If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Ledger-Enquirer)   Georgia cops take screaming, naked man for psychiatric evaluation after he tells them he lives in heaven. To your right, comparisons of heaven and Fort Benning, from people who've been to either   (ledger-enquirer.com) divider line 57
    More: Amusing, psychological evaluation, Ford Crown Victoria, screaming  
•       •       •

2095 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Jan 2013 at 9:42 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



57 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-01-08 08:36:46 AM
Maybe he does.

thisdistractedglobe.com
 
2013-01-08 08:49:42 AM
Did he have a samurai sword?  No?  Then I am not interested.
 
2013-01-08 09:29:20 AM
i've driven through fort benning. all i remember is a shiatload of check cashing places and pawn shops. it was really sad.
 
2013-01-08 09:45:18 AM
Maybe he once lived in Detroit.
 
2013-01-08 09:48:02 AM
Heaven isn't the first thing that comes to mind.....

Linky
 
2013-01-08 09:49:51 AM
bath salts?
 
2013-01-08 09:53:26 AM

FlashHarry: i've driven through fort benning. all i remember is a shiatload of check cashing places and pawn shops. it was really sad.


And strip clubs... lots and lots of strip clubs.

/Probably is even one named Heaven.
 
2013-01-08 09:59:31 AM

EngineerAU: FlashHarry: i've driven through fort benning. all i remember is a shiatload of check cashing places and pawn shops. it was really sad.

And strip clubs... lots and lots of strip clubs.

/Probably is even one named Heaven.


If not a club, probably a stripper.

/definitely one named Nevaeh
//I'd lay money on that
 
2013-01-08 09:59:39 AM

EngineerAU: FlashHarry: i've driven through fort benning. all i remember is a shiatload of check cashing places and pawn shops. it was really sad.

And strip clubs... lots and lots of strip clubs.

/Probably is even one named Heaven.


Clubs or dancers, because "Heaven" is quite a popular name amongst the Pole-Dancer American demographic*.& you'd have to figure there would be scads in in place like Ft. Benning.

*or so I've heard.
 
2013-01-08 10:01:39 AM
There are some farked up people in Ft. Benning, a while back a soldier was murdered right after returning from Iraq (2003 I believe). He was dismembered & doused in lighter fluid and burned, and they refused to search for him saying he was a deserter. After some pleading from his family, they finally searched the area around and found his remains. He was killed for reporting a rape in Iraq, allegedly.

There was a story out yesterday about a current trainee there who murdered his infant son, also. Timothy McVeigh is a product of Benning, and I know in the past 3 years there have been 4 or 5 murder suicides.
 
2013-01-08 10:04:10 AM

StreetlightInTheGhetto: EngineerAU: FlashHarry: i've driven through fort benning. all i remember is a shiatload of check cashing places and pawn shops. it was really sad.

And strip clubs... lots and lots of strip clubs.

/Probably is even one named Heaven.

If not a club, probably a stripper.

/definitely one named Nevaeh
//I'd lay money on that


Towards the end of my time living on Fort Benning (in a house that had its own indoor waterfall during every rain storm, and cockroaches breeding in the dishwasher when we moved in) they were closing down the strip clubs that were falsely operating under restaurant licenses.

And, don't forget the "massage" parlours.

shiat hole of a place, and that includes base. Though the folks in the hospital were always nice.
 
2013-01-08 10:08:07 AM
I haven't been there in quite a few years. But one of my friends is stationed there. He just texted me and said there were reports of a man weilding a rifle in front of Infantry Hall.
 
2013-01-08 10:15:26 AM
I havent been to Benning in years but I recall it being a shiathole. Or was that Ft. Stewart? I can never remember.
 
2013-01-08 10:23:30 AM
My husband was there during OCS. Its a hole, and I hope we are never stationed there again.
 
2013-01-08 10:27:06 AM

ImRonBurgundy: I haven't been there in quite a few years. But one of my friends is stationed there. He just texted me and said there were reports of a man weilding a rifle in front of Infantry Hall.


Is it abnormal to see someone with a rifle outside "Infantry Hall?"  It sounds like something you'd expect.
 
2013-01-08 10:28:59 AM

SquiggsIN: bath salts?


Nah, you'd want this teenager (sadly redlit) up in New England for that sort of stuff.

/6 taserings, pepper spray, 4 cops for the takedown...
 
2013-01-08 10:29:01 AM
Compared to Phenix City, Ft. Benning would be heaven. Like most, that's a year I'll never get back.
 
