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(DFW Star-Telegram)   Myopic Texas lawmaker wants strippers to wear licenses displaying their real names and phone numbers   (star-telegram.com) divider line 152
    More: Spiffy, Texas Supreme Court, University of Texas at Arlington, public lewdness, Texas Legislature, state licenses, school vouchers, nudist colony  
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7651 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Jan 2013 at 1:17 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-08 11:43:02 AM  
"They won't want to get a license as a stripper from the state of Texas," Zedler said of his legislation. "I think it would keep a lot of girls from getting involved in that lifestyle and basically wrecking their lives.

This isn't legislating morality at all. No sir.
 
2013-01-08 11:43:49 AM  
Wait, now that I think about it.  This must be satire.  Although I'm still too lazy to check the source.
 
2013-01-08 11:47:48 AM  
"They could wear it around the neck ... or on their shoes ... or attached to a head band," Zedler suggested.

Read more here: http://www.star-telegram.com/2013/01/07/4530435/lawmakers-bill-would- l icense-strippers.html#storylink=cpy
That sounds like an awesome Photoshop thread topic.
 
2013-01-08 11:48:03 AM  
He's head of the committee to stalk and murder strippers.
 
2013-01-08 11:52:28 AM  
Wait.

You mean her name isn't Lexus?  Or Desire?  Or Ivana Humpalot?
 
2013-01-08 11:52:32 AM  
A boob by any other name would bounce as hypnotically.
 
2013-01-08 11:56:59 AM  

DjangoStonereaver: Wait.

You mean her name isn't Lexus?  Or Desire?  Or Ivana Humpalot?


Let's give it up for the girl next door, Galaxie Dextrous!!!!
 
2013-01-08 11:58:11 AM  

Cythraul: This isn't legislating morality at all. No sir.


Add this one to the foray: "This will force everyone to clean up their act," he said. "Overall, it will be a benefit to everyone concerned."

Nope. Not at all. No siree.

Read more here: http://www.star-telegram.com/2013/01/07/4530435/lawmakers-bill-would- l icense-strippers.html#storylink=cpy
 
2013-01-08 11:58:58 AM  
Ug. Crap. How'd that Read More Here get snuck in? I didn't see it in the box....
 
2013-01-08 12:00:37 PM  
That's a nice indirect way of trying to get strippers killed.
 
2013-01-08 12:05:56 PM  

GAT_00: That's a nice indirect way of trying to get strippers killed.


You kill the hookers.  You release the strippers.  It's not brain science people!!!
 
2013-01-08 12:13:47 PM  
The conservative lawmaker said he hopes the measure, if it passes, might encourage women to find another line of work.

Why? Where else are women who's parent's named them Destiny or Crystal Chandelier supposed to make a name for themselves?
 
2013-01-08 12:20:21 PM  
"They won't want to get a license as a stripper from the state of Texas,"; Zedler said of his legislation. "I think it would keep a lot of girls from getting involved in that lifestyle and basically wrecking their lives.
"This will force everyone to clean up their act," he said. "Overall, it will be a benefit to everyone concerned."



Dumbass.  I think he'd be surprised how many strippers are married or in a long-term relationship..
 
2013-01-08 12:29:59 PM  
I got about half way through the article and had to stop reading.  What does seeing boobies and snatch have to do with sexual assault on the streets?
 
2013-01-08 12:31:37 PM  

I_C_Weener: GAT_00: That's a nice indirect way of trying to get strippers killed.

You kill the hookers.  You release the strippers.  It's not brain science people!!!


"I thought you said she was a call girl?"

"Hooker, Cyril. When they're dead, they're just hookers."
 
2013-01-08 12:32:23 PM  
Great... now I'll probably have to buy uninsured stripper coverage
 
2013-01-08 12:36:10 PM  

Endive Wombat: I got about half way through the article and had to stop reading.  What does seeing boobies and snatch have to do with sexual assault on the streets?


You know how when you see nipples and your rape gland starts overacting and then you have to go do some heroin or have anonymous gay sex to prevent yourself from raping people?  It's about that.
 
2013-01-08 12:46:09 PM  
Perhaps if the licenses were in the shape of a 6 pointed star.
 
2013-01-08 12:46:20 PM  

James!: Endive Wombat: I got about half way through the article and had to stop reading.  What does seeing boobies and snatch have to do with sexual assault on the streets?

You know how when you see nipples and your rape gland starts overacting and then you have to go do some heroin or have anonymous gay sex to prevent yourself from raping people?  It's about that.


I see you've been to one of my family reunions.
 
2013-01-08 12:46:40 PM  

James!: Endive Wombat: I got about half way through the article and had to stop reading.  What does seeing boobies and snatch have to do with sexual assault on the streets?

