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(Daily Mail)   New Taylor Swift album expected soon   ( dailymail.co.uk) divider line
    More: Obvious, romance  
•       •       •

4635 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 07 Jan 2013 at 11:47 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



74 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2013-01-07 07:17:55 PM  
Great.  Now my daughter will think she has a chance again with this mop-headed nutless crooner.

Styles, that is.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-01-07 07:21:45 PM  
I'm beginning to see a young Jennifer Aniston. Attractive, successful, can't keep a man.

Yes, I think she's attractive even if she does look like a plastic doll in most of her publicity shots.
 
2013-01-07 08:02:49 PM  
Not sure I agree.  Who says Jennifer Aniston can't keep a man?  Just because Brad Pitt left her and stayed with the woman he left her for doesn't mean she had to stay with the first guy she dated after Pitt.

Male celebs go from woman to woman and they aren't pilloried for it.  They might be suspected as being gay by whoever in Hollywood gossip circles really really wants everyone in Hollywood to be gay though.

Anyway, no point in continuing my white-knighting of Aniston as she is engaged now.

Taylor Swift looks like an alien.
 
2013-01-07 08:41:09 PM  
That boat pic may be the greatest Forever Alone ever.
 
2013-01-07 08:44:32 PM  

I think Taylor Swift would look better if she did something different with her hair and lost the eye makeup that makes her look like she's constantly squinting.  I like that she favors the 50s/60s silhouette, but she needs to update it a bit to look more modern.

My $0.02.
 
2013-01-07 08:47:46 PM  
She's 23 and can't even keep 18-year-old guys.  Do you know how rare it is for a 23-year-old girl to be dating an 18-year-old guy?  And how embarrassing it would be for the girl to be dumped by the younger guy?
 
2013-01-07 08:50:54 PM  
She needs boobs.
 
2013-01-07 08:54:29 PM  
I don't think this the right time to discuss abortion.
 
2013-01-07 08:57:32 PM  
...album is coming out...

or, analbum cover...
 
2013-01-07 09:01:39 PM  
Taylor Swift needs a dog for companionship ... she is impossibly rich and famous, no real man would be able to live with that.
 
2013-01-07 09:05:03 PM  
Maybe she wouldn't let him finish.
 
2013-01-07 09:10:14 PM  
A Swift album, quickly then.
 
2013-01-07 09:32:48 PM  
She should probably stop banging 18 year olds if she wants her relationships to last more than a month.
 
2013-01-07 09:41:37 PM  
You guys are saying all these negative things, but I would hit it like the fist of god.

Hell yes.

/Taylor Swift's music may suck, but ..damn....
 
2013-01-07 09:44:04 PM  
Wait, I could have sworn I heard she was swooning over one of the Kennedy brood just last week.


AdolfOliverPanties: Taylor Swift looks like an alien.


Close. Gelfling.

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-01-07 10:06:05 PM  
fusillade762: Close. Gelfling.

both at the same time
 
2013-01-07 10:36:40 PM  
What can I say? I'm just a tough act to follow.
She used to call my wing-wang "the reason for the season", and thinks of it every time she hears a Christmas carol.
 
2013-01-07 11:20:10 PM  

Two days later......

media.tumblr.com
"ZOMG! I've done recording!"

 
2013-01-07 11:39:10 PM  
Now in pre-release:
i487.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-07 11:52:37 PM  
Furious row? Like he jumped into the lifeboat and rowed away furiously?
 
2013-01-07 11:57:48 PM  
I'm going to have a bowel movement - expected soon...

\hope it's going to go gold!
\\wish me luck, chaps!
 
2013-01-08 12:04:16 AM  

ZAZ: I'm beginning to see a young Jennifer Aniston. Attractive, successful, can'tkeepaman.

Yes, I think she's attractive even if she does look like a plastic doll in most of her publicity shots.


It's just a img.youtube.com
 
2013-01-08 12:13:37 AM  
If someone I was dating went partying on Branson's island without me I'd be none too pleased either.

But seriously, Taylor should just become a lesbian already. The way I look at it, either this is all PR bearding, and she never actually has dated anyone except John Meyer and possibly a few no names, and she is doing this to cover that she actually is a secret lesbian with princess fantasies, or Taylor is freaking TERRIBLE at relationships with men and needs to stop already. If she finds another woman of the Overly Attached type they can start naming all their future babies after being together for two weeks without the other girl freaking out.

Plus, bonus, lesbian breakups are the worst, so if she and Overly Attached break up it will be a double album worth of stuff, at least.
 
2013-01-08 12:20:27 AM  
It couldn't have been true love. She didn't even buy any real estate.
 
2013-01-08 12:21:14 AM  

AdolfOliverPanties: Not sure I agree.  Who says Jennifer Aniston can't keep a man?  Just because Brad Pitt left her and stayed with the woman he left her for doesn't mean she had to stay with the first guy she dated after Pitt.

Male celebs go from woman to woman and they aren't pilloried for it.  They might be suspected as being gay by whoever in Hollywood gossip circles really really wants everyone in Hollywood to be gay though.