2013-01-08 10:29:26 AM

dbirchall: ImRonBurgundy: I haven't been there in quite a few years. But one of my friends is stationed there. He just texted me and said there were reports of a man weilding a rifle in front of Infantry Hall.

Is it abnormal to see someone with a rifle outside "Infantry Hall?"  It sounds like something you'd expect.


dicksworld.files.wordpress.com It's a joke they play on MPs
 
2013-01-08 10:32:07 AM
Meth is a hell of a drug.
 
2013-01-08 10:50:21 AM

dbirchall: ImRonBurgundy: I haven't been there in quite a few years. But one of my friends is stationed there. He just texted me and said there were reports of a man weilding a rifle in front of Infantry Hall.

Is it abnormal to see someone with a rifle outside "Infantry Hall?"  It sounds like something you'd expect.


Generally speaking, on domestic bases, the only ones you'll see with rifles or sidearms are MPs, SFs, SPs and the like... also sometimes the private security contractors (don't even get me farking started on them).
 
2013-01-08 10:52:55 AM
I went to basic training and AIT at Fort Benning, and I have to say, heaven is not the first word that comes to mind.
 
2013-01-08 10:56:16 AM
I actually volunteered to go there after a 3 week stint at jump school, I didnt think it was that bad. Sort of like Anytown, USA. Then I grew up and am glad I didnt get an assignment to that racist shiathole.
 
2013-01-08 10:56:53 AM
Well, Fort Benning was not my idea of Heaven, I can tell you that ...

But I did learn how to send the enemy to Hell
Oh, did I ever
 
2013-01-08 11:16:21 AM
All relative, spent 2 years there, E-1 to E-3. Remember mostly the good times, beautiful weather. Working hard & partying even harder. Discovered a pond at a quarry near base & hung out there a lot with our girls. Nakedness & screaming was acceptable there, but not in town. We frequented mostly dive bars with loud or live music. Learned early that money will get you laid, but personality will get you laid more.
 
2013-01-08 11:17:28 AM

malaktaus: I went to basic training and AIT at Fort Benning, and I have to say, heaven is not the first word that comes to mind.


Privatey-Private like typing detected.

/Went through basic in the middle of July at Benning. Much closer to hell than heaven, I am sure.
//Drill sergeants could be some funny motherfarkers when they weren't making you hate life
 
2013-01-08 11:28:34 AM
I did some annual training down there and just remember the churches, pay day loans, fast food, etc lining the streets. Also the hellish heat, but I did basic in Missouri so I knew all about hot humid hell before hand. The one good memory was capturing a black widow in a gatorade bottle and having it fight local bugs. A giant red ant did pretty well, a beetle with huge jaws ripped that black widow in half.
 
2013-01-08 11:39:07 AM

BitwiseShift: Compared to Phenix City, Ft. Benning would be heaven. Like most, that's a year I'll never get back.


Phenix is still worse? In the olden days Ft. Benning was fairly classy because you had to cross the AL border to find your lowlifes and sin in Phenix City:

"Phenix City was notorious during the 1940s and 1950s as being a haven for organized crime, prostitution, and gambling. Many of its customers came from the United States Army training center at Fort Benning, Georgia. The leaders of the crime syndicate in Phenix City were Jimmie Matthews and Hoyt Sheppard. Albert Patterson, from Phenix City, was elected to become attorney general of Alabama on a platform of reforming the city, but was brutally shot down outside his office on 14th Street. As a result, the city had a negative reputation, and many people still associate this legacy with Phenix City."
 
2013-01-08 12:06:55 PM
I'm not reading this because this headline makes me feel too sad. I have a psychotic illness and I really couldn't laugh about it if the article is about someone who really lost it. Even if they were on farking bath salts or something.

Sorry, been a long day.
 
2013-01-08 12:14:52 PM

ImRonBurgundy: I haven't been there in quite a few years. But one of my friends is stationed there. He just texted me and said there were reports of a man weilding a rifle in front of Infantry Hall.


There's a statue just like that at Fort Gordon, except he's holding a golf club and saying "Play through!"
 
2013-01-08 12:37:11 PM

RicosRoughnecks: I did some annual training down there and just remember the churches, pay day loans, fast food, etc lining the streets. Also the hellish heat, but I did basic in Missouri so I knew all about hot humid hell before hand. The one good memory was capturing a black widow in a gatorade bottle and having it fight local bugs. A giant red ant did pretty well, a beetle with huge jaws ripped that black widow in half.