You know how when you see nipples and your rape gland starts overacting and then you have to go do some heroin or have anonymous gay sex to prevent yourself from raping people?  It's about that.


Think Islam and burkas.  The only thing preventing women from being treated as second class citizens good for only sex and breeding is clothing people!!!  If all women were naked all the time, society would collapse.  No one would vote for a clothed president over a nude model.  If a naked cop asked you to move along, would you?  No.  And for chrissakes!!!  Without clothes, who will cook all the bacon?
 
2013-01-08 12:52:41 PM  

I_C_Weener: James!: Endive Wombat: I got about half way through the article and had to stop reading.  What does seeing boobies and snatch have to do with sexual assault on the streets?

You know how when you see nipples and your rape gland starts overacting and then you have to go do some heroin or have anonymous gay sex to prevent yourself from raping people?  It's about that.

Think Islam and burkas.  The only thing preventing women from being treated as second class citizens good for only sex and breeding is clothing people!!!  If all women were naked all the time, society would collapse.  No one would vote for a clothed president over a nude model.  If a naked cop asked you to move along, would you?  No.  And for chrissakes!!!  Without clothes, who will cook all the bacon?


Men without fear of pain will cook the bacon.  These "Bacon-Men" will be like GODS!
 
CDP [TotalFark]
2013-01-08 12:53:19 PM  
You mean the lovely Mercedes real name is Bertha La Moco?
 
2013-01-08 12:53:50 PM  

James!: I_C_Weener: James!: Endive Wombat: I got about half way through the article and had to stop reading.  What does seeing boobies and snatch have to do with sexual assault on the streets?

You know how when you see nipples and your rape gland starts overacting and then you have to go do some heroin or have anonymous gay sex to prevent yourself from raping people?  It's about that.

Think Islam and burkas.  The only thing preventing women from being treated as second class citizens good for only sex and breeding is clothing people!!!  If all women were naked all the time, society would collapse.  No one would vote for a clothed president over a nude model.  If a naked cop asked you to move along, would you?  No.  And for chrissakes!!!  Without clothes, who will cook all the bacon?

Men without fear of pain will cook the bacon.  These "Bacon-Men" will be like GODS!


Experience teaches that I am but a mere mortal
 
2013-01-08 12:58:10 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: James!: I_C_Weener: James!: Endive Wombat: I got about half way through the article and had to stop reading.  What does seeing boobies and snatch have to do with sexual assault on the streets?

You know how when you see nipples and your rape gland starts overacting and then you have to go do some heroin or have anonymous gay sex to prevent yourself from raping people?  It's about that.

Think Islam and burkas.  The only thing preventing women from being treated as second class citizens good for only sex and breeding is clothing people!!!  If all women were naked all the time, society would collapse.  No one would vote for a clothed president over a nude model.  If a naked cop asked you to move along, would you?  No.  And for chrissakes!!!  Without clothes, who will cook all the bacon?

Men without fear of pain will cook the bacon.  These "Bacon-Men" will be like GODS!

Experience teaches that I am but a mere mortal


Maybe we could design a bacon cooking stove top that looks like these:

www.bt.cdc.gov
 
2013-01-08 01:13:29 PM  
I guess my next question here is why?  What the point behind this law?  Blah, blah, blah...yeah we know it is legislating morality, but a license to prove you have paid some fee and taken a class on human trafficking?  Wha....I...I mean...I...I don't get it...What am I missing here?
 
2013-01-08 01:16:49 PM  
I guess the frustration of fake numbers has finally gotten to him
 
2013-01-08 01:18:58 PM  

Endive Wombat: I guess my next question here is why?  What the point behind this law?  Blah, blah, blah...yeah we know it is legislating morality, but a license to prove you have paid some fee and taken a class on human trafficking?  Wha....I...I mean...I...I don't get it...What am I missing here?

 
2013-01-08 01:20:38 PM  

Endive Wombat: I guess my next question here is why?  What the point behind this law?  Blah, blah, blah...yeah we know it is legislating morality, but a license to prove you have paid some fee and taken a class on human trafficking?  Wha....I...I mean...I...I don't get it...What am I missing here?


Jesus, my son.
 
2013-01-08 01:21:13 PM  
Since when does myopic=horny?
 
2013-01-08 01:22:06 PM  
I like it.
 
2013-01-08 01:22:08 PM  
Philosophical issue: If only all-nude dancers are required to wear licenses then once they put on the license it would seem that they are no longer required to wear it.
 
2013-01-08 01:22:26 PM  
Does the license look like a giant scarlet A in the middle of their chest?
 
