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(Some Guy)   Chris Kluwe is now trolling web comics   (trenchescomic.com) divider line 76
    More: Amusing, Chris Kluwe, kitchen staff, equipment manager, breakfast sandwich, Oldsmobile  
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6495 clicks; posted to Geek » on 08 Jan 2013 at 8:43 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-08 02:47:53 PM  
This was great. Chris Kluwe is a class act. Thanks, Subby.
 
2013-01-08 02:53:27 PM  
I'm a little hesitant to ask, but is he a good punter on top of everything else? I'm looking at his stats and realizing that I have no farking idea what punting stats should look like. And even then, it seems like a lot of the obviously important ones would have a lot to do with how your team as a whole was playing that year. (I.e., a punter with a lot of 60+ yard punts is getting a lot of chances from his own 10-yard line.)

I would like to hear the story of his one and only pass attempt, a glorious 27-yard completion. Yeah, it's probably the usual fake-punt thing where he just zips it at the gunner perched on the line of scrimmage, but I bet he could dress it up.
 
2013-01-08 02:57:17 PM  

semiotix: I would like to hear the story of his one and only pass attempt, a glorious 27-yard completion. Yeah, it's probably the usual fake-punt thing where he just zips it at the gunner perched on the line of scrimmage, but I bet he could dress it up.


The linebacker was |-------------------THIS------------------------| big!
 
2013-01-08 02:59:25 PM  

semiotix: I'm a little hesitant to ask, but is he a good punter on top of everything else? I'm looking at his stats and realizing that I have no farking idea what punting stats should look like. And even then, it seems like a lot of the obviously important ones would have a lot to do with how your team as a whole was playing that year. (I.e., a punter with a lot of 60+ yard punts is getting a lot of chances from his own 10-yard line.)

I would like to hear the story of his one and only pass attempt, a glorious 27-yard completion. Yeah, it's probably the usual fake-punt thing where he just zips it at the gunner perched on the line of scrimmage, but I bet he could dress it up.


return yardage is usually considered the defining stat for a punter, I think
 
2013-01-08 03:02:09 PM  
Did someone call for the Gooey 4 Kluwe brigade?

The man's writing is a delight to read. Damn, I want a Gooey 4 Kluwe jersey so much...
 
2013-01-08 03:40:59 PM  
www.3ammagazine.com
 
2013-01-08 04:00:32 PM  
I .love him for his MIND
 
2013-01-08 04:07:39 PM  

VvonderJesus: I'd wake up at any hour if I could get that breakfast daily.


This, oh this times eleventy
 
2013-01-08 04:35:04 PM  

semiotix: I'm a little hesitant to ask, but is he a good punter on top of everything else? I'm looking at his stats and realizing that I have no farking idea what punting stats should look like. And even then, it seems like a lot of the obviously important ones would have a lot to do with how your team as a whole was playing that year. (I.e., a punter with a lot of 60+ yard punts is getting a lot of chances from his own 10-yard line.)


he's good enough the vikings are replacing him, so would say yeah. it's not like most teams invest time or money in their punters. as for stats most folks consider net punting yardage a good way to judge though that could be influenced by how good the coverage team is. or you could look at punts downed inside the 20 vs. touchbacks. dropping a ball on the sideline at the 5 is a handy skill for a punter.
 
2013-01-08 05:03:59 PM  

sotua: VvonderJesus: I'd wake up at any hour if I could get that breakfast daily.

This, oh this times eleventy


Damn skippy.
 
2013-01-08 05:30:59 PM  

A Fark Handle: he's good enough the vikings are replacing him, so would say yeah.


Is uh... is being replaced usually the reward for excellence?
 
2013-01-08 06:16:06 PM  

evilmrsock: A Fark Handle: he's good enough the vikings are replacing him, so would say yeah.

Is uh... is being replaced usually the reward for excellence?


I think he meant the Vikings aren't replacing him (according to Wiki, he's signed through next season. When he signed his extension, he was in the top ten in salary for punters).
 
2013-01-08 06:22:56 PM  

evilmrsock: A Fark Handle: he's good enough the vikings are replacing him, so would say yeah.

Is uh... is being replaced usually the reward for excellence?


