassy eyed as I finished and made fleeting eye contact with the guy that stepped up next to me. He knew the look.
Done! Whew! I went to the sinks looking for one that didn't have too much hair, snot or pieces of wet towel in the basin. All of the soap dispensers were wet. The indicator windows didn't have that pink or blue vertical line down the center telling how much soap was left. They all looked the same. After I pumped away at several of them, it was confirmed. Empty. Now my hand was wet from everyone else's failed attempts to wash. No towels were exposed as to grab a piece and use it to operate the rest of the handles and levers in the room. fark it! Oh well. My hand was pretty dry at this point, so whatever. I fell into line with the gents leaving the bathroom and found the escalator going back dow ...


You're no Pocket Ninja.
 
2013-01-08 05:31:41 PM
I'm on Day 6 of this wretched flu. At least I've lost a few pounds!
 
2013-01-08 05:52:17 PM

Gone In 26 Minutes: Pinner: I was having lunch at the airport and after a couple of $12 beers, I needed to pee. Damn! Three morning cups of coffee and 40 ounces of beer! The way I arranged the newspaper and food before I got up made it look like there was still someone sitting there so they wouldn't clear the space. I got up, walked over, stepped on and held tight to the escalator railing to get to the upstairs bathroom. I hate riding those things. I keep thinking that my foot or part of my shoe will get sucked into the teeth of that stairway machine. I finally convinced my sweaty hand to let go of the rail and take a calculated step off. I had to go so bad! It was one of those times in one motion where I hurriedly entered the bathroom, fumbled at my stupid button fly searching for for my wang and approached the urinal like I was trying to be first in line for tickets to a show that was sure to sell out. AAAAAhhhhh! The release! I peed a little on my fingers just as I whipped it out and got a little splashback on my other hand from the pink urinal cookie but at this point it didn't matter. I was hoping that this was one of those impressive 90 second orgasm like flows. It was close. I was glassy eyed as I finished and made fleeting eye contact with the guy that stepped up next to me. He knew the look.
Done! Whew! I went to the sinks looking for one that didn't have too much hair, snot or pieces of wet towel in the basin. All of the soap dispensers were wet. The indicator windows didn't have that pink or blue vertical line down the center telling how much soap was left. They all looked the same. After I pumped away at several of them, it was confirmed. Empty. Now my hand was wet from everyone else's failed attempts to wash. No towels were exposed as to grab a piece and use it to operate the rest of the handles and levers in the room. fark it! Oh well. My hand was pretty dry at this point, so whatever. I fell into line with the gents leaving the bathroom and found the escalator going back dow ...

You're no Pocket Ninja.


I liked it but yeah... Nobody can compete with pocket ninja
 
2013-01-08 06:58:34 PM

star_topology: Finally got a week off work and what happens? Wife gets sick. She's got it bad, too.

I'm trying to stay quarantined, but I know what's next for me...

/dammit


You might get lucky.
Over Thanksgiving my best friend and gf was sick with a cold she got from her parents who had recently returned from Hong Kong. Instead of taking desperate measures I decided my time with her was more important than an illness and took no precautions, sharing food and kissing her and what have you as usual.  I ended up with no illness. Maybe take lots of vitamins and zinc and keep up good spirits?

\good luck
\\her sister was fairly ill too.
 
2013-01-08 07:32:26 PM
Tennis clap for creative use of the Sick tag, Subs.
 
2013-01-09 04:47:45 AM
I haven't been sick in seven years... keeping my fingers crossed
 
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