2013-01-08 01:23:51 PM  
You could tattoo that information to their forehead and most guys still won't see it.

/And by that, I mean most guys would be staring at their tits
JC
 
2013-01-08 01:23:58 PM  

HairBolus: Philosophical issue: If only all-nude dancers are required to wear licenses then once they put on the license it would seem that they are no longer required to wear it.


Tattoos.
 
2013-01-08 01:24:26 PM  
Endive Wombat:  taken a class on human trafficking?

They have classes on that?  I always wondered how you went about getting into the human trafficking business.
 
2013-01-08 01:25:25 PM  
We could make it easy, and simply tattoo it on them, so they never have to worry about wearing it.
 
2013-01-08 01:26:01 PM  
DIFFICULT ROAD

Difficult road to ho indeed.
 
2013-01-08 01:26:39 PM  
I can't believe that nobody has suggested we Read more here: http://www.star-telegram.com/2013/01/07/4530435/lawmakers-bill-would- l icense-strippers.html#storylink=cpy

Endive Wombat: I guess my next question here is why?  What the point behind this law?  Blah, blah, blah...yeah we know it is legislating morality, but a license to prove you have paid some fee and taken a class on human trafficking?  Wha....I...I mean...I...I don't get it...What am I missing here?


You're missing nothing. The sole purpose is to legislate morality. Captain Pervy McZedler is terrified he'll succumb to temptation, go to a titty bar, and get caught / frowned on by the Sky Daddy. Rather than showing a spine, he's decided to try and legislate titties out of existence.
 
2013-01-08 01:27:11 PM  

Tommy Moo: Does the license look like a giant scarlet A in the middle of their chest?


I_C_Weener: HairBolus: Philosophical issue: If only all-nude dancers are required to wear licenses then once they put on the license it would seem that they are no longer required to wear it.

Tattoos.


It all makes sense now...
 
2013-01-08 01:27:11 PM  
I can think of something that this Texas lawmaker should wear around his neck, hopefully with the same results attained by David Carradine.
 
2013-01-08 01:28:24 PM  

James!: I_C_Weener: James!: Endive Wombat: I got about half way through the article and had to stop reading.  What does seeing boobies and snatch have to do with sexual assault on the streets?

You know how when you see nipples and your rape gland starts overacting and then you have to go do some heroin or have anonymous gay sex to prevent yourself from raping people?  It's about that.

Think Islam and burkas.  The only thing preventing women from being treated as second class citizens good for only sex and breeding is clothing people!!!  If all women were naked all the time, society would collapse.  No one would vote for a clothed president over a nude model.  If a naked cop asked you to move along, would you?  No.  And for chrissakes!!!  Without clothes, who will cook all the bacon?

Men without fear of pain will cook the bacon.  These "Bacon-Men" will be like GODS!


Splatter-free bacon cooking...
 
2013-01-08 01:29:38 PM  

HairBolus: Philosophical issue: If only all-nude dancers are required to wear licenses then once they put on the license it would seem that they are no longer required to wear it.


Whoa!
 
2013-01-08 01:30:18 PM  
8008135 bad

Guns ok

/yay america
 
2013-01-08 01:31:54 PM  
How would Texas lawmakers feel about requiring patrons to get licenses to attend strip joints, and display those licenses openly?

Probably much less enthusiastic.
 
2013-01-08 01:32:22 PM  

scottydoesntknow: The conservative lawmaker said he hopes the measure, if it passes, might encourage women to find another line of work.

Why? Where else are women who's parent's named them Destiny or Crystal Chandelier supposed to make a name for themselves?


They already have a name for themselves. They're just obeying the laws of classical nominative determination.

/Just like me, Mr. Longschlong Farksalot.
 
2013-01-08 01:32:39 PM  

asmodeus224: 8008135 bad
Guns ok
/yay america


Boobie guns are ok, too.
forladiesbyladies.com
/hot like fembots
 
2013-01-08 01:34:18 PM  
Holy farking shiat - That may be the most painfully stupid thing I've read today. And I'm thoroughly caught up on Jones and Morgan. Cantor and Beohner will be taking it up soon, I'm sure. "Hey, that sounds like a great idea". It's all about revenue generation for the Job Creators. That and trickling down on strippers has it's appeal.
 
2013-01-08 01:34:30 PM  
What this will really do:

stop the few who are actually stripping to make money to support kids from stripping.
But increase the rape deaths of the girls who do it to support drug habits.
 
2013-01-08 01:34:45 PM  
It's because it's DURRRR-DEEEEE!
 
2013-01-08 01:34:53 PM  
I can't see tags on my phone, but please say the one for this is asinine?
 
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