Sounds like someone never made it past Victory Dr.
Columbus has gentrified in the last 20 years, but having Ft. Benning bottle the city from the South and East, and having the natual barrier of the state line to the West, it can only grow North. This has caused an incredible amount of neglect to the south side of Columbus.
 
2013-01-08 12:45:11 PM
Maybe if Ft. Benning were to, say, give up 40 square miles of land to the east where artillery training happens (which is across the street from my office, by the way) and move it to the middle of Cusseta, Ga...then maybe Columbus would see more rapid growth and not look so destitute when you immediately drive off base.

Columbus benefits greatly from having Ft. Benning there, but the intersection of Ft. Benning an Columbus reflects the type of consumption soldiers traditionally partook in when immediately off base from the '50's throught the 70's: tattoo parlors, military surplus, "hotels", payday loan stores, pron shops. It's changed a lot now, especially with the prosstitution crackdown in the '80's, but it's still seedy.
 
2013-01-08 12:48:37 PM
Getting back on topic, Columbus is an eclectic mix of downtrodden blacks and downtrodden whites, with the "middle-class" working stiffs trying to eke out a living at one of the major companies in town. The cops are terrible and I'm not surprised that there's mental illness everywhere here.

But yeah...meth is a hell of a drug.
 
2013-01-08 12:53:20 PM
No worse than the gentleman that was on "weekend vacation" at his folks house that got up in the middle of the night and left. We found him walking up the main road at 1am, carrying a suitcase, butt naked. Very polite man but apparently, the air force base next door to his parents house scared him cause the last time he heard helicopters he was picked up by one and taken to a facility where they surgically removed his testicles and implanted them in his anus....

I pointed out that his testicles were in plain sight. He countered with they had inserted golf balls to replace the testicles. He even offered to let me feel the "golf ball dimples". I kindly declined and returned him to his parents house.
 
2013-01-08 01:01:10 PM
Drive through there every time I make the trip from Houston to my grandparents' place. Tattoos, strippers, pawn shops, military surplus, fast food, cheap motels. It's all been mentioned.

If you like sleaze, I imagine it's not a bad place to be.
 
2013-01-08 01:06:29 PM
CSB time/
Before they started posting MPs downtown on regular weekend detail, Broadway was full of guys on leave spoiling to get drunk and get a girl, or fight, or get drunk and fight over a girl, etc.

One late night, we're all at my wife's parents' house, which is three blocks from downtown, and there was a knock at the door. A clearly inebrated soldier invited himself inside, calling himself a "Hollywood paratrooper", and claimed he'd been dropped from a plane, landed on the roof, and shimmied down the side of the house to knock on the door. We were clearly stunned, but he didn't seem to pose an immediate threat. We had him in and gave him some coffee.

A little while later another knock on the door, and his wife showed up in tears, begging us to tell her if we'd seen her husband. We managed to call his CO and get him back on base before any serious stuff hit the fan, but yeah...fun night.
 
2013-01-08 01:31:37 PM
I worked in a mill with Bibb City inhabitants.
Going home to Columbus every night was a blessing....and Ft. Benning was a fun place to play as a brat.

/heard the mill burned down a few years ago. Too bad.
 
2013-01-08 01:42:36 PM

EngineerAU: FlashHarry: i've driven through fort benning. all i remember is a shiatload of check cashing places and pawn shops. it was really sad.

And strip clubs... lots and lots of strip clubs.

/Probably is even one named Heaven.


Not anymore. Most of the strip clubs have closed down.

/yeaah I still live here in columbus
// it's really not that bad.
 
2013-01-08 01:52:14 PM

mouser_inc: EngineerAU: FlashHarry: i've driven through fort benning. all i remember is a shiatload of check cashing places and pawn shops. it was really sad.

And strip clubs... lots and lots of strip clubs.

/Probably is even one named Heaven.

Not anymore. Most of the strip clubs have closed down.

/yeaah I still live here in columbus
// it's really not that bad.


Columbus, Ga FARK party? There's the new outdoor rooftop bar right next to The Cannon...
 
2013-01-08 02:04:59 PM

kumanoki: mouser_inc: EngineerAU: FlashHarry: i've driven through fort benning. all i remember is a shiatload of check cashing places and pawn shops. it was really sad.

And strip clubs... lots and lots of strip clubs.

/Probably is even one named Heaven.

Not anymore. Most of the strip clubs have closed down.

/yeaah I still live here in columbus
// it's really not that bad.

Columbus, Ga FARK party? There's the new outdoor rooftop bar right next to The Cannon...