Depends whether they want to make salary room and he's too good to afford.

Good news for punters: they'll always be needed. Bad news: there's hundreds of guys who are "good enough" for the job to do yours for less.
 
2013-01-08 06:46:38 PM  

evilmrsock: Is uh... is being replaced usually the reward for excellence?


It was for the poor bastard I replaced.
 
2013-01-08 07:21:44 PM  
Hearing on NFL network that he needs surgery during the offseason. I has a sad
 
2013-01-08 09:28:59 PM  
Well it's not like he has anything else to do for the next 7 months.
 
2013-01-08 10:41:11 PM  

Bunny Deville: Hearing on NFL network that he needs surgery during the offseason. I has a sad


You should tweet an offer to shave him for his upcoming surgery. Tell him you'll be really thorough.

/his wife might object
 
2013-01-09 12:04:07 AM  
I can't believe nobody picked up that he was on Colbert tonight (myself included). Might explain the link. It wasn't as good of an interview as I was hoping for, but it wasn't bad.
 
2013-01-09 01:44:36 AM  

evilmrsock: A Fark Handle: he's good enough the vikings are replacing him, so would say yeah.

Is uh... is being replaced usually the reward for excellence?


sorry. i sometimes miss the "not" and "n't". but yeah, i meant they aren't replacing him...
 
2013-01-09 04:04:18 AM  

semiotix: I would like to hear the story of his one and only pass attempt, a glorious 27-yard completion. Yeah, it's probably the usual fake-punt thing where he just zips it at the gunner perched on the line of scrimmage, but I bet he could dress it up.


To answer my own question, fake FG shovel pass, according to his team bio.

Among the many, many reasons I couldn't be a football player (and I'm not counting stupid, irrelevant things like the fact that I can't bench press the bar they put the weights on, or how I get bruises from wearing heavy sweaters) is my lack of discipline. If I were the holder, every FG would become a fake FG.

I have other great ideas, too. Like, on kickoffs, instead of the traditional hop-and-flop onside kick, why not kick a line drive as fast as humanly possible square at one of the guys on the line ten yards away? No way they can field it cleanly or signal for a fair catch in time. With a little luck it'd bounce right back at you.

Also, we don't see enough laterals or two-point conversions. But we don't get any laterals on two-point conversions, obviously a huge oversight. I've drawn up a modified center-eligible flea-flicker specifically to be used for that situation.

Man, Kluwe and I should collaborate. With his showmanship and my innate football genius, we could revolutionize the game.
 
2013-01-09 04:31:12 AM  
I liked a few "tales from the trenches" but they're basically just "my job sucks; my boss is a moron."
 
2013-01-09 08:16:52 AM  
that reminded me of the song "the lonesome kicker" by adam sandler.

"people think it's so easy to kick a field goal from the 30 yard line ...
... but they forget to add 7 yards for the snap, and 10 more cause the goal posts are pushed way back ..."
 
2013-01-09 10:34:00 AM  

semiotix: semiotix: ***snip***

Also, we don't see enough laterals or two-point conversions. But we don't get any laterals on two-point conversions, obviously a huge oversight. I've drawn up a modified center-eligible flea-flicker specifically to be used for that situation.

Man, Kluwe and I should collaborate. With his showmanship and my innate football genius, we could revolutionize the game.


Can you call pointless timeouts? If so, you may want to check the wanted ads in Philly.
 
2013-01-09 11:55:22 AM  

semiotix: I have other great ideas, too. Like, on kickoffs, instead of the traditional hop-and-flop onside kick, why not kick a line drive as fast as humanly possible square at one of the guys on the line ten yards away? No way they can field it cleanly or signal for a fair catch in time. With a little luck it'd bounce right back at you.


I like this idea.
 
2013-01-09 03:48:25 PM  

semiotix:
I've drawn up a modified center-eligible flea-flicker specifically to be used for that situation.


thefilmstage.com

They'll be expecting it.
 
2013-01-10 02:04:44 AM  
This guy is awesome. I grew up playing sports; played basketball in high school, still love baseball, basketball, football, but I always hated the dumb jock mentality.

It's always refreshing to see an athlete who's a bit outside the norm.
 
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