Sneakytoes: Tom_Slick: Tom_Slick: The Evil That Lies In The Hearts Of Men: Baby girl: Wipe from front to back.This, So Much this, oh and be prepared for diaper explosions at the most inopportune times, i.e. 5 minutes after you changed a wet diaper and put her in a car seat for a 2 hour ride to grandma's house, there are good times for diaper explosions i.e. 5 minutes after you have handed her to grandma, seriously your mother will think it is cute and rush off to change her before you can say "mom give her back I will take care of it"OTOH, frequent diaper explosions over a long period of time can indicate a problem. Mine came down with ulcerative colitis when she was nine./was hosing her down in the back yard when the WTC got hit
Donnchadha: platkat: Wait until he's at least five or six before his first tattoo.Is that months or weeks?
White_Scarf_Syndrome: You guys...I'm so torn after reading all of this.I'm a single Dad.I don't know what the fark I am doing and I need help for my brains.The only true love I'll defend to the death was when the three of us hugged and were close. No one can ever take that away from me.
Ceteris Paribus says: I picked my kids up tonight, and when I walked into my daughter's classroom she was hiding with another girl in a fort so she didn't see me. I was talking to the teacher and Tori heard my voice, peaked out, saw me and lit up. She burst of the fort and yelled DAAAAAAADDDDEEEEEEEEEEE and ran into my arms and gave me a great big hug.
Committee_For_Aesthetic_Deletions: 2. If they're crying, they're still breathing. Handle the situation calmly.
Donnchadha: TheSignPost: Dude, when they start to eat real food, anything besides milk..... oh man, the poop is terrible.Terrible.Remember Silence of the Lambs? Where she has this stuff in her bag that's probably ultra-strong Vicks Vaporub or something similar that she rubs under her nose to quell the stench from the corpse?You need some of that.I thought formula poop was the worst -- anecdotally, that is -- no first hand experience in any of those matters.
dj_spanmaster: When he's eight years old and accidentally sets fire to the living room rug... go easy on him.
GaperKiller: Right there with you, subby. We're due July 4th.*fistbump*pick their fark handle now
CoronaMikl: Just wait until they are six and yell at you from the top of the stairs "I hate you and hope you die. But first can you drive me to the mall?"
preybyemail: CoronaMikl: Just wait until they are six and yell at you from the top of the stairs "I hate you and hope you die. But first can you drive me to the mall?"Thats one pissed off kindergartener with a cinnibun jones.
Donnchadha: dj_spanmaster: When he's eight years old and accidentally sets fire to the living room rug... go easy on him.That's heavy, man...
bigtommyg: 1.) Hoping you're married to/cohabiting with the mother, my main advice is to prepare HARDCORE for the first three months. Everything goes much, much better if you have a cooperative plan for that time period and execute it from the start.2.) On the same lines, DO NOT be afraid to incorporate your in-laws in that plan if they and your wife are willing. Few of us are big fans of the mother-in-law, but having her around is a calming influence and valuable learning tool for your wife if they have a good relationship. If you absolutely cannot handle her then have her around when you are at work or, if you take time off too, use that time to go shopping for baby supplies/groceries/whatever else is plausibly necessary and allows you to leave the house.3.) Expect absolutely nothing of your partner for the next 6 months-1 year. Giving birth wipes women's brain clean. She will leave stuff in weird places, forget what day it is, get behind on her share of the chores, etc. Mommy Brain is real and near-universal and you need to be understanding and tolerant.4.) Expect less than nothing from your partner for 6 weeks after delivery. She just had her vagina torn open, possibly had her taint cut off during delivery, lost tons of blood, lost tons of female hormones, and is adjusting to a little thing that can only communicate in screams suckling at her bewbs every two hours. She'll get back to the sexy sex. Trust me.5.) Make normal household noise while your infant sleeps. If people are over, talk at normal volumes. Watch TV at NORMAL volumes. Walk around, clean, etc. At this point s/he is going to sleep anyway because when you've been floating in goo for nine months just being awake is exhausting enough. Get him/her used to sleeping through normal noise now and s/he'll be able to do the same when being awake becomes more interesting at around the 4-6 month mark--and likely thereafter.6.) That thing I said about talking if people come over? Tell people NOW not to come over. Except for grandparents, people aren't coming over to help. They're coming over to see the widdle biddy bubba baby bumper and that's it. And the only people you need over right now, are people who will help in other ways too, like washing dishes/bottles or bringing food.7.) Tell grandparents NOW that when they visit early on, you really need them to help DO things other than holdthe widdle biddy bubba baby bumper. If they get pissy then they become subject to Rule 6 because they are just stereotypical Baby Boomers and not real grandparents.8.) YOU CAN'T "SPOIL" AN INFANT." An infant is a helpless little creature that depends on your for every physical and emotional need. When an infant cries there is a REASON and it is your duty to address it. Discipline and spoilation starts when your child can meet a particular need on its own, or when it whines over non-needs (e.g. "THAT toy, not this one"). You will know that time when it comes. For now, lots of holding/cuddling, and when it cries immediately check the diaper, then offer the bottle, then rock a while and put to bed. That covers about all the needs and thus all your necessary reactions.9.) Chronicle everything. You may feel like you're taking too many pics, but you will never complain about HAVING too many pics.10.) CONGRATULATIONS! Babies are GOOD THINGS despite the protestations of probably 200 of the 220+ comments I didn't even bother to read before I posted.
Dwangerous: My advice is to go easy on the Facebook pictures it's OK in small doses but nobody needs to see every damn thing your kid does that you feel is remotely cute.
FozzyNOK: Just as all my children the second they were cleaned up and handed to me, I told them that I would do everything in my power to protect them and I would love them forever... I wrote them a letter of the times that they were born, Sadly, I predicted the end of my first born. He was a protector, a hater of bullies and was a lover of history... RIP SPC Micheal "Pokey" Phillips.. the world someday may see you again, may you live in peace in the next one.
bdhobbs: Baby Bottle bags (with the icepack inside) are encouraged, as they also make an excellent two-beer cooler later on.
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