That would be awesome. Either there or the Downtown Tap.
 
2013-01-08 02:23:12 PM
The Tap? We're in good with Larry. We can throw a FARK-themed party there, no doubt.

If any of you Farkers are in the nearby area and want to hang out, I'll organize this thing. EIB

Somebody get Drew on speed-dial, it's going to get stanky downtown.

(Afterparty at Lil' Kim's Cove near the Hwy 27 overpass for self-loathing, karaoke, and knife fights.)
 
2013-01-08 02:39:22 PM

kumanoki: The Tap? We're in good with Larry. We can throw a FARK-themed party there, no doubt.

If any of you Farkers are in the nearby area and want to hang out, I'll organize this thing. EIB

Somebody get Drew on speed-dial, it's going to get stanky downtown.

(Afterparty at Lil' Kim's Cove near the Hwy 27 overpass for self-loathing, karaoke, and knife fights.)


Sweet. Looked for an email didnt see one courese im on fark mobile so that might be why. EIP and i will help out as i can.
 
2013-01-08 02:55:02 PM

kumanoki: mouser_inc: EngineerAU: FlashHarry: i've driven through fort benning. all i remember is a shiatload of check cashing places and pawn shops. it was really sad.

And strip clubs... lots and lots of strip clubs.

/Probably is even one named Heaven.

Not anymore. Most of the strip clubs have closed down.

/yeaah I still live here in columbus
// it's really not that bad.

Columbus, Ga FARK party? There's the new outdoor rooftop bar right next to The Cannon...


Does the PTL still exist?

/SO's company is headquartered in Columbus. Laughed my ass off when I found out. He would like to move to the states some day, I'd rather not move back to the area for bad memories reasons.
 
2013-01-08 02:59:09 PM

thisone: kumanoki: mouser_inc: EngineerAU: FlashHarry: i've driven through fort benning. all i remember is a shiatload of check cashing places and pawn shops. it was really sad.

And strip clubs... lots and lots of strip clubs.

/Probably is even one named Heaven.

Not anymore. Most of the strip clubs have closed down.

/yeaah I still live here in columbus
// it's really not that bad.

Columbus, Ga FARK party? There's the new outdoor rooftop bar right next to The Cannon...

Does the PTL still exist?

/SO's company is headquartered in Columbus. Laughed my ass off when I found out. He would like to move to the states some day, I'd rather not move back to the area for bad memories reasons.


Oh my god, the PTL! I remember that place! No, it's gone gone gone. I think it's a spa now.
 
2013-01-08 03:02:10 PM
thisone:
/SO's company is headquartered in Columbus. Laughed my ass off when I found out. He would like to move to the states some day, I'd rather not move back to the area for bad memories reasons.

If your SO is Japanese, then we work for the same company.
 
2013-01-08 03:04:31 PM
Holy crap - that many of us Columbusites on FARK? Who knew?
 
2013-01-08 03:24:43 PM

kumanoki: thisone:
/SO's company is headquartered in Columbus. Laughed my ass off when I found out. He would like to move to the states some day, I'd rather not move back to the area for bad memories reasons.

If your SO is Japanese, then we work for the same company.


Nah, British.
 
2013-01-08 03:26:59 PM

kumanoki: Oh my god, the PTL! I remember that place! No, it's gone gone gone. I think it's a spa now.


ahh, too bad. From the gossip I heard, there was a lot of not asking and not telling going on there.
 
2013-01-08 04:16:17 PM

WordyGrrl: ImRonBurgundy: I haven't been there in quite a few years. But one of my friends is stationed there. He just texted me and said there were reports of a man weilding a rifle in front of Infantry Hall.

There's a statue just like that at Fort Gordon, except he's holding a golf club and saying "Play through!"


Fort Gordon: The only base named after a KKK leader. I spent many a year there.
 
2013-01-08 04:26:41 PM

thisone: kumanoki: Oh my god, the PTL! I remember that place! No, it's gone gone gone. I think it's a spa now.

ahh, too bad. From the gossip I heard, there was a lot of not asking and not telling going on there.


It was a little before my time, but it wasn't really my scene. I think I went in there once. They opened a GBLT friendly place on Broadway a couple of years ago and I went to a hilariously bad drag show one night. Ever since we've had the baby we haven't been downtown to socialize much. We went down there for New Years'.
 
2013-01-08 05:02:25 PM
Ft. Benning, across the river from Phenix City, Alabama... which my father calls, "The Armpit of the South".
 
Displayed 50 of 57 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report