Anyway, no point in continuing my white-knighting of Aniston as she is engaged now.

Taylor Swift looks like an alien.


Cool, Jennifer Aniston posts on Fark.

/do you know Kirsten Dunst?
 
2013-01-08 12:26:05 AM  

ambercat: If someone I was dating went partying on Branson's island without me I'd be none too pleased either.

But seriously, Taylor should just become a lesbian already. The way I look at it, either this is all PR bearding, and she never actually has dated anyone except John Meyer and possibly a few no names, and she is doing this to cover that she actually is a secret lesbian with princess fantasies, or Taylor is freaking TERRIBLE at relationships with men and needs to stop already. If she finds another woman of the Overly Attached type they can start naming all their future babies after being together for two weeks without the other girl freaking out.

Plus, bonus, lesbian breakups are the worst, so if she and Overly Attached break up it will be a double album worth of stuff, at least.


I think she's a professional beard, but I doubt it's a mutual bearding thing. She knows that her breakup songs sell albums and if there's one thing she's actually good at, it's self-promotion. Rather than having all the messy bits that come from real relationships with real breakups, it's easier to have bearding relationships arranged by agents and contracted to last a certain length of time. When the contract ends, she gets the breakup that will sell albums without the actual heartbreak, the guy gets a song or songs written about him that help bolster his image of heterosexuality, and it's a win win for everybody. The Kennedy kid was probably a real relationship, since there's no real reason for an 18 year old high school student to get himself a celebrity beard even if he is a Kennedy, and the John Mayer hookup was probably real, but the rest are questionable. I mean, when you're involved with the Jonas Brother who everybody thinks is gay, Jake Gyllenhaal, Harry Styles (who keeps getting photographed playing grabass with one of his bandmates), that sure looks like being a professional beard.
 
2013-01-08 12:41:20 AM  
Then I called her a biatch
And she said I was right
And slammed the door behind her
So I took up drinking full-time
and cried lots

Would you go home with me?
Won't you go home with me?
I can make you happy...for awhile

shiat, writing this crap is easy! where's my recording contract?!?
 
2013-01-08 12:45:18 AM  
Taylor Swift in a nutshell.

/ Shamelessly stolen from Reddit.
 
2013-01-08 12:50:23 AM  
It's hard to believe America's Ratface can't keep a man:

t3.gstatic.com
 
2013-01-08 01:08:40 AM  
I guess this means it isn't safe to go into the supermarket checkout aisles next month because the covers of all of the magazines will be telling the terrible tales of po' old broken hearted Taylor Swift.
 
2013-01-08 01:13:42 AM  
You folks are just upset she hasn't shown the goods yet, Give her time....
 
2013-01-08 01:29:57 AM  

AdolfOliverPanties: Great.  Now my daughter will think she has a chance again with this mop-headed nutless crooner.

Styles, that is.


I told my kid that now she'll lose Niall to Harry.

/I call them Gay Direction
//She would be ok with that (she thinks "Niarry" would be cute together)
///Kid is weird
 
2013-01-08 02:16:31 AM  

Kurmudgeon: You folks are just upset she hasn't shown the goods yet, Give her time....


FTFY
 
2013-01-08 02:18:09 AM  
Taylor... I'm trying my darndest over here to put a good case up in your favor here, and maybe try and get people to not call you a bunny boiler and a whore and a slut and try to tamp down the 'break up with people so you can write songs about them' stuff. I know that's not the intent and you're just really really sucky at romance, as you yourself admit. Especially given that you... were also the one who advised Selena Gomez to get back together with Justin Bieber even after he posed for a picture with some random Hungarian model.

That all said... Taylor? Tay? T-Swizzle?

www.patentspostgrant.com
 
2013-01-08 02:22:48 AM  
By the way, the article states this happened January 4th. Which probably explains this Twitter post from Taylor:

Taylor Swift @taylorswift13 5 Jan

...'til you put me down.
 
2013-01-08 02:37:33 AM  
Her Guitar Hero avatar looks more lifelike than the real Swift.
 
2013-01-08 02:57:40 AM  
Hey Taylor ... [big breath in] ...

... maybe you should try staying single for a while and figuring out what makes you happy outside a relationship.

You know, just a thought. I know it would hurt your album sales for a while but maybe we might begin to think you're not a vapid, spoiled, boy-crazy twat in the process.

Heck, maybe you can find something else to write songs about. Like friends or looking good to go out or life on tour, you know, anything other than whining about boys and relationships. It may allow you to develop, er, show a little depth. Because right now, given your looks and the way you've run through men, you're starting to look like your entire life and career is based upon your being a vapid, spoiled, boy-crazy twat. And it's turning you into a joke.
 
2013-01-08 03:41:50 AM  
img27.imageshack.us
 
2013-01-08 03:49:06 AM  

Pfighting Polish: You know, just a thought. I know it would hurt your album sales for a while but maybe we might begin to think you're not a vapid, spoiled, boy-crazy twat in the process.


What's wrong with being boy crazy? Playing the field works for Leonardo DiCaprio and George Clooney and nobody gives a damn (sometimes I envy them). Maybe she doesn't give a shiat about a relationship but her publicist is the one telling her to ham it up and act like the hurt girl that makes them a fortune. Does she even write her own songs? I have never bothered to look, but I thought that a lot of times, writers wrote generic songs that are sold to the record labels, to assign to the flavor-of-the-month.
 
2013-01-08 04:06:29 AM  

AdolfOliverPanties: Great. Now my daughter will think she has a chance again with this mop-headed nutless crooner.


Your daughter has a thing for Taylor Swift?
 
2013-01-08 04:11:18 AM  

Gig103: What's wrong with being boy crazy? Playing the field works for Leonardo DiCaprio and George Clooney and nobody gives a damn (sometimes I envy them). Maybe she doesn't give a shiat about a relationship but her publicist is the one telling her to ham it up and act like the hurt girl that makes them a fortune. Does she even write her own songs? I have never bothered to look, but I thought that a lot of times, writers wrote generic songs that are sold to the record labels, to assign to the flavor-of-the-month.


A) Gender double standard. When a guy does it, it's being a playboy. When a girl does it, it's being a slut.
B) She's said she tries to keep fairly solid control of most of her life, but deliberately leaves her love life open for whatever happens.
C) She has at minimum a co-write on every song she's ever put out, and her previous album got some level of notoriety for Taylor having written every single word herself. It's her whole MO: she considers her songs as de facto diary entries. You can't have someone else write your diary for you.
D) Taylor pretty much IS her record label. She was the very first artist signed by the guy who runs it, Scott Borchetta. There are other bands in there too in, notable ones even- I'm looking right now and I see Rascal Flatts, Tim McGraw, Reba McEntire, The Band Perry, Martina McBride, Florida Georgia Line, they're releasing the soundtrack from Nashville, apparently they snapped up that girl RaeLynn from The Voice- but it's still very much the Taylor Swift Show and Borchetta knows it. None of those other artists are there if Taylor's not there.
 
2013-01-08 04:15:40 AM  

Gig103: Pfighting Polish: You know, just a thought. I know it would hurt your album sales for a while but maybe we might begin to think you're not a vapid, spoiled, boy-crazy twat in the process.

What's wrong with being boy crazy? Playing the field works for Leonardo DiCaprio and George Clooney and nobody gives a damn (sometimes I envy them). Maybe she doesn't give a shiat about a relationship but her publicist is the one telling her to ham it up and act like the hurt girl that makes them a fortune. Does she even write her own songs? I have never bothered to look, but I thought that a lot of times, writers wrote generic songs that are sold to the record labels, to assign to the flavor-of-the-month.


DiCaprio and Clooney generally make it longer than a month or two with their chicks. Also, DiCaprio and Clooney don't go house hunting in their flavor-of-the-moment's neighborhood after a month like Taylor Swift has done twice now. Not to mention that DiCaprio and Clooney don't dish all sorts of dirt in song once they break up with their latest conquests.

Besides, it's not so much that she's going out with so many guys, at her age playing the field is normal. What's not normal and is why people think she's a bunny boiler, is that she seems to think that each of her flings is her true love that's meant to be forever and ever and ever after a month.
 
2013-01-08 05:03:05 AM  

Gosling:
A) Gender double standard. When a guy does it, it's being a playboy. When a girl does it, it's being a slut.



Okay, gender double standards do exist, but what male celebrity dates like Taylor does? And I don't mean 'sleeps with lots of people' or 'has short relationships', I mean, buys houses to be next to them after a few months, thinks they are in forever love, gets dumped, and a few weeks later has another forever love that they buy another house next to and then breaks up with soon after? The female equivalent of a playboy would be a playgirl, and that's not what Taylor is. Gender double standards DO exist, and I'm pretty sure if a man acted like Taylor did he wouldn't be labeled a 'playboy', he'd be labeled by the media as an emotionally damaged, psychologically unbalanced potential stalker.
 
2013-01-08 06:00:34 AM  
I'd eat every inch of her. With a fork and a spoon.

Literally.
 
2013-01-08 06:56:26 AM  
I want to see her naked.

Is that so much to ask?
 
2013-01-08 07:05:19 AM  
When my 12 year old daughter said, " she dating Harry so she can get material for her next album." I knew my daughter was smarter than the rest of the herd.
 
2013-01-08 07:23:25 AM  
I started giving my friends daughter guitar lessons and all she talked about was learning Taylor Swift songs. That almost made me want to quit playing guitar
 
2013-01-08 07:32:03 AM  

SlothB77: She's 23 and can't even keep 18-year-old guys.  Do you know how rare it is for a 23-year-old girl to be dating an 18-year-old guy?  And how embarrassing it would be for the girl to be dumped by the younger guy?


She's 23!?!?
 
2013-01-08 07:46:18 AM  
I wish she would sit on my face.
 
2013-01-08 07:49:37 AM  

Shirley Ujest: When my 12 year old daughter said, " she dating Harry so she can get material for her next album." I knew my daughter was smarter than the rest of the herd.


Really? Don't get me wrong, maybe you are right. But, that's exactly what the heard was saying.....
 
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